in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o work_n of_o my_o grace_n grace_n grow_v very_o short_a live_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o dry_a bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v always_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o some_o what_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o figh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_v it_o and_o make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v straight_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o shall_v we_o say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v his_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o â—he_n world_n to_o come_v o_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v not_o thou_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o the_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n
for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thou_o meditat._n xiii_o in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozenness_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o but_o especial_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o soften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v than_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrosive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_v that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n i_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a from_o who_o presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o i_o and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v no_o more_o o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v &_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o while_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._n i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o proâ—e_v to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lay_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o two_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n instead_o of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_a my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o case_n there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v
that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a stench_n what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o lay_v to_o my_o god_n lord._n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o he_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o thou_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n after_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o i_o think_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_a piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_o all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n mast_n i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v nomore_o sin_v and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_a behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o for_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n than_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o by_o that_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n be_v hide_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o his_o gospel_n then_o further_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o in_o particular_a to_o paul_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n yet_o account_v all_o thing_n as_o dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n i_o have_v also_o recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o several_a godly_a person_n i_o know_v of_o the_o abundant_a sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n therefore_o lord_n though_o i_o have_v not_o at_o this_o present_a the_o power_n and_o ravish_a feeling_n of_o christ_n excellency_n yet_o assure_v myself_o all_o these_o way_n whereby_o i_o full_o do_v assent_v to_o that_o truth_n that_o it_o be_v life_n eternal_a to_o know_v thou_o and_o jesus_n christ_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o o_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o a_o full_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o in_o christ_n i_o beseech_v thou_o i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v not_o my_o undervalue_v of_o this_o knowledge_n cause_v thou_o to_o deny_v it_o i_o shall_v more_o value_v it_o if_o i_o have_v more_o of_o it_o lord_n i_o know_v if_o thou_o shall_v look_v in_o i_o and_o my_o life_n to_o see_v what_o thou_o can_v find_v to_o hinder_v the_o grant_n of_o this_o request_n thou_o may_v find_v enough_o nay_o i_o that_o know_v myself_o not_o so_o well_o as_o thou_o do_v know_v enough_o and_o enough_o nay_o i_o know_v nothing_o to_o move_v thou_o in_o myself_o except_o something_o i_o have_v have_v from_o thou_o those_o thing_n i_o have_v so_o abuse_v that_o i_o know_v they_o may_v be_v swift_a witness_n against_o i_o but_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o this_o knowledge_n of_o they_o i_o may_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o lord_n hear_v i_o alas_o lord_n my_o desire_n to_o know_v christ_n do_v even_o die_v while_o i_o be_o pray_v to_o know_v he_o alas_o lord_n such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o have_v be_v fit_a for_o none_o but_o thou_o for_o none_o in_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v with_o it_o but_o thou_o only_o it_o be_v past_o the_o skill_n of_o all_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n but_o thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o the_o power_n of_o ordinance_n and_o duty_n if_o thou_o shall_v not_o set_v in_o i_o will_v pity_v the_o soul_n of_o my_o great_a enemy_n if_o i_o shall_v see_v it_o in_o
the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n and_o thy_o free_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o fly_v unto_o lord_n lay_v my_o sin_n home_o to_o i_o to_o humble_v i_o and_o to_o break_v my_o stony_a heart_n but_o lay_v they_o not_o to_o my_o charge_n to_o condemn_v i_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o in_o thy_o word_n promise_v forgiveness_n to_o sinner_n through_o jesus_n christ_n i_o can_v no_o more_o hope_n to_o obtain_v pardon_n than_o ever_o the_o devil_n themselves_o resolution_n it_o be_v enough_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o too_o too_o much_o that_o we_o have_v be_v undo_v ourselves_o and_o provoke_a god_n thus_o long_o that_o we_o have_v as_o it_o be_v with_o all_o our_o power_n pull_v down_o the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n upon_o we_o and_o as_o it_o be_v kindle_v his_o wrath_n against_o we_o but_o he_o have_v not_o suffer_v his_o whole_a displeasure_n to_o arise_v nor_o suffer_v we_o to_o perish_v though_o we_o will_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o we_o certain_o have_v do_v have_v he_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o the_o power_n and_o malice_n of_o satan_n to_o improve_v they_o to_o our_o destruction_n be_v it_o true_a indeed_o that_o god_n say_v yet_o return_v and_o i_o will_v save_v thou_o do_v he_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n do_v he_o indeed_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o be_v it_o possible_a he_o shall_v be_v so_o gracious_a to_o forgive_v such_o and_o so_o many_o sin_n and_o of_o such_o long_a continuance_n well_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o will_v go_v unto_o he_o and_o never_o offend_v he_o more_o we_o will_v hereafter_o whensoever_o we_o be_v tempt_v unto_o sin_n say_v what_o sin_n against_o such_o love_n such_o mercy_n such_o experience_n offend_v that_o god_n that_o have_v pardon_v we_o that_o have_v do_v such_o thing_n for_o we_o and_o be_v not_o content_a with_o that_o but_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v more_o i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n but_o i_o will_v cry_v out_o unto_o god_n and_o say_v lord_n help_v i_o for_o i_o suffer_v violence_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o in_o some_o measure_n sensible_a that_o i_o pray_v not_o with_o that_o fervency_n and_o reverénce_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o shall_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n mend_v that_o i_o be_o too_o passionate_a well_o since_o god_n have_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o forgive_v so_o many_o so_o great_a so_o grievous_a sin_n that_o my_o own_o heart_n be_v not_o able_a to_o understand_v their_o vileness_n or_o number_n i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o be_v trouble_v when_o i_o hear_v my_o neighbour_n or_o underling_n or_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o fellow_n n._n use_v such_o or_o such_o taunt_a word_n against_o i_o i_o will_v not_o be_v provoke_v by_o this_o or_o that_o despite_n or_o contemptuous_a trick_n that_o he_o or_o she_o do_v use_v against_o i_o but_o rather_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o say_v or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o gain_v his_o good_a will_n and_o to_o pacify_v his_o anger_n conceive_v against_o i_o for_o certain_o his_o injury_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o god_n forgive_v i_o they_o there_o be_v a_o difference_n between_o i._o n._n and_o i_o i_o be_o resolve_v i_o will_v go_v to_o he_o and_o be_v reconcile_v this_o very_a day_n or_o if_o i_o can_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o and_o speak_v well_o of_o he_o this_o very_a day_n if_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o at_o all_o howsoever_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o now_o conclusion_n 1._o pray_v desire_v god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v thy_o detestation_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v as_o well_o hate_v sin_n as_o leave_v sin_n and_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v any_o spark_n that_o have_v be_v kindle_v by_o his_o own_o spirit_n go_v out_o in_o thou_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o beg_v riches_n i_o can_v go_v to_o heaven_n without_o they_o please_v thou_o without_o they_o but_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o grace_n and_o strength_n against_o corruption_n pardon_v of_o sin_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o these_o i_o be_o undo_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v in_o any_o measure_n affect_v with_o the_o hatred_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v in_o any_o measure_n know_v and_o consider_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o to_o drop_v into_o hell_n and_o never_o to_o have_v think_v of_o it_o before_o i_o have_v be_v there_o but_o thou_o have_v not_o deal_v so_o with_o i_o 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o one_o unworthiness_n of_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o god_n have_v exercise_v towards_o thou_o thy_o inability_n to_o think_v any_o of_o those_o good_a thought_n that_o thou_o have_v have_v etc._n etc._n as_o in_o the_o first_o meditation_n after_o all_o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat._n iv._o of_o death_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v for_o his_o assistance_n consideration_n 1._o can_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o such_o a_o one_o when_o he_o die_v do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o his_o countenance_n fail_v his_o eyestring_n break_v how_o he_o grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a at_o last_o grow_v speechless_a how_o he_o throttle_v in_o the_o throat_n how_o his_o tooth_n grate_v how_o he_o sweat_v and_o struggle_v for_o life_n and_o at_o last_o gasp_v and_o die_v consider_v that_o thus_o thou_o must_v do_v likewise_o how_o soon_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v that_o thou_o be_v well_o now_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o be_v young_a and_o strong_a now_o be_v nothing_o for_o how_o many_o be_v there_o that_o have_v be_v strong_a and_o well_o and_o as_o young_a as_o thou_o within_o a_o very_a few_o day_n after_o have_v be_v in_o their_o grave_n that_o thou_o must_v die_v be_v certain_a when_o where_o how_o none_o know_v but_o he_o that_o make_v thou_o only_o this_o be_v true_a that_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v 2._o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o end_n of_o the_o world_n as_o to_o thou_o thou_o must_v leave_v riches_n friend_n wife_n child_n house_n land_n and_o thy_o one_o body_n also_o thy_o friend_n may_v stand_v weep_v by_o but_o they_o can_v prolong_v thy_o life_n one_o minute_n 3._o consider_v that_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o die_v it_o will_v certain_o not_o repent_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n in_o prayer_n so_o much_o in_o meditation_n so_o much_o in_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v never_o know_v since_o the_o world_n begin_v that_o any_o one_o do_v then_o say_v o_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v less_o though_o these_o holy_a duty_n now_o seem_v irksome_a and_o troublesome_a to_o thou_o doubtless_o than_o they_o shall_v bring_v more_o comfort_n to_o thou_o than_o all_o those_o riches_n and_o vanity_n in_o which_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n and_o take_v so_o much_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n be_v certain_a and_o infallible_a our_o understanding_n can_v o_o that_o our_o life_n do_v not_o deny_v they_o consider_v how_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n will_v hasten_v thy_o filthy_a carcase_n out_o of_o the_o door_n they_o will_v scarce_o dare_v to_o stay_v with_o it_o alone_o but_o say_v as_o abraham_n do_v let_v i_o bury_v my_o dead_a out_o of_o my_o sight_n and_o then_o how_o seldom_o will_v they_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o thou_o or_o if_o they_o do_v what_o good_a will_v it_o do_v thou_o 5._o consider_v alas_o poor_a man_n whether_o will_v thy_o soul_n go_v then_o to_o hell_n or_o to_o heaven_n do_v thou_o know_v to_o which_o do_v thou_o not_o think_v thou_o shall_v go_v that_o way_n which_o thou_o have_v go_v all_o thy_o life_n long_o if_o thou_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o hell_n how_o can_v thou_o imagine_v that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o journey_n thou_o shall_v arrive_v at_o heaven_n 6._o consider_v what_o good_a will_v all_o thy_o wealth_n all_o thy_o pleasure_n all_o thy_o vanity_n do_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n they_o will_v all_o vanish_v as_o do_v the_o morning_n dew_n alas_o who_o know_v not_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o yet_o not_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o consider_v and_o lay_v they_o to_o heart_n and_o to_o know_v these_o truth_n &_o live_v unsuitable_o to_o they_o do_v but_o add_v to_o our_o folly_n &_o madness_n o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a say_v god_n
of_o god_n knowledge_n itself_o but_o thus_o that_o god_n be_v much_o more_o offend_v with_o we_o if_o our_o carriage_n and_o frame_n of_o heart_n be_v more_o irreverent_a and_o unholy_a in_o the_o time_n of_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n then_o at_o such_o time_n as_o we_o be_v in_o the_o work_n of_o our_o particular_a call_n 3._o we_o may_v consider_v with_o ourselves_o that_o christ_n do_v actual_o behold_v we_o especial_o in_o these_o duty_n of_o holiness_n for_o it_o be_v not_o the_o distance_n of_o place_n that_o do_v hinder_v christ_n knowledge_n and_o exact_a observe_v of_o we_o little_o do_v nathanael_n then_o think_v that_o christ_n see_v he_o under_o the_o figtree_n nathonael_n do_v not_o see_v christ_n nor_o be_v he_o corporal_o present_v then_o yet_o christ_n behold_v nathanael_n when_o he_o pray_v so_o christ_n behold_v stephen_n before_o the_o heaven_n be_v open_v and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o heaven_n be_v not_o that_o that_o thereby_o christ_n may_v be_v enable_v the_o better_a to_o behold_v stephen_n but_o that_o stephen_n may_v thereby_o be_v the_o better_o enable_v to_o see_v that_o christ_n look_v on_o he_o without_o all_o controversy_n god_n know_v and_o observe_v with_o what_o reverence_n faith_n love_n etc._n etc._n we_o pray_v for_o else_o our_o prayer_n will_v be_v in_o vain_a and_o our_o faith_n also_o vain_a for_o how_o can_v he_o give_v we_o according_a to_o our_o faith_n if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o much_o our_o faith_n be_v if_o the_o inward_a frame_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v not_o observe_v by_o he_o than_o a_o hypocrite_n that_o have_v better_a expression_n shall_v get_v more_o by_o his_o prayer_n than_o a_o true_a nathanael_n that_o have_v a_o better_a heart_n 4._o suppose_v that_o thou_o have_v live_v in_o christ_n time_n or_o suppose_v that_o christ_n be_v now_o in_o england_n consider_v with_o what_o joy_n reverence_n and_o confidence_n thou_o will_v go_v to_o he_o for_o the_o pardon_n of_o thy_o sin_n or_o for_o any_o other_o mercy_n thou_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o thou_o may_v go_v so_o to_o he_o now_o his_o distance_n from_o thou_o in_o respect_n of_o corporal_a presence_n do_v not_o make_v he_o less_o able_a to_o know_v thy_o want_n or_o hear_v thy_o prayer_n nor_o his_o be_v now_o glorify_v make_v he_o less_o willing_a to_o grant_v they_o then_o if_o it_o be_v bodily_a present_n in_o the_o room_n with_o thou_o in_o the_o form_n of_o a_o servant_n as_o he_o be_v once_o at_o jerusalem_n the_o glory_n of_o christ_n do_v not_o hinder_v his_o love_n and_o goodness_n for_o christ_n be_v the_o express_a image_n of_o his_o father_n and_o god_n attribute_n do_v not_o not_o hinder_v one_o another_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n do_v not_o set_v bound_n unto_o his_o goodness_n and_o make_v that_o finite_a nor_o do_v his_o goodness_n make_v his_o majesty_n less_o glorious_a his_o goodness_n make_v his_o majesty_n more_o amiable_a and_o his_o majesty_n make_v his_o goodness_n more_o wonderful_a so_o neither_o do_v the_o exaltation_n of_o christ_n cause_v he_o to_o abate_v any_o thing_n of_o his_o goodness_n unto_o his_o people_n but_o if_o any_o way_n his_o love_n be_v alter_v it_o be_v by_o be_v make_v more_o than_o it_o be_v and_o when_o christ_n be_v upon_o earth_n you_o must_v have_v come_v to_o he_o by_o faith_n or_o you_o can_v obtain_v no_o mercy_n from_o he_o and_o by_o faith_n though_o he_o be_v in_o heaven_n you_o may_v obtain_v any_o mercy_n now_o you_o may_v consider_v any_o one_o or_o two_o or_o more_o of_o these_o consideration_n until_o your_o heart_n be_v so_o convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v thereby_o be_v the_o better_o fit_v for_o the_o carry_v on_o the_o duty_n of_o meditation_n more_o effectual_o chap._n viii_o concern_v the_o preparatory_a prayer_n that_o be_v to_o be_v use_v before_o meditation_n the_o next_o preparatory_a consideration_n be_v prayer_n and_o it_o be_v to_o be_v perform_v in_o these_o word_n or_o to_o like_a purpose_n lord_n my_o design_n in_o this_o duty_n of_o meditation_n be_v not_o to_o be_v a_o hour_n sequester_v from_o worldly_a employment_n for_o that_o be_v to_o be_v idle_a a_o hour_n and_o to_o increase_v my_o sin_n not_o my_o grace_n but_o my_o business_n at_o this_o time_n be_v to_o be_v so_o convince_v and_o affect_v with_o those_o spiritual_a truth_n reveal_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o i_o may_v full_o resolve_v by_o thy_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o reform_v my_o life_n because_o i_o can_v neither_o understand_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n nor_o understand_v they_o be_v convince_v of_o the_o certainty_n and_o truth_n of_o they_o nay_o lord_n though_o my_o understanding_n be_v enlighten_v yet_o without_o thou_o my_o affection_n can_v be_v inflame_v i_o can_v neither_o know_v resolve_v nor_o perform_v what_o be_v good_a without_o thou_o for_o from_o thou_o come_v both_o the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n of_o thy_o good_a pleasure_n i_o beseech_v thou_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o thy_o grace_n to_o make_v conscience_n of_o perform_v this_o duty_n with_o my_o whole_a strength_n and_o not_o careless_o and_o perfunctory_o and_o lord_n do_v thou_o enlighten_v i_o with_o and_o convince_v i_o of_o thy_o truth_n and_o so_o affect_v my_o heart_n with_o the_o love_n of_o holiness_n and_o hatred_n of_o sin_n etc._n etc._n that_o i_o may_v thereby_o be_v enable_v full_o firm_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o opposition_n that_o the_o flesh_n world_n or_o devil_n can_v make_v to_o run_v the_o way_n of_o thy_o commandment_n with_o joy_n and_o with_o speed_n and_o when_o thou_o have_v wrought_v in_o i_o the_o will_v so_o to_o do_v give_v i_o also_o the_o deed_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o trust_v to_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o resolution_n but_o to_o the_o continual_a gracious_a assistance_n of_o thy_o spirit_n for_o the_o performance_n of_o those_o thing_n that_o through_o thou_o i_o shall_v resolve_v to_o do_v holy_a and_o bless_a god_n christ_n have_v send_v i_o wish_v i_o to_o come_v to_o thou_o in_o his_o name_n for_o any_o mercy_n i_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o grant_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v beg_v for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n amen_n this_o or_o a_o prayer_n to_o the_o like_a purpose_n thou_o be_v to_o put_v up_o unto_o god_n but_o it_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o thy_o whole_a heart_n for_o thou_o must_v know_v that_o it_o be_v by_o the_o strength_n which_o thou_o shall_v get_v from_o god_n by_o prayer_n whereby_o thou_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o perform_v this_o or_o any_o other_o duty_n profitable_o for_o it_o be_v he_o that_o teach_v we_o to_o profit_v he_o that_o begin_v a_o holy_a duty_n without_o god_n will_v end_v it_o without_o god_n also_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n to_o think_v that_o we_o can_v by_o our_o natural_a part_n learning_n or_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o grace_n already_o receive_v without_o god_n further_a assistance_n perform_v any_o thing_n that_o can_v please_v god_n or_o edify_v our_o own_o soul_n for_o though_o our_o mountain_n be_v make_v strong_a yet_o if_o he_o shall_v hide_v his_o face_n there_o will_v be_v trouble_n we_o may_v with_o much_o more_o sense_n say_v now_o the_o sun_n shine_v so_o bright_a and_o the_o air_n be_v so_o clear_a that_o now_o we_o can_v do_v well_o enough_o for_o a_o while_n though_o the_o sun_n be_v eclipse_v then_o to_o say_v though_o our_o heart_n be_v never_o so_o much_o inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n now_o we_o be_v so_o fill_v and_o inflame_v by_o his_o love_n we_o shall_v do_v well_o enough_o by_o our_o own_o strength_n for_o at_o the_o present_a we_o need_v not_o god_n further_a assistance_n give_v we_o but_o fuel_n matter_n to_o meditate_v of_o and_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o continue_v and_o increase_v our_o flame_n do_v not_o count_v it_o a_o burden_n but_o a_o mercy_n and_o privilege_n that_o god_n have_v necessitate_v and_o command_v thou_o always_o to_o draw_v strength_n from_o he_o chap._n ix_o several_a rule_n for_o manage_v the_o duty_n of_o consideration_n 1._o they_o must_v be_v plain_a consideration_n not_o intricate_a and_o abstruse_a for_o the_o main_a end_n of_o meditation_n be_v the_o affect_v of_o our_o heart_n and_o resorm_v of_o our_o life_n and_o not_o inform_v of_o our_o understanding_n our_o consideration_n shall_v be_v so_o plain_a that_o they_o may_v be_v without_o difficulty_n understand_v 2._o it_o must_v be_v certain_a and_o evident_a not_o controversial_a and_o doubtful_a for_o the_o end_n of_o meditation_n be_v not_o proper_o to_o increase_v our_o knowledge_n but_o to_o improve_v our_o knowledge_n 3._o much_o less_o shall_v our_o consideration_n be_v curious_a and_o nice_a speculation_n or_o if_o we_o choose_v any_o
that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o heart_n my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n have_v he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n but_o with_o worldly_a business_n or_o company_n when_o i_o do_v grieve_v for_o my_o sin_n carnal_a grief_n bear_v a_o share_n in_o it_o and_o carnal_a joy_n abolish_v it_o meditat._n vii_o to_o confess_v my_o sin_n without_o any_o sense_n of_o they_o without_o any_o hatred_n of_o they_o to_o pray_v for_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o the_o necessity_n or_o excellency_n of_o it_o to_o come_v to_o thy_o ordinance_n without_o reap_v any_o good_a from_o they_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v of_o thou_o and_o neither_o admire_v nor_o love_v thou_o nor_o long_o and_o delight_v to_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n to_o what_o purpose_n be_v these_o thing_n thou_o desire_v of_o we_o our_o heart_n and_o not_o our_o work_n word_n or_o thought_n without_o that_o ah_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n shall_v all_o be_v in_o vain_a and_o will_v thou_o cast_v i_o off_o for_o ever_o do_v thou_o hate_v my_o soul_n and_o be_o i_o a_o abomination_n unto_o thou_o must_v i_o be_v shut_v out_o for_o ever_o and_o never_o enjoy_v the_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o presence_n thou_o will_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o will_v not_o thou_o can_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o can_v not_o for_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n withme_n and_o i_o claim_v that_o covenant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o world_n beside_o thy_o covenant_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n that_o i_o can_v so_o much_o as_o have_v the_o least_o hope_n that_o will_v do_v i_o any_o good_a if_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n do_v not_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o my_o sin_n continual_o daily_o hourly_o clamor_v against_o i_o and_o accuse_v of_o i_o must_v needs_o prevail_v against_o i_o alas_o my_o hair_n be_v far_o from_o that_o spiritual_a frame_n that_o thou_o require_v for_o the_o misery_n that_o sin_n bring_v be_v more_o troublesome_a and_o heavy_a to_o i_o then_o the_o silthiness_n that_o be_v in_o fin_n thy_o blessing_n be_v more_o lovely_a in_o my_o eye_n then_o thyself_o every_o duty_n harden_v i_o in_o my_o formality_n lord_n thovart_n the_o father_n of_o mercy_n oh_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o for_o my_o case_n be_v not_o the_o common_a case_n of_o thy_o people_n but_o few_o few_o of_o many_o may_v be_v find_v who_o soul_n be_v like_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o where_o be_v there_o any_o that_o can_v say_v so_o and_o yet_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v as_o i_o be_o meditat._v viii_o my_o hope_n be_v false_a and_o my_o fear_n be_v true_a the_o deadly_a poison_n do_v not_o make_v i_o sick_a nor_o the_o excellent_a cordial_n do_v not_o comfort_v i_o i_o be_o not_o sick_a of_o sin_n nor_o do_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o body_n and_o blood_n of_o christ_n fill_v i_o with_o joy_n nay_o rather_o do_v it_o not_o fill_v i_o with_o grief_n and_o fear_n if_o my_o fear_n and_o grief_n be_v not_o carnal_a will_v they_o be_v more_o but_o my_o carnal_a joy_n eat_v out_o my_o spiritual_a grief_n and_o my_o joy_n also_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v like_o absalon_n i_o hang_v between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n i_o will_v fain_o have_v heaven_n and_o yet_o will_v not_o part_v with_o earth_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v thou_o of_o no_o more_o excellency_n in_o my_o eye_n do_v thy_o love_n to_o i_o raise_v up_o no_o more_o love_n in_o i_o then_o to_o stand_v deliberate_v what_o to_o do_v when_o thou_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o receive_v i_o to_o thy_o bosom_n can_v thou_o love_v one_o that_o love_v thou_o so_o little_a as_o i_o do_v thou_o do_v love_v i_o when_o i_o love_v thou_o not_o at_o all_o why_o sit_v thou_o so_o sad_a o_o my_o soul_n go_v cast_v thyself_o into_o the_o arm_n and_o bosom_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n there_o lie_v and_o hear_v the_o beat_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o thou_o and_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o heat_n of_o his_o love_n christ_n pour_v out_o the_o boil_a stream_n of_o his_o heartblood_n upon_o thy_o poor_a soul_n for_o his_o hear_v boil_a in_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o can_v thy_o heart_n still_o be_v freeze_v oh_o infidelity_n thou_o be_v the_o poison_n of_o my_o soul_n thou_o with_o thy_o cold_a blast_n haste_v freeze_v mâ—ne_a heart_n and_o keep_v it_o so_o lord_n give_v i_o faith_n or_o else_o all_o thy_o mercy_n be_v in_o vain_a thy_o love_n be_v and_o have_v be_v too_o great_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v lord_n thou_o that_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o christ_n oh_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o say_v to_o believe_v it_o there_o remain_v in_o my_o heart_n no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o the_o first_o principle_n of_o grace_n that_o thou_o do_v put_v into_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o do_v regenerate_v i_o all_o the_o flame_n
be_v go_v out_o that_o be_v once_o kindle_v in_o i_o all_o the_o fruit_n and_o leave_n and_o bough_n be_v strip_v from_o i_o there_o be_v all_o thing_n to_o do_v beside_o bare_a regeneration_n i_o be_o as_o a_o arm_n cut_v off_o so_o that_o it_o hang_v only_o by_o a_o little_a skin_n a_o slender_a thread_n lord_n this_o be_v my_o hope_n that_o my_o corruption_n and_o satan_n that_o have_v quench_v these_o flame_n that_o i_o have_v have_v shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v this_o spark_n but_o alas_o that_o be_v a_o poor_a comfort_n that_o this_o be_v all_o my_o comfort_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o lose_v heaven_n though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o time_n too_o great_a a_o comfort_n for_o such_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n as_o i_o be_o to_o have_v it_o it_o nothing_o to_o lose_v all_o my_o comfort_n all_o my_o duty_n all_o my_o sweet_a communion_n with_o thou_o or_o at_o least_o only_o so_o much_o of_o these_o remain_v as_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o be_v utter_o cast_v off_o for_o one_o that_o have_v fare_v delicious_o every_o day_n to_o come_v to_o have_v no_o more_o bread_n then_o to_o keep_v life_n and_o soul_n together_o though_o he_o die_v not_o yet_o he_o have_v a_o miserable_a life_n thus_o thus_o and_o far_o worse_a it_o be_v with_o i_o meditat._n ix_o i._o i_o stand_v clear_a before_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n of_o those_o many_o sin_n of_o sencelesness_n under_o judgement_n fruitlesness_n under_o ordinance_n mispend_v of_o time_n want_v of_o watchfulness_n of_o my_o one_o way_n and_o for_o the_o appear_v of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n only_o my_o sin_n of_o unkindness_n to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v enough_o to_o cause_v thou_o to_o take_v away_o thy_o mercy_n from_o i_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o my_o redemption_n of_o his_o be_v scourge_v and_o crown_v and_o nail_v of_o his_o bleed_a and_o die_v for_o i_o of_o his_o great_a love_n and_o such_o thing_n that_o if_o a_o friend_n of_o this_o world_n have_v do_v or_o suffer_v the_o thousand_o part_n so_o much_o his_o memory_n will_v have_v be_v precious_a meditat._n x._o ah_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o have_v be_v my_o god_n and_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n how_o little_o can_v my_o soul_n know_v by_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o now_o either_o do_v or_o feel_v i_o be_o fain_a to_o fetch_v evidence_n and_o sign_n from_o action_n do_v many_o year_n since_o my_o prayer_n and_o other_o holy_a duty_n be_v matter_n of_o more_o joy_n when_o i_o do_v they_o than_o now_o they_o have_v terror_n in_o they_o now_o i_o think_v i_o do_v they_o not_o as_o heretofore_o i_o have_v be_v assist_v by_o thy_o grace_n oh_o my_o lose_a joy_n and_o my_o lose_a duty_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v you_o i_o know_v not_o the_o joy_n i_o have_v former_o and_o the_o great_a zeal_n of_o my_o heart_n make_v i_o pray_v but_o now_o not_o out_o of_o feeling_n and_o zeal_n but_o for_o zeal_n and_o joy_n and_o i_o go_v from_o prayer_n with_o a_o sad_a heart_n and_o a_o hard_a heart_n my_o prayer_n come_v neither_o from_o my_o heart_n nor_o reach_n to_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o be_v thy_o motion_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o work_v thy_o own_o work_n in_o i_o why_o do_v i_o walk_v in_o this_o valley_n of_o tear_n not_o only_o without_o comfort_n but_o without_o grace_n i_o do_v even_o stand_v astonish_v at_o myself_o to_o see_v the_o vast_a difference_n between_o myself_o now_o and_o when_o i_o be_v thou_o when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o almighty_a shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o my_o god_n dwell_v in_o i_o than_o sorrow_n and_o weep_v fly_v away_o alas_o i_o now_o have_v scarce_o any_o thing_n leave_v i_o but_o carnal_a tear_n and_o one_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o grief_n and_o part_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v that_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o sometime_o indeed_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n lord_n give_v i_o faith_n o_o give_v i_o faith_n i_o feel_v a_o deal_n of_o atheism_n in_o my_o heart_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a of_o corruption_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o all_o degree_n that_o i_o can_v feel_v no_o bottom_n of_o this_o stink_a ditch_n my_o imagination_n be_v divers_a time_n a_o thoroughfare_a for_o satan_n blasphemous_a thought_n which_o my_o soul_n abhor_v i_o may_v even_o sit_v down_o and_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n in_o weep_v and_o wail_v and_o wring_v of_o my_o hand_n and_o tear_v off_o the_o hair_n of_o my_o head_n my_o sad_a soul_n may_v say_v to_o my_o god_n be_v thou_o quite_o go_v from_o i_o have_v all_o my_o hope_n of_o thou_o be_v as_o dream_n and_o empty_a shadow_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v thou_o show_v i_o so_o much_o of_o heaven_n and_o will_v thou_o make_v hell_n more_o terrible_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o shall_v thy_o sweet_a mercy_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n to_o i_o not_o only_o to_o be_v bitter_a but_o deadly_a i_o have_v cause_n i_o have_v cause_n lord_n to_o mingle_v my_o drink_n with_o my_o tear_n to_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o weep_v thou_o be_v too_o great_a a_o god_n to_o be_v dally_v withal_o and_o what_o do_v i_o else_o as_o our_o dear_a friend_n though_o we_o never_o so_o much_o delight_v in_o their_o company_n while_o they_o be_v live_v yet_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v alone_o with_o they_o they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o we_o after_o the_o soul_n have_v leave_v their_o earthly_a tabernacle_n so_o my_o prayer_n while_o they_o be_v live_v prayer_n be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o now_o my_o prayer_n be_v without_o life_n and_o my_o supplication_n be_v dead_a they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o i_o they_o look_v ghastly_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o upon_o they_o meditat._n xi_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o be_v not_o move_v with_o word_n if_o we_o have_v the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n if_o we_o can_v speak_v as_o never_o man_n speak_v if_o our_o heart_n mean_v no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v what_o will_v our_o vain_a word_n do_v i_o be_o ever_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o my_o coruption_n follow_v i_o and_o tire_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o patience_n o_o that_o i_o can_v weep_v over_o my_o prayer_n to_o see_v how_o dead_a they_o be_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o know_v not_o i_o have_v pray_v a_o thousand_o time_n for_o another_o heart_n and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o a_o stone_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n lord_n shall_v i_o cast_v away_o my_o confidence_n and_o lay_v down_o my_o weapon_n and_o put_v off_o my_o armour_n because_o my_o corruption_n be_v so_o strong_a and_o impetuous_a and_o deaden_a my_o very_a soul_n but_o alas_o what_o be_o i_o weary_a of_o not_o of_o my_o sin_n but_o of_o the_o accusation_n of_o my_o conscience_n that_o will_v not_o let_v i_o alone_o bless_v be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o live_v holy_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v entangle_v in_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o world_n bless_a saviour_n thou_o which_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o care_n and_o love_n of_o the_o world_n alas_o what_o good_a do_v my_o tear_n do_v i_o do_v thou_o bottle_n up_o such_o tear_n such_o puddle_n water_n in_o thy_o bottle_n let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o towards_o my_o poor_a soul._n it_o be_v full_a of_o sin_n but_o my_o sin_n be_v my_o sorrow_n though_o my_o sorrow_n itself_o be_v sinful_a if_o thou_o stand_v as_o a_o stranger_n to_o i_o i_o must_v give_v over_o myself_o for_o lose_v than_o i_o may_v say_v farewell_n prayer_n better_a to_o say_v farewell_o then_o to_o add_v to_o my_o former_a sin_n a_o great_a guilt_n by_o defile_v my_o prayer_n that_o be_v as_o chariot_n to_o carry_v out_o my_o soul_n into_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n what_o be_o i_o to_o stand_v against_o corruption_n or_o tempration_n i_o be_o no_o more_o able_a to_o overcome_v nay_o to_o resist_v they_o than_o to_o remove_v mountain_n i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o joy_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o hope_n and_o even_o my_o god_n if_o thy_o mercy_n be_v not_o great_a and_o what_o remain_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n to_o do_v but_o to_o sit_v down_o in_o sorrow_n and_o even_o to_o mourn_v until_o my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a unto_o death_n it_o have_v be_v better_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v one_o to_o show_v the_o way_n to_o other_o nay_o but_o oh_o my_o god_n that_o be_v best_a
such_o continual_a storm_n &_o trouble_v as_o be_v in_o i_o there_o be_v new_a corruption_n appear_v such_o as_o i_o may_v term_v they_o nothing_o so_o fit_o as_o spark_n of_o of_o the_o fire_n of_o hell_n to_o have_v one_o heart_n rise_v against_o god_n when_o the_o continual_a desire_n of_o one_o soul_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o one_o may_v be_v inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n lord_n while_o i_o be_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o serious_a thought_n of_o thou_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o admiration_n of_o thou_o and_o affiance_n in_o thou_o before_o i_o pray_v unto_o thou_o that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o prayer_n may_v be_v as_o a_o arrow_n draw_v up_o to_o the_o head_n but_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o pray_v and_o send_v up_o my_o petition_n my_o thought_n of_o thy_o glory_n and_o goodness_n slack_v and_o it_o fare_v with_o i_o oh_o my_o soul_n as_o sometime_o it_o do_v with_o one_o that_o be_v tie_v knot_n when_o one_o have_v pull_v the_o first_o very_o hard_o yet_o it_o slack_v before_o one_o can_v tie_v the_o second_o it_o i_o keep_v but_o a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o and_o do_v as_o thou_o desire_v lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o desire_v we_o always_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o thou_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v and_o if_o we_o know_v thou_o more_o how_o shoould_v we_o love_v thou_o more_o and_o if_o we_o love_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o know_v thou_o more_o for_o thou_o reveale_v thyself_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o always_o be_v with_o god_n since_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v how_o gracious_a be_v thou_o to_o invite_v such_o sinner_n as_o we_o be_v to_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o thou_o to_o wash_v our_o soul_n clean_o with_o the_o immaculate_a blood_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n alas_o lord_n i_o be_o i_o own_o enemy_n nay_o i_o see_v it_o and_o know_v it_o and_o it_o can_v be_v otherwise_o lord_n i_o be_o so_o tire_v out_o with_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n and_o almost_o weary_a of_o my_o duty_n lord_n even_o at_o this_o present_a how_o when_o my_o â—oul_n be_v so_o trouble_v that_o i_o 〈…〉_z be_v ready_a to_o weep_v there_o 〈◊〉_d a_o thought_n of_o a_o poor_a worldly_a business_n into_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o thought_n and_o sorrow_n for_o heavenly_a matter_n be_v go_v meditat._v xxiii_o o_o my_o god_n how_o cold_o without_o love_n how_o doubt_o without_o faith_n do_v i_o call_v thou_o my_o god_n lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o in_o thy_o service_n how_o very_o careless_a how_o long_a lord_n holy_a and_o true_a shall_v i_o be_v thus_o lade_v with_o corruption_n nay_o which_o be_v my_o great_a misery_n i_o be_o not_o but_o very_o little_a sensible_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n that_o make_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n bless_a lord_n i_o do_v humble_o prostrate_v my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o do_v with_o all_o the_o weak_a power_n of_o my_o soul_n importune_v the_o merit_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n i_o pray_v thou_o to_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o mercy_n when_o the_o poor_a wound_a man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n lay_v half_a dead_a and_o speechless_a in_o the_o way_n though_o he_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o his_o misery_n yet_o the_o good_a samaritan_n be_v though_o in_o his_o tongue_n do_v not_o can_v not_o call_v for_o pity_n yet_o his_o wound_n open_v their_o mouth_n wide_a and_o speak_v aloud_o to_o the_o samaritan_n though_o his_o eye_n shed_v no_o tear_n yet_o his_o heart_n weep_v blood_n at_o his_o wound_n and_o move_v compassion_n like_o to_o that_o poor_a wound_a man_n i_o be_o so_o weak_a so_o sick_a that_o i_o be_o scarce_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o desperate_a condition_n lord_n though_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o full_a of_o love_n it_o be_v full_a of_o wound_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o misery_n i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pity_v i_o not_o according_a to_o my_o prayer_n but_o according_a to_o my_o want_n lord_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n nor_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n it_o be_v the_o great_a misery_n that_o i_o have_v meditat._v xxiv_o oh_o how_o terrible_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n to_o i_o be_v it_o not_o so_o much_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n as_o holiness_n and_o indeed_o i_o find_v that_o i_o can_v never_o with_o comfort_n think_v on_o death_n but_o when_o i_o have_v live_v very_o holy_o before_o for_o what_o will_v faith_n in_o that_o case_n help_v i_o without_o holiness_n for_o faith_n without_o holiness_n be_v not_o faith_n but_o presumption_n oh_o how_o sweet_a how_o dear_a how_o excellent_a a_o thing_n be_v holiness_n oh_o how_o full_a of_o peace_n and_o joy_n be_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o be_o full_a of_o that_o and_o yet_o lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o of_o thy_o service_n how_o many_o time_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o may_v think_v of_o thou_o without_o any_o hindrance_n of_o my_o study_n do_v i_o choose_v rather_o to_o think_v of_o vanity_n o_o wean_v my_o soul_n o_o god_n from_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n with_o thyself_o dwell_v in_o i_o my_o dear_a god_n why_o do_v i_o call_v thou_o dear_a when_o i_o prefer_v every_o trifle_n before_o thou_o o_o most_o glorious_a lord_n god_n who_o ten_o thousand_o world_n can_v sufficient_o praise_v nor_o love_n which_o be_v thyself_o and_o can_v be_v no_o more_o nor_o can_v be_v no_o less_o how_o easy_a lord_n be_v it_o for_o thou_o to_o change_v my_o heart_n my_o heart_n of_o stone_n for_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n lord_n as_o long_o as_o i_o have_v this_o heart_n of_o stone_n there_o be_v no_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o with_o any_o cheerfulness_n or_o any_o constancy_n lord_n hear_v my_o prayer_n meditat._v xxv_o o_o bless_a god_n if_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o providence_n be_v such_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o saint_n faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o then_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o
to_o do_v and_o still_o by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o cease_v to_o cry_v and_o call_v upon_o he_o for_o who_o my_o soul_n i_o doubt_v not_o but_o will_v love_v if_o he_o discover_v his_o beauty_n and_o love_n unto_o i_o and_o work_v they_o on_o my_o heart_n i_o seek_v for_o one_o who_o i_o can_v tell_v who_o he_o be_v before_o i_o find_v he_o than_o i_o shall_v know_v and_o shall_v tell_v to_o all_o who_o he_o be_v and_o set_v forth_o his_o excellency_n though_o they_o shall_v as_o little_o understand_v i_o a_o i_o do_v they_o who_o declare_v the_o thing_n that_o god_n have_v wrought_v for_o they_o medit._fw-la xxxv_o there_o be_v not_o such_o a_o one_o in_o the_o world_n as_o i_o be_o that_o i_o know_v publican_n and_o harlot_n i_o justify_v they_o i_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o ordinanee_n and_o mercy_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o flame_n of_o love_n nay_o when_o thou_o lay_v on_o i_o that_o affliction_n that_o be_v now_o fresh_a bleed_v in_o my_o eye_n or_o rather_o despise_v and_o forget_v i_o shall_v have_v learn_v obedience_n by_o thing_n i_o suffer_v and_o i_o have_v do_v as_o if_o i_o be_v to_o learn_v to_o sin_n by_o they_o thou_o have_v chastise_v i_o with_o rod_n and_o i_o have_v put_v the_o sting_n of_o sin_n into_o they_o and_o have_v make_v they_o scorpion_n thou_o send_v they_o for_o antidote_n and_o i_o have_v turn_v they_o into_o poison_n lord_n teach_v i_o what_o it_o be_v wherein_o thou_o be_v so_o offend_v to_o leave_v i_o thus_o lord_n i_o believe_v thou_o have_v pardon_v i_o but_o small_a be_v my_o comfort_n when_o thou_o pardone_v sin_n but_o subdue_v it_o not_o meditat._n xxxvi_o lord_n i_o do_v so_o evident_o find_v myself_o unable_a to_o judge_v of_o truth_n or_o to_o resist_v temptation_n that_o i_o almost_o nay_o altogether_o lie_v at_o the_o mercy_n of_o every_o temptation_n and_o to_o be_v carry_v about_o with_o the_o wind_n of_o every_o vain_a doctrine_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o stand_v by_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o tell_v thou_o the_o secret_a puddle_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o be_o weary_a of_o the_o stench_n and_o filthiness_n of_o it_o there_o be_v not_o a_o prayer_n but_o they_o meet_v i_o at_o it_o and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o i_o if_o my_o heart_n be_v all_o on_o fire_n with_o thy_o love_n these_o thing_n can_v not_o be_v i_o sometime_o have_v thought_n rise_v in_o my_o heart_n that_o be_v wicked_a proud_a and_o foolish_a thought_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v offend_v that_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n yet_o have_v they_o not_o but_o those_o thought_n no_o soon_o begin_v to_o arise_v but_o i_o consider_v what_o be_o i_o that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o thy_o love_n sand_n how_o can_v i_o expect_v the_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n when_o i_o will_v not_o give_v thou_o my_o love_n but_o let_v it_o run_v waist_n upon_o the_o creature_n how_o many_o time_n do_v i_o choose_v to_o do_v anything_o rather_o than_o spend_v my_o time_n in_o meditation_n and_o prayer_n nay_o to_o do_v nothing_o and_o be_v idle_a for_o although_o thou_o love_v we_o first_o yet_o thou_o do_v not_o usual_o discover_v thy_o thought_n of_o love_n to_o a_o soul_n before_o she_o have_v make_v over_o her_o love_n and_o herself_o unto_o thou_o then_o i_o think_v thou_o can_v by_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o spirit_n bring_v in_o my_o heart_n my_o soul_n and_o my_o love_n and_o that_o usual_o ere_o thou_o do_v ravish_v the_o soul_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n this_o i_o know_v and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n know_v it_o that_o whatsoever_o wicked_a thought_n do_v arise_v in_o my_o weak_a heart_n which_o i_o can_v answer_v i_o know_v that_o all_o thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a lord_n what_o shall_v i_o give_v for_o the_o shedding_n abroad_o of_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o which_o shall_v be_v give_v for_o it_o be_v it_o at_o the_o utmost_a part_n of_o the_o world_n i_o can_v fetch_v it_o thence_o but_o lord_n the_o price_n of_o it_o already_o pay_v it_o be_v near_o unto_o thou_o even_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n o_o thou_o most_o high_a he_o have_v pay_v for_o this_o mercy_n by_o his_o blood_n long_o ago_o and_o my_o prayer_n thou_o require_v not_o as_o a_o price_n lord_n fill_v i_o with_o these_o spiritual_a supplication_n that_o i_o may_v give_v thou_o no_o rest_n nor_o take_v any_o rest_n myself_o until_o i_o have_v find_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o meditat._n xxxvii_o o_o lord_n beat_v i_o and_o drive_v i_o with_o storm_n and_o tempest_n i_o be_o come_v unto_o thou_o like_o the_o prodigal_a son_n for_o all_o but_o that_o which_o most_o of_o all_o i_o shall_v have_v a_o spiritual_a sorrow_n ragged_a and_o totter_a and_o undo_v my_o sin_n and_o misery_n be_v like_o he_o not_o my_o sorrow_n for_o i_o to_o see_v myself_o languish_v my_o grace_n daily_o grow_v weak_a my_o love_n cold_o and_o even_o almost_o to_o be_v speechless_a in_o prayer_n alas_o the_o sorrow_n that_o i_o have_v be_v rather_o bewail_v my_o misery_n then_o my_o sin_n i_o know_v not_o what_o it_o be_v lord_n but_o thou_o do_v sure_a i_o be_o my_o condition_n be_v sad_a and_o i_o be_o sad_a and_o my_o sadness_n be_v all_o the_o poor_a remain_v of_o comfort_n that_o i_o have_v and_o yet_o i_o no_o soon_o begin_v to_o take_v any_o comfort_n in_o my_o grief_n but_o i_o perceive_v so_o much_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o grief_n that_o the_o poor_a spark_n of_o comfort_n that_o i_o have_v be_v put_v out_o alas_o tear_n of_o blood_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o dry_a eye_n o_o lord_n must_v every_o trifle_n steal_v away_o my_o heart_n from_o thou_o thy_o excellency_n be_v too_o high_a for_o i_o wisdom_n be_v too_o high_a for_o fool_n o_o that_o thou_o will_v take_v i_o out_o of_o my_o own_o hand_n and_o deliver_v i_o from_o myself_o and_o howsoever_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o importunate_a enough_o now_o i_o shall_v thank_v and_o praise_v thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n if_o thou_o will_v make_v i_o thou_o thou_o have_v do_v as_o much_o to_o draw_v i_o with_o the_o cord_n of_o love_n even_o to_o wonder_v lord_n do_v thou_o snatch_v i_o as_o a_o fire_n brand_n out_o of_o the_o firâ—_n if_o thou_o shall_v stay_v till_o i_o be_o willing_a without_o thy_o make_v i_o so_o i_o be_o lose_v for_o i_o shall_v never_o part_v with_o these_o paint_a vanity_n for_o all_o the_o glory_n in_o heaven_n except_o thou_o give_v i_o the_o eye_n of_o faith_n to_o see_v it_o and_o a_o spiritual_a palate_n to_o relish_v it_o meditat._n xxxviii_o o_o lord_n will_v thou_o let_v a_o poor_a sinner_n lie_v gasp_v out_o his_o last_o breath_n at_o thy_o foot_n and_o die_v in_o thy_o arm_n i_o have_v abundance_n of_o love_n for_o the_o world_n o_o that_o thou_o have_v it_o all_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_o not_o and_o shall_v never_o be_v at_o quiet_a until_o thou_o have_v it_o nor_o will_v i_o sleep_v until_o i_o be_o in_o thy_o arm_n of_o love_n my_o dear_a god_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o my_o heart_n can_v give_v itself_o to_o who_o it_o will_v have_v i_o a_o thousand_o world_n i_o will_v give_v all_o for_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v be_v thou_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v we_o stand_v consult_v and_o contrive_v what_o to_o do_v god_n be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o than_o all_o thing_n why_o shall_v we_o weigh_v a_o talon_n of_o lead_n and_o a_o feather_n together_o to_o see_v which_o be_v heavy_a o_o lord_n my_o soul_n have_v choose_v thou_o long_o ago_o i_o have_v abundance_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v believe_v i_o be_o thou_o and_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n thou_o have_v choose_v i_o and_o i_o have_v choose_v thou_o be_v i_o shall_v be_v so_o vain_a at_o any_o time_n as_o to_o leave_v thou_o thou_o be_v the_o same_o and_o thy_o choice_n fail_v not_o thou_o lord_n which_o make_v i_o choose_v thou_o while_o i_o have_v no_o experience_n of_o thy_o love_n will_v make_v i_o continue_v my_o choice_n lord_n that_o any_o one_o shall_v choose_v hell_n beforâ—_n thou_o it_o make_v thou_o not_o to_o be_v less_o glorious_a lord_n must_v my_o blasphemy_n praise_v thou_o i_o find_v so_o much_o hell_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o it_o be_v not_o trouble_v in_o any_o proportionable_a measure_n that_o there_o be_v so_o much_o hell_n in_o it_o when_o i_o set_v apart_o a_o hour_n for_o meditation_n and_o prayer_n than_o i_o keep_v my_o heart_n somewhat_o close_o but_o at_o other_o time_n i_o be_o little_a careful_a to_o improve_v what_o i_o read_v
or_o hear_v to_o inflame_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v better_a not_o set_v a_o hour_n apart_o and_o give_v thou_o all_o the_o day_n by_o think_v always_o of_o thou_o lord_n i_o do_v now_o acknowledge_v for_o than_o i_o shall_v not_o but_o if_o thou_o shall_v leave_v i_o i_o shall_v be_v too_o much_o give_v to_o blaspheme_v thou_o nay_o blessed_a god_n let_v that_o never_o be_v lord_n it_o shall_v never_o be_v when_o i_o consider_v the_o desperate_a hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o may_v every_o morning_n expect_v that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o up_o to_o a_o reprobate_a sense_n to_o commit_v sin_n with_o greediness_n when_o i_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n i_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n within_o i_o to_o think_v with_o myself_o i_o shall_v lose_v my_o estate_n a_o little_a trouble_v i_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v such_o a_o friend_n it_o affect_v i_o more_o but_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v my_o god_n and_o become_v a_o apostate_n that_o be_v a_o hell_n unto_o i_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o thou_o as_o for_o my_o life_n that_o thou_o will_v not_o leave_v i_o and_o now_o i_o beg_v o_o forsake_v i_o not_o utter_o to_o have_v such_o a_o heart_n that_o will_v neither_o inflame_v my_o word_n nor_o be_v inflame_v by_o they_o be_v that_o which_o have_v not_o be_v so_o lord_n except_o thou_o will_v follow_v one_o that_o will_v not_o stay_v when_o thou_o call_v and_o overtake_v one_o that_o run_v from_o thou_o when_o thou_o follow_v i_o be_o lose_v well_o i_o be_o sure_a my_o froward_a and_o careless_a carriage_n will_v justify_v thy_o justice_n if_o thou_o condemn_v i_o and_o magnify_v thy_o mercy_n if_o thou_o save_v i_o meditat._n thirty-nine_o lord_n this_o day_n be_v thou_o own_o and_o by_o be_v thou_o be_v the_o more_o i_o i_o must_v now_o burn_v without_o coal_n about_o i_o the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o if_o i_o have_v be_v cold_a and_o dull_a the_o society_n exprâ—ssions_n and_o example_n of_o other_o in_o day_n set_v apart_o to_o thou_o will_v have_v inflame_v i_o now_o the_o company_n i_o have_v be_v water_n and_o snow_n woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o yet_o lord_n thou_o be_v never_o want_v thou_o send_v forth_o thy_o beam_n of_o light_n and_o heat_n if_o i_o bring_v not_o cloud_n over_o my_o own_o head_n i_o may_v have_v enough_o light_n from_o thou_o lord_n when_o will_v these_o day_n of_o sin_n be_v end_v and_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v i_o come_v into_o thy_o presence_n but_o when_o i_o be_o come_v i_o be_o silent_a and_o deaf_a neither_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o hear_v the_o sweet_a whisper_n of_o thy_o spirit_n o_o that_o i_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v myself_o unto_o thou_o or_o that_o thou_o will_v take_v these_o poor_a long_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o a_o gift_n and_o thereupon_o take_v possession_n of_o my_o soul_n my_o day_n of_o leap_v for_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v go_v and_o now_o my_o day_n of_o sorrow_n to_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n be_v come_v my_o tear_n be_v now_o my_o meat_n and_o drink_n o_o that_o i_o have_v more_o of_o they_o so_o they_o be_v more_o spiritual_a i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n but_o thou_o be_v the_o rich_a god_n my_o poor_a heart_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o speak_v why_o be_v thou_o silent_a what_o say_v thou_o be_v not_o god_n a_o good_a god_n what_o relish_n or_o sweetness_n be_v there_o in_o these_o word_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o set_v to_o thy_o seal_n lord_n to_o thy_o glory_n though_o not_o to_o my_o comfort_n be_v it_o speak_v thou_o have_v be_v a_o good_a god_n to_o i_o but_o i_o have_v no_o comfort_n from_o this_o truth_n if_o i_o never_o relish_v it_o yet_o if_o my_o heart_n will_v be_v so_o wicked_a and_o vile_a and_o base_a as_o not_o to_o acknowledge_v it_o yet_o my_o hand_n shall_v write_v that_o which_o shall_v witness_v for_o my_o god_n against_o myself_o thou_o be_v good_a patient_a and_o merciful_a unto_o i_o enough_o to_o make_v earth_n and_o heaven_n to_o wonder_v at_o thy_o goodness_n and_o my_o vileness_n ah_o my_o god_n my_o god_n must_v my_o word_n go_v beyond_o my_o thought_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o heaven_n enough_o for_o thyself_o and_o be_v thou_o not_o enough_o for_o i_o try_n o_o my_o soul_n try_v thou_o will_v never_o trust_v before_o thou_o know_v this_o by_o experience_n thou_o know_v abundant_o that_o the_o creature_n have_v tell_v thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o i_o this_o thou_o know_v by_o experience_n and_o by_o faith_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v in_o god_n well_o then_o lay_v all_o thy_o weight_n and_o strength_n upon_o he_o and_o none_o upon_o the_o creature_n hold_v upon_o he_o with_o both_o hand_n or_o else_o thou_o will_v attribute_v the_o great_a fail_v unto_o god_n for_o as_o he_o that_o stand_v upon_o never_o so_o strong_a a_o place_n if_o he_o lean_a against_o a_o rot_a wall_n he_o shall_v fall_v and_o one_o that_o be_v asleep_a when_o he_o fall_v will_v not_o know_v whether_o fail_v he_o and_o so_o if_o we_o do_v but_o lean_a to_o our_o own_o wisdom_n we_o shall_v happy_o think_v that_o god_n fail_v lord_n i_o wait_v i_o long_o for_o thy_o appearance_n thou_o be_v enough_o lord_n i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v i_o be_o undo_v without_o thou_o lord_n i_o hear_v the_o poor_a fly_n oh_o how_o it_o fly_v up_o and_o down_o now_o it_o be_v warm_v and_o revive_v with_o the_o warmth_n of_o the_o sun_n yesterday_o it_o lay_v still_o as_o dead_a sure_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n i_o shall_v be_v active_a and_o cheerful_a in_o thy_o service_n no_o marvel_v heaven_n be_v so_o full_a of_o thy_o praise_n when_o thou_o communicate_a thyself_o so_o full_o to_o they_o the_o crumb_n that_o fall_v from_o thy_o table_n be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o these_o temporal_a blessing_n be_v more_o than_o i_o can_v challenge_v yet_o lord_n i_o can_v be_v content_a with_o they_o give_v i_o thyself_o and_o it_o suffice_v for_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o share_n without_o thou_o meditat._n xl._o alas_o my_o god_n pride_n and_o despair_n divide_v my_o life_n when_o i_o find_v any_o thing_n i_o do_v in_o some_o manner_n as_o i_o shall_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v pu_v up_o and_o think_v that_o i_o do_v more_o than_o some_o other_o of_o god_n people_n and_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o my_o fail_n these_o thought_n begin_v to_o arise_v it_o be_v in_o vain_a i_o shall_v never_o overcome_v such_o corruption_n my_o sin_n do_v i_o more_o harm_n by_o discourage_v i_o then_o in_o the_o commission_n meditat._n xli_o lord_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n until_o thou_o have_v all_o our_o love_n while_o our_o heart_n be_v divide_v between_o the_o world_n and_o thou_o we_o can_v have_v no_o quiet_a natural_a conscience_n draw_v one_o way_n and_o natural_a corruption_n another_o way_n it_o be_v our_o ignorance_n that_o make_v we_o think_v that_o there_o be_v not_o enough_o in_o thou_o to_o satisfy_v all_o our_o desire_n and_o supply_v our_o want_n which_o make_v we_o join_v the_o creature_n with_o thou_o when_o lord_n when_o shall_v all_o my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o i_o be_o weary_a of_o be_v thus_o divide_v lord_n if_o i_o can_v dispose_v of_o myself_o i_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o o_o refuse_v not_o that_o gift_n which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o desire_v thou_o have_v say_v give_v i_o thy_o heart_n lord_n my_o heart_n belong_v while_o thou_o have_v it_o if_o thou_o say_v that_o i_o do_v not_o give_v myself_o free_o and_o whole_o enough_o alas_o nor_o never_o shall_v until_o thou_o take_v my_o heart_n and_o discover_v the_o secret_n of_o thy_o love_n unto_o i_o when_o thou_o do_v that_o i_o shall_v run_v after_o thou_o lord_n heâ—e's_v my_o poor_a soul_n it_o lie_v at_o thy_o foot_n grovel_v and_o gasp_v for_o life_n the_o creature_n have_v leave_v i_o and_o i_o have_v leave_v the_o creature_n and_o will_v not_o that_o it_o shall_v have_v any_o more_o of_o my_o love_n but_o it_o still_o woe_n i_o and_o follow_v i_o for_o my_o love_n unless_o thou_o overcome_v these_o strong_a corruption_n i_o shall_v never_o be_v at_o quiet_a meditat._n xlii_o sometime_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o be_v fill_v with_o joy_n so_o that_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o thou_o be_v my_o exceed_a joy_n and_o then_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v for_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o my_o joy_n be_v false_a when_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o come_v by_o it_o whether_o my_o prayer_n have_v be_v more_o servant_n and_o frequent_a of_o
late_a or_o my_o repentance_n more_o profound_a in_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o consideration_n i_o can_v hardly_o say_v but_o think_v with_o myself_o why_o shall_v i_o delay_v or_o refrain_v my_o enjoyment_n of_o god_n and_o be_o ready_a to_o say_v within_o myself_o the_o false_a joy_n in_o god_n be_v better_o than_o the_o true_a joy_n of_o the_o world_n these_o joy_n be_v too_o sweet_a to_o let_v go_v lord_n jesus_n when_o thou_o kiss_v i_o with_o the_o kiss_n of_o thy_o mouth_n i_o will_v kiss_v the_o son_n lest_o he_o be_v angry_a lord_n thou_o be_v too_o good_a for_o i_o if_o i_o may_v say_v so_o how_o can_v i_o ever_o expect_v that_o thou_o shall_v come_v near_o i_o more_o the_o poor_a love_n i_o have_v make_v i_o say_v a_o thousand_o world_n and_o a_o thousand_o heaven_n for_o my_o god_n the_o small_a beam_n of_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n be_v so_o sweet_a lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o continue_v the_o joy_n thou_o sometime_o afforde_o i_o have_v enough_o i_o need_v not_o the_o comfort_n of_o the_o world_n to_o make_v it_o up_o nor_o fear_v the_o affliction_n of_o the_o world_n though_o one_o need_v continual_a supply_n comfort_n to_o support_v one_o yet_o they_o can_v not_o spend_v they_o meditat._n xliii_o i_o will_v go_v to_o god_n say_v david_n he_o be_v my_o exceed_a joy_n a_o sweet_a say_n o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o yet_o i_o have_v a_o uninflamed_a heart_n a_o freeze_a heart_n if_o i_o leave_v all_o thing_n and_o myself_o i_o shall_v find_v thou_o but_o these_o poor_a joy_n of_o the_o world_n quench_v the_o joy_n of_o the_o spirit_n i_o shut_v out_o the_o glorious_a beam_n of_o thy_o heat_n and_o light_n and_o light_v up_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o creature_n which_o have_v neither_o heat_n nor_o light_n in_o comparison_n of_o thou_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o rejoice_v in_o thou_o my_o sin_n come_v and_o tell_v i_o that_o they_o must_v be_v mourn_v for_o first_o any_o thing_n lord_n any_o thing_n so_o that_o i_o may_v do_v what_o be_v please_v in_o thy_o sight_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o stay_v for_o my_o joy_n while_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o only_o i_o beseech_v and_o desire_v these_o three_o thing_n of_o thou_o 1._o that_o i_o may_v not_o want_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v joy_n 2._o that_o i_o may_v not_o go_v about_o to_o make_v up_o the_o want_n of_o thy_o joy_n with_o carnal_a joy_n let_v i_o not_o kindle_v a_o fire_n &_o walk_v and_o rejoice_v in_o the_o light_n and_o spark_n of_o what_o i_o have_v kindle_v etc._n etc._n 3._o that_o though_o thou_o have_v kindle_v joy_n yet_o that_o i_o may_v have_v sorrow_n that_o be_v spiritual_a lord_n how_o abundant_o good_a art_n thou_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o i_o lie_v under_o the_o weight_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o thy_o joy_n when_o i_o come_v hungry_a and_o thirsty_a to_o 〈◊〉_d to_o be_v satisfy_v with_o thy_o joy_n to_o 〈…〉_z lie_v now_o as_o a_o ship_n upon_o 〈…〉_z while_o the_o tide_n of_o thy_o 〈…〉_z and_o lift_v i_o up_o and_o carry_v i_o into_o the_o ocean_n of_o thy_o goodness_n when_o mary_n magdalen_n stand_v weep_v at_o the_o sepulchre_n thou_o do_v call_v she_o by_o her_o name_n and_o she_o forget_v all_o her_o sorrow_n she_o leave_v her_o tear_n the_o sepulchre_n and_o the_o aâ—gel_n and_o cry_v out_o rabboni_n my_o heart_n make_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v give_v the_o whole_a world_n to_o see_v jesus_n christ_n for_o i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v see_v he_o i_o shall_v lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o beg_v his_o grace_n and_o he_o will_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o be_v part_n of_o my_o weakness_n and_o want_n of_o faith_n for_o he_o hear_v my_o prayer_n as_o full_o and_o be_v as_o willing_a to_o grant_v they_o now_o he_o be_v in_o heaven_n as_o if_o he_o be_v on_o earth_n lord_n jesus_n thou_o that_o never_o do_v deny_v any_o poor_a soul_n that_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o grace_n and_o pardon_n thou_o never_o send_v they_o empty_a away_o but_o grant_v their_o request_n have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n my_o need_n and_o want_n be_v as_o many_o and_o as_o great_a as_o many_o and_o as_o great_a as_o any_o of_o they_o all_o and_o if_o my_o sense_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v not_o so_o great_a my_o misery_n be_v so_o much_o the_o great_a meditat._n xliv_o lord_n i_o perceive_v that_o spiritual_a sorrow_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n be_v whole_o thy_o work_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v as_o many_o as_o great_a and_o of_o as_o deep_a a_o dye_n as_o any_o in_o the_o world_n that_o be_v not_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o i_o be_o full_o and_o sensible_o convince_v of_o it_o that_o they_o be_v so_o and_o yet_o i_o be_o as_o senseless_a as_o if_o my_o condition_n be_v quite_o hopeless_a for_o be_v it_o not_o so_o can_v i_o possible_o be_v so_o fear_v as_o i_o be_o thou_o have_v say_v i_o will_v take_v away_o the_o stony_a heart_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v work_v who_o or_o what_o can_v hinder_v my_o corruption_n and_o my_o sin_n have_v and_o do_v harden_v my_o heart_n by_o have_v and_o commit_v they_o nor_o will_v they_o soften_v it_o by_o consider_v they_o what_o hinder_v thou_o from_o take_v away_o the_o infidelity_n and_o stoniness_n of_o my_o heart_n if_o that_o hardness_n and_o infidelity_n do_v why_o that_o be_v the_o thing_n to_o be_v cure_v if_o i_o be_v not_o sick_a i_o need_v not_o a_o physician_n lord_n i_o say_v not_o this_o to_o justify_v myself_o for_o it_o be_v thou_o of_o thy_o free_a grace_n that_o must_v justify_v i_o for_o i_o be_o lose_v and_o so_o for_o joy_n and_o comfort_n though_o i_o read_v and_o hear_v of_o the_o comfort_n that_o thou_o pour_v out_o on_o other_o i_o be_o not_o move_v nay_o those_o very_a story_n and_o say_n which_o have_v former_o inflame_v i_o now_o be_v as_o spark_n fall_v into_o the_o sea_n warm_v not_o at_o all_o alas_o when_o i_o shall_v meet_v thou_o at_o the_o last_o day_n thy_o mercy_n they_o shall_v testify_v against_o i_o when_o they_o shall_v witness_v my_o sleighting_n of_o they_o my_o fruitlesness_n under_o they_o and_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o what_o can_v i_o say_v alas_o my_o poor_a soul_n we_o be_v undo_v but_o that_o day_n be_v not_o come_v yet_o one_o hour_n more_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v will_v give_v i_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v into_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o i_o be_o afraid_a to_o meet_v thou_o at_o the_o tribunal_n of_o thy_o judgement_n if_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o earth_n methinks_v i_o can_v go_v with_o confidence_n to_o thou_o that_o thou_o will_v hear_v i_o but_o now_o thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n i_o can_v bless_v be_v they_o who_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o believe_v lord_n i_o have_v receive_v double_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n in_o respect_n of_o any_o profit_n or_o pleasure_n i_o have_v have_v by_o they_o i_o have_v have_v full_a measure_n press_v down_o and_o run_v over_o but_o alas_o my_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n be_v more_o gall_n than_o all_o the_o pleasure_n that_o i_o have_v have_v that_o have_v be_v worldly_a the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n can_v be_v recompense_v with_o all_o that_o the_o world_n have_v thy_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n indeed_o in_o respect_n of_o the_o offence_n to_o thou_o every_o prayer_n deserve_v hell_n meditat._n xlv_o lord_n i_o be_o as_o afraid_a of_o comfort_n as_o of_o terror_n for_o when_o i_o have_v comfort_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o pride_n myself_o in_o they_o and_o instead_o of_o have_v sweet_a thought_n of_o thou_o have_v high_a thought_n of_o myself_o affliction_n breed_v sorrow_n and_o comfort_n pride_n sorrow_n be_v better_a than_o pride_n my_o preach_n be_v my_o temptation_n and_o and_o my_o accuser_n if_o i_o preach_v not_o the_o strict_a way_n of_o god_n my_o negligence_n condemn_v i_o and_o if_o i_o domy_n sermon_n condemn_v i_o for_o my_o life_n be_v hell_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o publish_v something_o i_o have_v by_o the_o help_n of_o thy_o spirit_n write_v leave_v my_o life_n shall_v do_v no_o more_o harm_n by_o scandal_n than_o the_o write_n shall_v do_v good_a by_o direct_v to_o holiness_n and_o yet_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o if_o i_o publish_v and_o own_v such_o write_n they_o will_v be_v a_o strong_a engagement_n to_o live_v more_o holy_o but_o i_o have_v something_o against_o that_o also_o for_o that_o motive_n will_v in_o short_a time_n lose_v its_o strength_n such_o waxen_a wing_n will_v melt_v and_o let_v i_o fall_v to_o my_o former_a way_n and_o that_o holiness_n which_o be_v bear_v up_o with_o such_o
carnal_a motive_n be_v a_o poor_a thing_n lord_n how_o be_o i_o distract_v and_o tear_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o thought_n nay_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o go_v with_o these_o burden_n on_o my_o soul_n do_v whatever_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o i_o may_v but_o drudge_n in_o thy_o house_n though_o i_o lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o to_o be_v a_o scullion_n in_o thy_o house_n be_v better_a than_o to_o sit_v at_o the_o table_n of_o prince_n lord_n i_o be_o undo_v except_o thou_o work_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n yet_o if_o i_o be_o undo_v it_o may_v be_v before_o thou_o give_v i_o over_o and_o discover_v i_o to_o the_o world_n thou_o will_v let_v i_o do_v something_o more_o that_o i_o may_v glorify_v thou_o and_o edify_v the_o people_n nay_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v suffer_v i_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v to_o do_v much_o of_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v glory_n lord_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o upright_o yet_o o_o that_o my_o action_n and_o my_o preach_n may_v be_v such_o that_o man_n see_v and_o hear_v they_o may_v be_v stir_v up_o to_o glorify_v thou_o by_o do_v those_o thing_n sincere_o which_o ay_o it_o may_v be_v do_v out_o of_o hypocrisy_n i_o be_o sure_a too_o much_o hypocrisy_n lord_n i_o have_v beg_v for_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o may_v not_o deceive_v i_o nor_o dishonour_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v nay_o lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v i_o be_o undo_v unless_o thou_o do_v work_v mighty_o above_o all_o that_o i_o can_v speak_v or_o think_v according_a to_o that_o mighty_a power_n wherewith_o thou_o do_v raise_v the_o lord_n from_o the_o dead_a o_o that_o i_o may_v be_v so_o raise_v that_o i_o may_v return_v no_o more_o to_o corruption_n medit._fw-la xlvi_o by_o this_o i_o know_v and_o be_o sensible_a it_o be_v not_o for_o any_o man_n to_o live_v by_o his_o own_o strength_n by_o my_o know_v how_o impossible_a it_o be_v for_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o recover_v without_o thou_o if_o a_o live_a man_n can_v speak_v how_o can_v a_o condemn_a man_n live_v without_o thou_o if_o live_v bone_n can_v move_v how_o can_v dry_a bone_n live_v lord_n thou_o meet_v i_o not_o at_o duty_n thou_o speak_v not_o to_o i_o there_o thou_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o mercy_n and_o i_o answer_v not_o in_o judgement_n and_o i_o carry_v myself_o as_o a_o sleepy_a man_n that_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v awake_v what_o will_v thou_o do_v with_o i_o lord_n when_o i_o will_v neither_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o answer_v thou_o when_o thou_o speak_v o_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o grace_n and_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o mercy_n those_o sin_n i_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o commit_v thou_o have_v take_v from_o i_o the_o opportunity_n to_o commit_v it_o be_v a_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o opportunity_n but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a comfort_n not_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n a_o instance_n according_a to_o the_o rule_v give_v for_o meditate_v on_o the_o scripture_n a_o meditation_n on_o these_o word_n isa_n 66._o 2._o but_o to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v even_o to_o he_o that_o be_v poor_a and_o of_o a_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n let_v we_o serious_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o if_o a_o angel_n or_o god_n himself_o from_o heaven_n have_v speak_v these_o word_n in_o our_o hear_n as_o once_o christ_n do_v to_o paul_n when_o he_o be_v go_v to_o damascus_n sure_o i_o think_v they_o will_v have_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n less_o his_o word_n because_o it_o be_v write_v i_o read_v that_o the_o apostle_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 17_o 18_o 19_o speak_v of_o a_o voice_n that_o he_o himself_o hear_v from_o heaven_n say_v that_o he_o have_v a_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v no_o less_o sure_a that_o the_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n be_v the_o very_a word_n of_o god_n than_o those_o that_o he_o hear_v with_o his_o ear_n then_o lâ—t_v we_o not_o be_v less_o affect_v with_o these_o word_n then_o if_o we_o ourselves_o have_v hear_v god_n himself_o speak_v they_o 2._o nor_o let_v we_o think_v that_o they_o less_o concern_v we_o then_o if_o we_o have_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o tell_v we_o what_o he_o will_v have_v we_o to_o be_v &_o do_v and_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n we_o have_v hear_v he_o speak_v to_o we_o from_o heaven_n in_o particular_a to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n for_o doubtless_o god_n have_v not_o cause_v his_o word_n to_o be_v write_v in_o vain_a at_o a_o venture_n for_o whosoever_o shall_v read_v it_o but_o know_v not_o who_o they_o be_v shall_v read_v it_o but_o he_o know_v every_o particular_a person_n to_o who_o hand_n his_o word_n shall_v come_v and_o know_v his_o word_n shall_v come_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o i_o shall_v read_v these_o weary_a word_n and_o therefore_o cause_v they_o to_o be_v write_v in_o particular_a for_o my_o sake_n though_o not_o exclusive_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o his_o people_n yet_o paul_n say_v that_o he_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n do_v think_v particular_o of_o paul_n and_o so_o of_o every_o one_o else_o for_o who_o he_o die_v and_o give_v himself_o up_o as_o a_o sacrifice_n and_o ransom_n particular_o think_v on_o and_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o his_o death_n if_o a_o minister_n shall_v go_v to_o one_o that_o be_v give_v to_o swear_v and_o tell_v he_o of_o the_o heinousness_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o lay_v it_o home_o to_o his_o conscience_n in_o private_a it_o general_o do_v affect_v he_o more_o than_o to_o hear_v the_o same_o sin_n reprove_v in_o public_a yet_o he_o shall_v as_o particular_o apply_v it_o then_o though_o he_o have_v not_o in_o this_o respect_n so_o much_o reason_n to_o apply_v it_o as_o i_o have_v to_o apply_v these_o word_n to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o the_o minister_n do_v not_o nor_o can_v actual_o and_o particular_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o be_v guilty_a of_o the_o sin_n he_o reprove_v for_o he_o know_v not_o every_o particular_a person_n that_o be_v guilty_a of_o the_o sin_n he_o reprove_v as_o god_n do_v every_o one_o that_o read_v his_o word_n therefore_o let_v we_o take_v this_o and_o apply_v it_o to_o ourselves_o as_o if_o god_n have_v send_v these_o word_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n to_o we_o in_o particular_a when_o it_o be_v say_v that_o the_o scripture_n be_v write_v for_o our_o learning_n etc._n etc._n rom._n 15._o 4._o i_o conceive_v the_o meaning_n be_v not_o only_o by_o way_n of_o sufficiency_n but_o by_o way_n of_o intention_n efficacy_n &_o decree_n in_o resgect_n of_o his_o people_n that_o be_v not_o only_o that_o there_o be_v a_o sufficient_a matter_n in_o scripture_n to_o instruct_v we_o but_o that_o god_n do_v intend_v and_o decree_n that_o this_o place_n of_o scripture_n shall_v instruct_v every_o particular_a one_o of_o his_o people_n that_o be_v instruct_v by_o it_o 3._o and_o indeed_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n that_o i_o now_o read_v these_o word_n and_o do_v now_o intend_v to_o meditate_v on_o they_o be_v it_o not_o or_o certain_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v that_o i_o shall_v try_v whether_o i_o be_o such_o or_o whether_o i_o have_v such_o a_o heart_n and_o spirit_n as_o these_o word_n signify_v and_o if_o i_o be_o not_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v that_o i_o shall_v humble_v myself_o and_o be_v as_o true_o sensible_a and_o as_o much_o affect_v and_o much_o more_o than_o i_o be_o with_o those_o bodily_a infirmity_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o and_o if_o so_o be_v there_o be_v a_o receipt_n give_v i_o which_o i_o have_v a_o long_a time_n seek_v for_o and_o endeavour_v to_o get_v be_v assure_v that_o if_o i_o have_v it_o it_o will_v cure_v i_o sure_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o read_v it_o because_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tell_v other_o what_o will_v cure_v such_o a_o disease_n or_o to_o enable_v myself_o to_o discourse_n of_o that_o matter_n but_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o with_o abundance_n of_o joy_n and_o unquestionable_a resolution_n to_o take_v it_o alas_o lord_n why_o do_v i_o not_o read_v thy_o word_n so_o also_o where_o the_o unquestionable_a remedy_n of_o all_o spiritual_a disease_n be_v set_v down_o sure_o it_o be_v my_o senselesness_n of_o the_o mischief_n of_o these_o spiritual_a distemper_n that_o make_v i_o so_o little_o affect_v with_o grief_n for_o they_o and_o with_o joy_n that_o i_o have_v find_v out_o the_o remedy_n for_o they_o 4._o
above_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o because_o there_o be_v some_o small_a crumb_n of_o another_o meat_n which_o he_o have_v a_o antipathy_n against_o he_o shall_v fling_v all_o with_o violence_n and_o detestation_n away_o be_v not_o this_o enough_o to_o satisfy_v you_o that_o he_o abhor_v that_o meat_n a_o crumb_n whereof_o make_v he_o abhor_v that_o which_o he_o so_o much_o love_v suppose_v you_o shall_v see_v one_o take_v a_o watch_n who_o wheel_n and_o all_o the_o rest_n be_v cut_v out_o of_o entire_a diamond_n and_o spy_v some_o little_a small_a and_o almost_o undiscernible_a spider_n in_o it_o shall_v fling_v it_o to_o the_o ground_n with_o so_o much_o violence_n that_o he_o shall_v break_v it_o all_o to_o piece_n it_o will_v evident_o argue_v how_o much_o he_o detest_v a_o spider_n what_o excellent_a creature_n be_v angel_n and_o yet_o because_o a_o sin_n though_o but_o of_o thought_n be_v find_v in_o they_o how_o do_v it_o cast_v they_o like_o lightning_n into_o hell_n suppose_v further_o thou_o shall_v see_v the_o meek_a wise_a man_n &_o love_a father_n in_o the_o world_n take_v his_o son_n and_o scourge_v of_o he_o with_o rod_n after_o rod_n until_o that_o he_o be_v all_o of_o gore_n blood_n from_o head_n to_o foot_n and_o though_o he_o cry_v out_o and_o beg_v of_o his_o father_n to_o spare_v yet_o he_o will_v not_o spare_v he_o but_o scourge_v he_o to_o death_n will_v you_o not_o say_v that_o the_o son_n have_v do_v somewhat_o that_o the_o father_n do_v wonderful_o abhor_v have_v not_o god_n deal_v thus_o with_o christ_n do_v he_o not_o chastise_v he_o until_o he_o shed_v blood_n from_o the_o crown_n of_o the_o head_n to_o the_o sole_a of_o the_o foot_n do_v not_o christ_n die_v under_o his_o correct_a hand_n do_v not_o christ_n cry_v out_o again_o and_o again_o father_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a let_v this_o cup_n pass_v from_o i_o and_o do_v he_o not_o love_n christ_n more_o than_o any_o father_n love_v his_o son_n and_o all_o this_o because_o christ_n be_v guilty_a of_o sin_n though_o but_o as_o a_o surety_n these_o thing_n be_v not_o invention_n of_o wit_n or_o rhetoric_n but_o real_a truth_n if_o the_o dostroy_n of_o sodom_n gomorrha_n jerusalem_n angel_n and_o the_o most_o part_n of_o adam_n posterity_n and_o the_o whole_a world_n save_o eight_o person_n if_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n be_v not_o enough_o to_o satisfy_v thou_o of_o god_n hatred_n of_o sin_n than_o thou_o may_v go_v on_o to_o thy_o own_o destruction_n but_o know_v this_o that_o it_o will_v be_v bitterness_n at_o the_o last_o 2._o consider_v what_o thou_o do_v when_o thou_o sin_v every_o sinner_n do_v virtual_o put_v heaven_n and_o christ_n and_o god_n and_o his_o favour_n and_o lovingkindness_n and_o all_o his_o promise_n in_o one_o scale_n and_o that_o pleasure_n profit_n or_o honour_n which_o sin_n promise_v with_o a_o wouded_a conscience_n the_o torment_n of_o hell_n the_o wrath_n of_o god_n in_o the_o other_o scale_n and_o doubtless_o virtual_o a_o sinner_n choose_v sin_n with_o all_o these_o mischief_n before_o the_o service_n of_o god_n with_o all_o his_o mercy_n it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o sinner_n shall_v say_v rather_o than_o i_o wilâ—_n not_o satisfy_v my_o base_a lust_n i_o will_v part_v with_o god_n with_o christ_n with_o heaven_n and_o all_o i_o will_v suffer_v his_o wrath_n let_v god_n do_v his_o worst_a i_o will_v have_v my_o will_n every_o obstinate_a sinner_n do_v in_o his_o heart_n say_v thus_o and_o though_o now_o thou_o 〈◊〉_d imagine_v it_o yet_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n this_o will_v be_v make_v manifest_a to_o thou_o as_o iâ—_n it_o be_v write_v with_o a_o beam_n of_o the_o sun_n thing_n that_o now_o seem_v less_o consequent_a shall_v then_o be_v make_v evident_a a_o wicked_a wretch_n that_o see_v one_o of_o god_n people_n hungry_a naked_a imprison_v and_o do_v not_o relieve_v he_o he_o little_o think_v that_o be_v all_o one_o as_o if_o he_o have_v see_v christ_n so_o and_o not_o relieve_v he_o but_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n christ_n will_v make_v it_o manifest_a unto_o he_o 3._o consider_v how_o often_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o god_n every_o unconverted_a man_n do_v nothing_o else_o his_o plough_v be_v a_o abomination_n all_o his_o imagination_n be_v only_o evil_a and_o that_o continual_o nay_o though_o thou_o be_v one_o of_o god_n people_n yet_o david_n cry_v out_o that_o his_o sin_n be_v more_o in_o number_n than_o the_o hair_n on_o his_o head_n and_o do_v thou_o think_v thy_o sin_n be_v few_o than_o david_n how_o many_o year_n have_v thou_o live_v how_o many_o day_n hour_n minute_n thy_o sin_n be_v more_o the_o hourglass_n that_o run_v have_v not_o so_o many_o sand_n in_o it_o as_o the_o sin_n that_o thou_o commit_v in_o that_o hour_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o believe_v this_o consider_v that_o there_o be_v not_o one_o of_o thy_o thought_n word_n action_n but_o be_v pollute_v with_o abundance_n of_o sin_n if_o thou_o say_v our_o father_n since_o thou_o do_v not_o speak_v it_o with_o that_o reverence_n attention_n fervency_n faith_n love_n joy_n confidence_n admiration_n of_o his_o goodness_n and_o many_o other_o which_o we_o be_v engage_v to_o have_v when_o we_o call_v god_n by_o the_o name_n of_o father_n thou_o become_v guilty_a of_o all_o the_o contrary_a sin_n and_o many_o more_o that_o be_v not_o name_v in_o speak_v that_o one_o word_n in_o thy_o prayer_n not_o as_o thou_o ought_v fear_v not_o make_v thy_o sin_n seem_v great_a or_o more_o than_o then_o they_o be_v 4._o consider_v further_o for_o what_o trifle_a vanity_n nay_o for_o what_o base_a thing_n that_o thou_o will_v be_v ashamed_a to_o own_o before_o man_n thou_o have_v lose_v god_n lose_v thy_o own_o soul_n if_o thou_o return_v not_o and_o have_v bring_v on_o thyself_o more_o misery_n than_o the_o tongue_n of_o man_n can_v express_v or_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n concieve_v theâ—e_n be_v nothing_o thou_o â—â—â—st_n with_o thy_o eye_n or_o hear_v with_o thy_o ear_n or_o fâ—â—lest_v with_o thy_o hand_n be_v more_o certain_o true_a than_o this_o but_o alas_o bâ—â—ause_n thou_o hâ—st_v heâ—rd_v iâ—_n so_o â—ftâ—n_o and_o god_n or_o his_o â—â—finâ—te_a goodness_n and_o patience_n have_v noâ—_n make_v thou_o yet_o to_o feel_v the_o stroke_n of_o his_o justice_n and_o the_o misery_n due_a to_o sin_n thou_o will_v not_o believe_v 〈◊〉_d though_o his_o threatening_n be_v never_o so_o clear_o for_o down_o and_o with_o much_o earnestness_n 5._o consider_v against_o what_o precious_a mercy_n what_o sweet_a love_n what_o bless_a experience_n holy_a inspiration_n what_o abundance_n of_o mean_n strong_a resolution_n 〈◊〉_d promise_n clear_a light_n &_o c._n â—hou_fw-fr have_v â—inned_v affection_n 1._o pray_v to_o god_n to_o help_v to_o a_o further_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o sin_n bless_a god_n must_v all_o these_o consideration_n pass_v as_o a_o serpent_n on_o a_o stone_n without_o make_v any_o impression_n upon_o my_o soul_n lord_n give_v i_o a_o affect_a knowledge_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o sin_n and_o not_o have_v such_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v have_v but_o grant_v that_o i_o may_v esteem_v of_o sin_n as_o thou_o esteem_v it_o 2._o talk_v with_o thy_o own_o soul_n about_o this_o matter_n o_o my_o soul_n be_v these_o consideration_n true_a or_o false_a if_o thou_o think_v they_o false_a bring_v thy_o objection_n show_v wherein_o the_o error_n lie_v which_o thou_o can_v never_o do_v but_o if_o they_o be_v true_a as_o certain_o they_o be_v how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o we_o have_v make_v nothing_o of_o sin_n it_o be_v vain_a for_o we_o to_o put_v off_o the_o sense_n of_o our_o sin_n until_o it_o be_v too_o late_o 3._o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n alas_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n as_o a_o thief_n be_v ashamed_a when_o he_o be_v take_v or_o as_o a_o woman_n be_v ashamed_a when_o her_o adultery_n be_v find_v out_o by_o her_o love_a husband_n so_o &_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o i_o consider_v how_o abominable_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o how_o that_o i_o have_v commit_v my_o abomination_n even_o in_o thy_o sight_n and_o provoke_v thou_o to_o thy_o face_n and_o have_v not_o thy_o patience_n and_o mercy_n be_v infinite_a thou_o can_v never_o have_v stand_v out_o against_o so_o many_o provocation_n i_o have_v be_v in_o hell_n roar_v and_o blasphern_v long_o before_o this_o day_n and_o then_o i_o have_v be_v past_o prayer_n and_o past_a mercy_n and_o past_a pardon_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v unto_o thou_o o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n to_o excuse_v my_o sin_n i_o can_v i_o have_v nothing_o but_o
that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n these_o serious_a consideration_n of_o our_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o chief_a point_n of_o wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n 7._o consider_v if_o thou_o miscarry_v in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o concernment_n viz._n thy_o death_n thou_o be_v undo_v for_o ever_o if_o thou_o may_v live_v again_o and_o mend_v that_o error_n which_o thou_o commit_v in_o thy_o die_a ill_a then_o there_o be_v some_o hope_n but_o it_o be_v appoint_v for_o all_o man_n once_o to_o die_v and_o but_o once_o affection_n 1._o abhor_v sin_n it_o be_v you_o and_o you_o only_o that_o can_v make_v that_o hour_n miserable_a unto_o i_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n though_o we_o now_o have_v slight_a thought_n of_o such_o and_o such_o sin_n through_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o satau_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n yet_o at_o that_o hour_n if_o we_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n we_o will_v give_v they_o all_o for_o that_o which_o we_o have_v so_o little_o regard_v while_o we_o live_v viz._n that_o we_o have_v keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n and_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n 2._o despise_v the_o world_n o_o you_o vanity_n and_o foolery_n of_o the_o world_n why_o shall_v i_o spend_v my_o time_n and_o strength_n in_o follow_v after_o you_o what_o have_v you_o do_v for_o i_o or_o what_o can_v you_o do_v when_o i_o shall_v stand_v most_o in_o need_n of_o comfort_n you_o will_v not_o only_o prove_v vanity_n but_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n solomon_n have_v try_v you_o and_o he_o have_v from_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o you_o be_v but_o vanity_n and_o all_o man_n when_o they_o come_v to_o die_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o this_o truth_n shall_v i_o to_o my_o own_o destruction_n yield_v to_o your_o enticement_n why_o shall_v i_o not_o have_v the_o same_o opinion_n of_o you_o now_o as_o i_o certain_o shall_v have_v when_o i_o come_v to_o die_v 3._o humble_a thyself_o before_o god_n and_o cast_v thyself_o into_o his_o arm_n of_o love_n beg_v wisdom_n of_o he_o every_o night_n i_o be_o a_o day_n near_o my_o grave_n then_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_o near_a to_o it_o but_o lord_n make_v i_o fit_a for_o my_o grave_n and_o when_o that_o hour_n shall_v come_v let_v it_o not_o come_v as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n to_o rob_v i_o of_o my_o comfort_n and_o rather_o than_o that_o hour_n shall_v not_o be_v a_o happy_a hour_n let_v my_o whole_a life_n be_v nothing_o but_o affliction_n and_o misery_n alas_o lord_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o this_o petition_n what_o will_v thou_o give_v i_o thou_o have_v say_v o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n and_o i_o say_v lord_n teach_v i_o so_o to_o number_v my_o day_n that_o i_o may_v apply_v my_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n resolution_n o_o my_o soul_n since_o thing_n be_v thus_o let_v we_o not_o resist_v know_v truth_n shall_v we_o neglect_v these_o truth_n because_o they_o be_v plain_a if_o they_o be_v abstruse_a than_o we_o doubt_v they_o if_o they_o be_v plain_a shall_v we_o despise_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v how_o soon_o thou_o shall_v die_v then_o what_o have_v we_o to_o do_v that_o must_v be_v do_v before_o we_o die_v do_v it_o with_o all_o thy_o might_n for_o the_o night_n come_v wherein_o no_o man_n work_v my_o child_n be_v not_o yet_o sufficient_o instruct_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n i_o will_v set_v apart_o half_a a_o hour_n in_o a_o day_n to_o instruct_v they_o for_o this_o month_n or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a every_o time_n i_o miss_v there_o be_v such_o a_o neighbour_n or_o acquaintance_n who_o go_v on_o in_o wicked_a way_n and_o my_o word_n have_v so_o much_o power_n with_o he_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o bless_v i_o in_o the_o work_n and_o take_v he_o private_o and_o lay_v before_o he_o his_o danger_n and_o press_v he_o to_o holiness_n he_o may_v be_v wrought_v upon_o i_o have_v omit_v it_o hitherto_o but_o i_o be_o resolve_v sometime_o within_o a_o week_n to_o take_v some_o opportunity_n to_o speak_v serious_o and_o home_o unto_o he_o or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o so_o every_o week_n give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a until_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o he_o etc._n etc._n and_o since_o it_o so_o much_o concern_v i_o to_o be_v prepare_v for_o death_n i_o will_v every_o day_n make_v it_o one_o special_a clause_n of_o my_o prayer_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v fit_v i_o for_o that_o hour_n and_o i_o will_v lay_v up_o a_o treasury_n in_o heaven_n by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a and_o make_v myself_o friend_n of_o this_o unrighteous_a mammon_n that_o when_o i_o fail_v they_o may_v receive_v i_o into_o their_o habitation_n conclusion_n 1._o pray_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v in_o thou_o strong_a spiritual_a apprehension_n of_o death_n and_o that_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n may_v embitter_v every_o unlawful_a pleasure_n to_o thou_o say_v unto_o god_n lord_n how_o few_o day_n be_v between_o i_o and_o eternity_n whether_o of_o horror_n or_o of_o glory_n i_o be_o not_o yet_o full_o satisfy_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n that_o a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a concernment_n i_o shall_v be_v uncertain_a of_o o_o bless_a god_n let_v this_o meditation_n so_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o cease_v to_o pray_v unto_o thou_o and_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o use_v all_o holy_a mean_n for_o the_o make_n of_o my_o call_v and_o election_n sure_a for_o very_o short_o i_o shall_v be_v pass_v pray_v past_o examine_v for_o when_o thou_o shall_v summon_v i_o out_o of_o this_o life_n than_o i_o must_v come_v to_o judgement_n therefore_o those_o resolution_n that_o i_o have_v make_v of_o walk_v more_o strict_o give_v i_o grace_n to_o perform_v they_o to_o the_o utmost_a 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n o_o god_n for_o any_o inward_a motion_n of_o thy_o spirit_n that_o thou_o have_v afford_v i_o and_o for_o any_o etc._n etc._n 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o weakness_n etc._n etc._n bless_a god_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o so_o base_a so_o hard_o so_o vile_a that_o it_o always_o hinder_v i_o either_o in_o holy_a duty_n or_o from_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a but_o that_o such_o serious_a truth_n such_o powerful_a spiritual_a practical_a truth_n shall_v have_v wrought_v so_o mighty_o upon_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o from_o this_o very_a hour_n be_v deceive_v any_o more_o with_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o shall_v have_v set_v myself_o and_o make_v it_o my_o business_n to_o prepare_v for_o that_o great_a day_n etc._n etc._n after_o all_o 1._o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat._n v._o of_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v enable_v thou_o serious_o to_o think_v of_o firm_o to_o believe_v and_o strong_o to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o truth_n concern_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v how_o dreadful_a and_o terrible_a that_o day_n will_v be_v when_o the_o sea_n shall_v roar_v when_o the_o very_a power_n of_o heaven_n shall_v be_v shake_v when_o christ_n shall_v come_v with_o thousand_o of_o his_o angel_n in_o flame_a fire_n when_o a_o angel_n come_v down_o from_o heaven_n to_o roll_v away_o the_o stone_n the_o soldier_n that_o watch_v there_o become_v as_o dead_a man_n nay_o the_o holy_a man_n that_o have_v live_v have_v be_v exceed_o afraid_a at_o thing_n of_o far_o less_o terror_n than_o those_o thing_n be_v which_o will_v be_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n for_o moses_n himself_o do_v exceed_o fear_v and_o tremble_v when_o he_o hear_v and_o see_v the_o terrible_a sign_n that_o be_v at_o the_o give_v of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o bless_a apostle_n hebr._n 12._o 21._o become_v as_o a_o dead_a man_n when_o he_o see_v christ_n not_o in_o a_o flame_a fire_n as_o he_o shall_v appear_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n rev._n 1._o 17._o 2._o consider_v that_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n sin_n will_v appear_v out_o of_o measure_n sinful_a for_o than_o it_o will_v appear_v with_o all_o its_o aggravation_n for_o the_o majesty_n holiness_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n will_v appear_v in_o their_o perfect_a glory_n man_n shall_v then_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o sin_n against_o god_n our_o ignorance_n of_o god_n now_o make_v we_o senseless_a of_o the_o sinfulness_n
cause_v all_o those_o to_o be_v judge_v and_o condemn_v that_o live_v in_o they_o therefore_o i_o be_o resolve_v by_o the_o gracious_a assistance_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v never_o to_o censure_v or_o judge_v any_o one_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o frequent_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o as_o frequent_o and_o severe_o to_o judge_v myself_o as_o former_o i_o have_v use_v to_o censure_n and_o judge_v other_o and_o to_o use_v as_o much_o lenity_n mildness_n in_o judge_v and_o censure_v other_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o censure_v my_o own_o way_n and_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v ill_a of_o any_o one_o i_o will_v if_o i_o remember_v it_o when_o i_o be_o before_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n not_o only_o beg_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o rash_a judge_n but_o as_o much_o as_o in_o i_o lie_v make_v he_o some_o restitution_n by_o put_v up_o as_o many_o prayer_n for_o he_o as_o i_o have_v speak_v evil_a thing_n of_o he_o and_o let_v we_o further_o resolve_v of_o my_o soul_n and_o by_o thy_o bless_a assistance_n o_o god_n i_o be_o resolve_v and_o do_v promise_n before_o thou_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v frequent_o and_o i_o beseech_v thou_o that_o i_o may_v always_o do_v it_o before_o i_o do_v or_o speak_v any_o thing_n consider_v whether_o i_o dare_v own_o that_o action_n or_o that_o word_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n and_o if_o i_o dare_v not_o own_v it_o i_o will_v not_o dare_v to_o do_v or_o speak_v it_o and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o think_v of_o omit_v of_o any_o holy_a duty_n and_o think_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o excuse_n will_v serve_v i_o will_v bring_v it_o beforâ—_n the_o judgement_n seat_n of_o god_n by_o serious_o consider_v with_o myself_o whether_o in_o my_o conscience_n i_o think_v that_o god_n will_v take_v that_o for_o a_o sufficient_a excuse_n at_o that_o great_a day_n for_o the_o conclusion_n of_o this_o exercise_n i_o refer_v you_o to_o the_o conclusion_n of_o the_o former_a meditation_n for_o i_o be_o loath_a this_o manual_n shall_v swell_v too_o much_o meditat._n vi_o of_o hell_n be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n consideration_n 1_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o greatness_n of_o these_o torment_n certain_o if_o god_n so_o heavy_o afflict_v his_o own_o people_n as_o he_o do_v job_n heman_n and_o divers_a of_o his_o people_n who_o have_v be_v in_o disertion_n many_o year_n how_o sad_a be_v the_o expression_n of_o david_n he_o say_v he_o roar_v for_o the_o disquietness_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o how_o many_o sad_a expression_n have_v job_n that_o he_o have_v not_o time_n to_o swallow_v his_o spittle_n and_o how_o that_o he_o choose_v rather_o a_o strangle_a then_o life_n and_o many_o other_o exceed_v sad_a expression_n which_o can_v never_o have_v proceed_v from_o a_o holy_a man_n who_o be_v set_v before_o we_o as_o a_o pattern_n of_o patience_n if_o his_o affliction_n have_v not_o be_v very_o great_a and_o heman_n say_v that_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v so_o great_a that_o he_o be_v almost_o distract_v with_o they_o and_o so_o from_o his_o youth_n up_o until_o that_o time_n that_o he_o write_v that_o psalm_n psal._n 88_o if_o this_o be_v do_v to_o the_o green_a tree_n what_o shall_v be_v do_v to_o the_o dry_a and_o if_o god_n chastise_v his_o people_n with_o such_o rod_n what_o scorpion_n shall_v the_o damn_a be_v scourge_v with_o and_o if_o the_o righteous_a have_v be_v thus_o afflict_v toss_v with_o tempest_n and_o not_o comfort_v where_o shall_v the_o wicked_a and_o ungodly_a appear_v what_o shall_v the_o portion_n of_o their_o cup_n be_v even_o the_o dregs_o of_o the_o vial_n of_o god_n wrath_n for_o upon_o the_o wicked_a he_o shall_v rain_v snare_n fire_n and_o brimstone_n and_o a_o horrible_a tempest_n 2._o consider_v what_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n be_v if_o we_o do_v true_o and_o serious_o consider_v how_o much_o those_o word_n signify_v when_o our_o saviour_n say_v my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a to_o the_o death_n we_o shall_v be_v help_v to_o understand_v what_o our_o saviour_n sorrow_n be_v if_o the_o wise_a holy_a and_o patient_a man_n in_o the_o world_n who_o be_v not_o oppress_v or_o distemper_v at_o all_o by_o reason_n of_o any_o bodily_a distemper_n of_o mclancholly_a i_o say_v if_o such_o a_o man_n shall_v come_v to_o a_o intimate_a bosom_n friend_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a countenance_n shall_v fell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o ready_a to_o die_v because_o of_o the_o abundance_n of_o grief_n and_o sadness_n that_o lie_v upon_o his_o spirit_n will_v not_o this_o argue_v that_o his_o sorrow_n be_v exceed_o great_a especial_o when_o his_o friend_n never_o hear_v he_o to_o complain_v in_o all_o his_o life_n though_o the_o injury_n and_o suffering_n have_v be_v very_o great_a all_o along_o if_o he_o shall_v further_o say_v unto_o his_o friend_n i_o beseech_v you_o to_o watch_v with_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v argue_v a_o heart_n overwhelm_v with_o grief_n now_o i_o say_v for_o a_o saviour_n to_o say_v so_o to_o his_o disciple_n and_o afterward_o to_o sweat_v blood_n o_o what_o unknown_a sorrow_n do_v our_o saviour_n feel_v how_o then_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o the_o wicked_a to_o escape_v when_o god_n spare_v not_o his_o own_o son_n though_o he_o be_v but_o a_o surety_n and_o those_o sorrow_n that_o make_v he_o groan_v will_v crush_v thou_o to_o piece_n woe_n be_v to_o that_o man_n that_o be_v to_o satisfy_v the_o justice_n of_o god_n in_o his_o own_o person_n 3._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o sad_a aggravate_v concomitant_n of_o these_o torment_n every_o member_n and_o faculty_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n shall_v be_v torment_v here_o if_o our_o head_n ache_v may_v be_v our_o heart_n do_v not_o ache_v if_o we_o have_v the_o stone_n we_o have_v not_o the_o gout_n or_o if_o both_o they_o yet_o not_o some_o other_o torture_a disease_n or_o if_o the_o whole_a body_n be_v torture_v yet_o one_o may_v possess_v his_o soul_n in_o patience_n but_o to_o have_v a_o torture_a body_n and_o a_o wound_a conscience_n who_o can_v bear_v it_o beside_o all_o this_o none_o can_v help_v none_o will_v pity_v those_o that_o be_v in_o hell_n nay_o what_o be_v the_o height_n of_o misery_n that_o way_n god_n himself_o shall_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o their_o roar_n and_o torture_n laugh_v at_o their_o calamity_n when_o it_o come_v as_o desolaion_n and_o as_o a_o whirlwind_n upon_o they_o 4_o consider_v serious_o what_o eternity_n mean_v for_o ever_o ever_o ever_o to_o be_v torment_v be_v a_o overwhelm_a consideration_n to_o lie_v under_o the_o torture_n of_o the_o stone_n but_o one_o night_n how_o tedious_a be_v it_o but_o to_o be_v torment_v to_o all_o eternity_n o_o it_o be_v the_o hell_n of_o hell_n affection_n and_o resolution_n be_v aostnish_v and_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lord_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o tremble_v as_o felix_n do_v when_o thou_o consider_v these_o thing_n why_o be_v not_o thou_o more_o sensible_a of_o the_o power_n of_o his_o wrath_n do_v not_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o earth_n tremble_v and_o the_o pillar_n of_o heaven_n shake_v when_o he_o be_v angry_a and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v with_o these_o thing_n have_v thou_o full_a assurance_n of_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n when_o be_v it_o seal_v sure_o the_o very_a possibility_n that_o these_o thing_n shall_v come_v upon_o we_o shall_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o 2._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o have_v the_o key_n of_o death_n and_o of_o hell_n take_v pity_n of_o i_o and_o though_o i_o neither_o understand_v nor_o be_o sensible_a in_o any_o considerable_a measure_n either_o of_o the_o the_o misery_n of_o hell_n or_o of_o my_o own_o danger_n in_o fall_v into_o they_o lord_n how_o thou_o know_v both_o let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n earn_v towards_o i_o and_o never_o suffer_v i_o to_o fall_v into_o that_o devour_a fire_n and_o into_o those_o everlasting_a burn_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o on_o this_o side_n of_o hell_n if_o thou_o have_v cast_v i_o into_o that_o place_n of_o torment_n as_o i_o have_v daily_o provoke_v thou_o to_o do_v i_o have_v be_v past_o hope_n past_a prayer_n past_a mercy_n past_a repentance_n i_o beseech_v theâ—_n o_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v chasten_v i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v condemn_v with_o the_o world_n 3._o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o sinful_a vanity_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n o_o vain_a world_n there_o be_v nothing_o in_o thou_o but_o sin_n and_o misery_n temptation_n vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n and_o be_v thy_o vain_a
all_o eternity_n maynify_v admire_v and_o adore_v god_n that_o ever_o he_o give_v thou_o leave_v and_o grace_n to_o serve_v he_o then_o shall_v thou_o see_v and_o so_o thy_o experience_n shall_v make_v thou_o confess_v with_o joy_n and_o wonder_n that_o the_o light_a affliction_n and_o labour_n of_o love_n that_o thou_o endure_v in_o this_o life_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v compare_v to_o the_o joy_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v in_o thou_o when_o at_o any_o time_n thou_o begin_v to_o be_v weary_a look_v to_o the_o price_n of_o thy_o high_a call_n and_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o heaven_n thou_o shall_v admire_v when_o thou_o see_v how_o abundant_o thou_o be_v over_o recompense_v and_o thou_o will_v have_v just_a cause_n to_o say_v lord_n what_o be_v this_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o alas_o what_o be_v the_o thing_n that_o i_o either_o do_v or_o suffer_v in_o thy_o service_n what_o be_v my_o filthy_a rag_n that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o such_o a_o robe_n and_o crown_n of_o glory_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o we_o do_v weep_v now_o the_o time_n be_v at_o hand_n when_o god_n will_v wipe_v all_o tear_n from_o our_o eye_n o_o my_o son_n these_o thing_n can_v be_v believe_v and_o slight_v and_o understand_v and_o neglect_v if_o thou_o do_v not_o believe_v they_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n be_v they_o too_o glorious_a thing_n for_o god_n to_o bestow_v upon_o such_o wretched_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o set_v bound_n to_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o say_v hitherto_o thou_o shall_v go_v and_o no_o further_o nay_o doubtless_o since_o god_n have_v say_v that_o he_o will_v do_v that_o which_o shall_v glorify_v his_o goodness_n to_o his_o people_n the_o incredibility_n of_o it_o make_v it_o more_o credible_a but_o if_o thou_o be_v convince_v of_o the_o truth_n why_o be_v thou_o not_o affect_v with_o the_o excellency_n of_o these_o joy_n do_v thou_o not_o relish_v they_o well_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o will_v meditate_v more_o of_o these_o thing_n i_o will_v by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a lay_v up_o my_o treasure_n in_o heaven_n i_o will_v part_v with_o such_o and_o such_o vain_a delight_n for_o it_o i_o will_v spend_v more_o time_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o praise_v admire_a and_o adore_v of_o he_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a by_o frequent_a perform_v of_o these_o duty_n i_o may_v at_o last_o taste_n and_o relish_v the_o incomprehensible_a sweetness_n of_o they_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enamour_v more_o of_o heaven_n and_o because_o all_o my_o endeavour_n be_v in_o vain_a if_o the_o lord_n reveal_v not_o these_o thing_n unto_o i_o therefore_o i_o will_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v discover_v the_o riches_n oâ—_n his_o goodness_n to_o i_o i_o have_v not_o be_v careful_a enough_o nor_o sensible_a enough_o of_o sin_n of_o omission_n when_o i_o have_v have_v no_o just_a thing_n to_o take_v up_o â—y_a thought_n yet_o i_o have_v not_o think_v of_o thou_o henceforth_o when_o my_o heart_n be_v affect_v with_o thy_o excellency_n thy_o love_n thy_o mercy_n i_o will_v praise_v thou_o when_o it_o be_v not_o i_o will_v pray_v to_o thou_o that_o it_o may_v and_o for_o my_o master-sin_n my_o iniquity_n i_o will_v be_v most_o frequent_a in_o those_o duty_n that_o be_v most_o contrary_a to_o it_o i_o will_v especial_o in_o my_o read_n of_o scripture_n take_v notice_n of_o and_o write_v down_o those_o place_n and_o those_o example_n that_o be_v most_o proper_a for_o the_o cure_n i_o will_v speak_v against_o my_o iniquity_n that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v i_o may_v thereby_o the_o more_o engage_v myself_o to_o leave_v it_o meditat._n vii_o of_o the_o excellency_n of_o christ._n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o prefence_n of_o god_n 2._o desire_v of_o he_o who_o only_o can_v to_o manifest_v the_o excellency_n of_o christ_n unto_o thou_o consideration_n 1._o consider_v that_o if_o the_o holy_a man_n that_o ever_o live_v live_v near_o thou_o what_o high_a expectation_n will_v thou_o have_v of_o his_o carriage_n and_o conference_n when_o thou_o see_v his_o zeal_n and_o patience_n etc._n etc._n but_o no_o man_n live_v ever_o without_o sin_n therefore_o suppose_v a_o angel_n shall_v take_v upon_o he_o humane_a nature_n and_o live_v among_o we_o with_o what_o inflame_a expression_n and_o affection_n will_v he_o speak_v of_o god_n of_o heaven_n and_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v spiritual_a but_o alas_o his_o carriage_n his_o holiness_n his_o wisdom_n where_o as_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n for_o there_o be_v not_o any_o word_n or_o action_n that_o eyer_n christ_n speak_v or_o do_v that_o if_o all_o the_o angel_n of_o heaven_n have_v study_v and_o set_v down_o how_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v do_v or_o they_o themselves_o shall_v have_v be_v to_o have_v do_v it_o they_o can_v not_o have_v equal_v it_o nay_o even_o god_n the_o father_n have_v he_o take_v our_o nature_n he_o will_v not_o have_v speak_v or_o do_v any_o word_n or_o thinng_a which_o shall_v have_v have_v in_o respect_n of_o itself_o or_o any_o circumstance_n more_o holiness_n or_o wisdom_n than_o christ_n word_n and_o action_n have_v so_o that_o certain_o in_o this_o respect_n he_o that_o see_v christ_n see_v the_o father_n as_o he_o himself_o say_v 2._o consider_v the_o wonderful_a wisdom_n of_o christ_n certain_o he_o be_v great_a than_o solomon_n for_o though_o he_o be_v the_o humble_a man_n that_o ever_o live_v yet_o he_o himself_o say_v so_o nor_o do_v it_o any_o more_o argue_v pride_n in_o christ_n to_o say_v that_o he_o be_v wise_a than_o solomon_n than_o it_o will_v have_v argue_v in_o solomon_n that_o he_o know_v more_o than_o a_o newborn_a babe_n when_o his_o most_o malicious_a and_o cunning_a adversary_n come_v to_o ensnare_v he_o in_o his_o word_n so_o that_o they_o think_v it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o to_o say_v i_o or_o no_o to_o their_o question_n without_o extraordinary_a prejudice_n to_o himself_o yet_o he_o answer_v with_o such_o admirable_a wisdom_n and_o innocence_n that_o they_o go_v away_o ashamed_a of_o their_o folly_n nay_o when_o satan_n himself_o come_v and_o set_v upon_o he_o with_o his_o subtle_a temptation_n that_o he_o can_v possible_o find_v out_o yet_o our_o saviour_n without_o deliberation_n and_o study_n immediate_o answer_v he_o so_o full_o that_o he_o can_v not_o so_o much_o as_o reply_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o fly_v to_o another_o temptation_n and_o no_o marvel_n for_o he_o be_v the_o wisdom_n of_o the_o father_n 3._o consider_v the_o wondeful_a and_o exceed_a holiness_n of_o christ_n when_o he_o be_v in_o the_o height_n of_o all_o his_o agony_n and_o suffering_n he_o abate_v not_o any_o thing_n of_o his_o love_n and_o confidence_n in_o god_n for_o his_o suffering_n do_v not_o make_v he_o forget_v or_o diminish_v any_o thing_n no_o not_o in_o the_o least_o circumstance_n of_o his_o grace_n or_o of_o any_o thing_n that_o the_o law_n require_v at_o his_o hand_n to_o be_v so_o free_o willing_a 〈…〉_z that_o agony_n continue_v which_o be_v unspeakable_a and_o as_o the_o torment_n of_o hâ—ll_n â—f_a his_o father_n please_v be_v more_o than_o if_o those_o in_o hell_n shall_v free_o submit_v to_o endure_v the_o torment_n they_o suffer_v the_o holiness_n of_o those_o in_o heaven_n be_v not_o comparable_o so_o much_o great_a than_o the_o weak_a saint_n on_o earth_n as_o the_o holiness_n of_o christ_n be_v great_a while_o he_o live_v on_o earth_n then_o that_o of_o those_o in_o heaven_n nay_o all_o the_o saint_n on_o earth_n be_v fill_v from_o his_o fullness_n for_o he_o be_v the_o fountain_n that_o convey_v to_o his_o saint_n as_o they_o be_v able_a to_o receive_v the_o infinite_a ocean_n of_o the_o holiness_n of_o the_o godhead_n no_o marvel_v that_o the_o angel_n when_o they_o see_v his_o glory_n cry_v out_o holy_a holy_a lord_n god_n of_o sabbath_n 4._o consider_v that_o not_o withstand_v all_o these_o infinite_a excellency_n in_o christ_n he_o think_v it_o no_o robbery_n to_o be_v equal_a to_o the_o father_n yet_o how_o exceed_o do_v he_o humble_v himself_o and_o how_o gracious_a be_v he_o the_o poor_a man_n or_o woman_n in_o the_o word_n nay_o the_o great_a sinner_n that_o true_o repent_v with_o what_o love_n do_v he_o receive_v they_o he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o righteousness_n from_o who_o the_o angel_n receive_v their_o glory_n and_o yet_o he_o disdain_v not_o to_o shine_v upon_o such_o dunghill_n as_o we_o be_v it_o be_v strange_a o_o my_o soul_n to_o consider_v how_o willing_a christ_n be_v to_o please_v every_o one_o only_o provide_v it_o be_v in_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o for_o their_o hurt_n that_o desire_v they_o many_o time_n nay_o most_o time_n when_o other_o be_v with_o he_o when_o he_o