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lord_n day_n night_n time_n 11,545 5 3.7585 3 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A35356 Culmers crown crackt with his own looking-glass, or, The Cocks-combs looking-glasse broken about his ears and a counter-mirror held forth to all good people, for their undeceiving in the pretended sufferings of that pseudo-martyr, and grand imposter of this age, Blew Dick of Thanet : reflecting from certain pertinent observations upon an impertinent, false and frivolous Apology of his ascribed to his more ingenuous son, but scribed by his most ignominious self : wherein especially all the world may see the ugly face of that prodigious monster ... Philo-katoptrono-klastes. 1657 (1657) Wing C7483; ESTC R32392 11,039 21

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where following his Barn more then his Book his Tith on the week-day closer then his Text on the Lords he hath not time enough in the day but borrows a part of a Moon-light night the more proper season for a deed of darkness and wherein whilst true men sleep thieves and robbers play their pranks to steal up into the Steeple Set by the D. on a Pinnacle of the Temple p. 14. and being by that Prince of darkness the Devils help placed on the Pinnacle of it he soon rewards him for his pains by casting down not the Parish true eye-sore himself but that Devillish eye-sore the Church and Christians ancient badge and banner the Cross 8. Now could the Parish have been as soon to rid of their Cross which but that you would think I meant himself I would call a worse the Bells to which we are now making should not I conceive have been so speechless as it seems they were p. 27. when but for his Wives great iron pestle Thumping the clapperless Bels with his P. he means as Fools have good tooles his own great swinging pisle they had been as mure and silent there as the good people endeavoured to make him be below when they put him to get in like a thief as he was by a shitten window and rewarded some of his very little flock with a foul stile without and others with a filthy pew within and yet what say they good enough for such as could find in their hearts to go a calving and lend their ears to such a bleating Bell-weather such a mercenary Balaam as he where ere he comes is held no better and particularly with his very testimonialists at Canterbury p. 8. who long ere this finding themselves mistaken in countenancing a ravenous Wolfe under a sheeps skin are no less ashamed of him then he is proud of them wishing many of them they had not so much cause with just regret to say Litera scripta manet 9. VVell but to Canterbury we have brought him where for a while we shall leave him Preaching to the walls playing the Pulpiteer but preaching as at home in a manner to those walls which can hardly hold any auditors but such as are surprized by being not aware of his turn the people there generally abhorring such an accursed instrument of the barbarous spoyle and beastly profanation of that most incomparable ornament of the place and Nation their once flourishing now thank the Devil and Dick fading Dick a plum-porridge Priest falling Cathedral and watching an opportunity for a full revenge upon that impious Herostratus no marvel if he found it better playing the Plum-porridge Priest p. 30. and filling his panch as he did with a first and second mess of good stew'd-broth and a Nativity-pye in Mr. Philips Parlor on a Christmas-day p. 29. without the least scandal or scruple of conscience upon the account of superstition nay with thanks and approbation as in terminis very seasonable fare then adventuring his person among the inraged Christmas-men who perhaps might have thoughts of such suitable wages for his not forgotten though unrewarded impious Church-work not to be expiated by his many vaunted good-works p. 30. as that kind of advancement he speaks of but with a shorter ladder I believe then served his turn there and a rope not so misplac't as then 10. Playing the Otter Thus indeed they had saved his pains in swimming and diving as shortly after to get to Sandwich p. 31 32. from whence acted and affrighted as much if not more by that Nemesis à tergo his own guilt then others malice he trots to Deale where we must imagine him taking Sanctuary in his Cosen Culmers chimney corner Preaching in a chimney corner and there entertaining mine Host and his family with a Winters tale or a Tragickcomaedy of his hard but happy escape as lately from the Gallows so now from the Billows from hanging at one time and drowning at another and in a woful manner recounting a deal of other such pittiful stuff and stories of his heavy persecutions as set his tender-hearted Host a weeping until at length out comes the tale of a Turd the beshitten stile and pew when presently the scene alters the Heraclitus turns Democritus mine Host now laughs as heartily as he wept before and doubtless becomes a suter to his guest for the honour of their name and family by some godly book or ballad to give the world an account as now he hath done in his Martyrological Apology of all his sad disasters and wounderful deliverances The contents of which rare Master-piece especially in the 29 page as it makes me call to mind the story of A-JAX so that part of it considered and compared with the precedent full of lamentable and tragical tales hardly to be read by any but Stoicks or stocks with dry eyes puts me also in mind of such another Preacher as the Author the famous Scogan Scogans Ape who with his forrowful face set one part of his Auditory on weeping and with his open A at the same instant set the other on laughing 11. But to return to our Pilgrim who to case the Land a while of her unprofitable burthen puts to Sea and safely gets to London p. 32. whither if we follow him we may finde him after a sad rehearsal Sermon of his many sufferings for the cause wherein he speaks righter then he is aware having ever given a very just cause for all his sufferings Pratling at Berdmondsey and a use of exhortation to the Brethren at Berdmondsey to pitty his case but especially to resent the foul abuse and beastly offront offered to a neighbour of theirs a London Dame p. 29. to the spoyling of her sattin peticoat and her devotion to boot whereof he gave them such a sweet relation as would not out of their nostrils a good while after he takes his leave of them to go tell the same story decies repetita placebit to the Army under whose protection he makes a cowardly retreat by the way of Wy Railing on the living and rashly censuring the dead p. 32. where as his manner is throughout the whole Pamphlet or rather Pasquil being stuff'd with nothing more then base invectives on the living and bitter censures on the dead all whose sufferings as if of the Cabinet counsel with God himself he ascribes to a just judgement from that divine hand upon them for persecuting such a darling of Heaven as he by his false Looking-glass endeavours to appear he so insults over a dead Lion a valiant but unfortunate Gentleman that I cannot but wonder at the surviving brother that with patience and silence he can put up and passe over so great an indignity offered to his brothers memory how he can forbear to cast stones at his pate that shall thus cast dirt in his brothers face De mortuis nil nisi bona an impiety abhorred even of Heathens