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A10304 The house-holders helpe, for domesticall discipline: or A familiar conference of household instruction and correction fit for the godly gouernment of Christian families. Dedicated to all religious house-holders by R.R. minister of Gods Word. R. R., minister of Gods Word. 1615 (1615) STC 20586; ESTC S106118 19,047 58

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lye sweare murmure curse mocke raile c. then presently thereupon examine and shew them by the book what Commandement they breake and when any duty to God or men is omitted examine and shew them by the book what precept they offend against teaching thē to expresse the sense in other words that you may know they vnderstand the meaning and teaching them not onely by the booke but also by liuely voyce and spéech Thus to teach them I say vpon occasion the vse and experience of that they haue learned will as I haue by tryall perceiued both helpe their capacitie confirme their memorie and worke vpon their affections the more effectually SONNE AFter this course of catechizing continued daily in the Weeke dayes what other order of instruction would you wish chiefely to be continued vpon the Sabbath day FATHER I Would wish you alwaies vpon the Lords day d Conference concerning Sabbath dayes instruction to be vsed thē in each reformed family to examine all your Family in those things which are euery day taught them on the Sabbath by your Minister who is a godly learned and a zealous Preacher and examine them so that you may know how euery one doth marke and remember what things were taught and how they were confirmed and applied e The carelesnes of common Christians of luke-warm Laodiceans and Protestāts at large which abound in this our age and are euen glutted with heauenly Manna Many men are exceeding carelesse herein for where almost is one among many that questioneth with his seruants about Religion at all It may be sometimes saith one that they will send thē to the Church but when they returne what doe they aske them of their learning or profiting there vnlesse perhaps once at the hundreds end hée vouchsafe to know the Chapter and the Verse of the Text which betwixt the Church doore home euen a Parrot would be taught to pronounce Let such send any of their people vpon some worldly businesse and they will be sure to aske his seruant how hee sped and nothing will he leaue vnasked to vnderstand the effect of the arrand hee sent him about but for Gods businesse and Soule matters be they performed negligently or not done at all it mattereth not And almost all men doe now content Note this themselues with a flight examination hence is it that their sonnes and seruants can neither shew the summe and diuision of the Text nor what doctrines were drawne from it much lesse how they were confimed and in the vse applied but onely they bring certaine words and sentences or similitudes not vnderstanding the purpose whereto any thing was spoken by the Preacher I Note this would wish you therefore I say to examine your Children and seruants with such diligent care that you may know how euery one doth marke and remember what things were taught and how euery doctrine was confirmed and applied and where any one faileth let the next that standeth in order by him shew and teach him when all haue brought out their store and shewed their best endeuour to make repetition then you your selfe are also to helpe them therein by a diligent repetition confirming and applying to your whole Familie and to your owne heart and affections Note this all the doctrines that were deliuered which I would wish you to doe with all Godly zeale and feruencie forthwith and immediatly after your comming from Church before you receiue your bodily foode SONNE VVHere that course is continued Obiect men are commonly accounted Puritans and we that haue vsed it haue beene much derided scorned and mocked for it and many men you know in the Countrey doe call it and terme it a priuate Preaching and do not cease to say that therein wee shew our selues to bee more precise then wise what say you of such scorners FATHER FIrst I say that though such estéeme Answere wisedome it selfe to bee but foolishnesse and folly yet are they themselues the onely fooles by Gods account Who scorneth the scorner Pro. 3. 34. and saith that fooles despise wisedome and instruction Pro. 1. 7. Secondly I say therefore that such as would bee wise must not sit in the seate of scorners nor be daunted with such scorning though it bee a persecuting Gal. 4. 24. Heb. 11. 36. Thirdly because such men account this course to be a nouelty and seeme to yeeld much vnto Antiquitie I would wish them to consider well Saint Austens censure who saith That euery Paterfamilias concionator est in domo sua iuxta Augustini sententiam dicentis quod concioator est in suggestu hoc quilibet paterfamilias in domo sua Householder should bee the same in his owne house as the Preacher is in the Pulpit or in Gods house That is that hée should diligently teach and instruct his houshold as Abraham did who commanded his houshold to doe iustice and iudgement Gen. 18. 19. And as the Mother of Lemuel did Pro. 31 2. 3. who by their sedulitie and earnestnesse in teaching did set as it were an edge vpon their doctrine in applying it to the affections of their hearers that it might moue much their minds pierce deepe into their hard and stonie hearts Now the same that they did you and euery Householder is commanded to do Deut. 6. 6. 7. where the Hebrew reading is Thou shalt whet these words on thy Children and agreeable thereto is that Heb. 10. 24. 25. Let vs whet one another as it is in the Greeke pointing at and noting by that metaphor of Whetting our spirituall dulnesse which like blunt tooles haue need to be whetted by dayly teaching and admonishing Heb. 3. 13. SONNE I Perceiue by the former places that such as are Parents and gouernors of Families should not be like Luke-warme Laodiceans whom the Lord Iesus willeth to repent Reuel 3. 14. 19. For none indeed doe truely repent till they be feruent saith one for feruencie or zeale is an effect of true repentance 2. Cor. 7. 11. I perceiue also by the former places that not onely minsters but also all Christians should be zealous according to that general precept Be feruent in Spirit seruing the LORD Rom. 12. 11. And that therefore they should set an edge vpon their admonitions and instructions is not that your meaning sir FATHER YEs assuredly for it is the very life of good doctrine to moue affection much beeing well applyed without which it is but like a plaster kept in a pocket and not applied to the place infected A Similitude SONNE SIth then in teaching it is so needfull to moue affection shew me I pray you some helpes and meanes to make my houshold admonitions and instructions powerfull to worke vpon the affections of my Family FATHER TWo things are needfull in teaching to mooue affection much First feruency Secondly constancy Teach therfore and instruct your Family with feeling and with feruency in particular in reprouing such as are audacious and
presumptuous do it not as some do with a smiling countenance but as our Sauiour did with an angrie countenance mourning also as he did for the hardnesse of their hearts Marke 3. 5. Secondly in admonishing the vnruly Charge command them to deale religiously iustly and truly as Abraham did Thirdly in comforting the féeble-minded and when any matter of comfort is to bee applied speake then with chéereful spéech and countenance if you can for God requireth mercy to bee shewed with chéerefulnesse Rom. 12. 8. and he loueth a chéerefull giuer chiefly in giuing spirituall gifts be not therefore in comforting drowsie heauy-hearted and leaden like but shewe your selfe in comforting comfortable and to be comforted Thus much concerning feruency Againe to make your instruction powerfull you must teach and admonish constantly and diligently for as the drops of raine cannot weare thorow an hard stone without often dropping how sharpe soeuer the water or the dropping be so the Word applyed not often but seldome earnestly will not pierce thorow the stony heart of man though doctrine well applied bee as the dropping of the raine vpon the stone or earth Deut. 32. 2. which must haue to Deut. 32. 2 make it fruitfull both the early and the latter raine The heart of man is more hard then the Adamant stone and yet by often beating vpon it by the hammer of Gods Lawe it may bee bruised and humbled Ier. 23. 29. The powerfull applying of Ier. 23. 29. doctrine is as the nailes which vnlesse they bee with many blowes hammered and beaten vp throughly vnto the head will not holde a strong and thicke shipboord Ecclesiastes 12. 11. Eccles 12. 11. Lastly the effectuall applying of doctrine is like vnto the grindstone or whetstone which will not without much grinding often whetting make edge-tooles beeing much and often dulled fit to worke withall or kéene to cut So our hearts and affections being hardened blunted and dulled by the deceitfulnesse of sinne had need to be much whetted that they may bée made fit for Gods worke by daily and earnest admonition and exhortation Heb. 10. 24. 25. Heb. 3. 13. Therfore Moses in the foresayd place sheweth Deut. 6. 6. 7. That wee must Deut. 6. 6. 7. make our admonitions powerfull to pierce first by hauing and feeling the power thereof abiding and working in our owne harts and then next in whetting the same vpon our children and others by continuall talking and conferring of the sacred Scriptures when we walke in the way when we lye downe and when we rise vp Lastly if you doe desire to teach and instruct your family so that you may moue much throughly worke vpon the hearts of your hearers euen all good and holy affections Consider then also of other needefull helpes thereunto belonging namely that in your family you must walk wisely Adiuncts to the former means prayse orderly reward worthily and correct accordingly THE THIRD CONFErence concerning the foure last mentioned helps and meanes to make Household instruction powerfull to worke good and holy affections in the HEARERS SONNE Question EXplaine and confirme I pray you in particular these former directions FATHER Answere FIrst as God commandeth you must walke wisely Colos 4. 5. Ephe. 5. 15. shunne therefore all grosse and open vices otherwise that which you build with the one hand you pull downe with the other and are in Gods account a murtherer 1. Cor. 8. 11. 12. Rom. 14. 15. Secondly walke wisely in all good waies that so doing you may adorne the doctrine of our Sauiour in all things Titus 2. 10. In particular pray heartily Tit. 2. 10 and dayly for and with your Family and in speciall for euery one vpon all occasions as Iob did Iob. 1. 4. 5. Next looke and prye vpon euery Weeke day into their carriage and on the Lords day sée that euery one from Sabbath to Sabbath do diligently frequent the publike ministerie and how they profit in knowledge and grow in Grace 1. Pet. 2. 2. Secondly you should praise and commend your Child your son your daughter your Seruant when they doe any thing well laudably or praise-worthy for praise is a spur to quicken incourage them in all good courses 1. Cor. 1 5. 6. Reuel 2. 3. 6. 13. 19. Reuel 3. 8. Thirdly reward them when they do well for a Reward is as a precious stone saith Salomon it prospereth whithersoeuer it turneth Pro. 17. 8. That is as one expounds it a gift or reward hath great force to gaine the hearts of them to whomsoeuer it is giuen Fourthly correct them also when they doe euill correction must bee vsed when any will not be amended by admonition if after due and many admonitions you giue not meete correction then doe you honour your sonnes aboue the Lord as Elye did 1. Sam. 2. 19. yea though for a fit you do earnestly reproue them with Elye 1. Sam. 2. 23. 24. 25. His cockering of his Children brought destruction vpon him and his and generall calamitie as you know to the Church of God 1. Sam. 4. 10. 11. c. Yet h Carelesnes of correcting many carelesse Christians like luke-warme Laodiceans neuer correct their vnreformed Familie for dishonouring God by swearing Sabbath-breaking or for other faults against the first Table but onely in such cases as concerne their owne persons their own credit profit pleasure c. But let all such know that not correcting such foule offences they draw on themselues and others all common calamities as Elye did 1. Sam. 4. 10. 11. 18. 19. 20. Correct therefore your vnreformed Family if you desire to free your selfe others frō feareful grieuous iudgmēts The order manner of correcting children seruants And correct thē in this order manner First after due monition conuincing if possibly it may be their consciences otherwise they will waxe worse and become more obdurate stubborn subtill Secondly correct after anger not in anger and in passion for anger oft-times can kéepe no measure Anger said a Philosopher is a short madnesse and therefore when Tarentinus was to correct his seruant hee sayd I would beat thee but that I am angry with thee Thirdly correct also chiefly principally for the breach of the first foure Commandements Fourthly correct not with too much lenitie for too much lenity causeth as one saith securitie so too much security prouoketh to wrath and to desperate iniquity seuerity should be shunned therefore Ephes 6. 4. And therefore sayth one Correct not nor beate not thy seruants with staues as if they were dogges nor with too many stripes as if they were bondslaues but kéepe alway an euen hand betwixt these two extremes and when thou correctest be thou humbled to God considering in them thine owne natural Gal. 6. 1. or occasionall corruption Gal. 6. 1. Fiftly delay not correction too long left they grow sturdy and incorrigible Ecclesiastic 30. 8. 12. Prouerbs 13. 24. Prouerbs 23. 13. 14.