Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
other Blessed be my gracious God for his great Kindness to me in them both After Three Years continuance in that Family upon the Death of Dr. Read my Lord presented my Dear to Fyfield in Essex a competent good Living and Subsistence blessed be God for it Good Lord crown his Ministry there with the Success of the Conversion and Bringing in their Souls to the Obedience and Knowledge of Jesus Christ Give him abundance of the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and store his Heart with the Treasuries of thy heavenly Truths and continue my Dear Husband a faithfull painfull able Labourer in thy Vineyard If what I have thus far touch'd may savour of any Vanity the modesty of what I have past over may excuse the Errour at least to them who may see the Original Manuscript Now to return to her of whom I write she proceeds I was Born at London in Bucklersbury on Thursday the 12th of July in the Year of our Lord 1623 and Baptized the 20th Day of the same Month. The Lord vouchsafing me a reception into the visible Church of Jesus Christ when he most justly might have suffered no Eye to pity me but have cast me out to the loathing of my Person in my original Defilement and Stains of my sinfull Nature But to my first admittance good Lord enable me to ascend that being a Member of thy Church militant here on Earth I may attain to be one of thy Church triumphant in Heaven My Dear Father was Mr. John Sadler a very Eminent Citizen and of a most generous loving and charitable Disposition and a most tender Father to me and a kind Father-in-Law to my Husband He was born at Stratford upon Avon in Warwickshire where his Ancestors lived My Grandfather had a good Estate in and about the Town He was of a free and noble Spirit which somewhat out-reach'd his Estate but not given to any Debauchery I ever heard of My Father's Mother was a very wise pious and a good Woman and lived and died a good Christian My Father had no Brother but three Sisters who were all eminently Wise and good Women especially his youngest Sister who married my Father's Partner in Trade a religious good Man In process of time my Father was desired to change his single estate accordingly a Match was provided for him but he by God's Providence approved not of it His Father then provided him good Clothes good Horse and Money in his Purse and sent him to make his Addresses to a Gentlewoman in that Country But he considering well how difficult a married Condition was like to prove his Father having reduced his Estate from about 400 l. a Year to 80. His own Prudence but especially God's good Providence over-ruling his mind instead of going a Wooing he join'd himself to the Carrier and came to London where he had never been before and sold his Horse in Smithfield and having no Acquaintance in London to recommend him or assist him he went from Street to Street and House to House asking if they wanted an Apprentice and though he met with many discouraging Scorns and a thousand denials he went on till he light on Mr. Brokes bank a Grocer in Bucklersbury who though he long denied him for want of Sureties for his Fidelity and because the Money he had but Ten Pounds was so disproportionable to what he used to receive with Apprentices yet upon his discreet account he gave of himself and the Motives which put him upon that Course and promise to compensate with diligent and faithfull Service what ever else was short of his Expectation he ventured to receive him upon Trial in which he so well approved himself that he accepted him into his Service to which he bound him for Eight Years to which he willingly submitted though he was then full Twenty-one Years old and there he served a faithfull and laborious Apprenticeship but much liked of his Master and Mistress And after served him Five Years Journey-man they not being willing to part with him In which time he had his Master's leave to Trade for himself in Drugs and Tabacco by which he left Grocery and was by Trade a Druggist in London And by that Profession God bless'd my dear Father with a very plentifull and good Estate with which God gave him a bountifull Mind and liberal Heart to doe much good to his Relations and others My Dear Mother Mrs. Elizabeth Sadler was the Daughter of Mr. Dackum sometimes Minister of Portsmouth Also my Grandmother Dackum was a very wise and prudent Woman In my Infancy I was very sickly and of a weakly Constitution Blessed be God for the Love and Care of Parents and Friends in my Childhood Estate She was her Parents first Born after Five Years Marriage and despair of having Children which rendred them exceeding tender of her and yet was she well nigh starved at Nurse at Lusam in Kent For though her Parents sent so bountifully besides the Nurses Wages as might near maintain the Family yet have they found the Meat they sent ready to stink for want of dressing In my fuller Age I was of a pensive Nature God saw it good that I should bear the yoak in my Youth but I did not consider the hand that put it on When I was Young the Lord was pleased to deliver me from many Casualties After naming them she always concludes with Praises Blessed be his preventing Mercy Blessed be God that preserved me in that danger And such like If St. Augustin's confessing of his robbing an Orchard be so much approved why may not I touch so small a thing as I meet with here which shews the tenderness of her Spirit When I was a Child my Mother would send me where she less trusted my Sisters In what I might fail I cannot call to mind but I remember she sent me where she kept her Apples they suited my childish Appetite I took one I could not keep it but thought I had stole it I went back unlock'd the Door but with some regret laid down the Apple Blessed be restraining Grace But I must pass over a great many things for brevity which might be usefull unto others and are very pleasant to my self in reading for the savory sense of pious Gratitude which all along breaths in them yet I will not hide the greatest fault I ever knew her guilty of in my own observation or find her charge her self with either in her Book or Diary Having written many things which I pass by and last concerning the burning of her Father's House she thus proceeds About half a year after the Fire which was when she was about Thirteen or Fourteen years old my Father had a great fit of sickness which held him a quarter of a year and in great danger of Death In which time of his sickness I poor wretched Creature through a sudden surprise and provocation spoke a wicked word to a superior of which my Father was informed and most
justly very angry with me I being exceedingly afraid and ashamed to confess what or to whom I had spoke dreading my Father's displeasure denyed it Good Lord pardon this Transgression with the aggravations of it O Lord I thank thee for thy patience forbearance and long-sufferance extended to me Thou mightest most justly have stopt my corrupt breath and allowed me neither space nor time of Repentance I beseech thee with this abhorr'd provocation forgive all my relative Sins Good Lord pardon my Sins of Childhood Youth riper Age single estate married condition wheresoever whensoever against whomsoever committed that they may not shame me in this world nor confound me before thee when I shall appear at thy Tribunal The abhorrency she had of this fault was so great that I firmly believe she never knowingly spake an untruth after to her dying day So gracious faithfull and able is our good God to bring Good out of Evil and by setting home the smart of one Sin to prevent the committing of the like for ever after After many passages of God's goodness and her Father 's indulgent kindness to her which I omit I meet with this evidence of her Father's confidence in her Prudence and Integrity That keeping a petty Cash for him of an Hundred Pounds or more he would not so much as read over the particulars charg'd as disbursed for her self but would say 'Pray thee take at any time what thou needest By which freedom I bless God I was not made lavish but more sparing Lord I bless thee for the indulgent Care and Love of a Parent How much more wilt thou give good things to them that ask thee and no good thing wilt thou withhold from them that walk uprightly My Dear Father was very tender of me and in time of the Civil Wars sent me to Ipswich for my safety where I stay'd a Year and a Quarter in which time a Gentleman of a good Estate in Land and a Merchant by Profession had a great Kindness for me one whom in the best of my thoughts I did then approve but in the extension of God's goodness to me in preventing my future disappointment as to things of this Life by a strange over-ruling Providence my Father slighted that offer two or three Years after the Gentleman decay'd in his Estate by great Losses at Sea About a Year after my return from Ipswich I went into Warwickshire to Stratford in both which places I acknowledge I did not improve that vacancy as I might to better Advantages but squander'd it away vainly and in idle Visits not providing for Eternity with my time Lord pardon my neglects Whilst here a Gentleman of a very considerable Estate was very importunate with me for my liking but though his Estate was a great Temptation to me I could not fancy his Person God's goodness reserving for me my best Choice Having thus run over with what brevity I could what is but Prefatory to my main design and for that end been forced to omit many things well-worthy to have been taken notice of I shall make nearer approaches to what I chiefly propounded to my self which is to represent though in too faint Colours the amiable Beauty of that resplendant Holiness and signal Chatity with which the God of all Grace to whom be all the Glory vouchsafed to adorn this blessed Soul SECT II. How she was first awakened to a deep sense of Religion by Temptation AND because great and weighty Fabricks require deep and strong Foundations that they may stand firm and last that God whose work is perfect thought good to use that method towards her He suffered her weary Soul to be dug deep and long with sore and great Temptations And as 't is usually said a Storm makes a Mariner a Battle a Soldier and Temptation makes a Christian She was certainly an excellent Christian and to render her such she was long buffeted with horrid satanical Suggestions and blasphemous Temptations which not only made her go mourning all the day long but many Months and Years and not only those fiery and envenomed Darts drank up her Spirits but brought her Life to the gates of the Grave and her distressed Soul to the gates of Hell I shall for the comfort and support of others who may fall into the like Distress give the account of it as set down by her own Pen which may at least relieve them against one difficulty which oppressed her very heavily that is she thought her case to be singular and that never any had been in the like condition and one of the first glimpses of comfort which shone into her dark Soul was from her good Aunt 's acquainting her that she had had experience of the like Tryals When I had been at home about half a Year I grew Melancholy occasioned by some discontent which God was pleased to cure with a smart Corrosive through suffering Satan to take advantage of that humour which affliction swallowed up all my other troubles I going to Prayer according to my usual custom before I kneeled down by an outward action of my Hand which was in it self very innocent and at that time not irreverent farther than the Devil made it so by casting a blasphemous suggestion into my mind which looked very hideously upon me But notwithstanding I pray'd without farther molestation at that time I cannot remember what notice I took of the Temptation in my Prayer but when I had ended my Prayer my Enemy fiercely assaulted me I could neither see any thing nor hear or doe any thing but evil Motions were forced into my mind and though I besought the Lord more than thrice I could not be free from that affliction Sometimes through my dark and cloudy fancy I had temptations that there was no God which was very vexatious to me And I impatient of it desired to apprehend a God all Vengeance and Terrour rather than no God at all But the Lord was pleased to obviate that Temptation by my meditating on the Creation My Father much loved Flowers and as the Season of the Year would afford always had his Flower-Pots standing by him where he sate writing in his Shop but then were above in the Parlor window to which I often went to countermine my Temptation in admiring the curious Works of the God of Nature With others there was then in flower a Calcedon Iris full of the impresses of God's curious workmanship which the Lord was pleased to make use of to raise my poor heart and thoughts to the admiring and adoring of him Blessed be God that that Temptation was not above my strength In the time of my extremity I went to Mr. Watson a good Man Minister of Stephen's Walbrook the Parish wherein we lived To him I imparted somewhat of my trouble he strove to comfort me I found little ease with my burthen it grew more heavy I repented I had made my condition known I thought my estate to be singular and that I should
Light and my Righteousness in those particulars as the Noon-day telling me nothing could ever make her shrink or quail but guilt of which blessed be God we comfortably knew there was not the least Spark to raise that Blasting Smoak How did she pray to God! for she knew the Case would bear Appeals to him How did she write to and sollicite Men How did she walk and ride and repeat long Journeys beyond her Strength Had not her Affections been both more strong and swift than Legs or Horse or Coach and when a Gentleman had treated her less obligingly than by a messuage sent from himself he had incouraged her to hope for by her meekness of Wisdom by her calm Replies and by a convincing prudent Letter which she wrote him she obtained this acknowledgment from him That she was a very good yea excellent Christian but no more of these matters let them be buried in her Grave they 'll not disturb her Rest and I heartily pray that when she shall rise to Glory they may rise to no Man's Shame Amen Amen Next to the things of God my Company was the delight and satisfaction of her Life and when I went from home she would importune my speediest return and if she had any Friend to visit she would take the opportunity of my absence that she might not be from me when at home and if any Family affairs gave more trouble and bustle she would not fail to have them finished whilst I was abroad that there might be no molesting puther or noise in my Sight and Hearing and as she often told me next to the pleasing God her greatest Care was that I might never be displeased If passing the love of Women be a superlative Expression hers was more than so passing the love of most Women that there was not a Man on Earth I had cause to envy as happier than my self in that respect She was a Wife according to my own Heart and even exceeded the Character of such an one as with most earnest Prayers I begged of God to vouchsafe to me when I was inclined to enter on the Marriage State In this God did abundantly for me beyond what I could ask or think and as a good Friend who came to comfort me since I lost her was pleased to phrase it alluding to the Expression Ezek. 20.6 Of God's giving the Land of Canaan to his People God had spied out a Wife for me and as we have some hundred times blest God for singling us out from all other Persons in the World to be joined in that most near Relation so I repeat those Praises with profoundest Gratitude from the bottom of a most humble Heart She would often come into my Study to me and when I have asked her what she would have she would reply Nothing My Dear but to ask thee how thou dost and see if thou wantest any thing and then with an endearing Smile would say Dost thou love me to which when I replied Most dearly I know it abundantly would she answer to my Comfort but I love to hear thee tell me so And once when I was adding the reasons of my Love and began first for Conscience she stopt me e'er I could proceed as she was very quick Ah my Dear I allow Conscience to be an excellent Principle in all we doe but like it worst in Conjugal Affection I would have thee love me not because thou must but because thou wilt not as a duty but delight we are prone to reluctate against what 's imposed but take Pleasure in what we chuse so innocently witty would she be They that have such Wives will easily pardon my fondness in this short Paragraph and that all may doe it I wish that no Man living had a worse but I 'll not offend the most sowre or most squeemish in like kind for the future As she was all the best of Wives could be in time of Health so if God sent Sickness more than is credible to any but Eye-witnesses It once pleased God to visit us with Sickness both together she was taken first my self in few days after and both so ill our death was expected by our selves and others but God was pleased to spare us longer I recovered first and when I could leave my Bed and creep into her Chamber the sight of me was like Life from the Dead She hath oft told me she could not express what alteration it made in her the joy so revived her Spirits it helped to cure her There 's not a Sickness nor imminent danger I escaped all the time we lived together which she hath not recorded with most ardent Prayers and signal Instances of God's gracious Answers of them and most lively Praises which might thaw a Heart of Ice into streams of devoutest Thankfulness which even the fear of being prolix can scarce restrain me from transcribing but I will confine my self to one out of very many November 30. 1675. being Saturday my Dear Husband came from London and not well with a Cold. The Lord's Day following he Preached both parts of the Day Monday he took Ruffi's Pills he grew very ill with his Cold which was accompanied with a Fever and a Pleurisie Tuesday Morning very early I sent for Dr. Yardly and Dr. Godfrey On the Wednesday I sent to London for Dr. Walter Needham My Dear Husband having Pains in his Side was by the appointment of his Physicians let-Blood three times After his third Bleeding he had a very sick Night but not sensible of his Illness for when I asked him how he did he said pretty well though to my apprehension he was very ill He groan'd all Night and very restless when I raised him in his Bed to take something to refresh him he had tremblings and a fumbling in his Speech and sometimes speak incoherently which made me fear he was a little delirous these bad Symptoms gave me the fear of the sudden approach of Death I again sent for Dr. Needham who lovingly came again to us These Colds with Fevers were then the Epidemical Disease both of City and Country of which many died by which distemper my Dear Husband was brought even to the Mouth of the Grave from which God mercifully retrieved and gave me him again Thus far the History of my Sickness by her Pen to which before I transcribe the Devotial Part I must add from my own Memory to the Praise of God's Grace and Patience The third time of my Bleeding was by my own peremptory Resolution which I hardly obtained the other Physicians consent to it being the night before Dr. Needham came the second time but God whose Mercy put it into my Mind inclined them to consent to the Arguments I used for it which were these I told them my Pain continued in my Side my Water as high and thick as ever my Heat also and dryness of my Mouth I raised purulent and bloody Matter and I bled at Nose and urged
that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
the happy estate of the Saints in Heaven and ends with these words It is an eternal Happiness which is the crown of our crown She concludes the whole with Prayer Dear and blessed Lord how unsearchable is thy Wisdom Goodness and unspeakable loving-kindness to poor Sinners I beseech thee take off my affections to the transient things of this World and wean my Heart from the Love of this present Life for at thy right hand are rivers of Pleasures and in thy Presence fullness of Joy which no mortal Eye hath seen nor Ear heard neither can it enter into the Heart of Man what thou hast prepared for those that love thee for which blessed estate and rest good Lord fit and prepare me thy poor and most unworthy creature even so come Lord Jesus Amen Amen The Tenth Head is marks of a regenerate Estate by way of Question or Examination Dost thou c. which she shuts up with this Prayer after three Pages Blessed Lord thou art good and continually dost good unto thy People I beseech thee deliver me from a fluctuating and hesitating Mind and help me that I may with full resolution and fixation of Soul cleave unto thee that no lord besides thee may have Dominion or Rule over me but that I may with full purpose of Heart chuse thy Service which may obviate all the Temptations of this World either in the good things or bad things of it or any thing which would stand in competition with thee to allure me or deterr and scare me from thee Thy Service is perfect freedom Lord help me to make that good choice Amen The last Head is a very large and devout Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving that as she had before in the Theory described Prayer and given Directions how to render it acceptable to God and prevalent with him so she might exemplifie those Rules that her dear Children might be taught both by Rule and Example how to make their Addresses to the Throne of Grace to honour God and obtain Mercy to help in time of need I am sensible how long this Section concerning her Care of her Childrens Education is yet I might have easily made it twice as long yea 't was hard to avoid so doing I wish it may be exciting and usefull to any Women to stir them up to and assist them in the like diligence that a Duty the neglect of which is of so bad consequence both to Parents and Children yea to the Church and Kingdom may be more laid to heart and wisely and conscientiously practised Amen SECT XIII Of Monthly Sacraments I Take the Liberty to call them so because that was the designed stated return of them though I confess they were sometimes deferred to five or six Weeks Revolution because our plain Country People in some more busie times had not the Vacancy from their urgent pressing Employments as Harvest for Serious Preparation She was a frequent yea constant Communicant I remember but one Sacrament in all the Years we lived together from which she was absent and that was one of the Easter-Sacraments when she had Received the Lord's Day before She was always very Devout at the Celebration and had an high Esteem of that Office in the Liturgy and her Preparation was always very Serious before never omitted to spend one Day at least in Ritirement to Fast and Pray and examine herself and humble her Soul before God and most of the Week would be much alone Reading the best Books of that Subject of which she had many or Reading them in the Family to prepare the Servants and would often prompt and exhort others not to turn their Backs upon that Holy Feast to which God himself so lovingly Invited them and yet withal caution them not to run to it Rashly and without Consideration that they might neither Starve themselves by neglecting that Food of their Souls nor Surfeit on it for the want of those Graces upon the Exercise of which depends the Digestion of it into wholsome and strengthening Nourishment and when she came Home she would give Solemn Thanks and beg of God to make her constant in the Covenant she had so signally renewed with him SECT XIV Of her Writings I Know not whether most to wonder at the quantity or quality of her Writings I find so many and they all so wise and good and the rather because her Pen was the only thing at which she was slow and the time spent in Devotion and Family-Affairs was so much that either of them might have exhausted all had she not improved every Moment and let none run to waste She was exceeding Expeditious in whatever she took in Hand and would dispatch a Business while another would be going about it yet which she would bewail but could not conquer she was slow at Writing beyond what was ordinary She had been used from a Child to a kind of Set-Hand and took off her Pen almost at every Letter which put a great stop to her speed She writ very streight fair and legibly for such a kind of Hand yet was long about it which notwithstanding besides the large Book of which so much before she hath left many both Books and Papers Copies of good Letters Meditations and the like There is one endorsed thus Contemplations on the 104 Psalm 10th Verse In which besides a large Ingenious and Pious Introduction shewing what led her to the following Thoughts which was chiefly the consideration of God's unlimited Goodness to all the Works of his Hands as the great Benefactor of the whole Creation which she handsomly illustrates in four Pages contains 190 Pages of the largest Paper of Twelve-pence a Quire Having set down the Words He sendeth the Springs into the Valleys which run among the Hills she thus begins This Scripture hath a large Extent it hath a double Blessing in it Temporal and Spiritual Enjoyments the one may be extracted or drawn from the other it affords the upper by the nether Springs The Valleys and Hills represent two sorts of Men the fruitful Valleys are the Character of good Men the barren Hills are the Character of bad Men both Temporal and Spiritual Blessings are given at least tendered to both good and bad but they are differently received and so she proceeds to so great Enlargement and by many more Allegories Piously to fill up near thirty Sheets close written but I refrain giving a farther Taste There is also a large Meditation of a Bee caught in a Spider's Web and assaulted by three Spiders successively after she had been dis-entangled once and again to which she compares a Christian hamper'd in the Snares of Satan and after some Freedom yet again and again molested by him and very Piously and Ingeniously runs the Parallel in many Particulars in near two Sheets which she concludes with a very devout Prayer which respects her own afflicted and vexatious Tryals by renewed Temptations which may be suitably touched when I come to that
kept this Trouble to her half a Year only her Sister knew it and oft see her sit and Weep most bitterly but I humbly hope God gave her strength against the Temptation and quieted her Mind After she revealed this Affliction and better understood the nature of these Troubles which as God enabled me I informed her and strove to Comfort her In the time of this last Sickness she oft asked me to Pray with her which when I performed I was too absolute with God for her Life all the time of her Sickness without express Submission to his Will The Lord pardon the Extremity of my Affection In this Sickness she was very tender-hearted expressed herself very Understandingly and Piously in Prayer with other sweet and gracious Requests to God she begged of the Lord that the Infection of her Disease might spread no farther in the Family which Desires of hers the Lord heard and granted For which Preservation I do desire to be thankfull to the God of our Mercies which in the midst of his just Judgments for my Sins in this heavy stroak shewed us much Compassion in preventing our farther Calamity in that Disease The dear sweet Child oft said She should die yet saying If the Lord pleased to spare her she would labour with watchfulness to serve him better and to amend all she had found amiss desiring me to be her faithfull remembrancer She was troubled that sometimes she had lain in bed too long in the morning especially for being straitened for time on the Sabbath Day which caused her to slubber over those Duties which should have been better performed bewail'd her unprofitableness and promised if she recovered this sickness better to observe the Lord's Day To the Physician that attended her in her sickness she said That he had many opportunities in going to sick and death Beds to mind him of Mortality and though none should be excusable before God yet they should be most inexcusable that had such frequent warnings Said That in health was the fittest time to prepare for death for in sickness she could do little more than consult her ease Dear Child she one Morning desired to see her Father and that she might see his Face saying She had now taken her leave of her dear Father's Face But the Lord spared her a little longer and she did see him again and now I humbly hope she sees the face of her Father in Heaven Dear Child she desired her Father and my self to forgive her in what she had at any time offended us saying If the Lord saw it good to spare her she hoped she should double her Diligence in her Care that she should never grieve us in any thing But this testimony I bless God I can give of her Few Children exceeded her in dutiful loving Obedience to her Parents She express'd her self very affectionately and honourably of her Sister and that she was sorry she had sometimes diverted her by staying in her Closet when she would have been better employed Sweet Child she was very tender spirited and was troubled for several little things which were very small or no Offence and if she had done any thing amiss would ask forgiveness She would sometimes say to me my dear Mother you cannot conceive what passes through my poor head nor what your poor Child endures And then she would bless God that what she suffered was not Hell where the Damned had not a drop of water to cool their Tongue And said What is that I feel compared to the sufferings of my Saviour who under-went such torments to save Sinners Dear Lamb she desired that what Money she had might be given in the Parish to some poor people whom she named and that her dear Father would extend his Charity out of what he would have bestowed at her Burial Which was performed In the whole time of her sickness I was not from her but one night not being well the last night but one before she departed this Life neither was I from her at any time but when the pressing necessities of my frail Nature urged it for a little rest and she was very glad when she saw me again and would express her loving Affections and Thankfulness to me for my Care of her I had many sweet endearing expressions from her of her Love and Duty She said If the Lord spare me I hope I shall do thus as I have promised But if I die my dear Mother you will remember what I now said to you and I could be content to be a little Child again that I might lie at your Breast and Bosom I have transcribed this long account hoping it may be usefull to some young Gentlewomen Daughters of my dear Wife's Christian Friends or others into whose hands their kindness or God's Providence may put it Now follows her exemplary Submission and Improvement She was exceeding desirable to us for the loveliness of her Person sweetness of her Disposition readiness of her Obedience quickness of her Parts serious Inclination to the ways of God and many sweet and winning Qualities which rendered her exceeding amiable and very pleasant to all that knew her But it was the Lord the sovereign Lord of us and her and all the world whose she was much more than ours God doth all things well wisely righteously gratiously and most faithfully The Lord was pleased to stir up great sympathy and tender Compassion in his People with many Prayers for her in her sickness and for us since and though it pleased God to deny them for her longer continuance in this World yet blessed be God we have great cause to hope in his Mercies that those Prayers are not lost but for the Sake Merits and Mediation of her Redeemer and Saviour Jesus Christ are granted to an higher end in eternal Bliss Good Lord sanctifie all our Afflictions to us that we may bear them with meekness and submission that they may not only be the Effects of thy Displeasure but of thy adopting Love Good Lord sanctifie this heavy Affliction to us and shew me in particular why thou contendest with me Therefore besides thy Holy Righteous and Wise Providence and Immutable Decree which had determined her time and the measure of her Days which I desire humbly and with all Submission to Adore and Acquisce in Good Lord give me to know and lay to heart the forfeiting Cause on my part which mov'd thee to smite with so severe a stroke in bereaving us of so desirable a Child and so great a peace of the comfort of my Life in this World Lord pardon my Ingratitude for Mercies injoyed that I have not so improved them to thy glory by a more carefull circumspect exemplary holy Life I beseech thee forgive my slackness in seasonable reproofs admonitions advice and counsels to my Children or others Although thou seest good to cut short my opportunities yet help me better to improve what thou wilt still intrust me with and forgive me
all my neglects of my relative Duty I desire to own thy Righteousness and that thou hast punished me less than my Iniquities deserve I bless thee that thou hast spared to me my dear Husband I beseech thee mightily to furnish him with the Gifts and Graces of thy Spirit and give him a long continuance in this Life very instrumental to thy glory the benefit and great advantage of thy Church and People and at last full fruition of thy self in eternal Glory Lord I bless thee that thou still intrusts us Parents to a Child I beseech thee bless this onely one and inable us with much Wisdom and Diligence to exhort instruct and train up for thee her thou hast yet spared to us Good Lord bless her and she shall be blessed Bless her in Soul with the plentifull Effusions of thy Holy Spirit and all the Graces of it Bless her Body with an healthfull Constitution and Honour her with long Life in the ways of Righteousness Suffer not her heart to be set on the gilded Vanities of this World but grant her of the things of this Life what thou thinkest good for her and be thou her God and Portion and when thou shalt conclude her days on Earth I beseech thee receive her to thy heavenly Kingdom Amen Amen I am sensible of the length of the preceding Section and will not make it longer by a needless and useless Apology needless to those who are acquainted with the actings of that sweet Spirit that breathed so fragrantly in her on such occasions and useless to those who are not only Strangers but Enemies to such a temper of Mind and had it contained but twenty lines would have esteemed it too long by fifteen of them I shall endeavour brevity in those which follow SECT XVII Renewed Assaults of her Enemy by Temptation THis was her almost constant trouble for many Years which she used to call emphatically Her Affliction For 't was with her one of his living Members as with our Blessed Lord her and our Head of whom I noted above When the Devil had finished all his present Temptations he departed from him for a season which clearly intimates his returning to renew his Assaults She sometimes had a breathing time vouchsafed her by the gratious Restraints God laid upon her Enemy but usually not very long for using to afford her the best Assistance that I could I sometimes for some Weeks or Months have refrained to mention them that I might not awaken the sleeping Lion and she taking no notice of them I have often said I hope my Dear thou hast been now some good space free from thy Affliction Alas my Dear would she reply with a deep sigh I have kept silence because I would not weary thee with my continual complaints And other whiles would gratefully acknowledge God's goodness in yielding her some Respite some Calms and quiet Intervals Yet after the Day God so strongly comforted her by Habakkuk i. 12. though I cannot say she was wholly free I do not remember she ever complained of her Temptations being either too fierce or frequent as they had been before nor did she once mention them in her last Sickness Blessed be God's goodness to her This cruel but cowardly Enemy usually made his fiercest Onsets when she was exercised with Indisposition of Mind or Body I will give one Instance of each First Under Indisposition of Mind with great Sorrow In the beginning of May 1680. an Affliction befel me my former Troubles returned upon me A wound not healed brake forth with deep Trouble of Mind much Afflicted with blasphemous Suggestions The good Lord rebuke them and with his All-sufficient Grace cast out of my Soul whatever may offend and provoke him to so severe a Scourge which in my own strength I am not able to stand under so unsupportable is the burthen But the good Lord give me to see that by the supporting Grace of his former Compassions I am preserved from the poisonous infection of them Satan taking advantage of my melancholy Disposition growing upon me after the Death of my dearly beloved Child Mrs. Margaret Cox renewed these Assaults And as in such Cases the subtile malitious Enemy will follow his blow home as far as he is suffered and multiply every Molehill into a Mountain as we speak Proverbially so he endeavoured to increase her disquiet by another very small Circumstance For she proceeds in her Complaint I had also a great damp and check on my earnest Endeavours to teach my little Boy his Book He at little more than three Years old would read well in his Primmer on a sudden he forsook it not through any evil Disposition in him I am not able to give an acccount of it but it occasioned me much grief and trouble But I bless God for his Mercy to me Half a Year after I began a-new with him and he hath with greater readiness to it and love of it learned much better than before So indulgently condescending was the divine Goodness to relieve her suitably and prevent the occasions her Enemy catch'd at to disturb her by Secondly Under Indisposition of Body by a long Sickness It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy impetuously to assault me This Visitation was very cloudy which then I could not see through nor apprehend God's Goodness though he vouchsafed many discoveries of his Favour to me I shall not multiply Passages of the same import nor pursue all the Methods her Christian Prudence made use of for her support as frequent Conference with my self and some few choice Christian Friends whom she much esteemed for their great Piety experience in spiritual Matters and prevalence with God in Prayer She made no noise with her Troubles revealed them but to few and to those whom she judged fittest to counsel and comfort her and sympathize with her in her Temptations as having had Experience of the like or been oft consulted by them who had But her best Defence was to take to her self the whole Armour of God and her chief Refuge was to the Throne of Grace to appeal to God who comforteth them who are cast down and to wrestle with God for help in time of need whom she used to importune to teach her hands to war and her fingers to fight in her spiritual Warfare and to carry on the War at his own Charge because the Quarrel was his and managed against the grand Enemy of his Glory as much as of her Peace I shall transcribe a Paper which I find Endorsed thus In time of Temptation writ by me Elizabeth Walker O Most holy wise powerfull gratious faithfull unchangeable and eternal God I thy poor afflicted Creature tossed on Waves and Billows of Sin and Temptation fly unto thee for Refuge in this Storm begging of thee thy supporting Grace helping me against the Assaults of my spiritual Enemies by what wile soever they invade my Soul with abhorr'd impure Motions vile and detestable Suggestions which
through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
Grace Good Lord grant me the Blessing of Prayer and requite them and theirs in Spiritual Blessings Good Lord remember in much Mercy the Relations of my dear Deceased Friends Be thou the God of the Widow and the Father of the Fatherless Children Also any that ever asked my poor Prayers Gracious God though these I name I stretch out my craving Hands over the World I beseech thee let thy most suitable Mercies reach them Good Lord be Merciful to this Town and People in a sound Conversion Bless our Family with Soul-Mercies and all our Servants In the Margin are named about thirty Heads of Families with their Relations of almost all Ranks and Degrees from Right-Honourable down to them of low Condition for whom she had a peculiar Esteem and endear'd Affection who so far suffer with me that they have lost a sincere Friend and humble earnest Intercessor at the Throne of Grace I will use an Expression of her own Pen touched above on the like occasion I humbly hope these Prayers remain upon the File of God's Mercy And I humbly and heartitly beseech him they may be answered with Blessed Returns upon my self and mine and upon all them and theirs for whom they were sent up with so devout and commendable Charity and Zeal Amen SECT XIX Some trying Calamities on the Nation on Friends and Family and signal Deliverances from Dangers AS she was none of those who regard not God's Works nor the Operation of his Hands but duly observed and humbly adored his Providential Dispensations so she cast them not behind her Back but constantly Recorded them with Awakening Pious Reflections upon them whether relating to the Nation Friends or Family I shall scarcely mention one of twenty only touch a few one or two of a kind as Instances and Examples to others to provoke to Imitation About four years after King Charles the Second's coming into England began the great Plague May the 5th 1665. of which died in and about London 68592. I think it should have been 98592 her Pen by an easie Mistake pointing the first Figure upward which should have been turned downward as hath been Computed besides great Multitudes in other Parts of the Kingdom In the Year following was the Dreadful Fire September the Second which Consum'd and Burnt down Eighty nine Churches and as Account hath been given 13200 Houses Lord how manifold are thy Judgments Give the Inhabitants of the Earth to learn Righteousness thereby If some might blame me yet I believe some would have thanked me had I added many more of these National Concerns as a very brief Chronicle especially with her usefull Reflections Whoso are Wise will consider these things and they shall understand the Loving Kindness of the Lord whoso doth his great and wonderfull Works that they ought to be had in Remembrance But for Brevity I refrain And as she took notice of publick Concerns so did she also of what touched particular Persons especially her Friends as for Instance January 13. 1672. God was pleased to suffer a sudden and lamentable Fire to Consume in a few hours a large House the Habitation of a good Gentleman our Friend and Neighbour Mr. Luther of Miles's three Miles distant from us upon which she wrote a most kind and Christian Letter to him of which I find the Copy She records the Deaths of many Friends and always with a short Character of them and useful Improvements As for Instance April 12. 1678. It pleased God to take to himself the Most Excellent Lady the Countess of Warwick She was Eminent in Religion a sound Christian in Knowledge and Practice exceeding Charitable did very much good a very sincere and obliging Friend very sweet in Disposition and in Condescention to all even to those much below her she did excell both in Religion and in all other commendable Vertues she lived very desirable and dyed much bewailed as a deep Loss to her Relations to the Neighbourhood to the Church and People of God to all that knew her amongst whom to my Dear Husband to him she was a most entire Friend and to my self Good Lord Sanctifie to us this heavy Deprivation the loss of our Honourable and most Endearing Friend Lord make up the Breach which for Extent is very wide yet not beyond the Bounds of thy Boundless Compassion Good Lord fill up to us and all that share in this smarty touch of thy Hand with full Supplies fetched beyond Creature-Enjoyments more immediate from thy self in thy immutable Friendship and never-dying Love and Favour in that unchangeable Rock of Ages Christ Jesus which Lord vouchsafe to grant Amen Amen And having named several Deaths of other Friends with true Characters of them she concludes Good Lord Sanctifie to me these frequent Warnings of Mortality and Death I beseech thee fit me for my Departure out of this World She mentions also three Eminent Deliverances from the Danger of Fire breaking out in our House in which we inhabited and one in another House of ours in the Parish which were prevented by signal Providences which she sets down and closes with most thankful Praises There 's not an Eminent Danger into which I fell and out of which God's Mercy rescued me which she remembers not with Expressions which testifie a most Dear Affection to my self and a most Pious and Devout Sense of God's Watchful Providence and Comfortable Instances of his Gratious Answers to her Prayers I shall touch but one or two out of very many August 1660. My Dear Husband coming from London fell into the Hands of four Robbers which prevented his coming Home that Day which much troubled me being Saturday Night and being very Tempestuous with great Rains Lightning and Thunder but after some time spent by my self the rest of my Family being in Bed I powr'd out my Request to God in his behalf my Heart being much quieted I went to my Rest where God gave me the Repose of the Night and in the Morning brought home my Dear Husband to our mutual Comfort and his performing the work of that Day in God's own Service Blessed be God He received no eminent Harm but attempting to escape one of the Thieves with a Club struck him on the side of his Head but his Hat broke the Blow that he had not much hurt I bless God They took his Money Watch and Rings but none of his Cloaths and though the tender Mercies of the Wicked are cruel God so over-ruled their usual harsh demeanour that one of them pulled off one of his own Coats and wrapt it about him for some time and set him under a Tree to shroud him from the Rain and Tempest Blessed be God for his Preservation in this Danger Some Passages in the preceding Paragraph run so parallel with what we read St. John 4.50 that I shall transcribe the Words and then make an unforced and appposite Application of them to the purpose for which I produce them and allude to them Then
enquired he of them the Hour when he began to amend And they said unto him Yesterday at the seventh Hour the Fever left him so the Father knew it was the same Hour in which Jesus said unto him Thy Son Liveth and himself Believed and his whole House She intimates that and when she powred out her Requests to God in my behalf and that her Heart was much quieted and she went to her Rest and God gave her the Repose of the Night and I know it was the same Hour in which I was delivered from those violent Men and I do believe God heard her Prayer and Bless him for it And O that others would believe him to be a God hearing Prayer and would be encouraged to call earnestly upon him There follow after this more than twenty eminent Dangers by afflictive trying Providences and very signal Deliverances from them I 'll touch but one of all these before I reach one at about thirty Years distance from what I last mentioned though all attended with Devout Reflections July 4. 1676. My Dear Husband was under some Indisposition of Health he was Feverish I feared he would have had a Fit of Sickness which had very sorrowful oppressive Impressions on me My Dear Husband then made his Will that is a new one for I had made one many Years before and read it to me exprest his much Endearing Affections to me in his great Love and Care of me with so great a part of his Estate he gave to me for my Plentifull Susistence after his Decease This Kindness I desire to acknowledge with Thankfulness to God and my Dear Husband Lord I Bless thee for thy sparing Mercy in the reparation of my Dear Husband's Health which I beseech thee continue to length of Days in this Life and when this shall be no more Lord crown with thy exceeding Weight of Eternal Glory Amen Amen Since which making another Will I gave her my whole Estate Personal and Real what designed for Charity and a few Legacies excepted with power to sell any or all my Lands lest any un-foreseen Emergency should need extraordinary Supplies but she earnestly intreated me to alter that Power of Selling being abundantly satisfied to confine herself to the Personal Estate and Revenue of the Land which I gave her liberty to raise Money upon to be repayed in some Years after her Death to make as sure as I could she should never want any thing which I was able to supply her with which I mention to encourage Wives to deserve as well and Husbands to compensate so well-deserving Wives What should have been immediately subjoyned to my Escape from violent Men in 1660 because of the too great similitude between them is my deliverance in 1685. I will not say from more unrighteous yet I must say from those which are more inexcusable for God himself seems to extenuate the Fault of them who in Necessity take from others to satisfie their own Hunger and pressing Wants but I never read that either God or any Man except those like them excused those who sin of Malicious Wickedness and gain nothing besides the filling up the Measure of their Iniquities but the satisfaction of their own spightful Malice in troubling and afflicting others I will not transcribe what her Pen so largely so truly so piously sets down on this occasion only the number of the Days which I confess she calls the short Triumph of the being exactly Ten puts me in mind of Rev. 2.10 and if this fall into the Hands of any who made themselves Accessories and guilty post factum by a snearing Pleasure they took in the wicked Oppression of the Innocent I pray God give them Repentance And I think it is no harder to forgive them than it was for Tertullian to glory in the Christians behalf that Nero was their first Persecutor whom he speaking in their Name calls Damnationis nostrae Dedicatorem It must needs be good which Nero persecutes And we have a surer word St. John 15.18 19. A great many more afflictive Dispensations the Divine Wisdom and Faithfulness saw good to exercise us with to enforce us often to the Throne of Grace to obtain Mercy to help in time of need and many most signal and surprizing Deliverances from them did his Goodness and Loving-kindness seasonably vouchsafe us from them and most gracious Supports did his tender Compassions afford us under them frequently bringing Meat out of the Eater good out of evil filling thereby our Hearts with his Love and our Mouths with Songs of Praise and Thanksgivings to him the Rock of our Salvation and our Refuge in times of Trouble and repeated Experiences of his readiness to pity and to succour us raising up those hopes which make not ashamed All which she records with so savoury a sense of God's Mercy and such lively Expressions of most humble and holy Hallelujahs as might inspire most serious Sentiments into the Reader but I shall slide over them in silence because as I hope many do not need those Sparks to kindle their gratitude into Flames so many are of so prejudiced a frame of Spirit that to use so base a word as fitted to so base a temper of Mind they would rather put them out than suffer them to kindle into a blaze of Devotion on so damp an Hearth as are the Hearts steep'd in impure noisome Lusts not only destitute of all Sense of the Power of Godliness but implacable Enemies to it in all who own and love it SECT XX. Of our going to Tunbridge-Wells THough it be known to many that we most frequently went to Tunbridge-Wells from 1661 and after some Intermissions almost every Year till 1689. yet more may wonder why I write a Section of it here to which this short Account might serve for answer I doe it because I find so much concerning it under her Pen who is the Subject and occasion of the whole But that 's not all it is to shew how she behaved her self there as well as with what Christian Frame of Spirit she attended God's Providence in expectation of a Blessing from him who made the Fountains of Waters and gave to them their usefull Properties and rendred them very beneficial to her Many 't is true go thither solely or chiefly to drink these Waters for their Health but it is as true many go thither for Pleasure and Diversion only as many for a mixed reason including both and to this last Rank belongs her going thither But lest any should be surprized by this I must Interpret my self She went thither to drink the Waters which oft proved very advantageous to her and that End was common to her with many others and she went for Divertisement and Pleasure as many more and this also was common to her with Hundreds in Sound but not in Sense or Meaning and it may be was peculiar to her and it is possible few if any ever went so many years to Tunbridge-Wells
put forth her utmost Ability and Strength in assisting the Sick and Infirm not the meanest Neighbour whom she would not visit and help in such Circumstances administer to them what in her Judgment she thought most proper for them and not only direct how to use what she brought them but stay with them or come again to see the Operation or Success and she confined not this Kindness to the limits of the Parish but would extend it to some distance I will take the freedom to give one Instance because the Reverend Person for and to whom she performed it in thankfull Acknowledgment ever after used both while she lived and since she dyed to call her his Nurse A Neigbouring Minister having a long and dangerous Sickness when upon a Visit made him she took notice that as she feared he wanted Persons of Experience about him having before lost his Wife and his Physicians by reason of distance could not be long or often with him she daily went to him for many days at near two Miles distance and staid with him most part of the Days I affirm not that she watched with him any Night but I am sure she hath done so elsewhere and perfectly remember when and where because it hath slipped my Memory and though she was so modest as not to assume much to herself I have heard her say She thought God made her Instrumental not only to the speedier recovery of his Health but preservation of his Life Another object of her Painfull Charity which I the rather name because our Litany expresly reckons it amongst the objects of our devoutest Prayers was Women Labouring with Child whom she would rise at any hour of the Night to go too and carry with her what might be usefull to them having good Skill and store of Medicines always ready by her for such occasions and there was scarcely ever any difficulty in that case round about but recourse was made to her both for Advice and Medicines and if might be with Convenience for her Presence which was always very acceptable and comfortable to the distressed Women when the distance was such that she could afford it I might write well near as much of her forgiving as her giving Charity for though the objects and occasions of exercising this Grace were not so many and so frequent as those of the other yet what they wanted in number was made up abundantly in Weight and Measure under which pressures and provocations she behaved herself as became the Daughter of him who was Dumb before the Shearers and opened not his Mouth She would not recompence Evil for Evil nor answer reviling with reviling but committed her Cause to him who Judgeth Righteously knowing it was for his sake she was so despitefully used and thought it not strange that seeing the Master of the House was called Beelzebub those of his Houshold should â—e called so too She had well studied our Saviour's Sermon on the Mount and considered that Passage especially for she reckons the Practice of that Lesson amongst the signs of a Regenerate State St. Matth. 5.44 I say to you Love your Enemies Bless them that Curse you Do good to them that hate you Pray for them that despitefully use you and Persecute you that â—e may be the Children of your Father which is in Heaven And to confess her Weakness I am perswaded she thought it as true a sign of a sincere Christian to love an Enemy though a bad Man for the natural Image of God remaining in him as some do to hate a Friend though a good Man for the renewed Image of God which appears in him If her Opinion be an Errour I hope it is on the Right-hand and so may escape being reputed an Heresie But I remember I am writing of Forgiving Charity and I would not give occasion to start such a Question as I once heard started by a Gentleman after a lashing Sermon Preached on a Text of Mercy He said in Droll 'T was a Sermon of Mercy but the question is whether it were a Mercifull Sermon Sed motos praestat componere fluctus Peace and be still unruly Passions What hath added to her Crown oâ— Glory as I am confident her Carriage in such rancounters did should be taken by thâ— better Handle esteemed favours for the Issueâ— rather than injuries for the Design When Beeâ— fight the throwing dust upon them it is said will puiet them She is dead and her Dusâ— shall for ever extinguish all Resentments and let them be buried in an Eternal Amnestry Had she lived or I wrote of her in another Age one thing more might have been added to the List of or brought up the Rear of her Charity that is the temper of her Mind and Carriage towards those who were not altogether of her Size and Dimensions nor cast exactly in her Mould I confess she was one of the old-fashion'd Christians who thought her Heavenly Father's Example an Authentick Warrant for her Imitation of whom whosoever feareth God and working Righteousness is accepted And though Vertues and Vices change their names and grow unmodish and obsolete like Garbs and Words yet old Wine relished best to her Pallate which so many spit out as soon as taste and cry it is vapid or eager Some perhaps may wonder that so wise a Man as St. Paul should not only allow Moderation to be commendable but enjoyn it as a Duty and press it by the Medium of the Day of the Lord drawing near Let you Moderation be known unto all Men the Lord is at hand When now his coming is sixteen hundred Years nearer most Men are as many Miles more distant from Moderation than when he wrote But I must acknowledge how much soever it may lessen her in the Esteem of any that she had a Latitude not in her Conversation for she always walked in the Narrow Way in her Judgment about little indifferent Matters Oh how Diametrically opposite are some in both She observed there were Men of all Complexions and Blacks and Tawnys as well as Whites were Descendants of the first Adam and so she hoped those of different Perswasions might be ingrafted into the Second Adam and therefore thought Job's Words Canonical to this Day Why Persecute we him seeing the Root of the Matter is found in him She did not think all that in a few things dissented from the Communion in which she lived such rank Heathens that if she heard a Man name them without setting a stigmatizing Brand upon them like the bigotted Jews of St. Paul upon the meer naming of the Gentiles Acts 22.22 She should cry out Away with such a Fellow from the Earth for it is not fit that he should Live It is a true and weighty Saying worthy our Remembrance and Imitation That the prime Object of God's Love is his Dear Son and next to that the Image of his Son where-ever he finds it And she wrote after this Copy she loved the Lord
Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
writ upon the two Tables of thy Heart and Practice with his own Finger the Holy Spirit that thou mayst receive the Truth in the Love of it being renewed in the spirit of thy mind He that is in Christ is a new Creature and he that hath not the Spirit of Christ is none of his It is the one thing necessary to serve God and save thy Soul chuse that good part that may never be taken from thee Dear Johnny Let no day pass if in health without reading the Scriptures one or two Chapters in the Old-Testament the like in the New-Testament read with intention of Mind and so hear the good Word of God in publick and as God hath commanded keep Holy the Sabbath-Day do not violate that Holy Rest with Play Recreation vain Talk Sleep or Idleness or omitting any Duty it requires Eat moderately that Fumes from a full Stomach may not cloud thy Intellectual Performances withdraw from that Company and those Objects which may hinder thee from thinking on the Sermons or any other Religious Duty in them exercise thy self and if God ever give thee opportunity be helpfull unto others in the like for their Spiritual Advantage that all within thy Power may serve the Lord hearing the good Word of God reading it Meditation Prayer and Praises to God are the Duties of the Sabbath-Day spend no part of that in Visiting except to the Sick and Afflicted and allow it not to be done to thee by others sequester thy self from them and all Worldly Discourse but endeavour to keep that one Day in seven like the Angels and Saints in Heaven who serve and do not cease The Seventh Day is God's Tribute out of the Week he hath allowed thee Six for thy secular Concerns out of them bring thy free-will Offering sometime for thy Spiritual Advantage for which the Sabbath affords much and upon the due observation of it is assured from God to his People a communication not only of Spiritual Blessings but of Temporal Blessings also Read the latter part of Isa 58. Let no part of the Sabbath day slip without some Improvement for thy best concern for which also every day must be accounted for The Sabbath is an Hedge and Fence to all Religion if that be broken down there will enter all disorders of Life which Men are prone to to prevent which God seems to guard the fourth Commandment with the Authority of the three foregoing placing it in the midst and the fifth Commandment next on the other side bearing the Sword of the Civil Magistrate and by God's own appointment Numb 15.35 Moses caused the Man gathering Sticks on the Sabbath-Day to be put to Death Dear Johnny be affraid of the Powers though Men be remiss to punish the Breakers of God's Laws yet himself beareth not the Sword in vain Do not gather the Sticks of a mis-spent Sabbath a Day on which God hath set a special Remark a Remember to keep it Holy the great neglect and contempt of this Duty makes it more necessary to be prest more earnestly Keep all God's Commandments to break one link of the Ten violates the whole Chain Jam. 2.10 Keep it intire have respect to all God's Precepts in the latitude of them do not wander from them in the by-paths of a sinfull Life they are better than thousands of Gold and Silver they were of such a concern to David that he begs of God an Holy Compulsion make me to know thy Precepts Statutes and Commandments And Moses useth this Excitation to the Children of Israel for their observing God's Law Thou shalt keep the Commandments of the Lord thy God for they are for thy good Deut. 10.13 and 11.18 Therefore shalt thou lay them up in thy Heart and in thy Soul and doe and teach them Dear Johnny this doe thy self and as far as it may be in thy Power excite others in the same Duty that thou and they with Joshua's Resolution may serve the Lord Jos 24.15 Own God in this World as thou wouldst have him own thee hereafter Some glory in their Shame be not thou ashamed of thy Glory be not ashamed of the Profession of Religion Christ hath said He that is ashamed of me before Men of him will I be ashamed before my Father and his Holy Angels Dear Johnny God hath been very good to thee thou hast lacked nothing good for thee but God hath provided well for thee do not ill requite the Lord by the neglect of any known Duty or doing any thing contrary to the Law of God Sin is a very ungrateful thing do not provoke him to withdraw his Loving Kindness from thee for Soul or Body Woe if God depart What is said of a Tale-bearer That he separates near Friends the same will Sin do if not watched against it will separate between God and thy Soul and will bring an Evil Report to God with worse Effect than Joseph of his Brethren to their Father and will be of worse Consequence than stripping Joseph of his Coat not only the external Blessings of this Life but it will deprive thee of all Internal Comforts God's favourable Countenance which is better than Life and exclude from his Comfortable Presence for ever Sin put the Flaming Sword into the Angel's Hand to debarr our first Parents from the Tree of Life divested and stripped them and all their Posterity of their Original Righteousness and left them and their sinfull Off-spring naked exposed to all the Afflictions and Miseries of this Life and under God's Displeasure to their Eternal Ruine had not Free Grace recovered that lapsed Estate Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ Dear Johnny That thou mayest know that thou art one of those whom he so loved manifest thy Love to him by that Test that Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Love is a reflective Act if thou lovest God according to this Discrimination thou mayest know that he loveth thee and gave himself for thee and hath chosen thee one of his peculiar People zealous of good Works therefore if Sinners intice thee consent thou not go not with them lest thou learn their ways and get a blot unto thy Soul Let God's Law be the prohibition of every Evil Way set it with its drawn Sword against all Irregularities of Life that it may be unto thee as the Angel in Paradise to defend in thee the Tree of Life that no ill Practice with the evil Consequences of it may touch thee Dear Johnny Shew thy Love to God by thy Love to his People and poor Members of Christ Christ saith Hereby shall Men know that ye are my Disciples that ye love one another God requires the duties of the second Table of the Law as well as the first and Christ gives a concise and full account of both he being asked which was the first and great Commandment saith Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy Heart with all thy Mind with all
thy Soul and with all thy Strength the second is like the first Thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self On this brief Account Christ put so great a stress he said On these hang all the Law and the Prophets And St. James saith 28. If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the Scriptures thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self which God requires not in Word only but in Deed also relieving their Necessities if any be naked or destitute of daily Food to feed and cloath them to say depart in Peace and give them not those things needfull to the Body it will not profit therefore with-hold not good from them to whom it is due if it be in the Power of thy Hand to doe it it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive He that gives to the Poor shall not lack but he that hideth his Eyes shall have many a Curse Do not say I have but little now to give but I will give hereafter remember the poor Woman's Mite was more in Christ's Esteem than those who had of their abundance cast into the Treasury Dear Johnny It may be something might be spared from unnecessary Expence buying Fruit or the like of which too much may be prejudicial to thy Health and may be laid out to a better account Do not give grudgingly by constraint lest it be as the Lame or Blind which was not to be brought to God like Cain's Sacrifice which he brought with an unwilling mind not acceptable to God Let the object stir up thy Compassion that thou mayst not give too sparingly God loves a chearfull giver Dear Johnny He that gives to the Poor lends to the Lord he that makes all Grace to abound will repay thee in temporal and spiritual Blessings good Measure shaken and pressed together and running over shall be given to thee God hath given many Promises to the Charitable to hint but a few The Lord will deliver him in time of Trouble and will not deliver him to the Will of his Enemies The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive and he shall be Blessed upon the Earth The Lord will strengthen him upon the Bed of Languishing he will make all his Bed in his Sickness Psal 41. For thy Encouragement read Isaiah 58. Yield Obedience to God's Command He hath said Deut. 7. If there be among you a poor Man thou shalt not harden thy Heart not shut thy Hand against thy poor Brother thou shalt shurely give unto him and thy Heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him but thou shalt open thy Hand wide unto thy poor and to thy needy for for this thing shall the Lord bless thee in all thou puttest thy Hand unto Dear Johnny Thou art also bound by an obligatory Promise to thy Grandfather and to me we have sometimes given thee Money for this Purpose to inure thee betimes to be Charitable that something of it thou mightest give unto the Poor as thou hast promised a Penny in every Shilling it is but a little do not withold that lest it become an accursed thing to thee like Achan's wedge of Gold at the Last Day the Day of Judgment This duty of Charity in right performance of it will be a distinguishing Character of those who shall stand at Christ's Right-hand from those who shall stand at his Left-hand whose Hands were as strait as their Hearts were hard they would have no Pity on the Poor therefore they shall find none But Christ will say unto them Depart ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels with that Infernal Company But those at Christ's right-hand which fed the hungry cloathed the naked visited the sick and imprisoned which Christ will take as done unto himself he will reward with the Kingdom of Heaven Dear Johnny Make thee friends of the Mammon of this World that when this Life fails thou mayst be received into everlasting Habitations Dear Johnny As God may bless thee with the things of this World let not thy little at present be the measure of greater plenty He that sows sparingly shall reap spearingly but he that sows bountifully shall reap bountifully not only in this Life but in that to come There are degrees of Glory in Heaven the better here the happier hereafter though not of merit but of Grace God will pass by the Imperfections of his People which cleave to their best performance Dear Johnny With other religious Duties continue thy custom of private Prayer at least twice a day Morning and Evening besides publick and family Prayer Ejaculatory Prayer is also of great Benefit it is short but holy Desires lifting up thy heart to God Let them be thy last thoughts before sleep that God may give thee as his Beloved sleep the like as soon as thou wakest in the Morning before more solemn Prayer and with both render him Praise for the Mercy thou liest down in peace and risest in safety always under God's Protection These holy Desires may be oft sent to Heaven and bring thee Blessings the World cannot give and will defend thee from the Sin and Vanity of it keeping thy heart in a good frame they may be as the Angels ascending and descending upon Jacob's Ladder where God is above it ready to receive thee that thy return to secular Employment may be sanctified and blest that God may by thy holy wrestlings with him as he did Jacob bless thee in thy way to Canaan and New Jerusalem above And in thy more lengthened Prayer with thy own necessities and receipts from God remember the Church and People of God as need requires with Prayers and Praises Go to God with filial Fear and holy Reverence of Body and Mind God is in Heaven by his Greatness Superiority and Majesty thou on Earth in Weakness and Indigency Bring thy wants to his all-sufficient Fullness and immense Goodness ready able willing to supply all thy Necessities beg thee pardon of thy Sins and what thou needest for the sake merits and ever-prevaling Intercession of Jesus Christ Ask that thou mayst receive his holy Spirit as the Seal of his Love to thee With the imputed Righteousness of Christ reconciling thee to God Beg that thou mayst also have an inherent Righteousness from him renewing thee in the Spirit of thy Mind into his Image that thou mayst become one with him his Law being writ on thy Heart that he may guide thee by his Counsel in this troublesome World that no temptation may be above thy strength These things ask with thy daily Bread which implies the supply of all the necessities of humane Nature and be not desirous of more than God sees good for thee and for all the Receipts for Soul and Body be thankfull forget not to render Praises to God for what he bestows on thy self and others Forget not Zion pray for the peace of Jerusalem they shall prosper that love her Pray for the Conversion of Enemies that the
this but with his I desire that this may be usefull to thee when neither he nor I can write or advise thee all things in this Life are uncertain Life is so The World passeth away and the things of it but he that doth the Will of God shall abide for ever All things on this side Eternity are on the wing of Time they hasten away to their fixed Estate Dear Johnny Time is precious let it not be ill spent but improved for thy well-being in this World but let all tend to attain and secure thy Eternal Happiness which hath great dependance on thy manner of Living in this World and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death in time is thy time that that is past cannot be recalled that to come cannot be assured that present is onely thine and will not tarry let it not unprofitably slide from thee Acknowledge God in all thy ways and he will guide thy Path that none of thy steps shall slide and when God takes thy Earthly Parents and Friends from thee thy Heavenly Father will take care of thee Therefore Dear Johnny acquaint thy self with God and serve him with a perfect Heart and with a willing Mind for the Lord searcheth all Hearts and understands all the Imaginations of the Thoughts if thou seekest him he will be found of thee but if thou forsakest him he will cast thee off for ever 1 Chron. 28.9 This Scripture thy Dear Grandfather hath oft minded thee of I do the same let mine with his Counsels and the Word of God be to thee as a threefold Cord not to be broken but let them bind thy Obedience to God's Righteous Law there will be no greater joy to thy Dear Grandfather and my self than to see thee walking in the Truth Dear Johnny It is my earnest Request that God will direct guide counsel and conduct thee in and through this troublesome sinfull World Sin hath made it so The Good Lord give thee his preventing Grace bless thee with Spiritual and Temporal Blessings and when God will take thee out of this World receive thee to those Coelestial Habititions in Eternal Mansions of Glory prepared for them that love him and keep his Commandments of which happy number I beg God will make thee after length of Days in this Life preparatory for the fuller fruition and enjoyment of God and of thy dearest Frinds with all the for-ever Blessed Saints and Angels in that unchangeable Blessed Estaâ—e in Heaven which make sure of Dear Johnny This is my request to thee aâ—d Prayer to God for thee I am Thy truly Loving and very Affectionate Grand-mother Elizabeth Walker Dec. 9. 1689. I shall add no more of her Pious Papers nor give any farther Character of her Person or exemplary Life than the Book presents supposing nothing can leave a more savoury relish on the Godly Wise or be fitter to conclude such a Work which is designed to render them so who read it than this plain but prudent honest Letter written so providentially so immediately before her Death that it may be called her last or dying Words which usually leave the deepest and most lasting Impressions and that with so strong and endearing tender Affections with so undisguised and native Simplicity without Art or pretence to Learning or any other acquired Abilities than wise observation and an Holy Heart and as it performs more than could be expected from the Writer I humbly beseech God it may effect ever beyond what might be ordinarily hoped for in the young Reader especially the dear Child to and for whom she wrote it Amen Amen FINIS
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those