his death receive him into thy armes of mercy that his mournfull Father may yet have this comfort that though thou hast made him Childlesse and left him not one Son alive on earth yet which is much better they may live with thee in Eternal blisse in Heaven Dear Father grant us this our request and that onely for thy beloved Son JESVS CHRIST his sake our Lord and onely Saviour Amen In his Examination at Maidstone before the Justices when he was asked what provoked him to commit so foule an act 't is strange to see how he seems to make my hard using of him to be the motive and provocation whereas it is well known to all that never Son was treated more tenderly by a Father I will set down the effect of his Examination and my Answer to himself by a Letter when I came to the knowledge of it and the true story of the Doublet he so much complained of attested by divers who were then by And when at last he asked forgivenesse of me and desired to hear from me you shall see my bowels toward him in my last Letter The effect of his Examination The fact of murthering his Brother he freely confessed before the Justices It is already in print and it is my grief to repeat it But being asked why he did it He answered It was because upon a difference between him and his Brother about a week before May day last concerning a Doublet his Father threatned that he would ruine him never look on him more keep him short while he lived and at his death make him a Servant to his Brother that whereas it was said by some that he had a thousand pounds a year I would not leave him a thousand groats and that I would make him as poor as his Unkle Nicholas and that for the space of four yeares last past he hath not had of his Father forty pounds he believeth not twenty and that his Fathers displeasure against him still continued These if truths might have been ground of discontent but no provocations to so wicked an act But he who is the father of murthers is also the father of lyes and taught man this lesson from the beginning We are all apt to lay our faults on others our Father Adam did it in Paradise The Woman whom thou gavest me said he she gave me of the fruit and I did eat As if he had said if thou hadst not given her to me I had never eaten of the forbidden fruit Oh ingratefull Adam to upbraid thy Maker who gave thee a Woman the best of Creatures for an help and not for thy ruine O wicked Son so to pervert thy Fathers words which were spoken to thee for thy amendment but not for thy hurt My Letter to him will declare the truth and in what manner the words were spoken to him Can it be imagined if any thing had past that had troubled him about that Doublet that it should provoke him to commit that foule fact a quarter of a yeare after especially since he had the same if not greater opportunity all along and all manner of respect and kindness both from his Brother me passing still to him to the very night before and all former quarrels quite forgot I had been from them seven weeks a Prisoner in Upnor Castle and did not see them but as they came sometimes to me passing between London and my house I came not home many dayes before and the very day before I and both my Sons were at Feversham to see a Match at Running a sport they delighted in wee were as pleasant as ever and so went to our Chambers Bed without the least shew of any discontent But I will shew you my Sons Letter to me and my Answer to him which will discover the truth of these things Freeman's Letter Most dear and loving Father ALthough through the heinousnesse of my offence I am become unworthy to see your face more in this world yet I hope such is your Fatherly goodnesse that you will vouchsafe to accept and reade these few and last lines of your dead Son Dead to your selfe dead to all this world and I hope through Gods grace dead to sin but alive to God through Jesus Christ our Lord Sir I praise God I am come to a sight and sense of my sin I begin to feel the weight of my burden but I hope the Lord Iesus will very shortly ease me in full assurance whereof I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Sir I desire you may have comfort in my death although you have had little in my life For I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son The Lord make me worthy to be one of his Sir all I beg at your hands is your pardon your blessing your prayers which I doubt not to obtain I am now neer my journeys end and I hope in a very short time to rest in Abrahams bosome whither my Brother is gone before me Is gone hinc illae lachrymae and you my dear Father shall in Gods good time follow after Comfort your selfe with these words Sir I hope through the strength of Gods grace to look death in the face couragiously and depart this world penitently not doubting but that when I shall petition Lord remember me now thou art in thy Kingdome I shall to my unspeakable comfort receive that gracious answer from the mouth of my triumphant Saviour This day shalt thou be with me in paradise In prayer for which and assurance whereof through faith in the Lord Iesus with my humble thanks for your tender love and Fatherly care from my very cradle to this day although undeserved my humble duty presented to your self praying to God to make you happier without us than you were with us I humbly take leave Your Son for a few daies But I hope the Son of God for ever FREEMAN SONDES To his Letter I returned this Answer Son Freeman I Have received your Letter and like well of the words and desires you use therein and wish with all my soul you were as that speaks you That you were heartily sorry for that most high and crying sinne committed against your heavenly and earthly Father in so foulely murthering your most innocent brother Upon these hopes though never greater injury was done to man I doe really and fully forgive you And doe and have and shall as long as you have being here most heartily and earnestly every moment of time beg of God that he would give you a true sight of this and of all other your sinnes and receive you to his mercy and forgivenesse But let me tell you that will never be but upon a true repentance of all your sins and an acknowledgment of them and that let me be plain with you I yet see not in you For this most detestable fact you confesse indeed you did it but as much as in
went with them so long as it was for King and Parliament and I think did them as faithfull service as any But when it came to Parliament and no King and Parliament against King then I bogled I knew not what to doe I was contented to fit still and not do against my Conscience I could not nor would not doe And though I have suffered enough yet I never acted any thing against the State never was in any Plot or Petition against them No so great a Royallist then For my Religion I am what I ever professed and I hope better then ever I was for I know that non progredi est regredi I ever loved solidities Formalities and outward shewes of a leafy Religion never took with me I ever suspected those who to seem more holy and Religious to the world had their Congregations apart crying stand off to their Brethren I am holier then thou and talke like the proud Pharisee God I thank thee I am not as other men and brag of new Lights sprung from old Heresies and will not be contented with those antient Apostolicall and holy practices of the Church but will have the Sacraments after a new way and time too and are angry if the Scripture be not taken in their sense when God knowes they understand not one word of the Originall to expound it by That care not how foule their heart be within so they can but with their eyes and hands make a shew of holinesse and seem to be very strict in keeping the Sabbath though they break all the other Commandements as if he that said thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath day had not likewise said thou shalt not kill thou shalt not steale I remember it is written that God was not in the fire or the boystrous winde but in the soft and gentle voyce And Christ sayes Learne of me for I am lowly and meek These boysterous and fiery spirited men I much doubt whether the Spirit of God be in them or no I am and ever was farre from deriding or scoffing at any of them I onely wish that they were what they seem to be I meddle not with them but leave them to stand or fall to their owne Master The way that I profess and propose to my self to walk in is quite different but I thinke a sure one 't is short but full Christ his owne way and this it is To love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy Soule and thy neighbour as thy selfe I thank heaven I have indeavoured these things in the whole course of my life I never feared any thing in the world more than sin because it offended my God nor ever was much troubled with any outward losses and crosses so long as I found I had peace within my selfe and with my God And I praise God in the midst of this deluge of troubles which might have sunk an ordinary ship I have hardly taken in any water but that of tears of repentance and tears of naturall love and affection which could not but be aboundant in my condition yet I have not been overwhelmed with them The good hand of God still susteined me and his comforts ever refreshed my soule so that thorow the thickest darknesse of this black and fearfull cloud I could see the Sun of comfort I knew my God was all-sufficient and that he both could and would in his good time totally dispell it and restore me the like comforts again For that other branch of Love to my Neighbour this I can say That to the poor I have ever been charitable and relieved their necessities as occasion was offered and so shall doe as long as I live and at my death not forget to doe them good as the members of my Saviour Christ My other neighbours of what quality soever I have treated as Brethren I never to my knowledge or with my good will wronged or defrauded any In all my dealings with them I have still made that my rule to doe as I would be done by To my best remembrance I never did that to another but I was contented should be done to me in the same case And he that walkes by that rule cannot erre it is our Saviours and as himselfe sayes it is the fulfilling of all righteousnesse THE LAST CHARGE Some are of opinion that I can hardly forget or forgive an injury done to me THE ANSWER I desire no more to be forgiven of Heaven then I am ready to forgive all the world Heaven it selfe doth not promise pardon and forgivenesse but to the penitent sinner You must acknowledge your offence you must be sorry for your sinne you must promise and indeavour amendment before you can expect forgivenesse of God I have been as foulely injur'd and as deeply wounded and that by those of neer relation from whom I have highly deserved as possibly could be Yet let them performe to me the condition God himselfe requires and I both can and will forgive them More then this I conceive God requires not Our daily prayer is Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespasse against us Otherwise then thus to forgive is to seem as though you slighted or did not understand the injury And what would the effect of this be but an incouraging the same parties or others to doe the like againe or worse We all offend God and our Neighbour And our Saviours rule is to forgive not to seven times but to seventy times seven times that is to a numberlesse number If the injuries and affronts done to me be not too notorious and wilfull I can and doe daily forgive them undesired I never minde them But if they be great and speak loud even then if the party will but acknowledge them and professe hearty sorrow for them be the offence never so foule and great I have a charity to forgive them More than this I think is not required of man or begged of God Now that I can and have thus forgiven is evident by that short Prayer I composed and was used in my Family for my Son Morning and Evening so long as he lived and recommended to the Churches about me I am sure a greater injury could not be done to me than he did The Prayer LOrd we beseech thee look down in mercy on that most miserable and unhappy creature of thine if thou be not the more mercifull Freeman Sondes Lord soften his hard and stubborn heart and give him a true sight of his most hainous and bloody sinne and an hearty sorrow for the same Lord give him grace to turn to thee by true and unfeigned repentance that so thou mayst have mercy on his poor soule Thou art the fountain of mercy and all flowes from thee His Father upon his earnest desire though he killed oh foulely killed his dear Son and ruin'd him in all his hopes hath pardoned him Oh! doe thou then oh Father of mercies in that sad hour of
pounds which would have purchased a great stock in Job's time and Countrey I had three faire Houses then in my own hands all well furnished and at least two thounsand pounds a yeare about them My Lands were all well stockt I had at least one hundred head of great Cattell Halfe an hundred Horses and those none of the worst some of them worth forty or fifty pounds a piece I had five hundred Sheep beside other stock About a thousand Quarters of Wheat and Malt in Garners and ten Barnes none of the least all full of good Corn and great quantities of Flaxe and Hops All this was seized and taken away at one time with Plate and Jewells for I removed nothing concluding my selse and Estate secure enough so long as I acted for them Beside all this they had the Rents and Profits of my Estate for seven yeares together and the two first yeares allowed neither me nor my Children any thing out of it They had not onely the Profits of my owne Estate but what they could get of Alderman Freemans to whom I was Administrator and of my Mother-in-Law to whom she being a Lunatick I was Guardian By that meanes she and her Children were damnified at least a thousand pounds And no returne would be made of it though they knew it to be so At last I was forced to pay three thousand five hundred pounds for Composition or else for ought I know they would have kept my Estate till this time or sold it But perhaps it may be said to me Iob was a righteous Man but these punishments were inflicted upon you for your Delinquency for being in Armes and siding against the Parliament To that I boldly say I never was in Armes against the PARLIAMENT or ever sided or assisted any against them or ever had any charge of Delinquency laid against me or ever was called before the Parliament or any Committee though I alwayes sought it and laboured it for any offence Neither could I ever learn to this day why I was Sequestred or Imprisoned Indeed some Kentish men have told me I was put down to set up others and set up they were but did not long continue When I was to compound for my Estate neither the Committee before whom I appeared or my selfe could finde out how I might be made a Delinquent that so I might be capable to compound There was a Taxe for my Parke then unpaid because it was over-rated and it was agreed I being willing to enjoy my Estate and be at liberty that I should be entred and so it stands in their books a Delinquent for not paying of Taxes This was all my Delinquency and that hath long since been satisfied so that now I am no Delinquent nor indeed even was and therefore I hope for that matter I may stand clear with Iob. But in this I am sure I goe beyond him his afflictions were but for a short time about a year at most and then he was at quiet Mine have been for these twelve years ever since forty three and still continue I am now a Prisoner And the last yeare upon a suit of the Trustees in the Exchequer for arrears of Rent due to the Church I was there denyed the benefit of the Generall Pardon which as I conceived took off those arreares And it was likewise decreed that I should pay to them one hundred and five pounds as Rent for the Parsonage of Eastry for that year 1643. when the Parliament farm'd it out for four hundred and ten pounds and received all the money for it I had not one peny benefit by it they had it all and yet I must pay that Rent It was decreed also that I should pay to them forty nine pounds and ten shillings and seventy two pounds which I proved I had paid to Mr. Brett and Mr. Flote by order from the Committee of Plundered Ministers by way of Augmentation I produced their Acquittances for it and Mr. Sherman the Receiver knew and allowed of Mr. Bretts payment and yet it was decreed that I should repay those sums to them againe which I conceived to be very hard measure and strange justice that all this should befall me onely for that marke of Delinquency This caused me to Petition the Lord Protector for reliefe and if he be not pleased to relieve me or recommend me back to the Court where possibly I may now finde more equall justice the two Barons whom then sate being removed I must pay those summes and I stand now in Contempt of that Court for not doing it So then my miseries are not yet ended and were the same power that then ruled to continue still I should never hope to end them but with my life But I hope more righteous things from the present Protector But Iob had a Wife and kindred that vexed him She gave him counsaile to curse God and dye Indeed in all the time of my troubles I have not had a Wife either to comfort or vexe me nor did I desire one Now I doe and shall indeavour it God send me a good and fruitfull one who may help to sweeren all my miseries Kindred I had but they come not now at me they know they were too much concerned But at a distance they drank wine in Bowls and ranted high saying The Heires are now killed the Inheritame shall be ours But perhaps they may be deceived And for my Neighbours see how some of them have all along reproached me Iob had not greater nor more false things charged against him then I have had For my Sonnes wickednesse I must needs say Cains was not greater for he did it in the field and first talked with his Brother and possibly did it with a Sword and had some pretence of reason for it because Abel and his offering was more respected But thou didst murther thy Brother basely and inhumanely not in the Field but in his Bed Thou didst not talk or dispute it with him but didst kill him sleeping and couldst heare nothing but sad groans from him Nor didst thou doe it with a Sword or manly weapon but with a butcherly Cleaver beat out his brains And as if that had been too little with a most cowardly Steeletto didst stab him seven or eight times in and about the heart nor for this thy so doing couldst thou have any such pretence as Cain had for thou wert ever equally respected with thy Brother Even profane Esau came far short of thee He did but resolve to kill his Brother and when he came to him he repented of his purpose and embraced him But thou didst goe through with thy work in the height of malice And when thou hadst brought me to him after thou hadst slain him I saw not any relenting in thee or one teare drop from thine eyes for that foule fact But certainly Judas went beyond thee none so wicked as he Yet perhaps it may be said that he did not know Christ to be the Lord of Life and then he did but betray his innocent Master Thou didst more for thou didst kill thy innocent brother Iudas did but deliver his Master up to the Judge for his tryall thou wert Judge and Executioner thy selfe He might plead that after he took the sop the Devill entred into him and that his Master bade him What thou dost doe quickly and that he was hired for thirty pieces of silver Thou hadst no Devill enter into thee nor any command or hire but thy own malicious nature He did it in the dark of the night ashamed that the light should behold so foule a fact Thou in the faire morning when the Sunne arose and shined cleare He gave his Master time to pray before he took him Thou didst kill thy Brother fleeping not suffering him to wake or speak onely to sigh and groan and that most sadly but all moved not thee Oh Heaven Whither doth the remembrance of thy wickednesse transport me Can Iudas his sinne find any to contest with it thine comes too neere it Yet in this thou hast much the better of him He when he considered what he had done despairing hang'd himself and so went to hell that place of torment prepared for the son of perdition Thou hadst many dayes after thy foule fact to consider what thou hadst done And I thank Heaven thou didst heartily and sincerely repent thee of thy sins as I am well assured by those godly Ministers who were with thee to the last and so art gone to Heaven the place of thy Blisse prepared for all truly penitent soules FINIS Pag. 14. lin. 26. for Publique read Private