98. His Lordship when he was newly made Lord-Keeper was in Grays-Inne Walks with Sir Walter Rawleigh One came and told him that the Earl of Exeter was above He continued upon occasion still walking a good while At last when he came up my Lord of Eâ—â—ter met him and said My Lord I have madâ— a great vâ—nture to come up so high stairs being a gowty man His Lordship answered pâ—â—don me my Lord I have made the greatest Venture of all For I have Ventured upon your Patience 99. When Sir Francis Bacon was made the Kiâ—gs Atturney Sir Edward Cooâ— was put up from being Lord chief Iu stice of the Common Pleas to be Lorâ— chief Iustice of the Kings Pench which is a place of greater Honour but of less Profit And withal was made Privyâ— Counsellor After a few days the Lord Cook meeting with the Kings Aâ—â—urney said unto him Mâ— Atturney this is all your doing It is you that have made thisâ— stir Mr. Atturney answered Ah my Lord your Lordship all this while â—â—ath grown in Bredth You must needs â—ow grow in Heighth or else you would be a Monster 100. One day Queen Elizabeth told Mr. Bacon that my Lord of Essex after great Protestation of Penitence and affection fell in the end but upon the Suit of renewing his Farm of Sweet Wines He answered I read that in Nature there be two kinds of Motions or Appetites in Sympathy The one as of Iron to the Adamant for perfection The other 〈◊〉 the Vine to the Stake for sustentation â—at her Majesty was the one and his â—â—uit the other 101. Mr. Bacon after he had been veâ—â—ent in Parliament against Depopuâ—â—tion and Enclosures And that soon â—â—ter the Queen told him that she had â—â—erred the hearing of Mr. Mills Cause 〈◊〉 certain Counsellors and Iudges and â—â—â—ked him how he liked of it Answered 〈◊〉 Madam my Mind is known I am â—â—â—ainst all Enclosures and especially againâ—â—â—â—â—closed Iustice 102. When Sir Nicholas Bacon the â—â—rd Keeper lived every Room in Gorâ—â—mbury was served with a Pipe of Waâ— from the Ponds distant about a Mile 〈◊〉 In the life-time of Mr. Anthony â—â—con the Water ceased After whose â—â—ath his Lordship coming to the Inheâ—â—ance could not recover the Water â—â—thout infinite charge When he was â—â—rd Chancellor he built Verulam House â—ose by the Pond-yard for a place of â—â—ivacy when he was called upon to spatch an urgent business And being â—â—ked Why he built that House there is Lordship answered that since he â—â—uld not carry the Water to his House He would carry his House to the Waâ— 103. When my Lord President of 〈◊〉 Councel came first to be Lord Treasurer 〈◊〉 complained to my Lord Chancellor of 〈◊〉 troublesomness of the place for that 〈◊〉 Exchequer was so empty The Lord Châ—â—â—ellor answered My Lord be of 〈◊〉 cheer for now you shall see the bottom 〈◊〉 your business at the first 104. When his Lordship was newly â—â—â—vanced to the Great Seal Gondomar caâ—â— to visit him My Lord said That he 〈◊〉 to thank God and the King for that â—â—â—â—nour But yet so he might be rid of 〈◊〉 he could very willingly forb 〈◊〉 the Honour And that â—e formerly haâ— desire and the â—â—me continued with 〈…〉 to lead a private life Gondâ—â— answered That he would tell him 〈◊〉 Tale of an old Rat that would 〈◊〉 leave the World And acquaiâ—ted the youâ— Rats that he would retire into his Hâ—â— and spend his days solitarily and woâ—â—â— enjoy 〈…〉 comfort and commanâ— them upon his high displâ—â—sure not to 〈◊〉 to come in unto him They forâ—â—re two 〈◊〉 three days At last one that was 〈◊〉 hurity than the rest incited some of 〈◊〉 Fellows to go in with him and he woâ—â—â— venture to see how his Father did For â—â—ght be dead They went in and found 〈◊〉 old Rat sitting in the midst of a rich â—â—rmizan Cheese So he applyed the Faâ—â— after this witty manner 105. Rablais tells a Tale of one that â—s very Fortunate in compounding difâ—â—rences His Son undertook the said â—â—â—ourse but could never compound any â—hereupon he came to his Father and â—â—ked him What are he had to reconcile â—ifferences He answered He had no 〈◊〉 but this To watch when the two parâ—â—â— were much weariâ—d and their hearts â—ere too great to seek Reconcilement at 〈◊〉 â—â—others hands Then to be a means beâ—wixt them and upon no other Terms Afâ—er which the Son went home and prosâ—ered in the same undertakings 106. Alonso Cartilio was informed by â—â—is Steward of the greatness of his Exâ—ence being such as he could not hold â—ut therewith The Bishop asked him 〈◊〉 it chiefly arose His Steward told â—im In the multitude of his Servâ—â—ts The Bishop â—id him make him a Note of â—hose that were necessary and those that â—ight be spared Which he did And the Bishop taking occasion to read it before â—ost of his Servants said to his Steward â—ell let these remain because I have need of them And these others because 〈◊〉 have need of me 107. Mr. Marbury the Prâ—acher woâ—â—â— say That God was fain to deal with wiâ—â—â—ed men as men do with frisking jades a pasture that cannot take them up 〈◊〉 they get them at a gate So wiâ—ked 〈◊〉 will not be taken up till the Hour 〈◊〉 Death 108. Pope Xystâ—â— the fifth who waâ— very poor Mans Son and his Fathâ—â— House ill thatched so that the Sun caâ—â— in in many places would sport with 〈◊〉 Ignobility and say That he was Naâ— di casa Illustre Son of an Illustriâ—â— House 109. When the King of Spain Coâ—quered Portugal he gave special chargâ— to the Lieutenant that the Souldieâ— should not spoil lest he should alienaâ—â— the hearts of the People The Army alâ—â— suffered much scaâ—city of Victual Where upon the Spanish Souldiers would after wards say That they had won the King 〈◊〉 Kingdom on Earth As the Kingdom 〈◊〉 Heaven useth to be won By Fasting anâ— abstaining from that which is anotheâ— Mans. 110. They feigneda Tale of Sixtuâ—â— Quintus whom they called Size-Aâ—â—â— â—â—at after his Death he went to Hell â—â—d the Pâ—â—ter of Hell said to him You â—â—ve some reason to offer your self to this 〈◊〉 because you were a wicked Man 〈◊〉 yet because you were a Pope I have â—er not to receive you You have a place your own Purgatory you may go thiâ—â— So he went away and sought about â—â—reat while for Purgatory and could 〈◊〉 no such place Upon that he took â—â—rt and went to Heaven and knocked 〈◊〉 St. Peter asked Who was there He 〈◊〉 Sixtus Pope Whereunto St. Peter 〈◊〉 why do you knock you have the Keys â—â—uts answered It is true but it is so â—g since they were given as I doubt the â—â—rds of the Lock are altered 111. Charles King of Swide a great â—emy to the Jesuites when he took 〈◊〉 of their Colledges he would hang 〈◊〉 old Jesuites and put the young to 〈◊〉 Mines saying That since
the cheapest way to work Why Goldingham laid my Lord Marry my Lord said Goldingham Count you but upon the posts for the Country will find you Railing 29. The Lord Keeper Sir Nicholas Bacon was asked his Opinion by Queen Elizabeth of one of these Monopoly Licenses And he answered Madam will you have me speak the Tâ—uth Licentiâ omnes deteriores sumus We are all the worse for Licenses 30. My Lord of Essex at the Succour of Rboane made 24 Knights which at that time was a great number Divers of those Gentlemen were of weak and small Means which when Queen Elizabeth heard she said My Lord might have done well to have built his Alms-house before he made his Knights 31. The Deputies of the Reformed Religion after the Massacre which was at Paris upon Saint Bartholomâ—ws Day treated with the King and Queen Mother and some other of the Counsel for a Peace Both sides were agreed upon the Articles The question was upon the security for the performance After some particulars propounded and rejected the Queen Moâ—her said Why Is not the word of a King sufficient security One of the Deputies answered No by Saint Bartho omew Madam 32. There was a French Gentleman speaking with an English of the Law Saâ—ique That Womeâ— were excluded from Inheriting the Câ—own of France The English said Yes but that was meant of the Women themselves not of such Males as claimed by Women The French Genâ—leman said Where do you find that gloss The English answered I 'le tell you Sir Look on the back-side of the Record of the Law Salique and there you shall find it endorsed Implying that there was no such thing as the Law Salique but that â—t is a meer fiction 33. A Fryar of France being in an earnest Dispute about the Law Salique would need prove it by Scripture citing that verse of the Gospel Lilia Agri non â—aborant neque nent The Lilies of the Field do neither labour nor spin Applying it thus That the Flower de Luces of France cannot descend neither to the Drâ—â—â— staff nor to the Spade That is not to 〈◊〉 Woman nor to a Peasant 34. When Peace was renewed witâ— the French in England divers of thâ— great Counsellors were presented from thâ— French with Iewels The Lord Henâ—â— Howard being then Earl of Northampâ—onâ— and a Counsellour was omitted Whereâ— upon the King said to him My Lord how happens it that you have not a Iewâ—â— as well as the rest My Lord answeredâ— according to the Fable in Aesope Noâ—â— sum Gallus itaque non reperi Gemman 35. The same Earl of Northampton then Lord Privy Seal was ask'd by Kinâ— Iames openly at the Table where commonly he entertained the King with discourse the King ask'd him upon the sudden My Lord have you not a desireâ—â— to see Rome My Lord Privy Seal answered Yes indeed Sir The King said And why My Lord answered Because if it please your Majesty it was the seat of the greatest Monarchy and the Sâ—minarâ— of the â—ravest men of the world whilestâ— was Heathâ—n And then Secondly becâ—â—seâ— afterwards it was the Son of so many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church most of them Martyr The King would not give â—over but said And for nothing else 〈◊〉 Lord answered Yes if it please your â—ajesty for two things more The onâ— to â—him who they say hath so great a power forgive other men their sins to confess own â—ins upon his knees before a Chapâ—in or Priest And the other to hear Antiâ—â—rist say his creed 36. Sir Nicholas Bacon being appointâ—â— a Judge for the Northern Circuit â—â—d having brought his Trails that came â—â—fore him to such a pass as the passing 〈◊〉 Sentence on Malefactors he was by â—â—e of the Malefactors mightily imporâ—ned for to save his life which when â—othing that he had said did avail he atâ— ngâ—h desired his Mercy on the account 〈◊〉 Kindred Prethee said my Lord Judg â—ow came that in Why if it please you 〈◊〉 Lord your Name is Bacon and 〈◊〉 is Hog and in all Ages Hog and Baâ—â—n have been so neer kindred that they â—â—e not to be separated I but replyed â—udg Bacon you and I cannot be kindâ—â—d except you beâ—hanged for Hog is not â—acon until it be well hanged 37. Two Scholars and a Countrey man â—â—avelling upon the Road one night â—â—dged all in one Inn and supt together where the Scholars thought to have puâ— trick upon the Country man which 〈◊〉 thus The Scholaâ—s appointed for Suâ—per two Pigeons and a Fat Capoâ— which being ready was brought up aâ— they having set down the one Schoâ—â— took up one Pigeon the other Schoâ—â— took the other Pigeon thinking there that the Country man should have 〈◊〉 still until that they were ready for tâ—â— carving of the Capon which he perceâ—â—ving took the Capon and laid it on 〈◊〉 Trencher and thus said Daintily coâ—trived every one a bird 38. Iack Roberts was desired by hâ—â— Taylor when the Reckoning grew someâ— what high to have a Bill of his hanâ— Roberts said I am content but you muâ— let no man know it when the Taylâ—â—â—â—rought him the Bill he tore it as 〈◊〉 choler and said to him you use me nâ—â— use me well you promised me no man shouâ—â— know it and here you have put in Be â— known unto all men by these Presents 39. Sir Walter Raleigh was wont 〈◊〉 say of the Ladies of Queen Elizabeths Privy Chamber and Bed Chamber Thaâ— they were like Witches they could do hurtâ— but they could do no good 40. There was a Minister deprived foâ—â— â—â—â—conformity who said to some of his â—â—iends that if they deprived him it â—â—ould cost an hundred mens lives the â—rty understood it as being a turbulent â—low he would have move sedition â—â—â—d complained of him whereupon beâ—â—g convented and oppâ—sed upon that â—eech he said his meaning was â—â—at if he lost his Benefice he would practâ—â— Physick and then he thought he should 〈◊〉 an hundred men in time 41. Secretary Bourns Son kept a Genâ—â—emans Wife in Shropshire who lived â—om her Husband with him when he as weary of her he caused her Husband 〈◊〉 be dealt with to take her home and â—fered him five hundred pounds for reâ—â—ration the Gentleman went to Sir 〈◊〉 Sidney to take his advice upon this 〈◊〉 telling him that his Wife promised 〈◊〉 a new life and to tell him truth 〈◊〉 hundred pounds would come well â—ith him and besides that sometimes â—e wanted a Woman in his Bed By my â—roth said Sir Henry Sidney Take her 〈◊〉 and take the Money then when as 〈◊〉 her Cucholds wear their Horns plain you â—ay wear yours guilt 42. When Rablais the great â—ester of â—rance lay on his death bed and they gave him the Extream Unction a faâ—â—â—â— liar friend of his came to him afterwarâ— and asked him how he did Rablais aâ—swered Even going my Iourny they 〈◊〉 greased my Boots already 43. Mr. Bron ley Sollicitor giving
they wrought â—ard above ground he would try how â—d they could work under ground 112. In Chancery at one time when 〈◊〉 Counsel of the Parties set forth the â—â—undaries of the Land in Question by 〈◊〉 Plot And the Counsel of the one â—â—rt said We lye on this side My Lord â—â—d the Counsel of the other part said And we lye on this side The Lord Chancellor Hatton stood up and said If you lye on both sides whom will you â—ave me to believe 113. Sir Edward Cook was wont to say when a great Man came to Dinner to him and gave him no knowledg of his coming Sir since you sent me no word of your coming you must dine with me But if I had known in due time I would have dined with you 114. William Earl of Pembrook upon the complaint made of a Servant of his laid a Citizen by the heals thinking to bend him to his Servants desire But the Fellow being stubborn the Servant came to his Lord and told him Your Lordship I know has gone as far as well you may but it works not For yonder Fellow is more perverse than before Said my Lord Let 's forget him a while and then he will remember himself 115. Pope Iulius the 3â—â— when he was made Pope gave his Hat unto a Youth a favorite of his with great â—eandal Whereupon at one tâ—â—e a Cardinal that might be free with him said modestly to him What did your Holiness see in that young man to make him Cardiâ—â—l Iulius answered What did you see 〈◊〉 me to make mr Pope 116. The same Iulius upon like occaâ—sion of Speech why he should bear so great affection to the same Young Man would say That he found by Astrology â—hat it was the Youths destiny to be a great Prelate which were impossible except himself were Pope And therefore that he did raise him as the Driver on of his own Fortune 117. Sir Thomas Moor had only Daughters at the first and his Wife did ever pray for a Boy At last she had a Boy which being come to Mans Estate proved but simple Sir Thomas said to his Wife Thou prayedst so long for a Boy that he will be a Boy as long as he lives 118 Sir Fulk Gravil afterward Lord Brook in Parliam when the House of Commons in a great Business stood much upon Precedents said unto them Why do you stand so much upon precedents The Times hereafter will be good or bad If good precedents will do no harm If bad power make away where it finds none 119. Sir Tho. Moor on the day that he was beheaded had a Barber sent to him because his Hair was long which was thought would make him more commiserated with the People The Barber came to him and asked him whether he would 〈◊〉 pleased to â—e trim'd In good faith honest fellow said Sir Thomas the King and I have a suit for my head and till the Title be cleared I will do no cost upon it 120. Stephen Gardiner Bishop of Winchester a great Champion of the Popish Religion was wont to say of the Protestants who ground upon the Scripture That they were like Posts that bring truth in their Letters and lyes in their Mouths 121. The former Sir Thomas Moor had sent him by a Suiter in Chancery two silver Flagons When they were presented by the Gentlemans Servant he said to one of his Men Have him to the Celler and let him have of my best Wine And turning to the Servant said Tell they Master if he like it let him not spare it 122. Michael Angelo the famous Painter painting in the Popes Chappel the Pourtracture of Hell and damned Souls Made one of the damned Souls so like a Cardinal that was his Enemy as every body at first sight knew it Whereupon the Cardinal complained to Pope Clemâ—â—t humbly praying It might be defaced The Pope said unto him Why you know very well that I have power to deliver a Soul out of Purgatâ—ry but not out of Hell 123. There was an Agent here of the Dutch called Carroon And when he used to move the Queen for further Succours and more Men My Lord Henry Howard would say That he agreed well with the Name of Charon Ferry-man of Hell For he cam still for more men to increase Regnum umbrarum 124. They were wont to call Referring to the Masters in Chancery Committing My Lord Keeper Egerton when he was Master of the Rolls was wont to ask What the cause had done that it should â—e Committed 125. They feigned a Tale principally against Doctors Reports in the Cancery That Sir Nicholas Bacon when he came to Heaven-Gate was opposed touching an unjust Decree which had been made in the Chancery Sir Nicholas desired to see the Order whereupon the Decree was drawn up and finding it to begin Veneris c. Why saith he I was then sitting in the Star-Chamber This concerns the Master of the Rolls let him answer for it Soon after came the Master of the Rolls Cordial who died indeed a small time after Sir Nicholas Bacon and he was likewise staid upon it And looking into the Order he found that upon the reading of a Certificate of Doctor Gibson it was Ordered that his Report should be decreed And so he put it upon Doctor Gibson and there it stuck 126. Sir Nicholas Bacon when a certain nimble-witted Counsellor at the Bar who was forward to speak did interrupt him often said unto him There 's a great difference beiwixt you and me A pain to me speak and a pain to you to hold your peace 127. The same Sir Nicholas Bacon upon Bills exhibited to discover where Lands lay upon proof that they had a certain quantity of Land but could not set it wont to say And if you cannot forth was find your Land in the Country how will you have me find it in the Chancery 128. Mr. Houland in conference with a young Student arguing a Case hapned to say I would ask you but this Question The Student presently interrupted him to give him an Answer Whereunto Mr. Houland gravely said May though I do ask you a Question yeâ— I did 〈◊〉 mean you should answer me I mean to answer my self 129. Pope Adrian the sixth was talking with the Duke of Sesa that Pasquit gave great scandal and that he would have him thrown into the River But Sesa answered Do it not Holy Father For then he will turn Frog And whereas now he chants but by day he will then chant both by day and by night 130. There was a Gentleman in Italy that writ to a great Friend of his whom the Pope had newly advanced to be Cardinal That he was very glad of his Advancement for the Cardinals own Sake But he was sorry that himself had lost a good Friend 131. There was a King of Hungary took a Bishop in Battel and kept him Prisoner Whereupon the Pope writ a Monitory to him For that he had broken the
go less abroaâ— to take the Air weakly attended as shâ—â— used But the QVEEN answered Thâ— she had rather be dead then put in Custody 15. The Lady Paget that was very prâ—â—vate with Queen Elizabeth declared heâ—â—self much against the Match with Moâ—â—sieur After Monsieurs Death the Queeâ— took extream grief at least as she madâ— shew and kept in within her Bed-Chaâ—â—ber and one Ante-Chamber for thrâ—â— weeks space in token of mourning Aâ—â—last she came forth into her Privi-Chaâ—â—ber and admitted her Ladies to have aâ—â— eess unto her and amongst the rest 〈◊〉 Lady Paget presented her self and caâ—â— to her with a smiling Countenance Tâ—â— Queen bent her Brows and seemed to 〈◊〉 highly displeased and said to her Mâ—â—am you are not ignorant of my extream â—rief and do you come to me with a Counâ—nance of Ioy My Lady Paget answered â—las if it please your Majesty it is impossiâ—le for me to be absent from you three weeks â—ut that when I see you I must look chearâ—â—ully No no said the Queen not forâ—etting her former Averseness to the Match you have some other conceit in iâ— â—ell me plainly My Lady answered I â—ust obey you It is this I was thinking â—ow happy your Majesty was you married â—ot Monsieur For seeing you take such â—hought for his Death being but your friend If he had been your Husband sure it would â—ave cost you your life 16. Henry the 4th of France his Queen was young with Child Count Soisons that had his expectation upon the Crown when it was twice or thrice thought that the Queen was with Child before said to some of his Friends That it was a but with 〈◊〉 Pillow This had some ways come to the Kings Ear who kept it till such time as the Queen waxed great Then he called the Count of Soisons to him and said laying his hand upon the Queens Belly Come Cousin is this a Pillow The Count of Soisons answered Yes Sir 〈◊〉 is a Pillow for all France to sleep upon 17. King Henry the 4th of France was so punctual of his word after it was once passed that they called him The King of the Faith 18. The said King Henry the 4th was moved by his Parliament to War against the Protestants He answered Yes I mean it I will make every one of you Captains you shall have Companies assigned you The Parliament observing whereunto his Speech tended gave over and deserted his motion 19. Queen Elizabeth was wont to say upon the Commission of Sales That the Commissioners used her like Strawberry-Wives that layed two or three great Strawberries at the mouth of their pot and all the rest were little ones so they made her two or three good prises of the first particulars but fell straight ways 20. Queen Elizabeth used to say of her Instructions to great Officers That they were like to Garments streight at the first putting on but did by and by wear loose enough 21. A great Officer at Court when my Lord of Essex was first in trouble and that he and those that dealt for him would talk much of my Lords Friends and of his Enemies answered to one of them I will tell you I know but one Friend and one Enemy my Lord hath and that one Friend is the Queen and that one Enemy is himself 22. The Book of Deposing King Richard the Second and the coming in of Henry the 4th supposed to be written by Doctor Hayward who was committed to the Tower for it had much incensed Queen Elizabeth and she asked Mr. Bacon being then of her Counsel learned whether there were any Treason contained in it who intending to do him a pleasure and to take of the Queens bitterness with a merry concelt answered No Madam for Treason I cannot deliver Opinion that there was any but very much Felony The Queen apprehending it gladly asked How And wherein Mr. Bacon answered Because he had stolen many of his Sentences and Conceits out of Cornelius Tacitus 23. Queen Elizabeth being to resolve upon a great Officer and being by some that canvased for others put in some doubt of that person whom she meant to advance called for Mr. Bacon And told him she was like one with a Lanthorn seeking a man and seemed unsatisfied in the choice she had of a man for that place Mr. Bacon answered her that he had heard that in old time there was usually painted in the Church Walls the Day of Doom and God sitting in Iudgment and Saint Michael by him with a pair of Ballanâ—es And the Soul and the Good Deeds in the one Ballance and the Faults and the Evil Deeds in the other and the Souls Ballance went up far too light Then was our Lady painted with a great pair of Bends who cast them into the light Ballance and brought down the Skale So he said Place and Authority which were in her Majesties hands to give were like our Ladies Beads which though men through any Imperfections were too light before yet when they were cast in made weight competent 24. Queen Elizabeth was dilatory enough in suits of her own Nature and the Lord Treasurer Burleigh being a Wife Man and willing therein to feed her humour would say to her Madam you do well to lâ—t Suitors stay For I shall tell you Bis dat qui cito dat if you grant them speedily they will come again the sooner 25. Sir Nicholas Bacon who was Keeper of the Great Seal of England when Queen Elizabeth in her Prâ—gress came to his House at Gorhambury and said to him My Lord what a little House have you gotten Answered her Madam my House is well but it is you that have made me too great for my House 26. There was a Conference in Parliament betweeen the Lords House and the House of Commons about a Bill of Accountants which came down from the Lords to the Commons which Bill prayed That the Lands of Accountants whereof they were seized when they entred upon their Office might be liable to their Arrears to the Queen But the Commons desired that the Bill might not look back to the Accountants that were already but extend only to Accountants heareafter But the Lord Treasurer said why I pray yru if you had lost your Purse by the way would you look forwards or would you look back The Queen hath lost her Purse 27. The Lord Keeper Sir Nicholas Bacon was asked his Opinion by my Lord of Leicester concerning two persons whom the Queen seemed to think well of By my Troth my Lord said he the one is a grave Counsellor The other is a Proper young Man and so he will be as long as he lives 28. My Lord of Leicester Favourite to Queen Elizabeth was making a large Chace about Cornbury Park meaning to enclose it with Posts aud Rails and one day was casting up his charge what it would come to Mr. Goldingham a free-spoken Man stood by and said to my Lord Methinks your Lordship goeth not
unto â—nother man 84. Stilpo the Philosopher when the people flocked about him and that onâ— said to him the people come wonderinâ—â— about you as if it were to see somâ— strang beast No â—aith he it is to see man which Diogene's sought with his Laâ—â—â—orn at noon day 85. A man being very jealous of hâ—â— Wife insomuch that which way soevâ—â— she went he would be prying at her heelâ— and she being so grieved thereat in plaâ—â— terms told him That if he did not for 〈◊〉 future leave off his proceedings in this nâ—â—ture she would graâ—t such a pair of horâ—â— upon his head that should hinder him froâ— coming out at any door in the house 86. A Citizen of London passing tâ—â— streets very hastily came at last wheâ— some stop was made by Carts and foâ— Gentlemen talking together who knâ—â— him where being in some passion thatâ—â— could not suddenly pass one of themâ—â—â— this wise spake to him That others had 〈◊〉 by there was room enough only he coâ—â—â— not tell if their Horns were so wide as hisâ—â— 87. A Tinker passing Châ—â—pside wiâ—â— his usual tone Have you 〈◊〉 work for Tinker an Apprentice standing at dore opposite to a Pillory there set uâ— called the Tinker with an intent to 〈◊〉 a jest upon him and told him that should do very well if he would stop those two holes in the Pillory to which the Tinker answered That if he would put his head and ears a while in that Pillory he would bestow both brass and nail upon him to hold him in and give him his labour into the bargain 88. A young Maid having married an old Man was observed on the day of Marriage to be somewhat moody as if she had eaten a dish of Chums which one of her Bridemen observing bid herâ—â— be cheery and told her moreover that an old horse would hold out as long and as well as a young one in travel to which she answered stroking down her belly with her hand But not in this Road Sir 89. There was in Oxford a cowardly fellow that was a very good Archer he was abused by another and moaned himself to Sir Walter Râ—leigh then a Scholar and askt his advice what he should do to repair the wrong had been offered him Raleigh answered Why challenge him at a match of shooting 90. Whitewood a grave Divine was much esteemed by Queen Elizabeth but not preferred because he was against the Government of Bishops he was of a blunt Stoical nature he came one day to Queen and the Queen happened to â—â—ay to him I like thee the better Whitehead because thou livest unmarried He answered In troth Madam I like you thâ—â— worse for the same cause 91. Doctor Lawd said that some Hypocrites and seeming mortifyed men 〈◊〉 held down their heads like bulrushes were like the little Images that they place in the very bowing of the Vaults oâ— Churches that look as if they held up the Church but are but Puppets 92. A Noble Man of this Nation famously known for his mad tricks on 〈◊〉 time having taken Physick which hâ— perceiving began well to work called up his man to go for a Surgeon presently and to bring his Instruments with him thâ— Surgeon comes in with all speed tâ—â— whom my Lord Related that he founâ— himself much adicted to Women and therefore it was his will that the cause of it might be taken away and therefore commanded him forthwith to prepare hiâ—â— Instrument ready for to gueld him 〈◊〉 the Surgeon forthwith prepares accordingly and my Lord told him he would not see it done and therefore that hâ—â— should do his work the back way 〈◊〉 both parties being contented my Lord makes ready and holds up his 〈◊〉 and when he perceives the Surgeon very neer him he lets flye full in his face which made the Surgeon step back but coming presently on again Hold hold saith my Lord I will better consider of it for I feell the retentive faculty very weak at the reproach of such sharp Instruments 93. The Lord Henry Howard being Lord Privy Seal was asked by the King openly at the Table where commonly he entertained the King upon the sudden My Lord have you not a desire to see Rome My Lord Privy Seal answered Yes indeed Sir The King said and why My Lord answered because and please your Majesty it was once the Seat of the greatest Monarchy and the Seminary of the bravest men in the world amogst the Heathen and then again because it was the See of many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church most of them Martyrs The King would not give it over but said and for nothing else My Lord answered Yes and it please your Majesty for two things especially the one to see him who they say hath such a power to forgive other mens sins confess â—is own sins upon â—is knees before a Chaplain or Priest and the other is to hear Aâ—tichrist say his Crâ—eâ— 94. There was a curst Page that hâ—â— Master whipt naked and when he haâ—â— been whipt would not put on his cloath and when his Master bad him he said Take them you for they are the Hangmaâ— Fees 95. There was a Lady of the Weâ— Country that gave great entertainmeâ—â— at her house to most of the gallant Gentlemen thereabout and amongst otherâ—â— Sir Walter Raleigh was one This Lady though otherwise a stately Dame was notable and good House-wife and iâ— the morning betimes she called to one oâ— her Maids that lookt to the Swine anâ— asked are the Pigs served Sir Waltâ—â—â— Raleighs Chamber was fast by the Ladieâ— so as he heard her a little before dinneâ— the Lady came down in great state intâ— the great Chamber which was full oâ— Gentlemen and as soon as Sir Walter Raâ—â—leigh set eye upon her Madam saith he Are the Pigs served The Lady answeredâ—â— You know best whether you have had youâ— breakfast 96. Theâ—e were Fishermen drawingâ— the River at Châ—lsey Mr. Bacon camâ— thither by chance in the After-noonâ—â— and offered to buy their Dâ—augh they were willing He 〈◊〉 them what they would take They asked Thirty Shilâ—â—ings Mr Bacon offered them Ten They refused it Why then saith Mr. Baeâ—â—on I will be only a looker on They drew and catched nothing Saith Mr. Bacon are not you mad fellows now that might have had an Angel in your purse to have made merry withal and to have warmed you thorowly and now you must go home with nothing I but saith the Fishermen we had hope then to make a better gain of it Saith Mr. Bacon well my Master then I 'le tell you hope is a good Break-fast but it is a bad Supper 97. A Lady wâ—lking with Mr. Bacon in Grays-Inne Walks asked him whose that piece of ground lying next under the walls was He answered Theirs Then she asked him if those Fields beyond the Walks were theirs too He answered Yes Madam those are ours as you are ours to look on and no more
for Images answered yes For you read that thy people laid their sick in the streets that the shadow of Saint Peter might come upon them and that a shadow was an Image and the obscurest of all Images 155. Sir Edward Dyer a grave and wise Gentleman did much beâ—â—eve in Kelly the Alchymist That he did indeed the work and did make Gold insâ—much that he went into Germany where Kelly then was to inform himself fully thereof After his return he dined with my Lord of Canterbury where at that time was at the Table Dr. Prown the Physician They fell in talk of Kelly Sir Edward Dyer turning to the Archbishop said I do assure your Grace that that I shall tell you is Truth I am an eye-witness thereof And if I had not seen it I should not have believed it I saw Mr. Kelly put of the Base Mettal into the Chrysible and after it was set a little upon the fire and a very small quantity of the Medicine put in and stirred with a stick of wood It came forth in great proportion perfect Gold to the Touch to the Hammer aâ—â— to the Test. My Lord Archbishop said you had need take heed what you say Sir Edward Dyer for here is an Insidel at the Board Sir Edward Dyer said again pleasantly I should have looked for an Infidel sooner in any place then at your Graces Table What say you Dr. Brown said the Archbishop Dr. Brown answered after his blunt and hudling manner The Gentleman hath spoken enough for me Why saith the Archbishop what hath he said Marry saith Dr. Brown he said He would not have believed it except he had seen it And no more will I. 156. Doctor Ionson said That in sickness there were three things that were material the Physician the Disease and the Patients And if any two of these joyned then they get the victory For Ne Heâ—cules quidem contra duos If the Physician and the Patient joyn then down goes the Disease For then the Patient recoverâ— if the Physician and the Disease joyn that is a strong Disease and Physician mistaking the cure then down goes the Patient if the Patient and the Disease joyn then down goes the Physician for he is discredited 157. Mr. Bettenham said That vertuous men were like some herbs and spices that give not out their sweet smell till they be broken or â—rushed 158. The Lord Archbishop Laud said Tâ—at some Hypocrites and seeming mortified Men which held down their heads were like the little Images in the Vaults or Roofs of Churches which look and bow down as if they held up the Church when as they bear no weight at all 159. There was a Painter became a Physician whereupon one said to him You have done well for before the faults of your work were seen but now they are unseen 160. There was a Gentleman that came to the Tilt all in Orenge Tawâ—ey and ran very ill The next day he came again all in Green and ran worse There was one of the Lookers on asked another What is the reason that this Gentleman changeth his Colours The other answered sure because it may be reported That the Gentleman in the Green ran worst than the Gentleman in the Orenge-Tawney 161. Mr. Whitehead a grave Divine was much esteemed by Queen Elizabeth but not preferred because he was against the Government of Bishops He came one day of the Queen and the Queen chanced to say to him I like thee the better Whitehead because thâ—â— livest Vnmarried He answered again In troth Madam I like you the worse for the same cause 162. Zelim was the first of the Ottomans that did shave his Beard whereas his Predecessors wore it long One of he Bashaws askt him why he altered the Custom of his Predecessors he answered Because you Bashaws may not lead me by the bread as you did them 163. Aeneas Sylvius that was Pope Pius secundus was wont to say That the former Popes did wisely to set the Lawyers awork to debate Whether the Donation of Constantine the great to Sylvester of St. Peters Patrimony were good or valid in Law or no The better to skip over the Matter in Fact whether there was ever any such thing at all or no 164. The Lord Bishop Andrews was asked at his first coming over of the Archbishop of Spalâ—â—o whether he were a Protestant or no he answered Truly I know not But I think he is a Detestant That was of most of the Opinions of Rome 165. It was said amongst some of the grave Prelates of the Counsel of Trent in which the School-Divines bare the sway That the School men were like the Astronomers who to save the Phaenomena framed to their conceit Eccentricks and Epicycles and a wonderful Engine of Orbes Though no such things were so they to save the practise of the Church had devised a great number of strange positions 166. Aeneas Sylvious would say That the Christian Faith and Law though it had not been confirmed by Miracles yet was worthy to be received for the Honestly thereof 167. Mr. Bacon would say that it was in his Business as it is frequently in ways That the next way is commonly the foulest And that if a man will go the fairest way he must go somewhat about 168. Mr. Bettenham Reader of Grays-Inne used to say That Riches were like muck when it lay upon an heap it gave but a stench and it Odour but when it was spread upon the ground then it was cause of much Fruit. I69 Cicero married his Daughter to Dolabella that held Casars paâ—ty Pompey had married Iulia that was Caesars Daughter After when Caesar and Pompey tock Arms one against the other And Pompey had passed the Seas and Casar possessed Italy Cicero staid sâ—mewhat long in Italy but at last sayled over to joyn with Pompey Who when he came to him Pompey said you are welcome but where left you your Son-in-Law Cicero answered with your Father-in-Law 170. Vespasiâ—â— and Titus his eldest Son were both absent from Rome when the Empire was cast upon Vespasian Domitian his younger Son was at Rome who took upon him the Affairs and being of a Turbulent spirit made many changes and displaced divers Officers and Governours of Provinces sending them Successors So when Vespasian returned to Rome And Domitian came into his presence Vespasian said to him Son I looked when you would have sent me a Successor 171. Nero loved a beautiful Youth whom he used vitiously and called him Wife There was a Senator of Rome that said secretly to his Friend It was pity Nero's Father had not such a Wife 172. Galba succeeded Nero and his Age being despised there was much License and Confusion in Rome during his Empire whereupon a Senator said in full Senate It were better to live where nothing is Lawful than where all things are Lawful 173. Augustus Casar did write to Livia who was over-sensible of some ill words that had been spoken of them