and glad to think of their depaâ—tures and ends And truly it is one of the most grievous miseries that a holy heart can feel and I beseech the Lord of heaven and earth to keepe you and me and all his for ever while wee are here in our valley under the sense of such distempers as our greatest misery And therefore me thought it was a solemn sweet speech of an honest man to his friend who seeing him oppressed with such distempers as you mention and perceiving him to droop under them hee came chearefully to him and suddenly said unto him I can tell you good newes the best that ever you heard viz. Assoon as ever you are in Heaven you shall serve Christ without wearinesse Which words well thought on revived the man That which I would speak with as much tendernesse of compassion as I am able to you I refer to these things 1. That a child of God is never usually weary of the â—uty but rather of his vile heart to thinke of and to looke upon that in the duty Christs yoke is easie and his burthen light to him that takes it on his necke and puts his Soul under it The duty nakedly considered in it selfe is glorious in his eyes and sweet to his Soule and hence sometimes never well but when he considers his dead blinde barren and senselesse heart that he is to carry to the duty and that he feares and hath felt will abide with him in the duty Oh! this grieves here the Soule pincheth An Hypocrite is weary of the duty a childe of God rejoyceth in it but hee is weary of his sinne and unsavourinesse and wearinesse in the duty I perswade my selfe Sir that you may soone mistake your spirit herein you thinke you are unwilling to come to the duty and are weary of it when indeed it is your glory joy and love but it is because you feare you can doe it no better that troubles you that you have such a vile heart in it And if your trouble be from hence the good Lord increase it in you daily and withall blesse the Lord and say Lord though I am weary of my vile heart in these daies of humiliation in these Sabbaths yet I blesse thee the daies and duties themselves thou knowest are deare unto me It is not Lord because I am weary of thy word but because I can doe it no better I am weary of my selfe and this vile heart here is much love in such a spirit to the Lord And believe it Sir your love wants not its recompences and remember that the Lord respects you not according to your duties done but according to your love in them and to them And therefore those duties you are ashamed to owne the Lord will not be ashamed to crown 2. Consider you must and shall be baited with these distempers of heart sometimes more and sometimes lesse as long as you live It is part of Pauls body of death which hee must carry with him till he come to bury himselfe 3. Those means which may helpe you to be freed from them a little at least are these among many 1. Be but truly and really not by fits and darkly sensible of them men in deep miseries are not unwilling to be helped out 2. Judge ye not rigorously of God although he weâ—e a bloody austere God as he did of his master whose talent he had and hence never improved it but looke upon God as having a Fathers heart and affection towards you in the meanest and greatest performances which is double either to give you strength to do what you cannot I can do all things through Christ or having come to him for it to accept of what you would do for him as if it were done and this will make you joy in the poorest performance that though it be never so full of vilenesse yet the Lord out of his fatherly love accepts of it as glorious 3. Renew morning and evening by sad and solemne meditation the sense of Gods love to you in Christ and in every duty that he sets you about and love will love and like the yoke and make the commandements that they shall not be grievous to you Thus I have briefly done with your new troubles which you mention you say because you may not have the like opportunity of writing again It may be so and therefore I have desired to satisfie you which I beseech the Lord himself to do Next you come to reply to my first Letter of which I have kept no copy as I never did of any and hence may and doe forget what I writ then unto you So much light as your Letter lends me to bring things to mind I will gladly take and be more briefe in answer You finde the strength of grace to be got in you rather by argumentation then inward communication and influence arising from the union to Christ And this troubles you To which I answer these three things 1. That as the old sinnefull nature is communicated from Adam the first to us without any argumentation so the new nature which is the seed foundation and plot of all grace is diffused into us by the second Adam when we are united to him without argumentation It is onely by divine operation The Lord leave not me nor any friend I have to a naked Arminian illumination and perswasion 2. That to the increase of those habits and drawing out the acts of the new creature the Lord is pleased to use morall and rationall perswasions as in the instance you gave Christ died for us then hence the love of Christ constraines but remember withall It is not the bare meditation or strength of reason or perswasion that elicits such divine and noble acts in the heart and affection but it is the blood of Christ sprinkling these serious meditations that makes them worke such graces in the Soule which I might shew at large which blood is the salve though argumentation is the cloth or leather to which it sticks and by which it is applied but from such leather comes no vertue all of it is from the blood of christ which by argumentation heales the Soule For if it were nakedly in the argumentation to stir your heart and to worke strength of grace what should be the reason that some times you are no more moved by all your argumentations then a mountaine of brasse is by the windes why should the same truth affect you at one time and not at another when you are as fitly dispoto be affected as at the first Therefore consider it is not your reason and argumentation but Christs blood that doth all by as admirable and yet secret operation 3. Your union to Christ on your part is begun and partly wrought by the understanding and hence the good that you get by it at any time it is from your union or part of it at lest Againe you aske me whether Calvin doth not
expresse fully my thoughts about our Spirituall union in his lib. 4. cap. 17. I answer I have forgot what he hath writ and my selfe have read long since out of him and for the present I have no bookes about me where I am and therefore cannot satisfie you in this neither know I when I shall seeke to finde out the booke and place If I have leisure I will either write to you or tell some of your friends before I am gone what he hath said or writ that way c. Againe thirdly You desire me to tell you how my selfe came to the cure of Atheisticall thoughts and whether they did weare out or whether they were rationally overthrown I answer at first they did wear out meeting with fruitlesse and dead-hearted company which was at the University 2. The Lord awakened me againâ— and bid me beware lest an old sore broke out again and this I found that strength of reason would commonly convince my understanding that there was a God but I felt it utterly insufficient to perswade my will of it unlesse it was by fits when as I thought Gods Spirit moved upon the Chaos of those horrible thoughts and this I thinke will be found a truth 3. I did groane under the bondage of those unbelieving thoughts looking up and sighing to the Lord that if he were as his workes and word declared him to be he would be pleased to reveale himselfe by his owne beames and perswade my heart by his owne Spirit of his Essence and being which if he would do I should account it the greatest mercy that ever he shewed me And after grievous and heavy perplexities when I was by them almost forced to make an end of my selfe and sinnefull life and to be mine owne Executioner the Lord came between the bridge and the water and set me out of anguish of spirit as she prayed for a child to pray unto him for light in the midst of so great darkenesse In which time he revealed himselfe manifested his love stilled all those raging thoughts gave returne in great measure of them so that though I could not read the Scripture without blasphemous thoughts before now I saw a glory a majesty a mistery a depth in it which fully perswaded and which light I desire to speake it to the glory of his free grace seeing you call me to it is not wholly put out but remaines while I desire to walk closely with him unto this day And thus the Lord opened mine eyes and cured me of this misery and if any such base thoughts come like beggers to my doore to my minde and put these scruples to me I use to send them away with this answer Why shall I question that Truth which I have both knowne and seen But you say this remedy is good viz. of prayer but that you cannot use it especially because you question the truth of God Yet deare Sir give not over this Trade you will doubtlesse finde it gainefull when it may be God hath laden you more with these thoughts and made you loath your selfe for them But the thing seemes strange to me if I mistake you not viz. that your heart will not be perswaded but that you must resolve your doubts concerning the perfection of Scripture not by seeking to hâ—rmonise those passages that seeme to crosse one another but by ascribing some humanity or error if I may interpret you to the pen-men seeing St. Paul saith We prophesy but in part and seeing one of the Evangelists leaves out the doxology in the Lords prayer Sir if you take these thoughts arising from these and the like grounds as your burden I do not blame you but pitty you in that respect but if your judgement indeed thinke so I am sorry you should harbour such thoughts one houre within doores for you know that holy men writ the Scriptures but so far they might erre but it is added as they were inspired or as the Originall hath it as they were moved or carried in the armes of the holy Ghost and so how could they erre how could God lie It is true Paul did prophesie but in part and is this an argument because he did not prophesie fully therefore in some things he did not prophesie truly I am perswaded you will say there are many things my poore thoughts have suggested to you as true and yet I am perswaded I doe in them prophesie if I may so say but in part The Spirit of God directed the foure Evangelists to write yet so as they did not all write what another writ but in great wisdome left some things doubtfull and short in one which are more cleare and full in another and hence the Doxologie is fully set downe in one and not in another and many reasons I could set you downe why but that it is needlesse I grant you ought not to put up all with a charitable opinion of Scripture but if you can by reason reading and comparing helpe your heart to a full perswasion this is Scripture but many things you cannot get satisfaction for by that way and meanes but still your Spirit will be left darke and doubtfull What course will you here take for resolution which is Scripture The Papists say it is so because the Church hath christned it for Scripture you say you will see reason for it that it is so or else you cannot be satisfied then I feare you wil never be satisfied I thinke In this case therefore these two things you are to do 1. To go to God by prayer to give you a resolution of all your doubts and by some meanes or other some light to see whether this is his word or not Secondly if this be his word that he would perswade your heart of it that it is so For the least resolution which is Scripture and which is not is made by the same perswasion and sole perswasion of the same Spirit that writ the Scripture Concerning the Angels that appeared to Mary see Gerard and he briefly I thinke will satisfie you In your answer to the particular scruples about the Scripture sense and the dissonancy of them Onely this I will adde to the last clause about these things that if the Scripture be inspired by the holy Ghost and that not in the sum and substance of it but to every word and sentence of it which I thinke you will not doubt of when you have considered it then I thinke it will undeniably follow that the same Spirit of truth is also a Spirit of order and hence the method of various penning of it is from the Spirit too which you say you sticke at Againe to your third thing concerning your spirit being burthened with involuntary infirmities as burdens but not as sinnes I say nothing now because I perceive by one part of your reply that the Lord hath done you some good by the first answer onely it is your griefe you cannot
you make the one to be a meanes to further the good of the other which such pious thoughts in some civill imployments doe it being no peece of Christian wisdome or honesty to turne round in worldly imployments so long till by giddinesse wee fall down but by secret steps ever and anon to look up to heaven and to behold the face of God to whom onely therein wee are to approve our selves But yet it seemes your thoughts are so far from being subservient the one to the other that you are distracted and molested and your peace interrupted and your Christian course made troublesom and an heavy burthen which surely can not be by the yoke of Jesus Christ therefore you must first bring your troubles in this particular to this issue either you may follow your Civill affaires and nourish these thoughts as helps to maintaine your peace and make you heavenly minded in them and if they serve sufficiently to such an end why are you troubled with them or els you cannot â—ollow God comfortably in civill actions unlesse you banish from you thoughts which doe so miserably distract you and then why doe you fear you shall grieve Gods Spirit if at the same time you do not give entertainment to them the unseasonablenesse of which speaks plainely they came not from the spirits suggestions besides their hinderance of comfortably walking with God which the imployments themselves can never hinder But you will say when is the season of nourishing such thoughts I answer Entertaine those thoughts as it may be you have done some friends who came to you at that time you have businesse with strangers whom you love not so well as your friends you have desired them to stay a while untill you have done with the other and then you have returned to your friend and when the other hath been shutâ—out of the doores the other hath had the welcom and hath lodged with you all night and thus you have grieved neither but pleased both It is so in this case Worldly employments are our strangers yet they must be spoke with Religious thoughts and practises are our friends these come unto us while God calls us to parley with the other you cannot speake with both at one time in one place without much perplexity take therefore this course make much of the good thoughts but parley not with them till your businesse is done with strangers and towards evening which is your season set some time apart every day for meditation and then make them welcome then consider and ponder well what was suggested to you in the day time and â—iâ—t every good thought to the bran for then is your season and after that let them sup and lodge with you all night and keep the house with you every day And surely when the Lord Jesus shall see what a friend you shall make of his Spirit and how wisely you walke therein you shall not need to feare any grieving of it or unseasonable times nay I say you will most fearefully grieve his Spirit if you parley with the conceived suggestions of it at unseasonable times What thou dost doe it with all thine heart saith Solomon Eccle. 9. Therefore when you are to pray confer or meditate do it with all your minde and all your thoughts and all your strength So when God calls you to worldly employments do them with all your mind and might and when the season of meditation comes take it which glorious ordinace of God although many Christiane use it occasionally and against some good time or when they have leisure meeting with them yet to set some time apart for it in a solemn manner every day and that in conscience as wee doe for prayer generally where is the man to be found that does thus Those men that thus neglect their season of musing and entring into parley with Gods Spirit dayly may be well said to grieve the Spirit through the neglect of which ordinance Gods Sâ—irit is as much grieved by Professors in England as by any course I know The Lord awaken us but I have run too farre already in this first part of my answer For the second meanes viz. how the soule is to carry it selfe in Civill employments that so you may not thinke you do for better when you listen to good thoughts as you mention I say but two things 1. Learne to follow them out of an awfull respect to the eye presence and command of Jesus Christ and to doe what you do in Civill businesses as the worke of Christ When you are riding or making up breaches between man and man then thinke I am now about the worke of Jesus Christ Secondly seeing your selfe thus working in worldly employments for him you may easily apprehend that for that time God calls you to them and you attend upon the worke of Jesus Christ in them that you honour God as much nay more by the meanest servile worldly act then if you should have spent all that time in meditation prayeâ— or any other spirituall employment to which you had no call at that time It is noted therefore by some of Pâ—ters wifes mother that when Christ had healed her of her Fevor she â—ate not downe at table with Christ in communion with him which no question was sweet but ministred at the Table and ran too and fro and so served him and acted for him wherein she shewed more love and gave him more honour viz. in that meane service and in acting for him then in having communion with him now if the Lord would out of his abundant goodnesse set the soule in such an acting frame for him and if if could do its worldly employments as the worke of Christ and see how greatly it honours Christ in attending on him Oh what peace should a Christian enjoy notwithstanding all his distractions every day And how easily would such devout thoughts you speak of be repell'd like darknesse before the light for the noblenesse of those good thoughts you speake of presenting themselves against the mean and base outsides of Civil affaires makes you ready to honour the one when you are call'd to serve the other but now by seeing you do the work of Christ Jesus in them you shall hereby see a glory in the meanest service you performe in Civill affaires and this will make you cleave unto them But I have said too much about repelling of good thoughts in these times wherin men have so few though it may be little enough to satisfie you Your second trouble is this viz that your heart is kept from being humbled for sinnefull distractions that hinder and interrupt the spirituall performance of holy duties and that for two reasons First Because they be involuntary and accidentall Secondly Because they cannot breake the Covenant between God and your soule being but inâ—irmities For the latter clause concerning breach of Covenant together with the other 1. I say not onely inâ—â—rmities
do not but the greatest sinnes cannot make a breach of Covenant between God and the soul that is once really not rationally wrapt up in the Covenant of grace Indeed grosse scandalous sinnes nay infirmities when they are given way to and not resisted may keepe the soule from the fruition for a time of Gods Covenant but never from the eternal jus and right unto it for as the habit of Faith or Grace gives a man a constant right to the promise and Covenant which seed ever remaines which habit ever lasts Ier. 3. 9. so the act of Faith or Grace gives a man fruition of the Covenant and the benefit of the promise and hence by the acting and venting of some sinnes wherein there is included the neglect of the exercise of grace He that is really in covenant with God may be deprived of the fruition of it yet seeing the seed of God and the habit of grace ever remaines he cannot by any sin break his covenant for the covenant of grace is absolute wherein the Lord doth not onely promise the good but to begin and perfect and fulfill the condition absolutely without respect of sin ex parte creaturâ— Indeed if Gods covenant of Grace did as that of works depend upon man to fulfill the condition having sufficient grace to fulfill it then grosse sin might well breake the Covenant but seeing God hath undertaken to fulfill the Covenant absolutely notwithstanding all the evills and sins of the soul no sinne can possibly break that knot and covenant which so firme and resolute love hath once knit And therefore if this be a good argument Infirmities cannot break covenat What cause have I to be humbled for them so as to say It is thy mercy Lord that I am not consumed for them as you write you may upon the same ground say so If the Lord should desert you or you forsake the Lord and so fall into the foulest sinne which I suppose corrupt conscience dares not be so bold as to think or allow of Secondly I say the least sinnes or infirmities do break the first covenant of workes and hence you do not onely deserve but are under the sentence of death and curse of God immediately after the least hairs-breadth swarving from the Law by the smallest sinne and most involuntary accidentall infirmity According to the Tenor of the Law the soul that sinneth shall die and cursed is he that continueth not in all things of the Law Gal. 3. 10. The least sinne being ex partâ— oâ—jectâ— in respect of God against whom it is committed as horrible and as great as the greatest For it being an infinite wrong being the dishonour of an infinite Majesty there can be no greater wrong then an infinite one unlesse you can imagine a thing greater then that which is infinite and therefore in this respect there is as much venome and mischiefe done against God in the least as in the greatest sinne And therefore it and whosoever commits it deserves death for it as if they had committed the foulest sinne in the world and therefore after the least and smallest infirmities you may from hence see what cause you have freely to be humbled and to confesse for them how worthy you are to be destroyed yea even to look upon your self as lying under the sentence of the Law and death immediately after the commission of them and so to mourne bitterly for them But you will say a Christian that is under the Covenant of grace is not within the Covenant of workes that Bond is cancelled the last will must stand and therefore he being out of that Covenant no sinnes of his can be said to breake the Covenant for no man can be said to breake that Law under which he is not and which he is not bound to keep I answer Every beleever hath a double being or standing and so there may be put upon him a double respect First he may be considered as united to and having a spirituall being on Christ and so it is true he is under grace and the Covenant of Grace and not under the Law nor the Covenant of workes and hence not being under the Law nor bound to keep it as a covenant of life though it be a rule of life no sinne can condemn him there being no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus Rom. 8. 1. But as Christ is above condemnation and law and death and curse so is he And this truly understood is the foundation of a Christians joy and peace and glory every day yet so as though sinne doth not condemne him yet he hath good reason to say it is mercy and meer mâ—rcy Lord that I am not consumed that I am condemned For sinne is the same nay grace and Gods love aggravates sinne for to sinne against the law deserves death without recovery but to sinne when grace hath received me and loved me when the blood of Christ hath bin shed abundantly to deliver me from sin Oh this makes the most secret silent sinne a crying one â— So that if you do consider this well you may see what little cause there is to have your heart rising against the deepest humiliation for the least sinne though you be in Christ and under grace For as Daniel when he was put into the Lions den had not he cause to wonder that he was not torne in pieces by them and why because it was not from any defect on their parts to teare him in pieces but from the omnipotent power and mercy and grace of his God that muzzell'd their mouths so though no Lion can teare though no sinnes can hurt or condemn a Christian as hee is considered in Christ yet hath noâ— he cause to confesse and wonder and say Lord it is thy meer grace and mercy that it is not so which is the act of humiliation you letter saith you can hardly come unto and why not because Gods grace puts any lesse evill in sinne but because it is meerely grace that keeps it from spitting that venome which otherwise it would Secondly A Christian may be considered in respect of his naturall being in himselfe and thus he is ever under the Law and as oft as hee sinneth under the sentence of death and as the Apostle speakes by nature even we justified quickned are the children of wrath as well as others And thus after the least involuntary accidentall siâ—ne you may easily see what cause you have to lie down deepely humbled mourning under the sentence of death and Gods eternall curse as a condemned man going to the execution to feel that fire that shall never go out looking upon your self as you are in your self a forlorn castaway every moment and this truly understood is the foundation of a Christians sorrow shame and confusion of face self-loathing self-forgetting selfâ—forsaking and condemning every day and believe it Sir it is no small piece of a Christians skill and work to put a difference
perswade me cause me to believe and in every thing to honour thee Lord I am contented gladly and joyfully to have thee doe therefore what thou wilt with me Just as a sicke man tells his Physician who comes not to him on thesetermes If you will make your self halfe whole then I will cure you and doe the rest for you but being utterly unable to cure or to know how to cure himselfe he tells his Physician I am content you should begin and perfect the cure and so honour your skill and love in me to be contented to take any thing if you will give it me and if I offer to resist that you should bind me and so do any thing with me 2. The second act is earnestly to long and come to Christ to cleave unto Jesus Christ by servent and ardent desire that he would make good those absolute promises to you seeing that they are made to some and that they doe not exclude you for when you ponder well and see what wonderfull great things the Lord promiseth to some whose heart cannot but be stirred up to say as that woman in another case Lord give me of that watè◠to drinke and as they in the fifth of John Lord evermore give us that bread Now doing this reflect upon this Second act and see if unto it no conditionall promise belongs and you shall find an affirmative answer from the word For what is this longing after the good not of some which many hypocrites do but of all the promises but that which the Scripture calls thirsting who are commanded to come and drink of the waters of life freely Isa. 55. 1 2. and hungring to which all good things are promised Mat. 5. 6. and which comming to Christ as I spake even now who hath given this as the â—irst fruit of eternall election and which kind of people he will never cast away Iohn 6. 37. Now when you see these promises belonging unto you why dare you not conclude but that all these absolute ones are yours also 3. The third act is this Seeing God hath promised absolutely such good things in the Second Covenant but hath not set downe the time when or how much grace he will give and seeing onely he can helpe therefore looke up and waite upon the Lord in the use of all knowne meanes untill he makes good what he hath promised to do and performe and worke for you Say as beggars that have but one doore to go to for bread if none heare or hearing help not lay themselves downe at the doore and say I will wait here I am sure I perish if I goe away or quarrell with them in the house because they helpe me not so soon as I would and therefore I will waite for it may be their compassions may move them as they passe by to helpe me So doe you Many a Soul comes and longs for the good of the promises but if the Lord doe not speedily help him he goes with discouragements fears and discontents or despair or sinne away and saith one of these two things either I shall never have helpe or I come not truly and hence I feel no helpe Oh remember that bread is only to be had at the doore to be distributed when the Lord seeth need not when we would or thinke wee have need and therefore wait here and say if I perish here I will at the feet of God and at the feet of the promises and covenant of God c. Now reflect upon this act and see if you may not finde some conditionall promise annexed unto it which surely you may and I will name you but two Isa. 40. 29 30 31. and Isa. 64. 4. and if the conditionall promise belongs to such a Soul you may easily conclude the absolute promises are your owne and the chiefest use you are to make of them when you know them that they are your owne is to presse God to make them good daily to you and to believe as verily and really as if you had the performance of them that they shall It may be you will aske me how shall I know whether I have these conditions truly in me I answer sincerity is a very witnessing grace the frequent meditation of the Scripture will give you much light to judge of the sincerity of them and that which Saint Paul speakes 1 Cor. 2. 12. I say unto you We have not received the spirit of the World but of God wherby we know or may know the things that are freely given to us of God 3. Thirdly If he be out of the covenant but yet God begins to worke with some common worke of his grace upon him all that I would say to him and all the use he can make of such absolute promises consists in these things 1. Let him consider the freenesâ—e of Gods promise whereby he may be stirred up to conceive some hope it may be made good to him in time For the promise is very free and large excluding none except those that sin unpardonably be their sinnes and natures never so vile before God and yet not including any by name for that is in the conditionall promise and hence such an one is to make this use of it who knowes but the Lord may have pitty upon me in time and so hang thy hope upon him 2. Let him consider the worth and price of Gods promise bought by blood and for which some men would give a thousand worlds for the benefit and comfort of and hereby raise up his heart as by the freenesse of it to hope so by the price of it to esteem of the thing promised above pearls and all the honour and pomp of the world 3. Let him consider the fulnesse of the promise which is a plaister as big as his sore just answerable to all his wants nay infinitely more large then his wants And surely these three things will draw his heart to long for the promise and then you know what is conditionally promised and bequeathed to them that thirst For similitude is the ground of love Now when the fulnesse of the promise is seen there will appeare such a suteablenesse and fitnesse of the promise to his soule that hee cannot but long for it Thus much for the fifth trouble Your sixth trouble set downe in two heads put into one for brevity viz. secret unwillingnesse to seeke God in the strictest solâ—mn services before you enter into them wearinesse of them while they last and glad when they are gone the reasons which you mention are partly feare of not using them aright together with melancholy and lastly the strictnesse of them It is very true there is abundance of wildnesse in our hearts which naturally seeke to have their liberty abroad and cannot endure to be pent in the narrow room of holy performances extraordinary duties c. no more then children can be pent up from their play And hence it is weary of them