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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A13524 The world runnes on vvheeles: or oddes, betwixt carts and coaches Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1623 (1623) STC 23816; ESTC S101982 17,053 38

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their Barr'd Bolted and Barracadoed Wicket About 2. a Clocke it may be after walking an houre or twaine Sir Sellall comes downe vntrust with a Pipe of Tobacco in his fist to know your businesse hauing first peeped through a broken pane of Glasse to see whether you come to demaund any money or olde debt or not when after a few hollow dry complements without drinke he turnes you out at the gate his worship returning to his Stove What Townes are layde waste what fields lye vntilled what goodly houses are turn'd to the habitations of Howlets Dawes and Hobgoblins what numbers of poore are encreased yea examine this last yeare but the Register bookes of burials of our greatest Townes and Parishes of the land as Winondham in Norfolke White Chappell neere London and many other and see how many haue beene buried weekely that haue meerely perished for want of bread whilst Pride and Luxurie dam vp our streetes Barracado our high wayes and are ready euen to driue ouer their Graues whom their vnmercifull Pride hath farnished Whence comes Leather to be so deare but by reason or as I should say against reason of the multitude of Coaches and Carroaches who consume and take vp the best Hides that can be gotten in our Kingdome insomuch that I cannot buy a payre of Boores for my selfe vnder an Angell nor my Wife a payre of Shooes though her foote be vnder the seauenteenes vnder eight groates or three shillings by which meanes many honest Shoomakers are either vndone or vndoing and infinite numbers of poore Christians are enforced to goe barefooted in the colde Winters till with very benummednesse some their toes and some their feete are rotted off to the numberlesse encrease of crooched Cripples and wooden legg'd beggers of which sort of miserable dismembred wretches euery streete is plentifully stored with to the scorne of other Nations and the shame and obloquy of our owne The Saddlers being an ancient a worthy and a vsefull Company they haue almost ouerthrowne the whole trade to the vndoing of many honest Families For whereas within our memories our Nobility and Gentry would tide well mounted and sometimes walke on foot gallantly attended with three or foure score braue fellowes in blew coates which was a glory to our Nation and gaue more content to the beholders then forty of your Leather Tumbrels Then men preseru'd their bodies strong and able by walking riding and other manly exercises then Sadlers were a good Trade and the name of a Coach was Heathen-Greeke Who euer saw but vpon extraordinary occasions Sir Philip Sidney Sir Francis Drake Sir Iohn Norris Sir William Winter Sir Roger Williams or whom I should haue nam'd first the famous Lord Gray and Willoughby with the renowned George Earle of Cumberland or Robert Eatle of Essex These sonnes of Mars who in their times were the glorious Brooches of our Nation and an admirable terrour to our Enemies these I say did make small vse of Coaches and there were two maine reasons for it the one was that there were but few Coaches in most of their times and the second reason is they were deadly foes to all sloath and effeminacie The like was Sir Francis Vere with thousands others but what should I talke further this is the ratling rowling rumbling age and The World runnes on Wheeles The Hackney-men who were wont to haue furnished Trauellers in all places with fitting and seruiceable Horses for any iourney by the multitude of Coaches are vndone by the dozens and the whole Common-wealth most abhominably Iaded that in many places a man had as good to ride vpon a wodden Post as to Post it vpon one of those poore hunger-staru'd hirelings which enormity can be imputed to nothing but the Coaches intrusion is the Hackney-mans confusion Nor haue we poore Watermen the least cause to complaine against this infernall swarme of Trade-spillers who like the Grashoppers or Caterpillers of Egipt haue so ouer-runne the land that we can get no liuing vpon the water for I dare truly affirme that euery day in any Tearme especially if the Court be at Whitehall they do rob vs of our liuings and carry 560. fares daily from vs which numbers of passengers were wont to supply our necessities and enable vs sufficiently with meanes to doe our Prince and Countrey seruice and all the whole fry of our famous Whores whose ancient Lodgings were neere S. Katherines the Bankside Lambeth-Marsh Westminster White Friers Coleharbar or any other place neere the Thames who were wont after they had any good Trading or reasonable commings in to take a Boate and ayre themselues vpon the water yea and by your leaue be very liberall to and I say as a Mercer said once A Whores money is as good as a Ladies and a Bawdes as current as a Midwiues Tush those times are past and our Hackney Coaches haue hurried all our Hackney customers quite out of our reach towards the North parts of the Citie where they are daily practised in the Coach that by often iolting they may the better endure the Cart vpon any occasion and indeede many times a hired Coachman with a basket hilted blade hang'd or executed about his shoulders in a belt with a cloake of some py●e colour with two or three change of Laces about may man a brace or a Leash of these curu●tting Cockatrices to their places of recreation and so saue them the charge of maintaining a Sir Pandarus or an Apple-squire which seruice indeede to speake the truth a Waterman is altogether vnfit for and the worst is most of them are such Loggerheads that they either will not learne but as I thinke would scorne to be taught so that if the Sculler had not bene paide when hee was paide it is to be doubted that he should neuer haue beene paide for the Coachman hath gotten all the custome from the Scullers pay-Mistris This is one apparent reason why all the Whores haue forsaken vs and spend their Cash so free and frequent vpon those ingenious well practiz'd and seruiceable hired Coachmen but a Pox take em all whither doth my wits runne after Whores and Knaues I pray you but note the streetes and the chambers or lodgings in Fleet streete or the Strand how they are pesterd with them especially after a Masque or a Play at the Court where euen the very earth quakes and trembles the Cazements shatter tatter and clatter and such a confused noyse is made as if all the deuils in hell were at Barly-breake so that a man can neither sleepe speake heare write or eate his dinner or supper quiet for them besides their tumbling din like a counterfeit Thunder doth sowre Wine Ale and Beere most abhominably to the impairing of their healths that drinke it and the making of many a Victualer and Tapster Trade-falne A Wheelewright or a maker of Carts is an ancient a profitable and a Trade which by no meanes can be wanted yet so poore it is that scarce the best