read in my Church upon a Lords day that very day in stead of reading of it which I utterly abhorred to doe as an abominable thing I turned my afternoon preaching into an opening of the fourth Commandement therein proving the Lords day to wit the first day of the week to succeed the seventh or last day of the week both for Sabbath and Sanctification under the Gospel Now the newes and Order for my enlargement comming to me on the Lords day I took it as a gracious reward of mercy from God whose day I had formerly stood for against all the adversaries thereof Againe secondly this day was the fifteenth day of the month to wit November which was the first day of the last month that made up the three yeares and a halfe from the day of my Censure and so was fulfilled that which I spake before at Coventry to the said Reverend Ministers Mr Nalton and Mr Hughs that three yeares and a halfe hence we should meet againe and be merry For June 14. 1637. was my Censure and November 15. 1640. was the first day of the last month that made up three yeares and a halfe so as the Parliaments Order calling me forth of prison to be presented before them seemed to me to be that great voice from heaven saying to the two Witnesses after their lying dead three dayes and a halfe three yeares and a halfe unburied Come up hither Moreover I observed that I had come to Guernsey on the fifteenth day of the month and three yeares after on the fifteenth day of the month taking that month current from the fifteenth day came my release And the like did my brother Prin of his comming to Jarsey which was on the seventeenth day of the month and his release came to him on the seventeenth day of the month so punctuall is God in doing all things in number weight and measure could we but take a right measure of his doings in all the passages of his Providence On Tuesday the seventeenth the messengers came to my brother Prin so as by Thursday after he came to me to Guernsey where we being feasted by all the Ministers there and more especially by Mr Delamarch at his house and my selfe by some worthy Merchants in the Towne we were no sooner ready to set saile but the wind came about for us to goe for England And here I cannot omit to observe the sweet Providence of God in bringing our friends from London so prosperously They came on Thursday from London to Southampton the next day they provided a Bark the while the wind was opposite but Saturday morning the fourteenth they being ready the wind came about and brought them the next day to Guernsey They staid not one day for the wind in comming nor we for going for England On Saturday the 21. about two of the clock in the afternoone taking our leave of the worthy Lievtenant and the rest we set saile for England where the wind by a gentle gale brought us the next day at night being the Lords day to arrive And here againe I observe two speciall passages of the divine Providence First that the wind blowing slack and the night comming on and we being now distant from from the maine land three or foure leagues so as the master was somewhat perplexed for want of wind we encouraged him and thereupon all our company went into the hold and fell to sing Psalmes Wee had no sooner begun to sing but presently the wind began to whistle up so that we might heare the Bark to rowse through the waves we continued our singing and the wind continued his blowing untill just as we had done singing the master had cast anchor we not knowing it till we came upon the deck for which we blessed our God The second Circumstance was that in the very same place where I had parted last from England did our Bark now cast anchor for England God so disposing it by his wind And this was in the mouth of Dartmouth where leaving our Bark to goe for South-hampton with our Stuffe we lodged in Dartmouth that night concluding and refreshing our long Pilgrimage with the close of the Sabbaticall rest of that day The next day being courteously entertained of some of the best of the Towne who also provided us horses being nine or ten in company we hastened for London and came that night to Exceter within night where we saw the faces of many religious people who most lovingly entreated us many of them accompanying us the next day out of the City We rode the next day to Lime where comming though somewhat late in the evening we were kindly entertained by the reverend and godly Minister there Mr Geere and by a worthy Justice of the Peace Thence we set for ward the next morning before day hastening to come to the Lecture at Dorchester which we did being there refreshed both in soule and body where we were saluted and entertained by many worthy Christians After dinner the same day we rode on our journey lodging at a private Towne betweene Dorchester and Salisbury The next day we dined at Salisbury where we visited Mr Thatcher a reverend and laborious Minister there but very sickly at that time and since deceased whence in the afternoone being accompanied by sundry good Christians in the City we rode to Andover that night being in the way met by sundry good Christians of that Towne who entertained us very courteously and accompanied us on in our journey the next day on which being Friday we reached to Egham that night being met by the way before we came at Bagshot by many of our loving friends and neighbours of London and especially my Friday-street neighbours my old Parishioners and when we were not farre past Bagshot we were met by my most loving and dear wife who came accompanied with many loving friends and worthy Citizens of London among whom was that most affectionate friend Mr Willingham and his loving wife who came with my wife in the Coatch which he had provided for that purpose What expressions of joy and love there were at our meeting cannot be expressed Well to Egham we came in the close of the day where every house brought forth a light to light us to our lodging where we were most nobly entertained by multitudes of friends that from London met us there They called it our wedding night which was principally celebrated by that worthy and reverend Minister of Egham Mr Rayner who prayed with us with solemne giving of thanks expressed also in singing of Psalmes which he had most fitly and sweetly composed of many parts and parcels of Psalmes very admirably accommodated to the present occasion and all which continuing almost a whole houre Mr Rayner repeated without book The next morning very early all our company was ready and after prayer took horse being on our journey for London before the Sunne arose Of the whole traine consisting of two or three
hundred many went out of Egham not without their branches of Rosemary and Bayes as Ensignes of the wedding insomuch as all the way as wee rode the poore people brought forth whole baskets of Rosemary and Bayes to furnish every one in the traine which continually was encreased by the way At every Towne the Bells were rung as we passed through the streets being strowed with people to see our faces But by the way I observed the Sunne rising with an extraordinary brightnesse by reason of the clearnesse of the ayre the whole skie notwithstanding being covered over from side to side round about with one entire cloud as it were a seamlesse mantle or vaile upon the whole hemispheare only the Sunne unclouded But still as the Sunne mounted higher and higher this mantle or clould did by degrees draw back and give way to the Sunne and so passed before it untill the cloud did by degrees wholly vanish as driven away by the Sunnes brightnesse without the least breath of wind to cause it so to passe away This was observed also by many in the company so as though it were the end of November yet after the Sunne had chased away the cloud which fled before it never was there a day in Somer more cleare more bright more sweet and comfortable then that was And it was the more to be observed because all the dayes in our journey from our first landing were much clouded and thickned with mists or fogs only beginning to cleare up as we approached to Egham where our friends met us So as the extraordinarinesse of this dayes brightnesse and beauty so cleared up as before made some impression in my minde of a sweet and glorious day or time which the Sun of righteousnesse arising over England with healing under his wings was now about to procure for us after once that black cloud which hanged over the Land was by degrees chased away But this by the way Nor did the cloud faster wane before the Sun then the faces of our friends from London began more and more to shine being now multiplied as it were into so many constellations of bright starres by the reflection whereof our way towards London seemed to be another via lactea or {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} as the Philosopher calls it that milkie-white brightnesse which we see in the heavens in a cleare starty night But now in the midst of all this glory and favour cast upon us and shining forth from the faces and affections of Gods people I began to fee and to be sensible of a farre greater danger then I had beene in during all the time of my imprisonment and exile For then and there I displayed all my sailes to be filled with the gentle gales of comforts breathing from heaven upon me but now I saw a necessity of taking in my sailes lest the wind of Gods favour and of his peoples affections blowing so strongly yet sweetly upon me might overturne and sink my brittle Bark now in the very bosome of the haven For I began now to feele some stirrings within me Satan now labouring to overthrow me as he did Adam in this my seeming Paradise which he could not doe while I lay on Jobs dunghill Therefore as the Mariner seeing an Herican approaching presently takes in his sailes so did I now I descried in this calme a storme abrewing hereupon I did retire my thoughts inward and did earnestly pray to the Lord that he would no lesse strongly support me with his hand now in this prosperous condition then he had done formerly in all my sufferings And the Lord heard me for both for the present he answered me My grace is sufficient for thee my heart all the way as I rode putting it selfe in a posture of defence against Satans fiery darts and couching so low that his bullets flew all over my head and afterwards lest I should be exalted with abundance of salutations in London streets and abroad a messenger of Satan was sent to buffet me as we shall heare anon Thus we are in our way to London we dine at Brainford where not only all the Innes but streets were filled the company flowing in as a maine springtide not only filling the high way but overflowing the banks all along They were multiplied at Brainford to many thousands horses and coatches filling the Road from thence to London which no lesse filled the Adversaries hearts with envy and madnesse who for so long time before had rejoyced and made merry during our durance A little before I came to Charing Crosse as before is touched a woman being on foot in the midst of the horse called to me and said O Sir this is a glorious wedding day To whom I replied It is indeed good woman blessed be God Yea said she againe but your wedding day upon the pillary was more glorious I admiring this speech of the woman answered indeed it is true And truly so it was for my suffering on the pilary was made glorious by an inward spirituall power and hand of heaven upon my soule makeing it to ride as it were in triumph in that charret but this my returne from captivity was attended with an externall glory shining forth from humane favour although all was the effect and fruit of Gods mercy and providence causing the same who in all is to be blessed for ever And when I was newly past Charing Crosse over against the Mewes Sr Peter Osburne Governor of Guernsey where I was prisoner was staying in his Coatch with the boot downe no doubt as he was appointed to receive me into his coatch and so to carry me to his house at Chelsey which he tendering unto me I desired his honour to excuse me seeing I was all in a sweat and fit to goe no where but to my owne house lest my health might be endangered He pressed me againe and againe I answered still as before Then said he take notice that I have required you to goe with me I replyed And I pray you Sir take notice of the answer and reason I give you why I dare not goe with you So he dismissed me and we rid on the streets all along on each side thronged with people and all the houses and windowes from the Mewes to my house in Alderman-bury full of beholders of all sexes and ages of all sorts we were three long houres in passing from the Mewes to Alderman-bury Against my comming home that night some friends waiting in my house for my comming one of them espied there a strange man in a scarlet cloake musled about his face and being demanded what he was and not giving a cleare answer they wished him to be gone whereupon he went his way So I comming safely home enjoyed naturall rest in mine own house and the next day being the Lords Sabbath spirituall and corporall rest from all my labours past On the monday following my brother Prin and I went to attend the House of Commons
causing it to be kept in his Library at S. James After his much lamented decease I was continued in the same place and office to Prince Charles when God stirred up my heart to enter into the Ministry being then above thirty yeares of age but yet too soone as having not yet sufficiently learned to weigh that Text of the Apostle And who is sufficient for these things or yet the right way of a Ministers externall call which the ignorance and sloth of those times had not learned to walk in In that time I writ a Treatise against Simony entituled A Censure of Simony Also another Book entituled Truths triumph over Tront wherein I unfolded that mystery of iniquity packed up in the sixth session of that Councell encountring therein those two Champions of the Councell Andreas Vega and Dominicus Soto These two Books were published Cum Previlegio though with much adoe obtained of the Archbishops Chaplains in those not then full growne ripe evill times Yet they ripened so fast Abbot of Canterbury yet living that I could not obtaine of his Chaplaine the licensing of an answer of mine to a Jesuits Book entituled The converted Jew which he boldly had dedicated to both our Universities And I understood he durst not doe it for two causes first because in that Answer I had upon occasion confuted the Arminian Heresies secondly because therein I proved the Pope to be the Antichrist Which two things began in those dayes to be Noli me tangere and fewell for the Hâ—gh Commission furnace proving afterwards pillary-offences inexpiable never to be forgiven neither in this world nor in the world to come Which after times being hastened on by the immature death of King Iames have beene the only causes that have made his life desireable as Titus Livius said of Hieronymus of Syracusa Qui solus Patrem desiderabilem fecit Well King Iames being dead whether so or so or otherwise time hath not yet examined and King Charles succeeding I shall now acquaint you with a notable passage of divine Providence in parting the Court and me asunder For I understanding that the Bishop the old Clerk should still continue in that Office and that the King had designed me for some other inferiour Office and observing also that with Neale Lawd also should be continually about the King I saw there would be no abiding for me in Court any longer Yet before I went I thought I was bound in conscience by vertue of my place to informe the King of these men how popishly affected they were simply imagining that the King either did not so well know their qualities or that perhaps he might be put upon second thoughts by considering the dangerous consequences of entertaining such persons so neere about him as I presented to his Majesty in a large letter to that purpose Which letter he read a good part of I standing before him but perceiving the scope of it he gave it me againe and bade me forbeare any more attendance in my Office untill he should send for me Whereupon though for the present my spirits were somewhat appalled and dejected yet going home to my house in London and there entring into a serious meditation of Gods Providence herein how fairely he had now brought me off from the Court when I saw such Lords were like to domineere and how I might doe God and his Church better service in a more retired life as wherein I was in no danger of Court-Preferments thereby to bee cowardized from encountering such Giants as began already to threaten the Hoste of Israel and against whose power I thought Sauls armour would give me small defence but much hinder me rather I hereupon began to recollect my scattered spirits resolving now after almost twice seven yeares service quite to forsake the Court which I did signifie by another letter to a friend of mine of great place neere unto the King so as the King hath said that I put away him and not hee me However it pleased him to say so yet I had abundant cause to blesse God and daily to rejoyce with exceeding joy that I was now freed from the Court which joy hath now continually increased ever since to this very day without intermission Thus having bid the Court farewell I kept me close to the Ministery of the Word and besides my weekly preaching every Lords day twice I answered sundry erroneous and heterodox Bookes set forth by the Prelats and those of the Prelaticall party As 1. Montagues Book styled An Appeale to Caesar the first part whereof defended all the Arminian Heresies and the second was to maintain many grosse points of Popery And Dr. Francis White prefixed his Approbation to both My answer to the first part was published in print but that to the second was by the Aegyptian Task-masters strangled in the birth being upon the breaking up of the Parliament taken tardie in the Presse as it was a printing A second Book to which I made and published an Answer in time of Parliament was Cosens Private Devotions or Houres of Prayer to which his Popish Canonicall Houres I framed a fit Diall A third was a Book of Dr. Hall B. of Exceter wherein he affirmed the Church of Rome to be a true Church Which in a Treatise of mine upon the 7. Vials I occasionally confuting and Mr. Cholmley his Chaplen and Mr. Butterfield another Minister making each of them a severall reply I thereupon made one full answer to them both so as both sate down and replyed no more and Dr. Hall himselfe would salve or rather dawbe up the matter by begging the suffrages of two Bishops and two Doctors who so shuffled together each his own Cards that they easily made one pack And wel might they both shuffle pack cut and deale when no answer was permitted to be published But for all that my Babel no Bethel remains intire and unshaken by any of their breaths saving that some of their black mouths laboured to besmeare me with their proud scorne And for so writing against the Church of Rome as no true Church of Christ and because such kind of Bookes were printed without licence when none could be obtained I was brought the first and second time into the High Commission whence I had not escaped without cindging at least to make me smell of it ever after if not stigmatising either in my name or purse had I not come in time to procure a Prohibition in the Court of Justice before the doore was shut which was not long after the Bishop having a little before my Prohibition threatned in open Court that whosoever after that of Mr. Pryns then tendered should be the next which fell to my lot to dare to bring a Prohibition there he would set him fast by the heeles But instead of setting me by the heeles he hung me up by the head for the next morning after that my Prohibition was tendered in Court whereat the whole
back for my friend to follow the Bishop at that very instant changed his note and began to speak me as faire as possibly could be whereupon I came towards him againe saying withâ—n my selfe that if he spake reason I would heare him Nor was I at any time before him but methought I stood over him as a School-master over his School-boy So great was the goodnesse of God upon me Another time I being convented at a High-Commission Board at London-house about my fore-said Book Babel no Bethel Harsenet then Archbishop of Yorke having run himselfe out of breath with railing against me and my Book a speciall faculty wherein his Grace exceeded at length saying that I had dedicated my Book to the Parliament to incense them against the Higher Powers he meant the King then I answered No my Lord I am none of them that divide the King and Parliament but I pray God to unite them together At this he had never a word more to say For this was presently after that Parliament was broken up wherein the Petition of Right was signed so that he knew better who they were which at that time divided the King from the Parliament Well at the same time I must to prison and tendring bale London answered No for said he the King had given expresse charge that no baile should be taken for me Then my Lord said I I desire to know by what Law or Statute of the Land you doe imprison me if it be according to Law I humbly submit my selfe otherwise I doe here claime the right and priviledge of a subject according to the Petition of Right but nor Petition nor Right nor Law could keep me from prison To the Fleet I went where stepping in and saying to the Porter By your leave and he answering You are welcome Sir I thanked him saying that is some comfort yet But I found the comforts of my God there exceedingly it being the first time of my being a Prisoner saving that I was still and had beene a long time in the High Commission Bonds which restrained my liberty to the scantling of that tether But I hasten to the maine Battalion or pitcht battell with the Prelates and their prelaticall party For I more and more disliked their usurpations and tyrannicall Government with their attempts to set up Popery Therefore I purposely preached upon the second Chapter to the Colossians crying downe all will-worship and humane inventions in Gods service Hereupon I began in my practice as in my judgement to fall off from the ceremonies Only I watched for an occasion to try it out with them either by dint of Arguments or force of Law or by the King and his Counsell resolving of this that by this means I should either foile my adversaries though I had no great hope this way or at least which I was sure not to faile of discover the mystery of iniquity and the deceit of hypocrisie which like a white vaile they had cast over all their foule practices and false pretences being woven with the fine thread of solemne Protestations Declarations Proclamations and the like And this discovery I tooke to be of no small importance and consequence because I saw how every day they got ground in the hearts of simple and credulous people apt to beleeve their plausible pretences and pompous shewes of piety as if all they did were to maintain the Protestant Religion when under that specious colour the withered whore of Babylon came in maskd at the first till at length she began to shew her painted face in her Superstitions Altar-service and other garbs And as they laboured to undermine and overthrow the true Protestant Religion and in stead thereof to set up Popery so they did no lesse seeke to overthrow the Civill state with the good lawes thereof and just liberties of the subject and to introduce an arbitrary Government otherwise called Tyrany which taketh away every mans property in his owne goods and estate as plainly appeared by all their practices as in exacting of shipmoney which was to be perpetuall and sometimes twice imposed in one yeare upon some pretence of forraine enemies when we had cause to feare none but our home-bred traitours and other impositions with a thousand monopolies Of all which I being not a little sensible both as I was a poore servant of Christ and therefore bound to vindicate his cause against Antichristian men and also as a free borne subject of the kingdome as one who ever prized the just libertie of my birthright above this life it selfe I therefore thought how I might best acquit my duty both to God and to his Church and to my Country in defending the cause of both To this purpose on the fifth of Noxember 1636 being a day by Act of Parliament to be solemnized in an anniversary solemne thanksgiving for that great deliverance of King and Parliament from the Gunpowder-treason which Popish traytors conspired to have executed on that day 1625 I preached according to my custome two Sermons taking for my Text Prov. 24. 21 22. My sonne feare thou the Lord and the King and meddle not with them that are given to change For their calamity shall arise suddenly and who knoweth the ruine of them both But before I proceed to a further relation hereof let me tell you of a passage or two falling out but a little before my troubles The first was this A reverend godly Minister Mr Williamson of Kent having newly preached in my Church upon Acts 21. 13. and we having some private conference of his Text and Sermon I said to him in the close Well brother I must be an example hereof one day The other was of a strange dreame I had one night not many dayes before this day came I dreamed lodging then at a deare friends house in Stratford Bow neere London that I saw a most magnificent Pallace the like whereof I never saw upon the earth and therein a most glorious throne erected and in the throne Jesus Christ sitting in Majesty but all alone without any attendance of Angels or Saints about him only there lay all along before the throne a man dead with his feet towards Christ and his face upward the other way But after awhile the dead man was raised up and stood upon his feet looking towards the throne Whereupon immediately there appeared about the throne an innumerable company of glorious Angels and Saints exceedingly rejoycing and praising God for restoring life to that man This dreame I told in the morning to my wife and after that to my deare Christian friends in the house all yet surviving to whom I also made this interpretation that this dead man was the present Church of Christ which now lay for dead and none took the care of it but Christ alone but after awhile Christ would restore his Church to life and set her in a glorious estate as one raised from the dead to the state of glory and then all the
towards thy people yea the fire of thine enemies shall devoure them And this is the time foretold of old the time of the sixth Trumpet sounding forth woe against the Beast for slaying the two Witnesses after whose reviving againe there follows a great earthquake after which followeth the destruction of the Beasts Kingdome under the sounding of the seventh Trumpet when the Kingdomes of this world are become the Kingdomes of our Lord and of his Christ and he shall reigne for ever and ever And this is the time wherein the battell of God Almighty is fought in Harmageddon under the pouring out of the Plagues of the sixth Viall upon the Beast Now is Michael and his Angels fighting against the Dragon and his Angels Now is the Lambe and his party the called and chosen and faithfull fighting with the Beast and his party Now is the Holy City begirt with the Forces of Gog and Magog open and secret enemie whom fire from heaven consumeth even the zeale of God and of his people And the Deliverance of the Church shall be the more miraculous because it is wrought by the mighty hand of God through many troubles and dâ—fficulties which Gods people must passe through as through a sea before they arrive on their wished shore And this I apprehend to be signified by the manner of the going away of the forementioned miraculous Rainbow which manner was no lesse miraculous then the Rainbow it selfe For it went away and so vanished at length not as other Rainbowes by peece-meale as the cloud wherein it subsisteth doth waste away but it passed away whole and entire all along upon the sea as farre as I could see and towards England it went as if Gods Church in England especially should have a miraculous deliverance through a sea of troubles And the expectation hereof yeelds me no small supportation in the midst of these tumultuous times and dubious events assuring my selfe that he which gave the Rainbow such a subsistence without any cloud will also performe and accomplish the thing whereof it was sent to be a signe even the glorious deliverance of his Church how unlikely or defective soever the meanes be Yea shall I adde one circumstance more When the same day at night I went to write this downe in mine Almanack for remembrance I found that this day was the very day of the month wherein I was married which I had not observed before to be that day Hereupon I began to apprehend that surely this was a signe as of the Churches deliverance so of mine also therein For mine own particular deliverance I made no account of unlesse I might enjoy it as a part of the Generall Deliverance of Gods people as I professed to many at my returne home when I began to enjoy my deliverance as a part of the publike which I made as sure a rekoning of as if then already fully accomplished But at length to winde up so much of the thread of my life which was spun out in that my closse imprisonment and banishment let me acquaint the Reader with those speciall cordialls which were to me more sweet then my daily food I had ever been from my youth up much acquainted with Davids Psalmes in my private devotions as wherein I ever found greatest sweetnesse and solace to my poore soule which as they afforded more matter of comfort to me as my life had been all along much exercised with affliction so most of all in my prison and exile And although the Psalmes have all of them their severall excellencies yet among the rest I had from my very youth made choice of one Psalme especially as which I was extraordinarily affected with in that I could both most clearely read the generall estate of my life past and present as also both feelingly pray for and confidently wait for those promises and comforts which were therein presented to the eye of my faith and which afterwards I began in my latter sufferings in a great measure to enjoy which after my returne from exile seemed to have a more full accomplishment As for the purpose to omitt many other passages of the Psalmes which I leave to the readers judgement and consideration how farre forth they are remarkably applyable to the severall conditions of my life if well weighed not only in my last and greatest sufferings I found answers of God to all those prayers in that Psalme which I had often prayed in supporting me and being my strong refuge v. 7. even then when I was as on the pillary a wonder unto many when also v. 8. my mouth was filled with his praise and honour all the day when in the time of old age v. 9. I was cast off and even out of the world in a manner so as the enemies said God hath forsaken him persecute him and take him for there is none to deliver him v. 11. yet the Lord did not cast me off he forsooke me not And v. 30. how was that fulfilled at my returne Thou which hast shewed me great and sore troubles thoushalt quicken me again and shalt bring me up againe from the depths of the earth And v. 21. â—ow began God now to increase my greatnesse and comfort me on every side And after this of which more anon I found that also verified v. 18. Now also when I am old and gray-headed O God forsake me not untill I have shewed thy strength unto this generation and thypower to every one that is to come which here is done in part in this support of Gods strength and power in carrying me a weake man through so many and great troubles to his eternall praise and glory And besides all this what mighty confusions have I since seen upon those enemies against whom the Psalmist prayeth v. 13. Not to mention more all being so notoriously knowne let me tell you one passage I being with some friends walking in the Tower where we were invited to see the Artillery one came and told me that the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury my grand adversary as he was going along to the Chappell to doe his devotions was met by one who told him that I was hard by in the Tower whereupon the Prelate presently returned hasting to his lodging least it seemes I should meet with him who now not brooking to see my face and eares defaced how shall he look Iesus Christ in the face whom he hath pierced when he shall come to Iudgement in flaming fire rendring veugeance to all miscreants This in briefe of this Psalme wherein it hath pleased God to give me such an interest through Christ in whom all those sweet promises have so full an accomplishment In a word infinite were the supports and comforts which I received by the Psalmes As Psal. 40. wherein it is spoken of Christ and of David v. 10 I have not hid thy righteousnesse within my heart I have declared thy faithfullnesse and thy salvation I have not concealed thy loving
kindnesse and thy truth from the great congregation this I could in the integrity of my conscience being not privy of baulking any truth in my ministry which was forbidden by the Prelates so farre apply to my selfe as that I could with the greater confidence take up the words immediately following v. 11. Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me O Lord let thy loving kindnesse and thy truth continually preserve me c. As I remember how a little before my last troubles Mr. Walker my reverend and learned brother being convented and admonished by Dr. Lambe to preach no more of the Sabbath and he being thereupon {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} halfe perswaded to it I told him Brother Walker if you yeild herein be assured they will some time or other get you in their snare and when they have you in prison what comfort will you find when your conscience shall check you that for feare of man you forbeare freely and fully to declare the truth of God and most of all then when it was most opposed and oppressed And not long after my going into banishment they catched him indeed and put him in prison where I doubt not but he found comfort from God according to my words which he had upon that occasion followed Againe I was mightily supported by those words Psal. 66. 10. 111. 12. For thou O God hast proved us thou hast tryed us as silver is tried Thou broughtest us into the net Thou laidst affliction upon our loines Thou hast caused men to ride over our heads we went through fire and through water but Thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place Which wotds afforded me two great props to support me The one that God was the sole author of all those my troubles as wherein no miscariage of mine had given any the least just offence to those men who forcibly drove me yet witting and willing into their net where they rode upon my head The other was that as I saw the Lords hand leading me through the fire as on the pillary where the sun did extreamly beat upon my head and through the water passing through the seas as aforesaid so I did verily assure my selfe that the same hand would deliver and bring me into a wealthy place According also to that promise Isa. 43. â— Yea when in my close prison and exile I was as an owle in the desart or as asparrow that sits alone upon the house top yea as one free among the dead Psal. 88. 5. like the slaine that lye in the grave yet this was my comfort that I could say Thou O Lord hast layd me in the lowest pit in darknesse in the deeps v. 6. lover and friend hast thou put from me and mine acquaintance into darknesse All contented me well because the Lord had done all these things to me and that not in his wrath and displeasure against me as Dâ—vid there complaineth but in his loving kindnesse and favour in his free grace calling and enabling me to suffer soe great things for his name sake In a word I did now and then in my prison exercise my selfe with preaching to my selfe upon some text of Scripture both for my present strengthening and comfort and also to keep me from rust in case it might please God to call me forth to preach againe in the great congregation Hereunto if it be not tedious to the Reader I might adde a briefe narration of many other helps and supports which I found throughout all my sufferings as also throughout the whole course of my life As first Prayer This never failed me at any time and in greatest distresse it had most speedy and speeding answers What blessings hath it obtained for me What victories over strong and masterfull corruptions lusts temptations snares How often thereby Satan foiled and sinne prevented How my spirits supported in all my sufferings I could here tell of many wonderfull returnes of prayer in the many passages of my life and particularly concerning Gods Providence in disposing of me in marriage wherein his goodnesse marvelously appeared partly by preventing some and chiefely by providing successively two fit matches for me who proved notable helps to me both in my ministry and in my sufferings being both of them lovers and valiant for the truth And the second yet surviving can relate how miraculously Prayer brought us first together O the excellent use of Prayer to all the purposes of this life whether spirituall or temporall It is the most effectuall sollicitor of all our causes having such an Advocate at Gods right hand My second help in my sufferings was the testimony of my conscience which stood in these particulars First A sure beliefe that all my sins were forgiven and washed away in the blood of Iesus Christ Secondly An infallible knowledge that theÌ„ cause for which I thus suffered was a most noble holy righteous and innocent cause as being the cause of Christ of his Gospel of his Church yea and of the whole Land my native Countrey which cause I was not only as a Christian but much more as a professed witnesse of Christ bound to maintaine even to the losse of all things in the world Thirdly the testimony of my conscience sealed by my record from on high that my continuall opposition in the course of my ministry both by preaching and writing against the adversaries of the truth was out of no other respect as either of an humour of contradiction or ambition or vaine glory or affectation of singularity or of malice to any mans person or out of any discontentednesse with my present condition as some have faflly and causlesly slaundered me the Lord having beene so farre good unto me as to set me farre above all such base lusts though I wanted not my corruptions not to prevaile over me but meerely out of the conscience of my duty in zeale to Gods glory and love to his truth and service to Christ and to his Church There are sundry Ministers yet living in London who can witnesse that I was not ambitious to shew my self alone in the cause when my frequent sollicitations of them could not prevaile to have more fellowes to share with me And fourthly not to recount more particulars in that God hath given me these three comforts more First that before my last Censure as aforesaid I owed not a penny to any man it having ever beene hatefull unto me to owe any thing to any man but love which love I am daily paying while daily praying for all Secondly that in this respect I can say with the Apostle I am free from the blood of all men having kept nothing back that I knew necessary and profitable but delivered though in great weaknesse the whole Counsell of God even against all opposition of men in their expresse edicts armed with terrours and threatnings to the contrary Thirdly although from my youth up I have not beene free from many humanefrailties
the present and afterwards in the time of healing much more painfull then the chopping off of the head with one stroke Thirtenthly As God indued Paul with an excellent spirit to undergoe and overcome all his affliction with a singular alacrity and constancy so as he sung Psalmes in the prison and accounted his life and all outward things but as dung in comparison of Christ so the same God poured into my soule abundantly the like spirit of fortitude and magnanimity not only cheerfully and constantly but even triumphantly to be more then conqueror in all my sufferings as also the Apostle said of himselfe 2. Cor. 2. 14. and Rom. 4. 37. Besides all this First Paul was never haunted hunted and vexed by Pursuivants as I have been Secondly Paul was never bound in bonds of two or three hundred pounds to answer the High Priests in their synedrion as I have been in the high Commission Court Thirdly Paul when he was a prisoner and that under Nero yet had liberty to visit his friends and acquaintance and they to come and visit him but I was shut up in a close prison where neither my selfe could visit others nor they me Fourthly Paul had his fellow prisoners with him to be mutuall comforters but I was shut up all alone without a fellow or compainon Fifthly Paul was never fined in more then he was worth but I was Sixthly Paul was never deemed to more punishments then one at once but I to many and those most griveous punishments and that contrary to the law of the Medes and Persians Ezra 7. 26. Seventhly Paul was not condemned before the hearing of his cause nor himselfe condemned for refusing to assent to the condemning of his own cause before hearing but both I and my cause were thus condemned contrary to the law of the land and of all nations Eightly It was lawfullfor Paul to have carried about with him a sister a wife if he had had one but I having an honest godly most loving and tender hearted woman to my wife was not suffered to have her with me according to Gods Ordinance for our mutuall comfort and support in our great affliction but wee were violently separated one from the other without any the least colour of cause Ninthly Paul was suffered to write to his friends and to those his children whom he had begotten by the Gospel and to those Churches which he had planted but I was not permitted the use of pen inke and paper so much as to write to my friends or to my disconsolate wife or my poore orphan-children whom God had given to me in lawfull wedlock Tenthly Paul never was banished from his native country but I was and that extrajudicially sent into perpetuall banishment Eleventhly Paul though a prisoner yet was not forbid to preach but exercised his ministry in the prison to all that came unto him but my mouth was by Decree for ever stopped which one affliction was to me as in it selfe so heavy as is sufficient to counter-ballance all Pauls afflictions Twelfthly Nor did Paul live to know experimentally those sufferings which Antichrist foretold of by him should both craftily invent and cruelly inflict upon Gods servants in these last times which my selfe have now lived both to see and suffer Antichrist was then but a cockatrice in the egge but now he is broke out and growne to be a great red dragon Thirteenthly Paul once by pleading the priviledge of a Roman escaped the whip but I though once by pleading the benefit of a subject I obtained which yet cost me ten pounds a Prohibition whereby I was delivered from a double lash of the High Commission yet the next day after as aforesaid I fell under the Prelates lash who suspended me from my ministry for preaching the truth for the which truths sake I have also suffered all these things Finally Fourteenthly Pauls Judges would not condemne him for the bare accusation of his adversaries saying It was not the manner of the Romans to condemne any man before that he which is accused have the accusers face to face and have licence to answer for himselfe concerning the crime layed against him but I though I had permission by the Court to make my defence in writing and at the censure to speake for my selfe yet all was as nothing but without either accusers or witnesses saving only a counterfet information in Court charging many things but proving nothing but serving only for a snare which innocency it selfe could not escape I underwent the most terrible Censure that ever was inflicted in the world But though I underwent it yet through the power of Christ I overcame it To him alone be all the glory and praise of a suffering which only his power and grace made so great so glorious After aâ—l this let me a little recreate my Reader with a smale story of a passage falling out while I was in Guernsey Castle On a time a pigeon sitting neere my chamber window where my daily feeding of them made them so familiar as they would follow me up and downe the Castle a wild hauke suddenly plunged upon her and beats her downe to the ground above four stories and falls a preying on her I beheld it a while from my window and presently thereupon ran downe to rescue the dove though I was to run above a flight shot off I ran and sound the hauke still upon the pigeon and when I was ready to cease on the hauke she flew off and then the poore Pigeon took her faint flight also the bold hauke pursuing her about the Castle but the dove escaped for any thing I could heare This use I made of it I compared the Dove to the Church and the Hauke to the enemies of it hoping that though for a time the Hauke get the Dove under to pâ—ey upon her yet deliverance shall come in the nick in the Mount will the Lord be seene and the Church shall escape but hardly but whether by flight as Revel. 12. or otherwise that rests only in our Great Deliverers hand This by the way But now it is high time to close it up For November 15. 1640. being the Lords day a Bark comes to Guernsey from England with friends and an Order from the Honourable House of Commons for my enlargement and returne for England Blessed tidings indeed and the more because it came from a Parliament and yet more in that it was the Parliaments handsaile presenting much good but promising much more The Newes filled the Castle with joy and so the Iland The first observation I made of it was of the day on which this tydings came First I noted it was the Lords day which day I had mightily propugned and defended both by preaching and writing against the malignant and profane adversaries of the sanctification thereof and of its morality And when the book for dispensation and allowance of sports on that day came with an injunction to be publikely
my brother Bastwick being not yet returned from Sillie We presented our persons with our petitions to the House for the hearing of our cause It was granted a speciall Committe was appointed for the examination of our cause and in the same Order of the House to the same Committe a thing wherein the hand of divine Providence is not a little seene it was ordered that after the examination of our causes the Courts and proceedings both of the High Commission and starre chamber should be examined and the issue was our cause was declared and voted first by the Committee and after by the whole House to be innocent and all the proceedings of those Courts against us illegall against the lawes of the land and the liberties of the subject and on the other side both those Courts were alike voted to bee illegall and thereupon an Act was drawne up and passed and stands now in force for the utter abolishing of both those Courts So they are brought downe and fallen and we are risen and stand upright And blessed be the Lord that both those Courts fell under such a Cause as gives them no just cause to complaine But for our cause although the honourable House of Commons have voted it so farre for the clearing of us as it can yet goe yet the Transmission thereof to the House of Lords is not hitherto passed for a recompence of our wrongs sustained But herein we are patients with the whole land which lyes a bleeding while the cause of innocent blood cannot find redresse Yet blessed be God that by vertue of that vote I have liberty to preach although I have suffered not a little for that first Sermon I preached after my liberty obtained as my first-fruits paid to the Parliament at Westminster Clamors were raised by some malignant spirits and received too credulously by some of the better minded who had not heard the Sermon which the more grieved me But how justly fame did censure me the Sermon it selfe if once it may obtaine licence to be printed which it hath a long time waited for will clearly show Many other wrongs have I suffered both by false reports and by bookes published under the name of Mr. Burton in generall which the simple hearted people took to be mine being only counterfeited to get away their farthings But the righteous judge will one day cleare all When the next day after that Sermon I was taken with a fit of the stone the first sensible fruit of my long close imprisonment fame gave it out that it was for griefe and shame of my said Sermon Though after this I have had sundry fits of the stone I might mention many other reproaches cast upon me since my enlargement which I have learned the more easily to digest and contemne saving only that I take them as messengers of Satan sent to buffet me by my experience in my greater sufferings He that hath stood an innocent upon the pillary and theâ—e had his eares cut off which he endured with not only patience but alacrity and triumph cannot he trow you brook to be unjustly branded for an Infamous person and that by such as were the prime authors of such bloody and barbarous cruelty but he must needs be sick for sorrow of that which he accounts his glory and crowne Or shall such a one be ashamed to beare in his body such glorio is marks of the Lord Jesus Or he that chose rather to be deprived of all liberty livelyhood eares credit with the malignant world degrees in schooles yea his sweet native country wife children friends all outward comforts rather then betray the cause of Christ and basely yeild to unreasonable and absurd men after the suffering of all these is it so easie a matter thinke you to overthrow such a one with the impotent breath of a man that shall dye or of the son of man that shall be made as grasse should I now at last so forget the Lord my maker as to feare continnually every day because of the fury of the oppressor as if he were ready to destroy of whom the Prophet saith And where is the fury of the Oppressor Behold my witnesse is in Heaven and my Record is on high And certainly if witnessing the Truth against Falshood and openly detecting the machinations of Apostats if ever they were other then dissembling Hypocrites before their vizards were pulld off deserve the brand of An infamous disturber of the peace of this Church and State I will weare it as a badge of the greatest honour of my service to Christ in this World And I blesse my Lord who accounted me faithfull and put me in this service and enabled me so therein as to deserve to be reproached no otherwise then the Prophet Eliah was by the grand disturber and troubler of Israel to whom the Prophet replyed I have not troubled Israel but thou and thy fathers house in that ye have forsaken the Commandements of the Lord and have followed Baalim And if by This Church be understood the Prelaticall or Hierarchicall and by State a Tyrannicall and lawlesse Government I heartily thank God that I have bin a disturber of these so as never since that time they could peacably go on as before they did in their rebuilding of Babel the end wherof wil be confusion or in reedifying of Jerico the curse wherof was the rooting out of the whole race and posterity of the Rebuilder What should I speake of the many reproaches and infamies which I have undergone since the cleering of my Cause in the honorable House of Commons ever to be honoured of all posterity But this was my comfort all along even the clearnesse of my Conscience being not guilty to my selfe of any just cause by me given why any unlesse Prelaticall and Iesuiticall spirits or such as are through ignorance seduced by them should fall so fowle upon me saving that the more any man endeavors to come neerest to Christ and so to shake off the shackles of sinne and yoake of Antichristian usurpation over the soules of men the more necessarily and unavoidably he must passe the pikes of all those whose conversation in the world cannot find elbow-room enough to walke in Christs narrow way which leadeth unto life Nor need this be made a wonder in our dayes which hath bin the perpetuall practise of the world in all ages since Christ had a Church upon earth since the Lord himselfe put that enmity between the Serpent and the Woman and between her seed and his yea in this Age of ours wherein Satans wrath is so great because he knoweth that he hath but a short time and wherein the ten horned Beast and his limmes are fighting their last battell in Harmageddon whither the Almighty himself brings them that he might shew himselfe to be the Almighty in giving the last and most terrible defeat to all their power and plots not to see such
holy Angels and Saints should rejoyce and sing Halelujahs to him that sits upon the Throne And this I told them should most certainly come to passe and that shortly so as they should live to see it And so being to goe to London that morning I took my leave thereupon saying Well what ever come on it I must to my work And this work proved to be that aforesaid Nov. 5. When having preached those Sermons I was not long after summoned by a Pursuivant into the English Inquisition Court the High Commission from which I presently appealed to the King And because I foresaw that this would prove a publick cause and putting no confidence either in my Appeale or in the equity and innocency of my cause or in the just lawes of the Kingdome being fallen into such times wherein nor law nor conscience nor innocency nor justice nor clemency nor humanity could take place but that some unjust odious censure must stigmatize both the cause and the person therefore I shut my selfe up in my house as in my prison and there did compile my two said Sermons with my Appeale in one Book to the end it might be published in print as it was sheet by sheet as I writ it the while the Prelates Pursuivants those barking Beagles ceased not night nor day to watch and rap and ring at my doores to have surprised me in that my Castle nor yet to search and hunt all the Printing houses about London to have prevented the comming forth of my Book which they heard to be at the Presse But God by his good providence so prevented them as neither they could touch my person before I had finished my Book nor yet prevent the publishing thereof for all their unwearied search And here I may not omit to magnifie the great Name of God especially for two things First for his admirable strengthning and supporting presence in so carrying up my spirit all the while of my writing that Book entituled For God and the King together with the Appeale c. that not all the incessant roarings and ballings of those beagles could either interrupt my work or distract my thoughts or discourage my resolution by any the least apprehension or feare of danger but that with all cheerfulnesse and invinciblenesse of spirit the work was finished Secondly the Lords wonderfull Providence is here to be admired in that the Pursuivants had no power either to apprehend my person or to prevent the publishing of my Book but just that night when I had received some dozens of Copies bound up and the Books for the King and Councell were a binding up and nor sooner nor later having also newly concluded the Family-duties for that night came the Serjeant at Armes with his Mace in the Bishop of Londons name accompanied with divers Pursuivants and other Officers yea with the Sheriffe of London with swords and halberds and with pick-axes fell a breaking up my doores which being strong and I making no resistance held them work till eleven of the Clock They break in surprise my person ransack my study carry away what Books they pleased and carry me away prisoner to a Constables house for that night and the next day at night being Febr. 2. they had got a new warrant from the Councell Board to carry me to prison in the Fleet where I was kept close prisoner from wife or friend and so remained for halfe a yeare till I was removed to another prison as you shall heare anon During my abode in the Fleet I was served with a Writ into the Starre Chamber to answer an information there against me drawn up by the Kings Atturney in the Name of the King notwithstanding my said Appeale not yet repealed But all is one for that With much difficulty being all along close prisoner I get my Answer drawne up by Counsell and the same by speciall Order of Starre-Chamber admitted in Court upon my Oath to be a true Answer Above a week after I heare that the two Chiefe Justices by appointment of the Court have quite expunged my Answer and defence contained in 80 sheets leaving only the negative part and that also of their owne patching together contained in some halfe a dozen lines Thus my Answer in Court is left no Answer of mine After this comes the Examiner for my Answer to his interrogatories which was to be reckoned part of my Answer in Court But I answered him that my Answer in Court being wholly expunged and so made no Answer of mine I was not bound to answer the interrogatories Hereupon I was brought into the Starre-Chamber to be censured by all those terrible ones pro confesso as having refused to put in my Answer when indeed themselves had put it our What I then spake for my selfe by leave of the Court which had already the day before set downe my Censure in black and white and what the Censure was and by whom I referre to the Relation of all the passages of our three sufferings set forth at large in Print 1641. Only thus much when I saw that they would proceed to censure notwithstanding they did not nor could object the least crime in all my Book For God and the King but that they said I was too sharp against the Prelates having obtained leave to speak I said My Lords I perceive I am brought into a great strait that of necessity I must either desert my cause and my conscience or undergoe the Censure of this Honourable Court and therefore I doe without any further deliberation choose rather to abide the Censure of this Honourable Court then to desert my Cause my conscience Here at the Audience gave a great humme But when they came to the censure it was so terrible especially the perpetuall close imprisonment in a desolate goale that lest my spirits should faint within me I did there earnestly in my heart entreat the Lord that he would strengthen me and hold up my spirits that I might not any way dishonour the cause or give those terrible ones cause to triumph And at that very instant the Lord heard me he put such strength in me as neither my selfe nor my two Brethren did once change countenance before those terrible ones so as some of them afterwards said that they never saw three such men who instead of being daunted so stood before the Court as if they had sit in the Judges place And forasmuch as the night before a friend came to me in the Fleet and told me he saw my Censure set down in their Book as standing on the Pillory c. I did therefore that night * redouble my prayer to God that he would strengthen me at my Censure so as I might not dishonour him and his Cause the next day before that great Court And immediately upon my prayer I was filled with a mighty spirit of courage and resolution wherewith I was carried up farre above my selfe even as it were upon
Eagles wings And hereupon again I prayed intreating the Lord that he would be pleased to keep up my spirits at that height to the which he had now raised them the answer of which Prayer I found not only all the next day of my Censure but throughout all my sufferings which that Censure produced After the Censure which was Deprivation Degradation standing on the Pillary two houres losse of both eares by the hangman five thousand pound fine to the King perpetuall close imprisonment in the Castle of Lancaster restraint of all use of pen inke and paper I was brought back to my close prison in the Fleet June 14. 1647. where I waited till the day of Execution which was the last day of June In the interim my wife with Mr. Bastwicke plyed the King with their pittifull complaining Petitions and deprecations for the taking off or at least the mitigating of the execution but a little before the day came a voyce was heard in the Starre-Chamber uttered by the Atturney-Generall That it was the Kings pleasure the Censure of those 3. men should be executed to the uttermost So as the execution proved to be as void of Mercy as the Censure was of Justice The night before the Execution I did as before the Censure addresse my selfe by earnest prayer for divine support in the acting of that Tragedy upon the scaffold of publick reproach Filled I was with exceeding alacrity of truly Heroicall and Christianly magnanimous resolution My two supporters next under God were the noblenesse and pure innocency of the Cause and the uprightnesse and integrity of my conscience With these I went on foot the next morning from the Fleet to the place of Execution at Westminster farre better guarded then with those many halberds and weapons that attended me My wife had the favour to goe all along with me going together with this equipage as to the celebration of our marriage When I came in sight of the Pillary my spirit was mightily cheered and my heart raised up to a higher pitch of joy I said to one a little before my going up to the Pillary I shall this day preach downe Antichrist in the Pillary And say nothing replyed he yea said I and say nothing This was omitted in the Relation forementioned All the while I stood in the Pillary I thought my selfe to be in Heaven and in a state of glory and triumph if any such state can possibly be on earth I found those words of Peter uerified on me in the Pillary If ye be reproached for the Name of Christ happy are ye for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you which on their part is blasphemed but on yours glorified For my rejoycing and glorying was so great all the while without intermission in the Pillary that I can no more expresse it then Paul could his ravishments in the third heaven so as I could best and most truly say Amen to those words of a godly woman going along in the troope neere Charing Crosse at my returne from banishment to London which God was also pleased to cloth with so great glory she said to me O Sir this is a glorious wedding day to whom I replied It is indeed blessed be God I said she but your wedding day on the Pillary was much more glorious I admiring the womans speech answerd It is indeed most true good woman blessed be our God After the execution I was carried againe the same day to my Fleet-prison where mine eares after the Chirurgions bloodletting were a healing till towards the end of July when before they were quite healed I was hastened away to Lancaster July 28. having said the night before to a religious Matron of London visiting of me I must now said I prepare for my exile not thinking then of any further exile then Lancaster Castle being an exile in mine owne Countrey On the day appointed I passed on horseback from the Fleet through Smithfield where for throng of people all along I could not passe but very slowly though the Keeper hastened all he could who fretted to see so many thousands all the way we went he reckoning the number to be forty thousand By the way so many taking me by the hand pressed the very blood out at my fingers ends but with another minde then the great ones drew the blood out at mine eares I rid to S. Albons that night being accompanied all the way with above five hundred horse of loving friends which the Keeper also much envyed Many staid there all night but were not suffered to sup with me no nor to see my face Nay the Keeper was so strict that he would scarce suffer my wife who went along to dresse mine eares Comming to Daventry it exceedingly refreshed me that I had the sight and a little society of that holy and reverend Father Mr John Dod who came two or three miles off to see me as also his effectuall servant prayer for me and my wife calling me his sonne and her his daughter At Coventry two worthy and reverend brethren Mr Nalton and Mr Hughes with their wives came also to salute me and bid me farewell In our short discourse they rejoycing and congratulating Gods gracious and mighty assisting of me in my suffering and my happinesse therein I answered I have cause to blesse God more for this suffering then for all outward blessings in the world and I account this to be one great part of my happinesse that I have now cast off that yoke of the Prelates under which I had so long groaned but I promise you said I it did cling and cleave so close to my neck that I could not shift it off but that it shaved off mine eares And when at our parting they were very sad I laboured to comfort them saying Come be not sad for three yeares and a halfe hence we shall meet againe and be merry which I spake alluding to the three dayes and a halfe the time of the two witnesses lying unburied of which speech we shall have occasion to speak more anon There also one of those godly women saying unto me O sir you are in a happy estate you are past all danger and sure of Heaven but for us what shall we doe I replyed that the assurance of Heaven cannot secure us from manifold temptations and afflictions and snares of Satan so long as we live in these houses of clay And therefore we have need continually to stand upon our watch and ward and to pray one for another having so malicious and unwearied an Adversary whom neither close imprisonment nor Iron Gates and Barres can hinder from assaulting us On the 3. of August being sacurday we came to Lancaster and on the 5. being Monday the Keeper brought me into the Castle where the Keeper thereof under the Sheriffe received me There he sitting in John of Gaunts old Chaire fell to speak his pleasure of me and to censure me for what