way_n then_o i_o come_v through_o the_o coast_n to_o visit_v my_o friend_n among_o who_o i_o be_v silent_a though_o i_o have_v great_a dispute_n still_o in_o myself_o and_o be_v at_o much_o uncertainty_n in_o my_o spirit_n whether_o to_o fir_n still_o or_o no._n i_o dare_v not_o discover_v my_o mind_n unto_o you_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o friend_n for_o fear_v that_o either_o i_o shall_v grieve_v you_o or_o that_o you_o will_v persuade_v i_o contrary_a to_o my_o own_o will_n so_o i_o come_v to_o london_n where_o i_o acquaint_v some_o friend_n with_o my_o thought_n and_o working_n of_o heart_n and_o desire_v they_o to_o find_v out_o some_o way_n of_o employment_n for_o i_o for_o i_o be_v not_o weary_a of_o the_o army_n only_o but_o such_o as_o it_o be_v of_o my_o ministry_n too_o they_o tell_v i_o i_o be_v under_o a_o temptation_n and_o wish_v i_o not_o to_o give_v place_n to_o the_o devil_n with_o much_o love_n and_o good_a intention_n they_o persuade_v i_o to_o proceed_v not_o consider_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v blast_v and_o break_v down_o this_o antichristian_a and_o babylonish_n form_n of_o ministry_n now_o so_o much_o magnify_v in_o england_n and_o that_o he_o will_v put_v a_o more_o pure_a faithful_a andeffectuall_a ministry_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o his_o saint_n many_o worldly_a and_o carnal_a argument_n they_o urge_v to_o i_o such_o as_o my_o own_o covetous_a and_o deceitsull_n heart_n have_v lay_v hold_n on_o before_o but_o now_o stick_v more_o close_o unto_o be_v press_v again_o by_o friend_n so_o i_o take_v up_o new_a resolution_n and_o do_v return_v again_o to_o the_o army_n to_o that_o which_o i_o have_v late_o vomit_v up_o my_o dogged_a nature_n bark_v at_o the_o approach_n and_o appear_v of_o god_n but_o god_n who_o be_v just_a and_o holy_a in_o all_o his_o way_n pursue_v i_o with_o a_o strong_a wind_n his_o spirit_n wrought_v trouble_v and_o disquiet_v in_o i_o and_o rai_fw-la sed_fw-la a_o continual_a tempest_n in_o and_o round_o about_o i_o all_o the_o while_o i_o lie_v and_o remain_v in_o this_o break_a bark_n and_o split_a ship_n unto_o which_o i_o have_v commit_v myself_o for_o security_n ease_n and_o perfect_a honour_n for_o such_o like_a be_v the_o motive_n of_o my_o return_n and_o entrance_n again_o into_o the_o army_n only_o for_o a_o little_a season_n i_o have_v some_o calm_n in_o my_o spirit_n when_o the_o army_n be_v march_v to_o london_n with_o engage_v resolution_n to_o follow_v truth_n and_o righteousness_n and_o to_o oppose_v oppression_n cruelty_n violence_n corruption_n and_o injustice_n among_o man_n in_o the_o earth_n though_o of_o place_n power_n and_o abuse_a authority_n herein_o i_o be_v carry_v with_o all_o freedom_n peace_n clearness_n and_o cheerfulesse_a of_o spirit_n but_o when_o man_n begin_v to_o neglect_v their_o under_o take_n to_o falsify_v their_o vow_n to_o turn_v aside_o and_o corrupt_v their_o way_n before_o the_o lord_n i_o be_v at_o a_o stand_n but_o my_o dull_a and_o dark_a heart_n can_v not_o see_v the_o end_n of_o the_o lord_n till_o he_o send_v a_o voice_n into_o the_o wilderness_n and_o after_o that_o a_o vision_n into_o his_o temple_n then_o i_o discern_v the_o way_n of_o the_o almighty_a while_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n as_o in_o a_o wilderness_n the_o voice_n cry_v by_o mr_n sedgwick_n and_o mr_n saltmarsh_n forsake_v forsake_v and_o come_v out_o of_o these_o crooked_a and_o carnal_a way_n and_o path_n and_o come_v into_o more_o strict_a and_o spiritual_a course_n and_o enjoyment_n i_o hear_v the_o sound_n of_o word_n as_o of_o a_o mighty_a rush_a wind_n but_o can_v not_o tell_v whence_o it_o come_v i_o do_v not_o clear_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n but_o think_v it_o have_v be_v the_o strong_a working_n of_o their_o own_o melancholy_a and_o private_a fancy_n nor_o can_v i_o tell_v whether_o it_o will_v go_v i_o do_v not_o know_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v breathe_v into_o my_o heart_n the_o same_o or_o the_o like_a evidence_n which_o be_v give_v to_o they_o nor_o do_v he_o as_o yet_o but_o after_o this_o wind_n come_v a_o earthquake_n which_o shake_v my_o earthly_a carnal_a and_o worldly_a frame_n the_o opposition_n dispute_n and_o reason_n of_o my_o earthly_a heart_n begin_v to_o be_v move_v objection_n come_v in_o amain_o and_o my_o distraction_n increase_v sometime_o the_o flesh_n and_o satan_n together_o will_v put_v i_o forward_o with_o motive_n of_o pride_n vainglory_n singularity_n popular_a applause_n get_v a_o name_n become_v famous_a eminent_a and_o be_v take_v notice_n of_o as_o mr._n sedgwick_n mr._n saltmarsh_n be_v and_o why_o sbould_z not_o i_o say_v something_o as_o well_o as_o they_o by_o and_o by_o i_o be_v discourage_v upon_o the_o same_o ground_n and_o thus_o the_o temptation_n wrought_v why_o shall_v i_o so_o play_v the_o hypocrite_n and_o seek_v the_o the_o praise_n of_o man_n and_o thus_o i_o be_v torture_v between_o two_o and_o lay_v in_o a_o tremble_a condition_n the_o two_o seed_n the_o two_o nation_n flesh_n and_o spirit_n strive_v in_o the_o womb_n of_o my_o heart_n together_o fleshly_a fear_n and_o discouragement_n fleshly_a pride_n and_o boldness_n strive_v which_o shall_v come_v forth_o first_o seed_n fleshly_a fear_n discouragement_n pride_n and_o boldness_n one_o seed_n the_o spirit_n the_o other_o seed_n but_o before_o either_o can_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n the_o the_o spirit_n catch_v it_o by_o the_o heel_n and_o make_v it_o halt_v that_o it_o can_v not_o rise_v to_o its_o height_n nor_o run_v to_o its_o end_n this_o earthquake_n within_o i_o remove_v i_o from_o london_n decemb._n 11._o 1647._o i_o can_v not_o rest_v till_o i_o go_v to_o windsor_n to_o ease_v my_o thought_n before_o the_o general_n and_o some_o other_o decemb._n 13._o i_o come_v thither_o my_o objection_n and_o confusion_n follow_v i_o and_o lie_v sore_o upon_o i_o the_o next_o day_n i_o press_v into_o the_o general_n counsel_n of_o war_n where_o i_o be_v torment_v between_o fear_n and_o boldness_n my_o time_n be_v then_o fain_o i_o will_v have_v speak_v and_o be_v almost_o angry_a with_o god_n because_o he_o will_v nor_o suffer_v i_o but_o the_o lord_n time_n be_v not_o yet_o and_o a_o answer_n be_v give_v into_o i_o that_o the_o commissioner_n o_o parliament_n be_v there_o to_o who_o i_o haf_v no_o word_n from_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v not_o seasonable_a when_o i_o be_v thus_o silence_v a_o fire_n follow_v the_o earthquake_n and_o enter_v into_o my_o bone_n and_o bowel_n for_o that_o a_o occasion_n be_v offer_v by_o l._n g._n cromwell_n see_v i_o there_o and_o come_v to_o i_o with_o much_o courtesy_n and_o respect_n i_o speak_v a_o few_o word_n unto_o he_o but_o not_o to_o his_o satisfaction_n nor_o i_o because_o of_o the_o present_a business_n of_o the_o council_n interrupt_v this_o fire_n or_o new_a wine_n of_o the_o lord_n wrought_v in_o my_o body_n beyond_o the_o usual_a and_o accustom_a manner_n and_o measure_n after_o my_o travel_n and_o change_v of_o air_n still_o i_o endeavour_v to_o disbur_fw-la then_o my_o thought_n to_o the_o general_n or_o some_o other_o of_o the_o army_n but_o i_o find_v no_o convenient_a opportunity_n for_o that_o end_n for_o the_o lord_n be_v not_o in_o the_o wind_n earthquake_n or_o fire_n so_o as_o to_o bring_v forth_o what_o he_o have_v form_v in_o i_o i_o think_v that_o be_v not_o the_o time_n nor_o place_n nor_o way_n wherein_o god_n will_v speak_v by_o i_o and_o therefore_o resolve_v to_o return_v to_o london_n and_o send_v my_o mind_n in_o write_v to_o the_o army_n as_o i_o be_v resolve_v thus_o to_o do_v a_o small_a still_o voice_n and_o but_o small_a and_o very_a still_o come_v unto_o i_o set_v i_o upon_o my_o leg_n compose_v my_o spirit_n silence_v all_o my_o carnal_a reason_n and_o dispute_n make_v i_o sir_n down_o in_o quiet_a assurance_n and_o confident_a expectation_n from_o the_o lord_n bid_v i_o go_v yet_o again_o to_o the_o general_n and_o tell_v i_o 18._o dec._n 18._o he_o will_v be_v with_o i_o so_o i_o go_v in_o a_o dark_a misty_a morning_n and_o as_o iwas_fw-mi go_v it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v speak_v unto_o they_o in_o a_o day_n like_o their_o condition_n full_a of_o cloud_n and_o darkness_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o general_n quarter_n i_o find_v he_o in_o the_o orchard_n alone_o with_o all_o reverence_n and_o respect_n i_o address_v myself_o unto_o he_o though_o it_o be_v report_v that_o i_o never_o put_v off_o my_o hat_n nor_o give_v he_o any_o honour_n at_o all_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v a_o message_n to_o he_o and_o must_v entreat_v his_o patience_n to_o hear_v it_o hedesired_a i_o to_o walk_v into_o the_o house_n
and_o say_v he_o will_v come_v present_o and_o nothing_o sbould_z interrupt_v his_o hear_n of_o what_o i_o have_v to_o say_v when_o he_o come_v in_o i_o apply_v myself_o to_o his_o excellency_n and_o after_o some_o digression_n cause_v by_o the_o scout-master_n i_o speak_v more_o particular_o to_o this_o effect_n unto_o he_o sir_n you_o be_v like_a ephraim_n oppress_v and_o break_v in_o judgement_n you_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v your_o understanding_n be_v lose_v your_o counsel_n and_o wisdom_n blast_v you_o know_v not_o how_o to_o manage_v or_o dispose_v your_o army_n as_o former_o you_o have_v do_v all_o which_o the_o general_n confess_v thus_o say_v i_o you_o be_v at_o a_o laugh_v every_o way_n and_o all_o because_o like_v ephraim_n you_o have_v willinglyfollowed_a after_o the_o command_n of_o man_n and_o not_o of_o god_n then_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o particular_a account_n of_o his_o principle_n and_o action_n in_o reference_n to_o the_o war_n from_o his_o first_o take_v up_o of_o arm_n unto_o that_o day_n the_o parliament_n he_o say_v be_v his_o mother_n and_o put_v the_o sword_n into_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o never_o take_v up_o to_o pull_v down_o authority_n but_o to_o relieve_v the_o oppress_a i_o reply_v true_a sir_n the_o parliament_n be_v your_o mother_n that_o bring_v you_o forth_o and_o give_v you_o life_n and_o power_n to_o act_v in_o the_o way_n yond_o have_v do_v it_o put_v the_o sword_n into_o your_o hand_n to_o suppress_v the_o violence_n of_o the_o oppressor_n yea_o the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v with_o you_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n of_o war_n he_o guide_v your_o connrell_n and_o strengthen_v your_o hand_n he_o cover_v your_o head_n and_o keep_v you_o in_o the_o day_n of_o battle_n go_v before_o you_o and_o chase_v your_o enemy_n he_o give_v you_o success_n and_o victory_n prosper_v your_o design_n and_o do_v great_a and_o wouderfull_a thing_n by_o you_o but_o your_o mother_n the_o parliament_n become_v unjust_a corrupt_a and_o oppress_v the_o lord_n bid_v you_o plead_v with_o this_o your_o mother_n as_o a_o harlot_n and_o a_o wife_n of_o whoredom_n you_o do_v so_o and_o do_v well_o in_o so_o do_v you_o refuse_v to_o disband_v you_o engage_v with_o the_o army_n ro_o do_v justice_n to_o relieve_v the_o oppress_v 2.2_o hos_fw-la 2.2_o to_o purge_v the_o house_n etc._n etc._n you_o come_v to_o london_n with_o that_o resolution_n but_o have_v neglect_v to_o do_v what_o you_o promise_v and_o now_o the_o kingdom_n cry_v and_o groan_n under_o your_o neglect_n as_o much_o as_o under_o the_o former_a oppression_n god_n have_v persuade_v i_o that_o you_o will_v bear_v with_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v with_o all_o freedom_n and_o plainness_n speak_v unto_o your_o excellency_n what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n sir_n you_o have_v commit_v great_a adultery_n and_o defile_v yourself_o with_o much_o uncleanness_n you_o climb_v up_o into_o the_o bed_n of_o a_o strumpet_n a_o whore_n and_o a_o adusterous_a woman_n for_o now_o the_o commissioner_n of_o parliament_n be_v here_o you_o join_v and_o mix_v your_o counsel_n with_o they_o and_o will_v do_v nothing_o without_o they_o though_o they_o remain_v in_o the_o state_n they_o be_v when_o you_o first_o plead_v against_o they_o only_o the_o eleven_o member_n be_v withdraw_v and_o yet_o you_o think_v to_o settle_v this_o nation_n in_o peace_n and_o qivetnesse_n but_o what_o peace_n so_o long_o as_o the_o witchcraft_n and_o whordom_n be_v so_o many_o no_o god_n will_v weaken_v your_o hand_n and_o wither_v your_o hope_n yond_o shall_v not_o prosper_v as_o you_o have_v do_v because_o you_o have_v forsake_v the_o rock_n of_o israel_n the_o neglect_n of_o their_o undertake_n the_o general_n do_v for_o the_o most_o part_n confess_v but_o something_n he_o excuse_v moreover_o concern_v the_o army_n i_o say_v the_o whole_a army_n be_v like_a unto_o a_o island_n of_o willow_n confusion_n and_o distraction_n compass_v it_o about_o like_a water_n they_o nor_o you_o have_v not_o any_o bridge_n or_o boat_n to_o get_v out_o you_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v or_o go_v for_o safety_n your_o own_o counsel_n and_o policy_n your_o carnal_a reason_n and_o wisdom_n in_o which_o you_o now_o act_v so_o much_o some_o sudden_a flash_n of_o repentance_n and_o reformation_n all_o these_o and_o the_o like_a give_v you_o up_o and_o bind_v you_o till_o the_o enemy_n have_v put_v out_o vour_z eye_n bring_v you_o to_o his_o mill_n and_o make_v sport_n with_o you_o other_o thing_n fall_v in_o to_o discourse_n as_o touch_v mr._n sedgwick_n mr._n saltmarsh_n and_o the_o agitator_n which_o i_o shall_v omit_v these_o thing_n be_v so_o fasten_v and_o lie_v so_o sore_o on_o my_o spirit_n two_o or_o three_o day_n before_o i_o speak_v to_o the_o general_n that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n shake_v they_o off_o till_o i_o have_v cast_v they_o at_o his_o sit_fw-mi no_o soon_o have_v i_o deliver_v my_o message_n but_o my_o bowel_n be_v settle_v and_o the_o whole_a frame_n of_o my_o body_n reduce_v to_o a_o good_a temper_n again_o the_o general_n give_v ear_n to_o all_o that_o i_o say_v with_o much_o candour_n and_o clemency_n take_v all_o in_o good_a part_n and_o as_o asterwards_o also_o by_o mr._n peter_n give_v i_o thanks_o for_o my_o plain_a deal_n as_o he_o call_v it_o so_o i_o bow_v before_o he_o and_o take_v my_o leave_n the_o next_o day_n mr_n peter_n be_v to_o preach_v in_o the_o morning_n and_o i_o in_o the_o afternoon_n hard_a censure_n and_o conclusion_n be_v put_v upon_o my_o sermon_n by_o some_o from_o who_o a_o little_a before_o i_o have_v receive_v thanks_o for_o it_o but_o the_o lord_n show_v i_o so_o plain_o from_o what_o spirit_n it_o proceed_v in_o they_o that_o i_o have_v no_o cause_n at_o all_o of_o repentance_n for_o any_o thing_n i_o have_v say_v and_o if_o there_o have_v be_v any_o that_o have_v take_v my_o sermon_n of_o who_o i_o may_v have_v have_v the_o note_n i_o will_v have_v publish_v it_o with_o this_o relation_n for_o all_o to_o judge_v my_o business_n be_v now_o end_v i_o be_v snatch_v from_o thence_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n decemb._n 21._o and_o carry_v on_o my_o way_n rejoice_v that_o night_n i_o come_v to_o sir_n thomas_n eveling_n in_o surrey_n early_o in_o the_o morning_n before_o day_n decemb._n 23._o as_o i_o be_v lie_v in_o my_o bed_n major_a axel_n lie_v a_o sleep_n by_o i_o my_o sleep_n break_v from_o i_o and_o the_o lord_n suffer_v satan_n to_o tempt_v i_o i_o be_v fearful_a at_o first_o to_o open_v my_o eye_n lest_o i_o shall_v see_v some_o ghastly_a and_o ugly_a sight_n to_o amaze_v i_o but_o it_o be_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v see_v nothing_o to_o affright_v so_o be_v the_o lord_n gracious_o please_v to_o indulge_v my_o weakness_n be_v strengthen_v and_o encourage_v thus_o from_o on_o high_a i_o open_v my_o eye_n but_o see_v nothing_o as_o yet_o to_o astonish_v i_o the_o tempter_n come_v upon_o i_o with_o much_o eagerness_n and_o violence_n take_v hold_v of_o both_o my_o arm_n spread_v they_o abroad_o hold_v i_o down_o and_o strive_v earnest_o to_o get_v into_o i_o but_o can_v not_o my_o flesh_n at_o first_o be_v somewhat_o afraid_a but_o no_o soon_o do_v fear_v arise_v but_o instant_o the_o lord_n appear_v in_o i_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o my_o body_n ten_o thousand_o time_n bright_a than_o the_o sun_n and_o speak_v in_o i_o so_o plain_o that_o 100000_o witness_n can_v make_v it_o so_o sure_a unto_o i_o that_o it_o be_v he_o that_o speak_v unto_o i_o as_o his_o own_o voice_n do_v which_o say_v strong_a be_o i_o within_o then_o he_o that_o be_v without_o thou_o and_o withal_o throw_v off_o the_o tempter_n as_o a_o very_a weak_a thing_n as_o little_a &_o as_o light_a as_o a_o feather_n present_o after_o he_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o i_o but_o stand_v at_o a_o distance_n and_o dare_v not_o come_v near_o i_o for_o the_o lord_n yet_o stay_v with_o i_o and_o in_o i_o and_o i_o plain_o perceive_v that_o he_o be_v afraid_a of_o the_o glorious_a power_n and_o majesty_n which_o be_v my_o breastplate_n and_o bulwark_n yet_o he_o stand_v vaunt_v &_o vapor_v &_o breathe_v out_o high_a threaten_n against_o i_o he_o upbraid_v i_o with_o singularity_n and_o vain_a glory_n and_o charge_v i_o that_o what_o i_o have_v do_v at_o the_o headquarters_n i_o have_v do_v altogether_o in_o hypocrisy_n upon_o the_o accusation_n my_o flesh_n contract_v some_o guilt_n for_o as_o i_o tell_v you_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o my_o heart_n do_v much_o to_o put_v i_o on_o and_o pull_v i_o back_o before_o i_o go_v and_o yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o with_o integrity_n and_o singleness_n
9.14.15_o must_v they_o therefore_o fast_o and_o weep_v and_o mourn_v when_o he_o be_v present_a 5._o day_n of_o humiliation_n be_v ordain_v by_o man_n now_o and_o observe_v by_o such_o as_o be_v subject_a to_o man_n in_o the_o manner_n notion_n and_o nature_n that_o they_o be_v enjoin_v man_n may_v commend_v the_o observation_n of_o day_n they_o can_v command_v the_o sanctification_n of_o they_o they_o may_v propose_v the_o form_n and_o time_n of_o fast_v they_o can_v dispose_v the_o frame_n and_o affection_n of_o the_o heart_n it_o may_v be_v seasonable_a for_o one_o man_n to_o pray_v when_o it_o be_v more_o suitable_a for_o another_o to_o be_v sing_v of_o psalm_n nationall_n communion_n seldom_o or_o never_o have_v its_o union_n in_o the_o spirit_n if_o principalitye_n or_o power_n can_v separate_v we_o form_v the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n 8.38_o ro._n 8.38_o if_o ruler_n and_o magistrate_n of_o this_o present_a world_n can_v estrange_v or_o take_v away_o the_o bridegroom_n from_o the_o saint_n they_o can_v impose_v upon_o they_o the_o bewail_v of_o his_o absence_n civil_a power_n may_v command_v the_o corpse_n they_o be_v not_o captain_n of_o the_o conscience_n i_o hear_v what_o will_v be_v object_v do_v not_o the_o jew_n say_v some_o observe_v those_o day_n and_o time_n which_o be_v appoint_v for_o fast_v ob._n ob._n feast_v etc._n etc._n and_o enjoin_v by_o their_o king_n and_o civil_a magistrate_n who_o be_v but_o man_n 1._o they_o do_v so_o so_o may_v the_o jew_n do_v still_o let_v those_o that_o be_v under_o the_o dispensation_n of_o the_o old_a testament_n walk_v in_o it_o if_o the_o civil_a magistrate_n make_v decree_n and_o send_v forth_o his_o edict_n let_v they_o be_v obey_v by_o those_o that_o be_v bind_v by_o conscience_n thereunto_o but_o let_v not_o conscience_n be_v bind_v or_o enforce_v by_o they_o the_o outward_a jew_n have_v no_o king_n but_o caesar_n the_o inward_a none_o but_o christ_n let_v both_o these_o exercise_n their_o respective_a power_n and_o jurisdiction_n and_o all_o strife_n will_v cease_v 2._o the_o whole_a paedagogye_n and_o policy_n of_o the_o jew_n people_n and_o all_o be_v a_o external_a and_o typical_a ceremony_n which_o yet_o have_v in_o they_o and_o contain_v a_o internal_a and_o antitypicall_a equity_n and_o morality_n the_o law_n in_o the_o letter_n be_v by_o moses_n the_o law_n in_o the_o spirit_n be_v in_o christ_n the_o child_n of_o israel_n will_v needs_o have_v a_o king_n over_o they_o like_o other_o nation_n who_o king_n exercise_v lordship_n over_o they_o and_o be_v call_v benefactor_n the_o the_o child_n also_o of_o israel_n in_o the_o spirit_n have_v christ_n their_o king_n over_o they_o the_o government_n be_v upon_o his_o shoulder_n he_o reign_v over_o the_o house_n of_o jacob_n he_o exercise_v lordship_n over_o the_o conscience_n yet_o so_o as_o that_o he_o may_v well_o be_v call_v a_o benefactor_n he_o break_v the_o earthen_a form_n custom_n principle_n religion_n worship_n etc._n etc._n in_o piece_n with_o his_o iron_n rod_n of_o the_o spirit_n like_o a_o potter_n vessel_n but_o withal_o do_v erect_v and_o set_v up_o such_o a_o divine_a and_o spiritual_a discipline_n that_o he_o may_v well_o be_v call_v a_o gracious_a lord_n because_o of_o the_o word_n of_o truth_n meekness_n and_o righteousness_n the_o sceptre_n of_o grace_n mercy_n and_o love_n with_o which_o he_o rule_v and_o the_o terrible_a thing_n which_o his_o right_a hand_n do_v in_o shoot_v his_o sharp_a arrow_n into_o the_o heart_n of_o his_o enemy_n 45._o psal_n 45._o lust_n sin_n flesh_n and_o corruption_n he_o it_o be_v that_o can_v kill_v and_o cure_v destroy_v and_o make_v alive_a confound_v and_o comfort_v make_v sad_a or_o rejoice_v command_v a_o feast_n or_o fast_o it_o be_v no_o good_a way_n of_o argue_v to_o make_v up_o the_o conclusion_n of_o one_o science_n from_o the_o principle_n and_o proemise_n of_o another_o genus_fw-la transitus_fw-la a_o genere_fw-la ad_fw-la genus_fw-la that_o which_o be_v do_v under_o the_o law_n and_o in_o a_o type_n or_o ceremony_n will_v not_o hold_v under_o the_o gospel_n in_o the_o verbal_a and_o literal_a sense_n of_o it_o what_o thing_n the_o law_n say_v it_o say_v to_o they_o that_o be_v under_o it_o and_o what_o thing_n the_o spirit_n say_v it_o say_v to_o they_o that_o that_o be_v lead_v by_o it_o but_o we_o be_v command_v by_o the_o apostle_n rom._n 12.15_o to_o weep_v with_o those_o that_o weep_v and_o to_o mourn_v with_o those_o that_o mourn_v even_o now_o under_o the_o new_a testament_n be_v not_o this_o present_a fast_o enjoin_v for_o ireland_n sad_a conditition_n who_o misery_n yet_o continue_v it_o be_v all_o confess_v and_o grant_v but_o do_v that_o imply_v a_o constant_a and_o continue_a observation_n of_o a_o set_n and_o fix_a time_n sol._n sol._n be_v any_o man_n sure_a to_o have_v his_o heart_n in_o a_o fit_a and_o suitable_a temper_n for_o fast_v against_o the_o last_o wednesday_n in_o every_o month_n be_v not_o the_o preparation_n of_o the_o heart_n and_o answer_v of_o the_o tongue_n whole_o from_o the_o lord_n 16.1_o pro._n 16.1_o god_n may_v dispose_v one_o man_n for_o sing_v at_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n of_o time_n that_o another_o be_v stir_v up_o to_o prayer_n if_o the_o lord_n give_v a_o cheerful_a heart_n to_o offer_v up_o praise_n and_o thanksgiving_n will_v it_o be_v convenient_a at_o that_o time_n to_o sacrifice_v the_o oblation_n of_o a_o dull_a and_o pensive_a spirit_n receive_v from_o the_o injunction_n of_o man_n he_o that_o have_v his_o heart_n dispose_v to_o mourn_v let_v he_o mourn_v who_o do_v forbid_v he_o and_o he_o that_o have_v his_o spirit_n draw_v forth_o to_o rejoice_v let_v he_o rejoice_v who_o ought_v to_o hinder_v or_o judge_v he_o one_o man_n may_v have_v his_o heart_n in_o a_o frame_n fit_a to_o keep_v the_o monthly_a fast_o another_o man_n may_v be_v more_o fit_a to_o fast_o at_o another_o time_n yet_o this_o man_n may_v true_o 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triumph_v i_o shall_v now_o let_v fall_v the_o discourse_n and_o leave_v it_o before_o the_o judge_n in_o all_o that_o i_o have_v here_o set_v down_o the_o most_o high_a god_n my_o conscience_n and_o you_o can_v bear_v i_o witness_v that_o in_o nothing_o you_o be_v wrong_v by_o i_o your_o name_n be_v prefix_v to_o nothing_o but_o what_o for_o matter_n and_o substance_n be_v speak_v and_o assert_v by_o you_o when_o you_o justify_v your_o charge_n and_o carriage_n and_o maintain_v and_o defend_v your_o slanderous_a report_n and_o defamation_n of_o i_o you_o provoke_v i_o to_o a_o sharp_a reply_n and_o to_o tell_v you_o that_o you_o have_v do_v very_o uncivil_o dishonest_o and_o most_o unchristian_o at_o which_o you_o take_v great_a snuff_n but_o let_v other_o judge_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o cause_n i_o tell_v you_o also_o that_o i_o may_v as_o well_o rail_v against_o you_o behind_o your_o back_n as_o you_o have_v do_v by_o i_o but_o that_o i_o scorn_v such_o baseness_n and_o think_v it_o not_o sit_v to_o render_v rail_v for_o rail_v this_o i_o say_v to_o your_o face_n and_o more_o than_o this_o nor_o so_o much_o you_o shall_v never_o prove_v that_o i_o speak_v behind_o your_o back_n nor_o do_v i_o intend_v to_o put_v these_o passage_n and_o proceed_n between_o we_o in_o print_n when_o i_o tell_v you_o at_o our_o part_n that_o i_o resolve_v to_o require_v a_o more_o public_a account_n from_o you_o suppose_v that_o a_o fair_a free_a and_o friendly_a debate_n of_o the_o matter_n among_o some_o friend_n in_o these_o part_n may_v have_v be_v sufficient_a to_o have_v take_v up_o and_o compose_v the_o difference_n but_o when_o i_o hear_v about_o three_o week_n since_o that_o you_o have_v divulge_v and_o blaze_v it_o abroad_o into_o other_o part_n i_o think_v it_o as_o convenient_a just_a and_o reasonable_a for_o i_o to_o make_v the_o vindication_n of_o truth_n as_o public_a as_o you_o have_v make_v the_o imputation_n of_o a_o error_n your_o practice_n in_o this_o kind_n i_o doubt_v have_v be_v a_o bad_a precedent_n to_o other_o for_o two_o or_o three_o parish-preacher_n hereabout_o have_v since_o accuse_v i_o of_o poison_v the_o people_n at_o hener_n with_o error_n &_o false_a doctrine_n wes_n mr._n cr._n of_o br._n mr._n h._n of_o wes_n but_o by_o that_o time_n their_o covetous_a practice_n common_a tipple_a excessive_a game_n etc._n etc._n be_v full_o examine_v and_o lay_v open_a to_o the_o world_n they_o will_v appear_v to_o be_v such_o antinomian_a independent_o such_o independent_a antinomian_o as_o will_n make_v they_o altogether_o incapable_a of_o the_o office_n of_o a_o bishop_n i_o can_v charge_v you_o of_o be_v active_a with_o they_o but_o i_o suspect_v and_o fear_n that_o you_o have_v be_v exemplary_a to_o they_o sir_n before_o i_o take_v my_o leave_n i_o shall_v as_o a_o friend_n suggest_v one_o thing_n unto_o you_o i._n e._n when_o the_o shadow_n of_o the_o first_o adam_n excellency_n be_v so_o big_a and_o long_a upon_o the_o earth_n it_o be_v too_o clear_a a_o sign_n that_o the_o daystar_n be_v very_o low_a and_o little_a in_o the_o horizon_n of_o man_n heart_n the_o second_o adam_n that_o heavenly_a sun_n of_o divine_a righteousness_n christ_n jesus_n be_v decline_v and_o draw_v near_o the_o solstice_n of_o capricorn_n he_o be_v in_o a_o weak_a and_o low_a appearance_n know_v too_o much_o after_o the_o flesh_n when_o the_o glorious_a light_n and_o day_n of_o the_o bless_a and_o eternal_a spirit_n be_v so_o short_a and_o dark_a i_o have_v not_o endeavour_v to_o shame_v you_o but_o to_o sift_v out_o the_o truth_n and_o to_o give_v you_o and_o other_o occasion_n to_o exercise_v your_o thought_n upon_o the_o mystery_n of_o god_n and_o man_n christ_n and_o adam_n when_o your_o meditation_n be_v ripe_a and_o perfect_v let_v public_a profit_n be_v make_v of_o they_o i_o have_v lay_v down_o nothing_o but_o my_o experience_n and_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o see_v as_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o be_v teach_v the_o truth_n in_o he_o i_o have_v no_o more_o to_o say_v to_o you_o or_o any_o man_n else_o but_o si_fw-mi quid_fw-la novisti_fw-la rectius_fw-la istis_fw-la candidus_n imperti_fw-la si_fw-la non_fw-la his_fw-la vtere_fw-la mecum_fw-la finis_fw-la mr._n calvert_n i_o hear_v it_o be_v report_v by_o some_o that_o i_o be_o sad_a melancholic_a sick_a and_o keep_v my_o chamber_n by_o some_o that_o i_o be_o dead_a by_z other_o that_o i_o be_o mad_a and_o out_o of_o my_o wit_n since_o i_o be_v with_o the_o general_n at_o windsor_n this_o as_o i_o be_o inform_v be_v report_v by_o my_o friend_n when_o christ_n begin_v to_o set_v forward_o his_o father_n work_n his_o friend_n think_v he_o be_v beside_o himself_o mar._n 3.21_o and_o when_o paul_n carry_v on_o that_o work_n he_o fall_v under_o the_o same_o censure_n act._n 26.24_o and_o what_o of_o all_o that_o so_o long_o as_o it_o be_v to_o god_n 2_o cor._n 5.13_o i_o bless_v the_o lord_n of_o who_o i_o have_v obtain_v mercy_n and_o from_o who_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o spirit_n of_o power_n of_o love_n and_o of_o a_o sound_a mind_n 2_o tim._n 1.7_o i_o enjoy_v that_o which_o be_v better_o than_o myself_o or_o the_o life_n itself_o which_o make_v i_o to_o scorn_v and_o overlook_v the_o report_n and_o reproach_n of_o man_n here_o it_o be_v say_v of_o i_o as_o of_o other_o heretofore_o that_o i_o be_o a_o pestilent_a fellow_n a_o mover_n of_o sedition_n one_o that_o poyson_v and_o deceive_v the_o people_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_o not_o ashamed_a of_o the_o bless_a and_o glorious_a gospel_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n nor_o afraid_a of_o the_o bond_n of_o the_o gospel_n or_o of_o persecution_n for_o the_o spiritual_a divine_a and_o heavenly_a righteousnesse-sake_n of_o god_n i_o have_v therefore_o send_v you_o these_o few_o sheet_n of_o paper_n desire_v you_o to_o make_v they_o public_a to_o the_o view_n of_o all_o man_n i_o be_o your_o assure_a friend_n henry_n pinnell_n risly_a in_o derbyshire_n octob._n 14._o 1648._o finis_fw-la
great_a height_n some_o in_o every_o age_n of_o the_o world_n strive_v to_o make_v it_o reach_v to_o a_o spiritual_a and_o divine_a nature_n but_o the_o top_n thereof_o never_o yet_o touch_v heaven_n god_n blast_v the_o build_n with_o confusion_n and_o call_v the_o work_n babel_n before_o it_o can_v be_v finish_v 25_o mar._n 12.10_o luk._n 17_o 25_o and_o al1_n because_o man_n will_v build_v with_o brick_n instead_o of_o stone_n the_o foundation_n and_o chief_a corner_n stone_n be_v reject_v of_o the_o bvilder_n jesus_n christ_n in_o the_o spirit_n be_v slight_v as_o a_o mere_a europia_n a_o world_n in_o the_o moon_n a_o chimaera_n a_o castle_n in_o the_o air_n have_v existence_n only_o in_o supposition_n notion_n and_o a_o delude_a fancy_n the_o language_n of_o man_n be_v confound_v one_o call_v for_o presbytery_n and_o a_o multiply_a episcopacy_n be_v bring_v up_o one_o cry_n out_o here_o be_v christ_n another_o loe_o there_o he_o be_v every_o man_n seek_v to_o set_v up_o his_o form_n and_o will_v have_v a_o shrine_n make_v for_o his_o own_o diana_n it_o be_v just_a with_o god_n to_o bring_v those_o down_o and_o leave_v they_o below_o under_o fleshly_a form_n and_o visible_a sensible_a appearance_n who_o like_o peter_n out_o of_o a_o drowsy_a and_o sleepy_a temper_n can_v be_v content_v with_o christ_n alone_o in_o the_o spirit_n and_o that_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o but_o must_v have_v a_o tabernacle_n for_o adam_n also_o when_o he_o apppeare_v like_o moses_n and_o elias_n in_o his_o glory_n i_o foresee_v the_o cavil_n and_o exception_n some_o say_v and_o conclude_v that_o i_o and_o your_o ladyship_n have_v have_v your_o share_n with_o i_o in_o the_o censure_n deny_v all_o set_a order_n and_o establish_a form_n of_o church_n government_n these_o may_v go_v to_o the_o ploughman_n for_o their_o answer_n and_o satisfaction_n he_o will_v tell_v they_o that_o by_o the_o continual_a motion_n of_o his_o cart_n and_o plough_v wheel_n he_o have_v his_o business_n do_v whereas_o if_o they_o stand_v still_o he_o can_v have_v no_o seed_n sow_v no_o crop_n reap_v nor_o any_o profit_n at_o all_o make_v of_o his_o land_n yet_o in_o the_o revolution_n of_o the_o wheel_n no_o speak_v therein_o be_v always_o fix_v either_o upward_a or_o downward_o in_o ezekiel_n vision_n you_o have_v a_o wheel_n in_o a_o wheel_n 1.16_o ez._n 1.16_o a_o internal_a mystery_n in_o a_o external_a appearance_n form_n or_o dispensation_n the_o spirit_n of_o life_n within_o keep_v this_o wheel_n in_o motion_n god_n will_v have_v his_o people_n make_v a_o progress_n he_o will_v carry_v they_o from_o dispensation_n to_o dispensation_n from_o strength_n to_o strength_n and_o never_o let_v they_o stand_v still_o in_o any_o form_n till_o they_o appear_v in_o the_o perfection_n and_o beauty_n of_o the_o spirit_n madam_n i_o know_v you_o be_v remove_v from_o shinar_n to_o zion_n from_o babylon_n the_o city_n of_o man_n to_o bethel_n the_o house_n of_o god_n let_v it_o not_o trouble_v you_o to_o see_v the_o confusion_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n or_o in_o your_o own_o heart_n concern_v the_o first_o adam_n there_o be_v good_a hope_n and_o great_a likelihood_n that_o the_o build_n of_o the_o earthy_a state_n will_v be_v at_o a_o stand_n you_o be_v a_o gainer_n by_o change_v rot_a rag_n for_o rich_a righteous_a and_o royal_a robe_n there_o can_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o mortality_n be_v swallow_v up_o of_o life_n i_o have_v hear_v one_o and_o it_o have_v be_v my_o own_o case_n miserable_o complain_v once_o of_o the_o confusion_n distraction_n and_o division_n of_o heart_n indeed_o the_o babylonish_n yoke_n and_o captivity_n be_v a_o sore_a bondage_n fight_n without_o and_o fear_v within_o trouble_v on_o every_o side_n will_v give_v the_o flesh_n no_o rest_n such_o heavy_a and_o grievous_a pressure_n will_v make_v sad_a and_o amaze_v a_o true_a israelite_n who_o heart_n be_v upright_o before_o the_o lord_n yet_o i_o tell_v you_o not_o long_o since_o 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day_n etc._n see_v 2_o cor._n 4.26_o etc._n etc._n divine_a favour_n be_v not_o of_o such_o shallow_a root_n as_o to_o die_v and_o wither_v a_o way_n in_o the_o time_n of_o the_o creature_n grudge_n murmur_n and_o confusion_n the_o sun_n of_o righteousesse_v be_v not_o turn_v into_o darkness_n but_o give_v light_n and_o shine_v in_o its_o strength_n and_o glory_n to_o the_o celestial_a and_o spiritual_a part_n and_o principle_n when_o by_o reason_n of_o a_o cloudy_a sky_n of_o fleshy_a frailty_n it_o have_v but_o a_o weak_a influence_n upon_o the_o terrene_a and_o sensible_a part_n of_o man_n the_o way_n by_o which_o god_n will_v comfort_v his_o people_n thorough_o be_v by_o consume_v their_o suppose_a comfort_n and_o wither_v their_o carnal_a confidence_n see_v es_fw-ge 40.1_o etc._n etc._n to_o verse_n 11._o god_n will_v have_v his_o people_n comfort_v and_o the_o voice_n be_v to_o cry_v all_o flesh_n be_v grass_n etc._n etc._n 11.7_o 1_o cor._n 11.7_o adam_n be_v as_o the_o green_a 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base_a parasitical_a insinuation_n into_o your_o near_a relation_n bear_v more_o sway_n in_o the_o family_n than_o yourself_o if_o a_o proud_a saucy_a malupert_a intruder_n shall_v dip_v his_o hand_n in_o the_o dish_n before_o you_o it_o this_o you_o have_v see_v and_o have_v patience_n and_o bear_v it_o and_o most_o uncivil_o snatch_v the_o meat_n from_o you_o sleight_n scorn_v and_o jeer_v you_o to_o your_o face_n at_o table_n will_v it_o not_o trouble_v you_o and_o undervalue_v your_o father_n love_n if_o you_o must_v make_v way_n to_o he_o by_o a_o base_a beggarly_a upstart_a fellow_n who_o like_o a_o stage-player_n have_v but_o late_o put_v off_o the_o rag_n of_o a_o slave_n now_o appear_v in_o the_o habit_n of_o a_o master_n i_o come_v not_o madam_n sneak_v under_o your_o father_n roof_n to_o shark_n and_o slocke_n away_o your_o treasure_n and_o jewel_n but_o to_o warn_v your_o ladyship_n of_o those_o thief_n and_o cheater_n which_o lie_v in_o wait_n to_o steal_v and_o rob_v you_o of_o these_o heavenly_a treasure_n joy_n peace_n comfort_n and_o a_o quiet_a spirit_n create_a excellencye_n and_o glory_n the_o the_o fair_a show_n and_o specious_a form_n of_o the_o flesh_n be_v but_o stranger_n and_o foreigner_n to_o the_o new_a jerusalem_n above_o servant_n only_o in_o jerusalem_n below_o keep_v your_o heart_n with_o all_o diligence_n these_o else_o will_v slink_v into_o it_o flatter_v your_o fancy_n deceive_v your_o understanding_n delude_v your_o judgement_n work_n upon_o your_o will_n cheat_v your_o affection_n and_o keep_v under_o the_o high-born_a heir_n of_o heaven_n jesus_n christ_n the_o king_n of_o righteousness_n and_o prince_n of_o peace_n shall_v be_v in_o low_a esteenie_n it_o once_o these_o get_v too_o much_o favour_n this_o prince_n must_v walk_v like_o a_o servant_n on_o earth_n attend_v and_o wait_v upon_o the_o necessity_n want_n fault_n frailty_n and_o serve_v the_o sinful_a righteousness_n of_o man_n so_o long_o peccata_fw-la splendida_fw-la peccata_fw-la till_o he_o be_v weary_v with_o his_o iniquity_n es_fw-ge 43.24_o i_o do_v not_o prostrate_v this_o small_a present_n to_o your_o ladyship_n for_o patronage_n but_o peruse_v all_o and_o though_o it_o come_v to_o your_o hand_n without_o former_a acquaintance_n yet_o i_o believe_v not_o without_o a_o candid_a acceptance_n one_o part_n concern_v you_o little_a by_o the_o other_o you_o may_v get_v something_o i_o must_v not_o live_v long_o with_o you_o this_o may_v be_v a_o testimony_n of_o my_o respect_n when_o i_o be_o go_v from_o you_o i_o come_v not_o to_o you_o to_o make_v my_o abode_n with_o you_o but_o to_o put_v you_o in_o remembrance_n of_o your_o depart_n from_o yourself_o your_o own_o self_n be_v the_o last_o cottage_n you_o live_v in_o here_o and_o that_o but_o a_o poor_a mean_a earthy_a one_o neither_o when_o this_o be_v dissolve_v and_o like_o a_o shepherd_n tent_n removed_z your_o soul_n rake_n possession_n of_o a_o heavenly_a mansion_n when_o 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perfection_n excellency_n joy_n satisfaction_n etc._n etc._n but_o he_o that_o only_o lap_v and_o away_o he_o have_v that_o midianisish_a man_n that_o enemy_n self_n that_o carnal_a mind_n which_o be_v enmity_n against_o god_n he_o it_o be_v i_o say_v nilum_n canis_fw-la ad_fw-la nilum_n that_o have_v all_o enemy_n deliver_v in_o to_o his_o hand_n and_o subdue_v under_o his_o foot_n and_o yet_o how_o many_o forsake_v their_o foot_n their_o walk_n in_o christ_n jesus_n the_o lord_n and_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o gospel_n kneel_v upon_o the_o ground_n of_o the_o earthy_a adam_n under_o pretence_n of_o devorion_n and_o divine_a worship_n to_o god_n gideon_n soldier_n be_v to_o be_v prove_v at_o the_o wawater_n judg._n 7.4_o 5._o and_o israel_n provoke_v god_n at_o the_o water_n psal_n 106.32_o your_o trial_n also_o be_v like_a to_o be_v at_o the_o water_n of_o the_o first_o adam_n out_o of_o who_o all_o humane_a glory_n and_o perfection_n as_o ail_v thing_n at_o the_o beginning_n be_v bring_v out_o of_o those_o water_n gen._n 1.2_o etc._n etc._n be_v produce_v form_v and_o as_o it_o be_v create_v though_o christ_n like_o gideon_n bring_v you_o to_o the_o perfection_n and_o further_o than_o that_o of_o the_o natural_a and_o create_a state_n it_o be_v nor_o that_o you_o shall_v lie_v down_o and_o live_v in_o it_o but_o rather_o lap_n at_o it_o &_o leave_v it_o cleanse_v not_o your_o soul_n with_o water_n only_o but_o bathe_v it_o in_o that_o open_a fountain_n of_o water_n and_o blood_n zech._n 13.1_o 1_o io._n 5.6_o this_o like_o the_o river_n brecos_n will_v turn_v black_a into_o white_a 1.18_o es_fw-ge 1.18_o scarlet_a and_o crimson_a into_o the_o likeness_n of_o wool_n and_o snow_n this_o be_v the_o jordan_n in_o israel_n 9.7_o joh._n 9.7_o where_o leprosye_n be_v cleanse_v the_o pool_n of_o siloam_n or_o send_v i._n e_o whither_o you_o be_v send_v that_o restore_v to_o spiritual_a sight_n from_o natural_a blindness_n 3.18_o rev._n 3.18_o the_o gold_n i_o present_v your_o ladyship_n with_o may_v happy_o be_v soil_v a_o little_a on_o the_o outside_n by_o the_o earthen_a vessel_n it_o be_v bring_v in_o a_o experimental_a construction_n &_o a_o spiritual_a interpretation_n will_v make_v it_o bright_a &_o glister_a i_o know_v no_o other_o treasure_n that_o will_v enrich_v your_o heart_n nor_o be_v there_o any_o thing_n else_o worth_a your_o acceptance_n from_o the_o hand_n of_o he_o who_o heart_n do_v &_o ever_o will_v exceed_o rejoice_v in_o the_o prosperity_n and_o stability_n of_o your_o foul_a what_o be_v say_v to_o the_o general_n at_o windsor_n as_o it_o be_v write_v in_o a_o letter_n short_o after_o it_o be_v speak_v brother_n in_o my_o last_o by_o h._n w._n the_o carrier_n i_o intimate_v somewhat_o to_o you_o concern_v my_o present_a condition_n which_o if_o you_o shall_v hear_v of_o by_o other_o may_v happy_o be_v misreported_n unto_o you_o and_o raise_v some_o jealousy_n and_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n in_o you_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o friend_n therefore_o that_o you_o may_v know_v the_o certainty_n of_o my_o state_n i_o do_v with_o my_o own_o hand_n write_v unto_o yond_o and_o shall_v true_o inform_v you_o of_o thing_n more_o particular_o of_o such_o as_o respect_v my_o relation_n to_o rhe_n army_n when_o i_o lie_v at_o autrie_n in_o devonshire_n the_o lord_n begin_v to_o confound_v my_o thought_n concern_v the_o present_a war_n my_o spirit_n be_v much_o take_v off_o from_o follow_v that_o course_n any_o long_o as_o a_o way_n that_o god_n seem_v to_o have_v leave_v and_o therefore_o shall_v wither_v and_o die_v but_o he_o will_v set_v up_o his_o kingdom_n and_o bring_v forth_o his_o own_o glory_n and_o his_o people_n safety_n another_o way_n strong_a reason_n there_o be_v pro_n and_o con_n and_o many_o dispute_n in_o my_o heart_n whether_o to_o leave_v the_o army_n then_o or_o no_o during_o which_o conflict_n in_o myself_o my_o colonel_n mr_n john_n pickering_n fall_v sick_a and_o die_v by_o his_o death_n the_o lord_n seem_v to_o satisfy_v i_o and_o to_o put_v a_o end_n to_o all_o my_o inquiry_n i_o think_v that_o it_o be_v his_o mind_n and_o will_n that_o i_o shall_v abide_v no_o long_o in_o that_o way_n with_o this_o i_o sit_v down_o well_o content_v for_o a_o time_n decemb._n 16._o i_o bury_v my_o col_n at_o lyme_n without_o any_o customary_a ceremony_n at_o all_o and_o the_o next_o day_n depart_v with_o a_o resolution_n not_o to_o return_v again_o to_o exercise_v or_o to_o be_v consider_v in_o the_o notion_n of_o a_o chaplain_n to_o the_o regiment_n any_o more_o of_o which_o resolution_n i_o private_o acquaint_v one_o or_o two_o of_o my_o friend_n but_o do_v not_o public_o take_v my_o leave_n of_o the_o regiment_n for_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o quite_o take_v off_o from_o those_o worldly_a advantage_n which_o come_v in_o that_o