must come to the worst on 't And since you mind me of being grateful it won't look well in you not to be so to those who have made so much of you at their Castle As for your Cat-Affair I can make nothing of it only I fancy you are still haunted after the old Rate You 'll tell me more when we meet I wou'd fain have sent you a Token but I do not know what to send unless it were some little Glister-Pipes which they make here very curiously and fix most cleaverly to the Bladders But if I stay in my Place it shall go hard but I 'll get something worth the sending be it what it will If my Wife Teresa Pansa writes to me pray pay the Postage and send me the Letter for I mightily long to hear how it is with her and my House and Children So Heaven preserve you from ill-minded Inchanters and send me safe and sound out of this Government which I am much afraid of as Doctor Pedro Rezio diets me Your Worship's Servant Sancho Pansa the Governor The Secretary made up the Letter and immediately dispatch'd the Express Then those who carry'd on the Plot against Sancho combin'd together and consulted how to remove him from the Government and Sancho pass'd that Afternoon in making several Regulations fot the better Establishment of that which he imagin'd to be an Island He publish'd an Order against the Higglers and Fore-stallers of the Markets and another to encourage the bringing in of Wines from any Part whatever provided the Owners declar'd of what Growth they were that they might be rated according to their Value and Esteem and that they who shou'd adulterate Wine with Water or give it a wrong Name shou'd be punish'd with Death He lower'd the Price of all Kind of Apparel and particularly that of Shooes as thinking it exorbitant He regulated Servants Wages that were unlimited before and proportion'd 'em to the Merit of their Service He laid severe Penalties upon all those that shou'd sing or vend lewd and immoral Songs and Ballads either in the open Day or in the Dusk of the Evening and also forbid all blind People the singing about Miracles in Rhimes unless they produc'd authentick Testimonies of their Truth for it appear'd to him that most of those that were sung in such Manner were feign'd and a Disparagement to the true He appointed a particular Officer to inspect the Poor not to persecute but to examine 'em and know whether they were truly such for under Pretence of Counterfeit-Lameness and artificial Sores many canting Vagabonds impudently rob the true Poor of Charity to spend it in Riot and Drunkenness In short he made so many wholesome Ordinances that to this Day they are observ'd in that Place and call'd The Constitutions of the grand Governor Sancho Pansa CHAP. LII A Relation of the Adventures of the second disconsolate or distrest Matron otherwise call'd Donna Rodriguez CID Hamet relates that Don Quixote's Scratches being heal'd he began to think the Life he led in the Castle not suitable to the Order of Knight Errantry which he profess'd he resolv'd therefore to take Leave of the Duke and Dutchess and set forwards for Saragosa where at the approaching Tournament he hop'd to win the Armour the usual Prize at the Festivals of that Kind Accordingly as he sat at Table with the Lord and Lady of the Castle he began to acquaint 'em with his Design when behold two Women entred the great Hall clad in deep Mourning from Head to Foot One of 'em approaching Don Quixote threw her self at his Feet where lying prostrate and in a manner kissing 'em she fetch'd such deep and doleful Sighs and made such sorrowful Lamentations that all those who were by were not a little surpriz'd And tho' the Duke and the Dutchess imagin'd it to be some new Device of their Servants against Don Quixote yet perceiving with what Earnestness the Woman sigh'd and lamented they were in doubt and knew not what to think till the compassionate Champion raising her from the Ground engag'd her to lift up her Veil and discover what they least expected the Face of Donna Rodriguez the Duena of the Family and the other Mourner prov'd to be her Daughter whom the rich Farmer 's Son had deluded All those that knew 'em were in great Admiration especially the Duke and the Dutchess for though they knew her Simplicity and Indiscretion they did not believe her to be so far gone in Madness At last the sorrowful Matron addressing her self to the Duke and Dutchess May it please your Graces said she to permit me to direct my Discourse to this Knight for it concerns me to get out of an unlucky Business into which the Impudence of a treacherous Villain has brought us With that the Duke gave her Leave to say what she wou'd then applying her self to Don Quixote 't is not long said she valorous Knight since I gave your Worship an Account how basely and treacherously a graceless young Farmer had us'd my dear Child the poor undone Creature here present and you then promis'd me to stand up for her and see her righted and now I understand you are about to leave this Castle in quest of the good Adventures Heaven shall send you And therefore before you are gone no body knows whither I have this Boon to beg of your Worship that you would do so much as challenge this sturdy Clown and make him marry my Daughter according to his Promise before he was concern'd with her For as for my Lord Duke 't is a Folly to think he 'll ever see me righted for the Reason I told you in private And so Heaven preserve your Worship and still be our Defence Worthy Matron answer'd Don Quixote with a great deal of Gravity and solemn Form temperate your Tears or to speak more properly dry 'em up and spare your Sighs for I take upon me to see your Daughter's Wrongs redress'd though she had done much better had not her too great Credulity made her trust the Protestations of Lovers which generally are readily made but most uneasily perform'd Therefore with my Lord Duke's Permission I will instantly depart to find out this ungracious Wretch and as soon as he is found I will challenge him and kill him if he persists in his Obstinacy for the chief End of my Profession is to pardon the Submissive and to chastise the Stubborn to relieve the Miserable and destroy the Cruel Sir Knight said the Duke you need not give your self the Trouble of seeking the Fellow of whom that good Matron complains nor need you ask me Leave to challenge him for I already engage that he shall meet you in Person to answer it here in this Castle where safe Lists shall be set up for you both observing all the Laws of Arms that ought to be kept in Affairs of this Kind and doing each Party Justice as all Princes ought to do that admit of single
But Don Quixote as we 've said found himself in an excellent Temper and his active Soul loathing an inglorious Repose he presently was impatient to depart to perform the Duties of his adventurous Profession For he thought those Moments that were trifled away in Amusements or other Concerns only a Blank in Life and all Delays a depriving distress'd Persons and the World in general of his needed Assistance The Confidence which he repos'd in his Balsam heighten'd if possible his Resolution and thus carried away by his eager Thoughts he sadled Rozinante himself and then put the Pannel upon the Ass and his Squire upon the Pannel after he had help'd him to huddle on his Cloths That done he mounted his Steed and having spy'd a Javelin that stood in a Corner he siez'd and appropriated it to himself to supply the want of his Lance above twenty People that were in the Inn stood Spectators of all these Transactions and among the rest the Inn-keeper's Daughter from whom Don Quixote had not Power to withdraw his Eyes breathing out at every Glance a deep Sigh from the very bottom of his Heart which those who had seen him so mortify'd the Night before took to proceed from the Pain of his Bruises And now being ready to set forwards he call'd for the Master of the House and with a grave Delivery my Lord Governor cry'd he the Favours I have received in your Castle are so great and extraordinary that they bind my grateful Soul to an eternal Acknowledgment Therefore that I may be so happy as to discharge part of the Obligation think if there be e're a proud Mortal Breathing on whom you desire to be reveng'd for some Affront or other Injury and acquaint me with it now and by my Order of Knighthood which binds me to protect the Weak relieve the Oppressed and punish the Bad I promise you I 'll take effectual Care that you shall have ample Satisfaction to the utmost of your Wishes Sir Knight answer'd the Inn-keeper with as austere a Gravity I shall not need your assistance to revenge any Wrong that may have been offer'd to my Person for I wou'd have you to understand that I am able to do my self Justice when ever any Man presumes to do me Wrong Therefore all the Satisfaction I desire is That you wou'd pay your Reckoning for Horse-Meat and Man's-Meat and all your Expences in my Inn. How cry'd Don Quixote is this an Inn Yes answer'd the Host and one of the most noted and of the best Repute upon the Road. How strangly have I been mistaken then cry'd Don Quixote Upon my Honour I took it for a Castle and a considerable one too But if it be an Inn and not a Castle all I have to say is That you must excuse me from paying any Thing for I wou'd by no means break the Laws which we Knights-Errant are bound to observe Nor was it ever known that they ever paid in any Inn whatsoever For this is the least Recompence that can be allow'd 'em for the intolerable Labours they endure Day and Night Winter and Summer o' Foot and o' Horseback pinch'd with Hunger choak'd with Thirst and expos'd to all the Injuries of the Air and all the Inconveniencies in the World I 've nothing to do with all this cry'd the Inn keeper pay your Reckoning and don 't trouble me with your foolish Stories of a Cock and a Bull I can't afford to keep House at that Rate Thou art both a Fool and a Knave of an Inn-keeper replied Don Quixote And with that clapping Spurs to Rosinante and brandishing his Javelin at his Host he rode out of the Inn without any Opposition and got a good way from it without so much as once looking behind him to see whether his Squire came after him The Knight having thus gloriously Bilk'd his Lodging and Bully'd the Inn-keeper out of his Reckoning the Master being march'd off there remain'd only the Man who being as it were left in Pawn wou'd gladly have sheer'd off too but not being so lucky in giving his Host the slip he was fairly stopt for the Reckoning However he swore bloodily he would not pay a Cross for the self same Law that acquitted the Knight acquitted the Squire This put the Inn-keeper into a great Passion and made him threaten Sancho very hard telling him if he would not pay him by fair Means he wou'd have him lay'd by the Heels that Moment But Sancho swore by his Master's Knighthood he wou'd sooner part with his Life than his Mony on such an Account nor should the Squires in after-Ages ever have occasion to upbraid him with giving so ill a Precedent or breaking their Rights But as ill Luck would have it there happen'd to be in the Inn four Segovia Clothiers three Cordoua Point-makers and two Sevil Hucksters all brisk gamesome arch Fellows who agreeing all in the same Design encompass'd Sancho and pull'd him off his Ass while one of 'em went to get a Blanket Then they put the unfortunate Squire into it and carry'd him into the Back-yard where they toss'd him in the Air for several times together in the Blanket as they do Dogs on Shrove-Tuseday in Spain Poor Sancho made so grievous an Outcry all the while that his Master heard him and imagin'd those Lamentations were of some Person in Distress and consequently the occasion of some Adventure but having at last distinguish'd the Voice he made to the Inn with a broken Gallop and finding the Gates shut he rode about to see whether he might not find some other way to get in But he no sooner came to the Back-Yard-Wall which was none of the highest when he was an Eye Witness of the scurvy Trick that was put upon his Squire There he saw him ascend and descend and frolick and caper in the Air with so much Nimbleness and Agility that 't is thought the Knight himself cou'd not have forborn Laughing had he been any thing less Angry He did his best to get over the Wall but alas he was so bruis'd that he could not so much as alight from his Horse This made him fume and chafe and vent his Passion in a thousand Threats and Curses so strange and various that 't is impossible to repeat ' em But the more he Storm'd the more they Toss'd and Laughed Sancho on his side Begging and Howling and Threatning and Damning to as little purpose as his Master for 't was Weariness alone cou'd make the Tossers give over Then they charitably put an end to his high Dancing and set him upon his Ass again carefully wrapt in his Mantle But Maritornes's tender Soul made her Pity a Male Creature in such Tribulation and thinking he had danc'd and tumbled enough to be a Dry she was so generous as to help him to a Draught of Water which she purposely drew from the Well that Moment that it might be the cooler Sancho clapt the Pot to his Mouth but his Master made
Ascendant over his Reason to the endangering of his future Happiness My Lord said I let not a few transitory and imaginary Charms which cou'd never excuse such an excess of Love hurry you to your Ruin Spare your noble Father the Shame and Displeasure of seeing you marry'd to a Person so much below your Birth and do not rashly do a thing of which you may repent and that may make my Life uncomfortable I added several other Reasons to dissuade him from that hasty Match but they were all unregarded Don Ferdinand deaf to every thing but to his Desires engag'd and bound himself like an inconsiderate Lover who sacrifices all things to his Passion or rather like a Cheat who does not value a Breach of Vows When I saw him so obstinate I began to consider what I had to do I am not the first thought I to my self whom Marriage has rais'd to unhop'd for Greatness and whose Beauty alone has supply'd her want of Birth and Merit Thousands besides Don Ferdinand have marry'd meerly for Love without any regard to the inequality of Wealth or Birth The opportunity was fair and tempting and as Fortune is not always favourable I thought it an imprudent thing to let it slip Thought I to my self while she kindly offers me a Husband who assures me of an inviolable Affection why should I by an unreasonable Denial make my self an Enemy of such a Friend And then there was one thing more I apprehended it would be dangerous to drive him to Despair by an ill-tim'd Refusal Nor could I think my self safe alone in his Hands lest he should resolve to satisfy his Passion by Force which done he might think himself free from performing a Promise which I wou'd not accept and then I shou'd be left without either Honour or an Excuse for it wou'd be no easy matter to perswade my Father and the censorious World that this Noble-man was admitted into my Chamber without my Consent All these Reasons which in a Moment offer'd themselves in my Mind shook my former Resolves and Don Ferdinand's Sighs his Tears his Vows and the sacred Witnesses by which he swore together with his graceful Mien his extraordinary Accomplishments and the Love which I fancy'd I read in all his Actions help'd to bring on my Ruin as I believe they would have prevail'd with any one's Heart as free and as well guarded as was mine Then I call'd my Maid to be Witness of Don Ferdinand's Vows and sacred Engagements which he reiterated to me and confirm'd with new Oaths and solemn Promises he call'd again on Heaven and on many particular Saints to witness his Sincerity wishing a thousand Curses might fall on him in case he ever violated his Word Again he sigh'd again he wept and mov'd me more and more with fresh Marks of Affection and the treacherous Maid having left the Room the perfidious Lord presuming on my Weakness compleated his pernicious Design The Day which succeeded that unhappy Night had not yet begun to dawn when Don Ferdinand impatient to be gone made all the haste he cou'd to leave me and told me tho' not with so great a show of Affection nor so warmly as before that I might rely on his Honour and on the sincerity of his Vows and Promises and as a further Pledge he pull'd off a Ring of great Value from his Finger and put it upon mine In short he went away and my Maid who as she confess'd it to me had let him in privately took care to let him out into the Street by Break of Day while I remain'd so strangely concern'd at the thoughts of all these Passages that I cannot well tell whether I was sorry or pleas'd I was in a manner quite distracted and either forgot or had not the Heart to chide my Maid for her Treachery not knowing yet whether she had done me Good or Harm I had told Don Ferdinand before he went that seeing I was now his own he might make use of the same means to come again to see me till he found it convenient to do me the Honour of owning me publickly for his Wife But he came to me only the next Night and from that time I never cou'd see him more neither at Church nor in the Street tho' for a whole Month together I tir'd my self endeavouring to find him out being credibly inform'd he was still near us and went a Hunting almost every Day I leave you to think with what uneasiness I pass'd those tedious Hours when I perceiv'd his Neglect and had reason to suspect his Breach of Faith So unexpected a Slight which I look'd upon as the most sensible Affliction that cou'd befal me had like to have quite overwhelm'd me Then it was that I found my Maid had betray'd me I broke out into severe Complaints of her Presumption which I had smother'd till that time I exclaim'd against Don Ferdinand and exhausted my Sighs and Tears without asswaging my Sorrow What was worse I found my self oblig'd to set a guard upon my very Looks for fear my Father and Mother shou'd inquire into the cause of my Discontent and so occasion my being guilty of shameful Lies and Evasions to conceal my more shameful Disaster But at last I perceiv'd 't was in vain to dissemble and I gave a Loose to my Resentments for I cou'd no longer hold when I heard that Don Ferdinand was marry'd in a neighbouring Town to a young Lady of rich and noble Parentage and extremely handsom whose Name is Lucinda Cardenio hearing Lucinda nam'd felt his former Disorder but by good Fortune it was not so violent as it us'd to be and he only shrugg'd up his Shoulders bit his Lips knit his Brows and a little while after let fall a shower of Tears which did not hinder Dorothea from going on This News continu'd she instead of freezing up my Blood with Grief and Astonishment fill'd me with burning Rage Despair took possession of my Soul and in the transports of my Fury I was ready to run raving thro' the Streets and publish Don Ferdinand's Disloyalty tho' at the expence of my Reputation I don't know whether a remainder of Reason stop'd these violent Motions but I found my self mightily eas'd as soon as I had pitch'd upon a Design that presently came into my Head I discover'd the Cause of my Grief to a young country Fellow that serv'd my Father and desir'd him to lend me a Suit of Man's Apparel and to go along with me to the Town where I heard Don Ferdinand was The Fellow us'd the best Arguments he had to hinder me from so strange an Undertaking but finding I was inflexible in my Resolution he assur'd me he was ready to serve me Thereupon I put on this Habit which you see and taking with me some of my own Clothes together with some Gold and Jewels not knowing but I might have occasion for 'em I set out that very Night attended with that Servant and many
out of the World The Curate cou'd not forbear smiling at the old womans simplicity and desir'd the Barber to reach him the Books one by one that he might peruse the Title pages for perhaps they might find some among 'em that might not deserve to be committed to the Flames Oh by no means cryed the Niece spare none of em they all helpt some how or other to crack my Unkle's Brains I fancy we had best throw 'em all out at the Window into the Yard and lay 'em together in a heap and then set 'em o'fire or else carry 'em into the Back yard and there make a pile of 'em and burn 'em and so the smoke will offend no body The Housekeeper join'd with her so eagerly bent they were both upon the destruction of those poor Innocents But the Curate wou'd not condescend to these irregular Proceedings and resolv'd first to read at least the Title Pages of every Book The first that Mr Nicholas put into his hands was Amadis de Gaule in four Volumes There seems to be some mystery in this Books being the first taken down cry'd the Curate as soon as he had lookt upon 't for I have heard 't is the first Book of Knight-Errantry that ever was printed in Spain and the model of all the rest and therefore I am of opinion that as the first Teacher and Author of so pernicious a Sect it ought to be condemn'd to the Fire without mercy I beg a reprieve for him cry'd the Barber for I have been told 't is the best Book that has been written in that kind and therefore as the only good thing of that sort it may deserve a Pardon Well then reply'd the Curate for this time let him have it Let 's see that other which lyes next to him These said the Barber are the exploits of Esplandian the lawfully begotten Son of Amadis de Gaule Verily said the Curate the Fathers goodness shall not excuse the want of it in the Son Here good Mistress House-keeper open that Window and throw it into the Yard and let it serve as a foundation to that Pile we are to set a blazing presently She was not slack in her obedience and thus poor Don Esplandian was sent headlong into the Yard there patiently to wait the time of his fiery Tryal To the next cry'd the Curate This said the Barber is Amadis of Greece and I 'm of opinion that all those that stand on this side are of the same Family Then let 'em all be sent packing into the Yard reply'd the Curate for rather than lose the pleasure of burning Queen Antiquinestra and the Shepherd Darinel with his Eclogues and the confounded unintelligible discourses of the Author I think I shou'd burn my own Father along with 'em if I met him in the disguise of a Knight-Errant I am of your mind cry'd the Barber And I too said the Niece Nay then quoth the old Female let 'em come and down with 'em all into the Yard They were deliver'd to her accordingly and many they were so that to save herself the labour of carrying 'em down stairs she fairly sent 'em flying out at Wjndow What overgrown piece of Lumber have we here cry'd the Curate Olivante de Laura return'd the Barber The same Author wrote The Garden of Flowers and to deal ingenuously with you I cannot well tell which of the two Books has most Truth in it or to speak more properly less Lyes But this I know for certain that he shall march into the Back-Yard like a nonsensical arrogant Blockhead as he is The next cry'd the Barber is Florismart of Hircania How my Lord Florismart is he here reply'd the Curate Nay then truly he shall e'en follow the rest to the Yard in spight of his wonderful Birth and incredible Adventures for his rough dull and insipid stile deserves no better usage Come toss him into the Yard and this other too good Mistress With all my heart quoth the Governess and strait she was as good as her word Here 's the noble Don Platir cry'd the Barber 'T is an old Book reply'd the Curate and I can think of nothing in him that deserves a grain of pity Away with him without any more words and down he went accordingly Another Book was open'd and it prov'd to be The Knight of the Cross The holy Title cry'd the Curate might in some measure attone for the badness of the Book but then as the saying is The Devil lurks behind the Cross To the Flames with him Then the Barber taking down another Book cry'd here 's the Mirrour of Knighthood Oh I have the honour to know him reply'd the Curate There you shall find the Lord Rinaldo of Montaban with his Friends and Companions all of 'em greater Thieves than Cacus together with the twelve Peers of France and that faithful Historian Turpin Truly I must needs say I am only for condemning 'em to perpetual Banishment at least because their story contains something of the famous Boyardo's Invention out of which the Christian Poet Ariosto also borrow'd his subject yet if I happen to meet with him in this bad Company and speaking in any other Language than his own I ll show him no manner of favour but if he talks in his own Native Tongue I ll treat him with all the respect imaginable I have him at home in Italian said the Barber but I cannot understand him 'T is not convenient you shou'd reply d the Curate and I cou'd willingly have excus'd the good Captain who translated it that trouble of attempting to make him speak Spanish for he has depriv'd him of a great deal of his primitive Graces a misfortune incident to all those who presume to translate Verses since their utmost wit and industry can never enable 'em to preserve the native Beauties and Genius that shine in the original For this reason I am for having not only this Book but likewise all those which we shall find here treating of French affairs thrown and deposited in some dry Vault till we have maturely determin'd what ought to be done with 'em give me leave to except one Bernardo del Carpio that must be somewhere here among the rest and another call'd Roncesvalles for whenever I meet with 'em I will certainly deliver 'em up into the hands of the Secular power The Barber gave his approbation to every particular well knowing that the Curate was so good a Christian and so great a lover of truth that he would not have uttered a falsity for all the world Then opening another Volume he found it to be Palmerin de Oliva and the next to that Palmerin of England Ha! Have I found you cry'd the Curate Here take that Oliva let him be torn to pieces then burnt and his ashes scatter'd in the Air. But let Palmerin of England be preserv'd as a singular Relique of Antiquity and let such a costly box be made for him as Alexander found among the Spoils
indeed to be somewhat too long in his Eclogues but can we ever have too much of a good Thing let him be preserv'd among the best What 's the next Book The Galatea of Miguel de Cervantes reply'd the Barber That Cervantes has been my intimate acquaintance these many years cry'd the Curate and I know he has been more conversant with misfortunes than with Poetry His Book indeed has I don 't know what that looks like a good design he aims at something but concludes nothing Therefore we must stay for the Second Part which he has promis'd us perhaps he may make us amends and obtain a full Pardon which is now deny'd him for the present till that time keep him close Prisoner at your house I will quoth the Barber but see I have here three more for you The Auricana of Don Alonso de Ercilla The Austriada of Juan Ruffo a Magistrate of Cordona and the Monserrato of Christopher de Virves a Valentian Poet. These cry'd the Curate are the best Hereies we have in Spanish and may vye with the most celebrated of Italy Reserve em as the most valuable performances which Spain has to boast of in Poetry At last the Curate grew so tir'd with prying into so many Volumes that he order'd all the rest to be burnt at a venture But the Barber shew'd him one which he had open'd by chance ere the dreadful Sentence was past Truly said the Curate who saw by the Title 't was The Tears of Angelica I shou'd have wept my self had I caus'd such a Book to share the Condemnation of the rest for the Author was not only one of the best Poets in Spain but in the whole World and translated some of Ovid's Fables with extraordinary success CHAP. VII Don Quixote's second Sally in quest of Adventures WHile they were thus employ'd Don Quixote in a raving fit began to talk aloud to himself Here here valorous Knights cry'd he now 's the time that you must exert the strength of your mighty Arms for lo the Courtiers bear away the honour of the Tournament This amazing Outcry call'd away the Inquisitors from any further Examination of the Library and therefore the House-keeper and the Neice being lest to their own discretion 't is thought The Carolea and Leo of Spain with the Deeds of the Emperour written by Don Lewis D' Avila which to be sure were part of the Collection were committed to the flames unseen and unheard without any legal Tryal A Fate which they perhaps might have escap'd had the Curate been there to have weigh'd what might have been urg'd in their defence When they came into Don Quixote's Chamber they found him risen out of his Bed as mad as ever he was tearing his throat and making a heavy bustle laying about him with his Sword back-stroke and fore-stroke as broad awake as if he had never slept They ran in upon him caught him in their arms and carried him to bed again by main force where after he was somewhat quiet and settled turning himself to the Curate Certainly cry'd he my Lord Archbishop Turpin 't is a great dishonour to us who are call'd the twelve Peers to suffer the Knights of the Court to bear away the honour of the Tournament without any further opposition after we the Knights Adventurers had carried it for three days before Be pacify'd my good Friend reply'd the Curate Fortune may have yet better success in reserve for you and they who lose to day may win to morrow at present think on your health for doubtless you must needs be now extremely tir'd if not very much wounded Wounded reply'd Don Quixote No but as for being bruis'd I will not deny it for that base-born Knight Don Orlando has batter'd all my Limbs with the Trunk of an Oak out of meer Envy because he sees that I alone dare rival his Exploits But may I no more be call'd Rinaldo of Montalban if in spight of all his Enchantments I do not make him severely pay for this as soon as I can leave my Bed and therefore let my Dinner be brought in for 't is what I want most at this juncture and then let me alone to revenge this abuse Accordingly they brought him some Victuals which when he had eaten he fell asleep again and they left him all of 'em strangely amaz'd at his uncommon madness That Night the House-keeper burnt all the Books not only those in the Yard but all those that were in the House and several suffer'd in the general calamity that deserv'd to have been treasur'd up in everlasting Archives had not their fate and the remissness of the Inquisitor prevented it And thus they made good the Proverb That the good often fare the worse for the bad One of the Expedients of which the Curate and the Barber bethought themselves in order to their friend's recovery was to stop up the door of the Room where his Books lay that he might not find it nor miss them when he rose for they hop'd the effect wou'd cease when they had taken away the cause and they order'd that if he enquirâ—d about it they should tell him that a certain Enchanter had carry'd away Study Books and all Two days after Don Quixote being got up the first thing he did was to go visit his darling Books and as he cou'd not find the Study in the place where he had left it he went up and down and lookt for it in every Room Sometimes he came to the place where the door us'd to stand and then stood feeling and groping about a good while then cast his Eyes and star'd on every side without speaking a word At last after a long deliberation he thought fit to ask his House-keeper which was the way to his Study What Study answer'd the Woman according to her instructions or rather what nothing is it you look for Alas here 's neither Study nor Books in the House now for the Devil is run away with 'em all No 't was not the Devil said the Niece but a Conjurer or an Enchanter as they call 'em who since you went came hither one night mounted on a Dragon o'top of a Cloud and then alighting went into your Study where what he did he and the Devil best can tell for he went out a while after and flew out at the Roof of the House leaving it all in a smoak and when we went to see what he had done we cou'd neither find the Books nor so much as the very Study Only the House-keeper and I very well remember that as the wicked old man was going away he cry'd out aloud that out of a private grudge which he bore in his mind to the Owner of those Books he had done the House a mischief as we shou'd soon perceive And then I think he call'd himself the Sage Muniaton Not Muniaton but Freston you shou'd have said cry'd Don Quixote Truly quoth the Niece I can't tell whether 't was Freston
Knight shall pass his word of honour to go to Toboso and there present himself in my Name before the Peerless Lady Donna Dulcinea that she may dispose of him as she shall see convenient The Lady who was frighted almost out of her sences without considering what Don Quixote enjoyn'd or enquiring who the Lady Dulcinea was promis'd in her Squires behalf a punctual obedience to the Knights Commands Let him live then reply'd Don Quixote upon your word and owe to your Intercession that Pardon which I might justly deny his arrogance CHAP. II. What further befel Don Quixote with the Biscayan and of the danger which he ran among a parcel of Janguessians SAncho Panca was got up again before this not much the better for the Kicks and Thumps bestowed on his Carcass by the Monks Grooms and seeing his Master engag'd in Fight he went devoutly to Prayers beseeching Heaven to grant him Victory and that he might now win some Island in order to his being made Governor of it according to his promise At last perceiving the danger was over the Combat at an end and his Master ready to mount again he ran in all haste to help him but e're the Knight put his Foot in the stirrup Sancho fell on his Knees before him and kissing his hand An 't please your Worship cry'd he my good Lord Don Quixote I beseech you to make me Governor of the Island which you have won in this dreadful and bloody Fight for tho it were never so great I find my self able to govern it as well as the best he that ever went about to govern an Island in this World Brother Sancho reply'd Don Quixote these are no Adventures of Islands these are only Rencounters on the Road where little is to be got besides a broken Head or the loss of an Ear therefore have patience and some Adventure will offer itself which will not only enable me to prefer thee to a Government but even to something more considerable Sancho gave him a world of Thanks and having once more kiss'd his hand and the skirts of his Coat of Armor he help'd him to get upon Rozinante and then leaping on his Ass he follow'd the Hero who without taking leave of those in the Coach put on a good round Trot and rode into a Wood that was not far off Sancho made after him as fast as his Ass wou'd trot but finding that Rozinante was like to leave him behind he was forc'd to call to his Master to stay for him Don Quixote accordingly check'd his Horse and soon gave Sancho leisure to overtake him Methinks Sir cry'd the fearful Squire as soon as he came up with him it won't be amiss for us to betake our selves to some Church to get out of harms way for if that same man whom you 've fought with shou'd do otherwise than well I dare lay my life they ll get a Warrant from the Holy Brotherhood and have us taken up which if they do on my word 't will go hard with us e're we can get out of their Clutches Hold thy Tongue cry'd Don Quixote Where didst thou ever read or find that any Knight Errant was ever brought before a Judge for the Homicides which he committed I can't tell what you mean by your homilies reply'd Sancho I don t know that ever I saw any in my born days not I. But well I wot that the Law lays hold on those that go to murther one another in the Fields and as for your what d' ye call ' ems I 've nothing to say to em Then be not affraid good Sancho cry'd Don Quixote for I wou'd deliver thee out of the hands of the Chaldeans and with much more ease out of those of the Holy Brotherhood But come tell me truly dost thou believe the whole World can boast of another Knight that may pretend to rival me in valour Didst thou ever read in History that any other ever show'd more resolution to undertake more vigour to attack more breath to hold out more dexterity and activity to strike and more art and force to overthrow his Enemies Not I by my Troth reply'd Sancho for I never cou'd read nor write but that which I dare wager is that I never in my Life serv'd a bolder master than your Worship pray Heaven this same boldness mayn't bring us to what I bid you beware of all I've to put you in mind of now is that you get your Ear dress'd for you lose a deal of Blood and by good luck I have here some Lint and a little White-Salve in my Wallet How needless wou'd all this have been cry'd Don Quixote had I but bethought my self of making a small Bottle-full of the Balsam of Fierabras a single drop of which wou'd have spar'd us a great deal of Time and Medicaments What is that same Balsam an 't please you cry'd Sancho A Balsam answer'd Don Quixote of which I 've the Receipt in my Head he that has some of it may defy Death itself and dally with all manner of wounds therefore when I have made some of it and given it thee if at any time thou happen'st to see my Body cut in two by some unlucky Back-stroke as 't is common among us Knights-Errant thou hast no more to do but to take up nicely that half of me whith is fallen to the Ground and clap it exactly to the other half on the Saddle before the Blood 's congeal'd always taking care to lay it just in its proper place then thou shalt give me two Draughts of that Balsam and thou shalt immediately see me become whole and sound as an Apple If this be true quoth Sancho I 'll quit you of your Promise about the Island this minute of an hour and will have nothing of your Worship for what service I have done and am to do you but the Receipt of that same Balsam for I dare say let me go where-ever I will 't will be sure to yield me three good Reals an Ounce and thus I shall make shift to pick a pretty good livelihood out on 't But stay tho continu'd he do's the making stand your Worship in much Sir Three Quarts of it reply'd Don Quixote may be made for less than 3 Reals Body of me cry'd Sancho why don't you make some out of hand and teach me how to make it Say no more Friend Sancho return'd Don Quixote I intend to teach thee much greater secrets and design thee nobler Rewards but in the mean time dress my Ear for it pains me more than I cou'd wish Sancho then took his Lint and Ointment out of his Wallet but when Don Quixote perceiv'd the Vizor of his Helmet was broken he had like to have run stark staring mad strait laying hold on his Sword and lifting up his Eyes to Heaven By the Bowels of my Father cry'd he by my Allegiance to Dulcinea by the whole Frame of Nature I swear to lead a Life like the great Marquis
shou'd make him incur your Displeasure Ney I assure you cry'd the Curate I wou'd sooner have twitch'd off one of my Mustachoes into the Bargain I am satisfy'd Madam cr'yd Don Quixote and for your sake the flame of my just Indignation is quench'd nor will I be induc'd to engage in any Quarrel till I have fulfill'd my Promise to your Highness Only in recompense of my good Intentions I beg you will give us the Story of your Misfortunes if this will not be too great a Trouble to you and let me know who and what and how many are the Persons of whom I must have due and full Satisfaction on your behalf I am very willing to do it reply'd Dorothea but yet I fear a Story like mine consisting wholly of Afflictions and Disasters will prove but a tedious Entertainment Never fear that Madam cry'd Don Quixote Since then it must be so said Dorothea be pleas'd to lend me your Attention With that Cardenio and the Barber gather'd up to her to hear what kind of Story she had provided so soon Sancho also hung his Ears upon her Side-Saddle being no less deceiv'd in her than his Master and the Lady having seated herself well on her Mule after a hem or two and other Preparations very gracefully began her Story First Gentlemen said she You must know my Name is here she stopp'd and cou'd not call to mind the Name the Curate had given her whereupon finding her at a nonpluss he made haste to help her out 'T is not at all strange said he Madam that you shou'd be so discompos'd by your Disasters as to stumble at the very beginning of the Account you are going to give of 'em extreme Affliction often distracts the Mind to that degree and so deprives us of Memory that sometimes we for a while can scarce think on our very Names No wonder then that the Princess Micomicona Lawful Heiress to the vast Kingdom of Micomicon disorder'd with so many Misfortunes and perplex'd with so many various Thoughts for the recovery of her Crown shou'd have her Imagination and Memory so incumber'd but I hope you will now recollect your self and be able to proceed I hope so too said the Lady and I will try to go thro' with my Story without any further Hesitation Know then Gentlemen that the King my Father who was call'd Tinacrio the Sage having great Skill in the Magick Art understood by his profound knowledge in that Science that Queen Xaramilla my Mother shou'd dye before him that he himself shou'd not survive her long and I shou'd be left an Orphan But he often said that this did not so much trouble him as the foresight he had by his Speculations of my being threaten'd with great Misfortunes which wou'd be occasion'd by a certain Giant Lord of a great Island near the Confines of my Kingdom his Name Pandafilando sirnam'd of the gloomy Sight because tho' his Eye-balls are seated in their due place yet he affects to squint and look askew on purpose to fright those on whom he stares My Father I say knew that this Giant hearing of his Death wou'd one Day invade my Kingdom with a powerful Army and drive me out of my Territories without leaving me so much as the least Village for a Retreat tho' he knew withal that I might avoid that Extremity if I wou'd but consent to marry him but as he found out by his Art he had reason to think I never wou'd incline to such a Match And indeed I never had any thoughts of marrying this Giant nor really any other Giant in the World how unmeasurably Great and Mighty soever he were My Father therefore charg'd me patiently to bear my Misfortunes and abandon my Kingdom to Pandafilando for a time without offering to keep him out by force of Arms since this wou'd be the best means to prevent my own Death and the ruin of my Subjects considering the impossibility of withstanding the devilish Force of the Giant But withal he order'd me to direct my Course towards Spain where I shou'd be sure to meet with a powerful Champion in the Person of a Knight-Errant whose Fame shou'd at that time be spread over all the Kingdom and his Name my Father said shou'd be if I forget not Don Azote or Don Gigote An 't please you forsooth quoth Sancho you wou'd say Don Quixote otherwise call'd the Knight of the woful Figure You are right answer'd Dorothea and my Father also describ'd him and said he shou'd be a tall thin fac'd Man and that on his right Side under the left Shoulder or somewhere thereabouts he shou'd have a tawny Mole overgrown with a tuft of Hair not much unlike that of a Horse's Main With that Don Quixote calling for his Squire to come to him here said he Sancho help me off with my Cloaths for I 'm resolv'd to see whether I be the Knight of whom the Negromantick King has prophesy'd Pray Sir why wou'd you pull off your Cloaths cry'd Dorothea To see whether I have such a Mole about me as your Father mention'd reply'd the Knight Your Worship need not strip to know that quoth Sancho for to my knowledge yo 've just such a mark as my Lady says on the small of your Back which betokens you to be a strong body'd Man That 's enough said Dorothea Friends may believe one another without such a strict Examination and whether it be on the Shoulder or on the Backbone 't is not very material In short I find my Father aim'd right in all his Predictions and so do I in recommending my self to Don Quixote whose Stature and Appearance so well agree with my Father's Description and whose Renown is so far spread not only in Spain but over all La Mancha that I had no sooner landed at Ossuna but the Fame of his Prowess reach'd my Ears so that I was satisfy'd in my self he was the Person in quest of whom I came But pray Madam cry'd Don Quixote how did you do to land at Ossuna since 't is no Sea-port-Town Doubtless Sir said the Curate before Dorothea cou'd answer for her self the Princess wou'd say that after she landed at Malaga the first place where she heard of your feats of Arms was Ossuna That 's what I wou'd have said reply'd Dorothea 'T is easily understood said the Curate then pray let your Majesty be pleas'd to go on with your Story I 've nothing more to add answer'd Dorothea but that Fortune has at last so far favour'd me as to make me find the noble Don Quixote by whose Valour I look upon my self as already restor'd to the Throne of my Ancestors since he has so courteously and magnanimously vouchsaf'd to grant me the Boon I begg'd to go with me wheresoever I shall guide him For all I have to do is to shew him this Pandafilando of the gloomy Sight that he may slay him and restore that to me of which he has so unjustly depriv'd me
Barbary his Estate mine and my Brother's all should fly for your Ransom And for the Fair and Liberal Zoraida what thanks what recompence could we provide O might I see the happy Day of her Spiritual Birth and Baptism to see her joyn'd to him in Faith and Marriage how should we all rejoyce These and such like Expressions the Judge utter'd with so much passion and vehemency that he mov'd a concern in every body The Curate foreseeing the hapyy Success of his Design resolv'd to prolong the discovery no farther and to free the Company from suspence he went to the Lady's Room and leading out Zoraida follow'd by the rest he took the Captain by t'other hand and presenting them to the Judge suppress your Grief my Lord said he and glut your Heart with Joy behold what you so passionately desir'd your dear Brother and his fair Deliverer this Gentleman is Captain Viedma and this the Beautiful Algerine the French have only reduc'd them to this low Condition to make Room for your Generous Sentiments and Liberality The Captain then approaching to embrace the Judge held him off with both his hands to view him well but once knowing him he flew into his Arms with such Affection and such abundance of Tears that all the Spectators sympathiz'd in his Passions The Brothers spoke so feelingly and their mutual Affection was so moving the surprize so wonderful and their Joy so transporting that it must be left purely to imagination to conceive Now they tell one another the strange turns and mazes of their Fortunes then renew their Caresses to the height of Brotherly tenderness Now the Judge embraces Zoraida then makes her an Offer of his whole Fortune next makes his Daughter embrace her then the sweet and innocent converse of the beautiful Christian and the lovely Moor so touch'd the whole Company that they all wept for Joy In the mean time Don Quixote was very solidly attentive and wond'ring at these strange Occurrences attributed them purely to something answerable to the Chimerical Notions which are incident to Chivalry The Captain and Zoraida in concert with the whole Company resolv'd to return with their Brother to Sevil and thence to advise their Father of his Arrival and Liberty that the old Gentleman should make the best shift he could to get so far to see the Baptism and Marriage of Zoraida while the Judge took his Voyage to the Indies being oblig'd to make no delay because the Indian Fleet were ready at Sevil to set Sail in a Month for New-Spain Every thing being now settl'd to the universal satisfaction of the Company and being very late they all agreed for Bed only Don Quixote who must necessarily Guard the Castle whilst they slept lest some Tyrant or Giant covetous of the great Treasure of Beauty which it inclos'd should make some dangerous Attempt He had the Thanks of the House and the Judge being farther inform'd of his Humour laugh'd very heartily Sancho Pança was very uneasie and waspish for want of sleep tho' the best provided with a Bed bestowing himself on his Pack-Saddle but he paid dearly for it as we shall hear presently The Ladies being retir'd to their Chamber and every body else withdrawn to rest and Don Quixote planted Centinel at the Castle-Gate the Ladies heard of a sudden some body singing so sweetly that he allur'd all their Attentions but chiefly Dorothea's with whom the Judge's Daughter Donna Clara de Viedma lay None could imagine who could make such pretty Musick without an Instrument sometimes it sounded as from the Yard sometimes as from the Stable With this Cardenio knock'd softly at their Door Ladies Ladies said he are you awake Can you sleep when so charmingly Serenaded Don't you hear how sweetly one of the Foot-men sings Yes Sir said Dorothea we hear him plainly Then Dorothea hearkning as attentively as she could heard this Song CHAP. XVI The Story of the young Muleteer with other strange Adventures that happen'd in the Inn. A Song I. TOss'd in Doubts and Fears I rove On the stormy Seas of Love Far from Comfort far from Port Beauty's Prize and Fortune's Sport Yet my heart disclaims Despair While I trace my leading Star II. But Reserv'dness like a Cloud Does too oft her Glories shroud Pierce the gloom reviving sight Be auspicious as you 're bright As you hide or dart your Beams Your Adorer sinks or swims Dorothea thought it wou'd not be much amiss to give Donna Clara the opportunity of hearing so excellent a Voice wherefore jogging her gently first on one side and then on to'ther and the young Lady waking I ask your Pardon my Dear cry'd Dorothea for thus interrupting your repose and I hope you 'll easily forgive me since I only wake you that you may have the pleasure of hearing one of the most charming Voices that possibly you ever heard in your Life Donna Clara who was hardly awake did not perfectly understand what Dorothea said and therefore desir'd her to repeat what she spoke to her before Dorothea did so which then oblig'd Donna Clara also to listen but scarce had she heard the early Musician sing two Verses e'er she was taken with a strange trembling as if she had been seiz'd with a violent sit of a Quartan Ague and then closely embracing Dorothea Ah! dear Madam cry'd she with a sigh why did you wake me Alass the greatest happiness I cou'd now have expected had been to have stopt my Ears That unhappy Musician How 's this my dear cry'd Dorothea have you not heard that the young Lad who sung now is but a Muleteer Oh no he 's no such thing reply'd Clara but a young Lord heir to a great Estate and has such a full possession of my Heart that if he does not slight it it must be his for ever Dorothea was strangely surpriz'd at the young Lady's passionate Expressions that seem'd far to exceed those of Persons of her tender Years You speak so mysteriously Madam reply'd she that I can't rightly understand you unless you will please to let me know more plainly what you wou'd say of Hearts and Sighs and this young Musician whose Voice has caus'd so great an alteration in you However speak no more of 'em now for I 'm resolv'd I 'll not lose the pleasure of hearing him sing Hold continu'd she I fancy he 's going to entertain us with another Song With all my Heart return'd Clara and with that she stopt her Ears that she might not hear him at which again Dorothea cou'd not choose but admire but list'ning to his Voice she heard the following Song HOPE I. UNconquer'd Hope thou Bane of Fear And last deserter of the Brave Thou soothing Ease of Mortal Care Thou Traveller beyond the Grave Thou Soul of Patience airy Food Bold Warrant of a distant Good Reviving Cordial kind Decoy Tho' Fortune frowns and Friends depart Tho' Sylvia flies me flatt'ring Joy Nor Thou nor Love shall leave my doating heart II. The Phoenix
when they heard a great Noise in the House and by and by Sancho came running in unexpectedly into the Room where they sate in a terrible Fright with a Dish-clout before him instead of a Bib. The Scullions and other greasie Rabble of the Kitchen were about him one of 'em pursuing him with a little Kneading-Trough full of Dish-water which he endeavour'd by any means to put under his Chin while another stood ready to have wash'd the poor Squire with it How now Fellow said the Dutchess What 's the matter here What wou'd you do with this good Man Don't you consider he 's a Governor Elect Madam quoth the Barber-Scullion the Gentleman won't let us wash him according to Custom as my Lord Duke and his Master were Yes marry but I will quoth Sancho in a mighty Huff but then it shall be with clearer Sudds cleaner Towels and not quite so stovenly Paws for there 's no such difference between my Master and me neither that he must be wash'd with Angel-Water and I with the Devil's Lye So far the Customs of great Men's Houses are good as they give no Offence But this same Beastly washing in a Puddle is worse Pennance than a Frier's Flogging My Beard is clean enough and wants no such refreshing Stand clear you had best for the first that comes to wash me or touch a Hair of my Head my Beard I would say Sir Reverence of the Company I 'll take him such a Dowse o' th' Ear he shall feel it a Twelvemonth after For these kind of Ceremonies and Soapings d' ye see look more like Flouts and Jeers than like a civil Welcome to Strangers The Dutchess was like to have burst her Sides with Laughing to see Sancho's Fury and hear how he argu'd for himself But Don Quixote did not very well like to see him with such a nasty Dish-Clout about his Neck and made the sport of the Kitchen-Pensioners Therefore after he had made a deep Bow to the Duke as it were desiring Leave to speak looking on the Scullions Hark ye Gentlemen cry'd he very gravely Pray let the Young Man alone and get you gone as you came if you think fit My Squire is as cleanly is another Man your Trough won't do you might as well have brought him a Dram-Cup Away be advis'd by me and leave him For neither he nor I can abide such slovenly Jestings No no quoth Sancho taking the Words out of his Master's Mouth let 'em stay and go on with their Show I 'll pay my Barbers I 'll warrant ye They had as good take a Lion by the Beard as meddle with mine Let 'em bring a Comb hither or what they will and Curry-comb it and if they find any thing there that should not be there I 'll give 'em leave to cut and mince me as small as a Horse Sancho is in the right said the Dutchess still Laughing and will be in the right in all he says he is as clean and neat as can be and needs none of your scouring and if he does not like our way of Washing let him do as he pleases Besides you who pretend to make others clean have shewn your selves now very Careless and Idle I don't know whether I mayn't say Impudent too to offer to bring your Kneading-Trough and your Dish-clouts to such a Person and such a Beard instead of a Golden Bason and Ewer and fine Diaper-Towels But you are a Pack of unmannerly Varlets and like saucy Rascals as you are can't help shewing your Spight to the Squires of Knight-Errants The greasy Regiment and even the Steward who was with 'em thought verily the Dutchess had been in earnest So they took the Cloath from Sancho's Neck and sneak'd off quite out of Countenance Sancho seeing himself deliver'd from his Apprehensions of this Danger ran and threw himself on his Knees before the Dutchess Heaven bless your Worship's Grace quoth he Madam Dutchess Great Persons are able to do great Kindnesses For my part I don't know how to make your Worship amends for this you 've done me now I can only wish I might see my my self an Arm'd Knight-Errant for your sake that I might spend all the Days of my Life in the Service of so high a Lady I am a poor Country-Man my Name is Sancho Pança Children I have and serve as a Squire If in any of these Matters I can do you any good you need but speak I 'll be nimbler in doing than your Worship shall be in ordering 'T is evident Sancho said the Dutchess that you have learn'd Civility in the School of Courtesy it self and have been bred up under the Wings of Don Quixote who is the very Cream of Compliment and the Flower of Ceremonies All Happiness attend such a Knight and such a Squire the one the North-Star of Chivalry-Errant the other the bright Luminary of Squire-like Fidelity Rise my Friend Sancho and assure your self that for the Recompence of your Civilities I will perswade my Lord Duke to put you in Possession of the Government he promis'd you as soon as he can After this Don Quixote went to take his Afternoon's Sleep But the Dutchess desir'd Saâ—cho if he were not very sleepy he would pass the Afternoon with her and her Women in a cool Room Sancho told her Grace that indeed he did use to take a good sound Nap some four or five hours long in an Afternoon but to do her good Honour a Kindness he wou'd break an old Custom for once and do his best to hold up that Day and wait on her Worship The Duke on his side gave fresh Orders that Don Quixote shou'd be entertain'd exactly like a Knight-Errant without deviating the least step from the Road of Chivalry such as is observable in Books of that kind CHAP. XXXIII The savoury Conference which the Dutchess and her Women held with Sancho Pança worth your Reading and Observation THE Story afterwards informs us that Sanchâ— slept not a Wink all that Afternoon but waited on the Dutchess as he had promis'd Being mightily taken with his comical Discourse she order'd him to take a low Chair and sit by her but Sancho who knew better things absolutely declin'd it till she press'd him again to sit as he was a Governour and speak as he was a Squire in both which Capacities he deserv'd the very Seat of Cid Ruy Diaz the famous Champion Sancho shrugg'd up his Shoulders and obey'd and all the Dutchess's Women standing round about her to give her silent Attention she began the Conference Now that we are private said she and no Body to over-hear us I would desire you my Lord Governour to resolve me of some Doubts in the printed History of the great Don Quixote which puzzle me very much First I find that the good Sancho had never seen Dulcinea the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso I should have said nor carried her his Master's Letter as having left the Table-Book behind him in Sierra Morena how then
make but sad Work on 't if I must pump my Brains for 't No no said the Dutchess this will do well enough and I must have the Duke see it They went then into the Garden where they were to Dine that Day and there she shew'd the Duke the Learned Epistle which he read over with a great deal of Pleasure After Dinner Sancho was Entertaining the Company very pleasantly with some of his savoury Discourse when suddenly they were surpriz'd with the mornful Sound of a Fife which play'd in Consort with a hoarse unbrac'd Drum All the Company seem'd amaz'd and discompos'd at the unpleasig Noise but Don Quixote especially was so alarm'd with this solmn Martial Harmony that he could not compose his Thoughts Sancho's Fear undoubtedly wrought the usual Effects and carried him to crouch by the Dutchess During this Consternation two Men in deep Mourning Cloaks trailing on the Ground enter'd the Garden each of 'em beating a large Drum cover'd also with Black and with these a third playing on a Fife in Mourning like the rest They usher'd in a Person of a Gigantick Stature to which the long black Garb in which he was wrapp'd up was no small Addition It had a Train of a prodigious length and over the Cassock was girt a broad black Belt which slung a Scimiter of a mighty size His Face was cover'd with a thin black Vail through which might be discern'd a Beard of vast length as white as Snow The Solemnity of his Pace kept exact Time to the gravity of the Musick In short his Stature his Motion his black Hue and his Attendance were every way suprizing and astonishing With this State and Formality he approach'd and fell on his Knees at a convenient distance before the Duke who not suffering him to speak till he arose the Monstrous Spectre erected his Bulk and throwing off his Veil discover'd the most terrible hugeous white broad prominent bushy Beard that ever Mortal Eyes were frighted at Then fixing his Eyes on the Duke and with a deep Sonorous Voice roaring out from the ample Cavern of his spreading Lungs Most High and Potent Lord cry'd he my Name is Trifaldin with the White Beard Squire to the Countess Trifaldi otherwise yclep'd the Disconsolate Matron from whom I am Ambassador to your Grace begging Admittance for her Ladyship to come and relate before your Magnificence the unhappy and wonderful Circumstances of her Misfortune But first she desires to be Inform'd whether the Valorous and Invincible Knight Don Quixote de la Mancha resides at this time in your Castle for 't is in Quest of him that my Lady has Travell'd without Coach or Palfrey Hungry and Thirsty and in short without breaking her Fast from the Kingdom of Candaya all the way to these your Grace's Territories A thing incredibly Miraculous if not wrought by Inchantment She is now without the Gate of this Castle waiting only for your Grace's Permission to enter This said the Squire Cough'd and stroak'd his unweildy Beard from the top to the bottom and with a formal gravity expected the Duke's Answer Worthy Squire Trifaldin with the white Beard said the Duke long since have we heard the Misfortunes of the Countess Trifaldi whom Inchantâ—rs have occasion'd to be call'd the Disconsolate Mâ—tron and therefore most stupendous Squire you may tell her that she may make her Entry and that the Valiant Don Quixote de la Mancha is here present on whose Generous Assistance she may safely rely for Redress Inform her also from me That if she has occasion for my Aid she may depend on my readiness to do her Service being oblig'd as I 'm a Knight to be Aiding and Assisting to the utmost of my Power to all Persons of her Sex in distress especially Widow'd Matrons like her Ladyship Trifaldin hearing this made his Obeisance with the Knee and Beckoning to the Fife and Drums to observe his Motion they all March'd out in the same Solemn Procession as they Enter'd and left all the Beholders in a deep Admiration of his Proportion and Deportment Then the Duke turning to Don Quixote Behold Sir Knight said he how the Light and Glory of Vertue dart their Beams through the Clouds of Malice and Ignorance and Shine to the remotest Parts of the Earth 'T is hardly six Days since you have vouchsaf'd to Honour this Castle with your Presence and already the Afflicted and Distress'd flock hither from the uttermost Regions not in Coaches or on Dromedaries but on Foot and without Eating by the Way such is their Confidence in the Strength of that Arm the Fame of whose great Exploits flies and spreads every where and makes the whole World acquainted with your Valour What would I give my Lord said Don Quixote that the same Holy Pedant were here now who t'other Day at your Table wou'd have run down Knight-Errantry at such a Rate that the Testimony of his own Eyes might convince him of the Absurdity of his Error and let him see that the Comfortless and Afflicted do not in Enormous Misfortunes and uncommon Adversity repair for Redress to the Doors of droning Church-men or your little Sacristans of Villages nor to the Fire-side of your Country-Gentleman who never Travels beyond his Land-mark nor to the lolling lazy Courtier who rather hearkens after News which he may relate than endeavours to perform such Deeds as may deserve to be Recorded and Related No the Protection of Damsels the Comfort of Widows the Redress of the Injur'd and the support of the Distress'd are no where so perfectly to be expected as from the generous Professors of Knight-Errantry Therefore I thank Heaven a thousand Times for having qualify'd me to Answer the Necessities of the Miserable by such a Function As for the hardships and accidents that may attend me I look on 'em as no Discouragements since proceeding from so noble a Cause Then let this Matron be admitted to make known her Request and I will refer her for Redress to the Force of my Arm and the Intrepid Resolution of my Courageous Soul CHAP. XXXVII The famous Adventure of the disconsolate * * The Spanish is Duena which signifies an old Waiting-Woman Maâ—tron continu'd THE Duke and Dutchess were mightily pleas'd to find Don Quixote wrought up to a Resolution so agreeable to their Design But Sancho who made his Observations was not so well satisfy'd I am in a bodily Fear quoth he that this same Mistress Waiting-Woman will be a Baulk to my Preferment I remember I once knew a Toledo-Potheâ—ary that talk'd like a Canary-Bird and us'd to say Where-ever come old Waiting-Women good Luck can happen there to no Man Body of me he knew 'em too well and therefore valu'd 'em accordingly He cou'd have eaten 'em all with a Grain of Salt Since then the best of 'em are so plaguy troublesome and impertinent what will those be that are in doleful Dumps like this same Countess Three Folds Three Skirts or Three Tails
so many Flesh-flies Come now for your Queston good Mr. Steward and I 'll answer it as well as I can whether the Town be sorry or pleas'd At the same instant two Men came into the Court the one dress'd like a Country Fellow the other look'd like a Tailor with a pair of Sheers in his hand An 't please you my Lord cry'd the Taylor I and this Farmer here are come before your Worship This honest Man came to my Shop yesterday for saving your Presence I am a Tailor and Heaven be prais'd free of my Company So my Lord he shew'd me a piece of Cloath Sir quoth he is there enough of this to make me a Cap Whereupon I measur'd the Stuff and answer'd him yes an 't like your Worship Now as I imagine d' ye see he could not but imagine and perhaps he imagin'd right enough that I had a mind to cabbage some of his Cloath judging hard of us honest Tailors Prithee quoth he look whether there been't enough for two Caps Now I smelt him out and told him there was Whereupon the Old Knave an 't like your Worship going on to the same Tune bid me look again and see whether it would not make three And at last if it would not make five I was resolv'd to humour my Customer and said it might So we struck a Bargain just now the Man is come for his Caps which I gave him but when I ask him for my Money he 'll have me give him his Cloath again or pay him for 't Is this true honest Man said Sancho to the Farmer Yes an 't please you answer'd the Fellow but pray let him shew the five Caps he has made me With all my Heart cry'd the Tailor and with that pulling his hand from under his Cloak he held up five little tiny Caps hanging upon his four Fingers and Thumb as upon so many Pins There quoth he you see the five Caps this good Gaffer asks for and may I never whip a stitch more if I have wrong'd him of the least snip of his Cloath and let any Work-man be Judge The sight of the Caps and the oddness of the Cause set the whole Court a laughing Only Sancho sat gravely considering a while and then Methinks said he this Suit here need not be long depending but may be decided without any more ado with a great deal of Equity and therefore the Judgment of the Court is That the Tailor shall lose his Making and the Country-Man his Cloath and that the Caps be given to the poor Prisoners and so let there be an end of the Business If this Sentence provok't the Laughter of the whole Court the next no less rais'd their Admiration For after the Governour 's Order was executed two old Men appear'd before him one of 'em with a large Cane in his Hand which he us'd as a Staff My Lord said the other who had none some time ago I lent this Man ten Gold-Crowns to do him a kindness which Money he was to repay me on Demand I did not ask him for it again in a good While lest it should prove a greater Inconveniency to him to repay me than he labour'd under when he borrow'd it However perceiving that he took no care to pay me I have ask'd him for my Due nay I have been forc'd to dun him hard for it But still he did not only refuse to pay me again but deny'd he ow'd me any Thing and said that if I lent him so much Money he certainly return'd it Now because I have no Witnesses of the Loan nor he of the pretended Payment I beseech your Lordship to put him to his Oath and if he will swear he has paid me I 'll freely forgive him before God and the World What say you to this old Gentleman with the Staff ask'd Sancho Sir answer'd the old Man I own he lent me the Gold and since he requires my Oath I beg you 'll be pleas'd to hold down your Rod of Justice that I may swear upon 't how I have honestly and truly return'd him his Money Thereupon the Governour held down his Rod and in the mean time the Defendant gave his Cane to the Plaintiff to hold as if it hinder'd him while he was to make a Cross and swear over the Judge's Rod This done he declar'd That 't was true the other had lent him the ten Crowns but that he had really return'd him the same Sum into his own Hands and that because he suppos'd the Plaintiff had forgot it he was continually asking him for it The great Governour hearing this ask'd the Creditor what he had to reply He made Answer that since his Adversary had sworn it he was satisfy'd for he believ'd him to be a better Christian than to offer to foreswear himself and that perhaps he had forgot he had been repaid Then the Defendant took his Cane again and having made a low Obeisance to the Judge was immediately leaving the Court. Which when Sancho perceiv'd reflectiong on the Passage of the Cane and admiring the Creditor's Patience after he had study'd a while with his Head leaning over his Stomach and his Fore-finger on his Nose on a sudden he order'd the old Man with the Staff to be call'd back When he was return'd honest Man said Sancho let me see that Cane a little I have a Use for 't With all my Heart answer'd the other Sir here it is and with that he gave it him Sancho took it and giving it the other old Man There said he go your ways and Heaven be with you for now you 're paid How so my Lord cry'd the old Man Do you judge this Cane to be worth ten Gold-Crowns Certainly said the Governour or else I am the greatest Dunce in the World And now ye shall see whether I have not a Head-piece fit to govern a whole Kingdom upon a shift This said he order'd the Cane to be broken in open Court which was no sooner done but out dropp'd the ten Crowns All the Spectators were amaz'd and began to look on their Governour as a second Solomon They ask'd him how he could conjecture that the ten Crowns were in the Cane He told 'em that having observ'd how the Defendant gave it to the Plaintiff to hold while he took his Oath and then swore he had truly return'd him the Money in his own Hands after which he took his Cane again from the Plaintiff this consider'd it came into his Head that the Money was lodg'd within the Reed From whence may be learn'd that though sometimes those that govern are destitute of Sense yet it often pleases God to direct 'em in their Judgments Besides he had heard the Curate of his Parish tell of such another Business and he had so special a Memory that were it not that he was so unlucky as to forget all he had a mind to remember there could not have been a better in the whole Island At last the
and flung the Beast out at the Window Don Quixote's Face was hideously scratch'd and his Nose in no very good Condition Yet nothing vex'd him so much as that they had rescu'd out of his Hands that villainous Necromancer Immediately some Ointment was sent for and Altisidora her self with her own Lilly-white Hands apply'd some Plaisters to his Sores and whispering him in the Ear as she was dressing him cruel hard-hearted Knight said she all these Disasters are befallen thee as a just Punishment for thy obdurate Stubbornness and Disdain May thy Squire Sancho forget to whip himself that thy Darling Dulcinea may never be deliver'd from her Inchantment nor thou ever be bless'd with her Embraces at least so long as I thy neglected Adorer live Don Quixote made no Answer at all to this only he heav'd up a profound Sigh and then went to take his Repose after he had return'd the Duke and Dutchess Thanks not so much for their Assistance against that rascally Crew of catterwauling and jangling Inchanters for he defy'd 'em all but for their Kindness and good Intent Then the Duke and the Dutchess left him not a little troubl'd at the Miscarriage of their Jest which they did not think would have prov'd so fatal to the Knight as to oblige him as it did to keep his Chamber five Days During which Time there happen'd to him another Adventure more pleasant than the last which however cannot be now related for the Historian must return to Sancho Pança who was very busie and no less pleasant in his Government CHAP. XLVII A further Account of Sancho Pança's Behaviour in his Government THE History informs us that Sancho was conducted from the Court of Justice to a sumptuous Palace where in a spacious Room he found the Cloth laid and a most neat and magnificent Entertainment prepar'd As soon as he enter'd the Wind-Musick play'd and four Pages waited on him in order to the washing of his Hands which he did with a great deal of Gravity And now the Instruments ceasing Sancho sat down at the upper-end of the Table for there was no Seat but there and the Cloth was only laid for one A certain Personage who afterwards appear'd to be a Physician came and stood at his Elbow with a Whale-bone Wand in his Hand Then they took off a curious white Cloth that lay over the Dishes on the Table and discover'd great Variety of Fruit and other Eatables One that look'd like a Student said Grace a Page put a lac'd Bib under Sancho's Chin and another who did the Office of Steward set a Dish of Fruit before him But he had hardly put one bit into his Mouth before the Physician touch'd the Dish with his Wand and then it was taken away by a Page in an Instant Immediately another with Meat was clapp'd in the Place but Sancho no sooner offer'd to taste of it but the Doctor with the Wand conjur'd it away as fast as the Fruit. Sancho was amaz'd at this sudden Removal and looking about him on the Company ask'd them whether they us'd to tantalize People at that rate feeding their Eyes and starving their Bellies My Lord Governour answer'd the Physician you are to eat here no otherwise than according to the Use and Custom of other Islands where there are Governours I am a Doctor of Physick my Lord and have a Salary allow'd me in this Island for taking Charge of the Governour 's Health and I am more careful of it than of my own studying Night and Day his Constitution that I may the better know what to prescribe when he falls Sick Now the chief Thing I do is to attend him always at his Meals to let him Eat what I think convenient for him and to prevent his Eating what I imagine to be prejudicial to his Health and offensive to his Stomach Therefore I now order'd the Fruit to be taken away because 't is exceeding moist and the other Dish because 't is as much too hot and over-season'd with Spices which are apt to encrease Thirst and he that drinks much destroys and consumes the radical Moisture which is the Fuel of Life So then quoth Sancho this Dish of roasted Partridges here can do me no manner of Harm Hold said the Physician the Lord Governour shall not eat of 'em while I live to prevent it Why so cry'd Sancho Because answer'd the Doctor our great Master Hippocrates the North-Star and Luminary of Physick says in one of his Aphorisms Omnis Saturatio mala perdicis autem pessima That is all Repletion is bad but that of Partridges is worst of all If it be so said Sancho let Mr. Doctor see which of all these Dishes on the Table will do me most Good and least Harm and let me eat my Belly-ful of that without having it whisk'd away with his Wand For by my Hopes and the Pleasures of Government as I live I am ready to die with Hunger and not to allow me to eat any Victuals let Mr. Doctor say what he will is the way to shorten my Life and not to lengthen it Very true my Lord reply'd the Physician however I am of Opinion you ought not to eat of these Rabbets as being a tough and acute Kind of Food nor wou'd I have you taste of that Veal Indeed if it were neither roasted nor stew'd something might be said but as it is it must not be Well then said Sancho what think you of that huge Dish yonder that smoaks so I take it to be an * * T is what we corruptly call an Olio all Sorts of Meat stew'd together Olla Podrida and that being a Hodge-podge of so many Sorts of Victuals sure I can't but light upon Something there that will nick me and be both wholesome and toothsome Absiâ— cry'd the Doctor far be such an ill Thought from us no Diet in the World yields a worse Nutriment than those Mishmashes do No leave that luxurious Compound to your rich Monks and Prebendaries your Masters of Colleges and lusty Feeders at Country-Weddings But let 'em not incumber the Tables of Governours where nothing but delicate unmix'd Viands in their Prime ought to make a Figure The Reason is that Simple Medicines are generally allow'd to be better than Compounds for in a Composition there may happen a Mistake by the unequal Proportion of the Ingredients but Simples are not subject to that Accident Therefore what I wou'd advise at present as a fit Diet for the Governour for the Preservation and Support of his Health is a Hundred of small Wafers and a few thin Slices of Marmalade to strengthen his Stomach and help Digestion Sancho hearing this lean'd back upon his Chair and looking earnestly in the Doctor 's Face very seriously ask'd him what his Name was and where he had studied My Lord answer'd he I am call'd Doctor Pedro Rezio de Aguâ—â— The Name of the Place where I was born is Tirteafuera and lies between Caraquel and Almodâ—â—â—â—
del Campo on the Right-hand and I took my Degree of Doctor in the University of Osuna Hath you said Sancho in a mighty Chafe Mr. Dr. Pedro Rezio de Aguero born at Tirteafuera that lies between Caraquel and Almodobar del Campo on the Right-hand and who took your Degree of Doctor at the University of Osuna and so forth Be gone Avoid the Room this Moment or by the Life of Pharaoh I 'll get me a good Cudgel and beginning with your Carcass will so be-labour and rib-roast all the Physick-mongers in the Island that I 'll not leave there one of the Tribe of those I mean that are Ignorant Quacks for as for Learned and Wise Physicians I 'll make much of 'em and honour 'em like so many Angels Once more Pedro Rezio I say get out of my Presence Avaunt Or I 'll take the Chair I sit upon and I 'll comb your Head with it to some Purpose and let me be call'd to an Account about it when I give up my Office I don't care I 'll clear my self by saying I did the World good Service in ridding it of a bad Physician the Plague of a Common-wealth Body of me let me eat or let 'em take their Government again for an Office that won't afford a Man his Victuals is not worth two Horse-Beans The Physician was terrify'd seeing the Governour in such a Heat and wou'd that Moment have slunk out of the Room had not the Sound of a Post-Horn in the Street been heard that Moment whereupon the Steward immediately looking out at the Window turn'd back and said there was an Express come from the Duke doubtless with some Dispatch of Importance Presently the Messenger enter'd sweating with Haste and Concern in his Looks and pulling a Packet out of his Bosom deliver'd it to the Governour Sancho gave it to the Steward and order'd him to read the Direction which was this To Don Sancho Pança Governour of the Island Barataria to be deliver'd into his own Hands or those of his Secretary Who is my Secretary cry'd Sancho 'T is I my Lord answer'd one that was by for I can write and read and am a Biscayner That last Qualification is enough to make thee set up for Secretary to the Emperor himself said Sancho Open the Letter then and see what it says The new Secretary did so and having perus'd the Dispatch by himself told the Governour that 't was a Business that was to be told only in Private Sancho order'd every one to leave the Room except the Steward and the Carver and then the Secretary read what follows I have receiv'd Information My Lord Don Sancho Pança that some of our Enemies intend to attack your Island with great Fury one of these Nights You ought therefore to be watchful and stand upon your Guard that you may not be sound unprovided I have also had Intelligence from faithful Spies that there are four Men got into the Town in Disguise to murder you your Abilities being regarded as a great Obstacle to the Enemy's Designs Look about you take heed how you admit Strangers to speak with you and eat nothing that is laid before you I will take care to send you Assistance if you stand in need of it And in every thing I rely on your Prudence From our Castle the 16th of August 〈◊〉 in the Morning Your Friend The Duke Sancho was astonish'd at the News and those that were with him seem'd no less concern'd But at last turning to the Steward I 'll tell you said he what is first to be done in this Case and that with all Speed Clap me that same Doctor Rezio in a Dungeon for if any Body has a Mind to kill me it must be he and that with a lingring Death the worst of Deaths Hunger-starving However said the Carver I am of Opinion your Honour ought not to eat any of the Things that stand here before ye for they were sent in by some of the Convents and 't is a common Saying The Devil â—urks behind the Cross Which no Body can deny quoth Sancho and therefore let me have for the present but a Luncheon of Bread and some four Pound of Raisins there can be no Poison in that For in short I cannot live without eating and if we must be in a Readiness against these Battles we had need be well victuall'd for 't is the Belly keeps up the Heart and not the Heart the Belly Mean while Secretary do you send my Lord Duke an Answer and tell him his Order shall be fulfill'd in every Part without fail Remember me kindly to my Lady Dutchess and beg of her not to forget to send one on purpose with my Letter and Bundle to Teresa Pança my Wife which I shall take as a special Favour and I will be mindful to serve her to the best of my Power And when your Hand 's in you may croud in my Service to my Master Don Quixote de la Mancha that he may see I am neither forgetful nor ungrateful The rest I leave to you put in what you will and do your Part like a good Secretary and a stanch Biscayner Now take away here and bring me something to eat and then you shall see I am able to deal with all the Spies Wizzards and cut-throat Dogs that dare to meddle with me and my Island At that Time a Page entring the Room My Lord said he there 's a Country-man without desires to speak with your Lordship about Business of great Consequence 'T is a strange Thing cry'd Sancho that one must still be plagu'd with these Men of Business Is it possible they shou'd be such Sots as not to understand this is not a Time for Business Do they fancy that we Governours and Distributors of Justice are made of Iron and Marble and have no need of Rest and Refreshment like other Creatures of Flesh and Blood Well before Heaven and o' my Conscience if my Government does but last as I shrewdly guess it will not I 'll get one of these Men of Business laid by the Heels Well for once let the Fellow come in But first take Heed he ben't one of the Spies or Ruffian-Rogues that would murder me As for that said the Page I dare say he had no Hand in the Plot poor Soul he looks as if he could not help it there 's no more Harm in him to see to than in a Piece of good Bread There 's no need to fear said the Steward since we are all here by you But hark you quoth Sancho now Dr. Razio's gone might not I eat something that has some Substance in it though it were but a Crust and an Onion At Night answer'd the Carver your Honour shall have no Cause to complain Supper shall make Amends for the Want of your Dinner Heaven grant it may said Sancho Now the Country-man came in and by his Looks seem'd to be a good harmless silly Soul As soon as he enter'd the Room
Father who 's also the Father of Proverbs when a Cow's given thee run and take her with a Halter When they give thee a Government take it when an Earldom catch it and when they Whistle to thee with a good Gift snap at it That which is good to give is good to take Girl 'T were a petty Fancy trow to lie snoring a Bed and when Good-Luck knocks not to rise to open the Door Ay quoth Sanchica what is' t to me tho' they shou'd say all they 've a Mind to say When they see me so tearing fine and so woundy great let 'em spit their Venom and say set a Beggar a Horse-back and so forth Who wou'd not think said the Curate hearing this but that the whole Race of the Pansa's came into the World with their Paunches stuff'd with Proverbs I never knew one of the Name but threw 'em out at all Times let the Discourse be what it wou'd I think so too said the Page for his Honour the Governour blunders 'em out at every Turn many Times indeed wide from the Purpose however always to the Satisfaction of the Company and with high Applause from my Lord and my Lady Then Sir you assure us still said Carrasco that Sancho is really a Governour and that a Dutchess sends these Presents and Letters upon his Account for tho' we see the Things and read the Letters we can scarce prevail with our selves to believe but are apt to run into our Friend Don Quixote's Opinion and look on all this as the Effect of some Inchantment So that I cou'd find in my Heart to feel and try whether you are a visionary Messenger or a Creature of Flesh and Blood For my Part Gentlemen answer'd the Page all I can tell ye is that I am really the Messenger I appear to be that the Lord Sancho Pansa is actually a Governour and that the Duke and the Dutchess to whom I belong are able to give and have given him that Government where I am credibly inform'd he behaves himself most worthily Now if there be any Inchantment in the Matter I leave you to examine that for by the Life of my Parents one of the greatest Oaths I can utter for they are both alive and I love 'em dearly I know no more of the Business That may be said the Batchelor but yet dubitat Augustinus You may doubt if you please reply'd the Page but I have told you the Truth which will always prevail over Falshood and rise uppermost as Oil does above Water But if you will operibus credere non verbis let one of ye go along with me and you shall see with your Eyes what you will not believe by the Help of your Ears I 'll go with all my Heart quoth Sanchica take me up behind ye Sir I 've a huge Mind to see my Father The Daughters of Governours said the Page must not travel thus unattended but in Coaches or Litters and with a handsome Train of Servants Cud's my Life quoth Sanchica I can go a Journey as well on an Ass as in one of your Coaches I am none of your tender squeamish Things not I. Peace Chicken quoth the Mother thou dost not know what thou say'st the Gentleman is in the right Times are alter'd When 't was plain Sancho 't was plain Sanchica but now he 's a Governour thou' rt a Lady I can't well tell whether I am right or no. My Lady Teresa says more than she is aware of said the Page But now continu'd he give me a Mouthful to eat as soon as you will for I must go back this Afternoon Be pleas'd then Sir said the Curate to go with me and partake of a slender Meal at my House for my Neighbour Teresa is more willing than able to entertain so good a Guest The Page excus'd himself a While but at last comply'd being perswaded 't wou'd be much for the better and the Curate on his Side was glad of his Company to have an Opportunity to inform himself at large about Don Quixote and his Proceedings The Batchelor proffer'd Teresa to write her Answers to her Letters but as she look'd upon him to be somewhat waggish she wou'd not permit him to be of her Counsel so she gave a Rowl and a couple of Eggs to a Young Acolite of the Church who cou'd write and he wrote two Letters for her one to her Husband and the other to the Dutchess all of her own Indicting and perhaps not the worst in this famous History as hereafter may be seen CHAP. LI. A Continuation of Sancho Pansa's Government with other Passages such as they are THE Morning of that Day arose which succeeded the Governour 's rounding Night the Remainder of which the Gentleman-waiter spent not in Sleep but in the pleasing Thoughts of the lovely Face and charming Graces of the disguis'd Virgin on the other Side the Steward bestow'd that Time in Writing to his Lord and Lady what Sancho did and said wondring no less at his Actions than at his Expressions both which display'd a strange Intermixture of Discretion and Simplicity At last the Lord Governour was pleas'd to rise and by Dr. Pedro Rezio's Order they brought him for his Breakfast a little Conserve and a Draught of Fair Water which he wou'd have exchang'd with all his Heart for a good Luncheon of Bread and a Bunch of Grapes But seeing he cou'd not help himself he was forc'd to make the best of a bad Market and seem to be content tho' full sore against his Will and Appetite for the Doctor made him believe that to eat but little and that which was dainty enliven'd the Spirits and sharpen'd the Wit and consequently such a Sort of Diet was most proper for Persons in Authority and weighty Employments wherein there is less Need of the Strength of the Body than of that of the Mind This Sophistry serv'd to famish Sancho who half dead with Hunger curs'd in his Heart both the Government and him that had given it him However hungry as he was by the Strength of his slender Breakfast he fail'd not to give Audience that Day and the first that came before him was a Stranger who put the following Case to him the Steward and the rest of the Attendants being present My Lord said he a large River divides in two Parts one and the same Lordship I beg your Honour to lend me your Attention for 't is a Case of great Importance and some Difficulty Upon this River there is a Bridge at one End of which there stands a Gallows and a Kind of a Court of Justice where Four Judges use to sit for the Execution of a certain Law made by the Lord of the Land and River which runs thus Whoever intends to pass from one End of this Bridge to the other must first upon his Oath declare whither he goes and what his Business is If he swear Truth he may go on but if he swear false he shall
but a Dream For who could have thought a Goat-herd should ever come to be a Governour of Islands But what said my Mother Who a great deal would see a great while must live I speak this because if I live longer I mean to see more for I shall ne'er be at Rest till I see thee a Farmer or Receiver of the Customs For though they be Offices that send many to the Devil for all that they bring Grist to the Mill. My Lady Dutchess will tell thee how I long to go to Court Pray think on 't and let me know thy Mind for I mean to credit thee there by going in a Coach Neither the Curate the Barber the Batchelor nor the Sexton will believe thou art a Governor but say 't is all Juggling or Inchantment as all thy Master Don Quixotes's Concerns use to be and Sampson threatens to find thee out and put this Maggot of a Government out of thy Pate and Don Quixote's Madness out of his Coxcomb For my Part I do but laugh at 'em and look upon my string of Coral and contrive how to fit up the Suit thou sent'st me into a Gown for thy Daughter I sent my Lady the Dutchess some Acorns I would they were beaten Gold I prethee send me some Strings of Pearl if they be in fashion in thy Island The News here is that Berrueca has marry'd her Daughter to a sorry Painter that came hither pretending to paint any Thing The Township set him to paint the King's Arms over the Town-Hall He ask'd 'em two Ducats for the Job which they paid him so he fell to Work and was eight Days a daubing but could make nothing on 't at last and said he could not hit upon such piddling Kind of Work and so gave 'em their Money again Yet for all this he marry'd with the Name of a good Work-man The Truth is he has left his Pencil upon 't and taken the Spade and goes to the Field like a Gentleman Pedro de Lobo's Son has taken Orders and shav'd his Crown meaning to be a Priest Minguilla Mingo Silvato's Grand-Daughter heard of it and sues him upon a Promise of Marriage Ill Tongues do not stick to say she has been with Child by him but he stiffly denies it We have no Olives this Year nor is there a Drop of Vinegar to be got for Love or Money A Company of Soldiers went through this Place and carry'd along with them three Wenches out of the Town I don't tell thee their Names for mayhaps they will come back and there will not want some that will marry 'em for better for worse Sanchica makes Bone-lace and gets her three Half-pence a-day clear which she saves in a Box with a Slit to go towards buying Houshold-stuff But now she 's a Governor's Daughter she has no need to work for thou wilt give her a Portion The Fountain in the Market is dry'd up A Thunderbolt fell upon the Pillory There may they all light I expect thy Answer to this and thy Resolution concerning my going to Court so Heaven send thee long to live and longer than my self or rather neither more nor less for I would not willingly leave thee behind me in this World Thy Wife Teresa Pansa These Letters were admir'd and caus'd a great deal of Laughter and Diversion and to compleat the Mirth at the same Time the Express return'd that brought Sancho's Answer to Don Quixote which was likewise publickly Read and startl'd all the Hearers who took the Governor for a Fool Afterwards the Dutchess withdrew to know of the Page what he had to relate of his Journey to Sancho's Village of which he gave her a full Account without omitting the least Particular He also brought her the Acorns and a Cheese which Teresa had given him for a very good one and better than those of Tronchon and which the Dutchess gratefully accepted Now let us leave her to tell the End of the Government of Great Sancho Pansa the Flower and Mirror of all Island-governors CHAP. LIII The Toylsome End and Conclusion of Sancho Pansa's Government TO think the Affairs of this Life are always to remain in the same State is an erroneous Fancy The Face of Things rather seems continually to change and roll with a circular Motion Summer succeeds the Spring Autumn the Summer Winter the Autumn and then Spring again So Time proceeds in this perpetual Round only the Life of Man is ever hastning to its End swifter than Time it self without Hopes to be renew'd unless in the next that is unlimited and infinite This says Cid Hamet the Mahometan Philosopher For even by the Light of Nature and without that of Faith many have discover'd the Swiftness and Instability of this present Being and the Duration of the Eternal Life which is expected But this moral Reflection of our Author is not here to be suppos'd as meant by him in its full Extent for he intended it only to shew the Uncertainty of Sancho's Fortune how soon it vanish'd like a Dream and how from his high Preferment he return'd to his former low Station It was now but the seventh Night after so many Days of his Government when the careful Governor had betaken himself to his Repose sated not with Bread and Wine but cloy'd with hearing Causes pronouncing Sentences making Statutes and putting out Orders and Proclamations Scarce was Sleep in spight of wakeful Hunger beginning to close his Eyes when of a sudden he heard a great Noise of Bells and most dreadful Out-cries as if the whole Island had been sinking Presently he started and sat up in his Bed and listen'd with great Attention to try if he could learn how far this Uproar might concern him But while he was thus hearkening in the Dark a great Number of Drums and Trumpets were heard and that Sound being added to the Noise of the Bells and the Cries gave so dreadful an Alarm that his Fear and Terror increas'd and he was in a sad Consternation Up he leap'd out of his Bed and put on his Slippers the Ground being damp and without any Thing else in the World on but his Shirt ran and open'd his Chamber-door and saw above twenty Men come running along the Galleries with lighted Links in one Hand and drawn Swords in the other all crying out Arm my Lord Governour Arm a World of Enemies are got into the Island and we are undone unless your Valour and Conduct relieve us Thus bawling and running with great Fury and Disorder they got to the Door where Sancho stood quite scar'd out of his Senses Arm Arm this Moment my Lord cry'd one of 'em if you have not a mind to be lost with the whole Island What would ye have me Arm for quoth Sancho Do I know any thing of Arms or Fighting think ye Why don't ye rather send for Don Quixote my Master he 'll dispatch your Enemies in a trice Alas as I am a Sinner to Heaven I understand nothing of
than lay me down with the Slavery of a Government in fine Holland Sheets and case my Hide in Furs and richest Sables Heaven be with you Gentlefolks and pray tell my Lord the Duke from me that naked I was born and naked I am at present I have neither won nor lost which is as much as to say without a Penny I came to this Government and without a Penny I leave it quite contrary to what other Governours of Islands use to do when they leave ' em Clear the Way then I beseech you and let me pass I must get my self wrapp'd up all over in Sear-cloath for I don't think I 've a sound Rib left thanks to the Enemies that have walk'd over me all Night long This must not be my Lord Governour said Doctor Rezio for I will give your Honour a Balsamick Drink that is a Specifick against Falls Dislocations Contusions and all manner of Bruises and that will presently restore you to your former Health and Strength And then for your Diet I promise to take 〈◊〉 new Course with you and to let you eat abundantly of whatsoever you please 'T is too late Mr. Doctor answer'd Sancho You shall as soon make me turn Turk as hinder me from going No no these Tricks shan't pass upon me again you shall as soon make me fly to Heaven without Wings as get me to stay here or ever catch me nibbling at a Government again though it were serv'd up to me in a cover'd Dish I am of the Blood of the Pança's and we are all willful and positive If once we cry odd it shall be odd in spight of all Mankind tho' it be even Go to then Let the Pismire leave behind him in this Stable those Wings that lifted him up in the Air to be a Prey to Martlets and Sparrows Fair and Softly Let me now tread again on plain ground though I mayn't wear pink'd Cordovan-Leather-Pumps I shan't want a coarse Pair of packthread Sandals to my Feet Every Sheep to her Mate Let not the Cobler go beyond his Last and so let me go for 't is late My Lord Governour said the Steward though it grieves us to part with your Honour your Sense and Christian Behaviour engaging us to covet your Company yet we would nor presume to stop you against your Inclination But you know that every Governour before he leaves the Place he has govern'd is bound to give an Account of his Administration Be pleas'd therefore to do so for the ten Days you have been among us and then Peace be with you No Man has Power to call me to an Account reply'd Sancho unless it be by my Lord Duke's Appointment Now to him it is that I am going and to him I 'll give a fair and square Account And indeed going away so bare as I do there needs no greater Signs that I have govern'd like an Angel In truth said Dr. Rezio the great Sancho is in the right and I am of Opinion we ought to let him go for certainly the Duke will be very glad to see him Thereupon they all agree'd to let him pass offering first to attend him and supply him with whatever he might want in his Journey either for Entertainment or Conveniency Sancho told 'em that all he desir'd was a little Corn for his Ass and half a Cheese and half a Loaf for himself having Occasion for no other Provisions in so short a Journey With that they all embrac'd him and he embrac'd them all not without Tears in his Eyes leaving 'em in Admiration of the good Sense which he discover'd both in his Discourse and unalterable Resolution CHAP. LIV. Which treats of Matters that relate to this History and no other THE Duke and Dutchess resolv'd that Don Quixote's Challenge against their Vassal should not be ineffectual and the young Man being fled into Flanders to avoid having Donna Rodriguez to his Mother-in-Law they made choice of a Gascoin Lacquey nam'd Tosilos to supply his Place and gave him Instructions how to act his Part. Two Days after the Duke acquainted Don Quixote that within four Days his Antagonist would meet him in the Lists arm'd at all Points like a Knight to maintain that the Damsel ly'd through the Throat and through the Beard to say that he had ever promis'd her Marriage Don Quixote was mightily pleas'd with this News promising himself to do Wonders on this Occasion and esteeming it an extraordinary Happiness to have such an Opportunity to shew before such Noble Spectators how extensive were his Valour and his Strength Cheer'd and elevated with these Hopes he waited for the End of these four Days which his eager Impatience made him think so many Ages Well now letting them pass as we do other Matters let us a while attend Sancho who divided betwixt Joy and Sorrow was now on his Dapple making the best of his Way to his Master whose Company he valu'd more than the Government of all the Islands in the World He had not gone far from his Island or City or Town or whatever you will please to call it for he never troubl'd himself to examine what it was before he met upon the Road six Pilgrims with their walking Staves Foreigners as they prov'd and such as us'd to beg Alms singing As they drew near him they plac'd themselves in a Row and fell a singing all together in their Language something that Sancho could not understand unless it were one Word which plainly signify'd Alms by which he guess'd that Charity was the Burthen and Intent of their Song Being exceeding charitable as Cid Hamet reports him he open'd his Wallet and having taken out half a Loaf and half a Cheese gave 'em that making Signs withal that he had nothing else to give ' em They took the Dole with a good will but yet not satisfi'd they cry'd Guelt Guelt Good People quoth Sancho I don't understand what you would have With that one of 'em pull'd out a Purse that was in his Bosom and shew'd it to Sancho by which he understood that 't was Money they wanted But he putting his Thumb to his Mouth and wagging his Hand with his four Fingers upwards made a Sign that he had not a Cross and so clapping his Heels to Dapple's Sides he began to make way through the Pilgrims but at the same time one of 'em who had been looking on him very earnestly laid hold on him and throwing his Arms about his Middle Bless me cry'd he in very good Spanish What do I see Is it possible Do I hold in my Arms my dear Friend my good Neighbour Sancho Pança Yes sure it must be he for I am neither drunk nor dreaming Sancho wondring to hear himself call'd by his Name and to see himself so lovingly hugg'd by the Pilgrim star'd upon him without speaking a Word but tho' he look'd seriously in his Face a good while he could not guess who he was The Pilgrim observing his Amazement What said