i_o and_o lie_v in_o my_o bosom_n and_o rise_v in_o the_o morning_n more_o strong_a then_o at_o night_n ah_o when_o my_o former_a holy_a life_n shall_v be_v more_o terrible_a than_o other_o wicked_a life_n when_o my_o former_a prayer_n shall_v be_v like_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n unto_o i_o when_o those_o duty_n which_o shall_v be_v my_o comfort_n be_v my_o terror_n alas_o what_o can_v my_o poor_a soul_n do_v when_o my_o present_a sin_n and_o my_o past_a duty_n which_o of_o they_o be_v the_o heavy_a burden_n unto_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o shall_v i_o do_v when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n than_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o affliction_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o make_v i_o weep_v a_o tear_n or_o two_o and_o my_o vain_a heart_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n will_v persuade_v i_o that_o i_o weep_v for_o my_o sin_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o bless_a condition_n to_o i_o they_o be_v sad_a and_o i_o be_o miserable_a i_o be_o guilty_a of_o that_o which_o their_o conscience_n do_v but_o accuse_v they_o of_o alas_o have_v i_o lose_v my_o communion_n with_o god_n my_o sweet_a communion_n and_o the_o power_n i_o have_v to_o prevail_v with_o he_o for_o any_o mercy_n almost_o that_o i_o pray_v for_o now_o i_o can_v pray_v and_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o go_v away_o without_o a_o blessing_n i_o can_v almost_o be_v content_a to_o be_v wicked_a thou_o know_v my_o heart_n or_o else_o my_o tear_n will_v deceive_v thou_o as_o well_o as_o i_o if_o they_o be_v worldly_a thought_n that_o have_v estrange_v i_o from_o thou_o thou_o know_v how_o to_o cure_v i_o if_o my_o utter_a impoverishing_n will_v cure_v i_o let_v i_o be_v as_o poor_a as_o job_n if_o thou_o be_v not_o such_o a_o physician_n as_o thou_o be_v i_o be_v past_o thy_o cure_n meditat._n iii_o lord_n i_o be_o come_v now_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o my_o tear_n into_o thy_o bosom_n to_o tell_v thou_o the_o sad_a thought_n and_o sorrow_n of_o my_o heart_n ah_o my_o god_n in_o this_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o pride_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesnesse_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o working_n of_o my_o grace_n grow_v very_o short-lived_a in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o want_v of_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o have_v groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v almost_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o by_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o somewhat_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o sigh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_n make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v strait_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o we_o will_v say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v this_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o
not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o may_v ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o faint_a faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o than_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o man_n what_o injury_n soever_o he_o both_v i_o now_o i_o will_v so_o watch_v over_o my_o word_n that_o i_o will_v not_o offend_v with_o my_o tongue_n and_o that_o by_o degree_n i_o may_v attain_v some_o perfection_n herein_o i_o here_o vow_v every_o week_n between_o this_o and_o the_o next_o communion_n to_o keep_v one_o day_n so_o strict_o that_o i_o will_v not_o during_o that_o day_n speak_v so_o much_o as_o one_o idle_a word_n that_o day_n if_o i_o do_v i_o will_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a lord_n how_o excellent_a be_v thy_o service_n so_o pure_a so_o sweet_a o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o serve_v thou_o meditat._v xxvii_o when_o i_o read_v the_o story_n of_o the_o martyr_n i_o do_v wish_v that_o i_o have_v live_v in_o those_o day_n that_o i_o may_v also_o die_v as_o they_o do_v or_o methinks_v i_o can_v now_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n rather_o than_o yield_v to_o the_o abominable_a idolatry_n and_o superstition_n of_o the_o sea_n of_o rome_n but_o when_o i_o search_v and_o try_v my_o heart_n i_o much_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o my_o desire_n be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o easy_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n sake_n then_o for_o his_o sake_n to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o it_o be_v but_o one_o act_n though_o it_o have_v more_o pain_n yet_o be_v but_o of_o small_a continuance_n it_o be_v less_o trouble_n than_o all_o my_o life_n long_o to_o fight_v against_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v ill_a even_o in_o my_o best_a wish_n in_o divers_a respect_n for_o i_o choose_v martyrdom_n not_o because_o thereby_o i_o may_v more_o honour_n god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v the_o soon_o and_o easy_o come_v to_o heaven_n and_o again_o that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v content_v myself_o though_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o hate_v corruption_n if_o i_o die_v a_o martyr_n all_o will_v be_v well_o whereas_o though_o i_o give_v my_o body_n to_o be_v burn_v and_o have_v not_o charity_n it_o will_v profit_v i_o nothing_o and_o to_o love_n god_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o that_o do_v not_o hate_v sin_n and_o fight_v against_o his_o corruption_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o weary_a be_v we_o of_o our_o spiritual_a fight_n and_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v some_o other_o way_n to_o heaven_n then_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o it_o o_o that_o i_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n and_o live_v to_o god_n how_o vain_a be_v the_o world_n yet_o while_o we_o know_v something_o better_a we_o shall_v not_o think_v so_o we_o talk_v much_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o who_o believe_v that_o the_o world_n be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n or_o who_o be_v sensible_a of_o this_o truth_n or_o if_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o sometime_o affect_v with_o it_o yet_o it_o soon_o vanish_v and_o we_o do_v not_o live_v according_o how_o much_o easy_a be_v it_o to_o speak_v like_o a_o angel_n then_o live_v like_o a_o saint_n meditat._n xxviii_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v do_v it_o for_o i_o take_v my_o soul_n and_o my_o body_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v with_o they_o any_o long_o i_o govern_v they_o so_o ill_o and_o indeed_o be_o so_o unable_a to_o govern_v they_o that_o they_o govern_v i_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v condemn_v i_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o do_v now_o justify_v thou_o and_o testify_v to_o all_o the_o world_n that_o thou_o be_v just_a though_o then_o if_o such_o a_o time_n shall_v come_v i_o shall_v blaspheme_v thou_o my_o dear_a god_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v not_o leave_v that_o small_a hold_n of_o thou_o for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o know_v lord_n there_o be_v no_o dally_v with_o thou_o what_o if_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n and_o write_v with_o the_o pen_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n it_o be_v nothing_o lord_n take_v a_o poor_a soul_n at_o his_o word_n lord_n i_o be_o thou_o and_o do_v now_o give_v myself_o and_o ten_o thousand_o world_n if_o i_o have_v they_o to_o thou_o yet_o when_o thou_o do_v take_v from_o i_o some_o poor_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n i_o murmur_v alas_o i_o have_v a_o poor_a weak_a heart_n meditat._v xxix_o lord_n my_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o small_a and_o that_o which_o be_v be_v but_o little_a spiritual_a or_o experimental_a to_o know_v thou_o by_o what_o other_o write_v and_o say_v of_o thou_o be_v sweet_a to_o they_o that_o can_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o it_o from_o their_o own_o experience_n lord_n what_o be_v it_o that_o have_v keep_v i_o so_o long_o from_o thou_o or_o keep_v thou_o so_o long_o from_o i_o i_o know_v i_o have_v be_v want_v to_o thou_o and_o to_o myself_o lord_n take_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v too_o much_o love_n for_o any_o beside_o thou_o though_o i_o have_v too_o little_a for_o thou_o oh_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o thou_o and_o will_v be_v sweet_a if_o i_o think_v often_o and_o long_o and_o more_o attentive_o of_o thou_o alas_o i_o be_o almost_o grow_v out_o of_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o perceive_v my_o corruption_n in_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o in_o this_o that_o though_o to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o easy_a and_o so_o profitable_a yet_o i_o think_v so_o seldom_o my_o dear_a god_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o business_n of_o the_o world_n suit_n of_o law_n and_o such_o thing_n they_o undo_v i_o they_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o can_v be_v rid_v of_o they_o i_o feel_v upon_o i_o the_o curse_n which_o thou_o threaten_v upon_o the_o people_n of_o israel_n if_o they_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o with_o joy_n they_o shall_v serve_v stranger_n with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hardship_n i_o be_v well_o while_o i_o be_v with_o thou_o than_o i_o have_v my_o song_n in_o the_o night_n now_o my_o day_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n lord_n draw_v i_o draw_v i_o make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o love_n strong_a or_o rather_o than_o
what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v oh_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozennesse_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o gulity_n of_o but_o special_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o foften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v then_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrasive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_n that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n we_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o our_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n vii_o since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o hard_a my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o a_o do_v to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o
this_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n of_o heart_n that_o be_v the_o just_a reason_n why_o i_o shed_v they_o and_o if_o thou_o shall_v once_o purify_v and_o inflame_v my_o heart_n by_o faith_n and_o love_n i_o shall_v shed_v more_o tear_n for_o my_o wander_a thought_n in_o prayer_n than_o now_o i_o do_v for_o all_o the_o abomination_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o alas_o lord_n the_o ordinary_a day_n of_o thy_o saint_n be_v far_o more_o holy_a than_o the_o day_n i_o set_v apart_o for_o special_a service_n of_o thou_o and_o their_o thought_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o their_o worldly_a business_n be_v more_o devout_a and_o zealous_a than_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o prayer_n be_v always_o with_o thou_o i_o scarce_o do_v any_o thing_n though_o almost_o of_o never_o so_o small_a moment_n but_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o do_v it_o this_o or_o that_o way_n be_v because_o it_o be_v some_o way_n or_o other_o more_o for_o thy_o glory_n lord_n it_o be_v not_o thy_o fault_n for_o thou_o do_v wait_v to_o show_v mercy_n whether_o my_o wretched_a heart_n will_v consent_v to_o it_o or_o no_o this_o i_o do_v set_v down_o as_o a_o infallible_a truth_n and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n give_v thou_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o all_z thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a and_o thou_o do_v stretch_v out_o thy_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o it_o be_v our_o fault_n that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v into_o thy_o bosom_n the_o infidelity_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o be_v in_o our_o bosom_n make_v we_o think_v that_o thou_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o receive_v we_o and_o so_o we_o not_o come_v we_o want_v that_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o that_o will_v if_o we_o have_v it_o make_v we_o not_o so_o timorous_a of_o comng_v to_o thou_o as_o we_o be_v meditat._n xxi_o before_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v i_o know_v i_o have_v more_o cause_n to_o write_v in_o blood_n or_o tear_n then_o in_o ink_n can_v a_o mother_n forget_v her_o child_n it_o be_v not_o can_v a_o child_n forget_v the_o mother_n nor_o be_v it_o can_v a_o mother_n her_o child_n if_o the_o child_n forget_v she_o or_o can_v there_o be_v any_o case_n wherein_o the_o mother_n can_v forget_v her_o child_n lord_n do_v thoo_n awaken_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v asleep_a lord_n do_v thou_o raise_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v dead_a do_v thou_o thaw_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v freeze_v lord_n thou_o be_v that_o celestial_a fire_n that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o i_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a staunch_a what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o say_v to_o my_o god_n lord_n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o she_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n and_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o methinks_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_v piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_n all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n must_v i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v no_o more_o sin_n and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_n behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o enough_o enough_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n that_o one_o look_n upon_o hell_n upon_o whatsoever_o one_o look_n but_o up-christ_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n
a_o method_n and_o instruction_n for_o the_o art_n of_o divine_a meditation_n with_o instance_n of_o the_o several_a kind_n of_o solemn_a meditation_n by_o thomas_n white_a minister_n of_o god_n word_n in_o london_n may_v 28._o 1655._o imprimatur_fw-la edm._n calamy_n london_n print_v by_o a._n m._n for_o joseph_n cranford_n at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o phoenix_n in_o st_n paul_n church_n yard_n near_o the_o little_a north._n do_v it_o 1655._o to_o the_o reverend_n and_o my_o much_o honour_a brethren_n &_o father_n the_o presbyterian_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n within_o the_o province_n of_o london_n brethren_n and_o father_n i_o have_v long_o since_o serious_o consider_v since_o the_o church_n have_v be_v so_o much_o divide_v among_o we_o with_o who_o to_o close_v and_o where_o to_o fix_v and_o i_o have_v endeavour_v to_o observe_v both_o the_o public_a and_o private_a action_n the_o tenant_n and_o conversation_n of_o those_o minister_n that_o be_v of_o divers_a judgement_n and_o 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opportunity_n to_o testify_v it_o therefore_o i_o think_v good_a have_v this_o small_a treatise_n to_o publish_v with_o it_o to_o publish_v how_o much_o i_o honour_v you_o though_o i_o be_o very_o sensible_a how_o little_a my_o judgement_n can_v add_v to_o the_o just_a esteem_n that_o the_o people_n of_o god_n have_v of_o you_o my_o desire_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n be_v and_o shall_v be_v that_o as_o to_o your_o enemy_n you_o may_v be_v as_o john_n baptist_n that_o though_o they_o love_v you_o not_o they_o may_v fear_v and_o reverence_v you_o be_v awe_v by_o the_o image_n of_o god_n that_o appear_v in_o the_o majesty_n and_o power_n of_o your_o preach_v and_o in_o the_o holiness_n of_o your_o life_n and_o conversation_n and_o that_o all_o the_o people_n of_o god_n may_v more_o and_o more_o high_o esteem_v you_o in_o love_n for_o your_o work_n sake_n and_o that_o the_o doctrine_n which_o you_o preach_v from_o the_o word_n of_o god_n may_v be_v deliver_v with_o such_o evidence_n and_o demonstration_n of_o the_o spirit_n that_o the_o mouth_n of_o gainsayers_a may_v be_v stop_v and_o that_o your_o life_n and_o conversation_n may_v more_o and_o more_o abound_v with_o such_o sincerity_n simplicity_n meekness_n gravity_n humility_n and_o christian_a prudence_n that_o the_o face_n of_o those_o may_v be_v cover_v with_o shame_n that_o speak_v evil_a of_o you_o these_o be_v the_o desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v your_o fellow-labourer_n in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n thomas_n white_a a_o method_n or_o instruction_n for_o the_o art_n of_o divine_a meditation_n chap._n i._n what_o meditation_n be_v first_o it_o differ_v from_o occasional_a meditation_n such_o as_o these_o if_o one_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v to_o think_v with_o one_o self_n how_o many_o thought_n have_v i_o have_v of_o god_n this_o hour_n 2._o i_o be_o one_o hour_n near_o my_o grave_n and_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v whether_o i_o may_v have_v another_o hour_n to_o live_v or_o no._n 1._o these_o be_v far_o short_a like_o ejaculatory_a prayer_n which_o though_o they_o be_v as_o parenthesise_n in_o our_o worldly_a employment_n yet_o they_o signify_v more_o than_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o business_n we_o be_v employ_v in_o but_o meditation_n be_v general_o of_o long_a duration_n then_o ordinary_a solemn_a prayer_n 2._o such_o occasional_a meditation_n be_v thing_n that_o we_o have_v in_o transitu_fw-la and_o this_o that_o i_o speak_v of_o be_v a_o solemn_a set_a duty_n 3._o the_o subject_a from_o which_o occasional_a meditation_n arise_v be_v very_o frequent_o thing_n artificial_a civil_a or_o natural_a indeed_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o see_v or_o hear_v but_o the_o subject_n of_o meditation_n be_v only_o spiritual_a second_o it_o differ_v from_o study_n 1._o in_o respect_n of_o the_o subject_a wicked_a man_n study_v and_o it_o may_v be_v more_o than_o godly_a man_n wicked_a man_n study_v and_o godly_a man_n meditate_v nay_o it_o be_v the_o very_a distinguish_a sign_n between_o saint_n and_o other_o psa_n 1.2_o and_o i_o believe_v it_o be_v a_o thing_n far_o more_o rare_a for_o a_o meditate_a christian_a to_o be_v a_o hypocrite_n then_o for_o a_o christian_n that_o spend_v much_o time_n in_o prayer_n especial_o if_o it_o be_v public_a 2._o as_o for_o the_o matter_n of_o prayer_n and_o study_n they_o be_v very_o different_a 1._o study_n be_v of_o all_o manner_n of_o thing_n whether_o natural_a civil_a mathematical_a etc._n etc._n but_o meditation_n be_v only_o of_o matter_n that_o concern_v our_o eternal_a welfare_n 2._o the_o matter_n that_o we_o most_o study_n be_v those_o truth_n that_o be_v most_o knotty_a and_o difficult_a and_o general_o such_o as_o afford_v little_a spiritual_a nourishment_n as_o criticism_n chronology_n controversy_n etc._n etc._n but_o the_o matter_n of_o meditation_n be_v plain_a and_o of_o great_a spiritual_a advantage_n 3._o the_o end_n of_o study_n be_v knowledge_n the_o end_n of_o meditation_n be_v holiness_n if_o one_o see_v a_o learned_a man_n one_o may_v conclude_v that_o that_o man_n have_v study_v much_o if_o one_o see_v a_o devout_a holy_a man_n one_o may_v conclude_v that_o that_o man_n have_v meditate_a much_o three_o it_o differ_v from_o contemplation_n 1._o contemplation_n be_v more_o like_o the_o beatifical_a vision_n which_o they_o have_v of_o god_n in_o heaven_n like_o the_o angel_n behold_v of_o the_o face_n of_o god_n meditation_n be_v like_o the_o kindle_v of_o fire_n and_o contemplation_n more_o like_o the_o flame_a of_o it_o when_o full_o kindle_v the_o one_o be_v like_o the_o spouse_n seek_v of_o christ_n and_o the_o other_o like_o the_o spouse_n enjoy_v of_o christ_n 2._o contemplation_n be_v one_o effect_n and_o end_n of_o meditation_n 3._o meditation_n be_v like_o the_o bee_n fly_v to_o several_a flower_n or_o one_o smell_v to_o flower_n particular_o or_o several_o and_o contemplation_n be_v like_o the_o smell_a of_o they_o all_o in_o a_o nosegay_n or_o like_o the_o water_n that_o be_v distil_v from_o they_o all_o the_o spouse_n in_o her_o description_n of_o christ_n be_v like_a to_o meditation_n her_o conclude_a that_o he_o be_v altogether_o lovely_a be_v like_a to_o contemplation_n therefore_o to_o conclude_v meditation_n be_v a_o serious_a solemn_a think_v and_o consider_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n to_o the_o end_n we_o may_v understand_v how_o much_o they_o concern_v we_o and_o that_o our_o heart_n thereby_o may_v be_v raise_v to_o some_o holy_a affection_n and_o resolution_n now_o there_o be_v four_o kind_n of_o solemn_a meditation_n according_a to_o the_o four_o several_a subject_n of_o it_o 1._o some_o solemn_a meditation_n be_v on_o sermon_n that_o we_o hear_v which_o be_v a_o very_a useful_a and_o necessary_a practice_n for_o christian_n and_o it_o be_v better_a to_o hear_v one_o sermon_n only_o and_o meditate_v on_o it_o then_o to_o hear_v two_o and_o meditate_v of_o neither_o but_o for_o set_v down_o a_o method_n for_o meditate_v on_o sermon_n be_v neither_o necessary_a nor_o possible_a since_o the_o method_n of_o sermon_n be_v various_a and_o they_o be_v to_o observe_v in_o their_o meditation_n the_o method_n of_o the_o sermon_n they_o meditate_v upon_o all_o that_o i_o shall_v say_v therefore_o in_o this_o particular_a be_v only_o this_o that_o the_o end_n of_o such_o meditation_n be_v neither_o only_a nor_o chief_o that_o we_o may_v the_o better_o fix_v the_o substance_n and_o head_n of_o the_o sermon_n in_o our_o memory_n nor_o that_o we_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o full_a be_v instruct_v of_o the_o truth_n of_o that_o point_n that_o be_v preach_v upon_o but_o especial_o to_o work_v those_o truth_n advice_n and_o motive_n etc._n etc._n upon_o our_o affection_n that_o be_v propose_v to_o we_o in_o the_o sermon_n 2._o the_o second_o kind_n of_o solemn_a meditation_n be_v when_o upon_o some_o providentiall_a occasion_n or_o upon_o
carnal_a tear_n and_o one_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o grief_n and_o part_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v that_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o sometime_o indeed_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n lord_n give_v i_o faith_n o_o give_v i_o faith_n i_o feel_v a_o deal_n of_o atheism_n in_o my_o heart_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a of_o corruption_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o all_o degree_n that_o i_o can_v feel_v no_o bottom_n of_o this_o stink_a ditch_n my_o imagination_n be_v divers_a time_n a_o thoroughfare_a for_o satan_n blasphemous_a thought_n which_o my_o soul_n abhor_v i_o may_v even_o sit_v down_o and_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n in_o weep_v and_o wail_v and_o wring_v of_o my_o hand_n and_o tear_v off_o the_o hair_n of_o my_o head_n my_o sad_a soul_n may_v say_v to_o my_o god_n be_v thou_o quite_o go_v from_o i_o have_v all_o my_o hope_n of_o thou_o be_v as_o dream_n and_o empty_a shadow_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v thou_o show_v i_o so_o much_o of_o heaven_n and_o will_v thou_o make_v hell_n more_o terrible_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o shall_v thy_o sweet_a mercy_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n to_o i_o not_o only_o to_o be_v bitter_a but_o deadly_a i_o have_v cause_n i_o have_v cause_n lord_n to_o mingle_v my_o drink_n with_o my_o tear_n to_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o weep_v thou_o be_v too_o great_a a_o god_n to_o be_v dally_v withal_o and_o what_o do_v i_o else_o as_o our_o dear_a friend_n though_o we_o never_o so_o much_o delight_v in_o their_o company_n while_o they_o be_v live_v yet_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v alone_o with_o they_o they_o be_v a_o terronr_n to_o we_o after_o the_o soul_n have_v leave_v their_o earthly_a tabernacle_n so_o my_o prayer_n while_o they_o be_v live_v prayer_n be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o now_o my_o prayer_n be_v without_o life_n and_o my_o supplication_n be_v dead_a they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o i_o they_o look_v ghastly_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o upon_o they_o meditat._v xii_o my_o dear_a god_n thovart_n not_o move_v with_o word_n if_o we_o have_v the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n if_o we_o can_v speak_v as_o never_o man_n speak_v if_o our_o heart_n mean_v no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v what_o will_v our_o vain_a word_n do_v i_o be_o ever_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o my_o corruption_n follow_v i_o and_o tire_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o patience_n o_o that_o i_o can_v weep_v over_o my_o soul_n and_o weep_v over_o my_o prayer_n to_o see_v how_o dead_a they_o be_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o know_v not_o i_o have_v pray_v a_o thousand_o time_n for_o another_o heart_n and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o a_o stone_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n that_o there_o be_v a_o world_n of_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o confession_n of_o hypocrisy_n lord_n shall_v i_o cast_v away_o my_o confidence_n and_o lay_v down_o my_o weapon_n and_o put_v off_o my_o armour_n because_o my_o corruption_n be_v so_o strong_a and_o impetuous_a and_o deaden_a my_o very_a soul_n but_o alas_o what_o be_o i_o weary_a of_o not_o of_o my_o sin_n but_o of_o the_o accusation_n of_o my_o conscience_n that_o will_v not_o let_v i_o alone_o bless_v be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o live_v holy_o and_o yet_o i_o will_v strive_v to_o live_v holy_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v ertangle_v in_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o world_n bless_a saviour_n thou_o which_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o care_n and_o love_n of_o the_o world_n alas_o what_o good_a do_v my_o tear_n do_v i_o do_v thou_o bottle_n up_o such_o tear_n such_o puddle_n water_n in_o thy_o bottle_n let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o the_o towards_o my_o poor_a soul_n it_o be_v full_a of_o sin_n but_o my_o sin_n be_v my_o sorrow_n though_o my_o sorrow_n itself_o be_v sinful_a if_o thou_o stand_v as_o a_o stranger_n to_o i_o i_o must_v give_v over_o myself_o for_o lose_v than_o i_o may_v say_v farewell_n prayer_n better_a to_o say_v farewell_n then_o to_o add_v to_o my_o former_a sin_n a_o great_a guilt_n by_o defile_v my_o prayer_n that_o be_v as_o the_o chariot_n to_o carry_v out_o my_o soul_n into_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n what_o be_o i_o to_o stand_v against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n i_o be_o no_o more_o able_a to_o overcome_v nay_o to_o resist_v they_o then_o to_o remove_v mountain_n i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o comfort_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o joy_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o hope_n and_o even_o my_o god_n if_o thy_o mercy_n be_v not_o great_a and_o what_o remain_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n to_o do_v but_o to_o sit_v down_o in_o sorrow_n and_o even_o to_o mourn_v until_o my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a unto_o death_n it_o have_v be_v better_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v one_o to_o show_v the_o way_n to_o other_o nay_o but_o oh_o my_o god_n that_o be_v best_a for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thy_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a god_n from_o who_o sweet_a presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o man_n and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o myheart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v not_o moee_v o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v and_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o to_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o whilst_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._o i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o prone_a to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lie_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o
nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o too_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n in_o stead_n of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o my_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_o my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o can_v say_v there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v rather_o weep_v and_o mourn_v for_o my_o offend_v thou_o then_o enjoy_v all_o delight_n in_o the_o world_n those_o salt_n water_n be_v more_o precious_a than_o their_o wine_n meditat._n xvii_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o order_v all_o my_o affair_n by_o thy_o wisdom_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v needful_a for_o i_o i_o mnrmure_v oftentimes_o when_o thou_o afflict_a i_o although_o i_o have_v again_o and_o again_o desire_v thou_o to_o direct_v all_o thing_n that_o belong_v unto_o i_o but_o bless_a god_n let_v not_o my_o murmur_n so_o provoke_v thou_o as_o to_o leave_v i_o to_o my_o own_o self_n give_v i_o not_o what_o i_o desire_v but_o what_o i_o want_v my_o judgement_n in_o judge_v what_o be_v good_a or_o bad_a for_o i_o be_v little_a worth_n for_o many_o time_n i_o have_v judge_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o be_v for_o my_o hurt_n yet_o it_o have_v prove_v much_o for_o my_o good_a and_o so_o on_o the_o contrary_a but_o then_o i_o have_v by_o experience_n find_v it_o evident_o for_o my_o good_a when_o i_o have_v yield_v myself_o whole_o to_o be_v guide_v by_o thou_o all_o thing_n lord_n make_v i_o know_v myself_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o heart_n meditat._n xviii_o lord_n it_o fare_v with_o i_o as_o it_o sare_z with_o one_o that_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n from_o his_o friend_n he_o have_v many_o thing_n to_o tell_v he_o of_o several_a particular_n that_o befall_v he_o since_o their_o last_o be_v together_o so_o lord_n i_o have_v be_v a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v much_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o much_o have_v i_o suffer_v from_o my_o own_o corruption_n and_o little_o have_v i_o do_v i_o have_v a_o heart_n will_v let_v i_o do_v nothing_o for_o thou_o lord_n i_o be_o but_o a_o child_n pardon_v my_o babble_n i_o have_v none_o to_o make_v my_o complaint_n to_o no_o not_o one_o thou_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o if_o thou_o lord_n will_v supply_v the_o want_n of_o those_o christian_a friend_n i_o be_o now_o deprive_v of_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o deceitful_a that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o ever_o be_v or_o be_o yet_o thou_o i_o know_v lord_n how_o i_o have_v spend_v day_n sometime_o whole_a week_n together_o in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n and_o read_v devotionary_a book_n to_o prepare_v myself_o for_o the_o communion_n and_o yet_o then_o i_o have_v gross_a fail_n for_o there_o be_v a_o world_n of_o covetousness_n in_o i_o and_o thirst_v after_o humane_a learning_n exceed_o and_o little_a prize_v the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n in_o my_o sermon_n i_o do_v little_a aim_n at_o thy_o glory_n but_o to_o preach_v myself_o now_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o find_v some_o healing_n but_o my_o duty_n be_v few_o and_o now_o there_o be_v far_o more_o want_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v than_o be_v then_o of_o what_o i_o be_o now_o nay_o lord_n thou_o only_o know_v i_o shall_v be_v a_o gainer_n but_o alas_o if_o i_o now_o i_o be_o alone_o shall_v have_v no_o more_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n then_o i_o have_v when_o i_o live_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o glow_a coal_n of_o devotion_n how_o can_v i_o but_o go_v out_o now_o since_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o burn_v then_o when_o i_o think_v of_o serve_v thou_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o perverse_a as_o to_o put_v in_o a_o carnal_a motive_n and_o say_v if_o thou_o do_v so_o then_o god_n will_v bless_v thou_o in_o such_o or_o such_o a_o temporal_a blessing_n and_o my_o heart_n close_v with_o that_o motive_n meditat._v xix_o o_o my_o god_n as_o thou_o be_v my_o father_n so_o let_v i_o know_v that_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v know_v by_o i_o may_v put_v wheel_n to_o my_o obedience_n that_o now_o go_v so_o heavy_o and_o that_o it_o may_v make_v my_o obedience_n more_o pure_a that_o now_o be_v so_o full_a of_o insufficiency_n i_o be_o fain_a to_o be_v glad_a almost_o of_o any_o motive_n to_o make_v i_o serve_v thou_o but_o yet_o it_o be_v my_o burden_n that_o fear_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v that_o which_o love_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v for_o beside_o that_o such_o obedience_n be_v painful_a that_o which_o be_v worse_o it_o be_v impure_a also_o alas_o i_o be_o a_o stranger_n too_o much_o unto_o thou_o and_o in_o be_v so_o a_o enemy_n to_o myself_o lord_n this_o be_v the_o first_o day_n i_o have_v give_v thou_o this_o long_a while_n it_o do_v appear_v that_o it_o be_v so_o by_o the_o poor_a and_o weak_a duty_n i_o perform_v my_o poor_a soul_n be_v like_o a_o poor_a desolate_a widow_n that_o have_v lose_v her_o dear_a husband_n every_o one_o trample_v on_o she_o and_o oppress_v she_o meditat._n xx._n lord_n where_o be_v those_o sweet_a embrace_n and_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n that_o thou_o have_v bestow_v on_o i_o in_o former_a time_n when_o i_o have_v go_v unto_o the_o treasury_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o fetch_v any_o mercy_n from_o thence_o that_o i_o want_v thou_o have_v give_v unto_o my_o prayer_n my_o dear_a brother_n who_o go_v forth_o a_o blasphemer_n or_o at_o least_o a_o common_a swearer_n and_o come_v home_o i_o seek_v thou_o for_o he_o a_o convert_n after_o thou_o give_v i_o his_o life_n and_o the_o life_n of_o my_o mother_n and_o indeed_o lord_n what_o be_v it_o but_o i_o have_v of_o thou_o thou_o do_v almost_o miraculous_o restore_v one_o of_o my_o sister_n to_o comfort_v but_o now_o when_o i_o cry_v and_o shout_n thou_o shutte_v out_o my_o prayer_n and_o be_v almost_o as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o any_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o lord_n i_o know_v that_o the_o fault_n be_v i_o own_o indeed_o lord_n i_o then_o be_v scarce_o ever_o from_o thou_o or_o out_o of_o thy_o thought_n for_o be_v i_o but_o as_o i_o have_v be_v so_o often_o keep_v day_n of_o humble_v before_o thou_o it_o can_v not_o be_v that_o my_o duty_n shall_v be_v such_o as_o they_o be_v but_o lord_n thou_o see_v the_o tear_n these_o thought_n cause_v i_o to_o shed_v they_o be_v thou_o do_v thou_o increase_v they_o but_o take_v away_o
out_o on_o other_o i_o be_o not_o move_v nay_o those_o very_a story_n and_o say_n which_o have_v former_o inflame_v i_o now_o be_v as_o spark_n fall_v into_o the_o sea_n warm_v not_o at_o all_o alas_o when_o i_o shall_v meet_v thou_o at_o the_o last_o day_n thy_o mercy_n they_o shall_v testify_v against_o i_o when_o they_o shall_v witness_v my_o slieghting_n of_o they_o my_o fruitlessness_n under_o they_o and_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o what_o can_v i_o say_v alas_o my_o poor_a soul_n we_o be_v undo_v but_o that_o day_n be_v not_o come_v yet_o one_o hour_n more_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v will_v give_v i_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v into_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o i_o be_o afraid_a to_o meet_v thou_o at_o the_o tribunal_n of_o thy_o judgement_n if_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o earth_n methinks_v i_o can_v go_v with_o confidence_n to_o thou_o that_o thou_o will_v hear_v i_o but_o now_o thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n i_o can_v bless_v be_v they_o who_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o believe_v lord_n i_o have_v receive_v double_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n in_o respect_n of_o any_o profit_n or_o pleasure_n i_o have_v have_v by_o they_o i_o have_v have_v full_a measure_n press_v down_o and_o run_v over_o but_o alas_o my_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n be_v more_o gall_n than_o all_o the_o pleasure_n that_o i_o have_v have_v that_o have_v be_v worldly_a the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n can_v be_v recompense_v with_o all_o that_o the_o world_n have_v thy_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n indeed_o in_o respect_n of_o the_o offence_n to_o thou_o every_o prayer_n deserve_v hell_n meditat._n xlv_o lord_n i_o be_o as_o afraid_a of_o comfort_n as_o of_o terror_n for_o when_o i_o have_v comfort_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o pride_n myself_o in_o they_o and_o in_o stead_n of_o have_v sweet_a thought_n of_o thou_o have_v high_a thought_n of_o myself_o affliction_n breed_v sorrow_n and_o comfort_n pride_n sorrow_n be_v better_a than_o pride_n my_o preach_n be_v my_o temptation_n and_o my_o accuser_n if_o i_o preach_v not_o the_o strict_a way_n of_o god_n my_o negligence_n condemn_v i_o and_o if_o i_o do_v my_o sermon_n condemn_v i_o for_o my_o life_n be_v hell_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o publish_v something_o i_o have_v by_o the_o help_n of_o thy_o spirit_n write_v lest_o my_o life_n shall_v do_v more_o harm_n by_o scandal_n than_o the_o writing_n shall_v do_v good_a by_o direct_v to_o holiness_n and_o yet_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o if_o i_o publish_v and_o own_v such_o writing_n they_o will_v be_v a_o strong_a engagement_n to_o live_v more_o holy_o but_o i_o have_v something_o against_o that_o also_o for_o that_o motive_n will_v in_o short_a time_n lose_v its_o strength_n such_o waxen_a wing_n will_v melt_v and_o let_v i_o fall_v to_o my_o former_a way_n and_o that_o holiness_n which_o be_v bear_v up_o with_o such_o carnal_a motive_n be_v a_o poor_a thing_n lord_n how_o be_o i_o distract_v and_o tear_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o thought_n nay_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o go_v with_o these_o burden_n on_o my_o soul_n do_v whatever_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o i_o may_v but_o drudge_n in_o thy_o house_n though_o i_o lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o to_o be_v a_o scullion_n in_o thy_o house_n be_v better_a than_o to_o sit_v at_o the_o table_n of_o prince_n lord_n i_o be_o undo_v except_o thou_o work_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n yet_o if_o i_o be_o undo_v it_o may_v before_o thou_o give_v i_o over_o and_o discover_v i_o to_o the_o world_n thou_o will_v let_v i_o do_v something_o more_o that_o may_v glorify_v thou_o and_o edify_v the_o people_n nay_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v suffer_v i_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v to_o do_v much_o of_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v glory_n lord_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o upright_o yet_o o_o that_o my_o action_n and_o my_o preach_n may_v be_v such_o that_o man_n see_v and_o hear_v they_o may_v be_v stir_v up_o to_o glorify_v thou_o by_o do_v those_o thing_n sincere_o which_o ay_o it_o may_v be_v do_v out_o of_o hypocrisy_n i_o be_o sure_a too_o much_o hypocrisy_n lord_n i_o have_v beg_v for_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o may_v not_o deceive_v i_o nor_o dishonour_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v nay_o lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v i_o be_o undo_v unless_o thou_o do_v work_v mighty_o above_o all_o i_o can_v speak_v or_o think_v according_a to_o that_o mighty_a power_n wherewith_o thou_o do_v raise_v the_o lord_n from_o the_o dead_a o_o that_o i_o may_v be_v so_o raise_v that_o i_o may_v return_v no_o more_o to_o corruption_n meditat._n xlvi_o by_o this_o i_o know_v and_o be_o sensible_a it_o be_v not_o for_o any_o man_n to_o live_v by_o his_o own_o strength_n by_o my_o know_v how_o impossible_a it_o be_v for_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o recover_v without_o thou_o if_o a_o live_a man_n can_v speak_v how_o can_v a_o condemn_a man_n live_v without_o thou_o if_o live_v bone_n can_v move_v how_o can_v dry_a bone_n live_v lord_n thou_o meet_v i_o not_o at_o duty_n thou_o speak_v not_o to_o i_o there_o thou_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o mercy_n and_o i_o answer_v not_o in_o judgement_n and_o i_o carry_v myself_o as_o a_o sleepy_a man_n that_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v awake_v what_o will_v thou_o do_v with_o i_o lord_n when_o i_o will_v neither_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o answer_v thou_o when_o thou_o speak_v o_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o grace_n and_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o mercy_n those_o sin_n i_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o commit_v thou_o have_v take_v from_o i_o the_o opportunity_n to_o commit_v it_o be_v a_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o opportunity_n but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a comfort_n not_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n a_o instance_n according_a to_o the_o rule_v give_v for_o meditate_v on_o the_o scripture_n a_o meditation_n on_o these_o word_n isa._n 66.2_o but_o to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v even_o to_o he_o that_o be_v poor_a and_o of_o a_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n 1._o let_v we_o serious_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o if_o a_o angel_n or_o god_n himself_o from_o heaven_n have_v speak_v these_o word_n in_o our_o hear_n as_o once_o christ_n do_v to_o paul_n when_o he_o be_v go_v to_o damascus_n sure_o i_o think_v they_o will_v have_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n less_o his_o word_n because_o it_o be_v write_v i_o read_v that_o the_o apostle_n 2_o pet._n 1.17_o 18_o 19_o speak_v of_o a_o voice_n that_o he_o himself_o hear_v from_o heaven_n say_v that_o he_o have_v a_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v no_o less_o sure_a that_o the_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n be_v the_o very_a word_n of_o god_n than_o those_o that_o he_o hear_v with_o his_o ear_n then_o let_v we_o not_o be_v less_o affect_v with_o these_o word_n then_o if_o we_o ourselves_o have_v hear_v god_n himself_o speak_v they_o 2._o nor_o let_v we_o think_v that_o they_o less_o concern_v we_o then_o if_o we_o have_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o tell_v we_o what_o he_o will_v have_v we_o to_o be_v and_o do_v and_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n we_o have_v hear_v he_o speak_v to_o we_o from_o heaven_n in_o particular_a to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n for_o doubtless_o god_n have_v not_o cause_v his_o word_n to_o be_v write_v in_o vain_a at_o a_o venture_n for_o whosoever_o shall_v read_v it_o but_o know_v not_o who_o they_o be_v shall_v read_v it_o but_o he_o know_v every_o particular_a person_n to_o who_o hand_n his_o word_n shall_v come_v and_o know_v his_o word_n shall_v come_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o i_o shall_v read_v these_o very_a word_n and_o therefore_o cause_v they_o to_o be_v write_v in_o particular_a for_o my_o sake_n though_o not_o exclusive_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o his_o people_n yet_o paul_n say_v that_o he_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n do_v think_v particular_o of_o paul_n and_o so_o of_o every_o one_o else_o for_o who_o he_o die_v and_o give_v himself_o up_o as_o a_o sacrifice_n and_o ransom_n particular_o think_v on_o and_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o his_o death_n if_o a_o minister_n shall_v go_v to_o one_o that_o be_v give_v to_o swear_v and_o tell_v he_o of_o the_o heinousness_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o lay_v it_o home_o to_o his_o conscience_n in_o private_a it_o general_o do_v affect_v he_o
be_v well_o now_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o be_v young_a and_o strong_a now_o be_v nothing_o for_o how_o many_o be_v there_o that_o have_v be_v strong_a and_o well_o and_o as_o young_a as_o thou_o within_o a_o very_a few_o day_n after_o have_v be_v in_o their_o grave_n that_o thou_o must_v die_v be_v certain_a when_o where_o how_o none_o know_v but_o he_o that_o make_v thou_o only_o this_o be_v true_a that_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v 2._o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o end_n of_o the_o world_n as_o to_o thou_o thou_o must_v leave_v riches_n friend_n wife_n child_n house_n land_n and_o thy_o own_o body_n also_o thy_o friend_n may_v stand_v weep_v by_o but_o they_o can_v prolong_v thy_o life_n one_o minute_n 3._o consider_v that_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o die_v it_o will_v certain_o not_o repent_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n in_o prayer_n so_o much_o in_o meditation_n so_o much_o in_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v never_o know_v since_o the_o world_n begin_v that_o any_o one_o do_v then_o say_v o_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v less_o though_o these_o holy_a duty_n now_o seem_v irksome_a and_o troublesome_a to_o thou_o doubtless_o than_o they_o shall_v bring_v more_o comfort_n to_o thou_o than_o all_o those_o riches_n and_o vanity_n in_o which_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n and_o take_v so_o much_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n be_v certain_a and_o infallible_a our_o understanding_n can_v o_o that_o our_o life_n do_v not_o deny_v they_o consider_v how_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n will_v hasten_v thy_o filthy_a carcase_n out_o of_o the_o door_n they_o will_v scarce_o dare_v to_o stay_v with_o it_o alone_o but_o say_v as_o abraham_n do_v let_v i_o bury_v my_o dead_a out_o of_o my_o sight_n and_o then_o how_o seldom_o will_v they_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o thou_o or_o if_o they_o do_v what_o good_a will_v it_o do_v thou_o 5._o consider_v alas_o poor_a man_n whether_o will_v thy_o soul_n go_v then_o to_o hell_n or_o to_o heaven_n do_v thou_o know_v to_o which_o do_v thou_o not_o think_v thou_o shall_v go_v that_o way_n which_o thou_o have_v go_v all_o thy_o life_n long_o if_o thou_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o hell_n how_o can_v thou_o imagine_v that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o journey_n thou_o shall_v arrive_v at_o heaven_n 6._o consider_v what_o good_a will_v all_o thy_o wealth_n all_o thy_o pleasure_n all_o thy_o vanity_n do_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n they_o will_v all_o vanish_v as_o do_v the_o morning_n dew_n alas_o who_o know_v not_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o yet_o not_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o consider_v and_o lay_v they_o to_o heart_n and_o to_o know_v these_o truth_n and_o live_v unsuitable_o to_o they_o do_v but_o add_v to_o our_o folly_n and_o madness_n o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a say_v god_n that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n these_o serious_a consideration_n of_o our_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o chief_a point_n of_o wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n 7._o consider_v if_o thou_o miscarry_v in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o concernment_n viz._n thy_o death_n thou_o be_v undo_v for_o ever_o if_o thou_o may_v live_v again_o and_o mend_v that_o error_n which_o thou_o commit_v in_o thy_o die_a ill_a than_o there_o be_v some_o hope_n but_o it_o be_v appoint_v for_o all_o man_n once_o to_o die_v and_o but_o once_o affection_n 1._o abhor_v sin_n it_o be_v you_o and_o you_o only_o that_o can_v make_v that_o hour_n miserable_a unto_o i_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n though_o we_o now_o have_v slight_a thought_n of_o such_o and_o such_o sin_n through_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o satan_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n yet_o at_o that_o hour_n if_o we_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n we_o will_v give_v they_o all_o for_o that_o which_o we_o have_v so_o little_o regard_v while_o we_o live_v viz._n that_o we_o have_v keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n and_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n 2._o despise_v the_o world_n o_o you_o vanity_n and_o foolery_n of_o the_o world_n why_o shall_v i_o spend_v my_o time_n and_o strength_n in_o follow_v after_o you_o what_o have_v you_o do_v for_o i_o or_o what_o can_v you_o do_v when_o i_o shall_v stand_v most_o in_o need_n of_o comfort_n you_o will_v not_o only_o prove_v vanity_n but_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n solomon_n have_v try_v you_o and_o he_o have_v from_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o you_o be_v but_o vanity_n and_o all_o man_n when_o they_o come_v to_o die_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o this_o truth_n shall_v i_o to_o my_o own_o destruction_n yield_v to_o your_o enticement_n why_o shall_v i_o not_o have_v the_o same_o opinion_n of_o you_o now_o as_o i_o certain_o shall_v have_v when_o i_o come_v to_o die_v 3._o humble_a thyself_o before_o god_n and_o cast_v thyself_o into_o his_o arm_n of_o love_n beg_v wisdom_n of_o he_o every_o night_n i_o be_o a_o day_n near_o my_o grave_n then_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_o near_a to_o it_o but_o lord_n make_v i_o fit_a for_o my_o grave_n and_o when_o that_o hour_n shall_v come_v let_v it_o not_o come_v as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n to_o rob_v i_o of_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o rather_o than_o that_o hour_n shall_v not_o be_v a_o happy_a hour_n let_v my_o whole_a life_n be_v nothing_o but_o affliction_n and_o misery_n alas_o lord_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o this_o petition_v what_o will_v thou_o give_v i_o thou_o have_v say_v o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n and_o i_o say_v lord_n teach_v i_o so_o to_o number_v my_o day_n that_o i_o may_v apply_v my_o heart_n to_o wisdom_n resolution_n o_o my_o soul_n since_o thing_n be_v thus_o let_v we_o not_o resist_v know_v truth_n shall_v we_o neglect_v these_o truth_n because_o they_o be_v plain_a if_o they_o be_v abstruse_a than_o we_o doubt_v they_o if_o they_o be_v plain_a shall_v we_o despise_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v how_o soon_o thou_o shall_v die_v then_o what_o have_v we_o to_o do_v that_o must_v be_v do_v before_o we_o die_v do_v it_o with_o all_o thy_o might_n for_o the_o night_n come_v wherein_n no_o man_n work_v my_o child_n be_v not_o yet_o sufficient_o instruct_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n i_o will_v set_v apart_o half_a a_o hour_n in_o a_o day_n to_o instruct_v they_o for_o this_o month_n or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a every_o time_n i_o miss_v there_o be_v such_o a_o neighbour_n or_o acquaintance_n who_o go_v on_o in_o wicked_a way_n and_o my_o word_n have_v so_o much_o power_n with_o he_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o bless_v i_o in_o the_o work_n and_o take_v he_o private_o and_o lay_v before_o he_o his_o danger_n and_o press_v he_o to_o holiness_n he_o may_v be_v wrought_v upon_o i_o have_v omit_v it_o hitherto_o but_o i_o be_o resolve_v sometime_o within_o a_o week_n to_o take_v some_o opportunity_n to_o speak_v serious_o and_o home_o unto_o he_o or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o so_o every_o week_n give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a until_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o he_o etc._n etc._n and_o since_o it_o so_o much_o concern_v i_o to_o be_v prepare_v for_o death_n i_o will_v every_o day_n make_v it_o one_o special_a clause_n of_o my_o prayer_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v fit_v i_o for_o that_o hour_n and_o i_o will_v lay_v up_o treasury_n in_o heaven_n by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a and_o make_v myself_o friend_n of_o this_o unrighteous_a mammon_n that_o when_o i_o fail_v they_o may_v receive_v i_o into_o their_o habitation_n conclusion_n 1._o pray_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v in_o thou_o strong_a spiritual_a apprehension_n of_o death_n and_o that_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n may_v embitter_v every_o unlawful_a pleasure_n to_o thou_o say_v unto_o god_n lord_n how_o few_o day_n be_v between_o i_o and_o eternity_n whether_o of_o horror_n or_o of_o glory_n i_o be_o not_o yet_o full_o satisfy_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n that_o a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a concernment_n i_o shall_v be_v uncertain_a of_o o_o bless_a god_n let_v this_o meditation_n so_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o cease_v to_o pray_v unto_o thou_o and_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o use_v all_o holy_a mean_n for_o the_o make_n of_o my_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a for_o very_o short_o i_o shall_v be_v pass_v pray_v past_o examine_v for_o when_o thou_o shall_v summon_v i_o out_o of_o this_o life_n than_o
thought_n of_o they_o have_v thou_o such_o a_o full_a assurance_n or_o be_v thy_o life_n such_o that_o thou_o need_v not_o fear_v be_v not_o moses_n and_o john_n as_o holy_a as_o thou_o be_v not_o john_n the_o belove_a disciple_n and_o moses_n one_o with_o who_o god_n speak_v face_n to_o face_n and_o yet_o they_o tremble_v o_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v much_o to_o be_v fear_v that_o it_o be_v ignorance_n and_o infidelity_n not_o a_o gospel-assurance_n that_o make_v thou_o so_o senseless_a nay_o it_o be_v infallible_o certain_a that_o whosoever_o live_v wicked_o and_o tremble_v not_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o judgement_n it_o proceed_v from_o a_o conscience_n sear_v with_o a_o hot_a iron_n 2._o admire_v and_o be_v astonish_v at_o the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o all_o those_o that_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n such_o be_v all_o they_o that_o repent_v not_o and_o believe_v not_o the_o gospel_n 3._o examine_v and_o try_v thyself_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o that_o we_o be_v not_o judge_v we_o may_v easy_o know_v what_o question_n shall_v be_v put_v to_o we_o that_o day_n we_o must_v be_v judge_v by_o the_o word_n of_o god_n then_o let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o by_o it_o now_o do_v we_o indeed_o strive_v to_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o straight_a gate_n may_v that_o which_o we_o do_v in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n be_v true_o call_v strive_v or_o not_o can_v a_o saint_n prayer_n be_v call_v strive_v or_o not_o when_o every_o temptation_n at_o the_o first_o assault_n overcome_v thou_o and_o thou_o fight_v not_o a_o stroke_n be_v this_o strive_n be_v this_o to_o fight_v a_o good_a fight_n and_o resist_n unto_o blood_n do_v we_o think_v that_o god_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n will_v avouch_v this_o strive_n nay_o can_v our_o own_o conscience_n think_v it_o so_o now_o be_v not_o deceive_v god_n be_v not_o mock_v 4._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o be_v the_o great_a and_o just_a judge_n of_o all_o man_n be_v please_v to_o fit_v and_o prepare_v i_o for_o that_o that_o that_o day_n may_v not_o come_v so_o as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n as_o to_o rob_v i_o of_o all_o my_o comfort_n deal_v with_o i_o how_o it_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n afflict_v i_o chastise_v i_o only_o let_v i_o be_v save_v in_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n 5._o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o true_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v to_o do_v and_o how_o we_o be_v to_o live_v that_o when_o other_o at_o that_o day_n shall_v call_v to_o the_o hill_n and_o to_o the_o mountain_n to_o fall_v upon_o they_o and_o to_o hide_v they_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lamb_n we_o may_v lift_v up_o our_o head_n because_o our_o salvation_n draw_v near_o well_o o_o my_o soul_n i_o read_v in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n that_o the_o neglect_v to_o judge_v ourselves_o and_o the_o judge_n of_o other_o be_v two_o sin_n that_o will_v cause_v all_o those_o to_o be_v judge_v and_o condemn_v that_o live_v in_o they_o therefore_o i_o be_o resolve_v by_o the_o 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affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o greatness_n of_o these_o torment_n certain_o if_o god_n so_o heavy_o afflict_v his_o own_o people_n as_o he_o do_v job_n heman_n and_o divers_a of_o his_o people_n who_o have_v be_v in_o dissertion_n many_o year_n how_o sad_a be_v the_o expression_n of_o david_n he_o say_v he_o roar_v for_o the_o disquietness_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o how_o many_o sad_a expression_n have_v job_n that_o he_o have_v not_o time_n to_o swallow_v his_o spittle_n and_o how_o that_o he_o choose_v rather_o a_o strangle_a then_o life_n and_o many_o other_o exceed_v sad_a expression_n which_o can_v never_o have_v proceed_v from_o a_o holy_a man_n who_o be_v set_v before_o we_o as_o a_o pattern_n of_o patience_n if_o his_o affliction_n have_v not_o be_v very_o great_a and_o heman_n say_v that_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v so_o great_a that_o he_o be_v almost_o distract_v with_o they_o and_o so_o from_o 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