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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A64976 The young gallant's academy, or, Directions how he should behave himself in all places and company as in an ordinary, in a play-house, in a tavern, as he passes along the street all hours of the night, and how to avoid constables interrogatories : to which is added, the character of a town-huff : together with the character of a right generous and well-bred gentleman / by Sam. Overcome. Vincent, Samuel.; Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1674 (1674) Wing V426; ESTC R22643 29,879 125

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refined that thick Tobacco-breath which the rheumatick Night throws abroad on purpose to put out the Eye of the Element which work Questionless cannot be perfectly finished till the Suns Car-horses stand prancing on the very top of highest Noon so that then not till then is thy healthfullest hourto be stirring Do you require Examples to perswade you At what time do Lords and L●dies rise but at that time Your simpering Merchants Wives are the fairest liers in the world and is not eleven a Clock their common hour they find no doubt unspeakable sweetness in such lying or else they would not day by day put it into practice In a word Midday-slumbers are Golden they make the body fat the skin fair the flesh plump delicate and tender they set a crimson Colour on the cheeks of young Women and make Courage to rise up in Men they make us thristy both in sparing Victuals for Break-fasts thereby are saved from the Hell-mouth of the Belly and in preserving Apparel for whilest we warm us in our Beds our Cloaths are not worn The Casements of thine Eyes being then at this commendable time of Day newly set open chuse rather to have thy wind-pipe cut in pieces than so Salute any man Bid not Good Morrow so much as to thy Father though he be an Emperor an idle Ceremony it is and can do him little good to thy self it may bring much harm For if he be a wise man that knows how to hold his peace of necessity he must be counted a fool that cannot keep his tongue Among all the wild men that run up and down in this wide Forest of Fools the World none are more superstitious than those notable Ebritians the Jews yet a Jew never wears his Cap thred-bare with putting it off never bends in the Hams with casting away a Leg never cries God save you though he see the Devil at your Elbow Play the Jews therefore in this and save thy Lips that labour only to remember that so soon as thy Eye-lids be unglued thy first exercise must be either sitting upright on thy Pillow or lying at thy Bodies length to yawn and stretch and gape wider than an Oyster-Weuch This Lesson being played turn over a new leaf and unless that Frizeland-Cur cold Winter offer to bite thee walk up and down a while in thy Chamber either in thy thin shirt only or strip thy self stark naked Are we not born so and shall a foolish Custome make us to break the Laws of our Creation Our first Parents so long as they went naked were suffered to dwell in Paradise but after they got Coats to their backs they were turned out of Doors Put on therefore no Apparel at all or put it on carelesly for look how much more delicate Liberty is than Bondage so much is the loosness in wearing of our Attire above the imprisonment of being nea●ly and Taylor-like drest up To be ready in our Cloaths is to be ready for nothing else A man looks as if he hung in Chains or like a Scar-crow and as those excellent Birds whom Pliny could never have the wit to catch in all his Springes commonly called Woodcocks whereof there is great store in England having all their Feathers pluckt from their backs and being turned out as naked as Plato's Cock was before all Diogenes his Scholars even so stands the case with man Truth because the bald-Pate her Father Time hath no Hair to cover his Head goes stark naked but Falshood hath ever a Cloak for the Rain You see likewise that the Lyon being the King of Beasts the Horse being the lustiest Creature the Vnicorn whose Horn is worth half a City all these go with no more clothes on their backs than what Nature hath bestowed upon them but your Jackanapes being the scum and rascallity of all the hedge-creepers they go in Jerkins Marry how They are put into these rags only in mockery Oh! Beware therefore what you wear and how you wear it and let this heavenly Reason move you never to be handsome for when the Sun is arising out of his Bed doth not the Element seem more glorious than being only in gray at Noon when he is in all his Bravery it were madness to deny it What man would not willingly see a beautiful woman naked or at least with nothing but a Lawn or some loose thing over her Shall we then abhor that in our selves which we admire and hold to be so excellent in others Absit CHAP. III. How a young Gallant should accost to and warm himself by the Fire How attire himself The Descriptition of a Mans Head The praise of long Hair BUt if as it often happens unless the Year catch the Sweating-Sickness the Morning like Charity waxing cold thrust his frosty fingers into thy bosome pinching thee black and blew with her nails made of Ice like an invincible Goblin so that thy Teeth as if thou wert singing a Prick-song stand coldly quavering in thy Head and leap up and down like the nimble Jacks of a pair of Virginals be then as swift as a Whirlwind and as boystrous in tossing all thy cloaths in a rude heap together with which bundle filling thine Arms step bravely forth crying Room What a coyl keep you about the Fire The more are set round about it the more is thy commendation if thou either bluntly ridest over their shoulders or tumblest aside their Stools to creep into the Chimney-corner there toast thy body till thy schorched shins be speckled all over being stained with more Colours than are to be seen on the right side of the Rainbow Neither shall it be fit for the state of thy health to put on thy Apparel till by fitting in that hot-house of the Chimney thou feelest the fat Dew of thy body like bisting run trickling down thy sides for by that means thou may'st lawfully boast That thou livest by the sweat of thy brows As for thy stockings and shooes so wear them that all men may point at thee and make thee famous by that glorious name of Male-content Having thus apparelled thee from Top to Toe according to that simple Fashion which the greatest Coxcombs in Europe strive to imitate it is now high time for me to have a blow at thy head wch I will not cut off with sharp Documents but rather set it on faster bestowing upon it such excellent carving that if all the Wisemen of Gotham should lay their Heads together their Jobber-nowls would not be able to compare with thine To maintain therefore that Sconce of thine strongly guarded and in good reparation let never any Combe fasten his Teeth there Let thy Hair grow thick and bushy like a Forest or some Wilderness lest those six-footed Creatures that breed in it and are Tenants to that Crown-Land of thine be hunted to death by every base barbarous Barber and so that delicate and tickling pleasure of scratching be utterly taken from thee for thy Head is a House