Exile for the Friendship of Relations at Norwell and Southwell I am there begging pardon for sinful Compliances as in sitting late in an Ale-house in Southwell where the Company were Healthing it about though blessed be the Lord I drank not much yet I was a bad Example in sitting and sipping with the Wicked in wasting my precious Time my Prayer therefore is that the Lord would pardon that and continue Mercies and give me a thankful Heart in and a lively sense of Divine Goodness The 20th being the sabbath-Sabbath-day through Mercy I find my self in a pretty good Frame of Spirit and took particular notice in my Diary of Mr. Coats's Subject which was Come unto me all ye that labour c. I there find a Desire that the Lord would work those Truths more and more upon my Heart by his Spirit that my Sins may be pardoned and my Soul prosper The 21st Under some Dulness occasioned by slavish fear of Man which I find bewail'd that Day with this Petition That the Lord would enable me to live by Faith and that I might encourage my self in the Lord my God under all outward Discouragements whatsoever who has delivered me does deliver and I trust will deliver me his poor Creature O! that my Sins may not provoke the Lord to turn away his Face The 23d Having this Day been stating Accounts with my Wife and several others with reference to Disbursements the three Months in the Summer of my Exile and Troubles in the Year 85 though I find them extraordinary large yet thrô Grace I find my self free from those Passions that upon such Accounts I used to be prone to my experience again there recorded of God's gracious Appearances for me 26th Mercy there again taken notice of in the Lord 's delivering me from Trouble and a Petition That if it were the Lord's Will I might be preserved from entering into Bonds which I and all my Friends did believe would be very ensâ—â—ring to me there I find Sin bewailed and lay heavy upon my Conscience 27th Manifestations made of Deliverance still from danger I there bless God I am still at liberty and hear nothing from the D. of N. of entering into those Bonds he required I then heard of Dr. Temple's Execution and took notice of distinguishing Mercy that he should be taken and I left who through Man's Rage and Wrath was in danger I there bless God I was not the Man 27th I took notice of the many comfortable Sabbaths that I have enjoyed since I came home without Fear or Disturbance Cousin Billingsley preached here from these Words Commune with your own Hearts which much affected me 28th A like Account as to Mercy and I remember no actual Sin that Day 29th The like Account with my Experience that God had blessed the means I had used for the cure of a Cold that held me 8th of October 1685 This day I returned from Lincoln where I had been some time and took notice the Lord gave me a very comfortable Journey no sad Providence occurred in the Journey I am yet delivered from Enemies notwithstanding their Rage and Threatning and from the ensnaring Bonds I begg'd then of the Lord That he would continue this Mercy and give me to live a thankful holy humble and fruitful Life and pardon the particular Sins of this Day and help me against it and to perform Promises made under my Afflictions 9th I there bless God for the Mercies of that Day and beg pardon for my Sins and that the Lord will cause me to live better the next Day 10th My Sins stare me in the Face being many and great there I find my self begging that I might eye the Blood of Christ and might through Grace be interested in it being the only Sovereign Remedy for a poor Sinner yet I am preserved from ensharing Bonds and enjoy through Mercy comfortable Liberty and sit under my own Vine with delight 11th This I find a comfortable Sabbath when Mr. Coats did most sweetly call invite and encourage Sinners to come to Christ O! that I may not stand out the Lord bless the Sermon to my poor Soul and pardon my Sins 12th No actual Sin that I know of I this Day begg'd Direction from Heaven about the Oath of Allegiance I and others in my Family were called to take and next day I did take it having observed no Intimations from the Lord against it but being well satisfied about it besides I feared if I refused it would be worse with us upon the account of our Meetings which I did desire to keep up I beg the Lord would enable me to keep the Oath being taken as a sacred Thing I am yet at liberty and free from ensnaring Bonds 15th I that Day begg'd the Lord would humble me under any thing of Sin that might be in my Swearing and taking the Oath the Day before 16th This Day Mr. H. acquainted me that one did say That the Lord would lie heavy upon me that I was to give a Security by Bond of 7000 l. which would ask a great time for me to get and that I was only Capt. L's Prisoner at large Well I find this hint in my Diary that Day That I can trust my God who has delivered me and that he will deliver me still from the Fury and Rage of Men and the Effects thereof 17th This Day I had an encouraging Letter from V. L. as if the Duke had done with me which I begg'd then the Lord would grant and enable me to live up to so great a Mercy For several other days after I am blessing God for the comfortable and quiet abode in my House and petition'd that the Lord would keep me from sinning away such Mercies 20th Wasting Time the great Sin acknowledged this Day and a Petition that the Lord would please to make me more active and diligent in Soul-concerns every Day as being every Day nearer Death 22d This Day I observe from Joh. 7. 44. in my reading this Passage Some of them would have taken him but no Man laid Hands on him Upon which Mr. Baxter has this Note God binders bad Men from doing what they would do and they know not how he doth it I have had great Experience of this my self the Lord be praised 25th This Day God made a very comfortable Sabbath to me and I trust will do my Soul good by it and set home another Sermon I then heard from Mr. Cotes concerning the Ease of Christ's Yoke I am yet through Mercy continued in my Family in Peace and Safety enjoy distinguishing Mercy and Love God help me to make a right use of it and still restrain Men that they do not hurt me and enable me to give thee the Glory of that Mercy thou pleasest to give me the Comfort of 26th This Day I was at Cos R's Funeral the Lord prepare me for my Change I came from thence over a dangerous way in Safety 27th God has this Day preserved
me I am out of Hell I am out of a Prison I am not as lately flying before pursuing Enemies nor absenting my self for Security from my own House I am not made a Prey to Enemies but the Lord has dealt bountifully with me What shall I render unto the Lord Some following Days after I took notice of sinful Thoughts idle Words unbecoming Actions and of the Lord's Goodness in sparing Mercy Nov. 7. 1685. I bless God then for returning me in Safety from my Yorkshire Journey and that I saw my Friends with Comfort and found all well at my return home then I petitioned the Lord to continue Enjoyments to me and mine 8th This God made a comfortable Sabbath Mr. Coats preached excellently from this Text Remember now thy Creator c. the Lord do me and all that heard him good by his blessing upon that Ordinance and pardon Sin the Morning as soon as I awakened I was full of projecting carnal melancholy Thoughts O sad Thoughts for a Sabbath-Day God seal a Pardon to me 10th This Evening being Tuesday by 7 of the Clock I set apart some Hours for Humiliation that Night with the help of Mr. B. Mr. C. c. and about half an hour after 12 a Clock I ended in that Work in my Closet the Sins I bewailed particularly was my not keeping Covenant and Promise with my God Passion with my Wife Pride Slightness in Duties especially Closet-Duties c. 15th I enjoy'd a most comfortable Sabbath by Mr. Coats's Help who preach'd from these words Remember now thy Creator c. and this Passage I took particular notice of That where Youth has been devoted to God reviews of it in old Age when Persons are less capacitated for Duty-Frames will afford sweet Comfort and Refreshing 22d This a comfortable Sabbath God bless it to me Mr. Cl. preach'd from these words Ps 67. That God even our own God shall bless us The Doct. was It 's a most desirable thing for People to have a God of their own These Marks he laid down which I desire often to peruse and examine my self by by which I may know whether God be my God or no. 1. If I have a God of my own I get what Knowledg I can of my God 2. I get what Love I can to my God 3. I would be loth to do that which this my God may take ill 4. I would then serve no God but my own God and never fall down to Graven-Images 5. I would take nothing ill from my own God 6. I would love to think of him 7. I would love to be speaking of him 8. I could love to have my own God well spoken of 9. I would often send to him and hear from him 10. I desire nothing more than while i 'm absent from him that this God would visit me by his Spirit 11. I would not live always here but die to go to this my own God and to be with him for ever And these are the earnest Requests of my Soul Several Days together I find a comfortable Account both as to freedom from Sins and great Mercies But on the 28th I find Relapses into Sin and that which aggravates it much is I was just writing the Account of my Life And O what a Mercy it is God has given me not only space for but the Grace of Repentence Decemb. 12. Hitherto much the like Account the Lord has preserved my Liberty beyond expectation and prevented my entring into ensnaring Bonds 14th I took notice of Mercy shew'd my Wife in delivering her from most acute Pains in the Tooth-Acâ— Jan. 2. â—â—8â— I this Day returned from a great Journey in which the Lord wonderfully succeded me in all my Affairs and preserv'd me from all Dangeâ—… I experienc'd Mercy in the kind Reception the D. of N. gave me on Monday to his House whither I went to return him Thanks for his Civility to me He told me I came to him on a very proper Day being Innocents-Day for that he believed I was so in the Matters laid to my charge and that he had now done with me and should as Opportunity offer'd readily serve me in any thing He desired me to be kind to my Uncle L who had taken great pains on my behalf I gave him thereupon over and above other Kindness before Here 's now a return to Prayer God help me to improve so great Mercy Passages a little before the Death of my Dear Wife and about her Sickness and Death May 13 1686. I met with Stops as to my London Journey by Business and my Dear Wife's Illness for this very Day in the Morning she was ev'n spent with a Conghing-Fit I was called from Prayer in my Family found her very Ill but blessed be God soon grew better and told me I bless God I am now pretty well Now I was earnest with the Lord that he would enable me to observe the Hints of Providence in my being stopt several times and my way to London as it were hedged up May 17 1686. I set forward for London notwithstanding the Cross Providences I met with a great Change in the Weather divers times a Cold that I had upon me a grievous Fit of the Asthma my dear Wife had insomuch as I plainly observ'd Providence against me as to that Journey at that time but notwithstanding upon Encouragement from my Wife that if I must needs go this Summer which she rather desired I would not because of Souldiers being much upon the Road going to the Camp I had as good go now as any other time I did set forward and part with my dear Wife this Day but never saw her more The Lord knows my Carriage at London was too light and vain I wonder'd I heard nothing from Ollercarr waited a Fortnight for Letters and did my self write several but through their miscarriage and as the Lord pleased to order it I received four all of a day most of which brought me the sad Tidings of my dear Wife's Death which was aggravated greatly in that I had not heard of her Illness till I heard of her Death and all came in Letters to me at London at which time I had one under my Wife's Hand to acquaint me with her late Illness but that blessed be God she was better an Account of which here follows after I have given first an Account of mine just sending to the Post directed to her at that very instant when I received this that follows A Copy of my Letter the Last I ever writ or must write to my Dear Wife now I trust with God My Dearest I Am in great expectation of Nanny's coming up to London according to the Desire of my last which Business now only stays me in Town Thou canst not imagine how much I am concerned at thy silence or at least thy Letters Miscarriage I having not received one Letter from thee since I left thee this being I think the fourth that I have
hath done great Things for us of which we are glad O that we would put on all the Strength we have and put it forth and go to God for more and be exalted in our Desires and Zeal and Endeavours and do to our utmost for God O that all those who name the Name of Christ would part from Iniquity and labour to stand compleat in the Will of God filling up their Days and Places and Relations with Duty and leading such unblameable and exemplary Lives as may condemn the wicked World and be expressive of God and shew forth the Vertues of him that hath called them out of Darkness into his marvellous Light O that I could see the Church the Lamb's Wife in her Bravery in her Garments of wrought Gold as a Bride made ready for her Husband and so the Beauty of the Lord our God upon all those who own themselves his Children begotten to him by the Gospel Reader The worthy Author of this small Piece which is noâ— put into thine Hands by an Hand of Love was one of mine intimate Acquaintance a Gentleman yea and more than so a Godly Man a Man in Christ of a Worshipful Family and which is yet more of the Houshold of Faith one that could fetch hiâ— Pedigrâ—â— from Heaven and call God Father He had a good Temporal Estate the Câ—…ouâ—s of this Life having been boâ—…fully dealâ—â—ut to him but he did not take up with them nor value himself by them for he was rich toward God rich in Faith and good Works After many Troubles which he met with divers tosses and tumblings which disturbed that sweet Repose he otherwise would gladly have taken he did by the good Hand of God upon him fix in this City where he had a comfortable enjoyment of himself sitting with great delight under the refreshing Shadow of his dearest Lord in the most precious Ordinances of the Gospel It pleased God after a considerable time to direct and incline his Heart to join himself to that Flock of Christ over which the Holy Ghost hath made me Overseer In which he was very eminent for his constant Attendance and serious Attention and great Affection He took the Sermons deliver'd verbatim read them to his Wife and Family when he came home and several of them he wrote out in a very fair Hand that he might leave them behind him for the benefit of others He was an humble and holy Christian no Busy-body not captious nor quarrelsom a Companion of all those that feared God for in them was all his Delight as the Excellent Ones of the Earth Most willing to condescend to and be familiar with Persons of low Degree not valuing any so much by what they had of the World as by the Relation in which they stood to Christ and by the Spirit Grace and Disposition of Christ which discover'd it self in them He was no Fashion-monger Genteel but not Gaudy Neat but Modest and Sober so adorning himself as that he might adorn the Doctrine of his God and Saviour putting on Christ and Mercy and Bowels and over all Humility that was the upper Garment through which the rest were seen being immovably resolved to keep the Commandments of God He bid Evil-doers depart from him and was a Companion of them that would walk with him in the Way everlasting They and none but they were the Men of his Choice When our publick Liberty was by our good God graciously given us after very long and furious Storms had been upon us he soon made choice of me for his Pastor and that Flock of Christ which I am appointed to water and lead into green Pastures and by the still Waters he did as I said before choose to walk in a Holy Communion with And with them he continued until the Great God in whose Hand our Times are was pleased to remove him to the Church Triumphant in Heaven During all that Time he was very exemplary to others and no less pleasant to me I being desired one Day to preach the Morning-Lecture in Southwark he would needs accompany me We together crossed the Water and either going or returning he got Cold which was obstinate and kindled in him a Feaver and that Feaver consumed him his little Oil spent aspace and the Lamp of his precious and much desired Life was soon extinguished But O how did he shine and glorify God in that Fire How sweetly did he carry toward him without any Quarrelling or the least spice of Discontent I heard not the least word that spake a Dislike of the Providence No no his Spirit was as it ought to be submitted to the Divine Will and he at God's disposal ready to die for Preparation had been his Work and willing to die for that would be his Advantage His submissive Resignation to the Holy Will of God herein see in the Record he left in his Diary in the beginning of his Sickness thus March 10 Through Mercy this Day much better with me than my Desert tho I find my self somewhat indispos'd by Cold full of Aches and Pains and Chilliness and sore Eyes the Lord if it be his Will heal me this Night or grant a Preparedness for his Pleasure and that as the outward Man decays the inward Man may be renewed day by day The Lord pardon my Sin and accept of Praise for all Mercies And the Night following which was the last he writ in his Diary he recorded it thus March 21. This Day some Distemper seems to hang upon me thô not worse blessed be God than last Night The Lord in Mercy heal me and recover me or fit me for thy Pleasure The good Lord fit me for the approaching Sabbath and make it a good Day to my Soul for Christ's Sake Pardon my Sin and take Praise And God was exceeding gracious to him for he chained up Satan so that he could not throw one fiery Dart at him and he enabled Conscience to bear its Testimony to his filial State and having led his Conversation in the World in Simplicity and godly Sincerity not with fleshly Wisdom but by the Grace of God and also he lifted upon him the Light of his Countenance shed abroad his Love in his Heart by the Holy Ghost which had been given him and furnished him with such an Anchor of Hope as was fixed within the Vail and both sure and stedfast And all this being done for him it was not in the power of the King of Terrors to affright him but in his nearest Approaches he could look him in the Face without any Discomposure and not only triumph over him as a baffled and conquer'd Enemy whose Teeth were broken and Sting lost but likewise bid him welcome as a Messenger sent by his Father to do him a real Kindness And knowing whom he had believed he could with Joy breath out his Last and take his Flight to the unseen World where as he was sure his dearest Lord had taken up his own Rest at
but either Conformity which I durst not yield to or leaving the Town which I was resolved upon as the best Expedient for my Ease The Lord who has never failed me in a time of Trouble now appeared for me in his Counsels and Conduct I was now upon Terms with my Cousin Clarâ—son for his House in Kirton and was come to a Conclusion Yet as the Lord was pleased to order it providentially though I was pleased with the House very much and my Wife before had consented to the taking it I would have a Day 's time further to speak with my Wife about it And she at that time being at Wigwall thither I went and as soon as I came I met with a Letter from Mr. Barrett my most worthy Friend who was constantly contriving for my well-doing both in Soul and Body acquainting me that there was a House at Ollercarre to be det which might prove a convenient Seat for me and here though I met with some Rubs yet God in his Providence seemed to point out that Habitation to me I went to view it and though it was upon disadvantage there being much finishing work within Doors wanting yet I liked it so well as hoping it might prove a quiet and comfortable Place to me besides the Priviledges appertaining to it That I concluded to take a Journey to Mr. Burton about it but his Bailiff who lived with his Family in the House and as I perceived since had no desire it should he let told me he would send to Mr. Burton to know his Terms and to acquaint him with my desire of taking it How he managed his Business I know not but the answer he returned me was that his Master Burton would not let it under Sixscore Pounds per Annum which was 20 l. more than he had before offered it to others for This I took to be a cross Providence and had proceeded I think no farther but for my Brother Spateman who advised me that nothing could be done or known without my going thither who offered very kindly to go along with me thither we went and in a few Days I took the House for 30 l. per Annum less than was mentioned to the great grief I did perceive of the Bailiff who it 's to be feared consulted his own profit more than his Master's interest And truly this Providence I cannot overlook viz. That I had not had the House if a Rainy Day had not prevented another going to take it just at that time and hither now the Lord has brought us Men by their Fury have driven us from Nottingham which though they might intend it for my Hurt God can turn it to Good O that I may keep in his Ways and leave Issues to him To the 14th of June 85 I find in my Diary Acknowledgments Day by Day that I had experienced the Lord's Goodness in casting my Lot into this Place having to that time enjoyed most comfortable Sabbaths for the most part very publick Assemblies to the refreshment of others as well as our selves Here I find by those Diaries I was much carried out in praising God and in begging that I might be enabled to make some answerable Returns to him by a thankful Heart and a fruitful Life At my first coming to Ollercarre it was much upon my Heart to consider what I should render unto the Lord for all his Benefits towards me and mine I had this serious Resolve That I would not shut God out of my House who was pleased to give me Entertainment in it I then pitch'd upon this Method for Family-Discipline On Week-Days to do thus 1. Prayer every Morning by six o Clock for the benefit of those Servants that were to be abroad after upon account of Husbandry and this to be performed by my Cousin Watson or when abroad by some one Man-Servervant 2. By 9 a Clock every Morning to call my Family together toâ— worship God by Prayer singing part of a Psalm reading a Chapter and then Prayer 3. To go to Dinner by 12 a Clock 4. To Family-Prayer at â— in the Evening to be performed in the same Method as in the Morning 5. To Supper by 7 a Clock 6. After Supper to spend some time in reading some good Life or other good Book 7. By â— a Clock every Person to their Chamber 8. Every Monday Night by â— a Clock to catechise Servants and Children 9. Every Thursday night Repetition 10. All unlawful Games as Cards Dice c. all kind of Ribaldry vain Songs foolish Talking and idle Jesting Swearing Lying c. and all kind of Sin whatsoever are here forbidden no profane Persons to abide in my House no Liar to tarry in my Sight On the Lord's Day this Method 1. To begin the Day as to Family-Worship with Family-Prayer by 8 a Clock in the Morning 2. By 9 a Clock to Sermon 3. By 12 a Clock to Dinner 4. By 2 a Clock to Sermon 5. By 6 a Clock to Family-Prayer 6. By 7 a Clock to Supper 7. By 8 a Clock to Repetition This Method in my Family for most part through assisting Grace we have performed experienced the benefit of and would commend it to others When I have not had this Method I have found these Inconveniences 1. That the mistiming of one thing has usually occasioned the mistiming of every thing in my Family 2. That when we were uncertain as to our time for Family-Worship I have often found some of my Servants absent and their Plea usually was that they had engaged in such Business as they could not leave off whenas a stated known time for such Duties gives all advantage to forecast their Business for it and it must be their Faults if they do not 3. Want of a set-Time is usually accompanied with this dreadful Inconvenience that Worldly Occasions either quite justle out some part of the Worship of God or straiten one in the performance of it 4. By late Prayers either Morning or Night we put off our greatest and best Work to the worst time and give God the World's leavings 5. We need God's Blessing upon us and our Family-Occasions as much early in the Morning as later therefore should be early at the Duty of Family-Prayer and not too late or long at Night for fear of Drowsiness And I must not omit to add I have every way found such Methods beneficial too and the Lord has enabled me in some measure to perform my purpose it being blessed be the Lord very rare that we have mist it since we came to Ollercarr Here again at my first coming I renewed my Covenant with God and did desire and beg I might bring a new Heart to my new Habitation and readily give God Entertainment where he has been pleased to give me Admission This Place the Lord seemed in his Providence to point out for me and here he has blest me O that whatever others do I and my House may serve the Lord. Here
her weakness by Asthma and Feaver increasing and prevailing upon her she had some Disturbance by Temptations from Satan that grand Adversary of Souls to question her right to Happiness c. and whether God would accept so vile a Wretch Yet blessed be the Lord through Faith and Prayer and the never-failing Mercies of a Good God she got over all baffled Satan and was filled with unspeakable Joy in the Holy Ghost The Doctor prayed with her and afterward she her self prayed a considerable time distinctly and aloud and for her then Comfort and Support many Passages of Sermons she had heard especially some from Mr. Coates on that Text Come unto me all ye that labour c. came fresh in her Memory which the Lord helped her to improve to the great Comfort and Refreshment of her Soul She was now full of Heavenly Thoughts and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth was now speaking c. She uttered nothing but what was savoury religious and serious and being spent by great Weakness went triumphantly to Heaven upon the 29th of May 1686. The Doctor told me it was the comfortablest Night that ever he enjoyed in all his Life Here at Leicester worthy Mr. Clarke the Nonconformist waited my coming that he might accompany me to Ollercarr which he did and the Lord made him mighty useful by his Christian advice to me June 3. I got home where I found a most sad and disconsolate Family I that needed others to comfort me was fain to be their Comforter June 5 1686. This Day my Diary manifests that I was grown more calm under the Lord 's mighty Hand and the loss of a Dearest Wife but yet too full of miserable Complaints and quarrelling Thoughts against my Maker the Lord forgive me and compose me for the Duties of the Sabbath following June 6. This Day was a very comfortable Sabbath with reference to my Enjoyments but the want of my Dear Wife occasioned Floods of Tears and violent Passions the Lord pardon my tumultuous Thoughts and in the Multitude of my Thoughts within me let his Comforts more refresh my Spirit June 7. This Day my Dear Wife was Interr'd at Crich where if the Lord please so to order it I desire and intend to lie by her the Lord pardon Sins while I had her and such as I have been most guilty of since I parted with her June 8. This Day through Mercy not much quarrelling with the Lord's Dispensations more calm than I was O that I could be dumb with Silence and not open my Mouth in a fretting and repining way because the Lord has done what 's done unto me the Lord sanctify this sad Breach upon me to my Soul's Good May I remember my Sins that have provoked God and be humbled for them and return to the Lord that smiteth June 9. This Day I find my Heart better fitted and framed to bear this sad Stroke This Day was preach'd by Mr. Coats my Dear Wife's Funeral-Sermon from these words 1 Thess 4. 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope Passion in the Sermon I was guilty of when in the Commondatory Part he was shewing what a Wife she was the Lord pardon my unbecoming Carriage to her Several days after I gave account of the Lord 's quieting my Mind under the sad Loss sustain'd June 20. This was a very comfortable Sabbath and the Lord gave me great Delight under the Droppings of the Sanctuary Mr. Coats preach'd from these words Hear the Rod and who hath appointed it O! I would fain make application to my self O that I could hear the Voice of this sad Providence and take out the Lessons of this Rod O that I may carry my self like a Christian under this mighty Hand of God! I have cause to fear I did not improve Last-Summer's Mercies as I ought and God has made this a much more uncomfortable Summer O that as ever I desire the Lord should not go on in this way I may better improve this Dispensation Several Letters I receiv'd from Friends heartily sympathizing with me in my Trouble take the Copies of some of them as follows A Letter from Mr. J. R. dated June 4 1686. Dear Sir BY a Letter I received Yesterday from Mr. Coats I perceive the Letters I sent you in Town on Monday Night were like Job's Messengers one bringing you sad the other sadder News but I hope you receiv'd the News with Job's Temper or mind viz. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord and God hath taken away the Delight of your Eyes and removed her out of sight she is in a state of Rest and you must behold her no more among the Inhabitants of the World this must needs be a pressing Affliction to lose so near so dear and so pious a Companion and that which aggravates the Affliction is that she was taken away in your Absence so suddenly and so unexpectedly But Dear Sir though God has crost your Will herein yet I hope a Tumult doth not arise your Passions and Affections are not in an uproar Why shall not God take away his own in his own time way and manner But Sir I am not to teach you God has rarely qualified you with the Graces of his Holy Spirit so that you know how to receive and how to resign a Mercy you know how to add to Faith Patience as you lately heard There is an animal Life of a Soul void of Grace accommodating it self to the Interests of the Flesh to all such things as are grateful to Sense but then there is a Spiritual Life which is a Principle enabling a Soul to bear up when God takes away our greatest Comforts such a Principle there is in you All I have to do is to sympathize with you and to pray that God would afford you more of the Assistances of his Holy Spirit that you may exert that Principle now at this time under this Loss The truth is 't is one of the most lovely Sights in the World to see a Christian acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation c. in times of Affliction this makes the World say that there is something more in Religion than Talk but as I said I am not to teach you You have the teachings of the Spirit which will enable you to improve this Loss to better Gains The Lord sit us all for our last and great Change and in the midst of our private Losses let 's remember the Afflictions of Sion now sitting in the Dust So prays Your Sympathizing Friend and Humble Servant J. R. I hope you will return up again after some Days I think it will be convenient to divert your self with your Friends here some time after you have performed the last Office of Love to your Yoak-Fellow c. A Copy of a Letter from Cos M. S. dated
Day of Judgment upon Mr. Dunton's Paraphrase of Mat. 25.41 215 Sentence more particular on the Ignorant Slothful on Worship-Neglecters Sabbath-breakers Swearers Scoffers Persecutors Licentious Gluttons Drunkards Adultevers Covetous Vnmerciful Vnrighteous Liars Slanderers Ambitious Envious Wrathful Moralists Hypocrites Apostates Backsliders Impenitent Vnbelievers c. 222 223 c. Meditations in Verse on John 6. 36. by way of Objection and Answer 238 c. The dying Soul's last Farewel to the World 248 The Welcome to Heaven 249 An Hymn on Isa 8. 17. 250 A Meditation on Mat. 11. 28 29 30. 251 A Poetical Remembrance of Mr. John Oaks 252 An Hymn on Mr. Slater's Subject Eph. 2. 5. 256 An Alphabet in Verse 260 An Hymn on Mr. Perriot's Text John 14. 27. 262 An Hymn on Mr. S's Text Col. 3. 1. 263 Another Hymn on the same Text and on 1 Cor. 15. 20 21 22. 264 Meditations on Mr. S's Text Joh. 2. 6. and Doctrines 265 c. Meditations on Mr. G's Text 1 John 4. 7. 269 Meditations on several Texts and Doctrines from Pag. 270 to 279 Verses on the French King's Persecution 280 An Acrostick and Anagram on Mr. G. D. 291 An Elegy on Mr. G. D. by his Nophew J. D. 293 Some PASSAGES most remarkable in the whole Course of my LIFE collected taken and methodised by my own Hand out of my Diary for the most part though I have not omitted other Things as they have occur'd to Memory In which I have discovered my darker Side in the Days of my Unregeneracy as also my brighter Side after it pleas'd the Lord to touch my Heart with a Sense of Sin to awaken my Conscience to shew me my undone and lost Condition by Nature and my need of a Saviour By G. Disney In the Month of October 1690. The EPISTLE Dedicating this little Book as my last Legacy to my Dear Wife M. Disney my honoured Mother Brothers Sisters with other my Dear Relations and Friends who may have the perusal of God's Dispensations towards me both in Younger and Riper Years from my own Pen who though dead yet thus speaketh My Dearest Wife c. SInce the Lord in his Providence has been pleased to remove me from you by Death and â—all me hâ—me so that I can no further nor other ways be serviceable to you I I must beg your Acceptance and Perusal of this the last Legacy of your Deceased Friend who tho dead you find speaking You may now take a Review of me if so vile a Thing as I was can be worth your Pains I have in the following Papers given you some Passages of my Diary methodised in which I have endeavoured as impartially as I can if my Heart deceive me not to give you the view of my Dark Side as well as my Bright And both for these Reasons By the former you may take a view of the miserable Corruption of my most wretched Nature You have there the very Picture and Character of one posting to Hell the Wiles and Subtilties of an active busy Devil the Snares and Baits of a bewitching World and the mischievous Consequences of bad Company By the latter you may behold the wonderful Rich and Free Grace of God in Christ to me to me I say one of the vilest and greatest of Sinners to me that had hardened my Heart after many and many a Reproof and might upon that account have expected sudden Destruction and that without Remedy To me that had not only sinned my self but had drawn others into Sin too Here stand and wonder at Free Grace in snatching such a Brand out of the Fire and in bringing me from under Satan's Slavery and Dominion into his own marvellous Kingdom O that the Lord might have the Glory of the Mercy he has so eminently given me the Comfort of Come then my Dear Friends away to Christ and if you have done this as I hope you have why then stay with him abide here and mend your Pace Heaven-wards You can never I am sure either mend your Master your Work or your Wages Have you set your Faces Heaven-wards O never think of looking back Are you not far from the Kingdom of Heaven O yet go further for it would be dreadfully sad to perish at the very Gates of Glory You have it may be escaped many of the Pollutions of the World and 〈◊〉 and suffered too something for Dear Christ Well! have a care of loâ—ing all and falling short of the Glory of God for want of a 〈◊〉 Work and of holding out to the End You have the Lamps of Profession but have you the Oyl of Grace You can â—ry Lord Lord but do you do the Will of your Heavenly Father Dear Friends persevere have a care of Apostary Lukeâ—â—◠〈◊〉 or a 〈◊〉 Form of Godliness hold so the end whatever you may suffer 〈◊〉 â—ose for your so doing and be confident Heaven will 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 amends for all And if this 〈◊〉 Book should 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 by any 〈◊〉 Relations such who are yet in the â—all of 〈◊〉 and in the Bonds of Iâ—iquity I must earnestly persuade such 〈◊〉 come to Christ Poor 〈◊〉 Sinners away to Christ Come you must at last be good nay you shall be good if any thing I can do 〈◊〉 say may prevail I may not Do so 〈◊〉 to your Immortal Souls 〈◊〉 to suffer you if I 〈◊〉 help iâ— to persist and perish in a way of Wickedness in a way you as well as I 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 â—o Hell and Destruction It 's not I believe too late yet for you to accept of Christ freely 〈◊〉 fully offerin the Gospel to the greatest of Sinners do but sincâ—â—â—â—◠〈◊〉 of Siâ—â— abandon your Wicked Counsâ—â— and Companions give up your selves to a 〈◊〉 stricâ— and serious Life and by Faith lay hold of Christ as offered and heartily implore Aid and Assistance to this purpose and your Work 's done Come poor Souls in time for sake your Sins and embrace the Ways of Holiness that Christ may be yours I have tried both ways my self and can from my own Experience assure you that the Ways of God are abundantly the best Ways and Heaven's Wages the best Wages I have found more real Pleasure and substantial Delight in the Peace of a good Conscience in well-grounded Hopes that my Sins are pardoned in serving God and in expectation of Eternal Life through Christ than I ever did or could take in the Follies and Vanities of an ill-spent Youth I confess I was once of your Mind but can now assure you that I repent nothing more God has convinced me of my Folly and I heartily invite you to taste and try with me how good God is to repenting retarning Sinners And if what I have here through the Assistance of Divine Grace offered may be to God's Honour and the Advantage of poor Souls it will be a sufficient requital of his Pains whose hearty desire it is to meet you all in Heaven GERVASE DISNEY London October 10.
sometimes for the hiding one Fault from Man committed many Sins against God Another Thing for which the Lord has humbled me since and shewed me the evil of tho then I could not see it was this My Master being by Covenant bound to find me with Meat Drink Clothes and other Necessaries at his own Charge I finding him pretty penurious however not suiting my proud Humour I did often furnish my self with some such Things at my own Charge out of that Money my Friends sent me Yet now and then tho very rarely and never I believe exceeded 40s in all I would pay for some such Necessaries out of the Shop-Box which being yet done in so clandestine a manner I have accounted highly sinful and blessed be God has cost me many a Tear tho since one way or other I believe I have made more than double Restitution Another Dreadful Sin I was in that Service Guilty of the Review of which has been grievous to me was this I did not content my self to sin alone but did draw on and encourage John Mildmay my Fellow-Apprentice and under me to sin with me And this I did so long that he at last which was but a just Judgment became the greatest Tempter to me by this God has shewed me my Sin in my Punishment But O the sad Sabbaths that we have too often kept sometimes having waited on our Master into Church at one Door we have got out at the other And thus for some Hours have wickedly trifled away precious Sabbath-time by walking about from place to place for Pleasure sometimes we have appointed Meetings at Ale-Houses on Week-days where most idly we wasted our Master's time and our own Money Once I remember at such a House where we were perfect Strangers knocking 2 or 3 times for a Reckoning no Body came at us says John Mildmay let 's be gone and save our Money with all my heart says my wicked Tongue inclin'd thereto by a worse Heart But we had not got half a Mile before my Conscience flew in my Face for that Wickedness so that at my Request we went back and paid all Thus sinfully did we too often waste our precious Time in Ale-Houses and sometimes in worse Houses Twice I think we went to Syder-Houses which proved Bawdy-Houses which yet we did not decline some of our wicked Comrades having taught us which the Devil set home to silence Conscience that it was a good Way sometimes to frequent such Houses and to associate with such Company the better to work in us an Abhorrence and Antipathy against the Practices and Sins of such places This plausible Pretence guilded Bait and wicked Notion was too readily espoused by us young Men tho old Sinners this serv'd to stop the Mouth of Conscience a while till the Lord pleased to awaken it And then I saw desperate Folly in committing Sin to prevent Sin and thought of those Texts You may not do Evil that Good may come of it and if Sinners intice thee consent not And of the wise Man's Counsel Prov. 7. speaking of the Harlot O let not thine Heart decline to her Ways go not astray in her Paths Come not nigh her Dwelling for she hath cast down many wounded her House is the way to Hell going down to the Chambers of Death c. By unbecoming Dalliances Glances and Carriages with young Women Relations and others in which I thought in younger Years there was no Evil I fear I too often broke the 7th Command for tho never blessed be God guilty either of Adultery or Fornication yet since I have learn'd to know that there 's more forbidden by that Command than is express'd and that every unchaste Thought Word and Action is a breach of it the review of such youthful Follics has been dreadful to me since God touch'd my Heart and gave me Grace to consider Some Sins whilst a Child that I omitted before to mention were such as these Playing Truant frequently when I should have been at School and the better to colour over and hide such Miscarriages I seldom stuck at telling a Lie Thus I added Sin to Sin as indeed Sin seldom goes alone I have too often experienced it that one Sin draws on to another David's Sin with Bathsheba had others accompanying it his first Sin was Idleness his second Uncleanness and then the Murder of Vriah her Husband I was also guilty of robbing Orchards pilfering and taking what has not been my own from my Brothers and Sisters and Father Foolish Jesting idle Talking slighting holy Duties profaning Sabbaths Disobedience to Parents and indeed what not I had so base a Nature and so wicked a Heart even then when I could do but little more than go that I boggled at almost no Sin that such Age inclin'd to These and such like Sins of Youth made sad work for Repentance in Riper Years it was long before but blessed be God at last I set my Sins in order before me with all their aggravating Circumstances Then I thought of the Love and Light the Means and Mercies the Vows and Promises the Exhortations and Examples the Reproofs and the good Education I had sinned against Whilst I was a Servant at Mr. Oglethorps I was under good Family-Discipline I had opportunity to attend upon the best Means had good Examples before me was examined on Lord's-Day-Nights what I remembred but alas was too long a Trifler under all which I have been much more sensible of and afflicted for since I left my Apprenticeship than before It pleased God there to begin a Work of Grace which notwithstanding too many sad Slips I believe and hope he has been carrying on ever since There it was the Lord first enabled me to set my Face Heavenwards and to engage me in serious Thoughts about the eternal Welfare of my immortal Soul most remarkably observed upon a Fit of Sickness the Lord was pleased there to visit me with in a very few Days I was brought very low in Body begun to be serious to think of my Ways and of turning to the Lord Psal 119. 59. was then full of Purposes and Promises too that if the Lord pleased to spare me I would through Grace mind Religion as my Business and follow the Lord fully God was pleas'd to hear my unworthy Prayers and to speed an Answer of Peace to me in a Day or two I was perfectly recovered and my Body being healed of Sickness I begg'd hard that my Soul also might be healed of Sin The Lord did wonderfully bless to me the Ministry of Mr. Brooks of whose Church my Master was a Member and I therefore frequently had the advantage of hearing him But especially the Lord was pleas'd to do my Soul good by setting home with power upon my Heart and Conscience some Sermons of worthy Mr. Flavel sen r. whom I must reckon my spiritual Father but those Sermons with many others to my very great loss now were consumed by London's
came to see my need of Christ and to be satisfied that a single Christ would be of more worth than ten thousand Worlds and these were the Texts of Scripture that did much revive me viz. That Christ Jesus came into the World to save Sinners and that the Gospel-Tenders of him was to such And that the Covenant-Terms of Salvation were attainable thrô assisting Grace Isai 1. 18. Come now let 's reason together saith the Lord Though your Sins be as Scarlet they shall be white as Snow and though they be red as Crimson they shall be as Wool O what Encouragement is here thought I for me a Sinner who though but young in Years was yet old in Sin And another encouraging Scripture I often thought on was Prov. 28. 13. He that confesses and forsakes his Sin shall find Mercy And Isai 55. 7. Let the Wicked for sake his Way and the unrighteous Man his Thoughts and let him turn unto the Lord and he will have Mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon I then to encourage my return to God and the forsaking of my Sins thought of the great Sinners that had obtain'd Mercy such as Manasseh Mary Magdalen and some of the very Jews that had been guilty of the Blood of Christ and had murdered the Son of God yet through Repentance and Faith in Christ many of them were pardoned and saved nay Paul that eminent Pattern of God's free Grace to great Sinners and David and others of God's Dear Children that had foully faln was Encouragement to me a Prodigal now to arise and go to my Father Now I began to set upon a Course of Duties which when I found I was pretty strict in the performance of I begun too much to rest upon them Now I was for believing but hardly knew how to believe that Christ died for Sinners so as to throw my self and rest wholly upon him and to think my Tears and Prayers and other Duties will do me no good in point of Justification When I had served in my Apprenticeship about four Years my eldest Brother Cornelius being dead some short time before it pleasing the Lord to visit the City with the Plague which began in the Street in which I lived upon which my Father prevailed with my Master to give me leave to retire into the Country to him during that Visitation Accordingly I came down in the Year 1665 to my Father's House then at Swinder by And then began other Sins to appear in me as the product or Remainders of Corruption in my Nature I have great cause to bewail and lament that proud Garb I came from London in having I do believe expended as much for one Sute of Clothes as would have clothed compleatly 40 poor Servants of Jesus Christ For which Equipage I contracted much Debt in London which my Father after paid I had then so proud an Humour that I thought this Dress thô excessively Gaudy was but suitable to my Rank thô alas much beyond it This Vanity I can hardly think of without Blushing Yet now living an idle Life and being dreadfully puft up with Pride tho alas alas I had nothing in the World to be proud of but rather to be humbled for I presently was under Temptation to think that I must now carry it out and live at the Rate of my Father's Eldest Son and not as Mr. Oglethorp's Apprentice and Servant Now it was that tho indeed I durst not much associate with wicked Companions that were Strangers tho Neighbours to me yet I did it too much with those that were Relations and thought that Relation would justify that practice not considering the Snares of it I there made too many sinful Slips went often to Norton and Norwell where I met with such Company as had not Free-Grace sustained me had certainly ruined me both as to my Principles and Practices There it was I fell to the Practice of good Fellowship most undeservedly so called and then have been perswaded to think that time well spent could sometimes most wickedly triumph in my Ability to bear strong Drink not considering the sad Woe in Scripture denounced against such At that time I learn'd to drink and game and smoak Tobacco and trifle c. and spent by Perswasion of others tho my bad Heart was most to blame not only Days but Nights in those kind of Excesses And here I cannot but observe how unwilling the Devil was to lose me who so lately had been his Prey and led captive by him at his pleasure But yet after these Relapses for ever magnified be distinguishing Love the Lord graciously gave me a Check and after some Reproofs and Advice from Parents and serious Friends I again begun to consider my Ways Conscience was startled and begun to do the Office of a faithful Monitor And this Scripture was often in my Thoughts and sounded terribly in mine Ears He that being often reproved and hardeneth his Heart shall suddenly be destroyed and that without Remedy Much precious Time I did waste and trifle away in those Days in sinful Delights and Pleasures the want of which I now sadly experience Several Gentlewomen one after another I courted being invited thereto by one Friend or other and too many of my Addresses of that Nature were too extravagant inconsiderate and sinful which the Lord has humbled me much for since From Swinderby I went to Barkston with my Father and his Family who went to settle there for the sake of Mr. Trott the Minister of that Town and a worthy good Man whilst there I went sometimes to Grantham to hear some Non-Conformist Ministers as there was opportunity for their Preaching which was but seldom much Soul-advantage I received then through the Lord's Blessing upon Mr. Sharp's Ministry who was then a Non-Conformist of very great Note After this my Father buying a House at Lincoln we removed to it and thither the Lord in his Providence sent holy humble and worthy Mr. Abdy to be Pastor of that Congregation for which he had Liberty by the King's Proclamation and Licence of Indulgence Here I delighted greatly to attend upon those Ordinances through God's Blessing upon which and an intimate Correspondence I held with him I received much benefit Then began I in good earnest to set my Face Heaven-ward and to mind the great Work the Lord sent me into and continued me in the World about Now began I not only to observe my private Retirements for Prayer but to pray in my Father's Family tho too hypocritically in those my first Attempts I have cause enough to believe However having cast a Look Heaven-wards Hell was presently in an Uproar the Devil storms at it my old Companions begin to upbraid me for it which yet the Lord gave me Grace to bear with Patience as knowing that I had much better bear and endure the Frowns of wicked Men for being Religious than the everlasting Frowns of the great God for not
we have enjoyed most sweet and comfortable Sabbaths mostly by the help of Mr. Coates whom the Lord has made a Blessing to our Family and sometimes other Ministers O the comfortable Seasons of Grace we have here had the refreshing and rousing Sermons we have here heard what full Meetings the Neighbourhood for many Miles round flocking hither have we had Here we had Line upon Line and Precept upon Precept here a Little and there a Little nay here Abundance and there Abundance Here Heaven's Dews dropt about our Tents the Gospel brought into our very House Sanctuary-Blessings were restored us which we had sinned away at Nottingham Here could I through Divine Indulgence keep open House for God none making me afraid O the comfortable Sabbaths Sermons Sacraments Fasts and Family-Duties here enjoyed O the sweet Repasts we had for our precious Souls Now did I begin to make a more strict Scrutiny into the state of my Soul than ever and was now for weighing the Reasons of my choice of Christ in the Ballance of the Sanctuary did sit down and consider with my self what it might cost me to be Religious and whether or no I could be at that Charge Well but did these Halcion Days always last Did my Sun suffer no Eclipse Alas alas we soon sinned away our Comforts and by Sin as soon involv'd our selves into the Depths and Labyrinths of Misery and Trouble An Account of which take from my Diary to this purpose Upon the 15 th of June 1685 being the Day that the first Tidings of the D. of M's Landing in the West came into the Country I had by several Friends one after another Information that the Nottingham Magistrates had intercepted a Letter of mine in which they found a Paper written in Characters and presently cry'd Treason Treason This Paper they presently sent to many Persons in the Town if possibly to get it read but it seems all in vain either they could not or would not read it A very great stir they made about it concluding it was the D. of Monmouth's Declaration and contained a Call to me to appear in Arms for his Assistance These were their idle and ungrounded Conjectures which put them upon threatning me in a most dreadful manner and sending out their Warrants to seize me either at Nottingham or Derby that I might read the Letter as was alledg'd This Paper they never sent me nor could I possibly suddenly know the Contents of it though I did understand it came from my Brother Daniel Disney who was that Term in London I confess this Tidings did somewhat startle me and made me some Days then absent my self from my Habitation as not knowing what Injury my reading the Characters might be to my Brother though I knew it could be none to me whatever it prov'd to be I therefore thought it best to lie incognito till I could understand from my Brother what he had written in those Characters to that purpose I sent my Cousin Watson to London or to Epsom-Spaw 12 Miles further to find him out which Journey he went and came in safety though altogether without success my Brother being newly come down to his own House at Kirkstead contrary to his former Intentions In a Day or two after my Cousin Watson being now return'd to Ollercarre was seiz'd by Souldiers at my House and presently committed Prisoner at Derby who by his most imprudent Answers to those Interrogatories put to him by the Officers did somewhat prejudice Mr. Chauntry a young Minister taken at my House with him and might have done hurt to others by Imprudency had not the Lord's over-ruling Providence prevented The D. of Monmouth's Army now increasing things begun to be in a great Uproar and Confusion many Gentlemen of this County were imprison'd and several of them sent to Westchester a Place far remote from their Habitations and so near the Sea that People were fill'd with sad Apprehensions concerning the further Consequences of such a remote Consinement many Rumours there were that I should be fetch'd in immediately Friends advis'd me to withdraw which at first I did decline as concluding my Innocency would be a sufficient Protection to me but when I saw it did not prove so to others and did consider the Character-Paper the Contents of which I knew not I took their Advice and did abscond about the 30th of June 1685 and I bless God did find most hearty welcome and Entertainment in the several Families the Lord in his Providence did direct me to But no sooner was I gone than the Countries round as well as Derbyshire did ring with Hue-and-Crys after me great Sums of Money now offered for the taking me by those who were as full of Rage and Malice as could be breathing out nothing but Threatnings against me suggesting most wickedly and falsly that I had furnished the Duke with 600 l had entertained him two Months in my House and was certainly gone to him Others as falsly reported that I was taken with his Declarations in my Pocket and a Letter of Thanks from him for my Kindness to him in befriending his Interest At my going away from Ollercarr I first went to Mansfield upon the 29th of June 1685 that Day being their Fair whither as I hear since I was followed by the Sheriff of Nottinghamshire and was very much in danger many I met upon the Road coming from the Fair begg'd of me to have a care of my self for great Inquiry was made after me and search for me A little before that time I being in Chesterfield upon Business with my Landlord Burton which occasioned my stay 3 or 4 Hours and had no sooner taken Horse than as I understood since Officers came to my Inn to seize me Here the watchful Eye of the Lord was upon me for good On Mansfield Fair-day at night Soldiers came to Ollercarr to apprehend me others were making diligent search for me at Nottingham at a great many Houses giving me most reviling Language and threatning me with Death when ever taken and some as was reported said I should never come to a Trial for they would shoot me and tear Bit from Bit where-ever they met me These poor Wretches who I never injur'd but have often served I can heartily pity and pray for and if ever I have opportunity of serving them do hope to let them see that my Religion teaches me to do good to my Enemies and to requite Evil with Good the Lord forgive them they know not what they do About this time I was at Friends Houses not far from home but thought it now convenient for greater safety to remove further and was directed by a Friend who very kindly did accompany me into Leicester-shire Thither we went and as the Lord was pleas'd to order it just in time for presently after I could not have got away there being strict Watches set night and day for me in all or most of the Towns for many Miles round about
Ollercarr We travell'd from one place to another not staying long in any till we came into Leicester-shire And the Lord preserved me in all my Wandrings blessed be his most holy Name and gave me much Favour in the eyes of those I visited and had with all most hearty Welcome and free Entertainment Many remarkable Passages and great Providences I experienc'd as I came from Place to Place mention'd particularly in my Diary and therefore less needful here only this Upon the 18th of July 1685 I find my Experience noted in the said Diary That notwithstanding my Enemies Threatnings and my Fears my Dear God had wonderfully preserv'd me so that through Mercy no Evil has hitherto befaln me O that I could take Encouragement from my Father's Goodness to live more the Life of Faith and to depend more upon God! upon that God that has brought me out of many Troubles and kept me from many Dangers he has delivered does deliver can deliver and I trust will yet deliver me O that in the mean time present afflictive Dispensations may be to his Glory to my Soul's Advantage and my Relations Benefit Upon the 5th of July I came to Mr. S. where for better safety I went by the name of there I had most friendly Entertainment found him exceeding good chearful Company himself as those also who were several of that Neighbourhood that came to see me Here I had very comfortable and Soul-refreshing Society and Safety while I staid And upon the 21st of July 1685 upon the advice of very worthy and good Friends such as Mr. S. Brother S. c. besides my own Inclinations to surrender my self to the D. of N. I came away in the Evening from Mr. S. and therefore could reach no further than Duffeild that Night We got not thither till 11 a Clock and therefore concluded it best to stay at a little Ale-house at the hither End of the Town that Godfrey Batty knew though I did not And here I observ'd a great Providence the Watch-men of that Town just stood at the Door where we lighted being I have cause to believe at that time in an especial manner directed to look strictly for me as I understand all the Watch-men for many Miles round about my House were directed to do These Watch-men demanded my Name but Godfrey very prudently by telling them his prevented their further Inquiry there we lighted and the Watch-men presently came in who I entertain'd with Ale and Tobacco and left Godfrey with them whilst I in my Clothes and Boots went to lie down upon a Bed in the next Room being both Sleepy and Weary but now being under a slavish Fear and a disquieted Mind lest I should be taken before I had surrendred for which the good Lord forgive me though I did get 3 or 4 hours Rest yet not one wink of Sleep In the Morning early the Constable came who knocking at the Window where I lay I verily thought I had been surprized but it appeared it was only to see whether the Watch-men duly observed their Office the Landlord ask'd Godfrey my Name which he refused then to tell him but promised he would the next time he saw him which as the Lord ordered it did satisfy though he told him he could stop and secure me if he would By 6 a Clock on Wednesday Morning I got to my House at Ollercarr and though in the way I met with and saw several People who I believe most if not all knew me yet through the Lord's Restraints none to hurt me By 9 a Clock that Morning after I had stay'd about 2 Hours with my Dear Wife whom I had not seen of long before and was her self under some Trouble and having Warrants out against her as was said was a little before forc'd to keep from home I went to Mr. T. at Wallen-wells who being abroad came not Home till 8 a Clock that Night I acquainted him with my Design of surrendring my self to the Duke of Newcastle and desired his Company with me I perceived him timorous and something shy he told me he would not do it till he had obtained first the Duke's leave to that purpose upon which by a Letter on purpose he acquaints the Duke with my desire to surrender my self to him To which the Duke made this Return on Thursday Morning he gave him many Complements and Thanks for his Letter but told him that as for Mr. Disney he might secure him and expected that he came along with him Upon this startling Answer I began to think I had taken a wrong Method in this Surrender and did expect nothing less from the Duke's Letter than being sent to Nottingham Goal That Day about 4 a Clock we went to Welbeck when I feared to find him the more severe upon me because of the Corporation-men of Nottingham who I understood dined with him that Day But here I again experienced the Goodness of the Lord who had so wonderfully moderated his Spirit that I found him very calm and kind I acquainted him that I understanding he had sent his Warrant out against me some time since I was now come to wait upon him to know his Pleasure He replied he never sent out any Warrant against me nor had he any thing to charge me with only a great Rumour there was of a Character-Paper directed to me which the Aldermen of Nottingham had sent to King and Council that therefore it was convenient I should be forth-coming till he had acquainted the King and the Lord Lieutenant of Derbyshire with my Surrender and did not doubt but in a Week's time he should receive Orders for my Liberty In the mean time he wish'd me to make choice of any Friend in the County to be withal I named my Uncle Lee which he readily approved of sent his Servant and Letter with me And thither we came on Friday Morning about 10 a Clock there I had kind Reception and friendly Entertainment as also my Wife and 2 Servants with me Here again the Devil set his Agents a-work to raise slanderous and lying Reports of me by some it was reported that the Aldermen of Nottingham were drawing up a Paper against me to send to London others that I was run away privately from my Uncle Lee some that I was a Prisoner at Newark others reported me hanged in the West at the same time the Lady Lisle was executed others said that John Oliver of Lincoln was just going to London to swear Treason against me and some others but I might easily prevent and stop him by laying an Action I had upon him and so imprison him But this Counsel I utterly disliked and bless God none of these things did much move me A Passage in my Diary giving this Reason for it I can heartily trust the Lord who has all along been my Helper I can with Comfort enough set a single God against all mine Enemies Whilst I was at my Uncle Lee's which was between
5 and 6 Weeks my Uncle was unwearied in his Pains for me going twice to Nottingham thrice to the D. of N. and once to Ollercarr in my behalf was very sollicitous and desirous to set me right amongst those that had aspersed me the Lord require him more than I can August 10 1685. my Uncle Lee returned from the D. of N. acquainted me the D. was much troubled for my long Confinement but could not help it that he had sent 3 several Letters to the Lord Sunderland to know the King's Pleasure about me but could receive no Answer He concluding they had nothing against me was willing he should upon his own Head and without Order set me at Liberty and if possible afterwards take advantage against him for so doing he being sensible they watc'd to take Pique against him resolved he would give no advantage Therefore by a fourth Letter acquaints the Lord Sunderland that he was resolved he would not set me at Liberty without the King's Order and desired to hear with what speed might be his Pleasure about it On August 26 1685. being at Lincoln with my Uncle Lee my Mother Disney gave me a Letter Ben. Bromhead brought from London from my Cousin W. Disney some 3 Days before he died who was executed as Printer of the Duke of M. Declaration full of earnest Desires that I would take care of his Daughter with me she being both Fatherless and Motherless The which by the Grace of God I shall do and look upon her as a Child Providence has cast upon me as my own The Letter bore Date the 26th of June 1685. had lain some time before King and Council ere it was suffered to be sent to me but blessed be God it did me no hurt August 28 1685 being Friday the D. of N. by a Servant on purpose gave me tidings of my Liberty by a Letter he sent me which he had received from the Lord Sunderland to this purpose That it was the King's Pleasure and Command that I should be set at Liberty upon such Security as his Grace thought fit And now here 's Food for Faith to feed upon a gracious return to Prayer Thus the Lord was pleased to restrain the Hands of wicked Enemies that had threatned me Ill and to influence the Hearts of great Men to do me Good I have experienced with the Psalmist Psal 31. 13. For I have heard the Slander of many fear was on every side whilst they took counsel together against me they devised to take away my Life yet I have seen the Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living And have good encouragement with holy David to say At what time I am afraid I will trust in the Lord. My Uncle Lee and I then went to the D. of N. where the D. receiv'd me very kindly and told me though he had nothing at all against me yet being the King's Letter to him had mentioned a Bail he would advise me to enter into Bonds for the good Behaviour my self in 2000 l. and my 2 Sureties in 1000 l. a Man This I declined very much yet at the Duke's importunity after I had taken some time to consider on it I very unwillingly granted to endeavour it and indeed I must say a great many I found very ready to serve me in the Thing But the D. himself having named to me my Uncle Clay for one and my Uncle Lee having offered himself for another I concluded upon them and to that purpose desired my Uncle Lee to speak to my Uncle Clay he being just then going to Southwell which he did but sent me word by my Man who went with him that my Uncle Clay positively refus'd me but as I have since heard and do believe it 't was not in Unkindness for he acquainted the D. of N. he did not think me in earnest in that Request another made having neither Letter nor Message from me about it but my Cousin Low his Son-in-law did very chearfully accept of piece of service for me We all three accordingly went to the D. of N. to enter into Bond but the Duke declaring some great Pique against my Cousin Low fell into a Passion and declared he would not take Low's Bond for a Groat and since Clay would not Lee should not be Bail for me but I must get two others This prov'd a good Providence for meeting with this Cross I took heart to send the Duke word that I having no ways appear'd against King or Government nor any ways misbehaved my self did think it very hard thus to be call'd to enter into Bond for the Good-Behaviour The Duke return'd by Letter this Answer to me That since I had declined entring into Bonds he had by Letter acquainted the King that no Body came in against me that I was unwilling to enter into Bonds being no ways guilty and left it to his Majesty's further Pleasure only bad me remember he had mine and my Uncle Lee's Promise to come to him if sent for And thus through Mercy I have escaped those ensnaring Bonds having heard nothing from the D. of N. to this 15th of December 1685 being almost four Months and I trust I may not August 31 1685 This Day I returned and my Wife and Mr. Coats and his Wife to Ollercarr Upon the 6th of September 1685 we enjoy'd a very comfortable Opportunity being the sabbath-Sabbath-Day good Mr. Coats preached a Congratulatory Sermon for the Lord's Goodness towards us in bringing us together again who had so long been separated one from another he preaching from those words Psal 116. 12. What shall I render unto the Lord for all his Benefits towards me and rais'd this Doctrine That gracious Souls have and ought to have such a Sense of Divine Favours as to be extraordinarily carried forth in Love and Thankfulness to God for them In the Application he told us We might take some Measures of the Greatness of the Mercy of Deliverance God had wrought for us by considering the Greatness of those Troubles and the Perplexity of the Condition we were most of us in says he Was it not sad for a Family once so united not only in Affection but in a sweet and delightful Society to be shattered and broken all to pieces Was 't not sad that a House should ring with Oaths and Curses that for some time before had no such Language to be heard in it Was 't not sad that a Family should be quite left and forsaken of those sweet and comfortable Sabbaths it had some time enjoy'd in great security In a word Was 't not sad that we who had so often join'd together in Family-worship as Reading Praying and Praising God should be so separated one from another that we could not assemble together for such Worship without apparent Hazard nay some of us cast into such Places where there was no Worship of God to be join'd in Here was our Misery God give us all a lively Sense of Divine
through Grace in 2 days so well that I could see to record this singular Providence which Escape and Deliverance I desire to ascribe to Divine Goodness as a Return to Prayer and desire I may use my Eyes more to the Honour of God 6. January the 14th 1683 I and my Man Sam. Fone being going a Journey to Rotheram about seven Miles off of Nottingham Sam 's Horse slip'd and fell on the side of a Hill with his Leg under him which was greivously bruised and strained and he so full of Pain that I was forc'd to return to Nottingham with him In my return such a like Fall I got my Horse lying upon me a considerable time for he could not rise and had he risen of himself it might have broken my Leg which lay just in a Cart-rut and Sam. being lam'd before could not help me but now providentially a Person comes riding by just at that instant did help me up and through Mercy I got not the least Hurt though my Fall seem'd much more dangerous than Sam 's who was lame and under the Chirurgeon's Hand long This is a distinguishing Mercy which I desire to improve to the Glory of God 7. The 18th of June 1677. In the Close of that Day in Closet-Prayer I found my Heart so warmly carried out after God that nothing would serve my turn but God and I trust God gave me himself Blessed Lord enable me to improve such a Priviledg 8. My Father Disney in his time and I for some Years after him were perplexed with long and tedious Suits by John Oliver of Lincoln a Bankrupt who sued in formâ pauperis He did most wickedly occasion several People to forswear themselves against me particularly one Jane Farrow of Lincoln aged about 54 a Woman ofa bad Life and no Principles she being subpena'd by J. O. to be an Evidence for him At our sitting a Commission at Lincoln for that purpose she the said Jane Farrow did swear positively that the Goods in J. O's Shop at the time my Father seized them were worth 1500 l. and therefore she would conclude my Father was compleatly satisfied J. O's Debt and had no right to detain his Estate longer from him Though I at the same time brought substantial Witnesses and Persons of good Credit and Reputation who upon Oath made appear just the contrary one Mr. Snowden in my behalf swore that he had a Judgment of a 100 l. upon the Bankrupt's Estate and went at that time my Father seized with a design to take out Execution upon the Goods but not finding them of near a 100 l. value did desist Since this the said Jane Farrow has told some the Reason of her Swearing so desperately was That J. Oliver had instructed her and others of his Witnesses what to swear had made them all drunk and then as she confest they swore any thing Since this poor wretched Jane Farrow was visited with Sickness and died Feb. 27 1683. and upon her Death-Bed was in a most sad despairing Condition and cried out much against herself for being forsworn She told those about her that she saw the Devil and there says she he stands pointing to a Place ready to fetch me away She very frequently spoke the same or the like Words O! says she thou art come to fetch me I am certainly thine and shall be with thee er'e long She further added it must needs be so if Mrs. Disney meaning my Mother and Mr. Disney meaning my self does not forgive me Some about her told her for she had many Visitors daily that she must call upon God for Mercy who alone for Christ's Sake could forgive her but she bad them say no more of that for she had nothing to do with God nor Christ nor would she receive any Soul-advice as concluding she must be damned She sent for J. O. that wicked Wretch who was certainly the Ruin of that poor Woman's Soul if the Lord shewed not Mercy at last Gasp and told him that for his Sake and at his Request she had damned her Soul in forswearing her self against Mr. Disney He endeavoured to pacify her by telling her she had sworn nothing but Truth and advised her not to regard what any said to the contrary But this did not do for she still cries out most horridly against her self desired those about her to pray for her Death But says some by her Jane we fear you are very unfit to die to which she presently replied she knew she must be damned and the Devil stood ready for her And thus she lived 2 or 3 Days and went out of the World in a sad despairing Condition A most remarkable Instance indeed it is of God's Vengeance upon a perjured Person May others take warning by it and such as are guilty in the same kind repent in time 9. An Instance very remarkable of two others I could not but here insert which I had certainly attested by near Neighbours and my own Tenants at Swinderby One Smith and Simkin at Harby having been at Agle Feast returning home late says Smith Come we must gallop Neck or nothing the Devil loves no Cripples they being both upon one Horse presently fell down one from one side the other from the other both dead and never spoke more they received hurt only in one part of their Body viz. their Necks intimating their Sin in their Punishment 10. Novemb. 26 1684. being Saturday at Dinner some of our Servants discovered Quick-Silver amongst the Pudding they were eating and we at our Table had eaten on before we presently concluded it must be some that had scattered into the Chest where the Meal used to lie in which Chest at our removal from Nottingham I brought a Pot of Quick-Silver that I kept by me for Weather-Glasses amongst other things we all eat of the Pudding but none of us through the Mercy of God experienced the least Prejudice from it 11. At Nottingham whilst we lived at Mr. Ryley's House a sad Fire broke out the at William Stirrop's a Flax-man next Mr. Recklises at about 11 a Clock at Night which did burn and flame so furiously by reason of the great quantities of Combustible Matter there that in all probability it had much endangered the consuming the Town to Ashes had it not been for this great Providence viz. That very night and at the very time when its likely all or most others were a-sleep in their Beds We as the Lord was pleased to order it had a Religious Meeting at our House where many were assembled to serve God Mr. Billingsley being towards the conclusion of that Exercise and we met in a Room partly against those Flames did soon espy them and as soon dismist those likely to be serviceable at such a Work such as Mr. Hawkins Jo. Boote and others who being fresh and active did soon thrô the Blessing of God quench that Fire there being very few others that appeared which made some say they were consident
have no Worldly Affair unsetled to disturb and distract my Mind withal when upon the very Confines of another World and lying upon a Sick-Bed or Death-Bed when I desire God may have all my Thoughts and all my Time and would fain be most serious and intent upon Soul-Concerns This little Treatise in three Parts containing the most remarkable Passages of my Life that occurr'd to Memory and collected out of my Diary written in Short-hand as a last Legacy I heartily commend to thy perusal and other Friends that survive me In it I have endeavoured impartially to God's Glory to give the darker Side of a vile Wretch on Earth as well as the brighter I was long thou seest a Wanderer from God and in a most bewildred Condition on that account I knew not where to rest till I anchor'd on the Rock of Ages had no true Peace till through Mercy I clos'd with Christ the Prince of Peace Conscience then often spoke when it was not heard and flew in my Face when my Study too much was to check stifle and hush it I was then a Terror to my self and perhaps to others about me especially observing Christian Friends who fain would but then could not prevail with me to be serious strict and good I was too long God knows in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bonds of Iniquity and O what rich Mercy was it I was not then taken from Earth and thrown into Hell that through Grace I did out-live the Years of a loose carnal freshly and unregenerate State O my Dear I cannot express the Sorrows the Terrors the Heart-break and Trouble that my youthful Follies cost me in Riper-years My Closet was witness to something and my God to more but alas all too little if Free-Grace save me not I must yet perish but of this I nothing doubt through the Merits and Mediation of my blessed Redeemer to whom I hope in Heaven to Eternity to give the Glory of what he has been pleased to give me the comfort of The Lord has fully convinc'd me that all my Prayers and Tears my Searchings and Watchings can nothing avail me without Christ God shew'd me my lost and undone Condition before I had thought of enquiring what I must do to be sav'd or of looking out after a Saviour And this through Mercy I can say that I could never have truly a quiet Minute till I was most sweetly perswaded and powerfully enabled to close with Christ as offered in the Gospel O Rich-Grace Free-Grace And now Dear-heart let me invite thee into the Embraces of blessed Jesus Come taste and try how good God is to returning Sinners I believe thou hast Well be more and more in love with Christ enter into Covenant with God and frequently renew thy Covenant-Engagements and labour to perform Covenant-Promises never think thou can'st do enough for that God thou expectest so much from nay indeed thy all that can either make thee happy here or to Eternity Some few Heads of Advice out of tender Love both to thy Soul and Body I leave with thee 1. SEttle thy Temporal Affairs and Wordly Concerns betimes that upon a Death-bed thou maist not be distracted and diverted with them from higher and more besitting Employment I delay'd making my Will too long which was no small Perplexity to my Mind till the Year 1685 when I did it 2. If thou can'st think me worthy thy Remembrance forget not shewing some Kindness to such Relations and Friends of mine who I need not name being known to thee who are Objects of Pity and need thy Charity 3. If thou do'st not incline to a Settlement in Nottingham in the House I leave thee for thy Life then be with or as near as may be some of thy Religious Friends such as may be Helpers and Promoters not Hinderers of thy eternal Welfare 4. If the Lord should again incline thee to marry dare not to join thy self in that Relation to any that is not join'd to the Lord marry one I say who in the judgment of the best of Friends as well as thine own which may in such a case deceive thee do's truly fear God nay I would advise thee to marry one of a healthful strong and sound Constitution by whom if the Lord please thou may'st have the Blessing of Children for I have reason to suppose that some Weaknesses and Infirmities whilst a Child and Young might render me less capable in that respect 5. If thou shouldest have Children train them up in the fear of the Lord help to fill Heaven with thy Off-spring 6. Having marry'd own thy Husband as thy Head submit to the Duties of a Wife for the Lord's Sake labour and pray for a meek and quiet frame of Spirit which is in the sight of the Lord of great price 7. Have some eye over and inspection into the Behaviour and Conversations of those I were some-time intrusted as Guardian for Jog and quicken Loyterers Heaven-wards mind them of their Education Counsels and Instructions and how hopeful their Beginnings were and especially regard our Child and dear Niece Brain 8. Be much in Reading and Studying good Books these I commend to thee especially viz. The Holy Bible with Pool's Annotations Swinnock's One Cast for Eternity Barrett's Christian Temper Heywood's Heart-Treasure Reyner's Precepts Dunton's Heavenly Pastime Case's God's waiting to be gracious Flavel's Fountain of Life Bolton's Tost Ship R. Allen's Rebuke to Back-sliders Janeway's Heaven upon Earth Swinnock's Regeneration Love on Heaven's Glory c. Flavel's Saint indeed Steel of Vprightness Calamy's Godly Man's Ark Hooker's doubting Soul c. Hardcastle's Christian Geography Watson on Contentment Mede's almost Christian Doolittle on the Sacrament His Call to delaying Sinners most of Bunyan's Works very useful if read without Prejudice These Books amongst others I have had much Refreshment from and heartily commend them to thee 9. Do all thou dost either in Religious or Civil Actions with an eye at Eternity thus pray and hear and read and meditate and converse and engage in all secular Affairs and discharge all relative Duties with an eye at Eternity and this will help to make thee very serious and strict 10. Spend thy Week-days well in the discharge of Duties publick and private keep an exact Diary of any sinful Miscarriages and be humbled every Evening for them take notice of God's Mercies every day and labour to have thy Heart sutably affected with the Lord's Goodness observe and pen down God's Dealings with thee and thy Carriage and Behaviour towards God this the Lord has enabled me to practise with good Success 11. Esteem of Sabhath-Days as the best of Days these are the Market-Days of thy Soul make good Provision on them for it hear the Word meditate on it digest and practise it neglect no Duties of the Day in private but most highly value Publick-Assemblies God being by them most honoured 12. Redeem Time I can from my own Experience tell thee a Review in
Carriage to her was too high and peevish apprehending her too little submissive to me as a Husband and too ready to invade the Authority I thought my self to have a Right to here I might mistake but however by it see abundance of Pride and Corruption in my Nature the Good Lord humble me for that 6. My not discharging it may be all Marriage-Duties as I ought might provoke the Lord. 7. It may be I have done this in cumbring my self with so much worldly Business in bad times and when I had no need Now the Lord seems to knock me off from such Cumbers by taking from me her that was wonderfully assisting to me in them Present Thoughts I have had with reference to my Removal since the Death of my Wife as to a retired Life After my seeking God by Prayer about my Settlement the Encouragements for my continuing at Ollercarr were such as these 1. THE Lord's Providence bringing me to this Place more particularly manifest in my Diary in the first part of my Life and his giving me great Encouragement in my enjoying Gospel-Ordinances here without very much Interruption or Disturbance 2. The Favour and Respect he has been pleased to give me from the whole Neighbourhood 3. A Settlement by House-keeping Necessaries being concerned to take care of some whom I would provide for according to my Ability 4. My having a great Husbandry upon my Hands and eleven Years Lease of this Estate 5. The Capacity I am in of serving this Neighbourhood by the publick Opportunities the Lord has blest me with here Reasons and Encouragements for Removing from Ollercarr 1. THe Loss of my Dear Wife upon whose account at first I was chiefly induc'd to this Place but now very uncomfortable to me 2. The irregular Carriages and Behaviour of Servants in Family-Affairs and my Unfitness to manage and look after them 3. In regard that I have Encouragement enough that I may let this Land or else manage it with two or three faithful Servants in my Absence and it may be more to my advantage than now 4. The very great Unsetledness of Present-times and my Obnoxiousness to their Effects seems to call me to a more retired way of Living than here at Ollercarr 5. The Debts which at present I am in I am apprehensive can no better way be soon discharged which I much desire than by giving up House-keeping at least for some time 6. By a more retired way of Living I may have greater advantage for Self-Reflections and more time than here I can have for the Management of Soul-Concerns 7. The Cumbers of the World will ill sute me in my solitary and lonesome Condition when the Language of present Providence seems to call me off from these things 8. By giving up House for a time I shall have the advantage of Visiting Conversing with and serving some Relations that need Help and Assistance and I have been too much wanting to 9. Because my present Purpose after seeking the Lord in the case is but to leave my House here for the Winter half-year it being uncomfortable enough then 10. Mr. Coats and his Dear Consort whom I heartily love and honour need be no Losers by this Alteration they may here keep House take Tablers serve their Generation and live at as little charge I believe as any where else and if so then the great Objections I have against leaving this House will be removed and my leaving it encouraged and the Ordinances of God will still be kept up here to the Refreshment of this hungering Neighbourhood 11. I may the rather go upon this account that Mr. Coats the last Year had given me notice to remove from me The Author having gone so far by his own Hand in the Account of his Life to June 86 some farther Passages since that time to the time of his Death be pleased to take a view of in the Preface written by his Worthy and Reverend Pastor In which Place it was thought best to insert them rather than to interrupt what he had collected and recorded himself LETTERS A LETTER to a Relation inviting him to forsake Sin and to pursue Holiness April 1685. SIR COnsidering the ill use you have made of some former Advice given you I have not upon that account much encouragement to make further Attempts of that nature yet knowing that the Work of Convincing and Converting is the Lord's and that the Wind blows where and when it listeth I may not despair but some Good through the Blessing of the Almighty may yet be done upon you I do indeed purposely conceal my Name at present lest you should despise or slight the Advice upon the account of the Adviser whom you have too lavishly and unjustly reproached though I am confident I have deserved better Treatment at your hands But this is not the thing such Passages I can pass by yet sadly bewail them in you as knowing them to be some of the dismal Effects of your drunken Frolicks but remember for these and the like things God will bring you to Judgment I am not ignorant that many of those that wish you well have advis'd and reprov'd you again and again for your sinful Follies and would fain have you as well remember that terrible Threatning That he that being often reprov'd and hardens his Heart shall suddenly be destroy'd and that without Remedy Wherein you have injured me by your Tongue I can pass it by I would not return Slander for Slander nor answer Railing with Railing nor Reproach with Reproach I have not so learned Christ I can heartily pity you forgive you and pray for you and would now fain perswade you to be good and what can be more your Interest than to be so Come Sir if you have any respect to a dear and tender Wife that lies in your Bosom to a small Babe to indulgent Parents to well-wishing Friends to your own Soul Body or Estate but above all to the Commands of a great God you must be good make a stand consider and take up in time It 's my Love to you makes me thus plain with you for I dare not flatter Whatever you may think or however others may endeavour to palliate great Sins by giving them easy Names Sin will be called Sin and Wickedness Wickedness Drunkenness will be call'd Drunkenness and Sweating Swearing at the great-Great-day and punished as such and why not now Repentance is your Duty and that can never be right and evangelical without Reformation I do believe it is your desire to be eternally happy and can you expect it if you be not holy Without Holiness no one shall see the Lord Heb. 12. 14. Can you ever expect to get in at the Strait-gate while you walk in the Broad-way no Strait is the Gate and narrow the Way that leadeth unto Life and few there be that find it O that you may be one of those few Will you do the Devil's Work and expect the Lord's
to a Relation growing loose in Conversation Dear Cousin THE Contents of this may seem strange to you especially as coming from one so unfit and unable to be your Monitor yet when I tell you it 's out of a sincere Love to your precious Soul and a hearty Desire of your Well-doing I doubt not but in Kindness it will be receiv'd as indeed it is intended not only the Relation between us but the Rules of Christianity will oblige us to watch over one another And truly Cousin I am satisfi'd that Religion never receives a greater Wound than by the Miscarriages of Professors Stains in them will prove more mischievous than the Spots of a Licentious Age. O Cousin The Eyes of the World are upon you nay God's Eye is upon you to whom you and all the World must be accountable With much Grief and Sadness of Heart I have very lately heard you reflected upon for some loose Carriages and that particularly by one eminent for Grace and Goodness whose Name I am obliged to conceal what he acquaints me with is in Tenderness to you and out of a hearty Desire I should improve my Interest in your behalf Some indeed of the times having made their Observations upon you seem themselves very much to condemn you as declaring you are in the direct way to ruin your self instancing in these things viz. Your High-house-keeping your Negligence in all your Affairs your frequent Contracting new Debts your Excess in Pleasures associating your self with the Gallants of the Age and your sinful Compliances in high Drinking One Person I know whose Company is scandalous enough yet your Intimacy with him great You are not as some fear very likely to do him good it 's well if he does not do you hurt Some say it had been well if you had never left Roadnook remembring your blameless Conversation there and your Zeal for God and Godliness My Desire and Prayers are you may be still found in the same Paths of Holiness remember from whence you are faln and repent and do your first Works having begun in the Spirit beware of ending in the Flesh You did run well and who has hindered you Come Cousin we can never think of entring the Strait-Gate by walking in the Broad-way and much better it had been we had never known the way of Life than after to walk in the Paths of Death If we live after the Flesh we shall die but if we through the Spirit do mortify the Deeds of the Body we shall live I hope you and I have so learn'd Christ as to know that the way of carnal Liberty and Looseness the way of evil Company and Fleshliness is not the way to Heaven I am not for tying up Salvation to this or that Opinion for let Men be of what Opinion they will surely without Strictness Self-denial and Holiness they cannot be saved Mat. 16. 42. Mat. 11. 12. 1 Pet. 1. 15 16. O then with holy David labour to be only a Companion of those that fear the Lord for God has said The Companions of Fools shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. and who greater Fools than impenitent Sinners Yours in Christ G. D. A Letter to my dear Friend Mr. Whitaker SIR I Receiv'd yours by our Neighbour by whose Conveyance I hope this may arrive your hands I return you hearty Thanks for your good Society whilst with us for which I am abundantly obliged to you not you to me I should be very glad to see you again with good Mrs. Whitaker with you when your Conveniency and more setled-times will encourage for truly at present it 's a dark and gloomy Day with us but Light is sown for the Righteous and Gladness for the upright in Heart Psal 97. 11. Our Ministers Night and Day are so strictly watch'd for that they come not at all amongst us many have here suffer'd very much some one way some another but yet truly God is good to Israel and to them of an upright Heart his Ways are certainly the best Ways however at present attended with Trouble and Difficulty Were it with us as Men and Devils would have it it would be much worse but they are under the Lord's Restraints who triumph over us Your kind and Christian Lines were no less seasonable than welcome at this Juncture when poor I find all Helps little enough to keep me unmov'd in such shaking days as ours and to prevent Murmurings Frettings and Repinings at the Prosperity of the Wicked Dear Sir pray that my Faith fail not The Lord establish our Hearts and Minds with Grace and enable us at what time we are afraid with holy David to trust in him and with Jehoshaphat under all Discouragements whatsoever to encourage our selves in the Lord our God I do believe God will issue things well and bring Order out of all Confusion and Light out of Darkness and Good out of all Evil that 's before us It will be thus in his Time if not in ours His will be done Yours c. G. D. To Mrs. Mary Lavet after her Marriage Decemb. 85. Dear Madam I Hope when all things are consider'd you will not see much cause to blame me that I have not before now welcomed and congratulated your arrival into our Condition Till your Letter to my Wife came which some ways strangely halted in its Voyage I knew not otherways than by common Fame which of late has prov'd too false to trust whether to call you by first or second Name however now Madam I wish you much Joy in the Change of it send a Thousand good Wishes after you and heartily beg what I am sure you desire That this Change of your Condition may be to the Glory of God the Advantage of your Soul and the Mutual Comfort and Satisfaction one of another I need not acquaint you who are better able to be my Monitor that the new Condition the Lord has brought you into calls for new Duties and may be accompanied with new Trials the Lord â—it you and your dear Yoak-Fellow good Mr. Lavet for all and crown your Change with many Blessings both Temporal Spiritual and Eternal I hope Madam you will believe though when last in the Country you would not make trial that my House is as much your Home as ever and glad we shall be at any time to enjoy such Guests My dear Wife begs your pardon for not answering your kind Letter for which she thanks you and hopes those hurrying Circumstances we were about that time under may excuse the Neglect The Lord â—it us for his Pleasure support us in a time of Trial enable us to maintain our Integrity and keep our Standing in Christianity whatever comes and prevent our declining and decaying in the good Ways of God is the earnest and hearty Prayers of him who needs and begs yours And O that we and all that wish well to Sion may pray hard for the Peace and Prosperity of Jerusalem for they shall
prosper that love her I am Madam Your most obliged Friend and humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mr. Lob at London Jan. 25 83. SIR I Receiv'd your very kind Letter and Christian Lines some time since and had return'd you my Thanks sooner had not extraordinary Business prevented I have cause to bless God for your Acquaintance and for that Christian Society I had with you whilst at London O that I could be as serviceable to you in the best things as you have been to me Poor unworthy Me who needs jogging Heavenwards It 's with us as with others a very dark and gloomy Day but Light is sown for the Righteous who shall reap if they faint not and Gladness for the upright in Heart as the Psalmist speaks O that we could be like the Doves of the Valley mourning after the Lord who seems to be departing from us The Sons of Violence with us act high our Sufferings many but O that none of these things may move us neither may we account our Lives dear to us if call'd to lay them down for the Sake of Christ and his Gospel If the Lord give us but a fixed Heart that we can trust in him we need not then be afraid of the worst times nor the saddest of Tidings but may encourage our selves in the Lord our God under the greatest Discouragements from Men whatsoever Surely the People of God have greatly provok'd God O that we may repent and return to him that smiteth God will certainly arise in the behalf and plead the Cause of his People he will work Deliverance for Sion if not in our time yet in his O that this may satisfy us And that when Foundations seem to be out of course we may with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages Dear Sir pray for us and for me in particular who need your Prayers that my Faith fail not that I may with Constancy and Courage own the good Ways of God and hold fast my Integrity the very desire of my Soul being to keep close to God I would fain win as many into Heaven's-ways and as much strengthen such Hands as hang down as such an unworthy Wretch as I may What Interest I have at the Throne of Grace I hope shall not fail to be improv'd for the Church of God and for you my dear Friend Being Sir Your hearty well-wishing Friend and Humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mrs. Sarah Reyner one of my Charge Jan. 85. Dear Mrs. Sarah I Receiv'd yours which though the first receiv'd is not I perceive the first sent for which I thank you and have according to your Desire sent you by paying it to Mr. Charleton's Clerk 50 s. I much wonder your Sister Elizabeth would not vouchsafe me one Line since she left the Country but however do rejoice to hear upon enquiry you both do well as to this World and I would fain hope you will not be negligent in minding the Affairs of a better World nor dare be regardless of your precious and immortal Souls You are both the Children of Religious Parents have been blest with a good Education and many Prayers are I believe lodg'd in Heaven for you so that you cannot miscarry at so cheap a rate as others may who have not had your Advantages for being good O that I could prevail with you to live up to such distinguishing Mercy You have I perceive good Settlements in the World bless God for that But O! are you well setled and interested in Christ Have you made sure of a Treasure in Heaven have you laid hold on eternal Life and secured the everlasting Welfare of your precious Souls Be your worldly Accommodations never so great till this be done your Work is not half done You are in a City of great Advantages I pray attend upon the best most powerful Soul-searching and Conscience-awakening Ministry you can with the Leave of those who are your Superiâ—rs Be thorow-pac'd in the Ways of God dare not to be slighty and indifferent in the Family-Duties I hope you are priviledged withal nor to neglect Closet-Duties as Prayer Reading the Scriptures Self-Examination Meditation and the like at least Morning and Evening Shun and avoid Temptations as much as may be considering the great Corruption and Depravedness of Nature Remember your Creator in the Days of your Youth and having set your Face Heavenward look not back It will be much my Rejoycing to see you and all of you the Off-spring of most pious Relations now with God do well and if my poor Prayers and Endeavours may any ways contribute hereto they are not they have not they shall not through Grace be wanting I being Yours c. G. D. Some Passages of a Letter in answer to my Mother Disney complaining of Decay of her Sight Honoured Mother I Return you my humble Thanks for your welcom Lines and do hope that the uncertainty of my Man's last Journey to Lincoln will excuse my then Silence It troubles me much to hear of your Eyes Decaying and Dimming which as you please to observe is one Effect of old Age It 's great Mercy the Lord has given you the use of them so long but far greater that he has given you a Heart to use them to his Glory and your own and others Benefit and Advantage I fear your too much Reading in the Day-time and at all by Candle-light has and does that way prove prejudicial to you I would therefore humbly beg you to favour them as much as may be and this am consident of would you please to take up your Abode with us there 's no Eyes in my Family but would chearfully and readily be at your Service to excuse and preserve your own which I trust the Lord will yet continue to you My good Aunt Thornton I am perswaded will not be against my improving this Argument for the Enjoyment of your good Companies here most desirable to us My Eyes I can perceive are not so strong as they have been O that as our bodily Eyes dim and decay the Eye of Faith may grow more clear for certainly a Look within the Vail must be most refreshing and supporting to a gracious Soul and a renewed Mind Those indeed that see best in our Days with bodily Eyes see en'e little or nothing but what has a sad and frightful Aspect and may occasion Matter of sad Thoughts but by Faith we may look into an unseen World take a View of unseen Comforts and live upon unseen Riches and Happiness which are the most pleasant things the most certain and the most lasting The worst in this World need not nay cannot dismay us Whilst we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 2 Cor. 4. 18 c. A Letter to Mr. Whitaker Jan. 24 1683. SIR THis Day I receiv'd yours till
stand At th' Bar of Prisoners holding up his Hand Methinks I see and doleful Sight it is Judas betraying Jesus with a Kiss I hear them mock and jear the glorious King Instead of Scepter they a Reed him bring They spit on 's Face and 's blessed Head adorns With nothing but a pricking Crown of Thorns The Souldiers wag their Heads and on him rail'd And forc'd him bear the Cross to which he 's nail'd They pierc'd his Sides with Spears and at him wink And gave him Vinegar and Gall to drink I see the Virgins following with their Cries With Countenances sad and bleared Eyes I see my Lord look towards them and say Weep not for me but for your selves I pray I hear them quickly making this Reply How can we chuse but weep when thou must die Our Hearts are full and must have some Relief They either now must burst or melt with Grief O wicked Tyrants cursed bloody Jews Knew you but who it is that you thus use You would weep too and could no longer grudg To shed some Tears for him who now you judg Meditations in Verse upon John 6. 36. All that the Father giveth me shall come to me and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out GOod News indeed from Christ I hear That all the Father has given Vnto my Blessed Lord shall come And never miss of Heaven Then come O Soul and coming know Thou hast no cause to doubt For he that cannot lie hath said He will not cast thee out Object 1. Ah says the Soul I 'm cloy'd with Sin Can such an one as I Take any saving step to Christ No surely I must die By Adam's Fall I lost my Strength Ability and Power And how can I move after Christ Who'm sinning every Hour Answer Well yet take Courage thou mayst come The Master calls Arise They that but come he never will Cast off in any wise Object 2. Tell me says Soul but how I may Know when I come aright Resolve me this and then through Grace I 'le come with all my Might Answer Well Sinner see thy self then lost And wretchedly undone Till Heart and Mind be both inclin'd To rest on Christ alone Does now thy Heart work after Christ Is Sin thy burthen Soul Then come away for now thou mayst Vpon thy Saviour roul Object 3. Ah says the Sinner though I find A willingness to come To Jesus Christ as being lost Yet all my Work 's not done My End I fear cannot be good Self in this choice I cherish I take a Christ to give me Life As knowing else I perish Answer Well Sinner yet though this be all Thy present End and Aim In taking Christ thou welcome art For he has said the same The Argument that Christ does use Encouragement to give To Sinners to come in to him Is that they turn and live Yea he upbraids the Jews though they Were now with him at Strife Ye will not come to me says he That I may give you Life Come then for Life though that be all At present in thine Eye Thou dost believe that Christ can save And therefore to him fly Object 4. Ah! but I find says one poor Soul My Pace to Christ so slow That I can hardly sometimes tell Whether I come or no. Answer Well we 'll admit that this poor Soul Be verily thy Case Yet canst thou say Lord draw me on And I shall mend my Pace Thy Frame in Duties thou find'st sad Thy Pulse beats very slow Yet if but beating after Christ Take Courage Soul and go Come on to Christ bewail thy Sloth If he but see thee weeping For those faint Steps thou tak'st to him He 'll welcome thee though creeping Object 5. Ah! says another coming Soul Here 's this does sorely out I come so late to Mercy 's Gate I fear the Door is shut Answer Well coming Sinner come away Though thou but come at last To Christ thou' rt welcome if thou dost Come now more quick and fast He that came in at th' eleventh Hour Though idle all the Day Being sent to work with other Men At Night had equal pay The Thief that hung upon the Cross Did late for Mercy cry Shew Mercy Lord to me a Wretch And that before I die Welcome says Christ I 've heard thy Prayer And happy thou shalt be I 'm going up to Paradise And thou shalt be with me He stood it out to th' very last Yet Mercy did obtain O then delaying Souls to Christ You cannot come in vain Object 6. Well says another I am fall'n Since I began to come To Jesus Christ and therefore fear For such there is no room Answer Why truly Falls poor Soul are sad They wound the Conscience sore And cause the Enemies of God Reproachfully to roar Yet know O Soul thou arguest wrong For want of Scripture-Light Thus to conclude because of Falls Thy coming was not right If David and King Solomon And Peter that bright Star Had argued thus against themselves They'd mist the Matter far Thou' rt coming unto God poor Soul And may expect it well The Devil will do what he can To trip thee down to Hell The World the Flesh the Devil all Will now against thee roar Then wonder not at single Falls But that thou gets no more The Child i' th Gospel you shall find To Christ no sooner coming But th' Devil threw him down and tore For to prevent his running The Lord upholdeth his that fall So much he does them prize That though by sinful slips they fall Through Grace he 'll makethem rise Well falling Sinner haste to Christ Thou never needs to doubt But he that helps thee up when down Will never cast thee out Object 7. But I am dead the Sinner says What Comfort can you give Answer The Dead shall hear my Voice says God And they that hear shall live Object 8. But I 'm a Captive bound in Chains And fettered by Sin Answer Yet this Word Shall come unto Christ Will quickly fetch thee in Object 9. I 'm blind and cannot see my way Through th' Darkness of my Mind And how can such come unto Christ The way he cannot find Answer Thy Blindness Soul cannot obstruct If thou thy Blindness see I 'le lead says God in Paths untrod To bring such Souls to me I will make Darkness Light to them And crooked Things most streight And this benighted Souls shall find If they upon me wait Object 10. Ah but my Case is still far worse I have not sinn'd alone But others by Example I The way to Sin have shown They that turn many Souls I find To Righteousness shall shine As Stars above for ever more But this Case is not mine Answer Well here 's yet Comfort in those Days Says he that cannot lie Iniquity shall sought for be But none shall it espy Object 11. Well but methinks I hear a Soul Bemoaning thus and cry It 's Faith I
just And to his Life conform Since we Profession make we must The Gospel thus adorn He is our Lord Redeemer and We do profess that we By what he 's done are now redeem'd From all Iniquity His Name we own to call upon Are therefore strictly boâ—… To honour not reproach the same His Glory forth to sound Do we of Nature most divine Pretend for to partake Let us in all our Actions shine And him our Pattern make Do we to 's Doctrine credit give Labour we to adorn The Gospel then in every thing By sutable return Have we his Spirit then we 're led With glorious Success To live and act and walk i' th ways Of Truth and Holiness True Faith in Christ where ' ere it 's found will purge and purify It mends the Heart and every part The Life 's reform'd hereby A Love to Christ we all profess O let this Love constrain Vs for to live to him that dy'd And now is rose again Christ while on Earth was undefil'd Most Sinless was his State No stain or spot did ever soil This Lamb Immaculate He by his Blessed Life while here Did an Example give How we should carry walk and speak And Holy Lives should live In all his ways he was sincere Nothing could ever soil That perfect Innocence of his So free from Craft and Guile Meditations upon Mr. G's Text 1 Joh. 4. 7. And every one that loveth is born of God c. THe gracious Soul that 's born of God And has a saving sight Of what is Evil and what 's Good And knoweth God aright He loveth God and Godliness And every Saint that he Believes God's Image stampt upon In Truth and Verity Lord grant me Teaching from Above Illuminate me so That thou a God in Covenant I savingly may know That Light of Nature all Men have It never can afford The full Idea of that God Who is the Living Lord. Nor can the best of Creatures show Though wonderfully wrought The Splendour of the God Above Too vainly this way sought No 't is the Soul that 's born again And 's by the Spirit taught Can only fear and serve the Lord And know him as he ought Such they 'l sincerely seek to God They call and knock and cry Will learn to pray from Day to Day With Importunity Re thou the Portion of my Soul I then can be content With smallest share of Worldly Fare And meanest Settlement Give me a Christ or I 'm undone Hear Lord my Suit and Cry Let me be thine and Christ be mine Without him I must die Bless to my Soul the means of Grace Thy Institutions all Incline mine Ear O Lord to hear And to obey thy Call Meditations upon Isa 50. 10. Who is there among you that feareth the Lord c. HE that does truly fear the Lord And 's Servant doth obey Who walk's i' th dark and sees no Light May yet upon him stay He may with greatest Confidence A Succour from him claim Who is the Lord Jehovah Great By trusting in his Name Meditations upon Luk. 10. 31. By chance there came down a certain Priest that way c. ALL Mankind since the Fall are bent To travel out o' th way That leads to Bliss and Happiness And sinfully to stray Both Priest and Levite here agree When as a wounded Man They did espy to pass him by Without Compassion Legal and Moral Righteousness Can never give Relief But dreadful Comforters do prove To Souls opprest with Grief And as for formal Holiness Or bare Profession made It never can relieve a Man With Comfort when dismay'd 'T is none of these that can appease The burthen'd Sinner fainting It 's Christ alone that such an one Is longing for and panting Turn then aside my Blessed Lord A wounded Sinner see For I am sure I need a Cure Have Mercy Lord on me Other Physicians all I find But vain as to my Case I must depend unto the end O Lord upon thy Grace O thou the good Samaritan Compassionate and kind Pour in thine Oil upon my Soul Then healing I shall find Meditations on 1 Joh. 2. 29. If ye know that he is righteous c. KNowing that Christ is righteous Must necessar'ly show That he must needs be born of God That Righteousness doth do A Legal Righteousness none can Discharge since Adam's Fall But here 's our Comfort God accepts What 's Evangelical Meditations upon Mr. F's Text Phil. 1. 27. Only let your Conversation be as becometh the Gospel of Christ GOD grant our Conversations here May ever more be such As may the Gospel of our Lord Adorn and Credit much It presses Holiness in Life And teaches to deny Vngodliness and Worldly Lusts And living soberly The Gospel pure and its Rules Do reach the inward part And notice take of all Mistakes Both in the Life and Heart 'T is Holy Righteous Just and Good Directs us to abstain From all appearances of Ill From Carriage light and vain To cleanse our selves from Filthiness Both of the Flesh and Spirit T' avoid indecent Wantonness And Gospel-Rules to credit All sinful Gestures it forbids And Carriage vain and light The Glances of a Lustful Eye And Works that shun the Light Thy Word O Lord's a Word of Truth Forbids Deceit and Guile Teaches to fly Hypocrisy And ev'ry Motion vile An Hymn upon Mr. C's Text Eccles 12. 1. Remember now thy Creator c. REmember thy Creator now Whilst youthful Days do last Now know love fear and serve thy God For Age is hastning fast The Evil Days are drawing on Then now lay up thy Treasure For being come thou 'lt find and say In these I have no Pleasure An Hymn upon Rev. 2. 10. Fear none of those things c. FFar not the Troubles Jesus saith Vnto his Church below That thou may'st here be call'd to bear And forc'd to undergo The Devil by his Instruments To Prison some shall hale Yet 't is but some it is not all The Promise cannot fail A ten Days Trial such may have And Tribulation bear But being faithful unto Death ACrown of Life shall wear An Hymn on 1 Tim. 2. 5. ONE God there is and only One One Mediator High The Man Christ Jesus who for all Did pay full Price and die On 1 Joh. 2. 1 3. IF any sin we have on High An Advocate who spilt His precious Blood that he thereby Might expiate our Guilt On Rev. 5. 13. BLessing and Glory and Renown To him we give therefore That sits o' th Throne and to the Lamb Of God for evermore Psal 113. turned into other Verse and a more common Tune April 1686. OYe the Servants of the Lord His Holy Name adore Sing forth his Praise with one accord And bless him evermore Ev'n from the rising of the Sun Vnto its going down Cease not this praising Work begun Give Glory and Renown Above all Nations God is High His glittering Glory count Does very much for Majesty The Heavens High
surmount Who then is like the Lord our God Who though of highest worth Humbles himself for to behold Both Things in Heav'n and Earth The Poor from Dust he raises High And from the Dunghil brings The Needy prest with Misery To sit enthron'd with Kings The Barren he does cause to bear Such Joyful Mothers shall In their own Houses Children rear Praise ye the Lord for all An Hymn upon Prov. 28. 13. He that covereth his Sins shall not prosper c. And upon the Doctrine raised by Mr. C. March 27 86. THE Sinner thinks by hiding Sin It shall not come to Light Because Man sees not be concludes It is not in God's sight But Folly great will soon appear In Sinners thus misled For he by cov'ring Sin pulls down Heaven's Wrath upon his Head Though he that hides Sin never shall Have quiet in his Mind He that confesseth and forsakes The same shall Mercy find An Hymn upon Matth. 16. 26. For what is a Man profited c. WHAT Can it profit any Man Though all the World he gain And by his sinful carking Cares What Heart can wish obtain If after all his Soul be lost What is 't he would not give To ransom his miscarry'ng Soul That it might ever live An Hymn upon Mr. N's Text Octob. 89 Prov. 30. 7 8 9. Two things have I required of thee c. TWO Things O Lord especially I beg thou 'lt please to give Deny me not before I die But grant 'em whilst I live Remove far from me Vanities Make Heart and Life both sound Let not deceitful Shifts and Lies Be with thy Servant found Lord give me neither Poverty Nor Wealth in too great store I beg what may convenient be And do desire no more Not Riches Lord lest too great share Make Pride become my Bane Nor Poverty lest I should steal And take thy Name in vain An Hymn upon Mr. M's Text May 29 1690. and Doctrine 1 Joh. 3. 9. Whosoever is born of God c. HE doth not sin that 's born of God His Seed in him remains He cannot sin as others do The Grace of God restrains He does not sin insensibly As carnal Men are prone But quickly feels its smart and pain And under it does groan Thorow Corruption which remains And best of Saints have got They are in Sin too apt to slip But constantly sin not He does not sin presumptuously Nor wilfully submit He does not overtake the Sin But is o're'tane by it And when through Frailty he does fall He quickly does arise He dare not rest and wallow in His Sin in any wise Lord give me Grace for to avoid The Pit the Sinner's in Keep back thy Servant from known Guile And from presumptuous Sin An Hymn upon Mr. D's Text Luk. 13. 24 25 26. Strive to enter in at the strait Gate c. STRIVE now to hit the narrow way And enter the strait Gate For not a few shall sadly rue Their striving when too late When once the Lord has shut the Door And those without begin To knock and cry in Misery Lord open let us in The Lord shall answer them and say Thus trembling at his Bar I never knew any of you I know not whence you are Then shall poor wretched Sinners urge And many of 'em say Lord have we not done this and that For thee in our Day 'T was in thy Presence we poor we Have ate and drank and sought We had thy Word O Blessed Lord And in our Streets thou 'st taught We 've prophesied in thy Name And mighty Works have done The Devils they did us obey We cast 'em out they run When as the Lord shall thus reply Go Sinners take your Lot In you I see Iniquity Depart I know you not VERSES upon the King of France's Persecution the Faithful Account being published in Prose turned into Verse by G. D. Decemb. 86. IN humane Monster what will nothing do But seize Estates and ruine Churches too Will nothing serve the turn but tear and rend And break in pieces Hearts that dare not bend Excuse me then if now I can't forbear To tell the World the Stories that I hear That some who stand amazed may perchance Humble this proud and bloody King of France Dragoons are called in to seize the Treasure And quarter upon Protestants at pleasure Guards they are plac'd at Gates with naked Swords With frightful Aspects domineering Words Watchmen stand lurking for to make a Prey Of all that would escape and get away This was the constant cry of Troopers Kill Destroy those damned Hereticks at will Be Catholicks ye Sots and now return Vnto our Faith or you'st do worse than burn How many weeping Eyes and Hearts do bleed To see their Friends as dying yet not dead Die they desire but those Rogues in grain Tell them they shall not die but live in Pain Estates they seized rifled Houses then Invented Torments new for those good Men. Babes from the Mothers Breasts these Tyrants tore Such Cruelties they acted o're and o're They enter Neighbours Houses at their Pleasure Take thence their Jewels Plate and other Treasure They left the owners nothing they thought worth The taking from them and their carrying forth Provision that they found they seiz'd with Joy And what they could not eat they did destroy They being fill'd the rest must go to 'th Swine They swore the Owners should be forc'd to Dine On harder Fare Nay to compleat their Grief They made it Penal for to give Relief To any one of those The hungry Bellies and the naked Backs From Doors of richer Men were forc'd to pack No Wickedness was scrupled that might tend The Projects of these Monsters to befriend Good Men were sighing forth their dol'rous Cries Whilst others Mouths were fill'd with Blasphemies Inhumanly they Protestants did vex Without regarding either Age or Sex Who would not yield that Popish Jugling Fools Should have the conduct of their precious Souls Who would not give up Reason and from thence Submit to Men that had not common Sense They soon did mark them out for to presage They were to be the Objects of their Rage They hung up Men or Women that they took Vpon a Gally-bauk or Chimney-hook Some by the Hair o' th Head some by their Feet And thus they served all they did think meet Smoak'd them with Wisps of Straw whilst hanging there Till they that Torment could no longer bear They took them down and if they would not then Quickly recant they 'd hang them up again Through Fiery Streams they caused them to wade In which consuming Torments many staid Till almost roasted this was their Intent New Torments for those Creatures to invent Many they hal'd with Ropes and let them down Into the deepest Pits in all the Town From whence they might not come till they could see By Hand and Seal they Catholicks would be Bound them as Criminals are ty'd alas And thus with pinion'd Fetters they must
which time I was afraid mine to you had miscarry'd I heartily rejoice at the Lord's Goodness to you and yours and through Mercy can give you the same Account concerning me and mine though a sickly Season in many Places We have through the Goodness of God of late enjoy'd very comfortable Opportunities at my House for which I desire to bless God But the last Meeting we had here being rather too large was disturb'd the Mayor having notice of Peoples coming in sent his Serjeant who when the People were disperst and the Minister gone came in and desired Liberty to search my House which I giving him he told me if upon my word I would say there was no Minister at my House he would neither trouble me nor himself I assured him there was none he then only went into the Garden where he pretended he saw 300 but however they not being able to make a Conventicle of it nor a Riot the Jury found it an unlawful Assembly the which they prosecute and I intend to traverse for they cannot make out any unlawful Act. The Day is yet dark and the Sufferings of many great and Sin at the bottom of all If the Hearts and Lives of Professors were better we should soon see better Times It 's repenting Work and reforming Work is our Duty O that we could see the Hand of God in all that befals us and turn to him that smiteth O that we could with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages when Foundations seem out of course c. A Copy of a Letter to Madam L. upon the Death of her Kinswoman and the Birth of her Child Honoured Madam I Did at the same time by the Pen of Mrs. Green receive the sad Tidings of the Death of your dear Kinswoman Mrs. M. and the joyful News of your safe Delivery from the Pains and Peril of Child-bearing the one I know would be afflicting enough to you the other I can assure you was welcom Tidings to me and a Mercy I hope and believe you will endeavour to improve towards your Support and Comfort and the Glory of the great Jehovah See dear Madam the Lord's Tenderness and Goodness to you in late Dispensations your Afflictions are mix'd and allay'd with Mercies You may experience what patient Job says The Lord gives and the Lord takes and I believe with him likewise you desire to bless his holy Name He has taken away your Kinswoman but he has given you a Child has taken away one that was very useful faithful and necessary to you and given you one who through his own Blessing upon a religious and pious Education you may comfortably hope he will make so Let not blubber'd Eyes for a Comfort lost prevent your chearful fruitful and thankful Notice of what remains pour not so much upon the dark-side of present Dispensations as to hinder your taking the Comfort of and heartily blessing God for the bright-side and Shinings of Mercy Dear Madam I am a hearty Sympathizer with you in your Trouble and desire to bear my part in blessing the Lord with you and for you with reference to Mercy show'd you You have now obtain'd a new Mercy from the Lord and I believe know well that new Duties are incumbent upon you c. A Letter to my Mother upon the Death of my Sister D. May 24 1690. Ever honoured Mother STill the Lord is pleased to make Breaches upon our Family the suddain and surprizing News of our dear Sister's Death came to us this Day by Mr. B. and I could not omit sending a few Lines to you by Post this Night I know Honoured Mother the Stroke lies exceeding heavy upon you I am afraid much too heavy being very well acquainted with the Tenderness of your Affections and the Workings of your Bowels to Relations But I pray dear Mother refuse not to be comforted I am perswaded you have no reason to sorrow as one without hope for her who I believe now sleeps in the Bosom of her and our dear Redeemer Our God has done his Pleasure let us now labour to do our Duty and be content We heartily wish our selves with you but can't as yet accomplish that Desire being unprovided of Horses and a Servant but as soon as may be we do purpose it The good Lord sanctify this Stroke to us all and â—it us for our latter End and grant that we may be Followers of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises The Inclosed I desired may be sent to my poor afflicted Brother to whose Relief and Support I desire to contribute something Though Shortness of Time suffers not Enlargement farther than to present all our humble Duties to your self and honoured Aunt with Service to all Friends I rest Honoured Mother Your Obedient Son G. D. A Letter to Brother D. upon the Death of his Wife May 24 90. My Dear Brother I Heartily lament the sad Breach the Lord has been pleas'd to make upon you and am the more a Sympathizer with you as knowing by my own Experience what such a Stroke and Dispensation means The Lord has I know taken away the Delight and Desire of your Eyes this is your Misâ—ry but having taken her to himself let that be your Comfort he has snatch'd at a Stroke a Wife out of your Bosom which certainly is most grievous but has he not taken her into his own let this be your Support She was well provided for on Earth and had as much Satisfaction aâ— I believe any on account of a tender Husband sweet Children deaâ— Relations and other comfortable Accommodations but much better now in Heaven has better Place better Company better Employment tâ—an a vain World evâ—r did or could afâ—ord What occurs in 2 Cor. 7. 29 31. equally concerns both you and me whose Conditions in this case havâ— been the very same though now different you must labour to be and carry as if you had not lost a Wife and I as if I had no Wife Time is short and Life shoâ—t and relative Comforts are transient and fluid things thereforâ— your Sorrows must be moderate for your Loss and my â—oys be as if they were not seeing we and ours are to fall and part and pass away in our Courses My dear Brother labour â—or a Christian-Carriage under so sad a Cross O that what you want in the Creature may be abundantly made up by a Creator and that what you have lost as to Streams may be supplied from a Fountain God's Rod has a Voice as well as his Word and I believe you 'l labour to hear it and him that has appointed it O Brother we must have a care of â—nterâ—aining hard Thoughts of God who does all thingâ— in Righteousness and afflicts his Children in very Faithfulness My Bowels really yearâ— towards you now Wifeless and your poor â—aâ—â—s now Motherless the Lord be a Comfort and Support to you all and make up this astonishing Breach