blinded eyes I grieve to see their destruction draw neere and they laugh at my grieving and at the oldnesse and alteration which griefe hath brought upon mee And was it not so with my Saviour Christ which made the Iewes say thou art not yet fifty yeares old as though he looked like one neere fifty when hee was indeed not much above thirty But seeing with all my sighing and grieving I cannot reclaim them I here disclaime them Verse 8 Depart from mee all ye workers of iniquitie Away from mee all yee that are Wolves in sheepes cloathing I put not away poore penitent sinners that do pennance for their sins as I have done and may rather bee said to suffer sinne then to doe it as being more of infirmity then of will I put away them that make iniquitie their work and thinke it a pennance when they bee not committing of sinne Them that are journeymen to the trade or rather Masters in the mysterie Them that vilifie my sighes and say they are but sutors In forma pauperis and therefore that God scornes them that reproach my teares and say they are but dumbe solicitors and therefore God cannot heare them but see how much they are deceived For now contrary to their hopes and more to their wishes The Lord hath heard the voice of my teares hath heard it and therfore does not scorn it the voice of my teares and therefore my teares are not dumbe and where all other voices may bee doubted whether God will heare them or no the voice of teares hath Gods eare I may say at command at least is never denied accesse unto his hearing And this is but my first and lowest degree of comfort for a higher then this Verse 9 Hee hath heard my request But what hath God no Masters of Request about him but is Master of Requests himselfe Indeed when hee would know the sinnes of Sodome hee tooke not information from the Angels but came downe himselfe to see and should he in person see sinnes and not in person heare prayers And to shew himselfe to be his own Master of requests indeed he hath taken my petition into his hands that I cannot now doubt of having my request granted seeing the Prince that must grant it is himselfe the Master of Requests to present it and what is it to receive a supplication into his hands but to receive the suppliant into his favour If hee onely heard the voice of my teares I might doubt lest he thought them but like the teares of Esau and so should slight them Or if hee onely heard my request I might feare lest he thought it but like the request of the mother of Zebedees sonnes and so reject it but now that hee hath taken my supplication into his hands now I may bee sure hee meanes to doe something in it seeing hee never takes any thing in hand which hee brings not to a happy and successefull period against all opposition The voice of my tears brought God to cast his eye upon mee My request brought him to bow his eare unto mee but the taking my supplication into his hand hath brought him to compassionate my estate and seeing his compassion is active and his pitty relieving my teares of sorrow may now bee turned into teares of joy my lamentations into songs of thanks giving The lamentable accent of my language made God first to looke upon mee The pittifull nature of my suite made him next to listen to mee but the justnesse of my cause in hand made him lastly to take my petion into his hand which is in effect to grant it out of hand Indeed God is with no musicke so much delighted as with that of voyces with no voyces so much as with those of teares with no teares so much as with those of the heart and such were mine though sent forth by the eies And now whose eyes would not be moved at so strange a sight to heare eyes speak whose eares would not be moved at so strange a hearing to see tears bee a sutour whose hands would refuse so strange a writing where eies I may say are the Penne teares the Inke and sighes the paper Pardon my curiosity O God in imagining wonders while I meditate of thee in whom are nothing but wonders And what remaines now but that my sorrowes remove their lodging and sojourn with my enemies as they have done with me what remaines but that my sighes bee turned upon mine enemies breasts my teares upon their eyes and that the pit they digged for me they may fall into themselves and that with the violence of falling suddenly As for me I shall live to see mine enemies turne their backs and be ashamed I shall live to see them hide their faces and be confounded but before all and above all I shall live to magnifie thy glorious Name O God who art blessed for ever But is Davids charity come to this to bee turned into cursings and imprecations Indeed no otherwise then God to the Serpent when hee sayd Cursed art thou above all Cattell for when men are growne into that reprobate sense that they are more like to limbes of Sathan then to creatures after the Image of God then it is lawfull in Gods cause to take Gods course and to turne them over to shame and confusion * ⎠* THE TWO AND THIRTIETH PSALME 1BLessed is hee whose iniquitie is forgiven and whose sinne is covered 2 Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputeth not iniquitie and in whose spirit there is no guile 3 When I kept silence my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long 4 for day and night thy hand was heavie upon mee my moysture is turned into the drowth of Summer 5 I acknowledged my sinne unto thee and mine iniquitie have I not hid I said I will confesse my transgressions unto the Lord and thou forgavest the iniquitie of my sinne 6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou maist bee found surely the floods of great waters shall not come nigh unto him 7 Thou art my hiding place Thou shalt preserve mee from trouble Thou shalt compasse mee about with songs of deliverance 8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go I will fixe mine eye upon thee 9 Be ye not as the horse or as the mule which have not understanding whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle lest they come neere unto thee 10 Many sorrowes shall bee to the wicked but hee that trusteth in the Lord Mercy shall compasse him about 11 Be glad in the Lord and reioyce ye righteous and shout for ioy all yee that are upright in heart MEDITATIONS and Disquisitions upon the 32. Psalme BLessednesse was cried in the first Psalme but was there held so deare that few or none have ever been able to go to the price Now in this Psalme it is cried againe and at a low rate
seated in parts more hard or easie to be wrought upon and therefore distempers in the spirits are of al other the easiest to be cured more hard in the humours but in the solid parts hardest of all for then they grow to bee Hectick and such in all account are scarse held curable and seeing of all the solid parts the bones are the most solid and therefore diseases in them the hardest to be cured David had just cause to call to God for helpe and to say Heale mee O God for my bones are troubled If the beames of a house bee unsound and shaken how is it possible the house should stand and as little is it possible that this body of mine should bee saved from ruine if my bones which are the beams of it be out of order and troubled But if the trouble of the bones be so incurable is it not presumption in David to say Heale me O God for my bones are troubled being as if he should say cure me O God for I am past all cure and so tempt God with desiring him to do a worke that is impossible But is it not that David knowes to whom hee speakes hee knowes hee speaks not to Galen or to Hippocrates hee knowes hee speakes not to Aesculapius or to Apollo but hee speakes to him that is a transcendent to all these One to whom not only nothing is impossible but to whom all impossible things are nothing It were indeed an unreasonable request in the eye of Nature but very unreasonable in the eye of Faith seeing Faith indeed is then most reasonable when most it is above all reason which therefore-made Abraham the Father of the faithfull because contrary to hope hee believed in hope that God would make him such a father And indeed most properly then it growes to bee a cure for God when in mans judgement it is growne incurable as Christ would not go to heale Lazarus untill hee was dead and had beene foure daies buried thereby perhaps to prepare beliefe for his owne resurrection seeing it might well bee believed hee could rise himselfe the third day who had raised another after foure daies Never therefore fear my soule to say with David Heale me for my bones are troubled for the time will come when hee shall heale thee not onely when thy bones bee troubled but when they bee mouldred away into dust and powder for even then hee will gather them together againe and make them stand up and serve for beams to this bodie of thine as now they doe But how can the bones bee troubled seeing they have no sense for it is the flesh and the membranes that feele the pain the bones feele none Oh then consider how great my trouble is which strikes a sense of paine into my very parts that are not sensible And now it would bee comfort indeed to have my bones healed if when they were healed I might then bee at quiet but alas what comfort is it now to bee healed of their trouble when Gods chastening hand pursues me still and layes more and greater troubles upon mee continually for though the trouble of the bones bee the height of trouble yet it is but the trouble of the bodie my soule all this while hath beene at quiet Verse 3 but now my soule it selfe is troubled also and so extremly troubled that I feele it and feele it sensibly in all the parts of my soule I feele it in my memory when I remember the grievous sins I have committed I feele it in my understanding when I consider thy glorious Majesty whom I have offended I feele it in my will when I thinke upon the terrour of thy displeasure which I have incurred If the trouble were but in this or that part onely I might yet finde comfort in the other but now that every part of my soule now that all my whole soule is troubled and extremly troubled Alas now I may truly say was ever sorrow like my sorrow was ever trouble like this of mine But can the soule bee troubled is it not a spirituall substance and are not all earthly things too grosse to trouble that which is a spirit They should bee so indeed and they would be so indeed if the soule had her right But alas while wee live here the soule is but an Inmate to the bodie and therefore the body crowes over it as being upon its own dunghill and makes us all of kinne to Martha troubled about many things when but one is needfull And yet these be not the things that trouble the noble soule not the soule of David In matters indeed between the World and us the soule is forced to looke downe upon the earth as upon that which sustaines it and if it finde a want there it findes withall a trouble indeed but a trouble to the body onely or if to the soule but in the bodies behalfe which is not much That which properly troubles the soule is the proper trouble of the soule and is onely in matters betweene God and us and in matters of this nature it lookes up to heaven for there indeed is the soules freehold and if that inheritance bee once questioned then the soule findes it selfe in trouble presently and so extremely troubled that where the trouble of the body is but the bodie of trouble this trouble of the soule is I may say the soule of trouble and is not this inheritance questioned if God fall once to rebuke mee in his anger For seeing the inheritance is but a meere gift proceeding from his favour how can I expect it if I be in his displeasure When I was in my greatest weaknesse yet my bones afforded mee at least some strength and when my bones were troubled yet my soule was able to take care of their curing but now that my soule it selfe is troubled Alas O God who is there but thy selfe onely of whom I can hope for any comfort and therefore O Lord How long How long wilt thou let me lye languishing in my weaknesse How long wilt thou suffer me to struggle with oppression How long wilt thou see the extremity of my misery and not relieve mee Thou indeed inhabitest Eternity and no time to thee is either short or long but I alas am a subject of times and nothing so much tyrannizeth over me as this tyrant time and specially when it joynes with misery for then as a thousand yeares are with thee but as a day so a day with mee is as a thousand yeares Measure me not therefore by thy standard of Eternity but measure mee by the standard of time And then O Lord How long How long shall thy chastening hand lye heavie upon mee How long wilt thou poure upon mee the vialls of thine indignation How long shall my soule bee kept from her true inheritance which is to beare a part in the consort of Angels My soule is a free spirit and is with nothing so much delighted as with liberty with
are upright of heart And may it not bee as well sayd to the wicked Bee glad and showte for joy or rather have they not more cause of rejoycing then the godly The wicked indeed may rejoyce to see their full barnes and their full bags but alas what becomes of their joy when they heare it sayd Stulte hac nocte repetent animam tuam They may rejoyce to sit with Belshazzar at their full cups in revelling and feasting but alas what becomes of their rejoycing when they see it written upon the wall before them Mene Tekel Peres All gladnesse of the world is often converted alwaies convertible into sorrow onely the gladnesse that is in God never suffers Ecclypse A single kinde of joy the wicked may have but because their rejoycing is in the world and not in God they are farre God knowes from showting for joy None but the righteous rejoyce in the Lord and therefore none but the righteous can showte for joy This David did when hee danced before the Arke and this Abraham did when Exultavit ut videret diem Demini Hee leaped for joy to see the day of Christ Is there showting for joy at Olympick games where but a Garland is gotten perhaps of Bay at most but of some fading matter and shall their not bee showting for joy at the game of the great Olympus where there wil be a crown gotten of glory that shall never wither nor fade away O my soule there will be the victory that is onely worthy of showting for joy which as it is common to all the godly so it is proper to onely the godly who being upright in heart and having their conversation in Heaven already they see with cleerer eyes than Abraham saw Christs day the saints expecting them the Angels ready to receive them and that which is more than the most that can be said or thought God himsefle preparing for them their severall Mansions of Beatitude that wee may justly conclude as we began Blessed are they whose iniqui-quities are forgiven and whose sins are covered Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputeth no sinne and in whose Spirit there is no guile THE THIRTIE EIGHTH PSALME O Lord rebuke mee not in thine anger neither chasten mee in thy heavie displeasure 2 For thine arrowes slicke fast in mee and thy hand presseth mee sore 3 There is no soundnesse in my flesh because of thine anger neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinne 4 For mine iniquities are gone over my head as an heavie burthen they are too heavie for mee 5 My wounds stincke and are corrupt because of my foolishnesse 6 I am troubled I am bowed downe greatly I goe mourning all the day-long 7 For my bones are filled with a loathsome disease and there is no soundnesse in my flesh 8 I am seeble and sore broken I have roared through the disquietnesse of my heart 9 Lord all my desire is before thee and my groaning is not hid from thee 10 My heart panteth my strength faileth me and as for the light of mine eyes that also is gone from mee 11 My loversand friends stand aloofe from my sore and my kinsmen stand a farre off 12 They also that seeke after my life lay snares for mee and they that seeke my hurt speake mischievous things and imagine deceit all the day long 13 But I as a deafe man heard not and I was as a dambe man that openeth not his mouth 14 Thus I was as a man that beareth not and in whose mouth are no reproofes 15 For in thee O Lord doe I hope Thou wile heare mee O Lord my God 16 For I said Heare mee lest otherwise they should reioyce over mee when my foot slippeth they magnifie themselves against mee 17 For I am readie to halt and my sorrow is continually before mee 18 For I will declare mine iniquitie I will be sorry for my sinne 19 But mine enemies are lively and they are strong and they that hate mee without cause are multiplied 20 They also that render evill for good are mine adversaries because I follow the thing that good is 21 For sake me not O Lord O my God be not farre from mee 22 Make haste to helpe mee O Lord my salvation MEDITATIONS upon the 38. Psalme BUt is it not an absurd request Verse 1 to require God not to rebuke mee in his anger as though I thought hee would rebuke mee if hee were not angry Is it not a senslesse suite to pray to God not to chasten mee in his displeasure as though hee would chasten mee if hee were not displeased The frowardest natures that are will yet be quiet as long as they be pleas'd and shall I have such a thought of the great yet gracious God that hee should be pleas'd and yet not bee quiet But O my soule Is it all one to rebuke in his anger and to rebuke when hee is angry He may rebuke when hee is angry and yet restraine and bridle in his anger but to rebuke in his anger is to let loose the reines to his anger and what is it to give the reines to his anger but to make it out-run his mercy and then what a miserable case should I bee in to have his anger to assault me and not his mercie readie to relieve mee to have his in dignation fall upon mee when his loving kindnesse were not by to take it off Oh therefore rebuke mee not in thine anger O God but let thy rebuking stay for thy mercie chasten mee not in thy displeasure but let thy lovingkindnesse have the keeping of thy rod. But though the request be never so just yet must it not needs be a wearisome thing to God to have us alwaies come to him with the same petition as though wee would persecute him with importunity and make him doe that which he is not willing to doe for if he were willing to grant it hee would no doubt have done it before now when in the sixth Psalme we asked him as earnestly for it as we can doe in this But O my soule is importunity a fault if it bee it is a fault I shall hardly bee perswaded ever to leave Did Christ count it a fault in the woman of Canaan who would take no answer but still cried after him till hee granted her suite Did not Abraham importune God five times about the sparing of Sodome and did not God grant as long as hee importun'd And may wee not thinke that if hee had continued his importunity still hee might as well have gotten Sodome to bee spared for one mans sake as hee had done for ten Is God like man that the importunitie of suitours should bee a trouble to him Can wee thinke that God should bee displeased with our importunity to him when he is pleased to use importunity himselfe to us Did not God call to Samnel three times one after another when hee bid him go to Eli with a message
nothing so much vexed as with thraldome and in thraldome alas in miserable thraldome is my soule detained and therefore O Lord How long How long shall my soule bee restrained of her liberty How long shall I lye groaning in the dungeon of captivity How long shall no date bee set to give a period to my thraldome My soule I may say is all heart and therefore every trouble it feeles must needs go to the heart yet none so deepe as this that I am forced to cry to thee out of the deepe and cannot yet ascend out of this vale of misery And therefore O Lord how long How long shall I live in the death of this feare the feare of death How long shall I desire to bee dissolved that being reunited againe I may never more be dissolved How long shall my immortall soule bee kept from the possession of her immortality from the immortality of her possession If the Saints in heaven who now tread time under their feet doe yet continue this question still to ask How long How long O Lord holy and true wilt thou not avenge our blood on them that live in the earth Is it mervaile that I who live under the tyrannie of time should beginne this question to aske how long How long O Lord mercifull and just wilt thou not avenge me on the world and sathan for the wrongs they have done mee How long shall I bee kept from saying O Death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie How long shall the Angell with the flaming sword keepe mee from entring againe into Paradise Where is the morning of joy I promised to my selfe when I said sorrow may bee in the evening but joy commeth in the morning For how many evenings how many tedious nights of sorrow have I endured and yet can see no morning of joy no dawning of morning toward Where is the truth of that Aphorisme Dolor si gravis Brevis for what dolour so grievous as this of my soule and yet O Lord how long How long shall I stand complaining and say my soule is troubled Is it not that I shall never cease to say my soule is troubled till he return again who once said for me that his soule was troubled For alas his soule should never have beene troubled but to take away amongst others the trouble of mine seeing hee is the sacrifice for all our sinnes and with his stripes we are healed And now therefore O Lord how long How long wilt thou turne away thy face and not shew me again the light of thy countenance How long wilt thou absent thy self from me and not afford me the joy of thy presence How long wilt thou bee going still farther from mee and not so much as once offer to returne Verse 4 Oh returne at last and deliver my soule save mee for thy mercies sake for alas O Lord all my troubles are come upon mee because thou wentst from mee all my grievance is long of thine absence for as long as thou wert with mee and that I had thy presence my soule was at quiet my bones were at rest and I enjoyed then a sweete and pleasing calme over all my parts but as soone as thou departedst from mee and didst but turn away thy face my calme was presently turned into a tempest a violent tempest of thunder and lightening Thunder of thy rebuking and lightening of thine anger that if thou stay not thy hand from chastening and return the sooner I shall never bee able to hold out living to taste of thy mercie Saint Peter was never so neere drowning when hee cried out to Christ Lord save mee or else I perish as David is now neere sinking in the pit of perdition if God returne not speedily and deliver his soule But what speake I of David as though it were not my owne case and if my danger bee as great shall not my prayer be as earnest or can I finde a better way of saving then thy returning No O Lord for if thou returne I am sure thou wilt not I know thou canst not leave thy mercy behind and mercie when it comes I know it cannot I am sure it will not ever suffer it to bee perdition For though my soul were at the pits brink and readie to fall in yet even then would mercie put forth her hand and save mee Thou requirest mee to returne to thee and alas O Lord how can I if thou returne not to mee first can I come to thee unlesse thou draw mee and canst thou draw mee to thee if thou withdraw thy selfe from mee I know thou returnest continually to dispose and order the Oeconomie of thy creatures but this returning is in thy providence and is not that which I desire I know thou returnest often to visit and judge the sinnes of the world as thou didst at Sodome but this returning is in thy justice and therefore neither is this returning for my turn but thou hast a returning in Grace and favour when thou returnest to mee to make mee returne to thee a returning from thine anger to thy patience from thine indignation to thy loving kindnesse and this is the returning which I so earnestly desire and sue for But O my soule before God returne in this manner to thee thou must looke to heare him expostulate with thee in this manner Alas my Creature what hast thou done to bring these troubles upon thy selfe Did I not make thee at first a sound bodie and did I not give it a strong constitution and how happens it now that thy bones should bee troubled Did I not breathe into it a perfect soule and gave it endowments after mine owne image and how comes it now to bee so quite out of order and so cleane bereft of all my graces Thou wilt perhaps answer It is true O Lord my bones are troubled and how can they chuse seeing thou tookest one of them away from mee which thou gavest mee at first My soule also is troubled and how can it chuse seeing thou didst suffer the Serpent in Paradise to disturb and trouble it But may not God then justly reply I took one of thy bones from thee indeed but it was to make thee an helper I let in the Serpent into Paradise indeed but it was to try thee for thy better perfecting and when I saw thee so foolishly hurt thy selfe with thy helper and so easily wonne from mee by a Tempter had I not just cause to leave thee to them for whom thou leftest me and now forlorne wretch what hast thou to say unlesse thou have leave to say Return O Lord and deliver my soule save mee for thy mercies sake But what more necessity is there of Gods returning to deliver his soule then there was before to heale his bones and in that case he spake not a word of returning and why should hee more importune it now Is it not that many diseases may be well enough cured onely by
when it nothing concerned thee and wouldst thou not speak now when it concerned thee so much how often hast thou spoken at the urging of impatience and wouldst thou not speak now at the entreaty of repentance But why then is it sayd Non ulli tacuisse nocet as if to hold ones peace did never hurt any silence inded never hurts any by sins of commission but by sinnes of omission often silence is never guilty of idle words yet guilty often of idlenesse in letting slippe opportunity And therefore Solomons counsell seemes much the sounder There is a time to speake and a time to hold ones peace and if there bee a time for each of them then each of them in their due time is good out of time is bad it is as great a fault to bee silent when it is fit to speake as it is to speake when it is fit to bee silent and if any time be fit for speaking unfit for silence this is the time when sinnes are to bee confessed and when our iniquities are to be acknowledged and made known to God Now therefore am I justly punished for my silence for seeing I held my peace when it was fit to speak now my speaking will not serve but I am faine to roare seeing I would not spend a few hours in prayer at first now I am faine to lie crying and praying all the day long Alas to what a miserable state had I brought my selfe that could neither make use of my silence nor of my crying out for if I held my peace I concealed my sin and the sore still festered more and more and if I cried out it spent my spirits and the very paine did Ages worke for it in my bones and made them old while my body was young The truth is I felt my selfe in paine but knew not what I ayled I knew all was not well with mee but knew not well why it was so Now after much searching and examining the cause I finde what it was It was even sinne that lay all this while in my bosome as a fire raked up in the embers of security and burnt mee to the very bone but finding it to be sin I was ashamed to confesseit and so between shame of revealing and danger of not revealing I lived a long time as a man distracted holding my peace for very shame and crying out for very paine And alas O Lord Verse 4 how could I chuse when it was thy hand that lay heavie upon mee thy hand of which it is sayd that with it thou dost terrible things and that which is in terrour the most terrible when thou once beginnest thou never givest over thine anger is not as an Ague but as a Feaver comes not by fits but is a continuall fit without either remission or intermission and what mervaile then if in this torrid Zone of affliction my Almond tree flourish before the time and my strong men bow themselves under the burden As a flower that is parched with the sunne and is ready to fall from the stalke that upheld it and as earth that is overdried with the heat and is ready to crumble into dust and powder such O Lord was I while neither wind nor so much as a breath of thy favour blew upon mee while neither showre nor so much as the dew of thy Grace instilled into me and in this maze of distresse whither could I thinke to turne my selfe for helpe I thought sometimes that time might helpe mee but alas time was no friend of mine for the longer time I stayed the more my sore festered and rankled within mee then I thought that place might helpe mee but alas I turned mee from side to side and could neither finde rest in resting nor ease in motion Then It hought of friends but alas my friends were my fortunes and not mine they bore mee fayre in hand while the weather was fair but as soone as a storme came they shrunke in the wetting So I bethought mee at last of a way which the world would rather thinke a Precipice then away and yet perplexed as I was I thought best to venture it Verse 5 I said I will confesse my sinnes to God A dangerous way I vow to goe for helpe to him whom I had offended to looke his hand should raise me up that had cast mee downe yet see the event or rather wonder at the wonderfulnesse of Gods goodnesse I confessed my sinne to God and hee for gave me the iniquitie of my sinne Oh let every sinfull soule take this from mee There is no such way in the torment of sin as to confesse it to God For it is not with God as it is with men Gods waies are not as mens waies if wee confesse a debt to men no way but we must pay it but in a debt to God the very confessing it is a payment and it is instead of ability that we acknowledge our felves to bee unable And indeed O my soule what danger can there bee in confessing thy sinnes to God who knowes them alreadie better then thy selfe Thou informest him of nothing hee knew not before thou dost but discharge thy conscience and prostrate thy selfe at the foot of his mercy and hee is the Lion of the tribe of Iudah and who knowes not that it is the noble nature of the Lion to spare any thing that prostrates it selfe before him If Adam had confessed his sinne to God would God have cast him out of Paradise If Eve had confessed her sinne to God should shee have had such throwes in her child-bearing Oh then let every Adam that would recover Paradise let every Eve that would have ease in her labour confesse their sinnes to God for they may be confident a true confession shall never returne either unregarded or unrewarded that where it was said before Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sinnes are covered wee may now alter the stile and say Blessed are they whose iniquities are confessed and whose sinnes are discovered For if we confesse them God is just and will forgive them if wee discover them God is mercifull and will cover them that as it was sayd of Abraham he believed and it was counted to him for rightcousnesse so it shall bee sayd of us wee confesse our iniquities and it is imputed to us for innocencie But is there nothing required to forgivenes of sins but onely the confessing of them Alas confession is but a part of repentance Gods pardons are alwaies entire and is it likely that he will grant a whole pardon for onely a piece of repentance Indeed so great is Gods forwardnesse in shewing of mercy so great his favour towards penitent sinners that as he useth the figure I may say of Anticipation in his grace to them so he accepts of the figure synechdoche in their performance to him though confession be but a part of repentance yet if it bee a true part hee accepts it for the whole
day long Is it not enough that my friends and kinsmen will doe mee no good but there are others that will doe mee hurt and it is not enough that they wish my hurt but they seeke to do it they hunt after mee as after a prey and it is no small hurt they seeke to doe mee but they lay snares for my life nothing but my life will serve them and they doe it not so much by open violence which might perhaps bee withstood but they doe it by fraud and deceit which is not easie to bee avoided for first they speake mischievous things they raise scandalls and worke the world to an ill opinion of mee and then they lye devising of waies how to entrap mee and they spend not an houre or two about it but they imagine deceit all the day long And alas O Lord is this a world to have safety in scandalls where if some bee ready to devise them others are as ready to believe them If there bee a Iezabel to plot a false accusation are there not elders to put it in execution and do I not in this still runne in the same line with my Lord Christ Iesus For did not the scribes and Pharisees first devise mischievous things against him and then the High-priests and Rulers believe what they devised and execute what they believed And what O Lord do I all this while doe I stand upon my guard and have an eye to their practises doe I seeke to repell their violence by force or to frustrate their fraud with circumspection Do I cleere their scandalls with apologies or do I answer their clamours with vociferations God knowes none of all these I neither use armes offensive nor defensive all my doing is suffering and all the apology I make for my selfe is silence Verse 13 For as a deafe man I heard not and as a dumbe man I opened not my mouth For why should I hear when I meant not to speak and why should I speake when I knew before hand I should not bee heard I knew by contesting I should but provoke them and make them more guilty that were guilty too much before I therefore thought it better my selfe to bee silent then to set them a roaring and make them grow outragious No doubt a great wisedome in David to know that to be deaf and dumb was in this case his best course but yet a farre greater vertue that knowing it hee was able to do it O how happy should we bee if wee could alwaies doe that which wee know is best to bee done and if our wills were as readie to act as our reason is able to enact wee should then decline many rocks wee now runne upon wee should then avoid many errours we now runne into To bee deafe and dumb are indeed great inabilities and defects when they bee naturall but when they be voluntary and I may say artificiall they are then great abilities or rather perfections They are two stemmes upon which do grow the excellent vertues of patience and charity which though David shewed in himselfe in a great measure at the rayling of Shimei yet he could never so properly speake them of himselfe as in the person of Christ for of him indeed the sacred story relates that being rayled upon and reviled buffeted and beaten by the base multitude yet as a sheepe led to the slaughter hee opened not his mouth but was deafe and dumbe even to death O grievous alteration transcendent indignity Hee that restored Creeples to health and raised the dead to life now to bee deprived himselfe of the chiefe faculties of life both active and passive He that made the deafe to heare and the dumbe to speake now himself neither to speake nor heare A grievous case no doubt to bee so and yet no doubt a just cause it should bee so for if he had heard he should have heard but blasphemies and if he had spoken he must have spoken but reproofs and seeing blasphemies were too prophane for his sacred ears to hear and reproofs too harsh for his milde tongue to utter what marvell if he that made the care did himselfe not hear what marvell if hee that was the Word it self did not speake a word And as my deafenesse and dumbenesse Verse 15 have not proceeded from imbecillity but from patience so neither have they proceeded from feare but from reverence for why should I speake when my hope is in thee O God that thou wilt speak why should I hear when thou wilt heare for mee For alas O Lord when I hear they speak what they list as either thinking I cannot controll them or not caring whether I can or no but whē thou hearest they are glad to take heed what they say for thou hast scales to weigh their words and if find them light power to censure them Why then should I offer to hear or speak when I know ere long I shall have a hearing before thee where thou shalt bee their judge and wilt be my advocate And have I not reason till then to consecrate my eares and tongue to thee It is true injurious language is a provocation able to make a dumbe man to speake and I may say able to loosen the tongue of Croesus his dumbe sonne but he that so provoked should fall a speaking were very like to fall in speaking for it is a slippery argument to be spoken in and if in speaking I should slip never so little Oh what a joy it would bee to my enemies they would never desire better sport they would magnifie themselves against mee I should be their blind Sampson to make them merry I should serve them for a stocke of derision Oh therefore suffer mee not O God to suffer these indignities but do thou heare for me do thou speak for mee for I alas am readie to halt Verse 17 and my sorrow is continually before mee that if my slipping and falling bee a cause to make mine enemies rejoyce they may bee sure of joy enough for how can I chuse but often fall that am of my selfe so readie to halt and specially when my sorrow is alwaies before mee that makes me I cannot see my way before me for what doth more blind the eyes and take away the sight then sorrow Was it not sorrow that hindred Mary Magdalen from discerning Christ when shee saw him at the Sepulchre And besides my halting is the worst kinde of halting that is for I come not to it as Iacob came to his by wrastling with an Angell which brought a blessing with it but I come to it as Mephibosheth did by the imbecillity or inequalitie of my parts For having two feete to goe upon my reason and my will how can I chuse but halt when my will is so much longer then my reason and then if to the aptnesse of my falling by reason of my halting there bee added the inadvertency of the way by reason of my sorrow how can I chuse