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A41077 Batavia, or, The Hollander displayed in brief characters & observations of the people & country, the government of their state & private families, their virtues and vices : also, A perfect description of the people & country of Scotland.; Brief character of the Low-Countries under the states Felltham, Owen, 1602?-1668.; Weldon, Anthony, Sir, d. 1649? Perfect description of the people and countrey of Scotland. 1672 (1672) Wing F647; ESTC R13602 23,207 94

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cakes would make them long-winded and the children of the Chappel they have brought to eat of them for the maintenance of their voices They say our Cooks are too sawcy and for Grooms and Coachmen they wish them to give to their Horses no worse then they eat themselves they commend the brave mind of the Pensioners and the Gentlemen of the Bed-Chambers which choose rather to go to Taverns then to be always eating of the Kings provision they likewise do commend the Yeomen of the Buttery and Cellar for their readiness and silence in that they will hear 20 knocks before they will answer one They perswade the Trumpeters that fasting is good for men of that quality for emptiness they say causes winde and winde causes a Trumpet to sound well The bringing of Heralds they say was a needless charge they all know their pedigrees wel enough and the Harbingers might have been spared s●●he●ce they brought so many beds with them and of two evils since the least should be chosen They wish the beds might remain with them and poor Harbingers keep their places and do their office as they return His Hangings they desire might likewise be left as Reliquos to put them in mind of His Majesty and they promise to dispense with the wooden Images but for those graven Images in his new beautified Chappel they threaten to pull down soon after his departure and to make of them a burnt offering to appease the indignation they imagined conceived against them in the Brest of the Almighty for suffering such idolatry to enter into their Kingdom The Organ I think will find mercy because as they say there is some affinity between them and the Bag pipes The Skipper that brought the singing men with their Papistical Vestments complains that he hath been much troubled with a strange singing in his head ever since they came aboard his ship For remedy whereof the Parson of the Parish hath perswaded him to fell that prophane Vessel and to distribute the money among the faithful Brethren For his Majesties entertainment I must needs ingeniously confess he was received into the Parish of Edinburgh for a City I cannot call it with great shouts of joy but no shews of charg for Pageants they hold them idolatrous things and not fit to be used in so reformed a place from the Castle they gave him som pieces of Ordnance which surely he gave them since he was King of England and at the entrance of the town they presented him with a golden Bason which was carried before him on mens shoulders to his Palace I think from whence it came His Majesty was convey'd by the Younkers of the Town which were about 100 Halberds dearly shall they rue it in regard of the charge to the Cress and so to the high Church where the only bell they had stood on tip toe to behold his sweet face where I must intreat you to spare him for an hour I lost him In the mean time to report the Speeches of the people concerning his never-exampled entertainment were to make his discourse too tedious unto you as the Sermon was to those that were constrained to endure it After the Preachment he was conducted by the same Halberds unto his Palace of which I forbear to speak because it was a place sanctified by his divine Majesty only I wish it had been better walled for my friends sake that waited on him Now I will begin briefly to speak of the people according to their degrees and qualities for the Lords Spiritual they may well be termed so indeed for they are neither Fish nor Flesh but what it shall please their earthly God the King to make them Obedience is better then Sacrifice and therefore they make a mock at Martyrdom saying That Christ was to die for them and not they for him They will rather subscribe then surrender and rather dispense with small things then trouble themselves with great disputation they will rather acknowledge the King to be their head then want wherewith to pamper their bodies They have taken great pains and trouble to compass their Bishopricks and they will not leave them for a trifle for the Deacon whose defects will not lift them up to dignities all their study is to disgrace them that have gotten the least degree above them and because they cannot Bishop they proclaim they never heard of any The Scriptures say they speak of Deacons and Elders but not a word of Bishops Their Discourses are full of detraction their Sermons nothing but railing and their Conclusions nothing but Herefies and Treasons For their Religion they have I confess they have it above reach and God-willing I will never reach for it They christen without the Cross marry without the Ring receiv the Sacrament without reverence die without repentance and bury without divine Service they keep no Holy-days nor acknowledge any Saint but S. Andrew who they said got that honor by presenting Christ with an oaten cake after his forty days fast They say likewise that he that translated the Bible was the son of a Maulster because it speaks of a miracle done by Barley-Loaves whereas they swear they were Oaten Cakes and that no other bread of that quantity could have sufficedso many thousands They use no prayer at all for they say it is needless God knows their minds without pratling and what he doth he loves to do it freely Their Sabbaths exercise is a preaching in the forenoon and a persecuting in the afternoon they go to Church in the forenoon to hear the Law and to the crags and mountains in the afternoon to louz themselves They hold their Noses if you talk of Bear-baiting and stop their Ears if you speak of a Play Fornication they hold but a pastime wherein mans ability is approved and a womans fertility is discovered At Adultery they shake their heads Theft they rail at Murther they wink at and Blasphemy they laugh at they think it impossible to lose the way to Heaven if they can but leave Rome behind them To be opposite to the Pope is to be presently with God to conclude I am perswaded that if God and his Angels at the last day should come down in their whiest Garments they would run away and cry The Children of the Chappel are come again to torment us let us flie from the abomination of these boys and hide our selves in the Mountains For the Lords Temporal and spiritual temporizing Gentlemen if I were apt to sp ak of any I could not speak much of them only I must let you know they are not Scottishmen for assoon as they fall from the breast of the beast their mother their careful fire posts them away for France which as they pass the Sea sucks from them that which they have suckt from their rude dams there they gather new flesh new blood new manners and there they learn to put on their cloaths and then return into their Countreys to wear them out there they learn to stand speak discourse and congee to court women and to complement with men They spared for no cost to honor the King nor no complemental curtesy to welcom their Country-men their followers are their fellows their wives their slaves their horses their masters and their swords their Judges by reason whereof they have but few laborers and those not very rich their Parliaments holo but three dayes their Statutes three lines and their Suits are determined in a manner in three words or very few more c. The wonders of their Kingdom are these the Lord Chancellor he is believed the Master of the Rolls well spoken of and the whole Councel who are the Judges for all causes are free from suspition of corruption The Country although it be mountainous affords no Monsters but Women of which the greatest sort as Countesses and Ladies are kept like Lions in Iron grates the Merchants wives are also prisoners but not in so strong a hold they have wooden Cages like our Boar Franks through which sometimes peeping to catch the Air we are almost choaked with the sight of them the greatest madness amongst the men is Jealousie in that they fear what no man that hath but two of his sences will take from them The Ladies are of opinion that Susanna could not be chast because she bathed so often Pride is a thing bred in their bones and their flesh naturally abhors cleanliness their breath commonly stinks of Pottage their linen of Piss their hands of Pigs turds their body of sweat and their splay-feet never offend in Socks To be chained in marriage with one of them were to be tyed to a dead carkass and cast into a stinking ditch Formosity and a dainty face are things they dream not of The Oyntments they most frequently use amongst them are Brimstone and Butter for the Scab and Oyl of Bays and Stave sacre I protest I had rather be the meanest servant of the two of my Pupils Chamber-maids then to be the Master-Minion to the fairest Countess I have yet discovered The sin of curiosity of oyntments is but newly crept inro the Kingdom and I do not think will long continue To draw you down by degree from the Citizens Wives to the Countrey Gentlewomen and convey you to common Dames in Sea-coal lane that converse with Rags and Marrow-bones are things o● Mineral-race every whore i● Hound ditch is an Helena and the greasie Bauds in Turnmil street at Greekish Dames in comparison of these And therefore to conclude The men of old did no more wonder that the great Messias should be born in so poor a town as Bethlem in Judea then I do wonder that so brave a Prince as King Iames should be born in so stinking a Town as Edinburgh in lowsie Scotland FINIS
bowels of the Spanish Crocodile to which they got when he gap'd to swallow them They are a serpent wreathed about the legs of that Elephant They are the little sword-fish pricking the belly of the Whale They are the wane of that Empire which increas'd in Isabella and in Charles the fifth was at full They are a glass wherein Kings may see that though they be Soveraigns over lives and goods yet when they usurp upon Gods part and will be Kings over conscience too they are sometimes punisht with losse of that which lawfully is their own That Religion too fiercely urg'd is to stretch a string till it not onely jars but cracks in the breaking whips perhaps the streiners eye out That an extreme taxation is to take away the hony while the Bees keep the Hive whereas he that would Inke that should first either burn them or drive them out That Tyrants in their Government are he greatest Traitors to their own States That a desire of being too absolute is to walk upon Pinacles and the tops of Pyramides where not only the footing is ful of hazard but even the sharpness of that they tread on may run into their foot and wound them That too much to regrate on the patience of but tickle Subjects is to press a thom till it prick your finger That nothing makes a more desperate Rebell than a Prerogative inforced too far That liberty in man is as the skin to the body not to be put off but together with life That they which will command more than they ought shall not at last command so much as is fit That moderate Princes sit faster in their Regalities than such as being but men would yet have their power over their Subjects as the Gods unlimited That oppression is an iron heat till it burns the hand That to debar some States of antient Priviledges is for a Falcon to undertake to beat a flock of Wild-geese out of the Fens That to go about to compell a sullen reason to submit to a wilfull peremptoriness is so long to beat a chain'd mastiffinto his kennell till at last he turns and flies at your throat That unjust policy is to shoot as they did at Ostend into the mouth of a charged Canon to have two Bullets returned for one That he doth but indanger himself that riding with too weak a Bit provokes a head-strong horse with a spur That t is safer to meet a valiant man weaponless then almost a coward in Armor That even a weak cause with a strong Castle wili boil salt blood to a rebellious Itch. That 't is better keeping a Crazy body in an equal temper than to anger humors by too sharp a Physick That Admonitions from a dying man are too serious to be neglected That there is nothing certain that is not impossible That a Cobler of Vlushing was one of the greatest enemies that the King of Spain ever had To conclude the Country it self is a Moted Castle keeping a Garnish of the richest Jewels of the world in 't The Queen of Bohemia and her Princely Children The people in it are Jews of the New Testament that have exchanged nothing but the Law for the Gospel and this they rather prosess then practice Together a Man of War riding at Anchor in the Downs of Germany For forein Princes to help them is wise self-policy When they have made them able to defend themselves against Spain they are at the Pale if they enable them to offend others they go beyond it For questionless were this thorn out of the Spaniards side he might be feared too soon to grasp his long intended Monarchy And were the Spaniard but possessed Lord of the Low Countreys or had the States but the wealth and power of Spain the rest of Europe might be like people at Sea in a Ship on fire that could only chuse wherther they would drown or burn Now their war is the peace of their neighbours So Rome when busied in her civil broils the Parthians lived at rest but those concluded once by Caesar next are they designed for Conquest If any man wonder at these contraries let him look in his own body for as many several humors In his own brain for as many different Fancies In his own heart for as various passions and from all these he may learn That there is not in all the World such another Beast as Man FINIS A PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF THE PEOPLE AND COUNTREY OF Scotland LONDON Printed for Rich. Lownds 1670. A Perfect DESCRIPTION of Scotland FIrst for the Countrey I must confess it is good for those that possess it and too bad for others to be at the charge to conquer it The Air might be wholsom but for the stinking people that inhabit it The ground might be fruitful had they wit to manure it Their Beasts be generally small women only excepted of which sort there are none greater in the whole world There is great store of Fowl too as foul houses foul sheets foul linen foul dishes and pots foul trenchers and napkins with which sort we have been forced to say as the children did with their fowl in the wilderness They have good store of fish too and good for these that can eat it raw but if it come once into their hands it is worse than if it were three days old For their Butter and Cheese I will not meddle with I at this time nor no man else at any time that loves his life They have great store of Deer but they are so far from the place where I have been that I had rather believe than go to disprove it I confess all the Deer I met withal was dear Lodgings dear Horse-meat and dear Tobaco and English Beer As sor fruit for their Grand fire Adams sake they never planted any and for other Trees had Christ been betrayed in this Country as doubtless he should had he come as a stranger Judas had sooner found the Grace of Repentance than a Tree to hang himself on They have many hills wherein they say is much treasure but they shew none of it Nature bath only discovered to them some Mines of Coal to shew to what end he created them I saw little grass but in their Potrage The Thistle is not given of nought for it is the fairest flower in their Garden The word Hay is Heathen Greek unto them neither man nor beast knows what it means Corn is reasonable plenty at this time for since they heard of the Kings comming it hath been as unlawful for the common people to eat Wheat as it was in the old time for any but the Priests to eat shew-bread They prayed much for his coming and long fasted for his welfare but in the more plain sense that he might fare the better all his followers were welcom but his guard for those they say are like Pharaoh's lean Kine and threaten death wheresoever they come They could perswade the Footmen that oaten