fold_n 1._o â—o_o let_v go_v sin_n not_o only_o in_o action_n but_o â—n_a affection_n also_o and_o 2._o to_o lay_v hold_n on_o christ_n as_o one_o undo_v without_o he_o thus_o come_v this_o bless_a soul_n to_o be_v break_v off_o from_o the_o wild_a olive_n rom._n 11.24_o in_o his_o let_n go_v and_o â—aying_v down_o of_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o by_o grace_n become_v graft_v â—nto_o that_o bless_a and_o bleed_a vine_n â—he_v lord_n jesus_n john_n 15.1_o 2._o who_o ever_o after_o his_o happy_a graft_v time_n become_v a_o fruit_n bear_v branch_n have_v juice_n and_o nourishment_n administer_v abundant_o to_o he_o from_o the_o â—ree_a of_o life_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o sequel_n will_v manifest_v in_o almost_o unparallelled_a instance_n thus_o far_o in_o short_a for_o his_o experience_n in_o his_o first_o conversion_n now_o come_v we_o to_o treat_v more_o large_o of_o his_o whole_a conversation_n some_o part_n whereoâ—_n shall_v be_v reduce_v to_o the_o three_o follow_a head_n his_o exercise_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n which_o he_o attainâ—â—_n unto_o etc._n etc._n chap._n ii_o now_o after_o his_o thorough_a aâ—â—_n sound_a conversion_n follow_v 〈◊〉_d holy_a conversation_n which_o appearâ—â—_n to_o be_v much_o in_o heaven_n by_o his_o converse_v so_o much_o with_o god_n and_o with_o 〈◊〉_d own_o heart_n in_o his_o due_a preparation_n for_o and_o true_a participation_n of_o thâ—â—_n great_a of_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n sâ—â—per_v as_o be_v manifest_a by_o those_o experience_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n upon_o that_o subject_n which_o with_o no_o small_a trouble_n yet_o with_o great_a delight_n be_v here_o transcribe_v now_o that_o he_o be_v breed_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n by_o his_o effectual_a call_n he_o find_v and_o feel_v a_o necessity_n that_o he_o must_v also_o be_v feed_v so_o ask_v council_n about_o the_o concern_v of_o his_o soul_n and_o learn_v those_o divine_a lesson_n which_o he_o record_v as_o 1._o the_o lord_n supper_n be_v so_o call_v because_o our_o lord_n ordain_v it_o at_o his_o last_o supper_n instead_o of_o the_o passover_n 2._o it_o be_v the_o duty_n of_o beleiver_n to_o receive_v it_o else_o they_o do_v slight_a his_o love_n and_o disobey_v his_o command_n 3._o and_o to_o receive_v it_o often_o according_a to_o christ_n command_n and_o the_o apostle_n practice_n 4._o that_o be_v dull_a and_o doubt_v under_o my_o spiritual_a want_n say_v he_o i_o must_v give_v all_o diligence_n toprepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n all_o be_v natural_o unfit_a god_n will_v come_v and_o view_v his_o guest_n i_o have_v to_o do_v with_o the_o son_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n 5._o this_o preparation_n must_v be_v make_v by_o a_o narrow_a search_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n concern_v my_o sin_n my_o want_n and_o my_o grace_n and_o by_o fervent_a and_o solemn_a prayer_n 6._o the_o grace_n i_o must_v go_v to_o god_n and_o get_v from_o he_o be_v knowledge_n faith_n love_n repentance_n and_o new_a obedience_n 7._o i_o must_v have_v knowledge_n for_o without_o it_o the_o heart_n can_v be_v good_a nor_o can_v i_o know_v myself_o nor_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n i_o must_v know_v how_o man_n be_v create_v and_o how_o he_o fall_v and_o i_o in_o he_o how_o we_o be_v recover_v by_o christ_n how_o renew_v after_o the_o image_n of_o god_n in_o knowledge_n etc._n etc._n till_o then_o my_o understanding_n be_v dark_a and_o ignorant_a my_o conscience_n benumb_v my_o affection_n out_o of_o order_n and_o set_v upon_o wrong_a object_n my_o memory_n brittle_a my_o eye_n full_a of_o adultery_n and_o my_o whole_a frame_n out_o of_o frame_n the_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n will_v help_v to_o break_v my_o heart_n that_o such_o a_o filthy_a lump_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o be_o shall_v see_v and_o feel_v the_o arm_n of_o christ_n embrace_v i_o 8._o i_o must_v have_v faith_n whereby_o i_o may_v hearty_o receive_v he_o as_o my_o lord_n and_o redeemer_n and_o rely_v upon_o he_o alone_o both_o for_o safety_n and_o salvation_n without_o faith_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a to_o please_v god_n and_o i_o may_v not_o displease_v he_o at_o his_o own_o table_n when_o i_o go_v thither_o for_o the_o food_n of_o my_o soul_n 9_o i_o must_v have_v repentance_n because_o i_o must_v judge_v myself_o that_o i_o be_v not_o judge_v i_o must_v both_o mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o turn_v from_o sin_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n etc._n etc._n 10._o i_o must_v have_v love_n too_o because_o the_o apostle_n say_v without_o love_v all_o be_v nothing_o it_o be_v uncomfortable_a to_o sit_v down_o at_o the_o table_n of_o a_o enemy_n who_o we_o love_v not_o and_o who_o love_v not_o we_o but_o it_o be_v dreadful_a and_o dangerous_a to_o sit_v down_o in_o our_o enmity_n 11._o i_o must_v have_v new_a obedience_n also_o else_o i_o come_v in_o my_o rebellion_n and_o for_o some_o sinister_a end_n not_o out_o of_o obedience_n i_o must_v here_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n and_o be_v as_o serious_a as_o if_o i_o be_v to_o die_v both_o in_o beg_v to_o be_v rid_v of_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v the_o peace_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o have_v that_o mercy_n which_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n etc._n etc._n 12._o i_o must_v quicken_v and_o draw_v forth_o into_o act_n all_o these_o forename_a habit_n of_o grace_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n there_o meditate_v upon_o the_o great_a work_n of_o man_n redemption_n god_n severity_n against_o sin_n in_o the_o death_n of_o my_o surety_n &_o saviour_n the_o preciousness_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o cost_v such_o a_o price_n and_o the_o privilege_n purchase_v for_o i_o thereby_o for_o which_o i_o must_v be_v thankful_a etc._n etc._n have_v thus_o solemn_o prepare_v his_o soul_n for_o this_o great_a and_o tremendous_a ordinance_n from_o july_n 22._o 1681._o to_o august_n the_o 7h_n before_o he_o be_v yet_o twenty_o year_n old_a he_o sit_v down_o the_o first_o time_n upon_o that_o day_n at_o the_o lord_n table_n upon_o this_o first_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v august_n the_o seven_o thus_o he_o write_v before_o i_o sit_v down_o and_o at_o my_o first_o approach_n to_o the_o table_n something_o of_o fear_n and_o tremble_v seize_v upon_o i_o but_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v some_o sweet_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o see_v he_o by_o faith_n how_o he_o stand_v with_o his_o arm_n wide_o open_a to_o receive_v i_o and_o how_o he_o be_v pierce_v that_o the_o blood_n come_v out_o of_o his_o bless_a and_o bleed_a side_n i_o have_v then_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o god_n through_o my_o redeemer_n and_o of_o his_o bless_a angel_n this_o be_v ravish_v and_o oh_o how_o refresh_a but_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n inflame_v enough_o with_o love_n to_o christ_n i_o lay_v open_v my_o sin_n and_o beg_v the_o pardon_n of_o they_o may_v be_v seal_v i_o promise_v to_o live_v up_o to_o this_o obligation_n etc._n etc._n concern_v the_o second_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v sept._n 4._o 1681._o he_o give_v this_o account_n i_o have_v not_o due_o prepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n and_o ordinanance_n but_o bless_v for_o ever_o bless_a be_v the_o lord_n who_o do_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_a to_o my_o unpreparedness_n which_o if_o he_o have_v do_v i_o have_v not_o be_v here_o but_o be_v banish_v from_o his_o presence_n and_o so_o be_v under_o the_o death_n of_o death_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o himself_o which_o i_o esteem_v above_o life_n and_o likewise_o a_o sight_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n confer_v about_o man_n redemption_n i_o see_v the_o lord_n as_o it_o be_v say_v come_v you_o holy_a angel_n behold_v man_n be_v fall_v see_v if_o you_o can_v find_v a_o way_n for_o his_o recovery_n which_o they_o can_v not_o but_o christ_n take_v upon_o he_o man_n salvation_n and_o i_o see_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v in_o hell_n where_o i_o have_v for_o ever_o lay_v but_o christ_n come_v and_o draw_v i_o out_o than_o i_o embrace_v he_o as_o my_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n and_o become_v willing_a to_o forsake_v the_o world_n and_o all_o for_o christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v do_v it_o more_o and_o more_o and_o never_o have_v this_o frame_n wear_v off_o but_o that_o while_o i_o be_o below_o with_o my_o body_n my_o soul_n may_v be_v above_o with_o my_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o three_o sacrament_n be_v october_n 2d_o 1681._o on_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o as_o the_o minister_n in_o administer_a be_v say_v so_o that_o you_o be_v unfeigned_o willing_a to_o receive_v christ_n and_o who_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v but_o he_o i_o bid_v come_v and_o welcome_a
to_o take_v he_o than_o be_v my_o thought_n fix_v upon_o christ_n though_o they_o have_v be_v wander_v two_o day_n before_o and_o i_o have_v lose_v my_o belove_a yet_o nothing_o can_v give_v i_o peace_n till_o i_o here_o find_v he_o and_o sweet_a communion_n with_o he_o wherein_o i_o hear_v he_o say_v to_o my_o soul_n thy_o sin_n small_a and_o great_a be_v pardon_v and_o thy_o pardon_n be_v seal_v i_o see_v as_o it_o be_v his_o precious_a blood_n spurt_v out_o of_o his_o side_n into_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o soul_n ever_o for_o ever_o love_v this_o lovely_a lord_n admire_v and_o adore_v he_o who_o have_v seal_v thy_o pardon_n never_o sin_n more_o but_o walk_v suitable_o to_o all_o this_o etc._n etc._n the_o four_o sacrament_n be_v november_n 6._o 1681_o whereof_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n because_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a sin_n such_o as_o pride_n that_o i_o have_v long_o groan_v under_o which_o make_v i_o long_o for_o the_o sprinkle_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n blood_n to_o wash_v they_o away_o i_o be_v also_o pester_v with_o passion_n as_o well_o as_o pride_n with_o unbelief_n with_o wander_a thought_n and_o some_o time_n with_o blasphemy_n o_o curse_a curse_a sin_n and_o o_o wicked_a wicked_a heart_n once_o to_o think_v whether_o god_n be_v or_o no_o when_o thou_o have_v have_v such_o clear_a evidence_n of_o a_o deity_n these_o be_v my_o five_o deadly_a odious_a sin_n which_o i_o beg_v may_v be_v purge_v from_o i_o o_o that_o i_o may_v never_o see_v nor_o feel_v they_o more_o at_o this_o ordinance_n i_o find_v relief_n and_o feel_v the_o wine_n fall_v down_o low_o and_o low_o i_o desire_v it_o may_v carry_v of_o all_o my_o filth_n so_o as_o to_o leave_v none_o remain_v and_o there_o do_v i_o resolve_v through_o grace_n to_o leave_v those_o five_o sin_n and_o never_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v with_o they_o etc._n etc._n the_o five_o sacrament_n be_v december_n 4._o 1681._o wherein_n say_v he_o i_o do_v again_o lay_v my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n fear_v their_o return_n upon_o i_o do_v desire_v a_o meek_a and_o humble_a heart_n against_o my_o pride_n and_o passion_n i_o do_v again_o resign_v myself_o to_o god_n have_v break_v covenant_n with_o he_o and_o beg_v with_o the_o syrophaenician_a woman_n to_o touch_v the_o hem_o of_o christ_n garment_n that_o i_o may_v be_v cleanse_v from_o my_o issue_n of_o sin_n but_o can_v not_o at_o that_o instant_n get_v so_o nigh_o he_o but_o afterward_o have_v i_o a_o clear_a representation_n of_o christ_n suffering_n in_o the_o garden_n where_o he_o bear_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n sweat_a drop_n of_o blood_n through_o his_o clothes_n in_o a_o cold_a season_n so_o that_o he_o come_v as_o from_o bozra_n with_o die_v garment_n than_o i_o see_v the_o crown_n of_o thorn_n upon_o his_o head_n and_o his_o head_n beat_v with_o the_o soldier_n iron-glove_n which_o make_v the_o thorn_n wound_v his_o holy_a head_n in_o 72._o place_n so_o that_o the_o blood_n run_v down_o upon_o his_o body_n i_o see_v also_o the_o heavy_a weight_n of_o the_o cross_n lay_v upon_o he_o and_o how_o he_o be_v spit_v upon_o revile_v and_o deride_v this_o bless_a sight_n prevent_v wander_v thought_n till_o the_o last_o prayer_n though_o i_o do_v not_o deserve_v the_o least_o crumb_n of_o comfort_n for_o unpreparedness_n to_o so_o great_a a_o work_n which_o have_v god_n deal_v out_o my_o desert_n will_v have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o hell_n etc._n etc._n the_o six_o sacrament_n he_o do_v partake_v of_o be_v january_n the_o first_o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o make_v these_o remark_n i_o have_v be_v some_o day_n before_o more_o than_o ordinary_a in_o my_o preparation_n and_o prayer_n for_o a_o profitable_a receive_n and_o when_o i_o come_v to_o it_o i_o be_v sore_o afraid_a that_o i_o shall_v lay_v stress_n upon_o preparatory_a act_n therefore_o beg_v i_o of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_o i_o labour_v to_o act_v my_o requisite_a grace_n as_o 1._o repentance_n lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n all_o my_o old_a year_n sin_n to_o that_o new-year_n day_n and_o labour_v to_o mourn_v for_o they_o more_o than_o former_o especial_o for_o my_o deadly_a deadly_a sin_n spiritual_a pride_n passionateness_n wander_v thought_n in_o holy_a duty_n unbeleif_n worldliness_n etc._n etc._n and_o i_o hope_v god_n give_v there_o both_o pardon_n of_o they_o and_o power_n against_o they_o 2._o my_o thankfulness_n i_o actuate_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v for_o so_o rich_a a_o mercy_n beg_v for_o it_o both_o hard_a and_o always_o 3._o my_o love_n though_o i_o have_v much_o too_o little_a experience_v the_o sweet_a kiss_n of_o christ_n mouth_n and_o embrace_n of_o his_o love_n i_o see_v christ_n on_o the_o cross_n embrace_v i_o as_o well_o as_o i_o he_o and_o say_v to_o god_n i_o have_v pay_v a_o ransom_n for_o he_o this_o man_n be_v he_o etc._n etc._n this_o be_v so_o sweet_a that_o i_o can_v embrace_v the_o stake_n or_o even_o go_v into_o hell_n so_o i_o may_v thus_o enjoy_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v and_o when_o i_o hear_v the_o minister_n say_v mourn_v for_o your_o sin_n that_o murder_v your_o lord_n i_o answer_v within_o myself_o how_o can_v the_o child_n of_o the_o bride_n mourn_v while_o the_o bridegroom_n be_v with_o they_o twice_o do_v wander_v thought_n offer_v themselves_o but_o be_v by_o grace_n suppress_v at_o the_o first_o rise_n have_v now_o oblige_v my_o understanding_n will_n memory_n affection_n conscience_n yea_o all_o to_o attend_v god_n service_n while_o thus_o fill_v with_o this_o enjoyment_n i_o long_v to_o be_v in_o heaven_n and_o desire_v that_o welcome_a welcome_o friend_n death_n that_o i_o may_v sing_v with_o the_o holy_a saint_n and_o angel_n hallelujah_n to_o to_o the_o lord_n then_o say_v i_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v nothing_o draw_v thy_o love_n from_o thy_o lord_n for_o the_o world_n friend_n relation_n pleasure_n profit_n all_o thing_n put_v together_o can_v never_o give_v such_o joy_n to_o thou_o as_o thou_o have_v find_v from_o lovely_a lovely_a jesus_n in_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n therefore_o lay_v not_o out_o thy_o love_n upon_o any_o thing_n beside_o he_o who_o have_v do_v and_o be_v do_v great_a thing_n yea_o and_o will_v do_v great_a for_o thou_o such_o be_v my_o warm_n warm_a love_n at_o this_o supper_n the_o seven_o sacrament_n be_v february_n the_o 3._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o remark_n thus_o when_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o full_o fix_v by_o my_o new_a year_n day_n sacrament_n but_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o strive_v i_o be_v yet_o trouble_v with_o distraction_n in_o duty_n i_o long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n very_o much_o and_o think_v it_o long_o till_o it_o come_v that_o account_n may_v be_v make_v even_o between_o god_n and_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o be_v dull_a for_o 2._o or_o 3._o duty_n before_o and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n raise_v whereby_o i_o see_v that_o i_o deserve_v nothing_o though_o wander_v thought_n press_v upon_o i_o yet_o be_v they_o cut_v short_a 2_o or_o 3_o time_n &_o i_o find_v relief_n from_o those_o sin_n i_o have_v lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o forego_n sacrament_n i_o bewail_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o distraction_n my_o deadness_n and_o coldness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o at_o this_o sacrament_n my_o dear_a redeemer_n meet_v i_o &_o say_v to_o i_o i_o have_v pardon_v those_o thy_o sin_n at_o thy_o request_n this_o much_o affect_a and_o inlve_v i_o in_o love_n to_o he_o see_v he_o then_o as_o it_o be_v come_v from_o heaven_n to_o the_o earth_n and_o from_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n shed_v his_o precious_a blood_n for_o i_o and_o from_o the_o cross_n into_o glory_n and_o methinks_v christ_n say_v to_o i_o go_v sin_n these_o your_o sin_n no_o more_o which_o oblige_v i_o to_o a_o close_a walk_n and_o to_o be_v more_o watchful_a than_o before_o all_o this_o month_n the_o lord_n keep_v i_o from_o pride_n but_o alas_o my_o other_o sin_n return_v to_o foil_v i_o the_o eight_o sacrament_n be_v march_n 5._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o this_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a communion_n with_o god_n before_o it_o and_o have_v not_o have_v a_o sweet_a season_n for_o a_o long_a time_n which_o make_v i_o long_o till_o it_o come_v in_o this_o ordinance_n i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n as_o it_o be_v dead_a with_o a_o company_n of_o holy_a angel_n hold_v of_o he_o and_o a_o great_a darkness_n over_o all_o the_o place_n this_o be_v grief_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o present_o he_o that_o be_v dead_a i_o see_v he_o alive_a again_o and_o come_v into_o the_o midst_n of_o we_o to_o see_v
what_o we_o come_v for_o i_o go_v to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o methinks_v that_o my_o soul_n love_v he_o and_o i_o be_v come_v to_o meet_v he_o for_o strength_n against_o corruption_n and_o by_o his_o help_n i_o can_v forsake_v the_o world_n and_o sin_n which_o i_o hate_v to_o enjoy_v he_o etc._n etc._n then_o he_o tell_v i_o my_o pride_n shall_v not_o prevail_v against_o i_o this_o month_n nor_o my_o other_o sin_n but_o by_o own_o neglect_n this_o be_v sweet_a and_o refresh_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o this_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o the_o devil_n great_a rage_n against_o i_o as_o appear_v by_o my_o diary_n march_v 14._o yet_o can_v he_o not_o prevail_v but_o christ_n keep_v his_o promise_n in_o keep_v i_o from_o pride_n etc._n etc._n oh_o what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n who_o i_o see_v here_o again_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n to_o the_o grave_a and_o to_o heaven_n again_o and_o all_o this_o to_o save_v my_o soul_n here_o sin_n be_v make_v more_o odious_a christ_n more_o dear_a and_o here_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o nine_o sacrament_n be_v april_n the_o second_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o say_v thus_o some_o time_n before_o this_o i_o be_v in_o a_o dull_a frame_n by_o the_o hurry_v of_o our_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n as_o may_v be_v see_v by_o my_o diary_n little_a life_n can_v i_o find_v till_o the_o noon_n before_o that_o day_n than_o have_v i_o the_o presence_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n and_o measure_n after_o this_o wander_a thought_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n unsuitable_a to_o so_o sweet_a a_o supper_n seize_v upon_o i_o but_o by_o run_v over_o again_o the_o same_o circumstance_n of_o my_o saviour_n suffering_n especial_o his_o agony_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o all_o for_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o i_o find_v relief_n get_v hatred_n of_o my_o sin_n beg_v pardon_n of_o they_o and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o get_v power_n against_o they_o yet_o wander_a thought_n 4_o or_o 5_o time_n do_v trouble_v i_o but_o by_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o overcome_v they_o and_o hope_v to_o have_v my_o pardon_n seal_v and_o to_o have_v power_n for_o the_o future_a for_o watch_v better_a against_o they_o and_o against_o my_o deadness_n and_o break_v my_o covenant_n etc._n etc._n which_o make_v i_o long_o to_o quit_v the_o world_n whereupon_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o i_o shall_v short_o be_v free_v from_o all_o sin_n yet_o in_o this_o sacrament_n i_o have_v the_o least_o communion_n with_o god_n than_o in_o any_o before_o but_o still_o much_o more_o infinite_o more_o than_o i_o deserve_v who_o sure_a i_o be_o deserve_v not_o the_o least_o mercy_n the_o ten_o sacrament_n be_v may_n 7._o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o i_o have_v not_o long_a desire_n after_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n have_v lose_v much_o of_o my_o life_n i_o have_v in_o duty_n before_o through_o much_o hurry_v of_o our_o worldly_a affair_n this_o morning_n i_o wrestle_v with_o god_n but_o have_v not_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n which_o make_v i_o think_v of_o not_o go_v yet_o consider_v that_o be_v not_o the_o way_n to_o be_v better_a i_o venture_v but_o find_v no_o life_n at_o first_o yet_o a_o little_a after_o i_o feel_v some_o reach_v after_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n this_o make_v i_o resolve_v to_o walk_v more_o close_o for_o the_o future_a after_o this_o it_o please_v god_n to_o come_v in_o out_o of_o his_o free_a love_n and_o to_o give_v i_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o sweet_a saviour_n go_v to_o his_o cross_n and_o i_o follow_v he_o and_o lay_v myself_o down_o at_o his_o foot_n when_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o then_o have_v i_o plain_a vision_n of_o my_o lovely_a lord_n ascension_n and_o his_o angel_n look_v upon_o he_o whereat_o i_o find_v much_o go_n out_o of_o my_o soul_n after_o he_o yet_o wander_v thought_n do_v trouble_v i_o for_o i_o have_v not_o bring_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n before_o the_o lord_n so_o as_o to_o be_v deep_o humble_v for_o they_o the_o eleven_o sacrament_n be_v june_n 4_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o he_o remark_n thus_o i_o have_v no_o time_n be_v very_o bad_a in_o my_o preparation_n for_o this_o bless_a sacrament_n so_o doubt_v whether_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o it_o but_o fear_v it_o may_v be_v the_o last_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v in_o peace_n i_o then_o go_v yet_o it_o prove_v the_o worst_a i_o ever_o yet_o have_v i_o hardly_o feel_v any_o moving_n of_o affection_n only_o a_o little_a mourning_n for_o my_o breach_n of_o covenant_n my_o coldness_n and_o deadness_n etc._n etc._n have_v a_o little_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n but_o o_o my_o misery_n for_o not_o keep_v my_o engagement_n make_v in_o the_o forego_n ordinance_n whereby_o i_o fear_v the_o holy_a spirit_n be_v grieve_v and_o sin_v away_o o_o sad_a sad_a lamentable_a deplorable_a be_v my_o state_n when_o i_o have_v sin_v my_o god_n from_o i_o my_o condition_n be_v wretched_a now_o and_o without_o more_o care_n it_o may_v yet_o be_v much_o worse_o the_o twelve_o sacrament_n be_v on_o july_n second_o 1682._o whereupon_o he_o note_v thus_o i_o be_v but_o little_a in_o preparation_n in_o order_n to_o my_o participation_n of_o this_o holy_a ordinance_n yet_o much_o more_o than_o on_o the_o last_o on_o friday_n morning_n before_o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n presence_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o take_v a_o catalogue_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o have_v break_v my_o vow_n with_o god_n it_o be_v just_a with_o he_o to_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_z o_o my_o deadly_a sin_n get_v again_o too_o much_o advantage_n against_o i_o yet_o praise_v be_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o my_o god_n i_o have_v his_o presence_n in_o this_o ordinance_n and_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n go_v along_o bear_v his_o heavy_a cross_n and_o his_o suffer_v thereupon_o and_o when_o his_o side_n be_v pierce_v methinks_v i_o stand_v under_o and_o his_o precious_a blood_n do_v drop_v down_o upon_o i_o but_o still_o i_o be_v too_o little_o grieve_v for_o sin_n and_o have_v 3._o time_n wander_n which_o through_o grace_n pass_v away_o as_o the_o wine_n go_v down_o i_o desire_v my_o sin_n may_v be_v purge_v away_o and_o renew_v my_o resolve_n of_o walk_v better_o both_o before_o and_o in_o this_o sacrament_n design_v to_o shelter_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o hole_n of_o his_o bless_a side_n that_o be_v pierce_v as_o the_o dove_n do_v in_o the_o hole_n of_o the_o rock_n the_o thirteen_o sacrament_n be_v august_n 6._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o record_v thus_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n have_v make_v menegligent_a before_o it_o yet_o do_v i_o try_v myself_o by_o my_o catalogue_n of_o sin_n draw_v up_o in_o february_n before_o such_o as_o pride_n whereof_o i_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n breach_n of_o covenant_n whereof_o i_o be_v great_o guilty_a wander_n dullness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o then_o another_o great_a one_o the_o neglect_n of_o self_n trial_n after_o my_o vow_n &_o renew_a covenant_n to_o do_v it_o after_o sacrament_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v much_o sweetness_n i_o can_v not_o still_o call_v myself_o to_o a_o strict_a account_n nor_o actuate_v my_o repentance_n as_o become_v a_o worthy_a receiver_n though_o my_o sin_n be_v many_o and_o great_a at_o my_o first_o sit_v down_o i_o have_v but_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n but_o after_o god_n show_v i_o something_o of_o himself_o than_o have_v i_o some_o sorrow_n of_o soul_n and_o something_o of_o my_o dear_a lord_n but_o once_o god_n seem_v to_o come_v out_o in_o fury_n towards_o i_o yet_o methinks_v i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n stop_v it_o here_o again_o i_o lay_v under_o the_o cross_n to_o be_v wash_v from_o my_o sin_n and_o do_v see_v as_o before_o christ_n come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o hiâ—_n cross_n and_o to_o his_o grave_a and_o from_o thence_o into_o glory_n this_o i_o view_v with_o a_o little_a oh_o too_o little_a life_n than_o the_o devil_n tempt_v i_o to_o make_v no_o new_a engagement_n of_o reformation_n but_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o and_o i_o hearken_v not_o to_o the_o tempter_n about_o 4._o time_n wander_n come_v but_o through_o grace_n they_o continue_v not_o yet_o have_v i_o small_a act_n of_o love_n and_o out-going_n of_o soul_n after_o my_o god_n and_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n the_o fourteen_o sacrament_n be_v september_n 3._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o observe_v thus_o i_o have_v but_o little_a of_o god_n some_o time_n before_o this_o till_o saturday_n night_n though_o i_o have_v be_v much_o in_o preparation_n yet_o my_o god_n come_v not_o in_o till_o then_o and_o indeed_o i_o
see_v much_o sin_n in_o my_o best_a service_n so_o beg_v god_n will_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o as_o i_o deserve_v which_o will_v have_v be_v hell_n and_o destruction_n but_o come_v to_o partake_v i_o have_v great_a hope_n of_o his_o presence_n so_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v plead_v with_o god_n my_o last_o year_n engagement_n than_o find_v i_o some_o reviving_n and_o hear_v the_o two_o great_a point_n of_o the_o covenant_n that_o god_n will_v be_v our_o god_n &_o we_o shall_v be_v his_o people_n open_v then_o do_v i_o resign_v up_o myself_o to_o god_n with_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a resignation_n my_o end_n in_o come_v to_o this_o ordinance_n be_v to_o geâ—_n the_o partition_n wall_n betwixt_o i_o &_o my_o god_n cast_v down_o which_o i_o hope_v be_v attain_v my_o pride_n and_o other_o sin_n be_v pardon_v provide_v i_o do_v not_o run_v into_o they_o again_o i_o cleave_v close_o to_o christ_n and_o will_v not_o let_v he_o go_v without_o his_o blessing_n which_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n give_v i_o though_o satan_n present_v many_o thing_n to_o prevent_v i_o thereof_o the_o lord_n say_v here_o to_o i_o i_o will_v he_o thy_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n say_v i_o do_v engage_v to_o he_o one_o of_o thy_o people_n leave_v all_o that_o come_v in_o competition_n with_o my_o sweet_a saviour_n etc._n etc._n the_o fifteen_o sacrament_n be_v october_n 5._o 1682._o he_o begin_v thus_o blessing_n praise_n and_o honour_n be_v ascribe_v unto_o my_o god_n and_o redeemer_n who_o have_v neither_o forget_v nor_o forsake_v i_o though_o i_o do_v deserve_v it_o and_o god_n wrath_n too_o for_o my_o manifold_a sin_n whereof_o murmur_v in_o some_o measure_n i_o be_o afraid_a be_v one_o &_o seek_v praise_n among_o man_n be_v another_o though_o sense_n of_o sin_n have_v too_o little_o be_v upon_o my_o heart_n this_o last_o month_n yet_o now_o be_v it_o more_o than_o usual_a but_o less_o than_o my_o sin_n require_v i_o plead_v with_o god_n that_o he_o command_v i_o to_o believe_v to_o this_o i_o have_v great_a comfort_n return_v and_o after_o much_o struggle_v the_o lord_n assure_v i_o my_o sin_n be_v pardon_v then_o have_v i_o such_o representation_n of_o my_o redeemer_n as_o i_o have_v oft_o before_o when_o god_n justice_n implead_v i_o for_o my_o sin_n my_o sweet_a saviour_n do_v then_o answer_n i_o have_v dye_v and_o satisfy_v for_o he_o at_o this_o the_o devil_n envy_v tell_v i_o all_o this_o be_v but_o a_o fable_n and_o will_v have_v divert_v i_o but_o by_o grace_n i_o overcome_v he_o o_o how_o be_o i_o oblige_v to_o love_n god_n who_o have_v give_v i_o smile_n when_o i_o deserve_v nothing_o but_o frown_n shall_v not_o i_o be_v more_o careful_a to_o please_v he_o and_o more_o fearful_a to_o offend_v he_o he_o end_v as_o he_o begin_v blessing_n praise_n and_o honour_n be_v to_o my_o god_n and_o my_o redeemer_n for_o ever_o etc._n etc._n the_o sixteenth_o sacrament_n be_v november_n 5._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v break_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n for_o the_o last_o month_n by_o fall_v into_o these_o sin_n i_o engage_v and_o resolve_v against_o before_o dulness_n in_o duty_n and_o distraction_n return_v upon_o i_o have_v not_o strive_v so_o much_o against_o they_o as_o i_o shall_v and_o have_v little_a communion_n with_o god_n my_o deadly_a sin_n prevail_v wherefore_o nothing_o but_o fearful_a look_v for_o of_o judgement_n be_v before_o i_o be_v remiss_a in_o my_o preparation_n yet_o god_n deal_v not_o with_o i_o according_a to_o my_o desert_n for_o than_o have_v i_o be_v set_v up_o as_o a_o monument_n of_o divine_a displeasure_n among_o man_n but_o before_o i_o sit_v down_o i_o strive_v to_o raise_v my_o repentance_n yet_o can_v not_o mourn_v as_o my_o case_n require_v i_o plead_v god_n promise_n that_o his_o son_n be_v send_v to_o save_v such_o as_o i_o be_o etc._n etc._n i_o run_v over_o christ_n suffering_n in_o my_o mind_n particular_o and_o seat_v my_o soul_n at_o the_o foot_n of_o my_o bleed_a saviour_n on_o the_o cross_n that_o his_o precious_a blood_n may_v cleanse_v away_o all_o my_o load_n of_o sin_n i_o do_v justify_v god_n in_o all_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o and_o his_o withdrawment_n from_o i_o than_o do_v i_o receive_v christ_n as_o my_o king_n resolve_v to_o forsake_v all_o for_o he_o and_o to_o follow_v he_o through_o all_o some_o wander_n trouble_v i_o in_o christ_n wine-cellar_n but_o be_v soon_o cut_v off_o etc._n etc._n as_o to_o the_o sacrament_n in_o december_n he_o acknowledge_v his_o omission_n of_o it_o by_o his_o own_o negligence_n and_o folly_n the_o seventeen_o sacrament_n be_v on_o january_n 7._o 1681_o 3._o where_o he_o write_v thus_o i_o do_v endeavour_v to_o prepare_v yet_o but_o alittle_o for_o this_o great_a ordinance_n and_o can_v not_o for_o a_o long_a time_n get_v my_o affection_n inflame_v as_o former_o with_o love_n to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n however_o i_o cast_v my_o sin_n at_o his_o foot_n to_o be_v wash_v away_o that_o the_o difference_n may_v be_v take_v up_o and_o god_n may_v reconcile_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n again_o which_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n be_v hopeful_o accomplish_v i_o do_v bewail_v my_o fearful_a break_a covenant_n the_o return_n of_o my_o multitude_n of_o sin_n especial_o my_o deadly_a sin_n pride_n i_o again_o view_v over_o distinct_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n how_o he_o be_v scourge_v etc._n etc._n and_o all_o for_o poor_a i_o this_o set_v i_o upon_o mourning_n but_o i_o can_v not_o shed_v tear_n yet_o complain_v of_o the_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o beg_v that_o christ_n precious_a blood_n may_v both_o soften_v and_o cleanse_v it_o than_o i_o think_v i_o see_v christ_n upon_o the_o cross_n stoop_v to_o i_o and_o give_v i_o his_o hand_n when_o he_o see_v i_o can_v not_o get_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o he_o hereupon_o i_o clasp_v about_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o have_v reconcile_v god_n to_o i_o than_o i_o resolve_v in_o his_o strength_n never_o to_o fin_n in_o the_o like_a manner_n any_o more_o and_o be_v angry_a with_o myself_o for_o deal_v so_o unkind_o with_o so_o kind_a a_o father_n who_o have_v rather_o a_o sinner_n shall_v repent_v than_o die_v god_n be_v love_v to_o i_o who_o can_v look_v for_o nothing_o but_o fury_n in_o the_o high_a measure_n for_o my_o backslide_n my_o heart_n will_v have_v wander_v but_o by_o god_n goodness_n those_o wander_n be_v take_v short_a i_o here_o solemn_o engage_v to_o walk_v more_o close_o with_o god_n for_o the_o future_a all_o my_o say_v which_o if_o i_o do_v not_o o_o how_o great_a will_v be_v my_o sin_n how_o vast_a will_v be_v my_o unworthiness_n beyond_o what_o my_o tongue_n can_v express_v upon_o the_o whole_a as_o our_o lord_n say_v of_o the_o good_a centurion_n i_o have_v not_o find_v so_o great_a faith_n no_o not_o in_o all_o israel_n so_o â—m_n i_o like_v to_o say_v of_o this_o gracious_a youngman_n i_o have_v not_o find_v such_o savoury_a soul-experience_n on_o record_n â—o_o not_o in_o all_o england_n this_o will_v further_o more_o full_o appear_v by_o the_o sequel_n in_o his_o exercise_n self_n examination_n and_o evidence_n chap._n iii_o after_o his_o experience_n come_v in_o the_o second_o place_n his_o exercise_n which_o be_v twofold_a first_o concern_v â—iety_n second_o concern_v impiety_n both_o before_o his_o effectual_a vocation_n and_o after_o it_o those_o before_o he_o take_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n these_o memorial_n follow_v 1._o about_o the_o year_n 1671._o have_v read_v jehosephats_n life_n i_o be_v a_o little_a startle_v and_o grow_v melancholic_a that_o be_v the_o first_o time_n i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o pray_v and_o desire_v another_o to_o join_v with_o i_o in_o it_o but_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o can_v not_o pray_v without_o help_n of_o some_o form_n no_o more_o i_o say_v can_v i_o but_o use_v a_o form_n in_o a_o spell_a book_n which_o i_o pray_v often_o but_o very_o negligent_o then_o go_v to_o epson_n where_o i_o have_v a_o good_a master_n who_o pray_v morning_n and_o evening_n with_o his_o family_n and_o religious_o instruct_v we_o which_o do_v bring_v i_o to_o pray_v without_o a_o form_n yet_o can_v not_o dâ—_n it_o with_o seriousness_n though_o i_o be_v exhort_v to_o it_o both_o by_o my_o master_n and_o by_o 〈◊〉_d minister_n that_o come_v oft_o thither_o 〈◊〉_d this_o place_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v willing_a to_o heaâ—_n the_o word_n though_o i_o little_a mindeâ—_n what_o i_o hear_v till_o i_o read_v the_o pilgrim_n progress_n which_o make_v i_o again_o grow_v melancholic_a the_o former_a be_v wear_v off_o to_o the_o observation_n of_o other_o then_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n mr._n baxter_n call_v
to_o the_o unconvert_v which_o through_o grace_n show_v i_o the_o necessity_n of_o my_o conversion_n yet_o all_o this_o time_n never_o consult_v with_o any_o man_n about_o my_o sin_n but_o only_o confess_v they_o to_o god_n till_o i_o meet_v with_o mr._n hooker_n soul_n preparation_n for_o christ_n which_o convince_v i_o to_o advise_v with_o some_o godly_a minister_n hereupon_o i_o do_v address_v to_o one_o though_o a_o stranger_n to_o he_o say_v sir_n i_o can_v i_o dare_v not_o any_o long_o refrain_v have_v ask_v myself_o what_o fitness_n i_o have_v to_o die_v be_v answer_v i_o be_v unfit_a till_o i_o have_v ease_v my_o heart_n to_o you_o as_o follow_v 1._o when_o i_o be_v 7._o year_n old_a i_o tear_v my_o bible_n and_o cast_v away_o my_o catechism_n 2._o i_o have_v break_v the_o sabbath_n by_o ramble_v abroad_o play_v at_o farthing_n with_o naughty_a boy_n and_o wash_v myself_o in_o the_o field_n when_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v at_o the_o church_n etc._n etc._n 3._o by_o excuse_v my_o sin_n with_o a_o lie_n so_o add_v one_o sin_n to_o another_o for_o cover_v it_o 4._o nor_o have_v i_o be_v free_a from_o youthful_a lust_n which_o young_a timothy_n be_v bid_v to_o flee_v but_o my_o corrupt_a heart_n have_v have_v working_n after_o the_o act_n several_a time_n yet_o have_v be_v wonderful_o prevent_v by_o the_o advice_n of_o my_o godly_a sister_n who_o lay_v before_o i_o christ_n word_n mat._n 5.28_o whoever_o look_v on_o a_o woman_n to_o lust_n after_o she_o etc._n etc._n however_o i_o be_o guilty_a of_o heart-adultry_n yea_o 5._o i_o have_v err_v and_o laugh_v when_o i_o have_v hear_v the_o word_n preach_v with_o power_n etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o good_a minister_n give_v i_o grave_a council_n and_o comfort_n suitable_a to_o my_o penitent_a case_n and_o condition_n yet_o notwithstane_v all_o this_o i_o be_v not_o effectual_o call_v nor_o thorough_o convert_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n until_o afterward_o i_o hear_v that_o sermon_n upon_o mat._n 5.25_o 26._o as_o the_o account_n above_o mention_v specifi_v but_o alas_o in_o my_o apprenticeship_n through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n in_o our_o way_n of_o trade_v especial_o in_o may_n and_o june_n etc._n etc._n i_o become_v negligent_a of_o my_o close_a walk_v with_o god_n not_o mind_v as_o i_o may_v to_o continue_v in_o his_o love_n when_o god_n my_o adversary_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o i_o neglect_v daily_o self-examination_n or_o do_v it_o only_o to_o half_a part_n be_v dull_a and_o sleepy_a through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n at_o night_n than_o my_o old_a corruption_n get_v head_n again_o upon_o i_o i_o break_v my_o covenant_n make_v at_o the_o agreement_n with_o my_o adversary_n and_o i_o apostatise_v from_o these_o sweet_a thought_n i_o former_o have_v upon_o my_o god_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n for_o which_o have_v he_o not_o be_v gracious_a i_o have_v be_v damn_v and_o rot_v in_o hell_n for_o ever_o this_o consideration_n make_v i_o exclaim_v against_o myself_o say_v o_o silly_a soul_n to_o heed_n a_o perish_a die_a world_n before_o heaven_n such_o sadness_n and_o darkness_n seize_v on_o i_o at_o this_o time_n when_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n i_o find_v have_v be_v the_o substance_n of_o my_o thought_n and_o discourse_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o whither_o to_o go_v at_o last_o i_o turn_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v not_o take_v the_o forfeiture_n nor_o suffer_v i_o to_o run_v this_o ready_a way_n to_o utter_v destruction_n i_o cry_v lord_n it_o be_v just_a with_o thou_o to_o hurl_v mein_fw-ge to_o hell_n and_o into_o the_o hot_a place_n thereof_o and_o never_o wait_v long_o upon_o such_o a_o cumber-ground_n as_o i_o be_o but_o to_o thou_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n do_v i_o run_v for_o refuge_n as_o one_o that_o be_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a blind_a naked_a wretched_a and_o miserable_a a_o loathsome_a wretch_n unworthy_a to_o be_v call_v a_o servant_n much_o less_o a_o son_n have_v so_o wicked_o depart_v from_o my_o god_n yet_o through_o thou_o will_v i_o venture_v again_o to_o my_o god_n and_o by_o thy_o strength_n i_o will_v better_o mind_v my_o future_a walking_n o_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o die_v without_o thou_o o_o come_v in_o once_o again_o and_o let_v i_o feel_v once_o more_o what_o it_o be_v to_o have_v christ_n dwell_v in_o my_o soul_n o_o find_v a_o time_n of_o love_n wherein_o to_o disperse_v those_o dark_a cloud_n and_o shine_v upon_o my_o dead_a and_o darken_v soul_n o_o have_v my_o night_n no_o day_n it_o be_v a_o hell_n to_o i_o to_o be_v thrust_v away_o from_o god_n i_o know_v the_o cause_n be_v all_o at_o home_n my_o sin_n my_o sin_n o_o let_v it_o be_v do_v away_o then_o shall_v i_o recover_v the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n as_o former_o and_o in_o so_o do_v i_o do_v engage_v to_o amend_v my_o manner_n depend_v on_o thy_o help_n my_o hand_n be_v witness_n john_n draper_n now_o to_o bind_v his_o soul_n and_o slippery_a heart_n to_o god_n the_o better_a in_o observe_v this_o new_a engagement_n he_o write_v down_o many_o profitable_a rule_n in_o his_o pocket_n book_n as_o 1._o in_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o must_v lay_v all_o my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o resolve_n to_o forsake_v they_o 2._o i_o must_v look_v upon_o my_o sin_n of_o passion_n as_o a_o fever_n in_o my_o mind_n of_o lust_n as_o fire_n in_o my_o bone_n of_o pride_n as_o a_o fatal_a tympany_n in_o my_o soul_n of_o covetousness_n as_o a_o insatiable_a and_o unsufferable_a thirst_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o envy_n or_o malice_n as_o rank_a poison_n in_o the_o heart_n 3._o if_o i_o will_v run_v so_o as_o to_o obtain_v i_o must_v cast_v off_o all_o those_o weight_n or_o sin_n that_o do_v so_o easy_o beset_v i_o 4._o i_o must_v resolve_v to_o begin_v betimes_o the_o run_v of_o this_o race_n 5._o nor_o must_v i_o loiter_v in_o the_o way_n 6._o nor_o must_v i_o cumber_v myself_o with_o the_o needless_a encumbrance_n of_o the_o world_n 7._o i_o must_v look_v to_o every_o part_n of_o my_o way_n with_o equal_a care_n and_o observation_n 8._o nor_o must_v i_o ever_o think_v i_o have_v go_v far_o enough_o till_o i_o have_v obtain_v the_o prize_n 9_o and_o the_o further_o i_o have_v run_v in_o this_o race_n the_o more_o eager_a shall_v be_v to_o obtain_v the_o end_n 10._o i_o must_v always_o think_v that_o i_o be_o upon_o the_o brink_n of_o eternity_n and_o therefore_o shall_v give_v all_o diligence_n to_o make_v my_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a work_v out_o my_o salvation_n and_o make_v sure_a work_n for_o a_o better_a world_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o to_o be_v see_v no_o more_o 11._o i_o must_v ever_o come_v to_o god_n as_o to_o a_o soul-pittying_a a_o sin-pardoning_a and_o a_o prayer-hearing_a god_n 12._o i_o must_v be_v fervent_a in_o prayer_n yet_o submit_v to_o god_n soveraignâ—y_n 13._o occasion_n of_o be_v too_o â—ong_o alone_a be_v to_o be_v avoid_v so_o â—s_v strong_a drink_n and_o too_o full_a a_o diet_n 14._o i_o must_v be_v think_v oft_o death_n judgement_n hell_n and_o heaâ—en_n those_o four_o last_o thing_n 15._o i_o must_v not_o stretch_v my_o christian_a liberty_n too_o far_o for_o he_o that_o dare_v go_v so_o far_o as_o he_o think_v he_o may_v go_v sometime_o far_o than_o he_o shall_v etc._n etc._n 16._o i_o must_v bridle_v my_o tongue_n and_o not_o be_v too_o apt_a to_o speak_v of_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o not_o certain_a and_o much_o more_o to_o the_o same_o purpose_n both_o for_o particular_a and_o general_a instruction_n too_o long_o to_o insert_v here_o this_o holy_a youngman_n put_v down_o in_o his_o pocket_n book_n also_o how_o he_o have_v be_v exercise_v with_o temptation_n to_o sin_n as_o to_o theft_n adultery_n play_v at_o card_n and_o profane_v the_o sabbath_n etc._n etc._n as_o also_o with_o trial_n to_o prevent_v temptation_n instance_v that_o in_o a_o lash_n upon_o his_o eye_n with_o a_o coach-whip_n whereby_o the_o lord_n heal_v he_o of_o high_a lustful_a eye_n which_o have_v be_v too_o full_a of_o adultery_n 2._o pet._n 2.14_o chap._n iu._n now_o come_v we_o to_o the_o three_o head_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o working_n of_o his_o heart_n relate_v to_o his_o communion_n with_o god_n it_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o this_o good_a soul_n to_o examine_v himself_o only_a when_o he_o be_v approach_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n as_o be_v before_o specify_v but_o he_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o his_o duty_n to_o do_v it_o every_o day_n both_o every_o sabbath-day_n when_o there_o be_v no_o sacrament_n and_o every_o week_n day_n also_o make_v it_o his_o continual_a daily_a
etc._n ten_o so_o observant_a be_v he_o 〈◊〉_d all_o the_o working_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n that_o he_o set_v down_o how_o that_o when_o he_o be_v pray_v once_o in_o the_o dark_a cellar_n without_o any_o light_n the_o tempter_n possess_v he_o with_o fear_n that_o something_o will_v appear_v to_o affright_v he_o but_o god_n gracious_o step_v in_o and_o say_v to_o he_o fear_v not_o thou_o son_n of_o abraham_n etc._n etc._n gen._n 15.1_o eleven_o he_o record_v the_o very_a day_n wherein_o he_o miss_v his_o take_v a_o account_n of_o his_o own_o daily_a task_n of_o self_n examination_n and_o when_o he_o omit_v the_o scatter_n of_o some_o savoury_a discourse_n become_v table-talk_a at_o meat-time_n twelve_o he_o compute_v the_o very_a time_n first_o when_o mourn_v for_o sin_n be_v make_v sweet_a to_o his_o soul_n second_o when_o he_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n in_o prayer_n both_o by_o himself_o and_o with_o other_o three_o how_o often_o god_n come_v to_o he_o when_o disturb_v in_o duty_n or_o disappoint_v of_o it_o be_v constrain_v thereby_o sometime_o to_o pour_v out_o his_o heart_n to_o god_n in_o the_o shop_n by_o day_n and_o upon_o his_o bed_n by_o night_n in_o both_o which_o place_n he_o have_v sweet_a warming_n of_o spirit_n four_o how_o oft_o he_o make_v resignation_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n which_o be_v very_o frequent_a as_o also_o how_o oft_o he_o renew_v his_o covenant_n with_o god_n especial_o upon_o sacrament_n day_n which_o be_v the_o most_o material_a remark_n whereof_o i_o will_v not_o omit_v one_o out_o of_o choice_n i_o can_v collect_v out_o of_o the_o many_o sheet_n i_o have_v to_o peruse_v in_o my_o oft_o read_v they_o over_o and_o have_v not_o the_o same_o matter_n so_o oft_o upon_o distinct_a occasion_n repeat_v be_v reduce_v by_o this_o method_n to_o those_o few_o several_a head_n this_o tract_n may_v have_v swell_v into_o a_o volume_n chap._n v._n the_o last_o subject_n of_o this_o discourse_n be_v twofold_a first_o the_o evidence_n he_o have_v for_o heaven_n second_o the_o character_n that_o be_v give_v he_o by_o gracious_a and_o judicious_a witnessing_n of_o other_o as_o to_o the_o first_o i_o find_v several_a evidence_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o which_o give_v sweet_a encouragement_n to_o his_o soul_n that_o he_o be_v a_o choose_a vessel_n of_o mercy_n and_o one_o to_o be_v fill_v as_o with_o grace_n here_o so_o with_o glory_n hereafter_o first_o i_o know_v my_o repentance_n say_v he_o because_o my_o sense_n under_o sin_n as_o a_o burden_n be_v heavy_a to_o my_o soul_n than_o all_o my_o affliction_n be_v to_o my_o body_n i_o be_o ashamed_a of_o my_o secret_a sin_n which_o no_o man_n see_v or_o know_v before_o the_o lord_n who_o see_v and_o know_v they_o and_o all_o other_o thing_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o leave_v my_o darling_n sin_n and_o to_o leave_v all_o love_n to_o it_o yea_o to_o loath_a it_o through_o my_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o i_o account_v dear_a to_o i_o than_o any_o sin_n yea_o than_o all_o the_o world_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o know_v say_v he_o that_o to_o have_v true_a faith_n by_o christ_n be_v more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o receive_v he_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o my_o lord_n and_o king_n to_o rule_v i_o and_o my_o faith_n work_v by_o love_n so_o that_o i_o be_o grieve_v for_o his_o absence_n and_o rejoice_v at_o his_o presence_n and_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o he_o that_o he_o may_v be_v my_o all_o and_o in_o all_o three_o i_o find_v a_o delight_n to_o do_v god_n will_v sometime_o in_o pray_v to_o he_o sometime_o in_o praise_v of_o he_o sometime_o in_o hear_v from_o he_o and_o sometime_o in_o meditate_v upon_o he_o and_o upon_o that_o work_n of_o man_n redemption_n four_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n mourn_v most_o for_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v my_o peace_n and_o most_o separate_v betwixt_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n and_o long_v most_o for_o that_o mercy_n that_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n to_o wit_v not_o general_a but_o special_a mercy_n even_o mercy_n in_o christ_n five_o i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o love_v the_o lord_n for_o i_o hate_v that_o which_o grieve_v he_o and_o that_o because_o it_o grieve_v he_o and_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v most_o like_o he_o yea_o the_o place_n and_o duty_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n warm_v my_o heart_n and_o can_v be_v content_a without_o he_o in_o any_o sixthly_a i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n spiritual_a for_o i_o find_v hungring_n and_o thirsting_n after_o a_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n grieve_v when_o he_o be_v dishonour_v either_o by_o myself_o or_o by_o other_o and_o i_o love_v long_a and_o look_v for_o his_o last_o appear_v and_o come_v seven_o i_o high_o value_v the_o gospel_n that_o word_n of_o christ_n and_o truth_n which_o bring_v good_a tiding_n even_o reconciliation_n and_o the_o dispensation_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o have_v be_v hide_v some_o thousand_o of_o year_n and_o now_o be_v forfeit_v yet_o gracious_o continue_v to_o we_o though_o withdraw_v from_o many_o nation_n i_o be_o thankful_a for_o it_o labour_v to_o live_v like_o it_o and_o to_o adorn_v it_o with_o my_o life_n daily_o eight_o i_o know_v that_o matter_n be_v agree_v with_o god_n so_o that_o he_o be_v now_o no_o adversary_n because_o i_o find_v a_o oneness_n with_o he_o 1._o in_o mind_n which_o be_v make_v correspondent_a with_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n by_o this_o agreement_n i_o can_v think_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v great_a riches_n than_o the_o treasure_n of_o aegrpt_a heb._n 11.26_o 2._o oneness_n of_o will_n i_o can_v say_v whether_o for_o life_n or_o death_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v acts._n 21.14_o though_o there_o have_v be_v much_o ado_n to_o bring_v my_o will_n into_o a_o agreement_n with_o god_n and_o when_o i_o find_v not_o sometime_o a_o actual_a agreement_n yet_o have_v i_o always_o a_o habitual_a agreement_n of_o my_o will_n with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n 3._o oneness_n of_o affection_n i_o love_v what_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v what_o god_n hate_v psal_n 119.70_o jer._n 44.4_o i_o hate_v sin_n which_o god_n hate_v so_o i_o love_v holiness_n which_o god_n love_v 4._o oneness_n of_o way_n can_v two_o walk_v together_o unless_o they_o be_v agree_v amos_n 3.3_o psal_n 119.30_o and_o 25_o 5._o and_o isa_n 56.4_o 5._o 5._o oneness_n of_o interest_n god_n interest_n be_v i_o and_o my_o interest_n be_v god_n i_o can_v say_v in_o the_o witnessing_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n rom._n 9.1_o that_o there_o be_v this_o fivefold_a oneness_n betwixt_o god_n and_o i_o so_o be_v agree_v the_o nine_o evidence_n for_o his_o interest_n in_o heaven_n be_v his_o holy_a jealousy_n over_o his_o own_o heart_n in_o all_o his_o holy_a undertake_n ever_o fear_v that_o some_o by_o respect_n and_o not_o god_n glory_n be_v the_o motive_n that_o lead_v he_o to_o holy_a duty_n this_o he_o oft_o pray_v against_o and_o particular_o caution_n a_o gracious_a youngman_n with_o who_o he_o have_v agree_v to_o carry_v on_o a_o christian_a correspondency_n either_o in_o absence_n by_o letter_n or_o in_o presence_n by_o conference_n that_o herein_o they_o do_v not_o bring_v hurt_v instead_o of_o good_a to_o themselves_o by_o seek_v ourselves_o and_o not_o he_o who_o we_o be_v etc._n etc._n we_o be_v not_o our_o own_o but_o christ_n who_o pay_v dear_o for_o we_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v worth_a and_o we_o have_v covenant_v to_o glorify_v he_o not_o ourselves_o etc._n etc._n this_o holy_a jealousy_n be_v a_o bless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n ten_o his_o prize_v a_o union_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n above_o the_o confluence_n of_o all_o worldly_a comfort_n this_o point_n he_o in_o another_o letter_n to_o the_o youngman_n aforesaid_a when_o in_o the_o country_n by_o sickness_n much_o insist_o upon_o say_v while_o we_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n we_o have_v the_o hide_a manna_n and_o that_o joy_n which_o stranger_n to_o god_n intermeddle_v not_o not_o with_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o worse_o than_o nothing_o without_o it_o it_o be_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n and_o it_o be_v heaven_n in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n thus_o david_n reckon_v one_o day_n with_o god_n better_a than_o a_o thousand_o without_o he_o etc._n etc._n eleven_o o_o what_o carefulness_n do_v i_o find_v in_o all_o his_o manuscript_n as_o well_o as_o in_o his_o letter_n express_v to_o keep_v his_o account_n even_o betwixt_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n that_o right_a reckon_n may_v keep_v they_o long_a friend_n in_o his_o
evil_a but_o as_o he_o be_v israel_n so_o his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a he_o have_v two_o name_n jacob_n and_o israel_n genesis_n 49.1_o 2._o both_o give_v he_o from_o his_o wrestle_a the_o farmer_n name_n be_v give_v he_o for_o wrestle_v with_o his_o brother_n for_o the_o birthright_n in_o the_o womb_n wherein_o he_o miscarry_v but_o the_o latter_a for_o his_o wrestle_a with_o his_o god_n for_o the_o blessing_n at_o penuel_n wherein_o his_o valour_n through_o divine_a condescension_n obtain_v the_o victory_n when_o the_o messiah_n see_v jacob_n undaunted_a courage_n in_o resolute_o detain_v he_o ask_v he_o his_o name_n gen._n 32.24_o 26_o 27._o as_o if_o he_o shall_v say_v thou_o be_v such_o a_o fellow_n as_o i_o never_o meet_v with_o who_o though_o thou_o be_v lame_v and_o lay_v hard_o at_o yet_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v without_o my_o blessing_n thou_o have_v let_v thy_o flock_n go_v and_o thy_o herd_n go_v thou_o have_v let_v thy_o wife_n go_v and_o thy_o child_n go_v yet_o thou_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v nor_o my_o blessing_n go_v i_o will_v not_o let_v thou_o go_v except_o thou_o bless_v i_o say_v jacob_n v._o 26._o hereupon_o he_o honour_n he_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o honour_n of_o knighthood_n say_v to_o he_o kneel_v down_n jacob_n rise_v up_o israel_n for_o as_o a_o prince_n thou_o have_v have_v power_n with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n and_o have_v prevail_v gen._n 32.28_o hos_fw-la 12.3_o 4._o now_o jacob_n be_v a_o name_n of_o weakness_n the_o poor_a worm_n jacob_n isa_n 41.14_o trample_v upon_o and_o tread_v under_o foot_n this_o afflict_a state_n make_v jacob_n sigh_v out_o those_o sad_a word_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v against_o i_o gen._n 42.36_o and_o those_o of_o my_o text_n also_o few_n and_o evil_n have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v princely_a power_n as_o israel_n signify_v both_o with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n in_o this_o sense_n his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a one_o day_n with_o god_n be_v a_o thousand_o elsewhere_o use_v hence_o learn_v we_o the_o reason_n why_o the_o church_n be_v call_v jacob_n through_o out_o the_o scripture_n when_o speech_n be_v of_o her_o weakness_n and_o calamity_n but_o she_o be_v frequent_o call_v israel_n to_o signify_v her_o splendour_n and_o glory_n and_o as_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n so_o it_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o god_n in_o particular_a some_o time_n they_o be_v run_v down_o with_o strange_a temptation_n and_o with_o strong_a tribulation_n then_o be_v they_o the_o poor_a worm_n jocob_n isa_n 41.14_o the_o shulamite_n find_v two_o army_n warring_n in_o she_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o army_n of_o the_o spirit_n cant._n 6.13_o when_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n or_o amalek_n prevail_v as_o exod._n 17.11_o then_o the_o seed_n of_o jocob_n droop_v but_o when_o they_o be_v make_v strong_a in_o their_o weakness_n 2_o cor._n 12.9_o strengthen_v with_o all_o may_v col._n 1.11_o and_o make_v able_a through_o the_o supply_n of_o christ_n spirit_n phil._n 1.19_o to_o tread_v down_o strength_n as_o judg._n 5.21_o even_o the_o strong_a temptation_n without_o then_o be_v they_o call_v the_o israel_n of_o god_n gal._n 6.16_o for_o their_o princelike_a prevail_a over_o flesh_n world_n and_o devil_n iii_o observation_n from_o the_o circumstance_n of_o the_o text._n the_o three_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o conjunction_n of_o these_o two_o part_n this_o question_n and_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o which_o be_v it_o be_v a_o duty_n incumbent_n upon_o all_o mankind_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o answer_v how_o the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o their_o life_n do_v pass_v away_o it_o be_v moses_n prayer_n lord_n teach_v we_o to_o number_v our_o day_n that_o we_o may_v apply_v our_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n psalâ—_n 90.12_o in_o which_o psalm_n it_o be_v â—_o meditation_n of_o man_n mortality_n correspond_v with_o my_o text_n therefore_o mark_v 1._o moses_n mention_n the_o brevity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o man_n life_n compare_v it_o to_o a_o watch_n v._o 4._o which_o be_v but_o the_o four_o part_n of_o a_o night_n mark_n 13.35_o then_o he_o go_v on_o and_o compare_v it_o to_o a_o sleep_n to_o a_o dream_n all_o vanish_v thing_n and_o to_o a_o tale_n that_o be_v soon_o tell_v and_o be_v as_o soon_o forget_v last_o to_o grass_n which_o we_o well_o know_v if_o it_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o in_o summer_n or_o autumn_n do_v wither_v in_o winter_n so_o such_o mortal_n as_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o with_o the_o scythe_n of_o death_n in_o their_o youth_n do_v yet_o wither_v away_o in_o the_o winter_n of_o old_a age._n quid_fw-la est_fw-la vita_fw-la nisi_fw-la quidam_fw-la cursus_fw-la ad_fw-la mortem_fw-la say_v the_o ancient_a father_n life_n be_v nothing_o but_o a_o post_v to_o death_n the_o second_o occurrence_n in_o this_o meditation_n of_o moses_n upon_o man_n morality_n be_v his_o assign_v the_o proper_a procure_a cause_n of_o this_o humane_a misery_n to_o wit_n divine_a displeasure_n â—gainst_a sin_n which_o cause_v god_n to_o â—urn_v man_n to_o destruction_n ver_fw-la 7_o 8._o man_n at_o the_o first_o be_v make_v immortal_a he_o have_v then_o a_o immortal_a body_n a_o suitable_a companion_n for_o his_o immortal_a soul_n these_o two_o sweet_a associate_n have_v never_o be_v sever_v each_o from_o other_o if_o man_n have_v not_o sin_v against_o his_o maker_n have_v adam_n stand_v on_o his_o state_n of_o innocency_n he_o shall_v then_o have_v render_v to_o the_o lord_n a_o time_n of_o perfect_a obedience_n and_o service_n here_o upon_o earth_n and_o when_o that_o homage_n to_o his_o great_a landlord_n have_v be_v accomplish_v he_o shall_v then_o have_v be_v translate_v from_o earth_n without_o the_o least_o taste_n of_o death_n to_o heaven_n the_o soul_n shall_v never_o have_v be_v separate_v from_o the_o body_n as_o now_o it_o be_v for_o the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n rom._n 6.23_o it_o be_v that_o one_o man_n offence_n that_o pull_v up_o the_o sluice_n and_o let_v in_o death_n as_o a_o deluge_n with_o a_o regal_a authority_n over_o all_o the_o world_n rom._n 5.14_o to_o 17._o and_o sin_n do_v not_o only_o let_v in_o death_n but_o also_o all_o sort_n of_o sickness_n sorrow_n and_o suffering_n that_o be_v forerunner_n of_o it_o then_o 3_o moses_n condemn_v man_n dulness_n in_o take_v no_o more_o notice_n of_o this_o divine_a displeasure_n ver_fw-la 11._o all_o other_o creature_n know_v their_o time_n and_o their_o season_n jerem._n 8.7_o but_o man_n know_v not_o the_o day_n of_o his_o visitation_n till_o he_o come_v to_o be_v snare_v in_o a_o evil_a net_n etc._n etc._n eccles_n 9.12_o though_o man_n life_n be_v a_o life_n full_a of_o all_o inconvenience_n of_o indignity_n of_o injury_n of_o infirmity_n and_o of_o iniquity_n also_o yet_o such_o be_v the_o stupidity_n of_o the_o fall_v nature_n that_o man_n put_v the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n far_o from_o he_o amos_n 6.3_o four_o hereupon_o moses_n beg_v god_n for_o illuminate_v grace_n wherewith_o to_o make_v a_o more_o distinct_a discovery_n of_o all_o humane_a frailty_n lord_n teach_v which_o to_o number_v our_o day_n etc._n etc._n ver_fw-la 12._o and_o the_o sweet-singer_n of_o israel_n david_n will_v be_v of_o the_o same_o chorus_n with_o moses_n sigh_v as_o well_o as_o sing_v out_o these_o synonimical_a sentence_n lord_n make_v i_o â—o_o know_v my_o end_n and_o the_o measure_n of_o my_o day_n what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o frail_a i_o be_o etc._n etc._n psal_n 39.4_o 5._o thus_o likewise_o jacob_n in_o my_o text_n carry_v on_o the_o like_a concord_n and_o consort_n to_o complete_a the_o harmony_n complain_v here_o few_n and_o evil_a have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v etc._n etc._n add_v only_o this_o one_o note_n of_o discord_n for_o make_v better_a music_n that_o god_n have_v teach_v he_o this_o great_a truth_n concern_v his_o own_o frailty_n he_o have_v see_v it_o for_o time_n past_a and_o he_o will_v be_v sensible_a of_o it_o for_o time_n to_o come_v his_o day_n have_v be_v few_o and_o evil_a now_o they_o may_v be_v few_o and_o worse_o see_v he_o and_o all_o his_o be_v famish_v out_o of_o canaan_n the_o land_n of_o promise_n into_o egypt_n the_o place_n where_o his_o posterity_n will_v be_v evil_o entreat_v gen._n 15.13_o use_v moses_n teach_v we_o what_o use_n to_o make_v of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o own_o frailty_n it_o shall_v strong_o stir_v we_o up_o to_o a_o earnest_n implore_v of_o divine_a mercy_n he_o make_v a_o loud_a out_o cry_v after_o mercy_n cry_v return_v o_fw-la lord_n how_o long_o etc._n etc._n oh_o satisfy_v we_o early_o with_o thy_o mercy_n
day_n job_n 7.1_o and_o 14.13.14_o a_o few_o day_n be_v the_o number_n of_o his_o life_n psal_n 39.4_o yea_o the_o day_n of_o a_o hireling_n who_o be_v hire_v only_o for_o some_o few_o day_n to_o do_v some_o job_n of_o work_n which_o require_v haste_n and_o be_v but_o for_o a_o spirt_v not_o last_v nay_o sometime_o the_o hireling_n be_v hire_v but_o for_o one_o single_a day_n as_o matth._n 20.1_o 2_o etc._n etc._n where_o the_o parable_n call_v man_n life_n but_o one_o particular_a day_n consist_v of_o twelve_o hour_n and_o what_o a_o poor_a part_n of_o time_n be_v one_o day_n especial_o when_o the_o sun_n set_v at_o the_o noon_n of_o that_o day_n amos_n 8.9_o this_o make_v it_o a_o very_a short_a pilgrimage_n indeed_o as_o be_v that_o of_o this_o youngman_n iii_o reason_n the_o third_z demonstration_n be_v draw_v from_o scripture_n metaphor_n which_o illustrate_v the_o swiftness_n of_o man_n life_n in_o its_o passage_n through_o the_o world_n all_o imply_v the_o shortness_n of_o that_o passage_n for_o the_o swift_a that_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o runner_n be_v the_o short_a be_v the_o time_n wherein_o the_o race_n be_v run_v i_o may_v reassume_a hear_v the_o philosophical_a allusion_n of_o man_n life_n as_o first_o plato_n game_n at_o dice_n be_v soon_o play_v out_o second_o seneca_n flash_n of_o lightning_n soon_o vanish_v three_o pythagoras_n stage_n play_n be_v soon_o act_v four_o symonide_n show_v his_o face_n soon_o show_v his_o back_n and_o be_v go_v five_o epictetus_n voyage_n be_v very_o short_a and_o all_o the_o former_a be_v short_a none_o of_o they_o long_o abide_v so_o likewise_o the_o theological_a as_o l._n james_n vapour_n soon_o evaporaeth_n 2._o david_n smoke_n soon_o dwindle_v 3._o job_n shadow_n soon_o vanish_v 4._o hezekiah_n tent_n be_v soon_o take_v down_o 5._o and_o both_o job_n and_o hezekiah_n shuttle_n have_v both_o a_o swift_a and_o a_o short_a motion_n etc._n etc._n 6._o the_o prophet_n graf_n soon_o wither_v and_o his_o flower_n soon_o fade_v the_o time_n for_o all_o these_o be_v but_o a_o short_a time_n as_o say_v the_o apostle_n the_o time_n be_v short_a 1_o cor._n 7.29_o but_o to_o insist_v only_o upon_o those_o three_o great_a metaphor_n that_o job_n serious_o play_v upon_o all_o together_o a_o post_n a_o ship_n and_o a_o eagle_n job_n 9_o 25_o 26._o to_o show_v the_o swiftness_n and_o thereby_o the_o shortness_n of_o his_o own_o life_n or_o pilgrimage_n the_o improvement_n of_o these_o three_o point_n must_v stand_v here_o for_o a_o three_o application_n the_o first_o simile_n the_o first_o metaphor_n resemble_v man_n ride_v post_n my_o day_n a_o swift_a than_o a_o post_n etc._n etc._n which_o allusion_n have_v a_o fourfold_a congruity_n first_o as_o the_o post-boy_n be_v one_o that_o ride_v upon_o swift_a horse_n spur_v they_o end-way_n and_o spare_v no_o horse-stesh_a ride_v always_o upon_o the_o speed_n with_o haste_n haste_v haste_v for_o his_o majesty_n service_n from_o city_n to_o country_n and_o from_o one_o kingdom_n to_o another_o carrying_z always_o matter_n of_o great_a concern_v along_o with_o he_o so_o every_o man_n be_v ride_v post_n in_o this_o life_n carry_v in_o the_o chariot_n of_o time_n which_o be_v draw_v by_o the_o swift_a horse_n even_o such_o as_o be_v wing_v horse_n like_o pegasus_n and_o so_o flee_v fast_o than_o any_o post_n according_a to_o job_n phrase_n my_o day_n be_v swift_a than_o a_o post_n they_o flee_v away_o etc._n etc._n they_o run_v fast_o and_o outrun_v the_o post_n oh_o that_o man_n will_v consider_v the_o great_a concern_v of_o the_o packet_n they_o carry_v and_o the_o tendency_n of_o their_o way_n etc._n etc._n bethink_v yourselves_o 2_o chron._n 6.37_o as_o the_o hebrew_n read_v be_v and_o consider_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d septuagint_n read_v psal_n 119.59_o make_v a_o dialogue_n with_o your_o own_o heart_n common_a with_o they_o upon_o your_o bed_n as_o david_n do_v psal_n 4.4_o excutite_fw-la excutite_fw-la zeph._n 2.1_o shake_v yourselves_o from_o sluggishness_n as_o samson_n do_v judg._n 16.20_o consider_v and_o better_o consider_v hagg._n 1.5_o 7._o do_v it_o not_o to_o half_a part_n second_o the_o post_n ride_v night_n and_o day_n without_o either_o stop_n or_o stay_v make_v no_o long_a meal_n any_o where_o but_o take_v a_o bit_n and_o away_o etc._n etc._n so_o man_n life_n be_v ever_o in_o motion_n it_o make_v no_o stand_n at_o any_o place_n or_o time_n but_o every_o moment_n he_o be_v yield_v some_o little_a unto_o death_n his_o life_n be_v pass_v towards_o it_o while_o he_o be_v sleep_v in_o his_o bed_n he_o be_v ever_o ride_v post_n be_v it_o winter_n or_o summer_n time_n or_o be_v his_o way_n and_o weather_n fair_a or_o foul_a in_o prosperity_n or_o adversity_n oh_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o man_n deut._n 5.29_o to_o consider_v their_o latter_a end_n deut._n 32.29_o see_v every_o year_n month_n week_n hour_n and_o minute_n you_o be_v ride_v post_n to_o your_o grave_n they_o that_o do_v not_o remember_v their_o latter_a end_n be_v to_o be_v lament_v because_o they_o will_v come_v down_o wonderful_o lament_v 1.9_o three_o the_o post_n be_v betrust_v with_o matter_n of_o weighty_a moment_n sometime_o the_o save_n or_o sink_v of_o a_o kingdom_n depend_v upon_o the_o post_n carriage_n or_o miscarriage_n he_o therefore_o in_o such_o a_o case_n be_v command_v to_o ride_v upon_o pain_n of_o death_n and_o dare_v not_o loiter_v or_o linger_v careless_o till_o he_o come_v at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o stage_n and_o till_o his_o packet_n be_v careful_o deliver_v so_o man_n in_o his_o ride_v post_n be_v betrust_v with_o a_o concern_n of_o infinite_a and_o everlasting_a consequence_n to_o wit_n his_o precious_a soul_n which_o be_v a_o jewel_n of_o more_o worth_n than_o the_o whole_a world_n christ_n who_o be_v truth_n itself_o say_v so_o and_o he_o be_v best_o able_a to_o know_v the_o worth_n of_o soul_n because_o he_o alone_o pay_v the_o price_n of_o soul_n matth._n 16.26_o and_o 20.28_o oh_o consider_v how_o everyone_o of_o you_o be_v ride_v post_n with_o this_o pearl_n of_o great_a price_n in_o your_o hand_n take_v heed_n of_o scatter_v it_o or_o truck_v it_o away_o for_o trash_n and_o trifle_n you_o ride_v upon_o pain_n of_o death_n be_v not_o careless_a your_o life_n spiritual_a and_o eternal_a lie_n at_o stake_n how_o can_v you_o be_v too_o careful_a beware_v of_o spiritual_a slumber_n until_o your_o precious_a packet_n be_v deliver_v upon_o a_o die_a bed_n and_o you_o then_o be_v able_a to_o say_v with_o the_o proto-martyr_n stephen_n lord_n jesus_n receive_v my_o spirit_n act._n 7.59_o or_o better_a with_o your_o bless_a redeemer_n say_v father_n into_o thy_o hand_n i_o commend_v my_o spirit_n luke_n 23.46_o thus_o david_n be_v careful_a to_o deliver_v his_o packet_n into_o right_a hand_n both_o live_n and_o die_v psal_n 31.5_o etc._n etc._n four_o some_o post_n ride_v long_a stage_n than_o other_o and_o some_o short_a with_o their_o mail_n and_o errand_n yea_o some_o be_v stop_v and_o rob_v of_o their_o charge_n etc._n etc._n thus_o no_o man_n know_v the_o length_n of_o his_o post-stage_n we_o know_v that_o it_o be_v but_o short_a in_o general_n but_o alas_o we_o know_v not_o how_o short_a it_o may_v be_v in_o particular_a we_o be_v bid_v not_o to_o boast_v of_o to_o morrow_n for_o we_o know_v not_o what_o a_o day_n may_v bring_v forth_o prov._n 27.1_o jam._n 4.13_o matth._n 6.34_o we_o know_v not_o what_o lie_v hide_v in_o the_o womb_n of_o time_n one_o big-bellyed_a day_n may_v dismount_v we_o as_o young_a as_o we_o as_o strong_a as_o we_o have_v be_v dismount_v yea_o some_o we_o see_v daily_o be_v unhorse_v assoon_o as_o thy_o set_n out_o die_v in_o their_o childhood_n god_n call_v from_o heaven_n to_o abraham_n say_v stay_v now_o thy_o strike_n gent_n 22.10_o 11._o and_o he_o may_v call_v upon_o any_o one_o of_o we_o this_o or_o the_o next_o moment_n say_v stay_v now_o your_o ride_v god_n indeed_o give_v to_o some_o enough_o of_o ride_v post_n they_o be_v weary_a with_o post_v weary_a of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o world_n as_o weary_v of_o they_o they_o live_v undesired_a and_o die_v unlamented_a but_o all_o must_v wait_v till_o their_o change_n come_v job_n 14.14_o the_o second_o allusion_n in_o job_n 9.26_o be_v a_o man_n sail_v in_o a_o ship_n mark_v the_o gradation_n the_o second_o simile_n first_o a_o ship_n be_v swift_a than_o a_o post_n and_o thence_o job_n rise_v high_a there_o but_o a_o eagle_n be_v swift_a of_o all_o the_o three_o a_o ship_n pass_v swift_o before_o the_o wind_n and_o stop_v stay_v not_o till_o she_o come_v to_o the_o shore_n some_o one_o port_n she_o be_v bind_v for_o and_o rest_v not_o strike_v not_o sail_n
till_o she_o reach_v her_o desire_a harbour_n or_o haven_n mark_v also_o the_o congruity_n in_o sundry_a particular_n betwixt_o man_n passage_n through_o this_o life_n and_o a_o ship_n pass_v through_o the_o sea_n the_o first_o congruity_n be_v as_o a_o ship_n bulk_n be_v build_v just_a after_o the_o manner_n of_o man_n body_n in_o a_o supine_n posture_n the_o bottom-tree_n answer_v our_o backbone_n which_o have_v many_o rib_n rise_v up_o on_o both_o side_n etc._n etc._n be_v make_v for_o motion_n not_o rest_n hence_o the_o ignorant_a indian_n call_v the_o first_o ship_n they_o behold_v move_a island_n all_o ship_n be_v make_v for_o launch_v out_o into_o the_o deep_a water_n psal_n 107.23_o 24._o and_o when_o heave_v from_o off_o the_o stock_n where_o they_o be_v build_v in_o order_n to_o their_o pass_v down_o into_o the_o deep_a have_v a_o peculiar_a name_n as_o the_o good-speed_n the_o adventure_n etc._n etc._n put_v upon_o they_o even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o the_o poor_a isle_n of_o man_n so_o call_v he_o upon_o his_o first_o launch_v forth_o from_o his_o mother_n womb_n into_o a_o sea_n of_o misery_n have_v some_o significant_a name_n put_v upon_o he_o with_o many_o hearty_a wish_n from_o parent_n and_o relation_n send_v after_o he_o both_o for_o his_o safety_n and_o success_n second_o no_o soon_o be_v the_o ship_n launch_v out_o into_o the_o main_a ocean_n but_o she_o meet_v with_o contarry_a wind_n rage_a wave_n dreadful_a storm_n etc._n etc._n as_o before_o so_o that_o she_o be_v never_o safe_a or_o quiet_a till_o she_o reach_v her_o rest_n in_o her_o desire_a haven_n psal_n 107.30_o thus_o it_o be_v with_o man_n while_o in_o this_o low_a world_n the_o place_n of_o piracy_n job_n 7.1_o ut_fw-la supra_fw-la he_o be_v assault_v with_o many_o pirate_n who_o hang_v out_o false_a colour_n to_o decoy_n he_o within_o the_o command_n of_o their_o cannon_n he_o be_v afflict_a toss_v with_o tempest_n and_o not_o comfort_v isa_n 54.11_o this_o present_a evil_a world_n be_v a_o very_a shop_n full_o furnish_v with_o all_o tempt_v tool_n and_o the_o life_n of_o man_n be_v but_o as_o one_o temptation_n continue_v from_o first_o to_o last_o it_o be_v a_o life_n make_v up_o all_o of_o temptation_n man_n be_v ever_o under_o either_o visible_a or_o invisible_a danger_n he_o pass_v through_o peril_n in_o peril_n often_o as_o paul_n 2_o cor._n 11.26_o every_o moment_n until_o he_o reach_v to_o that_o everlasting_a rest_n in_o a_o desire_a haven_n heb._n 4.9_o revel_v 14.13_o the_o third_z congruity_n be_v a_o ship_n be_v not_o only_o make_v for_o motion_n but_o for_o swift_a motion_n hence_o job_n phrase_v it_o my_o day_n pass_v away_o as_o the_o swift_a ship_n hebr._n ship_n of_o ebeck_n which_o may_v be_v read_v ship_n of_o desire_n whither_o they_o be_v ship_n of_o pleasure_n or_o yatche_n which_o be_v build_v frigat-wise_a for_o sail_v swift_o or_o they_o be_v ship_n of_o piracy_n as_o mendoza_n read_v it_o say_v nave_n piraticae_fw-la &_o mercibus_fw-la vacuae_fw-la quam_fw-la velocissime_fw-la rapiuntur_fw-la plunder_v and_o pilfer_a privateer_n be_v empty_a of_o burden_n make_v the_o most_o speedy_a way_n in_o plough_v through_o the_o water_n especial_o when_o they_o have_v both_o wind_n and_o tide_n with_o they_o to_o promote_v their_o progress_n thus_o it_o be_v with_o poor_a mortal_a man_n who_o be_v a_o roll_a tumble_a thing_n like_o a_o ship_n hop_v from_o hill_n to_o mountain_n and_o meet_v with_o no_o rest_a place_n jer._n 50.6_o he_o reel_v to_o and_o fro_o as_o if_o drink_v like_o the_o mariner_n in_o a_o toss_a ship_n psal_n 107.26_o 27._o yea_o and_o many_o man_n motion_n to_o hell_n be_v as_o swift_a ship_n make_v great_a haste_n thither_o prov._n 1.16_o isa_n 59.7_o rom._n 3.15_o man_n life_n be_v swift_a of_o itself_o but_o it_o run_v most_o swift_o when_o the_o wind_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o tide_n of_o corruption_n concur_v to_o carry_v it_o forward_o etc._n etc._n oh_o will_v to_o god_n the_o motion_n of_o your_o mind_n make_v as_o much_o expedition_n towards_o heaven_n as_o wicked_a man_n do_v towards_o hell_n all_o man_n be_v ship_n of_o desire_n both_o good_a and_o bad_a all_z be_v home-bound_a to_o one_o of_o those_o port_n and_o never_o do_v the_o wind_n so_o much_o fill_v the_o sail_n of_o such_o and_o such_o a_o ship_n as_o desire_n do_v fill_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o mariner_n to_o be_v at_o such_o and_o such_o a_o desire_a haven_n it_o be_v true_a the_o worst_a of_o wicked_a man_n do_v not_o desire_v hell_n yet_o though_o they_o do_v not_o desire_v that_o end_n they_o have_v strong_a desire_n towards_o the_o way_n to_o that_o end_n how_o ought_v every_o gracious_a soul_n to_o pray_v for_o the_o fresh_a gale_n of_o god_n spirit_n john_n 3.8_o and_o to_o cry_v with_o the_o spouse_n in_o the_o song_n awake_v o_fw-la northwind_n and_o come_v thou_o southwind_n blow_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n cant._n 4.16_o a_o godly_a person_n have_v with_o paul_n his_o cupio_fw-la dissollvi_fw-la a_o desire_n to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n phil._n 1.23_o o_o how_o shall_v we_o all_o with_o the_o penitent_a prodigal_a hasten_v home_o to_o our_o father_n house_n etc._n etc._n luke_n 15.17_o 18_o 20._o heaven_n be_v our_o home_n 2_o cor._n 5._o from_o 1._o to_o 7._o it_o be_v our_o desire_a haven_n psal_n 107.30_o even_o everlasting_a happiness_n four_o the_o four_o paraphrase_n upon_o job_n phrase_n that_o man_n life_n be_v like_o a_o ship_n follow_v that_o as_o a_o ship_n leave_v no_o visible_a tract_n behind_o she_o so_o life_n pass_v unto_o death_n and_o the_o memory_n of_o it_o be_v forget_v solomon_n say_v the_o way_n of_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o sea_n can_v be_v track_v prov._n 30.19_o for_o though_o she_o make_v deep_a furrow_n in_o her_o passage_n all_o along_o yeâ—_n do_v they_o immediate_o close_v up_o again_o and_o the_o same_o solomon_n say_v of_o man_n yea_o of_o great_a man_n that_o carry_v a_o great_a figure_n in_o their_o place_n and_o be_v of_o a_o ruffle_a grandeur_n in_o the_o world_n when_o once_o dead_a the_o memory_n of_o they_o wear_v out_o of_o the_o mind_n eccles._n 8.10_o and_o 9.5_o thus_o egypt_n forget_v joseph_n exod._n 1.18_o and_o israel_n gideon_n judg._n 8.34_o 35._o yea_o man_n friend_n and_o familiar_n remember_v the_o dead_a no_o more_o thus_o likewise_o some_o understand_v that_o phrase_n in_o dan._n 8.5_o the_o he_o goat_n touch_v not_o the_o ground_n in_o this_o sense_n that_o it_o import_v not_o only_o the_o speed_n and_o expedition_n of_o alexander_n prodigious_a conquest_n but_o also_o that_o in_o aÌ„_o short_a time_n no_o man_n will_v know_v what_o be_v become_v either_o of_o that_o great_a conqueror_n or_o of_o any_o of_o his_o vast_a conquest_n there_o will_v be_v no_o print_n of_o any_o their_o footstep_n leave_v behind_o they_o will_v no_o more_o be_v find_v than_o the_o way_n of_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o sea_n yet_o o_o how_o good_a it_o be_v to_o be_v a_o godly_a person_n for_o the_o righteous_a shall_v be_v have_v in_o everlasting_a remembrance_n psal_n 112.6_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o just_a full_o be_v bless_v prov._n 10.7_o they_o shall_v be_v mention_v with_o much_o veneration_n after_o death_n even_o by_o those_o that_o spare_v not_o to_o reproach_n they_o in_o their_o life_n their_o very_a name_n shall_v be_v honourable_a and_o acceptable_a to_o god_n and_o man_n whereas_o the_o name_n of_o the_o wicked_a rot_v and_o stink_v above_o ground_n prov._n 10.7_o five_o and_o last_o a_o ship_n never_o rest_v till_o she_o come_v into_o her_o desire_a heaven_n so_o man_n life_n stay_v no_o where_o till_o it_o come_v to_o its_o long_a rest_n and_o that_o be_v a_o bless_a rest_n to_o those_o that_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n revel_v 14.13_o that_o fall_v asleep_a in_o jesus_n 1_o thes_n 4.14_o god_n take_v a_o way_n their_o soul_n out_o of_o their_o body_n as_o it_o be_v by_o a_o kiss_n thus_o rabin_n read_v that_o phrase_n gnal_n pi_v jehovah_n deut._n 34.5_o at_o the_o mouth_n of_o the_o lord_n moses_n die_v not_o as_o we_o according_a to_o the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n as_o if_o god_n have_v take_v away_o his_o soul_n with_o a_o kiss_n of_o his_o mouth_n such_o a_o kiss_n of_o love_n as_o the_o spouse_n pray_v for_o from_o the_o mouth_n of_o christ_n cant_v 1.2_o when_o this_o be_v do_v what_o follow_v after_o but_o rest_n from_o labour_n 1_o from_o labour_n of_o necessity_n 2_o from_o labour_n of_o infirmity_n and_o 3_o from_o labour_n of_o iniquity_n 1._o they_o rest_v from_o the_o first_o to_o wit_n the_o necessary_a yet_o toilsome_a labour_n of_o this_o life_n they_o take_v no_o more_o think_v propoter_fw-la victum_fw-la &_o amictum_fw-la what_o they_o
word_n with_o he_o for_o his_o promise_n be_v but_o with_o the_o silver_n of_o this_o life_n but_o his_o payment_n be_v with_o the_o gold_n of_o a_o better_a life_n solon_n say_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d who_o god_n love_v dye_v young_a he_o be_v take_v away_o from_o the_o evil_a to_o come_v 2_o king_n 22.20_o isa_n 57.1_o he_o have_v live_v long_o enough_o that_o can_v say_v not_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o child_n to_o good_a husband_n as_o worldling_n say_v but_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o precious_a soul_n to_o the_o bless_a bridegroom_n this_o be_v his_o joy_n yet_o can_v be_v content_a to_o pass_v out_o of_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o joy_n on_o earth_n to_o possess_v a_o better_a and_o great_a iâ—_n heaven_n and_o o_o that_o we_o may_v enter_v into_o our_o master_n joy_n as_o he_o have_v do_v as_o a_o post_n that_o have_v deliver_v his_o packet_n to_o god_n a_o ship_n that_o be_v lay_v up_o in_o the_o haven_n of_o heaven_n &_o a_o eagle_n now_o feed_v on_o the_o carcase_n of_o christ_n finis_fw-la a_o brief_a relation_n of_o the_o first_o conversion_n and_o after_o that_o of_o the_o whole_a conversation_n of_o that_o precious_a young_a man_n mr._n john_n draper_n draw_v out_o of_o his_o experience_n exercise_n examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n all_o writ_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n in_o character_n etc._n etc._n chap._n i._n have_v diligent_o peruse_v what_o a_o prodigious_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o with_o â—is_n own_o handwriting_n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v astonish_v that_o one_o so_o young_a and_o a_o servant_n too_o and_o who_o have_v so_o much_o business_n on_o earth_n in_o his_o master_n service_n shall_v redeem_v so_o much_o time_n to_o make_v religion_n his_o business_n in_o serve_v his_o great_a master_n christ_n and_o in_o secure_v heaven_n for_o his_o soul_n though_o it_o seem_v almost_o incredible_a yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o he_o mellow_a much_o and_o ripen_v fast_o for_o abraham_n bosom_n as_o appear_v by_o the_o sequel_n this_o holy_a young_a man_n may_v be_v a_o very_a eminent_a pattern_n of_o piety_n to_o old_a as_o well_o as_o young_a man_n in_o a_o fourfold_a respect_n 1._o for_o his_o experience_n 2._o for_o his_o exercise_n 3._o for_o his_o self-examination_n and_o 4._o for_o his_o excellent_a character_n and_o evidence_n of_o his_o interest_n in_o a_o better_a world_n all_o which_o i_o find_v very_o strenuous_o state_v in_o his_o own_o handwriting_n though_o in_o character_n yet_o by_o the_o help_n of_o a_o key_n be_v make_v both_o legible_a and_o intelligible_a and_o now_o publish_v for_o public_a good_a i._o for_o his_o experience_n they_o fall_v under_o a_o twofold_a head_n the_o former_a relate_v to_o his_o first_o conversion_n and_o the_o latter_a to_o his_o whole_a conversation_n his_o conversion_n i_o understand_v be_v effectual_o wrought_v notwithstanding_o his_o strict_a and_o religious_a education_n and_o former_a conviction_n hereafter_o mention_v etc._n etc._n by_o a_o sermon_n preach_v from_o matth._n 5.25_o 26._o agree_v with_o thy_o adversary_n quick_o while_o thou_o be_v in_o the_o way_n etc._n etc._n about_o december_n the_o 8_o 1678._o from_o whence_o he_o learn_v those_o bless_a truth_n follow_v and_o not_o only_o have_v they_o fix_v upon_o his_o heart_n and_o seal_v upon_o his_o soul_n but_o also_o i_o find_v his_o own_o soul_n fix_v in_o wax_n upon_o they_o to_o express_v the_o great_a veneration_n of_o they_o for_o their_o be_v so_o ravish_v and_o refresh_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o spirit_n the_o great_a truth_n that_o have_v a_o abide_a work_n upon_o his_o heart_n when_o this_o time_n of_o love_n come_v upon_o he_o be_v these_o i._o that_o god_n and_o man_n be_v at_o variance_n through_o sin_n they_o be_v at_o a_o distance_n ii_o it_o be_v man_n wisdom_n to_o make_v his_o peace_n with_o god_n his_o adversary_n iii_o this_o must_v be_v do_v quick_o while_o man_n be_v in_o his_o way_n before_o he_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o judge_n house_n by_o death_n etc._n etc._n iv_o there_o be_v great_a danger_n in_o delay_v or_o defer_v this_o agreement_n but_o sinner_n shall_v take_v up_o with_o god_n before_o it_o be_v too_o late_a etc._n etc._n v._o that_o god_n have_v a_o action_n of_o debt_n for_o which_o to_o arrest_v every_o sinner_n etc._n etc._n vi_o this_o debt_n of_o sin_n be_v strange_o circumstance_v 1._o it_o be_v a_o hereditary_a 2_o a_o universal_a debt_n both_o every_o man_n be_v bear_v in_o this_o debt_n and_o no_o man_n live_v be_v exempt_v from_o it_o 3._o it_o be_v a_o increase_a and_o a_o grow_a debt_n the_o long_a it_o run_v on_o in_o a_o man_n life_n etc._n etc._n 4._o it_o be_v a_o infinite_a debt_n and_o therefore_o insoluble_a it_o can_v be_v pay_v etc._n etc._n no_o finite_a creature_n can_v ever_o pay_v this_o infinite_a debt_n to_o the_o infinite_a creator_n those_o bless_a truth_n the_o lord_n speak_v with_o a_o strong_a hand_n as_o isa_n 8.11_o to_o this_o young_a man_n heart_n and_o make_v he_o consider_v first_o that_o till_o this_o agreement_n be_v make_v my_o god_n be_v my_o adversary_n and_o i_o have_v better_o have_v all_o the_o world_n my_o enemy_n the_o maker_n of_o the_o world_n who_o if_o a_o friend_n can_v make_v my_o enemy_n friend_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o can_v stand_v it_o out_o with_o the_o great_a god_n who_o will_v burn_v up_o those_o briar_n that_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o isa_n 27.4_o three_o it_o be_v no_o frivolous_a thing_n to_o be_v do_v or_o undo_v but_o it_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o great_a moment_n eternal_a weal_n and_o woe_n hang_v upon_o it_o etc._n etc._n four_o i_o must_v agree_v etc._n etc._n because_o there_o be_v no_o other_o way_n in_o all_o the_o world_n to_o take_v up_o this_o prodigious_a debt_n but_o by_o agreement_n etc._n etc._n five_o it_o will_v not_o always_o be_v my_o privilege_n to_o make_v a_o agreement_n time_n will_v not_o last_v always_o for_o take_v up_o the_o controversy_n for_o when_o death_n come_v than_o it_o be_v to_o late_a etc._n etc._n six_o if_o my_o cause_n come_v before_o the_o righteous_a judge_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v cast_v because_o it_o be_v a_o bad_a cause_n and_o that_o judge_n will_v not_o be_v bribe_v with_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n seven_o it_o i_o be_v cast_v in_o my_o cause_n i_o shall_v be_v deliver_v up_o by_o the_o judge_n to_o god_n gaoler_n and_o executioner_n to_o wit_n the_o devil_n eight_o if_o i_o be_v deliver_v over_o to_o god_n officer_n of_o justice_n he_o will_v cast_v i_o into_o prison_n that_o be_v drag_v i_o into_o hell_n nine_o if_o once_o i_o be_v cast_v into_o the_o prison_n of_o hell_n there_o must_v i_o lie_v till_o i_o have_v pay_v the_o uttermost_a farthing_n which_o can_v never_o be_v do_v i_o must_v be_v always_o pay_v the_o debt_n yet_o never_o have_v pay_v it_o by_o these_o soul-awaking_a consideration_n the_o lord_n help_v he_o through_o his_o grace_n to_o conclude_v with_o himself_o that_o it_o be_v the_o high_a wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n to_o agree_v quick_o with_o god_n his_o adversary_n as_o he_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n by_o nature_n eph._n 2.3_o and_o it_o will_v be_v the_o most_o sublime_a folly_n for_o he_o any_o long_a to_o defer_v it_o etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o open_v his_o eye_n touch_v his_o heart_n and_o break_v down_o window_n into_o his_o dark_a soul_n upon_o further_a inquiry_n he_o learn_v that_o this_o vast_a debt_n he_o be_v owe_v to_o divine_a justice_n no_o less_o than_o ten_o thousand_o talent_n mat._n 18.24_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o king_n ransom_n can_v never_o be_v compound_v for_o this_o just_a judge_n will_v have_v either_o all_o or_o none_o and_o till_o a_o agreement_n be_v make_v god_n be_v a_o angry_a adversasary_n and_o better_o i_o shall_v anger_v all_o the_o witch_n in_o the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n than_o anger_n the_o great_a god_n i_o must_v agree_v with_o he_o then_o the_o inquiry_n be_v make_v how_o this_o may_v be_v do_v the_o answer_n be_v there_o be_v something_o lay_v on_o god_n part_n and_o something_o on_o you_o that_o on_o god_n part_n be_v 1._o to_o find_v a_o arbitrator_n or_o days-man_n one_o more_o than_o a_o man_n for_o what_o can_v a_o mere_a man_n do_v with_o a_o angry_a god_n 2._o god_n find_v a_o ransom_n a_o surety_n to_o satisfy_v the_o debt_n with_o the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n job_n 33.24_o heb._n 7.22_o and_o isa_n 53.11_o 3._o god_n make_v the_o sinner_n heart_n wilâ—ing_v to_o accept_v of_o this_o way_n of_o agreement_n phil_n 2.13_o that_o which_o â—ays_v on_o man_n part_n be_v two_o
in_o duty_n 17_o have_v like_a to_o have_v fall_v into_o passion_n but_o god_n disappoint_v it_o yet_o not_o much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n eighteen_o not_o up_o early_o have_v my_o former_a omission_n and_o commission_n the_o ninteenth_n twenty_v and_o twenty_o first_o yea_o to_o the_o end_n of_o april_n he_o arraigns_n himself_n as_o guilty_a of_o all_o those_o aforesaid_a crime_n then_o may_v 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5_o 6._o complain_v of_o all_o those_o evil_n add_v that_o hurrey_n of_o his_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n do_v provoke_v he_o more_o to_o passion_n but_o sometime_o god_n help_v he_o to_o subdue_v it_o etc._n etc._n the_o 7._o be_v sabbath_n day_n sin_n set_v too_o light_a do_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o enough_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n nor_o in_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o serious_o mind_v the_o word_n of_o god_n 8_o 9_o 10_o 11_o 12_o 13._o the_o same_o little_a life_n much_o dullness_n be_v weary_v with_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n 14_o frothy_a discourse_n with_o some_o delight_n o_o sin_n sin_n lay_v too_o light_a both_o i_o own_o and_o the_o land_n sin_n 15_o 16_o 17_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o complaint_n 20._o neglect_v to_o read_v god_n word_n 21_o 22_o 23._o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o may_n he_o cry_v out_o i_o have_v do_v nothing_o for_o myself_o nor_o the_o church_n i_o have_v not_o be_v myself_o hardly_o know_v what_o i_o do_v through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n o_o the_o world_n the_o world_n be_v a_o saâ—_n impediment_n to_o my_o soul_n god_n have_v not_o be_v in_o my_o mind_n heaven_n out_o of_o my_o sight_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o those_o of_o the_o land_n nor_o have_v holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n thus_o he_o say_v particular_o upon_o every_o day_n add_v thus_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o four_o of_o june_n be_v always_o weary_v with_o work_n and_o unfit_a for_o any_o good_a o_o it_o have_v be_v a_o sad_a time_n for_o my_o soul_n thus_o likewise_o i_o neglect_v till_o the_o 17_o of_o june_n on_o which_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n yet_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o neglect_v prevail_v only_o on_o the_o 20._o i_o have_v some_o holy_a ejaculation_n but_o 21_o 22._o the_o same_o and_o 23._o i_o pray_v not_o over_o the_o sermon_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v and_o omit_v all_o as_o before_o 24_o still_o pester_v with_o former_a neglect_n o_o sad_a sad_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v thus_o carry_v under_o grace_n thus_o he_o moan_n on_o 25_o 26._o and_o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o june_n on_o every_o day_n i_o have_v do_v little_a for_o the_o church_n or_o for_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o read_v god_n word_n sin_n sit_v too_o light_a not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n heaven_n have_v be_v out_o of_o sight_n and_o god_n out_o of_o mind_n too_o little_o have_v i_o be_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n with_o wander_n not_o oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n etc._n etc._n july_n 1682._o from_o 1_o to_o 10._o he_o complain_v particular_o upon_o each_o day_n in_o the_o same_o word_n be_v too_o much_o wander_n in_o holy_a duty_n too_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n upon_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v enough_o for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o much_o in_o ejaculation_n heaven_n too_o much_o out_o of_o sight_n etc._n etc._n sometime_o add_v i_o neglect_v read_v god_n word_n have_v do_v little_a for_o god_n church_n have_v not_o mind_v my_o soul_n nor_o god_n praise_n etc._n etc._n then_o conclude_v these_o ten_o day_n with_o this_o divine_a rapture_n o_fw-la this_o deadly_a thing_n sin_n have_v not_o due_o affect_v my_o heart_n into_o what_o a_o sad_a state_n be_v my_o soul_n fall_v o_o my_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o leave_v i_o not_o this_o same_o complaint_n concern_v those_o several_a omission_n he_o carry_v on_o against_o himself_o quite_o through_o july_n to_o the_o last_o day_n august_n 1682._o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o the_o same_o neglect_v all_o along_o the_o month_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o every_o day_n of_o the_o four_o week_n distinct_o yet_o sometime_o add_v god_n help_v i_o on_o the_o 2_o of_o august_n against_o my_o deadly_a sin_n on_o the_o 6_o day_n be_v the_o sabbath_n i_o be_v less_o trouble_v with_o wander_n than_o i_o be_v the_o day_n after_o on_o the_o 8_o day_n i_o arise_v from_o supper_n without_o drop_v any_o savoury_a word_n at_o the_o table_n on_o the_o 11._o god_n keep_v i_o much_o from_o my_o sin_n this_o day_n on_o the_o 13._o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n though_o the_o devil_n tell_v i_o i_o have_v not_o beg_v god_n presence_n my_o dear_a lord_n help_v i_o to_o repulse_v he_o with_o ease_n on_o the_o 16_o out_o of_o order_n all_o the_o day_n but_o at_o night_n god_n shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n more_o than_o a_o long_a time_n before_o but_o lose_v all_o the_o two_o follow_a day_n be_v hurry_v with_o cast_v up_o our_o shop_n go_v backward_o not_o forward_o on_o 19_o i_o feel_v my_o deadly_a sin_n crawl_v apace_o towards_o my_o heart_n which_o put_v i_o upon_o examination_n the_o 20._o day_n and_o find_v it_o not_o in_o vain_a to_o cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o the_o lord_n for_o i_o have_v thereby_o relief_n against_o my_o pride_n etc._n etc._n for_o which_o i_o have_v cry_v mighty_o to_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n after_o which_o i_o have_v sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n than_o the_o tempter_n strong_o tempt_v i_o to_o neglect_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o word_n but_o put_v up_o a_o ejaculation_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o overcome_v he_o again_o after_o hear_v a_o sermon_n i_o go_v down_o into_o the_o cellar_n to_o pray_v where_o the_o devil_n will_v affright_v i_o that_o something_o will_v appear_v which_o through_o the_o help_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o stout_o resist_v and_o bid_v satan_n defiance_n than_o he_o object_v against_o i_o my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o i_o can_v not_o but_o own_o yet_o can_v he_o not_o make_v i_o think_v so_o long_o upon_o it_o as_o to_o distract_v i_o in_o duty_n which_o be_v the_o devil_n design_n but_o osubtil_a serpent_n my_o lord_n goodness_n strengthen_v i_o to_o triumph_v over_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v a_o comfortable_a season_n upon_o the_o 21_o of_o august_n 1682._o all_o my_o old_a neglect_n prevail_v and_o wander_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n but_o god_n hear_v my_o ejaculation_n i_o get_v up_o early_o in_o the_o morning_n which_o sweet_a way_n i_o have_v much_o neglect_v through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n to_o pray_v wherein_o i_o find_v much_o of_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n love_v that_o lovely_a lovely_a one_o thy_o lord_n who_o have_v hear_v thou_o have_v do_v be_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o and_o will_v do_v great_a on_o the_o 26._o i_o neglect_v read_v the_o word_n be_v too_o much_o about_o worldly_a affair_n which_o take_v i_o off_o from_o god_n and_o i_o lose_v my_o time_n in_o duty_n nor_o can_v i_o get_v up_o my_o thought_n to_o my_o god_n in_o my_o hurry_v yet_o on_o the_o saturday_n follow_v i_o recover_v a_o bless_a frame_n o_o my_o soul_n love_n and_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o september_n the_o 2._o i_o be_v at_o a_o fast_o for_o the_o fire_n of_o london_n where_o i_o be_v not_o free_a of_o my_o aforesaid_a omission_n yet_o wait_v there_o all_o the_o day_n at_o length_n have_v the_o sweet_a presence_n of_o god_n on_o the_o 4._o i_o have_v heaven_n in_o my_o sight_n and_o but_o little_o trouble_v with_o wander_n yet_o too_o little_o look_v i_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o sit_v up_o late_o for_o duty_n and_o god_n make_v it_o sweet_a to_o i_o on_o the_o seven_o he_o make_v his_o old_a moan_n against_o himself_o say_v i_o feat_n my_o own_o self_n righteousness_n the_o 10._o god_n discover_v my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o cause_v his_o withdrawment_n from_o i_o and_o that_o wish_v to_o die_v to_o avoid_v misery_n by_o god_n withdrawing_n be_v but_o a_o pang_n of_o passion_n the_o 15._o old_a wander_n etc._n etc._n return_v i_o think_v my_o murmur_a be_v the_o cause_n i_o first_o read_v isa_n 65.22_o 23_o 24._o from_o whence_o upon_o my_o ejaculation_n god_n speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o so_o have_v after_o delight_n in_o duty_n the_o 19_o god_n discover_v another_o sin_n my_o seeking_z the_o praise_n of_o man_n that_o darken_v his_o face_n from_o i_o the_o 23._o but_o little_a sensible_a how_o i_o have_v grieve_v away_o god_n good_a spirit_n in_o morning_n prayer_n the_o 25._o have_v little_a sense_n of_o god_n put_v a_o vail_n
i_o have_v learn_v no_o more_o from_o so_o eminent_a a_o pattern_n of_o piety_n through_o hope_n of_o enjoy_v he_o long_o and_o often_o this_o make_v i_o neglect_v observe_v and_o remember_v many_o sweet_a expression_n which_o now_o i_o wish_v i_o have_v not_o do_v etc._n etc._n the_o three_o and_o most_o perfect_a character_n i_o have_v from_o his_o own_o gracious_a sister_n who_o write_v thus_o of_o he_o my_o dear_a brother_n mr._n john_n draper_n be_v bear_v march_n 26.1663_o of_o godly_a parent_n though_o he_o be_v much_o bereave_v of_o the_o benefit_n of_o their_o education_n of_o he_o they_o die_v before_o he_o be_v 12._o year_n old_a yet_o have_v they_o do_v their_o duty_n for_o he_o till_o then_o put_v up_o many_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o god_n in_o his_o behalf_n which_o the_o lord_n gracious_o answer_v in_o take_v care_n of_o the_o fatherless_a after_o in_o the_o year_n 1675._o he_o be_v put_v to_o a_o schoolmaster_n who_o be_v as_o careful_a for_o his_o soul_n as_o for_o his_o body_n etc._n etc._n in_o the_o year_n 1678._o he_o become_v a_o apprentice_n where_o he_o serve_v his_o master_n faithful_o be_v effectual_o call_v in_o the_o first_o year_n of_o his_o time_n and_o then_o reflect_v upon_o himself_o for_o his_o former_a mispend_v of_o time_n and_o neglect_v season_n of_o grace_n he_o now_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o better_a improvement_n of_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n which_o he_o have_v get_v by_o heart_n before_o he_o be_v 11._o year_n old_a at_o home_n and_o the_o sermon_n he_o have_v write_v abroad_o at_o school_n now_o become_v he_o more_o sweet_a to_o we_o all_o i_o never_o see_v he_o out_o of_o a_o heavenly_a frame_n but_o if_o he_o be_v not_o hear_n something_o of_o god_n he_o will_v be_v speak_v something_o from_o god_n if_o at_o any_o time_n we_o desire_v he_o to_o stay_v with_o we_o he_o will_v answer_v my_o time_n be_v not_o my_o own_o i_o must_v not_o neglect_v my_o master_n business_n much_o less_o god_n to_o who_o i_o must_v give_v a_o account_n of_o all_o my_o thoutgh_n word_n and_o deed_n i_o have_v much_o work_n to_o do_v and_o but_o little_a time_n to_o do_v it_o in_o this_o shall_v awe_n our_o heart_n from_o sin_n and_o make_v we_o earnest_a for_o pardon_v &_o prevent_v mercy_n o_o what_o need_v we_o have_v to_o stir_v up_o one_o another_o in_o way_n of_o godliness_n for_o heart-work_n be_v hard_a work_n and_o we_o love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o god_n he_o will_v oft_o bewail_v with_o tear_n to_o behold_v how_o the_o youth_n general_o profane_v the_o name_n of_o god_n and_o be_v unwearied_a in_o do_v the_o devil_n drudgery_n whereas_o we_o call_v christian_n be_v soon_o weary_a with_o do_v our_o master_n will_n who_o yoke_n be_v easy_a and_o his_o burden_n light_n add_v it_o be_v free_a grace_n that_o make_v the_o difference_n betwixt_o we_o and_o those_o vain_a youth_n he_o express_v his_o fear_n of_o set_v up_o for_o himself_o often_o observe_v how_o many_o be_v zealous_a while_o apprentice_n yet_o decline_v when_o become_v master_n who_o be_v ask_v why_o they_o have_v lose_v their_o first_o love_n answer_v it_o be_v for_o want_v of_o time_n to_o which_o he_o reply_v it_o be_v more_o for_o want_n of_o love_n than_o of_o time_n this_o he_o fear_v may_v be_v his_o own_o case_n if_o god_n prevent_v it_o not_o be_v ask_v if_o he_o be_v willing_a to_o suffer_v for_o god_n he_o answer_v if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o it_o he_o will_v qualify_v i_o for_o it_o but_o he_o think_v god_n will_v not_o put_v that_o honour_n upon_o he_o the_o time_n that_o other_o take_v for_o recreation_n he_o spend_v in_o holy_a duty_n and_o the_o money_n other_o spend_v id_o he_o lay_v out_o either_o profitable_o or_o charitable_o his_o sickness_n begin_v jan._n 23._o 1682._o which_o he_o bear_v with_o wonderful_a patience_n all_o along_o ever_o desire_v god_n will_v complete_a his_o work_n in_o and_o upon_o he_o o_o how_o will_v he_o bless_v god_n that_o it_o fare_v well_o with_o his_o soul_n how_o ever_o it_o fare_v with_o his_o body_n and_o that_o god_n be_v never_o want_v to_o we_o when_o we_o be_v not_o want_v to_o ourselves_o though_o some_o blame_v he_o for_o be_v too_o bookish_a during_o his_o weakness_n he_o answer_v shall_v read_v impair_v my_o health_n i_o be_o sure_a it_o refresh_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o wish_v you_o all_o to_o prize_v communion_n with_o god_n and_o to_o make_v your_o peace_n with_o god_n before_o the_o night_n come_v have_v i_o now_o that_o work_n to_o do_v i_o may_v expect_v frown_n where_o through_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o have_v smile_n upon_o i_o which_o i_o can_v express_v when_o in_o the_o great_a extremity_n he_o will_v say_v what_o be_v all_o this_o to_o that_o which_o christ_n suffer_v for_o i_o cry_v out_o o_o the_o gentleness_n of_o god_n to_o i_o compare_v with_o crhist_n sorrow_n call_v to_o hear_v the_o 14_o 15_o 16_o and_o 17._o chapter_n of_o john_n read_v to_o he_o when_o weak_a he_o will_v lay_v smile_v with_o his_o eye_n and_o his_o hand_n lift_v up_o to_o heaven_n and_o a_o few_o day_n before_o he_o die_v he_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o sister_n i_o know_v you_o wish_v i_o well_o i_o can_v be_v well_o here_o therefore_o be_v willing_a to_o let_v i_o go_v it_o be_v not_o long_a since_o god_n make_v you_o willing_a to_o leave_v i_o in_o a_o troublesome_a world_n and_o now_o will_v not_o you_o be_v willing_a to_o give_v i_o up_o to_o god_n if_o a_o taste_n of_o heaven_n be_v so_o sweet_a here_o what_o be_v the_o full_a enjoyment_n let_v i_o go_v first_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a time_n and_o we_o shall_v meet_v again_o etc._n etc._n i_o have_v forbear_v to_o mention_v my_o death_n to_o the_o loss_n of_o myself_o and_o other_o because_o your_o spirit_n can_v bear_v it_o o_o how_o be_o i_o comfort_v in_o the_o stock_n of_o prayer_n go_v for_o i_o when_o i_o can_v now_o pray_v for_o myself_o especial_o that_o christ_n be_v intercede_v for_o i_o in_o heaven_n after_o this_o his_o speech_n be_v scarce_o intelligible_a yet_o understand_v he_o say_v lord_n thou_o know_v what_o i_o have_v do_v and_o what_o i_o have_v leave_v undo_v oft_o over_o and_o all_o night_n speak_v with_o such_o earnestness_n as_o think_v he_o be_v understand_v the_o next_o morning_n friend_n persuade_v i_o to_o withdraw_v as_o be_v no_o more_o useful_a to_o he_o but_o hurtful_a to_o myself_o and_o if_o he_o become_v more_o sensible_a it_o will_v grieve_v he_o to_o see_v i_o grieve_v but_o after_o some_o hour_n absence_n return_v to_o he_o he_o take_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n to_o comfort_v i_o say_v with_o arm_n spread_v my_o god_n have_v chain_v up_o satan_n which_o be_v a_o answer_n to_o that_o very_a request_n put_v up_o for_o he_o a_o little_a before_o thus_o when_o death_n that_o king_n of_o terror_n and_o terror_n of_o king_n be_v unstung_a he_o submit_v to_o its_o stroke_n and_o change_v his_o life_n for_o a_o better_a aug._n 3._o 1682._o he_o appoint_v the_o text_n for_o his_o funeral_n sermon_n to_o be_v gen._n 47.9_o as_o be_v relate_v before_o in_o the_o time_n of_o his_o health_n yet_o find_v the_o sentence_n of_o death_n upon_o himself_o etc._n etc._n he_o be_v bear_v 1663._o begin_v his_o last_o sickness_n on_o jan._n 23._o and_o die_v when_o august_n be_v but_o 3._o day_n old_a thus_o this_o bless_a soul_n pass_v from_o three_o to_o three_o hand_v by_o three_o in_o one_o the_o trinity_n from_o womb_n to_o tomb._n three_o three_o complete_v his_o race_n turn_v all_o his_o grief_n to_o everlasting_a peace_n the_o next_o character_n be_v that_o of_o a_o minister_n who_o write_v thus_o to_o he_o in_o his_o last_o sickness_n etc._n etc._n shall_v i_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v of_o your_o sickness_n i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v a_o evil_a to_o nature_n but_o i_o rejoice_v in_o hope_n that_o it_o will_v increase_v your_o grace_n not_o doubt_v but_o to_o such_o a_o serious_a christian_a and_o religious_a person_n as_o you_o have_v be_v this_o affliction_n will_v be_v the_o take_v away_o of_o sin_n and_o this_o rod_n with_o aaron_n will_v blossom_v with_o the_o peaceable_a fruit_n of_o righteousness_n your_o great_a knowledge_n in_o the_o mystery_n of_o salvation_n and_o eminent_a proficiency_n in_o the_o school_n of_o christ_n may_v well_o put_v a_o supersedeas_fw-la to_o any_o instruction_n from_o i_o yet_o give_v i_o leave_v as_o a_o faithful_a monitor_n to_o mind_v you_o of_o your_o duty_n of_o patience_n that_o you_o may_v be_v as_o eminent_a in_o that_o grace_n in_o the_o time_n of_o your_o sickness_n as_o you_o be_v in_o other_o grace_n in_o the_o time_n of_o your_o health_n i_o know_v it_o
be_v impossible_a for_o nature_n to_o endure_v without_o murmur_a the_o loss_n of_o such_o a_o mercy_n as_o health_n but_o grace_n can_v weigh_v these_o consideration_n first_o consider_v who_o be_v the_o author_n of_o your_o affliction_n it_o spring_v not_o out_o of_o die_v dust_n nor_o come_v by_o chance_n but_o it_o be_v my_o father_n hand_n that_o appoint_v the_o time_n place_n measure_n and_o manner_n so_o must_v not_o murmur_v second_o consider_v though_o you_o be_v a_o son_n of_o god_n yet_o your_o sin_n have_v deserve_v hell_n and_o thither_o have_v you_o be_v cast_v have_v not_o your_o dear_a redeemer_n die_v for_o you_o but_o see_v you_o be_v deliver_v from_o wrath_n to_o come_v and_o this_o be_v all_o your_o hell_n you_o be_v like_a to_o have_v to_o wit_n this_o present_a chastisement_n therefore_o you_o may_v not_o murmur_v etc._n etc._n three_o consider_v god_n never_o afflict_v willing_o but_o when_o need_n be_v and_o for_o gracious_a end_n to_o subdue_v sin_n and_o to_o strengthen_v grace_n to_o wean_v from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o make_v heaven_n more_o desirable_a etc._n etc._n his_o bowel_n still_o yearn_v while_o his_o rod_n be_v on_o our_o back_n if_o this_o be_v so_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v patient_a four_o meditate_v much_o on_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o happy_a rest_n there_o prepare_v for_o you_o which_o transcend_v our_o apprehension_n while_o we_o tabernacle_n in_o house_n of_o clay_n o_o the_o river_n of_o pleasure_n the_o mansion_n of_o bliss_n the_o region_n of_o happiness_n the_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o sceptre_n of_o power_n the_o robe_n of_o glory_n and_o the_o throne_n of_o honour_n that_o be_v there_o prepare_v for_o the_o lamb_n follower_n no_o sin_v be_v there_o to_o provoke_v god_n no_o suffering_n to_o molest_v we_o no_o weep_a eye_n sigh_v breast_n or_o complain_v tongue_n be_v find_v there_o no_o cry_v there_o o_o my_o head_n my_o head_n and_z o_o my_o bowel_n be_v pain_v etc._n etc._n but_o all_o rest_n in_o the_o arm_n of_o love_n and_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n o_o happy_a soul_n that_o be_v now_o get_v thither_o and_o since_o you_o will_v short_o be_v there_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v submissive_a to_o and_o rejoice_v in_o the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o he_o give_v you_o both_o a_o happy_a and_o a_o comfortable_a departure_n out_o of_o time_n into_o eternity_n be_v the_o prayer_n of_o etc._n etc._n the_o last_o character_n be_v that_o of_o my_o own_o from_o my_o own_o personal_a knowledge_n of_o he_o which_o though_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o be_v that_o of_o many_o other_o who_o be_v more_o conversant_a with_o he_o yet_o be_v enough_o to_o give_v i_o a_o prospect_n of_o his_o almost_o unparalleled_a piety_n i_o never_o converse_v with_o a_o more_o mortify_v youngman_n from_o youthful_a vanity_n so_o serious_a in_o his_o deportment_n so_o savoury_a in_o his_o discourse_n with_o so_o grave_a a_o aspect_n and_o and_o so_o compose_v a_o countenance_n as_o i_o seldom_o law_n in_o this_o our_o english_a israel_n he_o have_v so_o faithful_o follow_v these_o follow_a rule_n first_o let_v not_o god_n find_v i_o in_o my_o bed_n when_o he_o look_v for_o i_o on_o my_o knee_n second_o nor_o wander_v thought_n eat_v out_o the_o life_n of_o my_o duty_n three_o nor_o be_v slight_a in_o read_v god_n word_n or_o hear_v it_o preach_v which_o i_o shall_v digest_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o repeat_v in_o my_o life_n four_o i_o must_v redeem_v time_n five_o deny_v myself_o six_o do_v more_o than_o other_o seven_o be_v careful_a of_o my_o company_n eighth_n leave_v the_o savour_n of_o grace_n behind_o i_o in_o all_o company_n nine_o be_v holy_a in_o all_o my_o relation_n as_o a_o servant_n etc._n etc._n ten_o no_o sin_n must_v sit_v light_n eleven_o nor_o may_v i_o live_v in_o that_o which_o i_o know_v or_o fear_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n twelve_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o mourn_v for_o sin_n my_o own_o and_o other_o thirteen_o to_o be_v much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n have_v god_n oft_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o heaven_n oft_o in_o my_o sight_n fourteen_o to_o be_v oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n fifteen_o to_o resist_v the_o first_o rise_n of_o sin_n sixteenth_o to_o bridle_v my_o tongue_n seventeen_o to_o feed_v in_o god_n fear_n at_o my_o meal_n time_n eighteen_o to_o do_v all_o my_o secular_a and_o sacred_a affair_n for_o god_n glory_n the_o good_a of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o etc._n etc._n that_o he_o familliarize_v his_o soul_n with_o these_o and_o the_o like_a help_n and_o due_o and_o daily_o weigh_v himself_o in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n soon_o become_v a_o none_o such_o in_o christian_a attainment_n so_o that_o the_o way_n of_o this_o godly-wise_a youngman_n be_v above_o as_o prov._n 15.24_o raise_v the_o foot_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o a_o high_a region_n and_o above_o the_o head_n of_o most_o other_o youngman_n sure_o i_o be_o his_o conversasion_n be_v in_o heaven_n as_o phil._n 3.20_o while_o his_o commoration_n be_v on_o earth_n the_o rabbin_n say_v that_o cain_n sin_n be_v not_o divide_v aright_o for_o god_n for_o which_o fault_n they_o suppose_v god_n bring_v that_o brand_n of_o go_v about_o eversigh_v and_o tremble_v etc._n etc._n but_o i_o may_v without_o vanity_n affirm_v that_o if_o any_o young_a man_n learned_a to_o divide_v aright_o betwixt_o his_o general_n and_o particular_a call_n this_o holy_a youngman_n do_v who_o seldom_o or_o never_o will_v suffer_v they_o to_o justle_v out_o one_o the_o other_o as_o he_o will_v not_o give_v his_o masters-time_n to_o god_n worship_n so_o nor_o god_n time_n to_o his_o master_n service_n i_o wish_v all_o apprentice_n will_v learn_v to_o write_v after_o so_o fair_a a_o copy_n and_o to_o dress_v themselves_o by_o so_o lovely_a a_o looking-glass_n i_o know_v also_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n rest_v upon_o he_o in_o most_o eminent_a act_n and_o emanation_n and_o i_o stand_v admire_v not_o only_o at_o his_o most_o evangelical_n experience_n exercise_n examination_n and_o evidence_n above_o mention_v but_o also_o at_o his_o most_o sensible_a and_o savoury_a letter_n not_o only_o write_v with_o his_o own_o mortal_a hand_n but_o with_o a_o most_o gracious_a heart_n in_o one_o of_o which_o i_o find_v how_o he_o oblige_v his_o correspondent_a a_o godly_a young_a man_n to_o holiness_n with_o these_o argument_n first_o we_o have_v covenant_v not_o to_o allow_v ourselves_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v all_o mean_n for_o the_o death_n and_o destruction_n thereof_o second_o to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a to_o we_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o forsake_v god_n and_o his_o gospel_n three_o to_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n against_o the_o temptation_n both_o of_o prosperity_n and_o adversity_n lest_o we_o be_v draw_v from_o god_n four_o to_o take_v the_o law_n of_o god_n for_o the_o rule_n of_o our_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n square_n our_o whole_a life_n thereby_o five_o to_o neglect_v nothing_o we_o know_v to_o be_v our_o duty_n six_o to_o resign_v up_o ourselves_o to_o god_n and_o avouch_v he_o for_o our_o lord_n seven_o to_o own_o jehovah_n as_o our_o portion_n promise_v to_o serve_v he_o all_o our_o day_n eight_o to_o improve_v christ_n as_o he_o be_v the_o new_a and_o live_a way_n for_o access_n to_o the_o father_n nine_o to_o be_v marry_v to_o christ_n accept_v he_o for_o our_o head_n and_o husband_n in_o all_o state_n and_o time_n take_v our_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v though_o suffering_n and_o death_n do_v accrue_v we_o must_v renounce_v our_o own_o will_n and_o wisdom_n etc._n etc._n in_o another_o i_o find_v the_o saint_n pedigree_n first_o what_o christ_n be_v to_o we_o he_o be_v our_o lord_n 1._o cor._n 1_o 2._o our_o friend_n cant._n 5.16_o our_o flesh_n and_o blood_n heb._n 2.14_o our_o brother_n ver._n 17._o our_o father_n isa_n 63.16_o our_o husband_n rom._n 7.4_o what_o we_o be_v to_o christ_n his_o servant_n rom._n 6.22_o his_o friend_n john_n 15.14_o his_o kinsman_n mark_v 3.21.35_o his_o brethren_n john_n 7.3_o his_o son_n gal._n 3.26_o his_o spouse_n sister_n love_n and_o dove_n cant._n 4.9_o the_o church_n be_v one_o vine_n john_n 15._o 1._o one_o seed_n gal._n 3.16_o one_o temple_n eph._n 2.16_o one_o body_n rom._n 12.5_o one_o spirit_n 1._o cor._n 6.16_o and_o one_o christ_n 1._o cor._n 12.12_o and_o upon_o the_o survey_n of_o this_o pedigree_n he_o cry_v out_o lord_z what_o be_v man_n thou_o be_v thus_o mindful_a of_o he_o make_v he_o in_o some_o respect_n high_a than_o angel_n thou_o have_v crown_v he_o with_o glory_n and_o honour_n etc._n etc._n psal_n 8._o in_o another_o letter_n to_o his_o elder_a sister_n write_v about_o three_o a_o clock_n in_o