A Gold Chain OF Directions WITH Twenty Gold-Linkes of Love to preserve Love firm between Husband and Wife during their Lives Profitable for all that are already Married or that intend to take the Honourable and Holy estate of Marriage upon them hereafter Advising for a Right Choice in Marriage and how to keep from those sad Consequences have fallen out in too many Families sometimes upon small dislike between Husband and Wife That happiness may be the Inheritance of Parents and Posterities through the Grace of God in Christ Jesus Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband Ep. 5.33 By Immanuel Bourne a Minister of Christ Jesus our blessed Lord and Saviour London Printed by J. Streater for George Sawbridge dwelling on Clerken-well Green 1669. To the Right Honourable and Noble Lord John Lord Roos the only Son and Heir And to the Right Noble young Ladies the Lady Dorothy Lady Elizabeth Lady Anne and Lady Mary Mannors the eminently virtuous Daughters of the Right Honourable and truly Noble Lord John Earl of Rutland and of the Right Noble Lady the Lady Frances the worthily honoured Countesse of Rutland and my most free and noble Patron and Patronesse and to the rest of their honourable Family and Relations All health and happiness with true content and honour unto you all and to your Noble Parents and their Posterity in this life and eternal glory and blessedness in and by the Lord Jesus Christ in the life to come RIght Noble and my much honoured Lord It is too apparent that if this or the like spiritual Gold Chain of Directions for the happy Choice and enjoyment of a virtuous good Wife and Husband and the Declaration of their mutual Duties to each other had been better known unto and observed after your Marriage by your late so nobly born Lady and no doubt adorned with a noble and honourable Education by her honourable and truly Noble Parents in her younger dayes the too publick and to be lamented Breach between your Honours might by God's blessing have been saved Now to prevent the like disagreement if God in his most wise Providence shall grant you a second Marriage-Union I have made bold and thought good humbly to present these twenty heavenly Gold-links of Love as so many Scripture-Rules of Direction to your Honours your Noble Ladies Reading Meditation and Practice Pray daily to God for your future Happiness and Contentment both in your Choice and Enjoyment to the end of your life And for you ever to be honoured Ladies what can your desires be more or better for this present life then to live happily in a single estate whilest the most wise God seeth it best for you so to continue And to live joyfully with honourable and truly Noble faithful kind and loving Husbands when the same most gracious God shall call you to the high and honourable estate of Marriage The first God hath blessed you with already living with your tender loving and ever to be honoured Parents providently taking care for your noble and virtuous Education with all things necessary for your present Contentment And for the second that you may be blessed in your right Choice and happy enjoyment of truly Noble Religious Faithful and Loving kind Husbands I have exercised my spirit in Reading and Meditation to find out in the sacred Scriptures and consider what Directions might be most available to further your or any others so great a Happiness and have judged best and resolved to bind together some easie Rules of Guidance both for Choice and Life-lasting Possession of such an unvaluable Treasure in the mode or term of a rich Chain of Gold with twenty spiritual Gold-links of Love more pretious then Rubies or sparkling glorious Diamonds of high price and value with the noblest Lords and Ladies in the World They are a kind of body apparrelled not in Courtly attire of silken Rhetorical Elegancies or with Ear-pleasing words and delightful Expressions like some feigned Peices but presented to your Honours in a plain Country dress as desiring they should more take the Hearts with Divine spiritual Counsels in them then the Ear with the sound of pleasing words filled with fancied matters which often times prove but loss of pretious time without any Soul-profit to the Readers Now if you honoured Lord and you noble Ladies please to accept of this Gold Chain of Love as the Testimony of my hearty Desire of your true good both Spiritual and Temporal and the best Gift I am now provided to present unto you I shall esteem it a noble Favour and continue my daily Prayers to God for his blessing upon my ever honoured Lord and Lady your Honourable Parents upon your Honours and all their Honourable Posterity and Relations and Remain From my Study in Waltham in Leicester-shire Novemb 2. 1668. Right Noble Lord and ever honoured Ladies Your aged Servant ready to Honour and Serve you in and for the Lord Jesus Christ Immanuel Bourne Aged 78 years compleat if I live until Dec. 27. next preserved hitherto through Gods mercy Lam. 3. 22 23. THE EPISTLE Dedicatory general To all honoured Christians who have taken upon them the honorable Estate of Matrimony or that intend if God so order it to be marrried hereafter and desire a blessed Union and Communion in a married condition that they may live lovingly together as Heirs of the Grace of Life here on Earth and be happy in Heaven for ever HOnoured Christians for so I cannot but stile all that truly know and believe in God thorough the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour since he hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us spiritual Kings and Priests unto God his Father Rev. 1.5 Marriage is honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled but Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge Hebr. 13.4 And Love is the bond of perfectness Col. 3.19 Now to preserve Love and prevent dishonouring of this honourable Estate I have dedicated this Gold Chain of Directions with twenty Gold-links of Love unto you I commend them to your serious Reading Meditation Application and Practise the Phrase is but plain without inticeing words of mans wisdome 1 Cor. 2.4 but the subject-matter Divine from grounds of sacred Scripture that light to our Feer and lamp to our Pathes as the Holy Ghost by the mouth of King David testifieth Acts 1.16 Holy men spake as they were inspired by the Holy Ghost 2 Pet. 1.21 Psal 119.105 And if God give a blessing and inable you to tread all your lives in these pleasant Pathes of Love they may bring more Profit and comfort to Husbands and Wives in the married estate then rich Jewels of greatest value and high esteem amongst the Princes of this World which that you may find true by daily Experience is the earnest Prayer of Your most humble SERVANT in and for
Mighty God is Thou shalt not Commit Adultery Ex. 20.14 The Lord himself will be witness against such Mal. 2.14 The Lord saith the Prophet hath been a witnesse between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast dealt treacherously yet she is thy Companion and the wife of thy Youth yea of thy Govenant to keep thee only to her And did not he make one saith the Prophet and yet had be residue of spirit and wherefore one one man and one woman that he might seek a godly feed Therefore take heed to your spirit saith he and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth Mal. 2.15 And the same is the sin of the wife and her wickednesse if she break the Marriage-Covenant as you may read Prov. 2.16 17 18. To deliver thee from the strange woman which flattereth with her words which forsaketh the guide of her Youth and forgetieth the Covenant of her God for her House inclineth to Death and her Pathes unto the Dead none that go unto her return again neither take they hold of the Pathes of Life And Prov. 7.27 Of the Adulterous woman the wise wise man concludeth That her House is the way to Hell going down to the Chambers of Death A Whore is a deep Ditch and a strange Woman a narrow Pit Proverbs 23.27 Therefore to be avoyded as snares and Pits prepared for thy Destruction Both the Adulterer and Adultoress they sin grievously and their punishment will be terrible except God in time give them true Repentance for by the Law of God they were both to be stoned to death Levit. 20.10 and Deut. 22.22 That sentence of the Apostle is terrible Hebr. 13.14 Marriage is Honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled But Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge In this life this sin of Adultery and Fornication oftentimes is an occasion of Murder As Shechem's Fornication with Dinah Jacob's Daughter occasioned the Murder of the Shechentites Gen. 34.21 c. And Ammon's Ravishing of Tamar 2 Sam. 13.27 28 c. Besides it excludes such out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6.9 10. And on Earth it is a cause of Divorce as our Saviour declares Mat. 5.32 And thus you see how necessary mutual fidelity is to preserve Conjugall Love between Husband and Wife while they live The twelfth Direction A twelfth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That either of them or both of them have a special Care of their mutual Duties to give right and due respect to each other First the Wife to honour and reverence her Husband as her Head and to obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord as Sarah that great Lady did honour and obey Abraham her Husband calling him Lord 1 Peter 3.6 I say Obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord For as this is the rule of Childrens Obedience to their Parents given by the Spirit of God Ephes 6.1 So it is the rule of all Inferiours to obey their Superiours in all things lawful in the Lord yea expediently also it is to be respected A Husband may not prostitute his Wives Chastity or Honour as he may not prostitute his Daughter to be a Whore as you may read Leviticus 19.29 Nor Husband nor Father can lawfully Command a Wife or Daughter to consent to such a sin nor is either Wife or Daughter bound to obey in such sinful Commands no Superiour hath power to command an Inferiour to sin against Gods Command The Answer to such unlawful Commands of Men or Women is set down by the Holy Ghost Acts 5.20 It is better to obey God then Man These unlawful Commands will stop the current of Love between Husband and Wife For as the Wife is to honour the Husband as her Head so the Husband is no way to dishonour or seek to dishonour his Wife but to honour her as the weaker Vessel as a Coheir with him of the Grace of Life as the Apostle directs 1 Peter 3.7 This living together as heirs of the Grace of Life must be of the Husband to his Wife as to a Companion and Fellow in the Bonds of Marriage as may be intimated Mal. 2.14 15 16. For when God made the Woman as he did not take her out of the Head of Adam to be above him so he did not take her out of Adams Feet to be trampled upon but out of his Side near to his Heart Gen. 2.21 22. to be honoured and loved as his Fellow Helper and beloved Companion And this kind respect on both sides is an excellent means and help to preserve Love between Husband and Wife to the end The thirteenth Direction The thirteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That both husband and wife be mutually carefull in their places for the preservation or increase of their Estate and Provision and Government of their Houshold or Family and provide both for the present and for the future This care of the Husband and his Duty we may learn from that great Apostle 1 Tim. 5.8 If any man provide not for his own especially for those of his own Houshold he hath denied the Faith and is worse then an Infidel That was good Counsel of Solomon Prov. 27.23 24. Be thou diligent to know the state of thy Flocks and look well to thy Herds For Riches are not for ever and doth the Crown endure to every Generation Providence is requisite to preserve an Estate I remember it is above threescore years since when I was in Oxford I did see a little Book of good Counsel writ by a noble Lord to his Son in which he advised his Son to divide his Estate into three parts First one part he might spend in ordinary Expences House-keeping Apparrel and such like A second part lay aside for extraordinary occasions for himself and the Church and Common-wealth And a third part to lay up for increase of his Estate If a man spend beyond his Estate or live at the highest rate of his Incomings he will be constrained to live of borrowing and so of borrowing in the end if in time he labour not to prevent And for the wife also Solomon giveth an excellent Description of a virtuous woman as Prov. 31.10 11 12. to the end of that Chapter read it at your leisure Verses 27.28 He saith a virtuous woman She looketh well to the wayes of her Houshold and eateth not the Bread of idlenesse her Children rise up and call her blessed he Husband also and he praiseth her c. He concludeth Give her of the fruit of her Hands and let her own workes praise her in the Gates The good wife will consider her husbands estate and not presse him to spend above power She will do her husband good and not hurt all the dayes of her life Prov. 31.12 Thus whon there is a mutual providential care of husband and wife for themselves Family and Posterity This is
O Lord Zach. 12.10 prepare our hearts to Prayer and so assist us with thy holy Spirit of Prayer and Supplication Rom. 8.26 27. that our Prayers may be acceptable Rev. 8.3 4. and we may receive a gracious Answer in and for the sweet Incense and Merits of the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen O eternal Deut. 32.27 most gratious merciful everlasting everliving Exod. 34.6 7. Jer. 10.11 1 Tim. 1.17 Isaiah 46.9 10. Rom. 8.28 Rom. 11.33 34 35 36. and only wise God who orderest all things according to the Counsel of thy own most just and holy Will and disposest of all for thy own eternal Glory and the eternal good of thy Church and Children in Christ Jesus of whom may we seek for Protection and safety of Soul or Body or any other blessing but of thee our God and heavenly Father in our Saviour Christ from whom cometh every good and perfect Gift James 1.17 with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning The last night we durst not lay down our eyes to sleep Psal 132.4 nor suffer the temples of our head to take any rest until we had begged thy gratious Providence for preservation of us and ours in particular and of thy whole Church in general And thou O blessed God who art the hearer of Prayer hast in thine abundant goodness heard our Prayer Psal 65.2 Psal 66.18 19 20. and brought us to the light of this day blessed be thy great and glorious Name thou mightest O Lord in thy Justice have consumed us by Fire to ashes Exod. 12.29 30. and made our Beds our Graves One or more of us might have been stricken with some terrible tormenting Sickness we might have been found dead in our Beds as many have been many other miseries might have befallen us But in thy great mercy thou hast spared us Lam. 3.22 23. and renewed thy mercies to us this Morning What shall we render to thy heavenly Majesty for thy Favours And now we dare not adventure into the World without intreating thy Protection and Blessing in and upon our just and lawful Endeavours We confess O Lord we are not worthy the least of all thy mercies Genesis 32.10 and thy loving-kindnesses which from time to time thou hast shewed to thy Servants We acknowledge we have not been sensible of that original corruption of our depraved Natures Eph. 2.1 2 3. and our proneness to Sin drawn from our first Parents corrupted by their lamentable Fall Genesis 3.6 7. Genesis 6.5 nor have we humbled our selves in sence of this our misery as we should have done we have not kept our Hearts with all diligence out of which are the issues of death Prov. 4.23 But our Hearts have followed our Eyes beholding Vanity Jer. 4.14 Psal 141.3 and vain thoughts have too long lodged within us We have not set a watch O Lord before our Lips and kept the doors of our Mouths but many idle unprofitable sinful words for which we must answer at the Day of Judgment have been uttered by us to thy dishonour Mat. 12.36 and evil example of others yea Eph. 4.4 29 30. too many times corrupt Communications to the grief of thy holy Spirit Psal 39.1 Psal 119.67 We have not taken heed to our Feet to walk in the right wayes of thee O Lord but gone aside from the Pathes of thy Commandements and so have been guilty of many actual transgressions both in thought word and deed breaking thy most righteous Lawes We have failed in the Duties of our several particular Relations as Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband Parents to Children and Children to Parents Masters or Dames to Servants and Servants to them not performing our Duties in the fear of God as we ought to have done We have not walked as becometh Christians towards others nor done as we would they should do to us according to that Golden Rule of our blessed Saviour Mat. 7.12 Phil. 1.27 So that by our good Conversation as becometh the Gospel of Christ others might have been stirred up to glorifie thee our heavenly Father Mat. 5.16 So that if thou shouldest enter into judgment with us O Lord Psal 143.2 how can we be justified by any our own righteousness in thy presence Phil. 3.9 10. O then behold us we humbly beseech thee in the face of thy Son Jesus Christ as washed clean by his Blood and accepted by his Merits Mat 3.17 He it is in whom thou art well pleased Acts 5.31 and him thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance to Israel and remission of Sins Psal 19.12 Oh give us true Repentance for all the Errours of our Lives past for Christ's sake and grant that being delivered out of the hands of all our Enemies Luke 1.74 75. we may serve thee without fear of them in righteousness and true holiness all the days of our lives Bless with us we pray thee all our Friends Psal 35.11 12 13 14. Mat. 5.11 and change the Hearts of our Enemies make them our Friends if it be thy will be gracious to our Children and Servants make our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants Isa 41.8 and our Friends thy Friends Lev. 19.17 Let us reprove we pray thee and not give evil example Eph. 5.11 nor suffer our Children or Servants to be prophane Swearers or Cursers Lyars Drunkards or unjust Joh. 13.15 Psal 101.6 7. But grant that we may be good examples and that they may be faithful in the Land such as thy servant David would have make them religious like faithful Abraham's servant praying when they are sent about our occasions Lord send me good speed this day Genesis 24.12 that we and they may be blessed Bless with us thy universal Church scattered thorough out the whole World Be gracious we pray thee to the Nations of England Scotland and Ireland poure down thy blessings upon the Kings most excellent Majesty with his Royal Consort the Queen and all the Royal Family preserve Him and Them from all His 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Their and our Enemies Bless all the honourable Nobility the Reverend faithful Ministers of the Gospel in their several places with all the Magistrates Gentry and Commons of the Land and inable us thy humble servants rightly and justly to do our Duty to all our Superiours 1 Pet. 2.17 Inferiours and Equals and to this end increase we most humble intreat thy Majesty all necessary Graces in all our souls Give us we beseech thee a daily supply and increase of Divine Knowledge and heavenly Wisdome Lord increase our Faith Luk. 17.5 and give us such a Faith as purifieth the Heart Acts 15.9 and worketh by Loves Give us true Conversion from all our sins Gal. 5.6 2 Cor. 7.10 and Repentance to Salvation not to be
yea and many times at least too often and upon light occasions when we should be amiable kind and loving to each other 2 Tim. 3.6 Pro. 11.20 Eph. 4.31 32. with content and quietness and without thy special Grace we cannot bridle these unruly Distempers of our spirits It is in great danger 〈◊〉 12.3 we did think better of our selves and of each other in our Choice then we find by proof to have fallen out since our Marriage-union it is well if we had right grounds of our Love to each other and that it was not rather for by-respects then for the true ends of marriage namely that we might be true and meet Helpers one to another for this and a better life Gen. 2.20 O Lord I thy most humble Servant most earnestly beg pardon Isa 55.7 if either of us failed in any of these respects as I fear we did Now yet there is mercy O Lord in thy Christ to encourage us boldly to come to thy Throne of Grace And therefore now O Father let the bowels of thy mercy be moved towards us Isa 63.15 and give us those necessary Graces by which we may be inabled to walk towards thee our God and one towards an other as becomes the honourable estate of marriage I bless thy most holy Name O Lord that thou hast kept and preserved thy Servant and I am well assured my dear Husband from those dreadful Vices which do so highly dishonour this honourable estate Gen. 20.6 In whatsoever we have failed give pardon unto us I most humbly intreat thee O Father in Christ our blessed Advocate 1 Joh. 2.1 2. and heal our Natures that we may henceforth truly evidence our sincere love one to another and keep I beseech thee that rash impatient unadvised immoderate anger nor any other distemper may prove a root of bitterness sprung up between us Eph. 4.26 Let not the Sun go down upon any such wrath but that we may sleep quietly and lovingly together And preserve me I beseech thee with thy Grace that I may not by any unadvised words or deeds provoke my Husband to do that which may prove sorrow discomfort and disprofit to us both But give me wisdome at all times when any thing is said 1 Sam. 25.25 26 27 to 38. done or doing contrary to the Rules of Love between Husband and Wife that I may endeavour by all fair means in love and by sweet allurements or perswasions to prevent any evil or further him in any good work whatsoever And I beseech thee my God make me wise as Abigail to know how and when to speak to him for thy Glory and the mutual good of us and all ours enable me to give him that reverence and honour which is due to him Eph. 5.33 as my Lord and Husband and give to him that gracious affection towards me that he may give me that loving respect and honour which is due to me as the weaker Vessel 1 Pet. 3.7 that he may dwell with me as a man of knowledge and we may live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life that our Prayers be not hindred Give him O Lord wisdome with thy blessing and a faithful provident endeavour to provide for his own Rom 12.17 for them of his own house as a Husband and a Christian ought to do 1 Tim. 5.8 And grant to me wisdome and grace to look well to the wayes of my Houshold that I may do my Husband good and not hurt all the dayes of my life Prov. 31.12 27. Bless O Lord the Children and the Family which thou hast or shalt of thy goodness bestow upon us Let our Children be as perpetual Pledges of Love between us make them thy Children I most humbly pray thee Lord inable us with care and conscience to be provident for the pious and virtuous Education of our Children Prov. 31.28 according to our Estate and Callings that they may rise up and call us blessed I beseech thee blesse our Estate that we may provide for them a comfortable Living in some honourable or honest Callings while we live and when thou shalt take us from them take them for thy Children and give them in thy due time that Inheritance in which they shall be blessed and happy for ever And put thy holy fear into the Hearts of our Servants that they may first serve thee faithfully and then they will serve us honestly and justly all the time of their habitation with us Be gracious to thy beloved Children all over the Earth Isa 63.9 comfort the afflicted Members of Jesus Christ wheresoever or howsoever distressed amidst the Kingdomes of the World Isa 12.13 exalt the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Bless our most gracious King the Queens Majesty the Royal Family with all the Estates and Orders of Men in Church and Common-wealth preserve the Gospel of Peace Eph. 6.15 and the Peace of the Gospel in these Nations until Christ come to Judgment if it be thy blessed will Remember in mercy all our Relations and especially all such who ever have desired or deserved our Prayers Prepare us all for Eternity for Christ's sake in whose name I thy unworthy Mandmaid beg these and all needful Mercies in that Prayer which our blessed Saviour gave his Disciples Our Father which art in Heaven c. BEloved if any Man or Womans Devotion be so strict as to think these Prayers too long let them search if any thing be begged of God which neither they nor any they ought to pray for want they may pass over that Petition And if there want any Petition for any particular thing not prayed for they may add that Petition if they please according to their present occasions The Lord hear and give a blessing All glory be to God the Father Son and Holy Ghost now and for ever Amen So prayers your Servant in Christ Immanuel Bourne FINIS