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A12547 XII. mery iests, of the wyddow Edyth this lying widow, false and craftie, late i[n] Engla[n]d, hath deceiued many ... Now newly printed, this present yeare, for such as delite, mery iests for to here.; Wydow Edyth Smith, Walter, fl. 1525. 1573 (1573) STC 22870; ESTC S111031 31,018 64

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XII mery Iests of the wyddow Edyth THis lying widow false and craftie Late ī Englād hath deceiued many Both men and women of euery degree As wel of the Spiritual as temporaltie Lordes Knights and Gentlemen also Yemen Groomes that not long ago For in the time of King Henry the eight She hath vsed many a suttle sleight What with lieng weepyng laughyng Dissemblyng boastyng and flatteryng As by this Booke hereafter doth appere Who so list the matter now for to here No fayned Stories but matters in deed Of. xii of her Iestes here may ye reede Now newly printed this present yeare For such as delite mery Iests for to here 1573. ❧ The Contentes of of these xii mery Iestes folowyng THe first mery Iest declareth how this faire and merye Mayden Edyth was maryed to one Thomas Ellys how she ran away with another by whom she had a bastard Doughter and how she deceiued a Gentleman bearynge him in hand how her Doughter was Heire to faire Landes and great Richesse ¶ The second merye Iest how this lying Edyth made a poore man to vnthatch his House bearyng him in hand that she wold couer it with Lead how she deceiued a Barbour makyng him beleue she was a widow and had great aboundance of Gooddes ¶ The thyrd mery Iest how this wydow Edyth deceiued her Hoste at Hormynger her Hoste at Brandonfery and borowed money of them both and also one mayster Guy of whome she borowed iiii Marks ¶ The fourth mery Iest how this wydow Edith deceiued a Doctor of diuinitie at S. Thomas of Akers in London of v. Nobles he layd one for her and how she gaue hym the slyp ¶ The fifth merye Iest how this wydow Edyth deceiued a man and his wife that were ryding on Pylgremage of iiii Nobles that they laid out for her how she deceiued a Scriuener in Lōdon whose name was M. Rowse ¶ The sixt merye Iest how this wydowe Edyth deceiued a Draper in Lōdon of a new Gowne and a new Kyrtell and how she sent hym for a Nest of Gobblets other Plate to that Scriuener whome she had deceiued afore ¶ The vii mery Iest how she deceiued a Seruāt of Sir Thomas Neuells who in hope to haue her in Mariage with al her great Richesse kepte her company tyl al his money was spent and then she tooke her flight and forsooke him ☞ The eight mery Iest how this wydow Edyth deceyued a Seruant of the Byshop of Rochesters with her coggynge and boastynge of her great Richesse who like wise thought to haue had her in Maryage ¶ The ix mery Iest how she deceiued a Lord sōtyme Earle of Arūdell how he sent v. of his men seruantes a handmaid to bere h●r company fetch her Doughter who as she boasted was an Heire of great Landes ¶ The tenth merye Iest how she deceiued three yong men of Chelsey that were seruantes to Syr Thomas More and were all three suters vnto her for Maryage and what mischaunce happened vnto her ¶ The xi mery Iest how she deceiued three yong men of the Lord Legates Seruants with her great liyng crakyng boastyng of her great Treasure and Iueiles ¶ The. xii merye Iest how this wydow Edyth deceyued the good man of the three Cuppes in Holburne and one Iohn Cotes and how they both ryd with her to S Albons to ouersee her houses landes and how thei were rewarded ¶ FINIS ¶ The Preface IN the Cittie of Exceter by West a way The tyme not passed hence many a day There dwelled a Yoman discrete and wise At the Signe of the Flowerdelyse Which had to name Iohn Haukyn Discended he was of an honest line A Man but of a meane stature Full well compact in euery feature Broad he was from pine to pine And red in the face when he dranke wine Blacke was his Haire and hooked his nose And now and then had the cough and the pose A sycknesse rayned vpon him aye Which troubled him sore night and daye Beside the Cough a bloudy flyx And euer among a deadly yex Which brought him to his finall day But ere that tyme I wyll you say He dyd espouse within that Countrie In processe of yeares Wiues three Each after other in mirth and game Women of great substaunce and fame And namely the last wedded wyfe With whom he liued withouten stryfe T●e space of full fyfteen● yeare By than he was layd on a Beare A Daughter he had within band of maryage By his last Wife a worthy caryage Which named was Edyth at the Fontstone Of. ii women and a man of blood and bone And when that her Father was layd in graue From fyre and water her to saue Her Mother aye dyd her busy cure As Mothers done by course of nature And vertuously as I haue hard say She brought vp her daughter night and day Charging her vpon her blessyng That she ne should medle with any thing That sowned vnto good huswyfry But aye study to forge and lye And countenaunce it right well therto In euery place where she dyd go This Childe obeyng her Mother deare Answered to her as you shall heare Mother she sayde I am your Daughter I wyll endeuour my selfe there after While that I liue I shall resigne All such as pertayne to verteous dicyplyne My study shal be how I may conclude In things the people to delude ¶ Thus is the Mother and Daughter agréed Now go sayd the Mother God thée speed Thomas Ellys loueth thée well perfay And woeth thée fast day by day His desyre is to haue thée to wyfe And to liue together all your lyfe Wed him hardely spare not a dele And take another when he hath not his hele Daughter meke mery whiles thou may For this world wyll not last alway She promised her Mother to doo full well Euery thing after her counsell ¶ FINIS The fyrste merye Iest declareth how this faire wel nurtured Damsel Edyth was maryed to one Thomas Ellys and how she ran away with another by whome she had a bastard Doughter and how she deceyued a Gentleman who for her worthinesse preferred her to Sir Thomas Dēnys before whom she auouched her Doughter to be Heire of faire landes THomas Ellys she maryed for a yeare or two And then left hym and away dyd go With a seruant of the Erle of Wyltshyre The which payd her well her hyre By hym in aduoutry a childe she had Which dyed when it was but a Lad Than her Lemman cast her vp Go where she wold gup queane gup She toke her way from thence ouer To a Towne called Andouer And there she made a Gentylman Beleue that she was from hym gone To seeke her a friend which in her right Would defend her with mayne and might For great wrong she said she had And by mighty hand was sore bestad And by mighty hand
a down on her knees deuoutly And tolde her confessour many a great lye And of the treasure that she had in store And when that she could tell no more Master Doctor bad she should be mery He sayd Ego absoluo te Forte sic forte non And when that they had al done Out of the C●●●ch they went both She promised him a Gowne of cloth Of Scarlet coulour very fine in grayne And an hoode therto to kepe him from the rayne She promised him beside all that He should haue ye mary algate Of Goblets no more but a nest And of other things she made him hest So that he wolde while she were in towne Walke with her vp and downe And lay out mony alway as she neede And three times double so god her speede He should haue agayne within three dayes Therin should be made no delayes Master Doctor was well content And in the Cittie before her he went So long tyll that he had out layd Of his owne money and for her payd Fiue Nobles if the reknyng be right And then anone she stale away by night Master Doctor thought great vnkindnes That he was so serued for his gentylnes But she is gone what remedy now His money shal be payd hym I wot neuer how The fyfth mery Iest how this wydow deceyued a man his wife that were goynge on pilgremage who layd out for her iiij Nobles and how she deceiued a Scriuener in London whose name was Rowse BUt more wyll I tel you in very deede Of this wydow whom I pray god speede Shortly after she walked by the Thems side Not far from a way where folke did tide Among all other a man and his wife She saw riding withouten stryfe Both being of meetly good age It semed that they were on pilgremage Toward Canterbery or some other place Where as it pleased god of his grace But where ere they ryd or to what end Right soone she made them both discend Downe from their caple to the cold ground For she fared as she wold her selfe drownd This goodmans name was called Iohn Frank His wyfe Annes a Dame full crank Both they came ronning in great hast Toward this wydow fullsore a gast Leest that she ere they come neare Wolde spill her selfe she made such cheare Iohn Frank cryed woman remember thee What intendest thou aye benedicteie Thynk on God and banysh the fowle feend Beware of dispayre thy selfe not shend She stayed at that and sighed sore And sayd belssed be you I can no more For had ye not come the sooner verely I should haue ben damned perpetually But I pray you now tel me what I shal doe Quod this frank come away with vs go And tell vs further of your estate Then quod she I haue great hate God I take to iudge for mine owne right My goods ar taken away by might Undone I am standyng on this ground I am scarcely left worth iii hundreth pound As in mouable substance beside a lytell lande Whiche mine husbande left vnto my hand For she sayd that her husbande was a great man Of lande and sayd that he was dea● ta●l God assoyle his soule quod she he was kind to me And I trust I quyt his kyndenes quod she For all folke saiyng God forgeue them This Frank desyred her to walke with hym As farre as London and he would do his payne That she might be restored agayne And the malefactors punished what soeuer they be Wydow dread ye nothyng quod he But come on this way in the name of any lorde And I shall bryng you where ye shall be at boord with a frende of myne in an honest howse The good mannes sir name is called Rowse There ye shall be honestly intreated But where is the Stuffe wherof ye speaked At Kyngston at Kyngston then quod she I care not muche for it so mot I thee Ne for all this world and therwith she gan wepe This Frankes hart than in his body lepe This game thought he goeth fayre and well He requyred her no more to tell As at that tyme but went foorthryght And came to their lodgyng before nyght To Frankes frende as I tolde you before A Scryuener he was and wrought full sore To hym they were welcome and welcome agayn And specially whē Frank had tould him certain what woman she was and of what substance Then she tould the Scryuener of the great dystance That she was at ●or her ryght And much wrong she had by meanes of a knight whiche shal be nameles as yet quod she Tyll I see my tyme auenged for to bee God wyll sende me once a frende I truste Before whiche tyme I can take no rest Nother in body nor in conscience Tary ye here sayd the Scryuener go ye not hence And we shall haue frendes ynow for money I wyll not sticke for that truely quod she Howbeit my money is almost spent But I haue other thynges whiche shal be hent And money made therof me to defende I neuer had that Iewell so God me mende In all my lyfe but could finde in myne hert In tyme of neede therwith to depart At Kyngston on Temmes I haue certayne Plate Xl. poundes wurthe for all this mortall hate And other thynges withall els I be shrewe some ▪ She desyred her Hoste to her for to come I haue quod she to tell you in p●iuitie Step ye a lytell apart let your busynes bee ▪ Into the shop they go out of the hall And than she began for to tell hym all And more too by an hundreth lyes The Scryuener thanked her xl sythes For she had made to hym graunt Of part of her Plate wherof she made vaunt ▪ And the keepyng of altogether he shuld haue An Othe she sware so God her saue Of all her treasure she cared nor a myte So that she might her enemyes acquyte But Hoste quod she my friende leefe and dere I pray you of your good counsell here This wretched worlde I am mynded to forsake And chastytie for to avowe and take All my causes I am content to resine Into your handes myne owne Hoste myne Doo as ye lyst be it good or yll Ye shall haue all to order at your wyll The Scryuener sayd gramercy Maistresse Forsothe quod he ye intende well doubtlesse If ye wyll do as ye say I holde well withall Than he called Iohn Franke out of the Hall And made hym preuie vnto euery thyng She said vnto thē both that she ought offeryng To Sainct Sauiours and she would very fayne Go pay her Offeryng and then returne agayne And after she said that she would desire Her Hoste to wryte her Testament for hyre And last wyll whyle she were in good mynde So discretly that as for vnkinde Her frendes should not hold her another day whan that her presence is hence away The Scryuener Frank both praysed her gretly For her good purpose and said to her truely To performe your Pylgremage