of Body or Mind as are suitable to such work 3. Let not the Thoughts be inrodinately devoured in it and to that end 4. Force the heart to read and meditate the Scriptures with more seriousness and labour for an inward value thereof above any other labour or study 5. Judge not any useful Labour Work or Study to be materially evil because your inordinate Affection about it is sinful but rather regulate your desires to Moderation and a right end in what you do 6. Be contented in the measure of your Attainment 7. View the excellency of God in Christ appearing in all created Skill Excellency and Worth Strive to wind up your heart by Creature-Excellencies instantly to a more actual Enjoyment of them as his Gift only and so to himself as the Fountain of Perfection Thus have I been wrestling with a Monster bred in my own Bowels but O Captain of my Salvation breath Truth Faith Vertue and Blessing upon these Meditations or else all my labour is lost and my enquiry into my disease spent in vain Every good and perfect Gift comes down from above and therefore my eyes are to the Hills from whence comes my help Let not the Poor return ashamed of his Hope I leave my Success upon thy hands who hast redeemed me O Lord God of Truth And seeing a gracious God hath favoured me thus far to drill me along sometimes wooing sometimes reproving sometimes comforting and confirming me in the various roulings of my heart in these Meditations from time to time I would now lean upon him to make good all the movings of his Spirit in my heart and issue forth from himself through Christ by his Spirit a suitable Supply according as my daily need and proneness to decay doth require that it may be evidenced to my Soul that these Meditations how much frailty soever I have been laden with under them were not meer Humane Labour and Invention but that the Breath of the Holy Spirit hath been in some true measure present And therefore O thou who art the God of all my Hope be pleased to cause all that love to and desire after pure Union and Fellowship with thee in Christ which hath been at any time working towards thee in any of these Meditations and at any other time to be purged from my personal Guilt that cleaves to the best thing which I do And vouchsafe a Return of my desires from the Throne of Grace as far as any exercise of Spirit in me hath been acceptable in thy sight through my dear Redeemer That whether I sleep or wake the groanings of thy Spirit may be acceptable before thee day and night and though my heart be vile yet let it still be as a Garden watered by thy hand a Soul which the Lord careth for Bring me through the great Waters that one day I may be utterly and eternally delivered from every evil work inward and outward and purely serve love and glorifie thee being presented spotless through Christ among that glorious Host of the Spirits of just Men made perfect LETTERS 1638. To D. B. N o 1. YOur Letter I very gladly received and 't is no small delight to me to see that your eyes are towards Heaven and your desires to the fear of your Maker Before I was hopeful but now I am confident And being the beautiful Light of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ hath enlightned your Soul and purified your Conscience from dead works to serve the living God seeing 't is thus fear not only be strong Be thrifty of your time exact in your course spiritual in your aim bearing about an undaunted Triumph in believing One thing among the rest not unneedful I must advise you that you set your self to pluck up your Spirits and be of a lively heart getting what necessary insight into the World you can that you may the better get within the humours of all people to understand the better how to carry your self in what condition of life soever you shall be in to your own comfort and the shunning of unnecessary Reproach or Contempt but contrarily Credit and Esteem of all even of them that are without The Exercise of Worldly Wisdom Policy Skill and utmost Endeavour must be used albeit not depended on nor the Corruptions of the World practised Something I do the rather write this way as conceiving some other Course of Life will befall you ere long than at present you are in yet still keep close to Almighty God and whereas others in their Course on Earth and creditable Conversation here do sacrifice to their Wits Boldness Contrivance and the like do you endeavour and pray that you may sacrifice to the Will Wisdom and Assistance of God in Heaven made over to you in the Merits of Christ undoubtedly The Lord be with us and grant us unearthly Hearts and Conversations whatever may hereafter betide us There is no Rock like our Rock no God like our God to him I commit my self and you for an everlasting Support 1639. To D. B. N o 2. HAving such an opportunity I could not but write you a few Lines and all that I have to say is Cast your self upon God in Jesus Christ Eat his Flesh and drink his Bloud Be with him upon the Cross be with him ascended into Heaven by the one to be discharged from the Clamours of the Law and the Guiltiness of Conscience by the other to triumph in Assurance of Victory over Sin and Sorrow This Implanting into the Son is by Faith this Life of Faith is fed by Meditation of the Mystery with Prayer and attentive Reading and Hearing with good Conference with experienced Believers and Use of the Sacraments These things I believe your heart doth ponder but we are bound to put one another in mind And next seek and strive in your Service to be laborious faithful discreet separate not the Service of Christ from the Service of your Master serve one in the other strive mightily to temper them well one with the other and then what you put your hand unto do it with all your might c. 1646. To B. J. D N o 3. I Know you are under great Suffering and what word of Comfort or Counsel to write to you I know not only this that it is of the Lord as Jonah was not to be angry you are not to be tortured with Grief That one that two Gourds are withered together Morality and Reason do plead for Patience and Content but your interest in the Maker and Heir of all things may truly argue it much more He that gave you them at first has now called them away The Giver lives though the Gift be withdrawn The Comforter is the same and the substance though the Comfort be removed and the Leaves fallen Haply your thoughts are Where are they Whither gone At rest or not Consider whose eye saw them before they were formed in the Womb the everlasting Decree had disposed of them
we could believe this and redeem our precious time to learn the Will of God and to be fashioned more to his Likeness under earthly fears or burthens As for Betties Recreation I would have her amongst other things learn to sing that she might use the glorious Ordinance of singing Psalms with the more delight I must as often as I can put you in mind and let us put one another in mind while we are in this World of Sin and Trouble that we labour constantly and earnestly to preserve the health of the inward Man Oh keep a spiritual Palate for right relishing spiritual Food and to be every day girding on us afresh the long Robe of Christ's Righteousness that we may be suitable to the state we are called to Communion with the Father himself and Jesus Christ 'T is a Garment that grows fresher and fresher to us by the wearing 'T is a Garment that will never sully but cleanseth the Soul that wears it 'T is defensive against cold fainty Fits and the best Armour that can be against the Rage of Sin and Satan 'T is a glorious Robe and yet it hath a singular Vertue to make the Soul that wears it humble The first Garment that the first Adam made did somewhat hide his Shame but could not remove his Guilt and Fear and therefore he ran with it from God But this Garment of the second Adam has the only Excellency to bring Souls to God yea to his very Throne with boldness He or she that wears this Robe carries Salvation about with them and are Objects of delight to the Father Son and Spirit and to the blessed Angels wherever they go and whatever their Condition here be and as Job's Friend said Job 5. 27. so may I that So it is hear it and know it for thy good I leave you to the Lord and rest c. 1659. To D. H. N o 42. THe Lord teach us his mind and loosen us from a present World and gather our hearts and hopes near to himself 'T is one of our invaluable Privileges that this is not our Rest God calls aloud Come up hither Christ is above holding the Covenant of Grace in his Right Hand and all his broken-hearted Mourners and Prisoners of Hope wrapped up in it as in a Mantle Dear Sister all things are safe because they are in the heart of Christ and I doubt not but Christ is yours Spare not to pray spare not to repent with grief and joy spare not to relie on the Rock of Ages 't is all but the work of a beloved Spouse towards a matchless Husband Your Work and Labour in the Lord cannot but be accepted Set your eyes towards the tops of the Mountains your Beloved hastens like a young Roe and will not be at rest till he has rescued home all his Redeemed the dearly beloved of his Soul amongst which number I am much assured your Name is entred such are the Riches of his Grace to such a wretched Sinner And seeing he is resolved to save at such a rate what Soul-Enemy shall say What dost thou 1659. To B. D. N o 43. AS for your own fears under which you wrestle it is not the having or wanting earthly Tranquility that is any proper Character of God's Love or Anger but the discovering mark of that lies chiefly in the way of our deportment under such Trials agreeable to the practice of the Saints recommended to us in the Scriptures by the Spirit of God For there is no Temptation can befall us which has not been for substance the Trial of them who have endured and overcome before us And you are required to remember their faith and patience and the issue God gave that you do not succumb or faint as if God had forsaken the Government of the World or changed the nature of the everlasting Covenant ordered in all things and sure I have been labouring to live upon the naked Promises of God in reference to my outward Concernments as if I were in the want of all things and do think if I could come at it it were a glorious Portion None but exercised Believers can tell truly why the Promises are called rich and precious and how much lies in that word RICH IN FAITH Jam. 2. 5. and what extensive Satisfaction and Glory lies in that word GOOD All things shall work together for good to them that love God You know these things c. As fears or outward disappointments abound fly still a higher pitch till you rejoyce in manifold Trials that God counts you worthy to be listed among them who could not be made happy by earthly things nor miserable in the want of all things whether Estate Friends Health Credit or any thing else whilst they could fly to a higher Rock The Lord direct you and make you lanch forth upon the Power and in the Wisdom and under the Shelter of the Lord Infinite and abundant is that Shelter Oh that you and I could with Luther sing over all our sins and fears be they what they will the 46th Psalm God is a refuge for us a present help in trouble Here is our comfort this World is not our Country a few days will call us hence The good Lord manage all your Work and open such a Window from Heaven that both you and I and all that seek the Lord may be throughly transformed to a hearty joy even in divers Temptations and know the reason through his Grace why the blessed Spirit did put that Clause into the holy Scriptures for our patience and solid Comfort Jam. 1. 2. We are changeable no Rest here and 't is well it is so that we might not relish any thing in this World so sweet as to tempt away our hearts from lovely Canaan and the desirable Fellowship of Christ face to face Oh the day yet hastens I trust in which we shall sing away Heart-melancholy for ever c. 1659. To B. D. N o 44. GOd is a strong Refuge and as you have found it you will yet find it the more you roll your self Family and Estate upon him He is one that can forgive Sin and give Christ and can he not then give all things with him He can take away a treacherous heart and make it new Access for your Prayer is always open and will not he take away an evil heart of Unbelief that the Soul and he may meet together Let us fear and hope reach forth and touch the Golden Scepter and live in his sight The Vision is true which Faith in the Word discovers Oh happy is the humble Believer for there shall be a performance of all things promised Though the Mountains be cast into the midst of the Seas God is a refuge for us Selah c. 1660. To D. H. N o 45. I Know it is your care and labour to carry on your Warfare wherever you are the end of all things is hastening upon us and we are hastening to it Let
when he taught his Disciples that Prayer Could I but pray this Prayer in the Latitude of it I should think my foot within the threshold of Heaven The main Gospel-killing work lies The blessedness of a mortified Vnderstanding and mortified Will. in mortifying the Understanding and the Will into the Wisdom and Dominion of the Spirit and in regard my present Controversie is against my own Carnal Will I would deal with that first did not my unmortified Understanding stand in the way My unmortified Understanding can easily dally with all the Notions about the Trinity Law and Gospel Promises and Covenant Faith and every Grace of the Spirit and every Duty of Godliness and yet but trifle all the while The renewed Understanding sucks in the lively Evidence of the Mind of God in all those things and is called the Demonstration of Spirit and Power 1 Cor. 2. 4. and the very Mind of Christ 1 Cor. 2. 16. This Mind of Jesus Christ represents to Faith the infinite God wrapped up in every Particle of his Word and is the Spirit of every revealed Truth Hence comes that Expression You have not so learned Christ Ephes 4. 20. A renewed Understanding is not taught by Words and Sentences be they what they will and though never so good but by the Mind of God and Christ in them Ephes 4. 21. The whole Volumne of the Scriptures is but as it were a small hint of the unmeasurable Will of God And this is the reason why the Scriptures though the words are the same and not altered yet do they by the Spirit speak variety of Instructions in the Unity of the same Truth as the Spirit pleaseth to reveal it self therein which doth not at all argue defect in the Scriptures but infiniteness in the Mind of Christ therein contained This Fulness of the Mind of Christ in the Word is that which makes it divide between the Soul and the Spirit the Joynts and the Marrow and is a Discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart Heb. 4. 12. A renewed Understanding makes use of the Word and all the Expressions therein but as the Door by which to enter into the whole Vision of God in Jesus Christ and the Revelation of his Will and so takes up the Truth truly in the method in which the infinite God is pleased to condescend A renewed Understanding sees the Mystery of Truth to be Substance and Life through that report of it which words do speak It converseth with Life through the Conduit of Words Phrases and Terms It gives way to the Truth as it is in Jesus by believing and not mangle it with carnal Reason and so makes way for the renewed Will to give Obedience by believing doing and suffering the Pleasure and Will of God The renewed Will is one with God's Will in a way of Submission thereto It lies down broken heartedly in the pleasure of God 'T is zealous in Obedience secure in believing quiet in suffering because the Will of God reigneth and cannot be disappointed It makes the Soul in all things give thanks and rejoyce evermore It grieves where the Holy Spirit is grieved and it delights where God delights If God say to Abraham Offer up Isaac he doth it with joy Reluctancy is gone because the Will of God dwells in the renewed Will and the Consultations of Flesh and Blood are mortified It grieves for Sin because it crosseth the revealed Will of God and yet rejoyceth in Hope because all things shall work together for good to them that love him The renewed Will is always renewing it self by Faith in Christ and looking into the Law of Liberty It thanks God heartily for Life Death Health Sickness Success or Disappointment in High Degree or Low Degree because 't is baptized into his Will And that the nature of this new Creation in the Will may provoke my heart to withdraw from the Servitude of my corrupt Will I would ponder the nature of it a little further The first Parent of the Grace of Adoption by Jesus Christ was the good pleasure of the Will of God in his Decree Ephes 1. 5. and actual Conversion by the Word is the Operation also of the Will of God Jam. 1. 18. which bringeth forth a Birth in the new Man of the same likeness Psal 110. 3. Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power and by this the truth of all Obedience is measured Isa 1. 19. It is also the first thing the Spirit of God hath in its eye and which doth in a way of Acceptation fill up the defect of all other Service 2 Cor. 8. 12. The State of Death in Sin is Captivity to the Will of Satan and the Flesh and Subjection to the Will of God is the First-born from the Dead it first appears and so goes on as the living Token of true Christianity and never ceaseth till 't is filled with the Fulness of God who brought it forth and so it is the undoing Principle to Flesh and Blood and captivates Fear Care and Bondage into the Liberty of Jesus Christ the Eternal Son of God and makes Christ and a Believer no longer twain but one in the Union and Operation of the Spirit whereby the Dominion and sure Protection of God secures the Soul as the Waters cover the Sea Here I stick and here I groan Alas alas for this day of the Lord Oh for this day spring from on high to reveal this light and breath in the Life of this renewed Understanding and Will from the rolling bowels of his own Grace and Spirit I am sick yea I am sick my Pen shakes my heart quivers with desire after this renewing Work Give way O Carnal Mind of Unbelief Darkness Sin and Vanity that my heart may faint away into the bosom of this changing Power of the Spirit of Christ who has redeemed it This glorius Work of renewing The use of the Scriptures the Mind is carried on by the eternal Word of God by which he made the World All Creating Work is effected through the eternal Word the Son of God by the eternal Spirit from the everlasting Father in which God is all in all This eternal Word hath declared himself by a word of Faith Reconciliation and Comfort contained and expressed in a way suitable to the Capacity of Humane Sense Reason and Understanding in the Scriptures that so the incomprehensible Will of God might look into the heart of Man through the inlets of natural Sense and the faculties of a natural Mind making them subservient in this renewing Change Therefore is it made visible to the eye and receivable by the ear retainable by the memory and meditable by the heart in the use of the Scriptures and so doth in a rational way by Reproofs Instructions Convincements and Comforts bring forth the new Creature and hold it in a Spiritual Union and Fellowship with the Father Son and Spirit through a daily Increase tending to the
very black and very polluted through my natural pollution and daily infirmity yet through the savour of thy Ointments O precious ever-living ever-interceding Christ let me now be a sweet savour in thy Nostrils and pleasant in thy sight and in the sight of thine and my Father and let me be breathed upon day and night by the Spirit of the Father and the Son that I may now go out about thy work with joy and be led forth by thee with Peace and renewed Testimonies of thy Help and Presence Let the Mountains and Hills break forth before me into singing and all the Trees of the Field clap their hands for joy Glory be to God on high on earth peace because the good Will of God has stooped to such a Worm as I. Instead of the Thorn now let there be a Firr Tree instead of the Bryar a Myrtle Tree let Righteousness and Conformity to thy Will prosper in my Soul as an everlasting sign of this Covenant that it shall never be cut off nor broken What am I O Lord of Heaven and Earth that thou hast brought me hitherto Stablish thy covenant to thy servant as the sure mercies of David for ever And seeing I do now rest in this blessed Covenant leaning upon thee my dearly Beloved let me never nourish halting Enquiries after these sacred Vows to the most high God Let me never devour and destroy this sacred Bond and so turn this present and holy design and inviolable Tie into a Snare Take this Burthen upon thy Sholders O Rock of Ages and let this Covenant and my personal Infirmity also be perpetually before thy eyes to make good thy Covenant upon all occasions and let thy everlasting Arms be always under me to keep my seet from falling To this Covenant with my God and to these my Supplications Confessions and Vows in the name of him who hath called me into this Liberty through the Blood of the Mediator and my dear Redeemer which I declare to be my Act and Deed through his Grace never to be reversed and that it may stand as a Mount and sure Witness all the days of my life that I have at this time and this Evening solemnly and with a sincere aim and full purpose of heart unfained consent and joyful satisfaction laid hold on the Covenant of Grace as my own interest relying on my Mediator's help and strength to see it all performed both on behalf of my God and me and into whose hand I leave it who knows the meaning of his own Spirit To this Covenant I say viz. the whole substance thereof and all the expostulations and desires concerning the same with some faith in fear of love to and hope towards him who alone worketh in me to will and to do according to his good pleasure according to that measure which I have received with a trembling joy I consent and do cast my self into his Arms and subscribe it with my own hand never to be revoked Henry Dorney And seeing this is the accepted The Soul explains its Engagement time in which God hath heard me and a day of Salvation in which he hath succoured me I would yet further put on the Bonds of this glorious Freedom as my Robe for ever and further declare that as my God has often repeated the Kernel of his gracious Covenant sometimes in reference to the time to come Ezek. 11. 20. and 36. 38. sometimes in reference to the time present Isa 43. 3 5. Ezek. 34. 30. sometimes speaking of his people Jer. 24. 7. and sometimes speaking to his people Jer. 30. 22. in all which he appears as one setting forth his unlimited Purpose of good things with variety of Illustration and ground of Assurance to all his Confederate People leading them forth to a plentiful way of righteous and abundant application thereof to themselves and for their use in all cases for ever I do also declare that my scope and sense in this my covenanting with God is that through his strength I will disown all rebellings and repinings against his threatnings reproofs and chastisements and that I will disown the stifling of any of his convictions because they are dispensations of his Grace and means whereby to partake more and more of his Holiness Heb. 12. 5 6 10. My scope and sence further is that my heart shall lie open to all the Commands of my God and that I will own them as my Heritage for ever Psal 119. 6 111. that they shall be my joy and delight and love whatever they require Psal 119. 97 111. and that because they are his good pleasure and because I account his Rebukes of all sorts and the Commands of all sorts to be the Representations and Beams of his Righteousness and Holiness Psal 119. 75. Jer. 12. 1. 1 Joh. 2. 29. and the very Rays also of the Covenant of his Grace Psal 119. 75. Here is more work for thee O my blessed Surety thy Grace must needs uphold me in all parts of my duty and perfect that which concerneth me I ground my Promise upon thine Isa 25. 4. Joel 3. 16. I had not durst to have promised these things if thou hadst not first promised to do all my Works in me and for me Isa 26. 12. Psal 57. 2. 1 Thes 5. 24. Put on strength O Arm of the Lord let not thy Name be polluted and my boasting in thee turn to thy Reproach Remember thou art all my strength and life For this end I would multiply all the Commands of God in my eye that under my impossibility of Performance through that contradiction and infirmity that is in my flesh I might be swayed by the spirit of Faith into the perfection of Strength and be able to do all things in Christ who strengthneth me and answereth for me Of all the thousands of God's Commands he never required me to do any of them with my own Arm as the Obedience in which he delights but that I should act in strength every moment received from Christ and so work my Works in God all the days of my life Reveal to thy Covenant-servant O Lord that strength which thou allowest me that I may know where it lies and how to derive it to my self for thy work and service according to the scope of this Covenant which at thy gracious Call I offer up my self unto How dost thou necessitate me to thy Yoke and allure me by a gracious violence of Necessity to delight in having my hands and heart tied with the heart-strings of thy love to thy self in this golden Covenant inextricably and for ever Take me O dearly beloved of my Soul nearer and nearer to thy self till all the shadows be gone that then I may behold thy Face and be satisfied with thy Image Oh how soon am I now dazled from a pure and diligent watchfulness how many precious Minutes do slide away from me Sometimes Food is my Snare and sometimes Abstinence is so too sometimes
before they were committed to your hands leave the thought of them to the Lord whose free Love is like a mighty Deep And Oh that the Course which the Lord takes to mind us that the end of all things is at hand might powerfully dislodge our Hopes Peace and Comfort from an Earthly Rest in low transient things and fix them in him who is the Rock of Ages which we are called to do upon every hand I trust that out-stretched Hand of his will do it that at length we may know no persons according to the Flesh nor things neither Then alone in enjoying the Lord shall you and I enjoy our selves and the reality of every good thing when the shadows flee away Is not your Father better than ten Sons and his teaching Rod than their presence consider it Enquire his Will bless his Name comfort your poor Wife and do not charge God follishly Seek God's Face the more and let your Conversation mount higher and then your loss will be repayed and God will shew you his intent in this This only as a Fellow-feeler of your Cross I present unto you c. 1648. To B. J. D. N o 4. COnsidering mine own weakness and remembring you are in the same Body and withall considering that mutual Communications by Pen or Speech is required to help each other and stir up one another to the relish and practice of Christian Walking I thought fit in meer discharge of duty to represent my present thoughts to you And that I may declare more distinctly the state of my Soul to you I pass by the general Complainings and Bewailings which oftentimes arise from pretended religious Complement or carnal Sloth to a more particular Account I find the Reputation of the World doth much beguile me especially when I have to do with Men neither grosly wicked nor strictly good And I find Intimacy with these Men and in their Actions of Indifferency do plague my Soul with such coldness driness and guilt that methinks sometimes I part from them as Tamar from Amnon full of inward shame and disquiet Let me at any time go out of God's sight to act things though indifferent in their nature yet when Conscience calls for any spiritual duty or discourse methinks 't is like the voice that came to Adam in the Cool of the Day I find also a strange influence upon my heart from the ways of coveting any worldly Advantage Well was this wickedness called Idolatry for it doth importunately draw my ear and draw my eye and heart from the Lord to admire and covet after vain Enjoyments and yet I cannot say that to this day I ever wanted any good thing This I find to be both a deceiving and unprofitable Lust spoiling the comfort of my Soul and not enriching my Body nor ever adding one Cubit to my Stature Nothing doth ever make the thought of any misery miserable to me but the reflections of a betrayed heart and they stare upon me as Delilah did on Sampson when his strength was gone and the Philistins were upon him and then my Soul is as weak as Water But should I go to number up the Deceits that are within me they are innumerable only 't is some ease now and then to open the Imposthume as to God so also to good Men. I know not how far your sense of the same or other infirmities may oppress you but I know you wear about with you the same Nature as I do though I hope more enabled to strive against the Stream of Nature than I am but whatever strength you have I am sure it comes from above and indeed I must needs say and my heart rejoyceth at the mention that I am not forsaken in this Conflict my Redeemer is strong and mine infirmities are judged already and shall not afflict me for ever I am directed to a sure Remedy Psal 37. 3 4 5. and shall lay it before you if your disease be mine viz. to trust in the Lord in well doing only Delight in the Lord and commit your way to him let this Physick have its true work and the Truth of God is engaged for a Recovery Sometimes I am as it were venturing on such a Resignment as this Trusting Delighting and Committing doth signifie and methinks the very Resolution so to do as a Beam of God's Power and Love doth rejoyce my heart in hope Doubtless it is a heavenly Life to give up all our delight our trust and commit all our way unto the Lord and doubtless that is the way to fight against our Lusts with much advantage when we are got above them and in our Resignment to God have engaged him in the Quarrel I know the advantage is very great by some little sparks of it And I never knew that I got power against one Lust of heart or evil way but by being first as it were dissolved into the Lord and then appearing against it in his power When God and I am made one through Christ in opposition to my own sins and am no longer mine own but his and my faith acting through this Union then I must yea and I may say Doth the strength and snares of Temptation vanish at his appearing And happy is that Soul that appears in no other strength but his But while I am writing my heart doth accuse my Pen for hinting an Enjoyment beyond what I have I can only say this something of this I have already tasted and more I earnestly hope for as the only Remedy for a weak captivated dismayed heart I pray let me hear how it fareth with you that we may in the Lord help one another and build up one another in the most holy Faith c. 1648. To B. D. N o 5. THere is no Safety but in God no Refuge Rest or Peace but there and there it is and pity it should be elsewhere that God might still be all in all We are both in his Arms shall finish his Work and not see a day of Vexation longer than the time prefixed us And in this Confidence we are to do our work bear our burthens and not faint Our Labour will be over and our Temptations too Eternal Rest will follow the one and Incorruption the other Dear Brother farewel till next Meeting whether in this World or that to come the Will of our Father be done on us and in us c. 1649. To F. D. N o 6. I Hope there is a Power within you that will never leave purging healing convincing teaching and delivering of you till you can say the Powers the Employments the Labours of this present World are the Lords and his Christs that God is all in all to you and in you Herein lies our Interest viz. against all unworthy undervaluings of our Interest goings forth in our own Strength or Wisdom Carnal Damps of our Zeal coolings of our Intimacy with God courtings of the Creature and so being courted of the Devil in the Creature till
as if he had forgotten were far off did not hear were reserved exceeding ready to take exceptions and such like whereas we may go to a poor lump of Clay where a spark of his Nature dwells and have sometimes a taste of that Affection that is scarce capable of reflecting back any such prejudices or the least shadow of them And the reason is because there is a rooted persuasion of some predominant Principle of Christian spiritual and reciprocal Love O then how seriously should we pray that our hearts might be directed into the Love of Christ and that it may be shed abroad in our hearts A Christ who loves once ever always and to the full he loveth he loved and came he loved and died he loved and proclaimed the everlasting Gospel he loves and pardons he loves and teaches he loves and reproves he loves and holds fast for ever he loves and saves When a Soul is sunk as deep as Hell in sin and filth in love he redeems that Soul as out of a Jaques and is not ashamed nor thinks it much to cleanse it again because Love constrains him All his ways not one excepted are Mercy and Truth to them that fear him He has a noble and surmounting Love not capable of Melancholy Misprision or Mistake He knew all the defects of his Spouse before he betrothed himself to her in loving Kindness and tender Mercies And he so far abhors the declining of his Love that the very beholding of any defect there inflames his heart to remove it that he may present her to himself without spot When we have any Agony against our sins doth this come from the Flesh Is it not purely the Lord's Arm What shall I say The Lord reveal himself that we may purely rejoyce in God our Maker and cling upon him in the vertue and power of his own unsearchable and endless Grace and Love I long for other Society than I can have here few Friends here and little help especially as to that Interest in which you and I are most concerned but there is a River that never dries up and a Counsellor that never fails I am yet in health and as to outward freedom as it was when I came hither first but not without some daily Exercises but my chief Adversary lurks within which God will one day destroy and all Warfare will be over Let us pray to him for each other for it is not in vain 1662. To B. D. N o 64. AS for all things that relate to this and the next Life the Lord help you and I and all his People fully to commit our selves into the hands of GOd in the name and interest of Christ who is Lord of Quick and Dead He who hath said In nothing be careful Cast your burthen on the Lord and that All things shall turn for good to them that love him and he that hath said I will never leave you nor forsake you certainly he cannot forget his own Word Oh that we had Faith to believe it Let the great business of Faith be our work every day and night I leave you to him who is able to teach help and save c. 1662. To T. N. N o 65. DEar Sir However it goes with you I trust you have no reason to count your self alone whilst so good a Friend hath said I will be with you in the fire and water When we are at any plunge then is a time to act Scripture-Reason and not worldly Reason and draw such Conclusions in reference to Soul and Body as the Wisdom and Truth of God doth teach The Lord make his Furnace to be purifying at this day Some in one kind some in another have their various Trials but the Father of Mercies doth govern the matter so that at the Close it shall be well with the Righteous Let us labour with might and main to keep up good thoughts of God and the glory of our Interest in him Though the Heaven and Earth do shake the sense of his Covenant cannot change his Son cannot be dethroned nor the Promises of his Grace and Presence turn into the Blood of a dead Man Clouds may darken the Sun as to us but they can never diminish the natural light of the Sun nor stop its Course The Sun is as nigh the Earth when Clouds do interpose as it was before and our dear Lord is now as near his afflicted ones as when the Branch of earthly things was never so green in their hands Faith Repentance Love to the Lord Jesus are glorious Ornaments for a Pilgrim travelling towards that City that hath Foundations Sir I know not how it fares with you but I doubt not but it goes well For can any dealings of an infinite wise God a faithful and gracious Father be amiss seeing he has promised and will not fail to give Grace and Glory and will with-hold no good thing from them that fear him Let us not deny his Truth by Unbelief nor his Love by a lowring Dispondency of heart however the Waves rise and swell he is above them and the great Redemption is near 1662. To B. D. N o 66. YOur welfare is amongst the chiefest of my desires in this World and if the Afflictive Providence of God doth still remain be not dismayed yea if it increaseth let not a disponding heart put the Lie upon any Promise God hath made he is not a cruel Father his Bowels are tender but our misgiving hearts are they that are apt to plunge us Had we more dexterity in believing we might steer a comfortable Course when all sight of dry Land is out of sight And such a Faith is God's Gift who has promised us every good thing Let us both go to the Creator of the ends of the Earth for Faith and by Faith wait for more Faith that we may ride out the Storm and not be ashamed or wearied out under the Cross How 't is with you I know not but I have much confidence you are in as safe hands and in the bosom of as tender love as ever did shine upon you in the days of more earthly fulness and that the gracious Goodness of God and his unsensible Wisdom has ordered this present state of Affairs to exercise you withal One half hours time beyond Mortality will make amends for all and we are hastening to it and I trust at present freely entitled to the unalterable love of God who will never leave nor forsake to pity and succour the Off-spring of his own Grace If the Lord favour me with his Counsel and give me the Shield of his Presence I shall not be at a loss I dare not give way to hard thoughts of him but rather to covet after a greater freedom of Resignation to his sweet pleasure 1662. To B. D. N o 67. I Am affected with your trouble and yet comforted in your faith and comfort But who makes Rivers run in the Desart knows how to refresh the dry
Grace and Favour and the Consolation of his Spirit I commit you and rest c. 1674. To E. D. N o 120. LEt your Consideration feed on the quickning Truths of the Gospel flying to and relying on Christ who is the Arm of the Lord rejoycing in him who requires you to cast every depressing burthen from your self upon him that is true Gospel-Method and you shall not be disappointed Faithful is God who hath called you into the Fellowship of his dear Son and thereby you have ground of Boldness to enter in within the Vail and he has promised you shall never be cast out for your Iniquities he will remember them no more and though the Cross be somewhat difficult to bear yet the Reserve at last will fully recompence all and therefore lift up your head for Redemption is coming We are troubled at the Troubles the Churches meet with in and elsewhere 'T is a sad day when the Word of Salvation comes to be suppressed by Souls that must perish without it Our business is chearfully and humbly to prepare for greater Shocks Nearness to God in Christ is the safest and sweetest Sanctuary 1675. To E. D. N o 121. I Have not received any Letter from you for divers Weeks which is not a little afflictive You are upon our hearts and we cease not the particular mention of you in our Prayers Sometimes I fear your Body lies under such extremity that you cannot write and sometimes I am willing to relieve my thoughts by supposing if it were so I might at least have a Letter from S. H. But though I know not your present Case yet I know my God and your God has you under his own Love and Care His great design for his own Glory and your and my Good is to instruct us and lead us into the Life of Resignation and Dependance singly and fully upon himself saving Light Faith and Truth is the very Lesson he is calling upon me and drawing me to own and Oh for some good Proficiency in this Learning nothing so sweet nothing so secure and nothing so compleatly advantagious I left the Lady J. this Afternoon very near in appearance to a Dissolution and A. P. breathing and waiting for her Change Happy Souls who chuse that part that shall never be taken away but abide through Death unto Life in Perfection c. I doubt not where you are but you will have the good Presence of God that is both a Sun and a Shield and withal he will with-hold no good thing from you seeing he has given you to his Son and his Son to you who will cause you to have an upright scope towards the Law of that blessed Relation which is the Condition of that Promise To the Shadow of whose Wing I commend both you and my Sister longing to hear of her Recovery if the Lord please but she is in a Fathers hand and under her Fathers care and love in Sickness and Health living and dying nothing can come amiss to those that love him and sell themselves perfectly away to him as I am persuaded she has done and can rejoyce in that blessed Bargain A Contract made by and through Christ the faithful Witness and watchful prevalent Advocate and however outward Dispensations and Providences do work they will work together for good because his Love Mercy and Truth endureth for ever where the Eye of his Favour once fixeth he never takes it off the tokens of which Favour you have through his free Grace had some taste of that thereby you may be led and helped to hope perfectly to the end and humbly rejoyce in the Hope of the Glory of God in what method soever he is pleased to act in the way of his fatherly Discipline He is omnipotently universally and continually good in himself and in the Communications of his Goodness to his People waiting in him and trusting in him To him I commend you daily and with him I leave you c. 1675. To B. D. N o 122. IN my last I acquainted you of the weakness of my Daughter Elizabeth at which time she continued with an intermixing of Revivings now and then and much refreshment as to the state of her Soul and things eternal and in the Doctor 's Opinion in some good hope of Recovery until the 5th Instant December being the Sabbath Day and then the Doctors saw that the Lord had determined otherwise and that Evening he called her to himself The loss of whose Company is not only a piercing Affliction to my self c. but lamented by divers others who had experience of that worth which God himself had graciously beautified her Soul with He is most wise Oh that he would cause me distinctly to hear his Voice herein and to improve it to the utmost use he intends it for It is your own Affliction that you are by the Providence of God held there so long at that distance from us under so many Trials of your Faith and Patience on every hand which as the Lord is pleased to help I am with my weak measure often presenting before him that he would bear up your heart and assist you as he hath hitherto done to go through the residue of your Exercise in this Pilgrimage And commending you to his Grace Strength Counsel and Blessing I remain c. 1675. To M. D. N o 123. I Know you are with loving Friends and in the hands and care of a gracious Father Endeavour to refresh your Soul in the thoughts of him and his dear Son and in the Promise that all shall work together for good to you for he is faithful that promised and his ways have been and will be Mercy and Truth towards you Love him believe him and be careful in nothing but how to please him and say Shall not I drink of the Cup my Father gives c. Hitherto the Lord hath kept me and I want nothing more than his sanctifying and gracicious Presence with me all along Travelling work doth greatly disorder my thoughts as to that savoury Composedness which I long for My poor Soul greatly suffers by the toilsomness of Travel yet still The Lord is good and his Mercy endureth for ever 1676. To J. L. N o 124. Some years have now passed without the Intercourse of any Letter between us I should be glad our old Acquaintance might not quite die while we live and continue here How 't is with you I know not but for my own part I have and do pass my Pilgrimage here thorow a Thorny Wilderness of Cares Difficulties and Temptations all along and do expect no other till I leave my sinful Nature and a dark defiled World behind me for I have abundant daily proof that this lower State is not my Rest but I wait and hope for that Rest which remaineth I am stricken in Years being now in the 64th Year of my Age and through the Riches of free Grace and that alone sailing towards the end
Lord's Vineyard Dear Cousin the Lord is pleased to use many ways and means to cause us to make the utmost improvement of Seasons and Opportunities of Grace and gives many Motives thereto amongst which this is one that the Prophets do not live for ever and therefore he requires us to make speed while the day of Grace and while the time of Life continues that we may not be found naked and unready when our Summons from hence by Death shall be sent us I have not arrived to the length of your days but the effects of old Age are much upon me and the shadows of the Evening have begun to appear therefore as it is always so especially it is needful for you and I that are almost at the utmost bounds of our time to look into and much to strive after the real and essential parts of Godliness which lies much in this viz. To ponder the Corruption of our own Nature and the Contradiction that it stands in against the pure Nature of God and his revealed Will till we arrive at such a Self-Abhorrence and Dispondence of any Relief which we can derive from whatever we are or whatever we can do as of our selves that we may betake our selves entirely and perfectly to the Grace revealed in Christ casting our Anchor of Hope there and there only flying to the Merits of Christ and his single Righteousness in the vertue and under the Covering whereof to appear before him when all Flesh shall stand and receive their unalterable Sentence that then we may have the comfortable Happiness of that good Word There is no Condemnation to those that are in Christ I cannot at present add more only this Let none of your past or present Troubles of what kind soever hinder your rejoycing in your gracious God and Saviour who hath fed you all your Life long and will be your God and your Guide and as I am abundantly persuaded you will find him according to all that he hath promised your exceeding great Reward when the days of Rest and endless Refreshing shall come I commit you to the gracious Guidance of God and the comfortable Fellowship and Communion of his Holy Spirit I pray for you and desire to be remembred also by you in your Prayers unto the God of all Grace even our own God and Father Under whose Wing I desire to leave you and remain c. 1681. To C. E. D. N o 129. GOd has been pleased to continue your Life unto a great length of days and though your outward Man hath been withering yet blessed be God I perceive your inward Man hath been assisted by his good Spirit hitherto to make a happy Voyage to the Haven of true Rest The Lord in Mercy accompany you through the remaining part of your Voyage till you enter safely into the Harbour and be setled in the Mansions which Christ is gone before to prepare for you I have my self much Infirmity of Body and am in daily Combat with the Corruption and Vileness of my own heart from which I hope through the Riches of free Grace to be ere long delivered and I have an abundant hope as to the same concerning your self Cast your eye upon the great Mediator roll your self upon him for he will never leave you nor forsake you One days Communion with God without all Sin in that Heavenly Country will make you full amends for all the difficulties you have passed through in your earthly Pilgrimage And though I am not like to see you in this World I hope through the Grace of the everlasting Covenant to see you where there will be neither Sin nor old Age c. to molest either you or me any more Dear Cousin the Arms of Divine Love Grace and Mercy be continually embracing you I can now add no more but do commend you into the hands of that God whose I am persuaded you are and whom you serve My affectionate Respects to your self and all your Relations and that Seed of God which he hath been pleased to plant in your Neighborhood I remain your affectionate Kinsman and Brother in Christ c. 1682. To B. D. N o 130. I Received yours from Tunbridge Wells c. and I think those who advise you to be as little thoughtful as you can while you drink the Waters do give you friendly Advice It may much concur to your health to be rather chearful than to be serious in the use of them for I know you have that matter within you through the Riches of Grace to render you chearful in the Lord. We must remember our Bodies as well as our Souls are redeemed and the very Body of a Believer is Christ's more than his own and what you do for the support of the meer Body is acceptable to God and especially under that Infirmity which you chiefly went thither for The Lord bless the Means which his Providence hath directed you to and be always with your Spirit c. Speeches and Prayers of Mr. Henry Dorney in his last Sickness from the 11th of March 1682 3. to the 25th of April following when he died being the Seventieth Year of his Age. I Am passing and I long to pass meaning through Death O Faith Faith that would bring down Heaven to Earth and carry the Soul up to Heaven I would willingly go out of Self and place the Soul wholly in God he calls me to come away saying Come up hither To a Friend asking whether Satan troubled him he answered No not at all Christ doth not suffer him so much as to peep in To the same saying What Counsel would you give us His Answer was Give up your selves to God perfectly Walk in the purest strictest closest Converse with him Be in the Life and Power of Holiness and that will Steel the Soul against all Temptations and Difficulties And let things be transacted throughly betwixt God and the Soul as if you were to appear presently at the Bar of Christ And let this be done incessantly To the same again asking Sir God seems to deny his Blessing upon the Means for your Recovery and you are not like to continue long with us He replied Blessed be the Lord Blessed be the Lord It is some Refreshment to me to think that the comfortable Minute of my sliding off is so near at hand The Saints and People of God that ever lived besides Enoch and Elijah pass'd through Death and it is needful it should be so for then all Dirt and Filth will be carried off And to one speaking to him of a good Conscience he said Ah how many are there that are now laying in Matter that will be one day wringing of hands and distress of heart unto them O my unchangeable God blessed be his Name that ever he treated with me and that he gave me time and Grace to transact things betwixt him and me and though now I can do little I am persuaded he loves me because he hath made
terrible to me nor to any of the Race thou hast redeemed from Death Let the Agonies of Death be pleasing to me in Christ Oh the Dolour the unspeakable Anger of God we have not drank of it O the intollerable Wrath of God born by that Man meaning Jesus Christ O the woful Travel of Christ we have took up but a little of it and that hath made Repentance slight and holy Care trivial And now O Lord thou reckonest with me for undervaluing of that bloody Agony Lord forgive me my Guilt in this thing I have not been a Christian in earnest as I ought Oh he that made himself the bottom of all sorrow he suffered infinitely Oh such a Redeemer Oh such a Redeemer alas how unsuitable have I been to him Lord pardon my unsuitableness I have been as a Beast before thee I have not come up to answer the Call of that unutterable Grace And now O Lord I cannot stand in the Battel I cannot now the Arrows of Death stick in my Flesh and I cannot bear it without great Concussions of Soul within me But O! O! O thou who art the God of all Grace who art got upon the Kingdom of Grace and art the Head of that Kingdom wilt thou now shew thy Glory Make Death sweet make the Tendencies to Death sweet make every step to Deliverance a pleasing step O my God Save thy Worm save thy Worm O my God according to thy Promises made to Jacob I hearken what the Lord will say he will speak Peace in the Blood of Jesus Sustain me O Lord sustain me Thou art my Friend as thou spakest to Abraham thou art my Friend Dost thou love me Dost thou at this time love me with thy whole heart and with thy whole Soul Dost thou love me more than my nearest and dearest Friends Than those intimate Relations here that continue with me in my Tribulation With a more inward intense Love with an Infiniteness beyond all these Lord let me know that thou lovest me in very Deed let me know that thou knowest me by Name let me know that thou hast an eye upon me more than Doctors and Friends let me know that every Act of thine towards me is the effect of thy Love Love me Oh now with thy whole heart Oh make me to believe it Help me to apprehend that thou dost take notice of me and art with me every Moment with me as to my present Case and Concernment 'T is dead Friendship when Friends cannot hear nor see one another but sure there is another Friendship between thee and thine and thou standest in Relations to them Art not thou my Father Hath not the Church said so Lord thou art our Father Thou art my Husband my Brother my Friend and art not ashamed to be called my Brother Oh wonderful Thou begattest me I am born of thee Lord what shall I do with the great things of the Gospel if thou dost not give forth the Spirit of Faith O Lord wilt thou who art Truth who art Life who art certain wilt thou take the great work of my practical Religion upon thee Thou canst make it to be in Power and Truth unto me as may answer the very design thou aimest at I have been praying through the days of thy drawing me after thee O Lord I would come to that kind of praying while I am here in the World as might be a lovely Copy of that praying of that Converse that will be with thee in Heaven Will Prayer altogether cease in Heaven No surely Lord glorifie thy self glorifie thy self glorified be God Oh Oh that the very Life and Soul of that state then may now be begun Oh that I might hasten to that state Thou detainest me here in thy Wisdom I would go unto thee and into that Life which will most glorifie thee eternally I would go where Life is and no Death I would go where the fullest expressions of the power of Grace overcoming Sinners may be patent and manifest in me even in me who am a poor Mortal There be many things that I have found here that are Likenesses to pure Likeness to thee and here I have lost wofully my way Lord open it The heart is deceitful above all things and it will have its working one way or other but Lord I would go where there is Purity I would go where there is Purity without Impurity I would be with thee Lord for then I can speak to thee in thine own Language better At about Two of the Clock that day in the Afternoon he further extended his Speech as followeth The old World will be the old World still it will remain to Eternity it will be only translated from hence where it received its Curse to Hell to be in Chains of Darkness for ever but all the redeemed number shall be instated in their Palaces of Glory I am in the very Period of Wonders I am in the very Period of viewing Death and Life I am under some Sufferings and they shall be sweet And speaking to himself said Thou shalt lie down in thy Bed And then speaking to God Thou wilt not throw me into the Grave in Anger thou wilt put me into the Grave Thou wilt not say Sleep there in Death thou wilt say Sleep there a little till the Indignation be over-past till that is inflicted on thee for Sin which was pronounced and that that passed away from Christ shall pass from me Lord thou wilt not be unfaithful to thy Word God cannot lie God cannot forget to be gracious he cannot forget his own Work This is that God I desire to believe in and resolve eternally to cling upon with the Truth of my whole heart I have sinned and thou hast pardoned me and saved me with a high hand Help me in this hour take away my fears The last stroak that will be given will be by the Devil himself because it is his last Battel and thou wilt permit him but thou wilt bind him and when thou hast unclinch'd his hands he shall never clinch again He is that last Enemy from Conversion to Salvation Lord wilt thou who hast been destroying this Enmity all along now cause his Enmity to appear to be destroyed and turned into Powder and Rottenness O Have at it have at it I pray thee The strength the might the power of the Life of Sin and Darkness Lord thou didst promise to plague Antichrist for all the Plagues that he hath plagued thine O Lord do thou pour out thy Plagues upon him whilst thou dost sustain him to be fighting his last Battel Let him fight his Battel but let him O God drink of the Rivers of thy Wrath along with it Let the Weak overcome the Strong let thy People be Lyons but let the Devil be an enfeebled Enemy Serve thy self of all thy Instruments whatever they are Lord let them do thee the utmost Service of their Capacity Thy proper Instruments Oh make them glorious make them
glorious both in Qualification and Action and those that are improper Instruments that are not Instruments of thy delight cause them to do thy Will for all that work that is proper for them and proper to be used upon thy People for the intents of thy Glory towards them so that the Work of God may thrive in the World and thy Glory be mightily exalted O thy Majesty thy Kingdom thy Greatness and Excellency Oh that thou wouldst be wonderfully glorious in thy Actings Thy Nature is so and thy Actings do proceed from infinite Excellency and Glory Oh let God be glorified Oh let God be glorified And now thou hast brought me and others forth at the Close of the World we lay asleep in silence we were not formed in the Womb till of late and much of the great Volume of the World thou hadst past away before we saw it and now we come at the Close into the World a while that we may stand in our Lots and appear to be the Tokens of thy Remembrance of us before the Volumes of many Generations Now thou hast me upon the Stage and hast had me long and now thou seemest to be taking me hence O Lord thousands of Kindnesses I have had from thee and thou hast not had from me any suitable Thanks O Lord take me out of this Body send me into the Land of Truth where there is nothing but Purity Holiness and Righteousness Sometimes I begin a little to be amazed at my unsuitable Actings towards thee in the day of Grace But Lord thou wouldst carry things so that I might know my Case saved indeed The best of all good things thou hast given me and thou hast preserved me whole but alas I must travel all the way with a dead Carcase and be within the scent the stench of it Ah woful Savour And this hath made grievous Spoil Thou savest me and yet I carry that along with me that is my constant Destruction as a continual Combatant till I see thy Salvation Thou lovest me all over and hatest the least Sin that is in me all over And now Lord thou comest to shew me what the Issue of these things are Little thou shewest me yet that little is glorious Oh for the Son of God to come into the World to be joyned to me in the nearest Conjunction to assume the same Nature and to unite me to himself that he might display the insuperable Power of his own Righteousness for my Righteousness for my Justification We have reason to think the Heavens will declare it even this to an Eternity and this is past upon me I can hardly endure a little at a Dissolution But O the power the strength the greatness of this great Glory things out of my sight and but a little before me Oh what are they and where are they that have the whole Shine of the Grace of the Gospel upon them Where they are thou knowest and every one of thy number shall know they are not lost they are treasured up Lord help me throughout this little Period of Suffering Here I am seeming to me to be just taking leave of this poor Body that hath been wandring up and down some Years Dear God wilt thou be pleased to help me Thou helpedst me all along now help me that I may have such thoughts as becomes an Heir of Life that my Faith may not fail that my Soul may not be desolate that my Mind may not be dark Lord save me from the wonted Assaults of Satan now I know not for how many days or how many nights thou hast designed me Dear Lord let me have thy special Presence with me and a heart formed to thy Contrivance and let me not contrive for my self I know not the effects of this night If I shall period my days this night let it be in Divine Rest I have no other Period but to be in God to be in Christ There is no Issue of this Conflict but to overcome by the Blood of the Lamb. Now I leave my self with thee be with me and be with all thy dear Zion Be with that beloved Spouze whom thou hast redeemed from the Earth and this by means of the Contrivance of thy Grace in Christ who lives and will live and is the beginning of the Creation of God and was ever so There is a Promise of Truth fulfil it O true God My People shall be all holy verifie it O God verifie thine own Truth thy Word hath said it My People shall be all holy Lord thou hast a People thou hast sure a People and thy People thou hast said shall be known or else there would be no discovery of thy Truth in Promises of thy Truth in Threatnings And O Lord this thou hast said that there is the greatest difference between thy People and their Concerns and others that ever was Thou wilt be known in Jacob Now Lord be thou pleased to make it known that we are thine and let it be made known to all We were tricked and beguiled away from thee at first but now we are grafted into Life by that that was not a Slight but a Reallity the mightiest Reality that ever Sun Moon and Stars saw that ever Angels saw that is the thing I yearn towards I rest me in God here a little while I am in the Spirit waiting minutely momently when he will say Come and retire to be with me eternally Oh that I should see the Door a little aslope a little ajar he hath promised it no where as I know but in a way of opening yea wide open to give Deliverance because his very heart is in it With him are no half-opened Doors nor half-hearted Entertainment Yet a little while and we shall say that Fulness is come and the Compleatment of all All Israel shall be saved and that will come on creeping apace now now it is coming to me Oh now let there be no blind Child of God Oh now no lazy Child of God Oh now for winged Saints Oh for those that mount and soar that may answer what hath been promised in the Book of the Revelation The Spirit will have a time to do it when Sloth shall be by the Spirit of Life turned into Industry when the Love of God shall be seven times more when the Glory of Christ's Image shall be as when the Sun shineth seven times brighter Will God always be scarcely known in the Earth Will the God of all that Grace that shines in Men be himself obscured No no. How kind is he to poor Sinners in this dim state He longs to be glorified and to glorifie himself and his Children shall be like their high Calling And Oh that this might make my Soul insatiably longing for this Purity in its fulness I adore him for any little Thirst O the good time when the Heavens shall shrill with the Voices of all the Redeemed Hearts and Tongues O the Melody when every redeemed Tongue shall
be able to speak to the hearing of the ends of the whole Heavens O the Melody of that great day when Saints and Angels innumerable shall be the Pronouncers Oh never such Melody Melody that may be heard Millions of Years Millions of Miles O Lord keep me in my present work till thou callest me to future work and prepare me for the glorifying of thee for ever Help me in this instant help me leave me not now help me through this Thicket graciously Lord graciously deal with me at my Dissolution that nothing but Actings of Love and Grace may be shining upon Me. I leave me with thee I desire to do it perfectly April 19. He spake to one that had watched with him the foregoing Night You see how it is with me You are young the Lord affect your heart with a true sense of your eternal State that you may not be befooled of your immortal Soul by a tempting Devil and a tempting World Some space after he took occasion to say It makes my Soul ashamed within me sometimes that I have had the whole Book of all God's Promises and Covenant before me and do believe that there is mine Inheritance and yet to be in such a posture as I am Alas to be made the Children of the Most High and to live like Fools it should make the Soul long to have the utmost of the Grace promised I expect every night and every day and every piece of a day to be gone that when-ever any Qualm comes upon me I am ready to think this is the time and yet I find in my self a natural Reluctancy against Death that I would and I would not but where-ever my Damp my Black my Disquiet is it ariseth from some Tardiness in my Soul to my God I have a great desire to be freed from my Burthens and to be in that State I greatly long for but yet I would willingly that God should pitch my Stakes and determine the matter God's Wisdom and his Goodness goes together for God's Attributes do not cross one another I ought to have a Manly Walk with God it is not a crouching crimbling childish foolish unexpert Walk By Manly I mean to weigh things as they are in the grave Discovery of Scripture Surely I long to be in the Fountain to see it and be for ever in it To one asking him how he did he said It is a great Mercy that my Mind abides in any Conjuncture and that the Wheels of the Clock do not fall all out of order I cannot now converse but I think the Trade meaning the Heavenly Trade goes on and the Lord make it a smart Trade Lord teach me how frail I am all things are best known by Experience as Learning is obtained by Observation Rules and Precepts April 20. Finding himself exceeding faint and weak said I could now lie down and say This is my last if the Lord saw it fit having much ado to retain Life To a Christian Friend that came to visit him he said Blessed be the Lord for the Covenant of Grace and the Surety of that Covenant where our stay is All Goodness all Mercy all Peace c. The way and method God takes he himself hath cut out but what his scope is in this my present Case I do not know Afterward it being told him of the death of an aged Relation who lived to above fourscore Years he spake to this effect Is he dead with whom I never had the opportunity seriously to converse with in the things of a spiritual World Surely this is the time to do any thing for God and to be helpful to others The Lord bless the Providence to that poor Woman his Wife To another Friend taking leave and saying The Lord be with you I hope he will carry you to your Journeys end he replied I hope he will I believe he will never leave me nor forsake me To another poor Christian he gave this Counsel Cling upon Christ and he will never leave you I cannot say much but be sure of that follow hard after Christ and he will never leave you That is all my Experience all that I have been a learning of the Truth and Faithfulness of God these scores of Years Only love him only obey him entirely seek him pray to him much for that is the only likeliest way and I never heard of any that did it faithfully and was lost Then he prayed O my God be near me suffer nothing to miscarry through the All-sufficiency of thy infinitely great Grace To a dear Friend that came to visit him telling him that he was very much upon the hearts of the People of God who prayed for him he replied these words That one heart of Christ sets other hearts awork He farther said I am glad to see you upon account of former Intimacy but I chiefly rejoyce that you have found the same God in Prayer that I have done and that you are hankering after the same Fountain and Spring and cannot live without it as God hath given me also an unwearied Reach after and upon these Grounds I am glad to see you My dear Friend fare you well the Lord be with you To a Relation he spake thus Spring to Heaven though for your springing you spring out of the Body and leave it behind you Let us look to it lest you and I fall short of our Hope Multitudes of Professors standing aloof off have lost their way they have lost their work they have lost their end Our opportunity is as clear in our hand now as ever it was in the hand of David or Paul or any of the Saints of God that lived before us Oh how do I love to see Grace grow in Friends in Relations c. The Lord be with you and carry you and make your Affliction to be a sanctified Affliction that in a little while you may not have any burthen but may see your Salvation and have it April 21. To another Visitant he spake thus I may not stand wondering meaning in reference to his long Sickness but yet I may wonder indeed that ever God made me a Man that ever he made me a rational Creature that ever he brought me forth into the World where the Gospel was and that he hath told me that he will save me for ever Oh that I could wonder admire and adore it You duggle up and down and so I have done heretofore and here we walk over but a little Ground and if we obtain little or much it is but a little got in a little Ground and we have therein trouble But Oh what is it to flee over the whole Heavens and to be every where in God and in Christ In all other good things relating only to this Life all the pleasure we have in seeking them is to think how pleasurable they will be to us when obtained But the delight and pleasure of spiritual things lie much in the very seeking of them
O Lord wilt thou look down O let not our Seed our Kindred our Relations be a means to fill the Kingdom of Satan further and further We look upon some of our Relations sometimes and there we cannot see the Likeness of Christ the powerful working of their turning unto God we cannot see any thing to give us any assurance or to give us good hope through Grace that there is a happy Eternity abiding them Oh that thou wouldst lessen the Devil's Kingdom and enlarge Christ's Kingdom Why should not the Word in the power of it be received O Lord fall in privately in Retirement upon the hearts of such poor Creatures whom we love but cannot save but thou canst And thou art our God and we love thee and we beg it of thee that thou mayst have a mighty increased Host to sing thy praise for ever and that our Relations may be part thereof considerably We have prayed little for one another in the Spirit for we have done but little work for thee Oh that an Afternoon Prayer may come up before thee and be heard Oh! oh oh while we can let our hearts bleed over sinners that live in their sins Christ had nothing to do but to save Souls in all his Travelling in the World Oh that Salvation may be unto us the great desirable thing the salvation of our own Souls and the Salvation of others It is a great thing to be going just into eternal Fetters and to be going just into eternal Freedom It is a great thing to be going just into the eternal Pound and to be going just into eternal Liberation and every one of us is going and shall go and cannot avoid it into one of these We must in among the damned for ever or in among the saved for ever there is no medium no manner of medium between one and the other Oh for Wisdom Oh for Wisdom we talk freely one to another we are Friends we have delight one in another we visit one another in our well-being in our ill-being we sympathize one with another but all of us one as well as another must pass through this great Trial and these great things there will be no stop no hindrance We have and do approve of one another with some respect but Oh nothing but Truth in the inward parts nothing but coming up to the very mind of the Spirit of God Let the Grace of Christ now be pursued hugely infinitely lets know one another but in the Lord love one another regard one another respect one another only in the Lord and through him and for him and to him O Lord the faculties of Humane Nature will not be disabled when the perfect state comes which are now disabled by sin and disabled by Infirmities Thus now you see my Soul having objects before mine Eye of a great nature and finding my self greatly incompetent for them I grope about them for I know it is my dear and only concern I would not dye like a fool and I would have all my loving Friends partake of that goodness which I have had perswasion and have perswasion doth lye in a sincere closure with those Spiritual things I do insist on it and say my full Faith is in this That whosoever doth reject this Salvation shall have no place in it and whosoever doth not with a whole heart set out for it shall not know it and whosoever shall indeed give a turn over to the Lord for it and commit it self unto God to be tryed to be taught and to be lead such a Soul shall not at all lose the good of it nor any part of the good of it and having this confidence I desire to set me to cling to him who hath called me some years ago and in some measure by his Grace I have heard the Call and accepted it He then directed his Speech to some of his near Relations then present more particularly by way of Counsel c. in such words as these Dear Sister Remember me to your Son and pray tell him from me that I long for his Salvation and let it not be unpleasing news to him that the SCRIPTURE must be his Rule and Delight otherwise he will perish eternally Every thought I have of him doth come with a great weight upon me and my very Bowels do even bleed towards him and it would be glorious News to me to hear that the Almighty had got a compleat victory over his Heart O Lord come in upon his Soul that there may be no dismal perishing Ah ah we have had our days of Friendliness together Lord grant that none of us may be separated each from other with a doleful separation Oh! Oh! that Divine Grace may come with power and do that which our hearts could not be aware of He is the object of our pity oh that he may be the object of God's pity he is able to bound him he can give a broken Leg some stroak upon the outward Man some sickness some providence that may have a Mighty Teaching voice I have often thought God may cause his Conversion work to ring to the Glory of God Oh that you and others may pray greatly And that that poor young Woman may not be as a nullity neither but as one filled with the fruits of the Spirit that Grace may revive in that Family Oh Grace Grace Grace nothing maules down vanity and vileness but the Majesty of Grace Dear Sister now do you set on work we are yet upon pardoning ground Pray much Give away your self to God in length and breadth The Lord make you the brokenedst hearted one and the wisest woman about this Town Rummidge over your Religion again and see whether it come up kindly to the MARK I may say my Soul doth dearly love you and whenever I see you my heart doth in some degree spring a little For my poor sake look out for a TRUE LODGING Well I leave it with you I shall see you shortly again at the Judgment-seat of God I leave this with him my purposes my designs my aymes with him who is holy and sin pardoning His Counsel to his Wife was in these words God hath given you his precious Grace walk humbly labour in all things to come to the very life of it in Religion And I have much perswasion that God will bring this Child meaning his only Daughter in within the Covenant Your great danger is your unbelief there lyes your great danger you have in my observation true Faith strong Faith and yet not ready to put forth in all Cases 't is of a right Grain and it hath the concomitant to it singleness of heart Be Practical be Practical that you be putting of it out every minute for I do think there is a very dear indulgence between Christ and your Soul you have been born down with many cares with many scatterings of heart and Christ hath pittied you under it and owned you under it He hath
Office with his Ordination to Fitness for and Discharge of it Whence his Faith is maintained and strengthned accompanied with a sense of his Guilt and Impotence which every where he expresseth frequently bewailing the Corruption of Nature How doth that Faith exert it self in great love to desires after and delight in Christ with an exact and universal Obedience to his commanding Will and a meek and patient Resignation to his afflicting Will. The whole of which very clearly manifests his most serious and earnest Concernment about eternal things and serves to disprove those who believe that Religion is nothing else but a grand piece of Hypocrisie Such Instances tend to check the growing Infidelity and Atheism of the present Age wherein Religion is thought to be but an Artifice of State the Policy of Princes entertained only by the many and rejected by the more Intelligent It serves also to awaken those that are sincere to a more vigorous Exercise of Grace What one hath attained to others may the same Principles of Holiness lie open to all And that what is said may be more convincing a CHARACTER of the AVTHOR is adjoyned wherein the efficacy of his Meditations is most sensibly exemplified drawn up in the Straits of time by a private hand who was intimately acquainted with him throughout his Life and if in it there be any thing defective 't is not to be imputed to him whose CHARACTER it is but the Imperfection or Vnskilfulness of the Hand that did attempt to draw it who hath composed it without the Methods of Art or curious Ornaments of Phrase But suited it to the plainness of the AVTHOR expressed both in his Life and the following Composures J. H. T. R. THE LIFE OF Mr. HENRY DORNEY HE was born in the Year 1613. at Vley in the County of Gloucester and was the fifth Child and Son of Mr. Thomas Dorney Gent. and Joanna his Wife both very religious and had a numerous Issue in all eleven Children towards whom they had a most tender and Parental Care and were industriously diligent in bringing them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord. Their eldest Son was bred a Scholar at Oxford and placed at the Inns of Court and after he became a Barrister continued in the Practice of the Law until he died Their second and third Sons deceased in their Infancy and Minority Their fourth Son also was bred a Scholar and entred upon the Ministerial Function dying in the Flower of his Age whom the Lord was pleased to bless with a great degree of profound Learning and Insight into sacred Mysteries beautified with a super-abundant measure of Divine Grace who kept a constant Dyary of his Life But it is the fifth Son Mr. Henry Dorney who is the Subject of this following CHARACTER After he had been Religiously educated by his Parents and furthered in Learning at Country-Schools he was about the fourteenth Year of his Age brought up to London where he spent much of his time with them in Attendance on the publick Ordinances of God's Word and Worship at the Morning and Weekly Lectures beside the Solemnities of Worship on the Lord's Day At which time as judged began the work of God's Grace effectually to seize on his heart And after a short Continuance in London he retired again into the Country in the Pursuance of Humane Learning and was at length setled at Newbury Free-School where in a Years time or little more he thrived so swift in Learning that he became compleatly fit for the University But for some Cogent Reasons his Father with his own Consent he being always very obsequious thought it more convenient to dispose of him to a Trade In Attendance on which and all along in the variety of outward Changes in the Course of his Life and amidst his busiest Secular Affairs and Employments he yet kept the Rudiments of his School-Learning applying himself with great diligence as he had spare time to perfect his Studies in the Original Tongues wherein he was very expert and accurate especially in the Hebrew and retained an exact knowledge of them to his dying day With respect to his Natural His Natural Abilities Abilities he had a quick Fancy and Invention a ripe Wit a tenacious Memory a large Understanding and a profound Judgment His natural Temper was Grave His Natural Temper Amiable Affable he had Sweetness mixt with Gravity and Chearfulness mixt with Seriousness much condemning an affected Melancholy and Reservedness He had an undaunted Courage tempered with Meekness and seldom if ever seen discomposed with Passion of any sort He was plain-hearted kind sociable not at all Loquacious or given to much Talk yet not sparing to speak when and where he saw it needful and had a Call thereto He affected not Moroseness on the one hand nor was he complemental on the other yet courteous towards all and used Flattery to none either in Speech or Action When he approached to God His Religious Duties in Duty it seemed to be with a great Awe upon his Spirit withdrawing his Mind from every thing that might distract him especially in Prayer endeavouring to do what he did as in God's sight with spiritual Vigour and Activity according to his own Saying that We must not be Drones in God's Work but be rouzed and enlivened in all the Services we perform to him which also should be chiefly inward with as little outward appearance as may be He was one devoted to Prayer which took up a great part of his spare time both in the Day and in the Night when he was awake and not hindred by Weakness and other Bodily Distempers And he was wont to say to this effect when he discerned not the like readiness in others who were more addicted to Conference We alas at least some of us know a great deal notionally but its Prayer in the Spirit is the Work we should chiefly mind And when he had been desired to declare his Opinion of any difficult Scripture wherein he had a deep Insight he spake to this purpose If you would know the true meaning of such or such a Scripture pray over it that being the most effectual Means to come to know the Mind of God's Spirit in his Word And he had such a holy Intimacy and Familiarity with God that he would speak to him in Prayer as if one Cordial Friend were speaking to another yet with great Humiliation Prostration and Reverence And when the Frame of his Soul was never so little out of order he seemed to be very much troubled until he could get into some place of Retirement for the re-gaining of his former delightful Frame of Communion with God And this he would be often speaking of to his most inward Friends And his manner was when he prayed alone not to use his Voice at all but all his striving in Prayer was inward saying that Bodily Exercise profited little and more especially in secret Prayer And also
ever observing that blessed Rule of our Saviour in Matth. 7. 12. And when he had hired or made use of Persons in any Work or Labour he would not only pay them their due which was agreed to and promised but most frequently he would give them somewhat over and above especially if he judged them to be poor and needy That whilst he had bodily His Diligence in his Calling with a holy Frame of Spirit therein Strength and Health to manage Worldly Employments he was always active and industrious therein and he could not be ever charged with any wilful Omission Yet all the while he had his Mind so composed that he was ever in a readiness to a due and regular Attendance on the solemn Duties of his high Calling not suffering any outward Occurrence of what kind soever to distract or unsettle his Mind But when he approached to God in the actual Exercise of any Religious Duties he was still furnished with such variety of Matter and Divine Rhetorick as if all his preceding time had been taken up in and about spiritual Work Such was the habitual Frame of his Soul towards heavenly things And he gave this Advice That we should do Worldly Business with Diligence Patience Moderation and Faith and with such a self-denying respect as if it were the sole Interest and Concern of another rather than our own And when we would make a Judgment of our selves or Actions in matters doubtful we should put our selves in the Room of a third Person in the Case His great Love to the Church His Love to the Church and People of God and People of God rendred him a restless Supplicant and Intercessor in Prayer for them That upon whatsoever Immergency relating to the Church of Christ in general or any Member thereof in particular even for such whom he never knew or saw on the first notice of their Distresses he would be wrestling with God in secret Retirement And if other Christians were at such a time near or occasionally present he would be also urging them to the same Work saying Come let us lift up our joynt Requests to God for them And this at any time of the day and constantly at set times for Prayer he presented their Case and Concern most affectionately before the Lord as a thing which always lay very much on his heart And for the Church of Christ in general his Petitions were observed to be such as these That God would visit Zion the whole Church and visible Body of Christ here in this World That it might be a Glory in all the Earth That as he hath taken hold of the Plough he would carry on his own Work That he would look upon his Son look upon his Covenant look upon that Redemption he hath contrived and designed for the bringing in of Souls unto himself to bestow his own Free Grace upon in making them Vessels of Mercy and Glory That his Church might prosper and every faithful Member of it and become Glorious in Holiness That the Son of Righteousness would break forth and sparkle upon it That his Ordinances might be maintained his Gospel run and be glorified and get Ground every where That God would tender his People as the Apple of his Eye as a Royal Diadem in his hand and as the Object of his Delight That he would give a mighty Check and a dreadful Rebuke unto the fury of all such as bear ill Will to Zion And that all Oppositions and Combustions against his Interest might tend to the Advancement of it of his Glory and the furtherance of the Gospel That Holiness might spread it self throughout the World and the Mouth of Iniquity be stopt in all the Earth That all that Enmity against God and his People which hath been in the World ever since the Infection crept into our Natures from Satan the Prince of Darkness might be destroyed and come to an end That his People might glory in his great Salvation procured and purchased by the Vndertaking of Jesus Christ on their behalf That he would rule in the midst of his Enemies bearing down the Spirit of Wickedness and all the Contrivers of Mischief That he would remember his People under sore Trials and be in the midst of the Storm and say unto them It is I be not afraid and prepare them for every Shock they shall meet withal before the Son of Man appeareth That the Throne of his Grace be lifted up and the Rise of his Glory made conspicuous That the Sceptre of Jesus Christ might sway it self and become Glorious Counter-working all the Wisdom and crafty Counsel of the Serpent's Seed And that he would not suffer his People to be in any Pit out of which his Arm cannot help them That he would keep his Ministers as Stars in his Right Hand that his Enemies which are as the Tail of the Dragon might not scatter them That all his People might be enabled to meditate Terrour and not be afraid when he shall arise to shake terribly the Earth That Salvation might be for Walls round about his People and that God would cause his Glory to shine forth That God would save these Nations with a mighty Salvation and undertake for his own Glory in the midst thereof That for such as are under Bonds of Guilt he would deliver them by his Rescuing Pardoning Grace That he would be mindful of those under inward Trouble by reason of Pollutions within and Wounds of Temptation from without That spiritual Objects might be great in their sight and that he would bring them out with some notable advantage over all the Powers of Darkness that lay Siege against their Faith and Hope His whole Life attested the Tenderness of his Conscience His Tenderness of Conscience and it was particularly remarkable in these two Instances First When he had at any time Moneys lying by him to any value he would lend the same without demanding a Penny Interest And when-ever he received any Interest he would be sure to bestow it wholly in charitable and pious Uses Secondly Whilst he had Trading abroad on all Goods Exported and Imported he was very careful of paying the full Duty or Custom thereon rated and required without Diminution His high Esteem of the Grace His high Esteem of Repentance and Applications to Christ of Repentance with his Applications to Christ shewed it self in his frequent lamenting Confessions of Sin and praying for great measures of Repentance for himself and exhorted others to the same necessary Work And he was a diligent Searcher and curious watchful Observer of his own heart who could not bear with any Guilt but would make fresh Applications to the Blood of Sprinkling saying To be under Guilt was sad but when we are laden in the sence of it if we carry this Guilt to Christ and venture on him for Pardon and Mercy we shall not be cast out And how it was an evil and a bitter thing to
Spiritual Exercise to put the Soul into sure and quiet Possession thereof in a through and direct levelling its eye at the Object the Person of Jesus Christ and to that end it gets the Soul up above the Reasonings of the Old Man Flesh and Blood into the Mount of Gospel-reason and from thence through the Promises and demonstration of the Word of Truth by the Spirit as through a Prospective-Glass gathers into its eye the lovely view of a compleat Redeemer and gazeth upon him till a Dart strike through the Liver and the Soul be made like the Chariots of Aminadab and is both willingly and safely carried into a holy confidence of the truth of what it seeth and the truth of its own being comprehended within the free and liberal reach of the design of God's Free Mercy in a way of particular Application thereof and cryeth out My Lord and my God And O that my Soul were a little upon the wings of the Spirit to ascend by Faith into this Mount of God my Saviour Why abide I among the Folds of corrupt Nature to hear the bleating of my own Confusions and Lusts seeing the Sword of the Lord and his Gideon is drawn for my deliverance Awake O my Heart awake O my Conscience shake thee from thy Dust let the Testimony of Faith and Spirit of Adoption and Freedom lead my Captivity Captive for ever In this glorious Work Faith seizeth on the Soul as the Angel did seize upon Lot and as it were tear him out of Sodom with this blessed advantage that it makes the Soul willing in the day of God's Power to be pulled with violence out of Sodom out of all its fleshly filth and fleshly state it rejoyceth to see the Blood of former Lusts to be sprinkled on all its Raiment 'T is wrathful against the Inchantments of Self-Pride Man's Applause Carnal Reason Earthly Compliances Fleshly Fears and Distrust It roars against its Sensual Mind and Carnal Consultations as a Lyon over its Prey It unhingeth the Gates of its Captivity and carrieth them up to the top of the Mount never to return again Mighty is this Sampson-Faith when its Locks of sanctified Convictions and Manifestation of Grace are grown up to some happy maturity it looks further and further after Christ in every Scripture it rejoyceth exceedingly to find the free Gift of Christ in such Language as this I will give thee for a covenant of the people that thou mayest say to the prisoners Go forth Isa 49. 8 9. Not by works of righteousness which we had done but according to his mercy he saved us Tit. 3. 5. I am he that blotteth out thy sins for my own sake Isa 43. 25. and will not remember them any more But the poor Soul looks down upon the scars of its own vile heart and daily weaknesses and cries out Oh! but what are these Wounds in my heart and hands these thorns in my sides these pricks in my eyes The Understanding triumphing through Faith replies These are the Memorials of the Wounds with which Christ was wounded in the House of his Friends when he came to his own and they received him not and when the Sword of Indignation awoke against the Shepherd one who accounted it no Robbery to be equal with God he then saved the Sheep and after a sore Conflict slew the Wolf and gathered again the Poor of the Flock who were appointed by the Law of Moses to the Slaughter Arise therefore and be not dismayed at the Witnesses of Christ's Agony which dwells for a season in thy mortal Flesh The Battel was his not thine he mortally wounded the Dragon and the God of Peace will shortly tread down Satan and every Spawn of his under your feet These Enemies are left to prove your Faith Integrity and Patience that you might learn Spiritual War and be renowned by Victory through the mighty Spirit of the Captain of your Salvation Then Faith fixeth its eye again upon Jesus Christ through the Word and beholds him as a Lamb that was slain and yet risen and there sees the Grave where the guilt of Conscience was buried and argueth it self into Freedom Guilt is destroyed and none can raise the Dead but God only but God will not raise it up because he destroyed it himself that he might marry the Justified Soul to himself out of that Destruction of Guilt and Bondage in the Person of his own Son that he might thereby bring forth Life and Immortality to sinners 2 Tim. 1. 10. Rom. 5. 6. by Faith and therefore here Faith strives to keep its eye while hands and feet are working and by this Compass it steers its Course towards the Haven of Safety But the abundant Grace and vastness of this Salvation in and through the Person of Jesus Christ is so great that my eye is dazled I am not able to measure the Heavens I bring my Bucket to hold the Sea and 't is drowned in the great Waters And yet here Faith has a Refuge against Confusion of Mind viz. when it espies a passive sence in all the Justification and Acceptation of the Gospel and in all the Fruits thereof working me up to and making me to be content with a Conformity according to the Measure given me by Jesus Christ Hence are the words discovering it rendred in a passive sense Justified Redeemed and Saved and the Action of this is ascribed only to Christ or God in Christ who justifieth redeemeth and saveth And hence also Faith giveth the Soul Relief against Confusion of Mind about defect of knowledge by the thought of this that though I know little yet I am known perfectly of God Gal. 4. 9. and though I apprehend little of the great Mystery of this Salvation yet I am apprehended fully by Jesus Christ Phil. 3. 12. while I receive him by Faith and am willing to be comprehended and moulded by his Spirit It was but a small thing on Mans part to touch the Hem of Christ's Garment yet that being an Act of Reliance on Christ and subjecting the Soul to him presently there came in Health of Body and Pardon of Sins from that comprehending Relation in which Christ stood to such a Soul The Souls work in Faith or rather that to which the Soul is wrought is a contentedness to receive the Person of Christ by Faith as the Sum and Title of its Interest in more than it can be ever able to receive within its own capacity The Soul that receives the Person of Christ by one true closing hint through Faith receives a rightful Propriety to every Excellency and Perfection that is in God laid up in Christ for that end though the length of that Perfection and Blessing be never fully known As a Man who buyes a Field if no Exception in the Laws of that Nation be made he buyes all the Advantages of that piece of Earth downwards to the very Centre of the Earth and all between that and the Stars albeit
the Will of God being the grand purpose of his heart in all he doth delivers him into a holy Rest and maintains an inclination to work still without repining because he is assured his work is not in vain in the Lord. So far as the Will of God appears he is quiet with joy because the pleasure of his work lies in doing God's Will and not his own Communion with God makes up every Breach with an All-sufficiency Disappointments do lock him up within the Sanctuary of God and keeps the Soul at home in the pure tastes of that Communion with God in which it lives Psal 73. 17 25. in a readiness to every good work His good Actions though small as a Cup of cold Water or successless as Isaiah's preaching seemed to him to be Isa 49. 4. yet those works cannot be lost because Communion with God cannot be lost in the vertue of which those works were done through Jesus Christ But while I am thus travelling The Soul sensible of a cold Fit through the Consideration of several P 〈…〉 s redounding to a Believer 〈…〉 way of fruitfulness therein I feel methinks many cold fits to seize upon me as it was in the day that Abraham was troubled with the Fowls which fell upon the Carcases which God commanded him to divide for confirmation of his Promise which Abraham drove away till the Sun went down and when a deep sleep and horrour of great darkness fell upon him then even then did a fresh assurance of the Covenant break forth upon him as Gen. 15. 13. So while I am pursuing after this Salvation of God I find the Clouds gather about me I find not the same sensible Entertainment of the Salvation of God in my heart as sometimes I have done my Soul is filled with guilt and weakness and therefore am forced to retire back from the pursuing the necessary and practical Meditations about the Conversation of Godliness for a season lest I leave an Enemy at my back that is ready to invade me which Enemy if it please the Lord to scatter by his Spirit I shall be more able to attempt the Meditations of the works of Holiness and have fresh Activity to put on the Garments of Fruitfulness in the Service which I owe to Jesus Christ my Lord than methinks for present I am Inward Rejoycing and Peace has been much bruised for certain days by weakness guilt and distraction that has seized on my heart there it lies like a Mountain of Lead when my thoughts would turn inwards I hear nothing but Outcries of Accusation and Guilt possessing my heart I can find no shelter at home I am forced to fly abroad for a Lodging for Company and Food I am now invited to renew my self a Nest above my own heart my heart is grown hard dark and weak it prevails against my former sense of Divine Presence and while it is thus filled with the clamours of Death and Confusion methinks I hear the Spirit and Bridegroom say Come arise this is not your Rest lanch forth through the Ocean of Free Grace and let not thy expectation hanker towards thy self though thy flesh fail and thy heart fail yet God is the strength of thy heart and thy portion for ever My work is to go forth and Oh that I could make a fair Escape to him who stands upon the Shoar to receive me it is not a few Meditations that will do it it needs a Redeemer's hand to fetch me out and pull me up The delight of the New Man is The Soul flies out of all manner of selfish help to Jesus Christ only to be under the Government of the Spirit only and all the Issues of the Spirit flow from the heart of Christ only by which the heart of a Believer is made new in him This Newness lies especially in the Spirit of a Believer which complies with the Spirit of God in the Witness of Adoption even whiles the contradiction of defiled Nature warreth against it And upon the single Interest of this Consideration and Union betwixt Christ and the Soul yielding it self to the renewing of his Spirit doth Faith go forth and claim Forrein Aid viz. the Aid of Jesus Christ to whom it is united in Conveyance of which Aid Christ first takes the Soul more closely into the vertue of that Union that every crumb of his help may truly savour of that Relation which is betwixt him and the Soul through the New Covenant and gives out no saving and effectual Aid otherwise than as the Product and Off-spring of that Union that so Christ may be all in all as the Treasury and efficient Cause of all Relief and that the Soul through spiritual Union only might derive that Relief to it self by Faith and as the Foundation of the Union lies on free Grace so the Application thereof and the abundant help arising thence is carried on through the method of free Grace only for Faith can converse with nothing in order to the Life of the New Man but Free Grace only in the Promse The very nature of free Promises do present to the Soul the consideration of all Relief to lie originally in God and that the Soul is invited thither only to fetch it and cannot possibly return empty for the dispensation of which Grace to the Sons of Men God manifests himself in the Person of the Son who dwells in Humane Nature displaying the Evidence of this Grace in the Gospel and by his Spirit persuades the believing Soul to accept and improve it And the Soul being thus persuaded that his life lies in Christ upon a free Covenant grounded in God's Decree established on free Promises may not stay to ask leave of his guilty heart whether he be fit to lay hold upon this Deliverance but must rather consider the freeness of Grace Pardon and Righteousness which is in this new and living way which God hath made and not Man If Elijah had poured only on the parched Earth that was under his feet he could have had no Argument of Moysture to arise from thence but having by faith prayed to him who governed the Clouds down came Rain and the Drought vanished Guilt of Sin is like a Hedge or a Wall that can easily keep the heart in Impenitency and Unbelief but when Faith working by Repentance seizeth on Jesus Christ it gives Wings to the Soul of a Believer to fly up above all those hindrances of natural Guilt and Weakness and though Sin and Death remain in his Flesh yet he is got beyond the Captivity of the Law of Sin which can no more keep him from the Freedom wherewith Christ hath made him free than a Hedge can keep an Eagle from soaring up in the Air. The Sap which feeds Guilt is Unbelief now when the Sap is withdrawn the Tree dies away by degrees although it remains in its place for a season so is it with the Old Man it combers the heart a while but
a curious Key to the Wards of a Lock and intermits not the least moment from suitable and needful help Isa 27. 3. only he manageth it in his own method which a resigned Soul owns he is satisfied and delighted in Hence comes Peace when the Soul Peace of a Believer by Resignment having viewed the Compass of plentiful Redemption the strength of the Rock that is under him and the Helmet of Salvation that is over him saith Return O my soul to thy rest for God hath dealt bountifully with thee God hath delivered my life from going down to the pit and my eyes from tears and my feet from falling Psal 116. 7 8. I will now lay me down and sleep for no less than God himself makes me to dwell in safety Psal 4. 8. The Peace of Resignation is Christ's Peace which none can divide from a Believer it is his Garison and fortified Security Col. 3. 15. Joh. 14. 27. And from hence flows Love to God the Father Son and Spirit The Love Love of the Father in the Son and by the Spirit in all the unspeakable discoveries of it warms the heart into this Resignation unto him 1 Joh. 4. 19. Christ appearing so amply furnished to conciliate Love and presenting the Bracelets of his kindness and declaring his Wealth Power and Glory of his Kingdom Psal 145. 11. as once Abraham's Servant did to Rebeccah in behalf of Isaac he gains the heart of a Believer to forsake former Contents and resign up the utmost Affections to him The more the Soul resigns the more doth it love and the more it loves the more it doth resign to him The Love of God shed abroad into the heart by the Spirit from the heart of Christ breeds Resignation and that Resignation still feeds Love each moving other with a perpetual motion and so from an endless Principle of Union with Christ runs forth to all Eternity From whence ariseth also a sense Freedom of perfect Freedom the Pales of distance are broken down free Access to God in Christ is gained Mis-apprehensions removed and Open-heartedness interweaves betwixt Christ and the Soul The Heir is no longer Servant but a Son Esther is brought from the Custody of Hegai to the King's Palace The boundless Deity in all its Purity Power and Protection is the Range of a resigning Believer The Law is removed the Prince of this World is judged and cast out the former state of Enmity and Bondage is over and gone and now the Soul dilates it self with full spread into that Freedom wherewith Christ hath made it free Joh. 8. 36. Gal. 5. 1. Which Freedom brings in Boldness along with it the Soul being Boldness once resigned up to Christ is no longer a Stranger but of his Houshold yea betrothed to his Person in Righteousness and Tender Mercy and is always in his eye Resignation betwixt Christ and the Soul being mutually past Darkness is swallowed up of Light there is no shelter for the Beasts of Prey no Weapon that is formed against a Believer can prosper who has resigned himself to the Former of all things he may now dwell safely in the Wilderness and sleep in the Woods a Lyon-like Courage grows in the Soul from the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah to whom by Resignation it is united What now may hinder Satisfaction Why may not the Soul say I Satisfaction have enough my Inheritance is lawfully gotten neither have I got it with my Sword and Bow as Jacob got a Portion from the hand of the Amorite but I have given my self for it I have resigned my whole self to Christ and he has resigned his whole self to me I own and accept his Resignation and he accepts mine What further remains than that I bid farewel to mine own Poverty and Wretchedness and put on Change of Raiment Why may not I dwell amidst the Flagons Cant. 2. 5. of his satisfying Presence I am filled and my Cup runs over And now also who may hinder a satisfied Soul from Joy Will not Joy all the Foundation-work and Walls of this Building bear a Superstructure of Joy in the Holy Spirit Is not the upshot of this Resignation betwixt Christ and a Believer mutual Joy He joys over his beloved with singing Zeph. 3. 17. and her soul rejoyceth in God her Saviour Luk. 1. 47. As far as any degrees of this Resignation tastes these high Privileges so doth a relish of Joy grow in the Soul Resignation brings the Soul into the heart of Christ who hath triumphed gloriously in rescuing his Spouse and now rejoyceth over her as a Bridegroom rejoyceth over the Bride Isa 62. 4. and in the day of the gladness of his heart calls her Hephzibah My delight is in her Which Joy begets an Eccho of its own likeness from her again My delight is in him And thus the Crown of Joy is placed on the Head of Spiritual Resignment The Soul cannot resign to God without Joy in him nor rejoyce in him without Resignment They live in one another because the Seed and Nature of all spiritual Privileges lies in every Privilege and the Nature of this Privilege being endless because God is everlasting the Crown of Joy can therefore never wither And the more this Resignation to God in Christ gets Ground in An Entrance to the purchased Possession the Soul the more is an Entrance made into the everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ not as it is a Work done by us but wrought in us in which the heart is made to give way and is made voluntary therein by the Spirit of Grace Which Work is here carried on through much Contradiction in the Flesh which strives against it while the Inward Man in every Believer pants after it and finds no Rest but as the Power of this holy Resignation to God in all things prevails till at last it steps over Mortality and leaves every Obstruction behind perfectly and for ever and then God is all in all Christ enjoying his Spouse without any Reluctancy or Unsuitableness in her and she enjoying her Husband without any Vail upon his Face she hears his pure Language and returns pure Language again Love has its full vent on both sides the mutual Yerning of Bowels will then be satisfied the Voice of COME which sounds from Christ above and the Believer below will period it self in one eternal unseparable Meeting Resignation will then enjoy an uninterrupted Delight How astonishing is the thought of this When the thought of it is strained through the weakness of my Faith conflicting with so much Darkness and present Treachery of heart and Self-unworthiness the Glympses thereof makes me both fear and rejoyce at once and yet am not able to rejoyce perfectly for fear nor fear perfectly for hope O infinite Redeemer be over and above all my fear and faintness act like thy self almightily and freely that my heart may shout for Joy in the hope of the
Glory of God and the day of refreshing which is promised to appear Even so come Lord Jesus And now if I might out of all these Considerations but take home to my own heart a few Chips to kindle mine own Fire and be really resigned one Inch nearer to Christ I should think the Meditations of this day happily given in What else doth my Soul long for Some Crumbs of this glorious Banquet that my Soul may inwardly commend the Feast and say The Lord hath done great things for me Yea Lord let thy Kingdom come and thy Will be done I wait and cry Amen Amen How to find God a SANCTVARY in time of Trouble With the manner of the AVTHOR'S entring into Covenant with God PErceiving a dark Cloud and tempestuous Storm to be rising and being called to enter into the Chambers of Divine Protection Isa 26. 20. and finding it the practise of the Lord's people Psal 57. 1. and 143. 9. and Jesus Christ having declared himself a Shelter from the Storm Isa 32. 2. and inviting me to enter into his Rest Matth. 11. 29. I judge it my duty to follow his Voice and betake my self to the Horns of the Altar but being hindred by my own Guiltiness and Unbelief am forced either to wander into Desolation of Mind or else to endeavour to cut my way through the Incumbrances of my own darkness by the Sword of the Spirit If the Lord shall be pleased to favour me and bless this Attempt I shall be safe under his Wings And seeing nothing makes Calamities terrible but Guilt of sin I judge it my duty to set my main Battery against that Strong Hold And to that end having chosen out for my help that blessed Word Rev. 1. 5. He that hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood Which Scripture yields excellent Relief to that Soul that can mix it with Faith The words He that hath loved us do import the Ground of a Sinner's Union with Christ for such is the nature of Love and we must be one also with him before ours can be made his and his made ours And the words our sins and his own blood How Christ's blood doth wash being compared together shews that from Union with him flows a transferring of our sins upon him and as it were mixing them without any personal stain with his Blood and so made his Our Infection by his own Will entred as it were by Imputation and Burthen into the Blood of the unspotted Lamb. He suffered himself who was personally without sin to be all over laden with the real Imputation of the loathsome Nature and absolute Guilt of our sins and so became sin for us and yet his Blood remained pure and himself without sin The word Washed alludeth to legal Washings for Purification He removed our sins from us making them no longer ours but his own as the filth of a Garment is washed whereby the Garment becomes clean so our sins passed away Zach. 3. 4. by Imputation and burthen of the Curse into the living Body and Life-blood of Jesus Christ And so the Sinner as the original and principal Malefactor and Christ as Surety do stand both of them before God the righteous Judge and both in some kind equally liable to Sentence for if Christ had not been able to have freed himself from those sins they would have sunk him and the Sinner too And herein the Metaphor of washing a Garment comes short of this Mystery for the filth being gone from the Garment into the Water the Garment is thereby actually cleansed though the Water be never cleansed from the filth that it borrowed of the Garment because the Water and the Garment are two seperated things but in this mystical Washing the Person washed and the Blood washing are joyned together in the Union of Christ's Mystical Person so that if Christ who is the Surety miscarry in his work all they whose hope of Redemption lies only through Mystical Union in their Interest in him must needs perish with him and if he prevail they are delivered for this Washing at his Agony and Death was in some sence Inchoative and yet accounted perfect and was so as it stood in relation to and connexion with his Resurrection which made him a compleat and perfect Author of Eternal Salvation Heb. 5. 9. But how Christ could bear our How a pure Christ was made Sin for us sins and be made Sin for us and yet be personally pure this is a great wonder and he must be without sin all the while else he could not have done away our sins One Contrary expels another but he doth it not at a distance as the Light of the Sun drives away Darkness before it but he enters sinlesly into the state of our Sin that we might enter into the state of his Righteousness He cures not as a Physician who cures by Medicines but was himself touch'd with our infirmities he was made Sin for us he espoused not only the punishment of our Sins to himself but was married also to our Guilt and to all the dreadful workings of it so far as that it made him sick and sorrowful even to the very death He had the guilt of our delight in sin without any delight in it He made himself guilty of all our sins but had none of his own nor no defilement to his Nature by ours If one Man be guilty of another's sin he is defiled himself without lessening the defilement of the other Man because the Guilt is not translated from the one to the other but extendeth and spreadeth its poysonous nature from the one to the other and so fills as it were both Vessels without any remove of the Guilt but Christ's Nature being capable of no personal Infection gives liberty and scope to the Guilt of a Sinner to vent it self wholly into the bottomless and endless Satisfaction Merit and Righteousness of Christ the Mediator till the last drop of it be gone and the Fountain dried up through Union with his spotless Nature Our sins touched him as to an experimental sence of the filth and burthen of them He bare our sins in the Body of his Flesh but that Flesh being personally united to the Godhead remained pure and uncapable of any Corruption through the purity of that personal Union But how unexpressibly far he took in the sense and burthen of all sin and made it his own in the utmost measure and how infinitely pure he still remained the knowledge of this the Angels desire to look into and must be reserved till the Saints come to know as they are known of him Sin dwells in our Nature habitually and actually but lay upon him by Imputation and so passively his Nature bare our sin but could not act it But how should a Sinner come to enjoy Redemption from his Sins by a Mediator thus wonderfully qualified and so admirably sustaining a sinner's guilt This is worth the Enquiry I
working and beholds it as it were the audible Voice of God and the very Mind of Christ It cannot be satisfied in the weakness of the Letter but passeth through the Letter immediately to the Person of Jesus Christ and converseth with God in him The whole Scriptures in the eye of Faith is as a pair of Spectacles through which Faith gets the sight and closeth with the Promise It magnifies the Scriptures Ordinances and Sabbaths as they are the Portal through which to enter into Communion and Converse with God himself It believes the Scriptures that makes Report of the Will and Pleasure of God and so passeth through them to the Will Mind and Name of God himself Faith visits as a faithful Guide in its Journey and useth it no farther than a means tending to bring the Soul and God together The Word reports that Christ is there his Life his Strength his Grace is there and requires the Soul to enter in and take it Faith enters in finds and receives it Faith having found its Object and espying the way how to come at it is quickned by the Spirit in pure Obedience to God's Command to attempt some holy Adventures upon the Word and passeth by all Considerations of Flesh and Blood as deaf and blind to all things but what the Word speaketh 't is resolved to take as it were a senceless Journey to Christ even upon the Sea for 't is contented to feel no Ground but the Promise It stays not to enquire whether it hath strength enough to walk or no but looks on the Word of Truth and considers its need and so ventures and by venturing engageth all the Attributes of Jehovah Father Son and Spirit for its relief If I perish I perish The faithful and true Witness hath said Fear not only believe Faith so far as it works doth Faith doth both possess the Vnderstanding Judgment and Will and puts them to exercise persuade the heart of the Truth Power Wisdom and Goodness of God that speaketh and of the true performance of the thing spoken and is singly of it self through the overshadowing of the holy Spirit a principle of appropriating to the heart the Truths spoken from the Mouth of an infinitely true holy and wise God in his Word and so fixeth a blessed Satisfaction in the heart through the real Existence of the things spoken and apprehended by the renewed Understanding so far at least as they are by an actual Exercise of Faith apprehended Luk. 1. 45. Blessed is she who believed for there shall be a performance of the things told her from the Lord. The Understanding being renewed The Vnderstanding exercised views over the Covenant as it was made with Christ before all time Tit. 1. 2. and considers what method God has used to manifest it in the World He created the habitable World and made Man at first righteous and then permitted him to fall into the Breach of the first Covenant viz. of Works whereby he gave entrance and footing to the second Covenant viz. of Grace Gen. 3. 15. and carried it along in a holy Line through the corrupt Race of Mankind before the Flood he then sweeps away the ungodly World and preserves the Covenant-line in Noah and from him carries it on to Abraham and kept it on in its course amidst much Prophaneness and Idolatry that was in the World He then renewed it more distinctly with Abraham and gave it a more visible Being than ever before that time and by reason thereof called Abraham the Father of the Faithful He confirmed it also to Isaac and Jacob who are oftentimes mentioned in the Scriptures as the three grand Witnesses of this Covenant-favour From thence it descended to the twelve Tribes representing the elect visible Church After which it was brought forth in a Typical Demonstration of Christ and his managing of all things needful to make that Covenant applicable which is carried on under the shadows of the Ceremonial Law The Prophets succeed asserting this Covenant of Grace and expounding it At last Christ comes in Flesh and seals it with his Blood and the Apostles are sent sorth to discover and preach this eternal Purpose of Grace to the wide World for calling in the Elect. So that the Covenant of Grace which was made of God in Christ before the Creation of the World appears as the main scope of the Scriptures and issues forth its vertue through all the Promises Fatherly Commands Reproofs Consolations and the Deliverances which are recorded in Scripture as the various Streams Operations Experiences and Effects of the Covenant of Grace in and towards the Heirs of Life It bears the Name of the Old Covenant during the time while the Passover was in use and after the Lord's Supper was instituted it was called the New Covenant both Old and New are one Covenant of Grace differing from the Covenant of Works as far as Grace and Works do differ The Understanding having perused The exercised Judgment the Scriptures and so made its view and deliberated the matter digesting it by Meditation and Prayer the Judgment resolves to make Covenant-refuge its Sanctuary and thereupon forbids the heart to admit the Contradiction of Flesh and Blood and the reasoning of Carnal Wisdom and Observation resolves to determine nothing according to the Flesh endeavours to shut up all passages by which Unbelief carnal Mis-construction and fear were wont to enter and labours to keep open every Port that may admit the naked recourse of the Spirit in the Word and opens the Windows of the Soul to take in the Testimony and Evidence of a faithful and merciful God only And when this mighty Discovery and Conquest is made the foundations of Bondage Terror and Tyranny which before tormented the Conscience and enslaved the heart doth now begin to totter The Understanding and Judgment The Will assents having gone thus far in the Conduct of the Spirit do attempt effectually the persuading of the Will to accept a new Lord viz. the Messenger and Prince of the Covenant him in whom all the Promises are Yea and Amen Sanctified Conviction begins to sway the Will as Nathaniel was moved by Philip to come and see him of whom Moses and the Prophets did write and assuies the Conscience that God is ever mindful of his Covenant has sealed it with the Blood of his own Son and has sworn that it shall stand sure as the Ordinances of Heaven and that no particle of it shall ever fail to which the Will assents But alas how doth my Pen as it were gash my own Soul in writing what I cannot heartily and at full liberty put in practice Oh that my Understanding and Judgment had thus far in a powerful Gale of the Spirit led my Soul forth to the Gates of Freedom and thus far brought me within the Bond of the Covenant How soon would the same mighty Power conquer over my Will to a holy Security and Rest in believing I
Society and sometimes Retirement puts me behind-hand All my Composedness is soon discomposed Let thy eye be upon me O my God according to thy word and water me every moment Isa 27. 3. lest any thing assault and hurt my Soul which thou hast redeemed and quicken my faith and hope in thy Word for this Many a wretched stop do I meet with pardon me O my Lord and my God and renew a Spirit of truth tenderness sincerity and rightly seasoned heart for the work I am now upon My scope and meaning in giving my hand and closing with this Covenant of my God is further this viz. that through his help I will ascribe truth to all the words of his Promises by believing them and receiving them as that which shall be accomplished that I will labour to keep the Majesty of the Promiser in my eye and to preserve the faith and hope of his fulfilling his Word upon the account of his unsearchable Wisdom and Faithfulness and not by my uncertain taste that no Guilt of Sin shall keep me from the Fountain wherein Sinners are to be cleansed that I will through the Guidance of his Spirit aspire after a more practical and accustomed Exercise in living the life that I live by the faith of the Son of God and resting from my own works reach after that self-denying Activity which issues from my Union with Christ as my Head O my Lord mould my heart into this life this is the very Pearl that I would willingly sell all to get What a lovely Comportment would it settle between the Actions of my outward and inward Man How would it teach my Soul to rule my Body How willingly would my Soul and Body then be contradicted and take pleasure to be thwarted by the Spirit of Christ when the Crown is settled on the Head of the new Creature and the Scepter of Government in its hand acting as in the Throne of Christ in the vertue of his pure Life and glorious Arm and every imagination of the heart bowing down before it Oh when shall my inward Man be thus cloathed with Glory and Power looking forth through all my Sences as the Morning fair as the Moon and terrible as an Army with Banners This Gate of Heaven I would aspire towards through that means of Victory which overcometh the World the Devil and an earthly Mind even through the faith of the Son of God This is that which I have in my eye although it be as a Land that is afar off I faint with desire stay me and strengthen me with the Flagons of Hope O thou who hast suffered me to touch the Skirt of thy Garment and brought me within the Covenant of his Grace When I consider the Soveraignty of God that he doth whatsoever he will in Heaven and Earth that sometimes he has deserted his people as to the powerful Communications of Grace as it was with David Peter and others in the time of their sinful Back-sliding when I consider these things I begin to stagger about the constant Immutability of God's Purpose and uninterrupted Good Will which he declares in the Covenant Heb. 13. 8. Jer. 32. 40. who saith I will not turn away from them to do them good and I will put my fear into their hearts that they shall not depart from me And therefore to obviate this heart-fainting mistake I resolve to nourish the faith of his constant Love and Good Will in his Covenant upon the ground of his unchangeable Nature that he is not as a man that he should lie nor as the son of man that he should repent that nothing can come to pass but what is the effect of his Purpose that his Covenant is everlasting and his Purpose of Love therein the same for ever Jer. 31. 35. and 32. 40 41. that his Purpose to them whom he calls up to take hold of his Covenant is wholly a Purpose of Love and Grace 2 Tim. 1. 9. that he complains when a doubting heart makes question of it Isa 40. 27. that it is confirmed by the death of the Testator that the cause of Alienation is removed viz. the Guilt of my Sin by the one compleat and compleating Offering of the Body of Christ that Christ ever lives to intercede and is always heard because the Will of the Father and Son is the same Will breathing it self forth to the Objects of Grace by the everlasting Spirit And therefore when I seem to be forsaken I resolve to believe that that desertion is only Physick And to enquire what it is that God teacheth me thereby that so I may see ground as satisfyingly to thank him for the gracious frowns of his unchangeable Love as for his gracious Smiles and to take the advantage of that season to crave his Aid more importunately to loath my sinful self and to revive afresh more purely self-denying Exercises of believing and resigning to him fearing his righteous Judgments patiently waiting when the Spirit that I have grieved will return again with the Manifestation of his gracious Presence to my Soul In all these Considerations Resolutions and Desires in my Covenanting with God my meaning further is that I accept of Jesus Christ as he is the Gift of God to be the whole Covenant to me to work Faith and give the things believed to work desires and give the things desired to act for me and in me that the Covenant may never fail from me because of my sins and miscarriages in regard he has satisfied Justice in my stead and brought me into his everlasting Righteousness nor I fail from the Covenant through Unbelief and a languishing view of my own Infirmity because he is my Strength to labour Author and Finisher of my Faith who gave himself to sanctifie me by the Spirit of Regeneration in the Application of his Word to me for quickning that so Christ may be all in all to fulfil the Engagement of God to me and my Engagement in his Name to God And seeing that Breaches are like to fall out often on my part that he would still stand in the Gap that those Breaches may not obstruct the Good Will and Mercy of God from me nor harden my heart from him that so the Grace of the Covenant on God's part in Christ towards me and on Christ's part for me towards God may remain in the eye of my Faith inviolable when the Peace of the Covenant through my sinful diversions and darkness is interrupted and bruised And that he would still recover me again into a renewed personal Covenanting with God that in his Person I may behold eternal and sure Mercies as the Sun in the Firmament as the days of Eternity Psal 89. 29. And that by his Mediation and Suretyship applied to me by the effectual working of his Spirit I may in my own person be drawn under his shadow to recover my Hold-fast and have my face set towards the Covenant And that he would still lead me
though not particularly at this time rehearsed for every good thing for my Soul and Body here and hereafter as far as ever the purpose of thy Grace extended when thou saidst I will be thy God and that all that Goodness and Truth may follow me all my days and for ever Rom. 8. 32. And I willingly offer up my self to thy whole Will as thou shalt from time to time reveal it in the same word of thy Grace and do covenant Subjection thereto in thy strength through the Mediation of Jesus Christ and supply of thy Spirit And upon thy own Encouragement in thy Promise made to me in that same Covenant which thou madest with my Father Abraham and sealed it to him and his Seed that thou wouldst be his God and the God of his Seed and caused the Man-child of eight days old to receive the sign of that Covenant in his Flesh which Blessing thou hast now brought over to me a Gentile by Christ in whom thou saist Jew and Greek Male and Female are all one in Christ I do again offer up my Child who has been already baptized into thy Name relying on thee to make good thy Covenant in Christ to her together with my self in every Branch thereof which I have through thy favour and Grace entred into and spread before thee this day that she also may have a place in thy House and partake of all the Privileges and Inheritance of thy Chosen And now O Lord God what shall I say to thee Who am I And what is my House that thou hast brought me hitherto All Praise be to thy glorious Name ever-living Jehovah the Father Son and Spirit Glory be to thee O Father who hast begotten me again to a lively Hope who hast drawn me to Jesus Christ whom thou deliveredst up for me to be my Ransom and hast made me to recieve him and in him to call thee my reconciled Father Glory be to thee O Eternal Son of the Father who camest into Flesh and undertookest the great Office of Mediatorship between a righteous God and sinful Man and hast transacted a Covenant of Peace for me and perfected it in thy own Person by thy Death and Resurrection And Glory be to thee O Eternal Spirit of the Father and Son who hast awakened my ear to hear the joyful sound of Reconciliation to God through the Blood of the Lamb which was slain from the beginning of the World who hast been pursuing me and didst never give over till thou hadst convinced my heart and conquered my Will to a willing Surrender of my self up to and a laying hold upon the Covenant of Grace held forth to Sinners in the Volume of thy Book Now O Lord God let all the words of thy Grace be effectually applied and established to me thy Servant Pardon all my sins and my failings and all my unsuitableness of heart while I have been before thee musing and taking thy Name and Covenant in my mouth and writing it with my own hand in thy presence and as a Fruit of thy Covenant-Grace and Truth let my approach to thee be accepted and prosper for which end I have delivered up my self and all that is mine with full purpose of heart according to all that I have said before thee this day and with an holy Awe of thy Presence in this great Work in confidence and hope of thy pardoning succouring and assisting Grace I lie at the Foot-stool of thy Mercy and call Heaven and Earth to witness that I have chosen thee to be my God and thy Will in all things to be my Inheritance and my delight and the matter of my pursuance all my days upon the ground and promise which thou hast said Hos 2. 23. I will say to them which were not my people thou art my people and they shall say Thou art my God I have said it and do say it and do leave this Covenant in the hand of my Mediator to see it fulfilled to me and by me through all the days of my Infirmity and Warfare till I come to behold his face as he is and this vile Body of mine be made like to his glorious Body In reliance on which relief and blessed hope and help I cling upon this Covenant of Free Grace in which I do both take and give as I have said and do subscribe it irrevocably with my hand Henry Dorney Do not say O grumbling Unbelief The Soul chides Vnbelief that these are nothing but compiled words of Humane Invention I tell thee as far as they are only my invention I do loath them but the Spirit of God doth witness with my Spirit that amongst these words there hath been some hunger after God some awe of his Presence some love to be his devoted Servant some prizing of the excellency of a pure Life of Faith some holy Convictions of the importance and necessity at least of such an attempt as this to bring God and my Soul nearer together And therefore though there is much chaffiness of a dead heart yet I cannot gratifie my doubts and unbelief so far as to conclude there is no Wheat in the heap and I refer my self desirously and willingly to the heart-knowing Eye of him who has his Fan in his hand to blow away all the Chaff from my thoughts and words and to create in me a clean heart and pure language also and to gather what there is of secret panting after him into his own Garner and put my inward groanings after him how weak and faint soever into his Bottle and therefore I must and by his help will praise him for any Crumbs that fall from his Table and that I have any Stomach to eat them and any desire after larger Morsels My Redeemer is bountiful his Breasts are full and will not suffer a hungry Child to draw nothing but Wind. I remember well what he said to the Woman of Samaria If thou knewest the gift of God and who it is that saith to thee Give me to drink thou wouldst have asked of him and he would have given thee living water I have asked of him and have had his favour to wait on him now several days together and will he return my Bucket altogether empty This is not his custom The Kingdom of God is like Seed sown which springs up and grows with an insensible motion and yet a growing motion Mark 4. 26 27. He proceeds in the method of his own Word in which Word he saith Seek and ye shall find for every one that seeketh findeth and shall I say my Seekings are lost My Way is not hid from God when his Path is hid from me he hath said They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength which I have obliged my self to do and therefore though he humble me to preserve a watchful Appetite and to prevent some unhealthy Surfeit which he can discern in my Constitution growing upon me better than I yet I know I shall
able faithful 1 Thes 5. 24. 8. Do I rejoyce in hope Rom. 5. 2. and praise Rev. 5. 9. on this account IV. Upon this Relief by Christ Do I yet go farther as Esther did to execute the Children of Haman after he was dead yea to see the power of the Prince of this World broken in me What is the temper and employment of a redeemed Soul in his justified and renewed state It is to shew forth the vertue of him who hath called us from Darkness to Light from Sin and Bondage to Freedom Holiness and Righteousness Luk. 1. 75. And Oh that this might be and appear in my Soul TO THAT END let my heart suffer and attend to some Questions concerning this whereby I may further know that I am the Lords and not my own Do I account Christ only to be the Fountain and Author of Renewing and Holiness and so cast my self by Faith on him for it as well as for Pardon seeing I cannot think a thought nor will nor do any good thing of my self 2 Cor. 3. 5. Phil. 2. 13. being created in Christ thereto Ephes 2. 10. and quickned therein by him Is the Communion of the Father and the Son in a way of light and leading by his Spirit the Element I breath in so that Holiness is my Choice and sweet delight Rom. 7. 22. Phil. 3. 10 c. and 20. Our conversation is in heaven c. Do I make designs against the Old Man and to cherish the New by the lusting of the Spirit against the Flesh Gal. 5. 17. countermining the devices of Satan 2 Cor. 2. 11. watching trying all means Phil. 3. 11. to increase Holiness Do I chuse and aim at pleasing God in what I do as well as do any thing that is good in it self Isa 56. 4. Col. 1. 10 11. In matters of Worship Do I aim to converse indeed with God himself as having to do with his presence 2 Cor. 2. 17. acting therein to him Col. 3. 16 17. Do I labour to suck sanctified Light and real Holiness out of the Ordinances Psal 36. 8. which is the Fatness of God's House and tends to make the new Creature flourish Psal 92. 13. Do I bow down and comply with every Word of God submitting and assenting to its full scope Psal 119. 127 128. Do I rowl my eye towards God eyeing his Wisdom Goodness Righteousness and Providence in natural things 1 Cor. 10. 31. and in things that providencially come to pass 2 Cor. 7. 6. 2 Tim. 4. 17. Act. 12. 23. This is to walk with God Do I plot which way I may advance the Interest of Christ and his Gospel in the Capacity in which he hath set me 1 Cor. 9. 15 19 23. and to prevent the disparagement of it 1 Pet. 2. 12. Tit. 2. 10. Do I consider whether I go forward or backward in the Trade of Holiness Heb. 5. 12. Whether there be growth or not declining or not Am I gaining and reaching forward Phil. 3. 13. 2 Thes 1. 3. If so it shews my Centre is above In these and such like things the mutual Relation betwixt God and a Regenerate Person do shine forth They are tokens that God dwelleth there and he in God Such an one is in a new State because he has betook himself to the Laws Company and Mode of the new Creation created of God in Christ translated to a state of Life in God Lastly A Christian's renewed State obliges him to glorifie God in Body and Spirit and he doth so viz. 1. WHEN the Soul doth acknowledge God to be that which he is in himself Rom. 11. 36. Of him and through him and to him are all things to him be Glory for ever and ever Amen That he is infinitely excellent in his Nature and in his Works and in his Soveraignty 1 Chron. 29. 11 12 13. 2. WHEN God is acknowledged to be that which he is to us in Jesus Christ Exod. 33. 18 19. and 34. 6 7. 2 Cor. 4. 6. and glorified through Christ 1 Cor. 1. 30 31. 1 Pet. 4. 11. 3. WHEN the Spirit of a Man within him and the outward Man also concurring according to his Capacity do act towards God in an inward complying with and actual demonstration of the glorious Nature Will and Grace of God Which is called a walking worthy of God 1 Thes 2. 12. Col. 1. 10. that is to say conformable to him as the word worthy seems to import comparing Eph. 4. 1. with Eph. 4. 4. and as it were bearing his very Image and thereby manifesting what God is to us and what we are to him viz. that God is ours and we are his Now this acting towards God has great variety of Exercise in Believers for a Believer is the Temple of God in which his Glory is more excellently displayed than in all the World besides A BELIEVER by his peculiar nearness to and interest in God is capacitated as a living and active Agent to glorifie God 1 Pet. 2. 5 9. Levit. 10. 3. more than another who is only passive as Pharaoh was Exod. 14. 17. So then he who is not his own but the Lords and the Lord is his his proper Element is to be glorifying of God in all things 1 Cor. 10. 31. as appears in these and the like Particulars viz. 1. To reverence and adore the Majesty of God in all his holy Attributes and Works as Neh. 9. 6. Jer. 32. 17 18 19. Dan. 9. 4 c. and as David and all the people of God were wont to do 2. To be abased before God in the sence of our Disproportionableness and Corruption as Abraham Gen. 18. 27. Jacob Gen. 32. 10. Ezra 9. 15. Dan. 9. 7. did 3. To justifie God in all his dealings Job 36. 3. Psal 51. 4. as Daniel c. 9. v. 4. with Confession and imploring his Mercy Joshua 7. 19. Dan. 9. 18 19. 4. To honour the Father in the Son Joh. 5. 23. and through him 1 Pet. 4. 11. 5. To own God in Christ as the Fountain of every Grace 1 Pet. 5. 10. and every good and perfect Gift Jam. 1. 17. 1 Pet. 4. 11. and the Establisher and Perfecter of it Matth. 6. 13. Thine is the kingdom power und glory Amen 6. To adore him in his Word 2 Chron. 20. 18. Isa 39. 8. Psal 56. 4. and 119. 106. believing it To worship him with Reverence Psal 86. 6. and 99. 9. and to own him in his people Gal. 1. 24. Matth. 10. 24. and them for his sake 7. To abound with the gracious Fruits of Righteousness Joh. 15. 8. Phil. 1. 11. which are by Jesus Christ to the Praise and Glory of God 8. To confess Christ before Men Matth. 10. 33. suffering reproach 1 Pet. 4. 14. and death for his sake Joh. 21. 19. And now Oh that God would lead my heart through all these things by an impartial Search and cause me to compare my present frame of heart and Resolutions with these particular Truths of
his own Word and bring me up to glorifie him in my Body and Spirit which I trust are his Let me yet farther demand of my self a few Questions which relate to the glorifying of God in my Soul and in my Walk 1. Is it so with me that I cannot be quiet but restless under guilt and distance from God Psal 32. 3 4 5. Do I cry Return O Lord Isa 63. 17. why art thou a Stranger Jer. 14. 8. 2. Do I hanker after more Heart-impressions of the Knowledge of God Exod. 33. 18. and 34. 6. Shew me thy Glory 3. Is the whole Will of God my delight and his Word my daily Diet Jer. 15. 16. Job 23. 12. 4. Do I praise Psal 50. 23. and acknowledge God in daily Providences Gen. 48. 15. Prov. 3. 6. not repining at his Discipline Psal 119. 75. but brought nearer to him by Calamities Isa 17. 7. 5. Do I own him so that the hiding of his face doth darken all other comforts to me Psal 77. 2. and his presence support and satisfie in the absence of earthly comforts Psal 142. 5. as it was with David at Ziglag 1 Sam. 30. 6. 6. Do I so approve my self to God that the Approbation Esteem or Praise of Man doth rather vex than please me when my Conscience within me doth smite me 2 Cor. 10. 18. Rom. 2. 29. 7. In case of guilt and fear Do I cast my self upon the boundless Mercy of God declared in Christ to be pardoned purged and revived as a sufficient Remedy 2 Cor. 12. 9. 8. Do I hanker after pure Communion with God so that my heart pants out Oh that my ways were directed c. Ps 119. 5. Cant. 8. 1. Oh Oh? Ps 38. 9. THESE and such like workings do testifie that God is the highest Good and the Centre of Blessedness and infinitely glorious And in these spiritual Operations the Soul doth declare and witness him to be so and therein do evidence that God is his and he is Gods and hereby is highly privileged God will not take things at the worst with him Matth. 26. 40 41. When such an one is at a loss Mercy will surprize and Deliverance overtake him Ezek. 36. 11. when dull his Ears shall be awakened to hear as the Learned Isa 50. 4. he shall be kept night and day Isa 27. 3. Christ will trim and dress him by the Word Ephes 5. 26. and he will earn towards him Job 14. 15. and be with him in trouble Isa 43. 2 3 c. and God will not be ashamed to be called his God Heb. 11. 16. he will wipe away his Tears teach him by his Spirit pardon his Sins justifie his Person in the Person of Christ and confess him to be his at the last day where he shall see his face with joy Job 33. 26. and ever be with the Lord 1 Thes 4. 17. Happy is the people that is in such a case yea Happy is the people happy is every particular person whose God is the Lord Psal 144. 15. AN APPENDIX A CONFLICT of Mind HOw soon did Peter James and John forget the glorious Transfiguration and fell asleep when the Temptation came How soon is Sight gone when the Sun is eclipsed So it is with me When shall I have skill to discern and resist the beginnings of Decay How soon doth a Troop of Armed Men break in at an unguarded Gap I cannot thrust them out again my self but will rather go to him who hath his Bridle in their Jaws and can both turn them back and also lock the Door against them Oh that I could lift up a Jehoshaphat's Cry to the Lord of Hosts Then would the day clear up and I should yet see my Salvation come flying upon the Wings of the Wind and mounted upon the Glouds for my help I have one hard task to do but O thou to whom nothing is hard reveal thy Will and conquer mine My sore Task and Travel is this How to retain a close Application of Union with God in Christ so as that I may prevent the loss of tender Converse and holy reverential Familiarity and Intercourse with him An immoderate minding of somewhat in it self for ought I can yet see not unlawful has been a thorn in my flesh for several days which has spent much venom against my inward Man but I must not succumb to any Adversary there is no safety but in overcoming Help me throughly O my God at this plunge and thou shalt have the honour of the day I would fain enquire into my Soul how I contracted this Distemper and upon enquiry I find it had such steps as these I was withdrawn I know not how from the tender sight of Christ and influences of spiritual Warmth being damp'd Night came upon me and I considered it not my Soul fell asleep but without any Refreshment I awaked a little now and then but Slumber benummed me that I could not rise up I would fain cry out for help but my words were like an Arrow without Feathers that would not reach the Mark and all this while an earthly and momentany matter of delight solicited my fancy aad proffered some pleasure to my mind and in regard I judged it not materially evil I gave way till it had eaten into my Soul like a Canker and began to build its Nest in the very place which I had lately prepared and devoted for the Entertainment of Christ only It was restless and would not yield to Christ's Supremacy in my Affections but still offered some Moon-light Satisfaction to my Mind insteed of the withdrawn Beams of the Sun and when Christ whispered some Conviction into my heart and made it ake and raised some small yernings after him this Glo-worm glistered upon me and though it had neither light nor heat yet it would pretend a competent Ballance instead of the true spiritual light and warmth which I lately had but now found it was retired at a distance from me for my trial and exercise I discerned the Snare but herein lay my Strait My Judgment told me the matter it self was necessary and that a moderate diligence might be employed about it but neither that nor any thing else must dethrone Christ from the chief Seat in my Affections but I found it had so twisted into my fancy that I knew not how to use my thoughts about it with that moderation as would consist with Christ's supream Government and Sway in my inmost delight and affections So that how to divide between the matter it self and my excessive affection to it to do the one and guard against the other here lies the difficulty The matter on which this inordinate fancy fed it self was something relating to LITERATURE which I judged in its own nature lawful and useful To remedy which distemper I poured out my complaint before the Lord and began to muse the following Meditations How to pursue a lawful thing lawfully Be silent O clamorous unreasonable Sence thy Fancy
many times our Warmth is gone our Locks cut our Strength and Comfort departed together and then the poor Soul looks upon his Corruption and all the Engines of his Back-sliding as Amnon did on his deflowred Sister Have her out of my sight Then the Soul lies as weak as any other in an equal Line to the Men of this World but God only who raiseth the Dead for his free Grace and eternal Covenant of Love recovers this loss again restores health to the heart and makes the Soul say I was dead but am alive That a Vein of Life and Beam of Light should run through so many Eclipses and yet live and not utterly be destroyed this is the work of the Lord and it is marvellous in our eyes As there is no Calling in the World that is useful for common Good but hath its Foundation in the Wisdom Pity and Care of God towards his poor Creatures so I believe the same of yours and my desire to God for you is that you may use your Calling only as under his eye and in the wisdom and fear of the Lord c. 1649. To C. A. D. N o 7. YOur friendly and Christian Lines I received and do with you rejoyce in the happiness of your nearest Relation The happiness is the greater in that your Principles do accord as well as your Affections which renders your Condition a more lively Type of the Conjugal Interest betwixt Christ and a Believer You say your experience tells you it is good to wait on God do not forget the same experience in other cases Abound in spiritual Affections to one another as much as you can and in ingenuous Marriage-Love and Affections also but beware of that which is inordinate remembring that they that marry are to be as if they married not 1 Cor. 7. 29 c. It may be you may find new Temptations in your new Condition and God teaching you thereby If so there is still cause of Thankfulness for God has many ways in variety of Trials to teach to purge and comfort I perceive there is that within you which takes little content in high Speculations without Power I think it is no small happiness to be preserved from the vain unsavoury Profession of the times consisting more in Phrase of Words Humane Wit and Pride than Power of Religion Doubtless the ancient Path of Sincerity Humility Patience Love and Fruits of Thankfulness is the best Path for Saints to travel in waiting on God for more enlarged hearts and enlightned eyes both to know and do his Will with the more integrity Ah! the Purity and Spiritualness of the Apostles Writings and the Sermons of Christ There is no cavelling jeering but Bowels of Tenderness and awful sweet Reverence in the things of God Let your thoughts still fix there associate with the most Tender and Sincere and you shall escape the destructive Influence of that seeming religious loosness and Atheism which has I doubt cankered many a hopeful Professor As for my own part I tumble to and fro under Temptations yet reaping this fruit thereby to thirst the more after the day of Christ's Appearance and my Deliverance c. 1651. To B. D. N o 8. I Have as well by others as by your own hand understood how the change of Affairs have layen upon you The Lord I trust will bless the present Suffering to your inward Advantage The less worldly your Affections were in your Employmen the more I hope the loss is alleviated and your heart supported It is good to be industrious so that the Interest above be as the Oyl to the Wheel of all our Actions The Lord in the Interest of his free Love and Presence is able to weigh down the Scale against never so much appearing trouble and to that blessed Portion and Security I do heartily commend you 1652. To B. D. N o 9. GOd has been pleased to put us and continue us long asunder and we have had our variety of Troubles Dangers and Temptations and in regard we can come no nearer each other let us speak at a distance By the view I have made of earthly matters and earthly conditions I can say with my whole heart The best Refreshment is vexation of Spirit and if so then comes this rebuke How have I laid out my Money for that which is not Bread God has delivered me from being a burthen to my Friends and yet my Body and Soul Ah when will it once be is not given up as a Sacrifice to him only Brother I perceive so much of the unsearchable pity of the Lord to me that I know not what to do or say Oh that my heart might break into a thousand pieces and be made up again by the Spirit of Renewing What a misery is it to desire that might live which is nailed to the Cross and crucified Oh for the Newness of the Spirit to see the new Creature that old things might pass away from one end of the Soul unto the other I tremble at the mention of these words because the Power is of God and the dark design of the Lust within me labours to destroy my Interest ruine my Peace and make me unserviceable to my God to whom I am going Oh that I could in the power of my dear Saviour raise my head so high out of the misery that easily besets me as to peep forth into the fresh Air of a whole Resignment even of what I have am or do expect unto God through Christ nakedly and unreservedly You are on my heart before the Lord that you may be saved from your self and World from your fears comforts and hopes that the Kingdom of our dear Lord exalt it self exceedingly in your heart The Lord himself be your Guide to whom alone I can adventure to surrender you I am again returning from my Wives Grave into to seek mine own c. 1652. To D. H. N o 10. DEar Sister I account it my duty to hold up an Intercourse of writing to you as opportunity and time will permit as being sensible in some measure of the state of your inward Man My words have no quickning life the bodily presence of Christ himself could not do it without the Spirit much less the Pen of a sinful Worm but I will send you where this Ware is to be sold at a cheap rate if Complements of Self-preparedness for I can call it no other do not hinder Isa 55. 1. Buy Wine and Milk without Money say it over again without Money What is this the voice of your Beloved without price Is it indeed without price How hard is this one Lesson without price My Guilt can press me down but can it press him down who bears up Heaven and Earth Can my weakness hinder me from lying down There is nothing more acceptable to him as for me to lie down upon him you can never lean too hard upon your well Beloved Nothing troubles him but when you lean from
him Cant. 8. 5. This is true Gospel-venture Hence comes quickning in God's sweet season of God's making How easie think you it were for you to come to Christ if you were without spot But are you not ashamed to let Christ wash you from all your sins You are loath to trouble him so far and yet you can never please him better The greater the work of his Redemption the greater is his Glory This rather wins his heart to you than render you unpleasing or unwelcome to him 'T is his own bewailing Language Ye will not come to me c. If you will look up to the brazen Serpent you will quickly know Freedom There is no condition you can be in but you are well enough if Christ be with you That 's the reason that neither Water nor Fire c. can destroy he is willing be you so too Trust him and see if any condition whatsoever comes short of Remedy where Christ is all in all all for Pardon all for Purging all for Advice Rest and Satisfaction In a few days yours and my Vail will be gone and we shall see and hear who is gone before what now we desire to believe I leave you and my little Child to the teaching and blessing of the Lord c. 1653. To S. D. H. N o 11. I should be glad to receive a Letter written from your heart that Jesus Christ was indeed not only your Portion but your Joy and your Companion he is willing to be so if you be willing that is Gospel-Language and Truth A dear Friend such an one as he doth not love Complements and unwarrantable Modesty See how he takes up Peter Joh. 13. 8. you may you ought to be as free and familiar towards him as he is towards you although with a holy fear and humility It is a vain device of Satan to think that Holiness Strength or Peace can come any other way I am persuaded you do think if some friends you have in the World could do you any good they would The same persuasion may much more truly be applied to him that is both able and willing too only the difficulty is through pride and darkness we are to our own wrong loath to venture Let us now and then lift up our hearts for each other to him who will a few days hence lift up our heads c. 1653. To D. H. N o 12. GOd has hitherto spun out my worldly Being and continued Life My main labour as fast as I can turn other business and thoughts out of doors is to seek the Lord by spiritual Enquiry one hour of close Communion with him is better than a thousand A little I taste by Glimpses and Glances of that Taste but I bless his Name I thirst for more Sometimes my Condition is nothing but almost a very Darkness but my God doth then rouse up a poor dead heart and enlighten it again by and by Oh the Riches of that Goodness that doth so often gird us when we know not he is so near Such a Saviour who is a living Pillar of Atonement and his Nature through Sufferings the very Seat of Compassion for all that come to God by him our Lord our Lord Christ whose Sufferings were not for his own sake and from whom a longing Soul was never repulsed But Oh methinks sometimes the Wonder is too great to be the Lot of such a poor Wretch but a better thought again tells me that this is the very differencing mark of Gospel-faith not to come with a full hand of Righteousness and fleshcontented Preparedness but with a hand and heart fully guilty through the Flesh of all manner of Enmity and Contradiction against the Spirit and Grace of Christ and lay such a heart and hand before him and beg his help to cure that Enmity and stop the mouth of that Contradiction and cause the poor Soul by believing to triumph singly in his Conquest which doth then most singly appear to the eye of Faith when a sick Soul lays the whole weight of his Diseases upon Christ and not touch the bearing of the Guilt of one of them nor endeavour to ease the Shoulder of Christ by one of his fingers Christ neither needs nor desires such help at a Sinner's hand His work is to tread the Wine-press alone thine and mine dear Sister is only to believe and see his Salvation Let us not rashly or impatiently put our hand to the Ark as Uzza did but leave him the whole honour of his own Cross only wait humbly and believingly in the use of Prayer and pondering the Scriptures for there the Spirit appears to form the Soul into a safe and Gospel-rest and create the Image of Christ and will renew by degrees according to the measure of his Grace such a Soul 1653. To S. D. H. N o 13. YOur long large and savoury Letter I received I discern your thirst in those Lines you are not alone in that Agony You know that Thirst is a restless want of refreshing Liquor and you know the Promise calls them blessed although as yet Satisfaction be not given If a restless desire be a Blessing why should not God have the honour of that Dispensation Although the refreshing presence of Christ our Bridegroom have not yet entred the Chambers of your sensible Enjoyment yet Blessed are they that thirst for c. Your whole Letter doth argue Thirst and therefore you are truly blessed and therefore you shall be satisfied I could write many complaining Lines yea I can never complain too much of my vile sinful Body and Mind but in doing that I must not blemish the free Grace of God in Christ yea I am sorry I have done it too much wrong hitherto Devils are against it Flesh and Blood are against it and shall I do so too Let me embrace it rather never mourning from God but mourning towards him in hope above hope Study that word Yield not to weariness nor faintness in mind at no hand through faith and patience you shall inherit it as well as the rest of Abraham's Daughters before you Was not Christ in an Agony Did not he thirst Was not even he straitned And must not you be conformable I say again Rejoyce in it and hold the Hem of his Garment and you will find by and by the vertue come forth he is not deaf he cannot deny himself he does hear and the Vision will speak You do well to pump the Wells of Salvation the Scriptures The Night will not long last the Day is coming the Prince of this World is judged and thy God reigneth I shall one day I doubt not with thee sing the Song of the Lamb beyond sin fear and sorrow I leave thee to his care and love which is far beyond mine I must end but I leave you to him whose words are Life indeed Farewel in the Bowels of Christ to whom I commit you c. 1653. To D. H. N o 14. THe Conveniency
of this Opportunity provoketh me to write to you by this Bearer who has promised to see my Child I desire that as she grows in capacity you would be dropping in somewhat of spiritual things for her tender thoughts to feed upon Though I cannot at this distance see your face yet I know your Temptations in some part and your Deliverance which will in due time appear 'T is good to be carried about and disposed by the hand of the Lord 't is a blessed thing and will one day appear so to rejoyce in the pleasure of the Lord let him do with a poor Creature what he will so he make it more like himself by unselfing you from carnal desires and carnal discontents and fears and transplanting you into the power and joy of believing accounting really the offer of eternal kindness in Christ more Glory than any earthly dying comfort and certainly where the Comforts here can comfort but little the Crosses here can cross but little and shortly farewel both Let your heart plod much on the free Covenant of Grace in Christ by Prayer and Meditation and let your sins come into the same Room with you while you are on that Enquiry When I am at a dead lift then sometimes the Spirit of God takes me up as it were into the Arms of that Covenant which he made with Christ concerning me and whosoever is not a wilful Unbeliever And the very glance of that Salvation wrought by the Lord concerning which I am only to believe sets me again upon my feet I have no other task but to be willing in truth to receive it and I shall have it and if so then you and I shall be sure never to want any one good thing Evil as Evil from the Lord cannot befall us You will then see the favour of God to you in earthly seeming Frowns No such favour as to be dead to sensible Comforts and as a Stranger to earthly carnal Contents though this be tedious to Flesh and Blood yet let it more appear that our Rest is not in these things but in the ever-living God he is your Teacher and I leave you to him 1653. To J. H. N o 15. I Have received your Letter and return you thanks for your love Should I give you a Draft of my Soul it would pity you to see it did not the Mercy of God prevent you would find me in the four last Vices mentioned in Rom. 1. but blessed be the Lord that though there be a Law in my Members warring and tormenting I have in the Lord a little strength and do sometimes view deliverance I have too long had too much content in a Carnal Walking with God and have been satisfied too much in a Carnal Appearance that way There is a way to live with God in the World but it is of his own making no visible or sensible thing can contribute any thing to it and yet I cannot die to these vain helps I shall never understand the word All noted in Matth. 22. 37. till the power of the Most High doth bear it in Ah when will it once be Certainly that Grace will one day be very glorious that hath attended a poor distressed heart through the uncomfortable sights and abundant frailties of this corrupt mortal condition One pure serious true long breathed desire of Christ's appearing gives some deliverance Oh the Glory of that day when the real appearing shall be and all filthy Garments removed and every filthy smell be for ever removed also Let us be found among those that wait for Redemption and wait waking Truly Brother we cannot word out one to another what is the State Duties and Privileges of an Interest in a new Life and hope of Glory The best means the best words yea the Scriptures though not so in themselves are even deceiving to a deceived carnal heart Such a heart will turn the most spiritual things into Flesh and so feed upon them to satisfie carnal Fancy Oh that you and I could start up from fleshly Consultation and listen quietly leisurely and yet greedily and obediently to the meer dictate of the blessed Spirit in his Word Your opportunity and mine of honouring God in the World is very far spent already I desire that you be not only for God in season but out of season also Dear Brother I thought fit to give you a touch of what my poor heart desires to be wrestling in I know you mind the same thing go on therein and prosper there is no other way of Peace but this I am rude but I had rather write my heart than my invention Well Brother I thank you for your good wishes to my poor Child I trust the Lord will vouchsafe her truth of Grace and shed abroad his Mercy and Love into her heart and make it appear as her tender years will bear and manifest the same Remember me to my Sister your Wife whom I have reason also to honour for the goodness of God to her and to you I trust in her I should rejoyce to hear that some others of yours and my poor Friends had the Lord alone for their whole desire and portion I would rather remember such in my Prayers than in my Letter Remember my love to your Sister D. who is I am much assured more precious in God's eye than in her own I leave all News to the Bearer and commend the Remembrance of you to the Lord and remain c. 1654. To S. D. H. N o 16. YOu see this state here is wavering unsetled moving to and fro 'T is a wondrous thing to see how the Lord is pleased to raise up one Wave of disquiet after another to molest the publick Peace and exercise the pains and patience of his people It is no Misery but a Privilege to one that is chosen hence to be emptied from Vessel to Vessel and indeed I scarce know a greater sign of Christ's Conjugal Love than by his Providence to render all other things and Conditions here to be unlovely and undesirable for then the Affections have no where else to centre but in Christ and that makes them go out strong that way Albeit my condition speaks much visible Uncertainty as to this outward Man yet I find a mighty War within me against a free and clear Closing with the certain Riches of Glory which is in Christ in which notwithstanding I trust I have an Interest and have recieved some witness thereof There is a secret joy in the inward part of my Soul and Refreshment at the Remembrance of the Promises of the God of Truth my Rock Sometimes Hope and Desire brings me near to Christ and he to me 'T is an admirable thing to think how a Soul can at the same time be covered over with its Guilt and yet be freed and triumph over the same as removed in Christ truly perfectly and for ever yet this is the Golpel-Doctrine and Experience A Body diseased through Sin yet
You are a Traveller and shall pass from strength to strength till you appear before God in Sion I perceive you have thoughts about some alteration of your Condition and Oh that the same Guide which directed Abraham's Servant in the behalf of Isaac may go before you I should rejoyce more that you were yoaked with a gracious Mate than with the richest Estate in Britain where the Pearl of Grace is wanting I desire to remember you before the Lord. Be much in Prayer as I doubt not but you are and live above your self and above the World in that Transaction Grace and Wisdom and a Religious Stock are excellent Jewels though cloathed in a mean Dress Prov. 31. I say no more but the Lord who is your Refuge be your Counsellor And as you mind me of our spiritual Bond so I desire still to be mindful of it and that we both may incessantly pray for each other Remember me to Brother Daniel in the Bowels of Jesus Christ Let him and you comfort and strengthen one another in the Lord to whom I commend you remaining yours on the best account c. 1657. To D. H. N o 30. COuld I be more in the Spirit I could then write with more freedom but this I know that if I and you have our faces towarn Sion we shall be brought thither at length Our great work is to cease from our selves that the Spirit of Jesus Christ our Lord might have liberty to work in us and for us I know no such Door to the Mediator as to be resigned over to him and to be yielded up to the Salvation and Power of Free Grace 't is the only wholsome Food and Physick of a Sinner When the Soul is widened by Resignation to him and Self-abhorrency then his naked Redemption is sweet welcome and a Soul-satisfying Remedy I oft see a glimmering of this but my eye is weak yet such glimmerings tell me that there and there only lies the First-fruits and hope of Glory I had rather see God do a little in me and for me than do much my self for God's Little is infinite and my Much is nothing in his sight for me to be accepted thereby Therefore is Faith the only Key of all spiritual Treasure which is hid in Christ and in him only And by this going out of our selves to him we are made his and himself and his Treasures of Pardon Righteousness Wisdom and Perfection is made ours Venture your Prayers upon him though they seem to be cast away after many days they will return You can hardly find that ever Christ reproved his Disciples for any thing but Unbelief or little Faith or for not suffering Infants or others to come to him Let all these things teach you and I what is our chief Duty I leave you to the Lord remaining yours in truth and love c. 1658. To B. D. N o 31. YOur two last Letters have much refreshed me because I perceive it is not the Complement of Invention but the heart-raising Spirit of God has been favourable to you Be craving still be thankful still believe through the Clouds God has thus appeared that he may teach you how to live on him when he appears less to Sense you are Heir always to the same Joy and infinitely more when under the saddest hours Expect Trials for every Grace especially for Faith Winter follows Summer but the end will be Victory and Peace of which you have had I perceive a Taste Covet Christ's Image insatiably and to be at his dispose universally and let us bless his Name night and day I want a heart to bless God enough for his goodness to us the day hastens in which it will be done perfectly I am in health of Body labouring under the shameful load of an evil heart yet in hope of Victory through him who liveth for ever to make Intercession for them who desire to come to God through him only Amongst all business publick or private it is good for you and I to be watchful to keep a constant motion upwards constant Tenderness is a rich Treasury Grace is that incomparable Endowment enough to put a lustre upon every other Requisite What Alliance is greater than to be allied in the Communion of the Spirit I perceive God hath favoured you with an Affliction I hope you shall not go without the Blessing of it Be more importunate for a Blessing than anxious about the Loss or troubling your thoughts about Persons or Instruments or about future Events but commit your self and Estate Body and Soul to God as unto a faithful Creator and rejoyce in the hope of a better Resurrection and groan for nothing but the Body of Sin till it is groaned out of doors 1658. To S. D. H. N o 32. I Am glad to see you strive to get up the Hill and do take the right way Go on and prosper he is near who justifieth you Though he stands as it were behind the Wall he hears your Request and all your desire is before him he himself has undertook the whole Light is sown for you the Harvest is coming Lift up your Head your Redemption is sure and your Waters shall not fail You can never lay too much burthen on Christ he bears up the Pillars of the Earth and has already born your burthen the work is over with him and shall be over with you too shortly Yet a little while and he that shall come will come and will not tarry You are not your own Workmanship but his he has lifted up his hand to Heaven and sworn that Blessing he will bless you and shortly tread Satan and every Corruption under your feet Cling about him he will not shake you off your Prayers are heard your Person is accepted Be not weary everlasting Arms are under you the Battel you are in will prosper The greatness of his Power is not to amaze you but to support you his Righteousness is to justifie you that you may not fear your Judge but reverence and love him who has washed you in his own blood and the business is done already and now there is no revoking of it The more difficulties do appear the more you are to triumph in him who overcame by the Blood of his Cross and will not leave you shelterless he can teach you better than I I leave you to him I perceive by your Letter that my dear friend R. M. is dead or rather now I confidently believe perfectly alive beyond Sin and Toil. I know you are not wanting towards that poor Child take her to Heaven as much as you can along with you Let us pray one for another and we shall not seek that blessed face of his in vain I might write much of mine own leanness and unworthiness and I would I could be more sensible of it so as to lay my starved Limbs on that free heart-reviving heart-renewing Covenant of Grace confirmed in the Person of a crucified and risen
Redeemer the Fountain of Acceptation Pardon Life and Health In his hands I desire to leave you and remain c. 1658. To S. D. H. N o 33. I Thought good to send you a Line or two I am my self through the goodness of God in health and in hope of greater things to the Inner Man than I can yet attain My Life is a Warfare in all Respects O blessed be the Lord that is never weary of such a defiled Lump but holds my Soul in some life to this day with expectation that he will never leave till the Wilderness be made a fruitful Field and the Old Man be utterly destroyed for strong is he who hath promised and there shall be a performance to the patient attending on his Word God doth so order the bringing about of our eternal Rest that when he has lifted us over all the Mountains and Valleys of this present Pilgrimage he may at length be admired in them that believe and give matter of eternal Praise when we shall look back and see how we have escaped the devouring Floods and by his hand behold all the present spiritual Enemies lie dead for ever The Weary shall be refreshed the longing Soul satisfied the Captive delivered and the Scattered be yet gathered and return to Zion The Zeal of a faithful and gracious God and our Redeemer will accomplish this Be things how they will yet we are not allowed to say Our Wound is incurable but rather say Salvation is of God and he will be surpassingly wonderful to them that wait on him What though the Fig-Tree do not blossom yet God cannot alter the Word that is gone out of his Mouth Fear not for I have redeemed thee Isa 43. 1 c. Thou art mine to revive the spirit of the humble Isa 57. 15. He delights to dwell among broken Bones as his dwelling place that the Mourners may sing away their grief in God their Saviour There I leave you and commending you to the Lord I rest c. 1658. To D. H. N o 34. SUch is our bodily condition that we cannot make up these distances without the intervening of Letters or Friends but that Communion which I trust we have mutually though under much darkness with the Father and the Son by the Spirit of Grace needs no such helps I trust our Prayers meet at a shorter Cut and that we strive together in the same Faith of the Gospel It may be you find you have much to do to keep your head above water I find the same I bear about the same Body of Death and find the same Contradiction in my corrupt and confused Nature One Christian seems to out-run another till God reveal the mischievous Hell that dwells in our Flesh Then Paul himself will cry out O wretched man that I am and Isaiah that Evangelical Prophet be forced to say All our Righteousness is as filthy Rags What are our poor glimmerings to the brightness of the Sun of Righteousness Were there not an equal Relief in the Mediator for the youngest and weakest of the Flock as well as for them who have long travelled in the Profession of Godliness the Accoutrements of the most experienced Christians would shrivle up and wither away and leave nothing behind in the Soul but such an Out-cry as those Who shall dwell with everlasting Burnings but he that dwells in the burning Bush keeps it from consuming 'T was only the Likeness of the Son of Man that made the three Children in Daniel walk up and down in the Fire and yet safe from burning I will be with you saith God in the Fire and Water his Name is Emanuel God with us His Covenant is free the Purpose of Grace wonderful his good Will ariseth only from himself and will not cannot change and therefore the Sons of Jacob are not consumed We little think oft-times in our fear and discouragement how far our weak Prayers reach they are like an Arrow gone out of our sight and we many times think them lost and forgot and consider not that every dry Groan and watery Tear is put into the Bottle and winds up through the ascending vertue of the Mediation of him who is one with the Father to the Throne of Acceptation Let us comfort one another in this hope that we may labour and travel hard but not faint by the way I remain yours in the highest Bond c. 1658. To S. H. N o 35. I Am much refreshed that the Lord doth so favourably deal with your heart 'T is the best News you can write me of your particular to hear that you are toyling with a bad heart and hurried to and again by one Wave after another This may not be accounted bad News because the straitness of the way to Life consists in such a Warfare 'T is good News to hear that a poor Creature that is not able of her self to think one good thought should earnestly desire to be rid of all sin and that she might own the Holiness of God's Nature against all Pollution The Thirsty shall be filled that 's good News Matth. 5. 6. Always keep these two Supports ready viz. God is both able and willing to perfect his work in you to the end Whatever your Fight be let your Weapons be Prayer and Faith and you shall get the day I leave you to the Lord and rest c. 1658. To B. D. N o 36. I received the sad News of my deceased Sister blessed be the Name of him who was dead and is alive and will shortly cause the Dead to come forth that will be a blessed day for all the Redeemed to visit their precious Kindred And blessed be him who has in any gracious measure watered your heart let him favourably add this also viz. That upon all the Glory there be a Defence This is by my precious Friend whom God hath mightily rescued by his Grace I want nothing but more Communion with that God which you pant after more Faith more Truth and Resting upon him more Satisfaction in him that I may say and believe and sing God is my Portion Will he not rend the Heavens Will he not rend these hearts and appear That the Mountains of every fear and disquiet may skip like Lambs before the presence of our God When shall the Promises be Substance and a faithful compassionate God be an abundant Salvation Can the lowring face of an uncertain World and the things thereof make the Promise and unchangeable good Will of God of no effect doth not he whisper through every dark Cloud and say Come up hither The Lord open our ears to Instruction and let us rejoyce to take our leave of that which will not profit Every Prayer we make saith We have chosen an invisible Inheritance Oh what a glorious thing is Faith at a desperate pinch Then is his Throne high and lifted up when Christ is in profit and loss in life and death the hearts advantage above these
lower Ebbings and Flowings The Lord be with you c. 1659. To B. D. N o 37. IT were a miserable thing for a gracious heart to suffer Crosses if the Curse were in them but seeing their Nature is changed our misery doth not lie in such Dispensations but our Instructions are therein though it is hard to say and believe it and when the Clouds seem to gather thick over ones head then to claim sheltering teaching and purging Power under the Wings of God and to sing as Luther was wont Psal 46. God is a Refuge for us Selah that is a posture some way becoming an Heir of Life and Glory whose Estate is truly secured beyond Thief or Moth. I am sometimes even amazed to think how short I come of what I seem to be and of real acknowledging that God and living in that absolute blessed Covenant which I profess my self a sharer in And doth not these things require rough Dispensations inward or outward to awaken and send a poor Sinner home to that Advocate who is King Prophet and Priest to help But alas dry words my leanness my leanness yet strong is he who hath in some part already and will yet further one day totally remove all things that offend Let us bless him love him and honour all his ways The Lord help you and I to live above the Changes of this lower World There is a Magnanimity in Faith which overcometh the World if we could but attain that pitch The Lord establish our hearts and hopes upon himself he changes not and blessed be his Name I leave you with him and rest c. 1659. To D. D. N o 38. I Know no Refuge but in God and blessed be his Name his Name is a strong Tower this World is but a withering Portion a bad Prop to lean upon the Covenant of Grace will make amends for all I may not complain unless it be against my Unbelief God must have the Glory of all his works and therefore blessed again and again be his Name he hath not left his people whatever the World expect or think and therefore let us charge our hearts to resist sinful Melancholy his ways are still Mercy and Truth and the Children of Zion must shall and will rejoyce in their King a mighty King their and our Saviour The Lord is the Pilot of his Church and People the Vessel may be tost but cannot miscarry such honour and privilege have all believing Penitents The Clouds are thick below but the Lord rules above and hath said It shall be well with the Righteous And though I am unrighteous yet he who I desire to make the Object of my Faith is perfect and in his Righteousness I trust mine there I would cling and rejoyce in the hope of the Glory of God yet to be revealed c. 1659. To D. H. N o 39. SEeing our time here is a Warfare 't is a comfort to perceive the Lord's presence with any poor Soul so as to make it stand out in hope and prayer while Temptations and Corruptions like fiery Darts are flying thick on every side It never goes desperately ill with those that travel towards Zion and are acquainted with Assaults from Satan and hearttreachery from themselves till they begin secretly to whisper Rebellion against the Covenant and Law of God's Grace and say There is no help for me in God David's Excellency lay not so much that he was freer from Sin and sinful Miscarriages than others but in this that he could not endure to say or hear others say of him There is no help for him in God Psal 71. 11. c. 3. 2. and c. 42. 10. That was the Anchor that made him ride out Storms and the Rope that drew him up out of many a deep Pit Let us use the same means with reverence and yet with freedom God is a jealous God and cannot endure to be accounted changeable Jer. 33. 24 25. he keeps both ends of the Covenant and will not give the Glory of any part of that Trust out of his own hands Every Desire every Thirst and Exercise of Resolution or Hope heavenwards and every Soul and Body-deliverance to such ariseth from this viz. that God is faithful 2 Thes 3. 3. though our Labour and Prayer ought therein also to be employed viz. as the means which God has commanded on our part for a Closing with the efficatious vertue of his Spirit by believing whereby the force of Christ's Death and Resurrection becomes singly applicable to remove Guilt and confer a gracious Conformity to his Nature and the Law of Righteousness in the Soul I see you level at the right Mark and own your Relief from the right place and why may I not say You shall yet see greater things than these c. 1659. To D. H. N o 40. THe Lord be praised that you are within such a Covenant that nothing can befall us for evil while our eye is truly rolling heaven-ward yea within such a Covenant as is confirmed in the Blood of him who is able to turn the heart and eye heaven-ward That God hath dealt so favourably with your heart as to tie it to a hungry pursuit after him is much comfort to my Soul and matter of praise to his Name And I account it no small Mercy that my Child is under your care and both of you under God's gracious Wing When we acquaint one another that every day we live is a day of Battel and that the Enemy within us doth rage this is no reason of discouragement because the Battel is the Lords I am put every day to fly to the City of Refuge and I bless the Lord I never found the Gate quite shut against me yet I am forced sometimes methinks to squeeze in Which difficulty ariseth from my Unbelief and want of retaining a frame of tender Resignation not from any straitening in his Bowels but in my own but these days of distance are hastening away I perceive your eye grows dim the Lord bless the Means for Recovery however be not dismayed you shall want never an eye when your Body shall be raised incorruptibly 't is not long thither the Redeemer will be seen eye to eye and then farewel all Imperfections c. 1659. To D. H. N o 41. I Perceieve B. Cr. hath much trouble through Indisposition of Body and it is good it should be so though disquieting to the Flesh and you have a gracious share I perceive also In such Cases it will be some help to turn our thoughts from poring upon the Affliction it self and endeavour by all means to find out the Lesson which God is teaching thereby for that is properly and truly our work in that Christ hath born the Curse for us he hath taken away the wrathful Penalty and left only an awakening and instructory Nature in all the Afflictions that his People meet with Isa 27. 7 8 9. and 63. 9. Psal 89. 30 31 32 c. Oh that
continue at present in this place waiting the issue of things which the Lord direct and over-rule to the best In the midst of all these weighty Providences and rolling Waves 't is good to look well to our Anchor and to be securing the main Uncertain Peace uncertain created Comfort uncertain Life do require us to lean but gently upon such things and to grasp after an Inheritance a Life a Portion which fadeth not a Country where neither Sighs nor Groans nor Sins have any place If great Shakings cannot throughly awake 't is a sign the Drowziness is very great if not deadly 'T is good to be very busie when the Inch of Candle is near at an end The Lord teach us heartily to improve our present Minute and enter into the Ark before the Flood come c. 1660. To M. N. N o 51. I Having had some opportunity to discern the frame of your heart and the truth of your Thirst after Jesus Christ and Resignation up to him I thought fit while I was writing to other Friends at N. C. to present you also a Line or two 'T is but a little that one Friend can write to another but where there is a mutual Interest in the same Spirit there is a Freedom through that Communion to expatiate large and wide in one anothers joynt Concernments and to bear a sence of the various Travels of the inward Man and how it is exercised in you who are begotten of the same God and Father and nourished by the same Spirit in Jesus Christ And in this respect one Christian may in some measure read the Condition and Affairs of another in his own Experience though the manner of Trials may be different The most that I would say to you is this Labour to satisfie your heart against Guilt by the personal Righteousness and Worth of Christ which you are commanded to own and put on by believing as a Garment made and appointed of God for your wearing fixing your eye on his Appointment and not upon your Unsuitableness on his Grace and not at all on your own Worthiness unless it be to urge you towards him with the more speed and resolution This is a Lesson I am every day learning and I know no shelter like it The Improvement of the Covenant of Grace in this manner was to the Prophet David all his Salvation and all his desire This is the Shelter that will keep dry when the Floods come This will make a Soul out-face Terror and give an Answer to turmoiling Accusations This will make the Lame to leap as a Hart and the Dumb to sing when Woes do over-spread the Earth I recommend you to this Sanctuary c. 1661. To D. H. N o 52. I Perceive my Aunt hath had her Weakness returned upon her such is the Constitution of this Clayey Lump But what a wonder is it that a Treasure of Grace and eternal Life should ever dwell through all the days of our Sin Trouble and Vanity in such a Tabernacle and that the Spirit of Christ the Spirit of Grace Holiness and Glory should never cease striving in the midst of all that Opposition and course Entertainment on our part and never give over till our Sins be utterly and for ever extinguished and Mortality swallowed up of Life and so these vile Bodies and polluted Souls made conformable to our Redeemer and the eternal Companions of his Bosom Let us fix our eye there and we shall be always projecting for him and never discontented with our Travel though we rid but little Ground Let us prize him and love him and all his Rules and Orders himself in the first place and all the rest for his sake only And that makes our work our delight not our toil and vexation for there is no want of help either for Strength or Pardon or both He takes Sinners to himself that he may spend Intimacy of Good Will upon them and never lets them go quite out of his hands any more Oh how little do we know him How little do we remember that every Conviction we have had every Groan every desire of Soul after him was born first in his heart and given to us as the new Creatures Food to ripen it for Glory We breath towards him in the strength of his own Breath We may be yet much more winnowed but cannot be lost nor our Faith quite fail because he prays for us as never meer Man did His Prayers cannot but speed for the Will of the Father Son and Spirit is one Will for they are one God and that Will is nothing but good Will to us who hope in him and catch hold of his free Covenantgood-Will to Men. I have now lately News out of the North that my dear Brother D. is departed out of this World How should these things make us love to be trading for that Country where all our best Friends go and not think it much that this World yields so many sorrowful bits because God never appointed it for our abiding place but only that we may hear his Voice and be contracted to him while we are below in order to the consummating the Marriage above The Lord make us chearfully serious in the business of our day while it lasteth to prepare to lanch forth when our Lord shall call Blessed are they who watch c. 1661. To D. A. N o 53. WHat God speaks in his Word we may take for our comfort to carry us through the Myre till we land beyond Sin and Pain The Salvation of such poor Sinners as you and I was and is the delight of the blessed Trinity The Father did in his Grace and Love elect the Son delighted to come and do the Father's Will in Redeeming the Holy Spirit loves to apply it and therefore is called the Comforter the Angels rejoyce that good Will from God is come to Men. If God say you must go to the Top of the Mount and die set your face towards him who has died before you to bring you through Fly to the meer Grace and Love of the glorious God that has designed Pardon and Righteousness for poor Sinners for his own sake in the Person of his own Son If he say you must lanch forth roll upon the Rock of Ages alone The wearier you are of your Sins the more welcome to a Saviour The wearier you are of your pains and burthens the sweeter will be the Bosom of an indulgent Father when you arrive at your Father's House The whole Race of the Residue of the Redeemed are your Fellow-travellers The whole Trinity is on your side the Scriptures on your side the eternal Covenant of Grace on your side while you bow your head and lean only on your beloved Redeemer Look up to him and fear not your passage I leave you to the Arms of endless Care Counsel Comfort Strength and Pity c. 1661. To D. H. N o 54. OUr work in this World is only to follow
Ground When we hear News that our Troubles will one day expire there is some refreshment with it and not a little support the while But Oh for ever blessed be that glorious Hope that not only outward Troubles but Sin also shall be no more yea and that while we are striving and toiling under a Body of Sin we are yet stated in the second Adam brought over from a state of Sin to a present state of Righteousness Acceptation and Blessing This is the Crown and Conquest of Faith Hope and Consolation All these things will I give yea said the Tempter if thou wilt fall down and worship me Ah cursed and deceitful Proffer Let my Portion and yours be found still and for ever in a crucified risen Christ If he loved us when he washed us in his own Blood then no slaying Providences can separate from the same Love so that we may musing the matter aright say he loved me when he hurried me hither and thither when he brake my Bones emptied me from Vessel to Vessel made me as the Mire of the Street Yet his Blessing once bequeathed can never be revoked nor his eternal Love change Though his Paths are in the Deep and his Ways and Judgments past finding out while he maintains in our Souls a Cry after him which is the voice of his own Spirit interceding in us he hath not forgotten to be gracious nor caused his Bowels to cease from yearning toward us Sin only makes outward Burthens intollerable Outward Troubles declare the venom of Sin and tends to open the ear to instruct us and so both of them sends the Souls of the Redeemed to the Atonement of Christ's Blood for Healing and into his Bosom for Refuge Certainly Brother his Promises are as good now as they were before the Storm rose upon us and the Covenant of Grace and Love and Good Will smiles as much as ever and when the Cloud is blown over and gone we shall see it Now to justifie God's truth and submit to his wise hand to maintain good and honourable thoughts of him and all his dealings when so many things from without and also from within do war against it this is like the faith of God's Elect and doth in some blessed measure betoken the knowledge of what God is in himself and what he is eternally to us and that the Seed of God remaineth in us I leave you in his hand and to strive under your Affairs as he shall give you Wisdom and Strength Lord purge and heal us he will do it and all will be well Let us hold on to pray for each other for the Vision will speak c. Yours to love and live with you in the Lord c. 1662. To P. D. N o 68. I Have no other thing to recommend to you but this that as you have already found this present World to be a slippery Foundation so beware how you lay the whole stress of your Expectation upon it or the persons in it A thirsty Man may dream that he drinketh yet when he awakes he may faint The drink of a Dream gives not nourishment 't is only the Water of Life issuing from the Rock Christ that is satisfying and healing He that drinks thereof shall never thirst Frowns and favours of Men are some of the strongest Engines the Devil has to shake a Soul from simple and single hearted following of the Lamb and besides them the treachery of our carnal and unbelieving hearts is ever watching to betray our poor Souls into a dis-relish of the pure paths of Life dulling the edge of Zeal and blinding the eye from beholding the Excellency that lies in the Person of Christ crucified and risen and the excellent Grace that has shone from Heaven for recovering poor Sinners out of the Snare of the Devil So that you and I have need to be much attending at the Foot-stool of that Throne where the Lord of Life sways the Scepter of Relief Mercy and saving Health for all Comers Let my Portion be in the Fountain of Life and not in the broken Cisterns of earthly deceitful Contents If you would save your self from grieving the good Spirit of God which I trust dwells in you retire your self as much as you can into the Contemplation of such things as may cause the fear and love of God to be and remain with some odoriferous Verdure and kindly grow in your Soul And take an ingenious and serious view whether the Plants of the Lord do flourish or else are blighted No less than an infiniteness of Power is requisite to such work and he only who engageth his heart to it lieth under the Promise of the Influences of Heaven to quicken and satisfie him with good things full of Marrow I have no more but recommending you to the Lord to keep you from declining in a declining time and that you may be preserved from evil and your Affections be where Christ is I remain c. 1662. To S. H. N o 69. I Know you yearn after the same Country which I have some hope through the Riches of that Bounty that has appeared from Heaven to Men to see and when the Groans here below are over to breath forth Blessing Honour and Praise to him who I trust has loved us both and washed us in his own Blood and I have some ground to hope the number there will be one the more for your company Only spend your love upon him your delight in him your desires after him and every part of his Will as well to carry the Cross as wear the Crown for both are privileges When your heart is opprest with sin or trouble then think Oh how free is he from sin who sits Conqueror at the Right Hand of God as my Advocate Surety Redeemer yea my principal self whose I am by his Redemption more than I am mine own Sins evil thoughts Heart-lusts dispondency of Spirit shall not always teare and torment for he has judged them in his Flesh upon the Tree and is risen on our behalf I could write a Volume had I words and time of the terrible Inroads which the Enemy especially my own corrupt heart makes upon me but I doubt not you know the same Warfare What remains but that with Faith Hope and Patience we cry out How long Lord holy and true how long ere the Canaanite be expelled and these Thorns in our Flesh be consumed for ever Oh what pure and uninterrupted Communion with Christ will that be when neither sin within nor troubles and fears without shall gaul any more when Melancholy Doubts and Uubelief as a black Cloud shall be dispelled and dried up for ever before the sparkling face ef the Sun of Righteousness solemnizing the Marriage of his Spouse We have no Oratory that can out-pass what he has already uttered concerning this and his words are not vain though ours are many times too too chaffy about these things the more is the pity it should
things for good well enough Pray much as I believe you do he will be your Sanctuary in a strange Land I must take my leave and do leave you to our good God who has been the God of our Parents and has had wondrous love to their Seed blessed be his Name He is our God and will be our Guide to the death and after that also HALELUJAH The War ripens apace as 't is feared but through fair Weather or foul our Pilot has engaged we shall have a good Landing at last Our Redeemer is most wise and strong and therefore we may still lift up our heads in Faith Hope and Comfort I recommend you to the Lord whose I am persuaded you are whom you serve and who will never leave you 1664. To B. D. N o 79. I Do not doubt but the same God who has made Communion with himself sweet to you will gather you under his Wings and perfect in you the good pleasure of his Will What a Majestick Privilege is this that the omnipent God should voluntarily be in the nearest Covenant with a poor Sinner That Christ God-man should be our Priest our Advocate and every hour of the day and night alive to make Intercession for all those who come to God through him What though great and new Temptations come and sore Tempests arise he did doth and can still say to the Storms Be ye allayed and they all must obey him Strong is our Redeemer and therefore the Floods cannot drown a weather-beaten Vessel yea he is both Ship and Pilot and therefore the Venture cannot miscarry Who is it that keeps the small Grain the little spark of Faith alive but he who made Jonah in the Deep to say Yet I will look again towards thy holy Temple Our whole care and burthen lies upon his hands who bears up the Pillars of the Earth he lives to give and nourish Faith and in believing to give Peace Therefore Sin shall not have utter Dominion nor Condemnation find room to enter He is bringing us through many Waters to a safe Shoar The Victory determined and promised will break forth because our Head is exalted above all Authority and Power We may look all manner of Deaths and Damps all manner of Disappointments Discountenances and Difficulties here below in the face without an apaled heart and amazing terror because the Prince of Life and Deliverance has engaged his Life his Crown and Dignity to be the Hope and Strength of his poor Servants Happy is that Soul that makes him his only and continual Refuge as I perceive you do and blessed be his Name for it Mr. Th. Tr. is dead c. and thus rolls away the World and the things and Lusts thereof c. The days of an anxious Pilgrimage are running out The Lord direct our eyes to that serene and unchangeable state where sins fears and Temptations turmoils and difficulties will cease for ever to the comfort and Communion of whose gracious Spirit I commend you c. 1665. To D. H. N o 80. AS for your Complaints turn them into Prayer and make the same Moan to Christ as you do to me he has not only fellow-feeling but can succour also All other Friends can but administer words but he is not only willing but able also to succour them that come to him All that we can do is but to hand over his Relief to one another therefore tell him all your mind when you are weary sit down at the Fountain and drink never expect Medicine elsewhere The more you expect from him the more you get The more you talk with him the better you will be acquainted and he loves such Society He is not harsh and strange but as a prudent Father and Husband full of Bowels and takes nothing so ill as your standing aloof off He loves Holiness and a composed Walk with him but to the end that he may teach a Soul how to come by it he leaves that Soul sometimes to darkness discomposedness and deadness that it might be forced to know him and to be exercised in going to himself as all the Store-house we have and to believe our Acceptation our Growth and Fruitfulness to be only in Union and Communion with him by his Spirit But these things he can teach you best c. 1665. To B. J. D. N o 81. I Do by one or other sometimes hear of your health which is welcome News to me Although the years of my life have not reached the number that yours are now at yet methinks the Lord hath given me a fair Respuit to seek that Pearl which doth surmount the value of the whole World and the Lusts thereof which pass away but the deceit pollution and negligence of my own heart is such under a too short improvement of time in a day of Grace under the means thereof that I may cry out Where have I been What have I done all this while How little have I answered the Gospel-Call How little have I pried applyingly into the Mystery of Christ And what miserable Returns have I made to all the bounteous offers of the Gospel that I have read and heard But yet the Lord hath in some part hinted to my Soul that he has made with me in Christ an everlasting Covenant There I desire humbly to cling and there to place all my Expectation my hope of Acceptation and Salvation and all my desire And you that have seen more days than I have done I intreat you also to give them a serious review Let neither of us leave our choicest Concernments at uncertainties Oh for a rouzing visit from the God of all Grace upon each of our hearts that may alarm us out of our selves into the City of Refuge before we are benighted Let each of us be as much afraid to have any wholsome Conviction die upon us now as we would be afraid hereafter to be found without our Wedding-Garment I have little News but that the Plague is greatly increased and seems to import that Wrath is gone forth The Lord help us to put our house our hearts in order with the utmost zeal and diligence The Alarm from Heaven sounds lowder and lowder and seems to give more than an uncertain sound It speaks out divine Wrath most apparently happy would this City and Land be if it heard and submitted to the voice of the Rod. Let us look out and be fitted to meet our Lord. 'T is pity to let an eternal state be at uncertainties with us when a temporal life is thus tottering Such a flying to Christ as is accompanied with a clear Resignation of our Wills wholly to his Will is the best Preparative for our Change 1665. To B. J. D. N o 82. THough there is not often intercourse betwixt us by Letters yet I can truly say you are many times upon my heart The affairs of your precious and never-dying Soul is as to you the principal Theam of my anxious and affectionate
sweetly through all difficulties and procure a Blessing to your self and your Affairs and be the best Foundation of Hope and Comfort when and where-ever the Lord shall period your days which is my earnest desire and Prayer on your behalf 1672. To C. J. D. N o 112. I Must now acquaint you that I received News from the East-Indies that doth not a little affect me that God has been pleased to remove my Cousin your dear Husband out of this World who finished his days the fifth of September last and his death lamented by those that knew him I am sorry that this Letter must be the Messenger of those sad Tidings unto you but God is wise and we are to submit to his holy Will and Pleasure It was surprizing News to me The Lord support your heart under this Affliction and teach you his Will and provide for you and yours I cannot enlarge at this present for every word I write about it makes my heart to ake the Lord grant you patience to whose Care and Teaching I desire to commend you c. 1672. To B. J. D. N o 113. I Am glad to hear that you are in health which the Lord continue with the Addition of the highest Blessing That spiritual Endowment and that Interest in Christ that saving and powerful work of Grace and that activity for God in the ways and power of Godliness and that exemplary patern of Holiness in your Walk which can only render long Life a Blessing and truly make an hour of dissolution sweet and the consideration of that great day of our Appearance to be pleasant and upon safe Grounds desirable That famous and laborious Minister Mr. Joseph Carrill your ancient Friend and Companion is departed this Life aged about seventy one years his death greatly lamented by the People of God throughout this City About the beginning of his Sickness I was with him and he enquired concerning you as he was wont to do and perceiving him to be somewhat weak though he did not then keep his Chamber I desired him while he was yet alive to pray for you which motion he chearfully and readily embraced And coming to him again about three days before his death found him very weak and past hope of life he then told me as well as I could understand him for his Speech was low that he had remembred his Promise to me concerning you I think good to mention this particular passage to provoke you to all seriousness in reference to your own Soul whose eternal welfare lay so much upon the heart of this Servant of Christ His Labours were great his Studies incessant his Conversation unspotted his Sincerity Faith Zeal and Wisdom gave a fragrant smell among the Churches and Servants of Christ His Sickness though painful born with patience and joy in believing and so he parted from Time to Eternity under full Sail of desire and joy in the Holy Spirit He lived his own Sermons he did at last desire his Friends to forbear speaking to him that so he might retire himself which time they perceived he spent in Prayer oftentimes lifting up his hands a little and at length his Friends seeing not his hand to move drew near and perceived he was silently departed from them leaving many mournful hearts behind And now dear Brother Oh that this may be an exciting motive to you and I to redeem the time which the Catterpillers have eaten that we be not found unready And if ever you expect to be a Companion again with Mr. Carrill break off from all such Company which were not his delight Concern your self to make a fresh and through Surrender to God in your old Age. Beg I beseech you beg such a Convincing impartial heart-breaking sight of your sins in Youth and old Age that may force you to Christ for Refuge while he may be found and beg his Spirit that you may glorifie him on Earth the few days that yet remain as signally as ever you have dishonoured him What a joy will it be to this glorified Saint Mr. Carrill at the last day to see that his Prayers for you have prevailed Dear Brother I pray excuse my earnestness in what I have written It may be you and I may never see each other in this World you are much upon my heart I mean as to your eternal Estate and glad I should be to hear of some eminent Change as to Soul-Concernments before either I hear of yours or you hear of my lanching forth into vast Eternity where there can be no more Changes and the hour is near in which the eye that hath seen you shall see you no more As the Tree falls so shall it lie the eternal Judgment follows Death at the Heels I can say no more it must be Divine Power and Grace that must set the Wheels a going if ever they move And therefore whilst I am in this World I hope I shall not cease to pray for you whilst you are in this World also for our Prayers cannot reach beyond the Grave Dear Brother farewel yea fare better and better till you fare best of all c. 1673. To F. H. N o 114. I And you are creeping towards our last Change the thoughts of which can be no farther comfortable to us than we have obtained some good hope through Grace that we are united to Christ our sins forgiven for his sake and that we are accepted and beloved of God in him and all this evidenced to our own hearts by the witness and the renewing vertue of his own Spirit all which requires a necessity of being convinced of our own vileness by sin and that we go out of our selves and humbly lay hold on Christ by Faith that when we die and remove from hence having lived on him and unto him here we may live in him and with him for ever Our Friends here are generally in health and none of them without their Cares in reference to the difficulties that do attend this present State and Pilgrimage some in one kind some in another Oh that God and Christ and the Riches of his Grace revealed by his Spirit in the Word may be the more sweet to the Soul I shall only say the Lord direct your feet in the Paths of Life and crown your old Age with a saving Knowledge of Christ with a through Conviction of your Sin of Nature and Life and guide you to him as your only Refuge to glorifie his Grace while you live and rest in his Peace when you shall be here no more c. 1673. To P. D. N o 115. I Am glad to understand by your Letter that your Family is in health and that the Lord is pleased to keep your eye directed to him in your outward Affairs with a savoury sense of all the spiritual Enjoyments you lie under longing after suitableness to them and an increased value of them Real Thankfulness for them doth much consist in such kind of
Affections The Lord's Promise is to satisfie the longing Soul To whose favourable Hand and rich Grace I commend you Faithful is God who hath called you into the Fellowship of his dear Son and thereby you have boldness to enter in within the Vail and he hath promised you shall never be cast out for your Iniquities he will remember them no more And though the Cross be somewhat difficult to bear yet the Reserve at last will fully recompence all and therefore lift up your head for Redemption is coming c. 1674. To B. D. N o 116. I Bless the Lord I can remember and mention you as one who is interested in that Promise Jer. 32. 41. I will rejoyce over them to do them good and that he will never leave you till he has perfected that which concerns you in a way of Grace Mercy and Love My great and often Request on your behalf is above all that God would preserve you from the Evil of Sin and from Snares in your daily Walk that he would sprinkle you with the Blood with the Merit of Christ's Satisfaction and Righteousness that he would direct your Path and do all your Works in you and for you and cause you to lean strongly and chearfully on the Arm of his Truth and Grace in reference to all present and future Trials and that you may more than conquer through believing in every Exigence you do or may meet with till the Warfare be accomplished and the days of Trial finished in the Fruition of perfect Freedom For my own part I have reason to bless the Lord that he has favourably held me up and carried me along now these many years since we saw each other though exercised me with some difficulties and considerable Losses yet I hope and do think he has some way or other a Reserve of Kindness for me unworthy me and mine for the Earth is the Lords and the fulness of it And through this Grace I have in some measure and desire held on still to chuse him for my Portion as to things present and eternal As his time was writing of one deceased so your and my times are in the hands of God who is most wise and to be adored and submitted to The days of our anxious Pilgrimage are running out the Lord direct our eyes to that serene unchangeable State where Sins Fears Temptations Turmoils and Difficulties will cease for ever To the Care Counsel Comfort and Communion of whose gracious Spirit I commend you 1674. To T. M. N o 117. SOme time since I received from you a large and very savoury Letter which I do now and then peruse as a friendly Monitor and good help for taking the better view of mine own heart and that Letter together with the Acquaintance I had with you in London doth cause me the oftner to remember you with delight I have understood of your Health by several Friends which I desire if the Lord please may continue and prosper as I am persuaded through the Influences of the Spirit of Christ and his unchangeable Love your Soul prospers To that rich Grace of Christ and to his blessed Conduct in all your Concerns I commend you c. 1674. To H. W. N o 118. REmembring that ancient Amity and Respect that was heretofore between my Father and your self and the continuance thereof for a long time after his Decease between your self and his Family and being not at all conscious to my self that I have for my own part hitherto merited much less designed the Suspence of that good Will but being still heartily desirous of your Welfare I am though distant in place yet as occasion presents often enquiring how 't is with you and understanding that your days are yet drawn forth and that your Pilgrimage though under much infirmity of old Age doth yet continue I was willing to evidence my real Respects unto you by a Line or two and as I do not doubt but that your general aim throughout your days have been to employ your Talent in the Service of Christ while strength and time permitted so I earnestly desire that in the Approaches of a Dissolution you may find that fulfilled to you which David prayed for viz. That the Lord would not leave him in his old Age when Strength faileth Psal 71. 9. The same I desire for you even that you may now experience the refreshing vertue of all those Gospel-Truths which Christ hath so long intrusted you with as his Messenger unto others that you may have the Merit of his Satisfaction and Righteousness applied for your perfect Absolution from all Sin and Guilt the Influence and Conduct of his Spirit to water and steer all your Meditations thoughts hopes and desires the Consolations of his Grace and Love to sweeten your Travel through the Valley of Death and give you at last a refreshing Arrival at the Throne of eternal Rest and there harbour you after all the Incumbrance and Warfare of this present state in the Fruition of his immediate Presence without spot in Jesus Christ the Glimpses whereof I heartily desire you may before-hand partake of as an Earnest of that great full and perfect Revelation and Enjoyment when Time shall be no more So with my hearty and unfeigned Respects I remain yours in Truth and true Affection c. 1674. To H. W. N o 119. I Received yours of the 25th past which was exceeding welcome to me and therefore I return you hearty thanks both for it and your candid Acceptation of that Token I sent you being an Indication such as it was of the respect and value which from my very heart and that deservedly I bear towards you Your Letter written as I see with an aged feeble hand I have read over with great Acceptation and account it to me the same as a precious Balm I understand that Mr. Oxenb after a very small time of Sickness in a few moments space departed this Life And thus we are dropping away hastning towards a Dissolution where the eye that now seeth us shall see us no more Blessed be that Redeemer who will not call home any of his peculiar number before he has finished the design of his Grace and the purpose of his Will by them and in them And blessed are those Souls that are in any saving measure helped by his Spirit to creep out of themselves into his heart and in that Union partake of all the Benefits of his Death and Purchase both for present Grace and hope of Glory In which number I am undoubtedly persuaded that you are included and that you lie under the Aspect of that Divine Goodness and Love which will feed the Oyl in your Lamp and cause your Lamp to be ready trimmed and burning that so when the Bridegroom comes and calls you off to Immortality and Life you may be able to say Loe I come for all is ready Such a readiness the Lord grant also to my poor Soul To his
of Time under the Hope of Eternal Life and through the Goodness of the Lord do yet enjoy the Company of my dear and suitable Yoak-fellow as a Helper and sweet Companion with me in my Voyage I had also a gracious Child my Daughter Elizabeth whom the Lord eminently prepared for himself and then translated her hence and God has left us one little Branch the Lord grant she may love to tread in the good steps of her Sister and enter at last into the same Rest I heartily desire it may every way go well with you and that though distance of place hinder our Converse here yet we may at last see the Face of Christ and one another in the perfection of Purity and fulness of Joy in a better Country 1676. To C. S. D. N o 125. I Understand by Mr. F. that you are all in health long may it continue and well may your Time and Health be improved And as to any Counsel that I am able to give you 't is far short of what you do or may receive not only from the solemn Ministration of the Gospel by the faithful Dispencers of the Word but also by those excellent Books fit for Meditation Use and Application of which I suppose you have many lying by you Only I would say this The chiefest part of Religion that which in Scripture is called the Kingdom of God lies chiefly in heart-renewing Power whereby the Throne and Dominion of Sin is broken with daily Warrings against it and daily labouring to be free from its Captivity and to that end there is a necessity of the Conviction of our sinful yea damnable Condition by Nature and that not only in our own Opinion and Judgment but in real view sense feeling and inward Operation and Exercise that so the knowledge of and Interest in Christ may appear indispensibly necessary and perfectly desirable as a Propitiation for Sin and to translate the Soul into the pure Image of himself in this World as the Fore-runner of an eternal Fruition of all that Blessedness he died to purchase And upon manifold Considerations it doth eminently concern you to dig for this Wisdom as for hid Treasure You have and may further see what a lean satisfaction it is that this lower World doth afford what a Sandy Foundation it is to build our hope delight or dependance upon and how soon every Flower withers Therefore daily beg of God Light Truth in the inward part and saving Wisdom to be your Principle and Guide through the residue of Time Unto his Grace I commend you and rest c. 1677. To C. H. D. N o 126. I Received your Letter and delivered that you sent my Brother both he and I are sensible of the loss of your only Brother It doth concern you to consider the Voice of God in these Afflictions one after another and to improve them so as to make God himself in Christ your only standing Refuge And certainly if these things do cause you to turn your eyes directly upon him and to centre in him alone you will find him the Husband of the Widow and Father of the Fatherless In every trouble our wisest course is to endeavour to learn what God is pleased to say to our Souls therein which is to get the hearts of his People more united unto himself by Faith and clear Resignation for though the things and Persons of this World do wither and fade yet God himself is the Rock of Ages and hath promised The Righteous shall not be utterly desolate for in the Fire and in the Water he will be with them and never leave or forsake them And therefore I would desire you to endeavour rather to improve your Affliction by Faith for spiritual use than to waste away your thoughts unprofitably through Unbelief in pondering and dejecting your heart under these outward Trials though they be great Therefore read and meditate the Word where provision of Support is made to answer all Cases of distress Spread your Soul often before the Lord open the bottom of your heart to him Fly to the Blood of Christ for daily Atonement and give your self up to him who has said Cast your burthen on the Lord and he will sustain you and then you will see reason at length to say It was good for me that I was afflicted and that He or she is blessed whom God afflicts and teacheth his Law Unto him I commend you praying for you that you and yours may have the gracious Shelter of his Love and Kindness in every Condition 1678. To M. R. N o 127. I Received yours of the 14th Instant and have been refreshed in reading those savoury Lines which you were pleased to send me I read them as if you your self had been conversing with me and my self present with you and do acknowledge the kindness of God in dropping down a Blessing upon your Soul in the midst of all the former and latter Exercises wherewith he has been pleased to try you This is the privilege of the Afflictions which come from the God of all Grace viz. That they produce the savoury Fruits of a more indeared hankering after him Dependance on him Resignation to him and a holy Longing that his own most wise and good Will may be accomplished Mr. T. G. has had a little Impression made upon him by his Journey and got Cold which hath not yet left him but we have enjoyed him amongst us this day in our praying work in which your self and other absent Friends were reremembred So commending you to the Lord and his gracious Support and Conduct I remain c. 1678. To C. E. D. N o 128. I Often think upon you and look upon it as a gracious dealing of God towards you not only to prolong your Life to this Age but also and chiefly that he hath crowned your old Age with an unwearied Tendency towards a better Life than you or I have ever yet seen with that Sight which we cannot here be capacious of I do hear sometimes by one or other both of your being in the Land of the Living and that you walk as becomes an aged Disciple of Christ adorning the Gospel you profess with a Conversation suitable thereunto The last time I heard from you was by our good Friend Mrs. Stubs who was here but a few days before her Husband that holy and laborious Minister of Christ took his leave of her breathing forth his last farewel to this present World and that Body of Clay in which he had served Christ for gaining of Souls into his Flock through a long Tract of years flourishing I hope prospering in the great Embassage which the great Shepherd employed him in His death was much bewailed by many especially by them that best knew his Worth as a great loss to the Interest and Cause of Christ both in City and Country The Lord in Mercy raise up more Supplies of like Sincerity Diligence and Faithfulness in the
give me a fit measure of suitable Grace and that he would preserve and continue it I earnestly desire you to pray that I may be preserved so as to do nothing unbecoming my dear Lord. Then he proceeded further to say Christ will lose none of his he will ransack Heaven and Earth rather than any one of his shall miscarry yea it will pain him to lose any part of his Flesh I have been like Jonah in the Whales Belly now for many days Again he said Christians are never more like themselves as Christians than when they are in Converse about spiritual things things above and there are no Relations to be compared with spiritual Relations After that he said The Lord hath postured my Body unfit for the Means applied for its Cure To one speaking to him Sir you are going to a blessed Eternity and what would you have us to do in this wicked World He replied Get into a holy God April 5. He expressed himself thus I shall have liberty I shall have liberty Good good good is the Lord These things will have an end they will have an end After that he would have Joh. 4. ch read to him which when read said The Lord help me to ponder it After which he would have Joh. 5. ch read For said he all is good News which when read he desired in like manner the 6th Chapter following to be read over after which he spake thus Here we see what a great deal of work our Lord did in a little time and take him for your Example Be nimble in your actings in getting him to be yours You see the Case of a dying Friend I have endeavoured to live Jesus Christ and to be found in him both in Life and in Death I desire that you speaking to Friends standing about him will make it your Request that I may never be ashamed of my Hope and that I may have an abundant Entrance given me into the everlasting Kingdom and the like I pray for all the new born of God April 11. He spake to a Friend near him thus There wil be huge doings shortly God will be known as he is Pray look up to God that I may have some distinct thoughts in Consideration such as may be profitable April 13. He said I have none but thy self O Lord How long how long April 14. In the Afternoon he groaned something much in his Sleep and awaking said I have had some trouble in my Spirit This dogged Enemy meaning Satan would make me very wretched and so I am Upon which one by him replied 'T is recorded in Scripture My Covenant will I not break c. And he said I know he will not but this Enemy is so dogged that when I begin to fix my thoughts on any good thing he endeavours to disturb me that I cannot maintain my Communion with God as I would To D. P. his Physician telling him that God seemed now to be taking of him away he presently replied Blessed be his holy Name he leaves me not and he will never leave me And he further said to him I thank you for all your great kindness the Lord return it you giving you in his very heart After that said I have heard and read much of Death and the Attendants of it and now I come to experience the very thing it self even what that great Change is To another dear Friend he spake thus It would be a great sight to see two mighty Angels make a bustle together having equal Assistance on the one side and on the other But what will it be to see the God of Angels setting all his glorious Retinue in Battel Array This ere long will be seen and the Gospel will not be handled only in Pulpits as now but the Glory of it will shine far and near filling the whole World with its Lustre April 15. In the Morning he uttered himself thus I lie at ease and my Soul shall dwell at ease If the Lord would have me to be the last Man that should suffer in this World I would through his divine Grace and Help willingly submit to his Will therein However if it might be I have an earnest longing to have now a Cast given me into the other World In the Afternoon of that day about two of the Clock he began as was observed to speak more distinctly and with such an even audible Voice that it was noted down verbatim as he spoke viz. Oh how good is it to get into God How good is it to have all the terms of the Covenant of Grace ratified between God and the Soul Lord let thy Righteousness be my Lodging my Delight my Joy let me have sweet and intimate Communion with thee Thou hast called me O Lord I come to thee O Lord I come to thee let all the Grace promised to thy People in this passage be given to me Temptations are many Vanities are many away with them because Christ came to remove all Vanity to remove all Sin Oh let thy Truth let the Sealing of thy Word be to my Soul as refreshing Waters of Life Oh for solid Acquaintance with thee intimate Communion with thee as between Father and Son as between thee and one that is thy Child begotten of thee now at the end of all things Oh shine forth Temptations will be working whatsoever they can Now Lord glorifie thy abounding Grace Now O Lord let the Grace of Christ shine like a burning Lamp Now let me be as one climbing up to the top of the Mount Be with me and with them I leave behind and let them be found in thee in the day of Christ And Oh let the Majesty Greatness and Solemnity of spiritual things be kept up in the World and let Christ reign and be very conspicuous and his People also and let him save his Church and redeem it Be with all thine I cannot pray as I should But wilt thou who openest the mouth and fillest the heart wilt thou who knowest thine own Mind and Will wilt thou accomplish all the designs of thy Grace to thy own Glory and fulfil the desires of all that fear thee and all in Christ My own God my own God and may I have no other God but thee My graciosu God now be with me Lord what thou dost mean reveal it to me in thy good time and let me be significant for thee some way Here I am even bound up having no strength no capacity If I be for another World reveeal thy Mind Now I am incapacitated I cannot think thoughts consistent one with another I am as one in a great part dead all the while I live But Lord let me be a living Server of thee who wilt have living Service from all thine O Lord be the Conductor the near Conductor of them I leave behind me Carry my Yoak-fellow in thine own Arms and our Off-spring with her and be with my gracious Friends thou hast made to tender me and
let them be glorious in this World in Holiness and be bound up with thee for ever in the Covenant of Grace into which thou hast called them Let my poor Friends that have loved me and have seen but little Grace something it may be they have seen through thy Goodness Oh be with them and make them grow abundantly Let thy Glory arise hasten it let the Kingdom of Christ be exalted Oh that the days of this Darkness may be blown away and let there be a mighty coming in of Truth Holiness Sincerity and spiritual Light and Manifestation that there may be a mighty Child-like Spirit in all thy Children I desire all these Petitions in truth Let thy People be the Wisdom the Truth the Joy of the Earth Be with me and be with all thine and this I beg in the Lord Jesus Let thy good Spirit come upon all thine Oh glorifie thy self now and ever Oh let thy good Will be done Oh let thy own Will be done Let my Will follow thy Will as the Thread follows the Needle and let it be so eternally Let my Soul believe every word that thou hast spoken shall be accomplished Thou wilt never leave till thou hast made thy Name conspicuous and all thy People rejoyce Oh why why why may not the slow coming on now make haste Oh why may not the Growth of spiritual Wisdom be sprouting forth with great Improvement as being the very Operation of the Spirit Why may not Love to thee come and damp all other Loves Why may not the Observation of thy Love thou shewest me be powerful and transforming of my Soul Why should I lie back Lord I am not sanctified at the rate thou usest means for the same Oh that I might have more of the Spirit much much more and may see the Power of God from Heaven mightily changing me Oh let not thy Spirit be wanting Oh let Truth and Power be given in O God fill the World with thy Spirit that thy work may be done tidily tidily Oh let there be a nearness between thee and the Souls of thy People Oh that never that dull Spirit in Religion may come into the World again a God-provoking Temper of Soul Oh that thy People may judge of their love to thee by the very Out-goings of their Souls to thee and account nothing a Token of Love to thee unless the Soul be as it were in some Surprizes of being thine joyned to thee perfectly as if it were about to be carried out of the World I have been a withered dry Branch Oh hasten a Spring-time in one World or another Thou hast given me Truth in the inward parts I bless thee but there is no Answer answerably I wait now I wait every day and every night a poor Waiter I am O Lord be found Oh let God be glorified Oh that I might see Religion to be something I have professed Religion scores of Years one after another and yet to have got no more of the Glory of the Grace of that Religion methinks doth import that the Devil hath a strange debilitating power but God is pleased to leave him to put a slur upon the Glory of Christ's Church in the Life of Grace and to make the ways of God seem not so exceeding different from the way of Flesh as it is and all this for Trial and all this for Shame when the eyes of the spiritual Mind be a little opened Oh when a little satisfaction is got that there is truth of Grace how doth a seduced Soul nuzzle it self in that that it is safe and doth not make out for a great Progress in Grace and Holiness And if God should leave that Soul at last under those terrible Trials that may arise from thence it may shake and put it into a terrible Consternation Alas never can I fly too far from that devouring Lion never can I fly too soon April 16. Ah sweet Grave where I shall not need any cooling Drink Being spoken to from a near Friend viz. I hope the Lord will give you in of himself some such Prospect as he did to Stephen when he was leaving the World He replied I have a little sight of him and I find no dark passage to the enjoyment of him To another Friend he said He that hath you by the hand will never leave you To a near Relation he spake thus Say to your Soul I have a Fountain that will never dry up My Lines are fallen to me in a pleasant place yea I have a goodly Heritage There should be frequent fondnesses between God and us as Children towards their Parents He farther declared that though he had an earnest desire to be gone hence yet if the Lord pleased he could be content and willing to be the last Man in the Brunt of Suffering for his sake and Name in this World or words to that effect Again he spake saying O Lord come quickly come quickly answer me by thy self My wise God is still pleased to continue me though there are no signs of a Reserve for further Service to him in this World I bless the Lord for his Goodness towards me The Consolation of God is no small thing it is no small thing it is strong Consolation the Consolation of Christ is a great thing April 17. A Friend taking his leave of him saying that he was going to visit a Person of Honour he spake to this effect Pray remember me to my Lord and tell him that I am an Expectant hoping for a Meeting where we may dwell for ever April 18. In the Morning he spake saying O Lord how do I pass through nights and days O wise God and dost thou speaking to himself account him so Lord make me to account thee wise and good Lord pardon me and receive me O happy day that is coming O blessed day that is coming I pass through Death unto eternal Life After that he said The Captive shall return there will be no Captivity O sweet Redemption Much of our Heaven here lies but in a little talk about it and when we speak a word of it we have scarce a Thought suitable to the greatness of it Some space after he fetch'd a deep Groan and with his eyes lifted up and his Right hand stretched forth as if the pains of death were upon him he said Sharp and welcome Sharp and welcome And a while after he said praying Lord let me not die with any Guilt upon me but leave it all behind Oh let not any Sin remain in me unrepented of Let not any Concurrence with the least Guilt be in me Let there be upon my Will an edge of Hatred against every Sin Create it in me now Thou canst make me to delight in that that is contrary to my own Will Oh let thy Will be pleasing to me and let my Will be every way according to thy Will Let not the Agonies of Death be too terrible let not the Surge of it be too
April 22. Being the Lord's Day in the Afternoon to a Friend that came to see him he expressed himself thus The Doctor hath told me the lightsomest News to day that he hath told me a great while in acquainting me that there is but little hope of my Continuance long in the World but the Afflictions of God's People lie near my heart Oh to be filled with the Spirit three or four hours in Prayer for the Concerns of Sion He farther spake in his particular Case c. thus What if they that have seen me shall see me no more if he sees me that hath seen my Yearnings and Groanings if he sees me again he will not say he knows me not he is a God that will not forget his Promise He who hath seen my Soul in Travel who hath seen those Pangs of desire that no other hath seen he will be ready to say in the Riches of his Grace Here is poor such a one come to my Gate Come to my Knee Come to my Mercy-Seat Oh for affectionate thoughts of God and getting into him they are things that will not dry up they will not wither that will not be parched up Oh blessed be that heart that is thorow in desires Oh where is that glorious Majesty Oh what is it to come to the first Spring of Spiritual Life To come to God to the God that hath carried me into my threescore and tenth Year with a high hand And now he fore-seeing the remainder of my days would be Sorrow and Labour to the Body he calls me off And what is threescore and ten Years compared with Eternity A poor Pittance of time wherein God hath had very little Service from me Thus I parle a little about it to get some deep thoughts of that unspeakable Majestick Grace Little can I say of my Religion more than this I love the Lord in all he did I love him in all his Image I may say I may lay me down and rest for the Lord sustaineth me I have no other I desire no other Lord glorifie thy Name I have had caring thoughts about my self and others but now thou seemest to determine the matter Thou didst see I could not stand in the Shock but in thy strength I could have stood But thou wilt not cause all thy Waves and thy Billows to pass over me Thou hast had thy Champions and wilt have thy Champions Lord the Clouds arise apace the Wicked are full of Wrath they would root out thy Interest they would make Jacob low they are set upon Mischief and Spight Arise arise O God let the Lamb deliver let the Lamb overcome let thy unreasonable Enemies be turned over to Judgment Beautifie the place of thy Holiness confirm the Weak fix the Staggering Let thy People be able to meet Sufferings to put on Faith and Patience and say Aha Aha We are for God and his Ways Let thy People meet Death meet Losses meet whatever the Enemy can do and say We scorn your Cruelty Oh that thy People may stick by thee when there is nothing but Violence and Contradiction of thy Will O Lord work wonders for thy People break the Arm cut asunder the Bow of the Ungodly Oh let Shame be upon those that would take away thy Worship Glorifie thy self appear and stand an invincible Champion in Israel Let the earth know that thou dost possess the Gates of thine Enemies Let my Soul come into the Bundle of Life let my Soul come to all that that is promised by Jesus Christ I am to receive the Salvation of my Soul with exceeding Joy Am I near to the great Revelation of Christ to know more than ever Solomon did with that Perfection of Nature he had and Attainment of Grace Am I near to attain more than ever Paul could reach to by the Power of Grace and to know more of the Covenant of Grace than Abraham himself did and all the Saints while they were here in the World Oh I am confounded I am confounded and astonished I wonder I wonder at Free Grace and am amazed for want of more Faith The Filthy the Filthy duggle of a respect to my own Works which would follow me and spoil me and spoil all the Mystery of Free Grace c. Oh that now at last the Glory of Free Grace might lift me into the eternal place of it To a near Relation he spake thus Brother you are come to take your leave of me The Doctor as a sweet Messenger told me to day that I am near my Change I am now going from Shadows to Substance from things imperfect to things compleat and the thoughts of it even confound me I have been trading in the things of God for almost threescore years as to the experience of it and now after this long WOOF upon the LOOM it is to be taken off and all of it VIEWED and I know a World of Evil there is but I have always had a Sufficiency of the Grace of the Gospel declared to me that as defects came in they might be removed and by his Grace I have kept on with some desire with some delight with some Faith and Chear and now the RECKONING is to be made O my God there is a great Transaction upon me I throw my self upon Christ in the Gospel I sink if Christ sinks I have had nothing else to rest the Sole of my Foot upon now let thy Mercy be for me Thou hast given me good hope through Grace now Lord answer every good word upon which thou hast caused my Soul to hope Thou hast brought me hitherto so far to the very end of the Wilderness now O God bring me to thy Canaan I have waited for it Many other Sicknesses have not removed me now thou seemest to say This shall Now let me leave all my Filth behind me take it off There is a TRANSLATION let that Translation be effected upon me O Lord let not that Temptation come upon me that I have prayed to no purpose that I have faltered in the things wherein thou hast steered my Soul in Truth and in Spirit Lord let not a dead thought abide with any ugly savour in me now when thy Providences with the Concurrence of thy Servants meaning the Doctors say that thou callest me when they say The Master calleth thee Oh Oh was there ever such a day Had I ever such a day to be standing in the Portal to be waving up my hand to be knocking Oh for an Opening Lord say to me I will open Come in and let us sup together No less O Lord. Answer the Breathings of my Soul all along all my days Thou art faithful thou hast chosen me deny me not O thou that art Truth thou knowest that I have chosen thee Thou knowest my Life in this World hath been Death and Poyson to me without thee and now I come only expecting what thou hast promised and not what I have procured for there hath been my
BATTEL all my days not to look for any thing of my own procuring but to throw my self on thy procuring Grace there hath been the WAR I said if there be not the Son of God to save me all my Works are vain there is no bottom in what I have done It is alone what thou dost in thy Council and Purpose of Grace There I have desired to lie and to comfort my self in and have had comfort therein And upon that score thou hast made me ashamed of the unsuitable Actings of mine thou hast made me ashamed of them Now I would flee over these my great Sins upon the Wings of Faith and now Lord let me have Light and Truth Thou knowest I appeal to thee thy self O God thou knowest things contradictory to thy Doctrine and the Grace contained in it have been my burthen Thou knowest I have not had Quiet but in Reliance on thine own Free Grace and this thou hast done Thou layedst not in this Principle for no use but to assure the Soul thou wilt not mis-lead it O Lord save the present contending part of thy Church in the World This hath been the BATTEL all along Man lost himself quite Thou hast brought in a Salvation and didst give it and thy People have received it and thy People never had Comfort but as this Grace did shine forth Thy Children have been killed and slain for this very thing And now O Lord maintain Oh maintain the great Quarrel What doth all thy Peoples Salvation depend on this and shall the Enemy despoil them of it No no. I am going to thee and let me go upon the Wing of thy abundant Grace and so let all that have found this Grace and have given Credit to it I have a World of Evil to say of my self for I have nothing else but that that I lean upon is the Truth the Vertue the Grace and Faithfulness of my God Lord help me in this great thing and all thy People in this particular that they may be comforted in it and rejoyce in the hopes of it There is none of us yet that hath passed through Death divers Christian Friends being then present many of us have been brought near to it but have not actually passed it And now seeing some of us are dropping into it Lord let not these great things be strange to us nor be little to us as to the settling of our ALL Oh had we made better Markets of it better Improvements we might have been at a mighty Brightness in Holiness Blessed be thy Name we have been kept doing but we have had many Put-bies we have not walked like Persons of so high a Calling but thou pardonest in such a way that the whole Heaven will ring of thy pardoning Goodness Help us to jog on help us to jog on that every one of us may come up and fulfil our Task that when we leave the World we may look upon it as a Memento of that unspeakable thing of a GOD that makes his own Choice between one Soul and another He further prayed thus Help me till I come help me a while O Lord I know I am in the Flesh and have the things relating to the Flesh But O Lord till thou removest me hence be teaching me still care for me still let all things preceding so great a Change be wrought in me and let thy Care Blessing Love and Grace be upon my dear Associates Kindred and Friends I leave behind Lord keep them purge them make them shine more and more make the Generation now and hereafter more holy Let the Vengeance of the Wicked return upon their own heads let none of thine faint in the day of Battel give in Strength Faith superabundant to the Troubles thy People meet with Give Courage Joy and Valour which the Enemy cannot vanquish and rid the World of these Impurities O Lord make haste and destroy Autichrist O Lord meet with the Proud Oh cut their Hoofs make them ashamed with perpetual Confusion and undo their Projects make them stink all the Earth over I leave these things with thee I have perused thy Word through thy Mercy if in any thing I step aside pardon it for thou hast infinite Measures of Pardon with thee O God be with me for ever and receive my Spirit whenever thou takest me out of the World Then he directed his Speech to an aged Person present thus You have lived in Profession long as I have done set your self before God with sincerity as if you had never yet put any Foot in his Paths beg of him Truth in the inward parts beg his Spirit and with full subjection to him account a Communion in it self only considered a pitiful thing and that that is to be feared hath been the occasion of the Ruin of many a Soul See to it that you be a real Member of Christ I do not know but that I have as much reason to question mine own Soul and it may be more than to question yours But hearken a little for now I come to the upshot there is no dallying my God hath a piercing eye the Truths I have heard they are from God The same Care Fear Cautiousness I would have concerning others as of my self Then he spake to all in general Oh that after so much of the Spirit of God appearing we might not be poor simple unlearned things for here we have had a little and seen a little of the Temptations of the Devil and a great deal too much What is the end of our Church-Communion but that we may be brought into the Fellowship of Jesus Christ indeed in-deed in-deed And then he hath taken care for the Outward and the Inward Man to make the Soul steady ingenious and diligent and to study always to honour him to give him Honour and to defend his Honour And thus I hope the Lord will go along with us also Oh Oh Oh let there be none of the ugly stench of a barren Religion Oh Oh Oh that the Holy Spirit may be doing in every one of our hearts that such a little pittance of time may not be lost We are even at the Judgment-Seat every one of us here is a Judgment-Seat Each of us have often Sicknesses and I perceive my concluding Sickness is come and to the Judgment-Seat of Christ I must go Oh for my ADVOCATE he will not hide himself We talk of the World to come and mind not the nature of it the Lord open our eyes I would be at it I would be at it My dear Friends it is a pleasant sight to see one another but suppose before a general known Appearance of Christ we might have a Months time and that to be together one would think with what exceeding seriousness we should improve that time And truly now is much alike in the length of time here It is but a short thing when we have considered it God hath said such a thing and it is true
thousands of years after The Lord save us from the Pollution of the Times Oh that we may not discover our Nakedness in such a day as this The Lord hath called his People Soldiers The Battel is when there is no way to escape then is the very time to enter the Shock with our spiritual Adversaries and then is the day to honour God above all things if we should be tempted to any thing sinful to any thing wherein God is displeased and the Souls Communion with him wounded O venturous Attempts purely for God are huge Increasers of Grace and to be cheary in it and not as Persons undone but there must be Faith Patience Hope Belief of the Scriptures intimate Communion with God that carries it thus out If I believe that God is infinite and is he infinite Then he can do any thing for me and will do it If I believe he is good he will do good to me for he hath said he will do it with his whole heart and with his whole Soul The Lord make you more fruitful Plants in his House bearing Fruit. Oh Oh that you and I while in this World may not think too slightly of our high Calling Oh Strength doth fail me to speak of it but surely it will be the great shame if any sensible shame can be hereafter or at least there will be something of an Equivolence to it that ever we should be called with a holy Calling to Eternal Life and yet that there should be no greater difference between us and the Uncalled of the World The difference is as much as if a Man should be sent to ransom one out of Slavery and another left in perpetual Bondage but this Slavery of Hell to be redeemed from it is unconceivable and unutterable and yet to walk so like others in any thing O O should the noblest Creatures on Earth walk up and down in the World like a Toad and the highest Rank of Men that have Parts and Abilities walk up and down like pitiful Creatures that scarce know how to walk in a posture as Men. Oh for a trim neat watchful prudent Christian Every Dram of Purity Neatness Fruitfulness springs from God and therefore when the Soul answers its High Calling it takes no less than God it takes it receives him It is not to gaze upon him in a way of Profession only but to get in him who is the Fountain of Holiness and this is the Communion of Saints Communion with God there is the bottom of all Communion and having that then we grow up in God into him in all things who is the Head There is an ugly thing ever coming in as if we may have all the Privileges of the Gospel and yet walk at a Loose as an unbended Bow and from this thing doubtless many with abundance of hopes have tipt over and never saw the Land of Jordan and so have died and perished We may guess with our selves there is something in it when the Spirit of God saith to us watch watch and that we should exhort one another and bids us often to beware which is given us as a Causionary Word and indeed whilst I am in the World let it stick with me and whilst you are in the World let it stick with you We have gone on in a formal way and there hath been a strange kind of Benummedness upon the Souls of Christians What is a Church for but for the carrying on of Ordinances more inwardly and spiritually as a Church of Christ We have had mighty Sermons of these things and have them still blessed be God but I would have my Soul while I am in the World and every other Soul also greatly to be a questioning whether or no my naked YEA AND NAY doth come up to the Holiness of Christ or no for we should be like him he doth not say a little like him but like him and the Soul should aim at that which to be without is a sign that the heart is rotten or invaded with Rottenness to a great Declension As he that is an Apprentice to a rich Man he aims to come up to his Master's Estate there is such a thing in the nature of the desire of such a one and if it were so in our Spiritual Trade Christians Converse would be more with respect to their glorious Country and that would keep Religion so warm between them that if there were any thing unbecoming in any they would not spare to speak of it to them that so the heart of a dear Friend may be delivered from the Guilt of Sin and be nourished in the way of Life April 23. He spake as followeth No Refreshment here makes me to think of what spoken in the Revelation He shall lead them to the living Springs Rev. 7. 17. He will open Rivers in the Tops of the Mountains Isa 30 25. and 41. 18. near at hand but not yet actually possessed near at hand but a little temporary Life stands in the way Oh to the Hungry every bitter thing is sweet I am this day suffering the punishment of the pleasure that Adam and Eve took in eating the forbidden Fruit. I am this day suffering under that and might have suffered it eternally in all the horrour and fury of it but that a Saviour hath appeared with an everlasting Gospel in the midst of Heaven on whom he bids me relie and on him I relie Whereupon a Minister standing by said to him The second Adam is a better Head than the first Adam was To which he replied Oh Blessed be Divine Grace there is a great difference indeed for always Christ and his Grace is rendred with a much more and it is from Heaven All that are taken into that dear Christ they are as clearly stated in Life as by the first Adam in Death these are the words of a God that cannot lie Here is ground of Faith grond of Confidence where the Soul hath fled for Refuge and made it his business to flee thither and no where else There is a Passage and it is an incumbring Passage and all must pass it and that Passage I am in there is no expectation of Life to revert back and a longing desire I have to pass through it and here I am waiting for that delivering word and to see the Glory of God I cannot deliver my self from mine own Spittle Thus I wear off and shall be seen here no more To another Visitant he said You see me at a parting view the Lord be good to you and your Husband And she answered Oh that my parting meaning out of this Life might be with the like Comfort and with the like presence of God And he again spake saying The Lord make your Religion thorow-pace and your Labours in that Family successful and enable you to overcome when Powers without and Temptations within assault you To another at his taking leave saying The Lord be with you he said I hope the
kept up a rare thirst through his goodness after him and a delight in the ways of his communications But I would not it is not for me to speak these things you should be vain in your own conceit But go on I see the Foundation laid he will never leave you be at rest And now study the great mystery of the Gospel of which you have a large notion but I would have you turn every notion into a practical work a practical acting into a practical use I would have you turn it all and labour to do it every day that what you believe may be so to you as substance and not Air and the Lord will visit you and help you Your Nature is timorous and fearful but God coming in to fill your Soul with Faith and fill Faith with powerful workings you will have a great Friend at every turn to be for you to be with you for you will be able to trust God when you see not why nor wherefore to trust to his promise c. His Speech and Charge to his only Child was as followeth MARY I and you must part I and you must part I leave you behind me in the World and my Prayer to God is to keep my child to teach my child to keep you and to make your heart to be full of love to spiritual things that you may not be befooled of your Soul that you may not be befooled of Heaven that you may not perish like a Fool. And I charge you I charge you I charge you in the name of God who is your Judge that you hearken attentively to all the Counsel of your Dear Mother and do not play it away bable and trifle it away see you do it for your everlasting good and concernment and be obedient to her and do not only be fondling but hearken seriously to her Counsel and take it in MARY come to me that I may give you one Kiss I am about to kiss you and this Kiss must be a witness of my true desire of your good I Kiss you in love and my very Kiss will be a witness against my Child if you do not tread in the steps of your PARENTS such as you have observed to be good O my dear Child be not careless therein I leave you now to the conduct of him who is my conducter To a Christian Friend who said we must be willing to part with you you have a Pisga-sight of Canaan he replied I think I am at the very end and yet I do not go out all the day long I am thirsting O blessed be my God I am perswaded he will perform all that concerneth me To another Christian Friend at his taking leave of him he said thus I expect again to see you and an innumerable company more of Saints c. He further spake with respect to his languishing Body If I could have something or other to refresh my Body if the Lord saw it fit but the whole Earth I think is insufficient for it April 25. This day being Wednesday which proved the day of his Death in the Morning he spake to a dear Friend a Minister saying The blessing of the everlasting Gospel be upon you the Lord be with you And about Eleven of the Clock he began to Change having several Agonies and between them he desired to be prayed for saying Lift up a Prayer for me and speak that I may hear you For whatsoever ye shall ask on Earth shall be granted in Heaven let then the Earth be full of Prayer And coming out of another fit said Hitherto hath the Lord helped me I am in the hand of God I am in his hand and under his promise the end of this affliction is in the hand of my God the Lord enable me to abide his Will And the 5th Fit or Agony which was ' twixt four and five of the Clock in the Afternoon he in that Breathed out his Soul into the Arms and Embraces of his dear Lord and Redeemer retaining his senses to the last for even a little before his Decease his Wife asking him how he did he answered with great composure I am almost Dead and desired to be lifted up a little higher which were the last words he spake and a few moments preceding his Departure he opened wide his Eyes and immediately closed them again and so Expired FINIS ERRATA PAge 7. line 16. read see for let p. 10. l. 26. dele and p. 29. l. 32. r. person for perso p. 35. l. 8. del word of the p. 61. l. 8. r. Vail for Vale p. 62. l. 9. r. therein for thereon p. 63. l. 15. r. very for ve p. 70. l. 3. r. converse for dally p. 100. l. 5. r. expatiating for expiating p. 104. l. 34. del he p. 124. l. 28. add him p. 143. l. 15. r. hast for has p. 160. l. 18. add he p. 188. l. 1. r. means for mens p. 203. l. 19. r. floweth for followeth p. 213. l. 14. r. clouds for glouds p. 306. l. 11. r. heart for heat p. 313. l. 5. r. omnipotent for omnipent p. 328. l. 23. r. the for lhe p. 327. l. 3. add not And for any other literal Errors or false Pointings which are very few and inconsiderable the Reader is desired to Correct