I would sooner see that triumph Than all the Pageans a day after Symon And Iude when the fine City goes a feasting Oh Sir I have newes yes they are gone brave newes Your Gentlewoman can hold out no longer This night there will be a stratagem Old Madam Humpe a pompe the Nurse has promis'd To admit the Countrey Gentleman when all Are a bed into her chamber yes your Mistris I 'm o' th' plot to lye Perdue and give The word if any Fire-lock approach The rest imagine if he have not art to Perswade her to the feat with him yet there Be tricks and he may be surprized in the Chamber And she may be compell'd to marry him in Her owne defence there have been such devises Hart. Does he consent Clos. She is betraid to 't sir Hart. Then thou wo't be so base Clos. And I had meant it I nere had told you this can you make use Of this intelligence Hart. Thou art my honest servant Clos. I promis'd to be his Hart. I have it Canst By any meanes procure me but his clothes Clos. With ease he 'll go to bed betimes to avoid Suspicion that 's a part of our designe Hart. I could not wish a happy opportunity To try how she affects this gaudy foole And clear my faith to her which her mothers watch Will not permit she has I feare perceiv'd My new familiarity with her mother Which I am compell'd too and must cleer this way Faile me not Close and propound thy owne Reward Clos. Tell me your purpose and let my wit Dispose of him Hart. Prosper me love in this Clos. And you fall to prayers With good love look about us I shall suspect You wo'not thrive you should go to a wench As Gentlemen to Oysters without ceremony Or saying grace devotion will spoile all Exeunt Enter Playfaire and his Cousen Cous. Right as an Arrow Couze Play Witty enginere But was she taken with the plot Cous. I was compell'd to frame the outside of a reason Lest our owne mirth should play the Traytor with us Her spleene was so dilated he beleeved I have made her mad which change makes for us Play Excellent Cous. And he that we employed the Pursevant Shewed such a fierie Raskall the poore Usurer Trembled as Bawds beneath the lash Play He comes then Cous. With as much joy as to receive a hanging He would be whipt and say his prayers i' th' Church In a white sheet Play That were no pennance to him Cous. Nay he would pay as much as he should fine For Alderman though halfe his soule went with it For his quietnesse he doth apprehend Nothing but earth-quakes Enter three Lords Play How am I rampant With the imagination bid the musick Be ready they know all their flourishes But shift you quickly for your other part My honourable Lords How they doe look like States-man where 's your tooth-pick Excellent beare your staffe handsomely contract The brow and look more superciliously 1. I warrant you for my part 2. We came now From practise Play Can ye do 't with confidence 3. These verie clothes have made me proud already It was some Lords cast sute I 'll lay my life Enter one with perfume 1. And mine it smels of honour Play So so how now man 2. He looks pale My Lord how d' ee 1. Well well I hope 't is but conceit it 3. Of what 1. Will the pox lye in clothes I can not tell I finde some alteration in my body Sin be I shifted Play 'T is a meere conceit They were an honest mans upon my knowledge A Captaine of the traine Band in the Countrey They were brought against the generall Muster last He were 'em that day and to Church the Sunday Following and most carefully sene 'em up To taste our London Lavender 1. Sir you have satisfied me Play Be sprightly where 's this Prince See and attend him in fit state Enter Cousen for the King and Lords Sir Clement Flourish 2. He 's here Play Now by that sprig a pretty Majesty But wo't thou not be out of thy Kings part And when the Wine is wanting at the Banquet Call upon drawers quarrell with your Nobles Or when we shall present our man of morgages Take him aside and borrow halfe a crowne To give your whore benevolence which trifled For you last tilting or be drunke too soone And leave our project in the dirt Cous. My Lords This fellowes insolence must be corrected Dispose him in what prison you think fit Lo. He 's mad I thinke Cous. To Bedlam with him then Is this a place for fools or madmen who Admitted him take him see you He be well whipt and let him thanke our mercy Bandog Play I quake already excellent Warbucks Coole coole thy lungs and whisper with some Lord Thou wo't be a key too high else good Sr. Clement Master of the house at whose cost we are entertain'd Sr. Cle. My part is rotten In my head doubt not Enter Pursevant Play Is he come Purs. He waits in the first chamber Play Let the Lutes Begin and their best voice and then admit him Soft Musicke Enter Hornet Horn. Here 's revelling my purse must be squeez'd for 't That 's the King the rest are bare how supple they are I' th hams that Courtier has Oyl'd his joynts He looks this way they point at me a rot O'th at knaves finger 1 Lo. What fellow 's this who waits Purs. It was his graces pleasure he was sent for My good Lord 1. Mr. Hornet Let me have the honour to present him War Is this the man whom all so much commend For his ability Horn. I smell no good from that word ability War Discreet and read i' th' Commonwealth a man Fit for employment in the State 2. The very same War His countenance is promising Sr. Clem. If the King of Spaine Had but his head that politick head I know who might go fish for the Low-Countreyes War His garments are but course Sr. Cle. His minde is rich Hor. They praise me I am a thousand pound the worse for 't 3. Wil t please your Maiesty War Kneel downe Thy name Horn. Giles Hornet your poore creature War Rise up Sir Giles Hornet Horn. But am I Knighted Lords We congratulate your honour Horn. What must I pay for it I 'll sell it any friend of yours againe For halfe the money War Some have care to give His body more becomming ornaments He shall be like himselfe and then we will confer More honors on him Exit Pursevant 1 Lo. Do you make haste his Grace Will have you new thatch'd you must have clothes Fitting your State and honorable title Horn. These will be good enough for me 'las I am not able 1 Lo. Nay you must have 'em from his Wardrobe sir They 'll cost you nothing You 'll not looke in those Like a poore Knight of Windsor War When he is ready give us knowledge 1 Lo. Yes sir Exeunt Flourish
a beggar or must be verie shortly Bell. Have you his lands in morgage Horn. Not yet not yet but he 'll want money widdow Bell. He has had good breeding Horn. Hang breeding 't is unlucky They never keep their state that have too much on 't Counsell your daughter Mistresse Bellamy To throw him off betime Bell. You direct well Horn. When we are married I 'll provide a match for her Bell. You have care on 's Horn. It will become me Hart. Is he Suitor to your mother Lady Fra. He would be such a thing Were not I blest In such a jolly father in law Hart. He looks like some cast money-bag that had given up The stuffing and for want of use growne mouldy He dares not keep much fire in 's kitchin lest Warming his hands which rather looke like gloves So tann'd and thin he let em scorch and gather Into a heap I do not think he ever Put off his clothes he would run-mad to see His owne anatomy that such a wretch Should have so vast a wealth Fran. I wod not be his Niece for all his fortune Hart. I presume Your mother is more noble than to encourage him In his pretence and her estate would mix But ill with his ill-gotten wealth extorted From widdowes and from orphans nor will all His plentie keep his soule one day from famine 'T is time ill spent to mention him let 's talk Of something else Fran. Of what Hart. Of love agen Whose flame we equally divide Horn. Your table Is a devourer and they shut up doores First that keep open house and entertainments This Lord is feasted and that young Ladies Sweet tooth must have a banquet t'other old Madam with ne're a tooth must have some marchpane Corall to rub her gums withall these are Ridiculous expences Bell. Far from thrift Horn. This roome has too rich furniture and worse Hangings would serve the turne if I may be Worthy to counsell costly pictures are Superfluous though of this or t'other masters Doing Hang Michael Angelo and his oyles If they be given y' are the more excus'd To let 'em shew but have a care you let not Appeare either in Arras or in picture The storie of the Prodigall 't will fright Young Gentlemen that come to visit you From spending o' their portions whose riot May enrich you with their forfeited estates I have a thousand precepts more Bell. But do not Think all this while of heaven Horn. 'T is in my chest And multiplyed in everie bag Bell. Or hell Horn. A fable to fright fooles or children but I cannot stay my Scrivener doth expect me I 'll visit you another time sweet widdow And give you more instructions Bell. Spare your travell I sha'not practise these in haste and must Declare these precepts make not for your welcome My patience was a vertue all this while If you but think you have a soule repent Your rules I am not covetous to follow Good master Hornet Horn. Live and be undone then You 'l tell me another tale hereafter widdow Exit Enter Nurse and Close Nur. Letters from Master Startup the countrey Gentleman Har. What 's he Fran. A Sutor of my Nurses commendations Clo. Now heaven deliver me what have I seen This monster once was shewne i' th' faire or such Another furr'd Baboone for all the world Do'st know him Why do I ask such a question He 's such a thing the Devill would not owne 's Acquaintance Nur. Master Hornet the great Usurer Clo. Hornet Nay then my wonder 's over and the Devill be but such another they May be sworne brothers yes and divide hell Betwixt em Hart. Who is that you talk on Sir Clo. The beast that Heaven be thank'd has left you Hornet but I ha newes for you Bell. Frances Hart. I 'll heare it in the garden Exit Hart. Close Bell. Do you love That Master Hartwell do not blush but answer Fran. I hope you move not this as if you doubted I took him first upon your character Into my good opinion Bell. But things alter What then I thought I deliver'd yee Nor since hath he deserv'd a lesse esteeme In his owne person but the circumstance Is not the same his fortune I have examin'd Which rises not to such a value I Did apprehend and it becomes my care Being at one gift to depart with thee And my estate to look for one whose purse May carrie a proportion Fran. Make me not Imagine you would wed me to a heap Of shining dust a golden bondage Bell. Nor To penurie his birth and education Are not unworthy he 's a handsome man too But be not govern'd by your eye too much Children and age pursue and many stormes Hover about our fraile conditions All these must be provided for they are not Kisses will arme you against winter therefore Confident of your obedience I propound Another to your best thoughts Fran. Oh my unhappinesse Bell. A Countrey Gentleman of spreading fortunes Young too and not uncomely for his breeding It was not spun the finest but his wealth Able to guild deformitie and make Even want of wit a vertue when your life Renders it selfe more sweet by your command His name is Master Startup whom I expect Our guest to morrow that 's his letter read it This may seeme strange at the first coming toward you But when discretion comes to examine what A fruitfull consequence attends it you Will thank me for 't Fran. But with your pardon mother Although I could dispence with my owne thoughts And frame them to obedience will this change Be for my honour or my fame when such A noble Gentleman shall boast he had With your consent my love or pray admit That which we gaine by riches of the second Seeme to authorize and may justifie The act with some how can it cure the wound Which the poore heart which loves shall find too soone When 't is neglected and so cruelly Where it did hope for cherishing Oh think How you did love my father first and be More gentle to your daughter your estate Is above needy providence or grafting Into a new stock it doth grow already Faire from his owne root and doth want no peecing Nor are the meanes of Hartwell so contemptible Bell. No more y'have consider'd well you 'l shape Another answer i' th' meane time dispose Your countenance to entertaine this new And able Lover leave the satisfaction Of Hartwell to my care He 's here to your chamber Enter Hartwell Close Clo. I know not what 's the trick on 't nor themselves yet But he has a project to employ 'em all Hart. I wish it well but do you work your selfe Into the opinion of her Nurse she is The Major Domo and has all the intelligence Clo. Let me alone I 'll work her Sir like wax To print what forme you please upon her 't is A Loving Crone already to me I Will speake her faire and in my drink may marrie her Bell.
thought Now I have tried you both assure my childe I loved him but for thee dispose thy selfe To be his Bride This newes at his returne Will make all well to rest Fran. Can this be true Bell. 'T were sin to mocke thee any more To bed Fran. I 'll spend all night In prayers for you mother Oh my Hartwell Exeunt Enter Playfaire and his Cousen Play I am bound ever to thee Cous. Does she not become her rich cloathes too Play The morning never look'd So fresh nor Venus with more charmes upon her Adon would melt before her eye and wooe her Her kisses at expence of his last breath Cupid himselfe could he but see would fall In love with her and throwing away his shafts Offer the empty quiver to her eyes Ambitious to fill it with her beames The least of which would wound more hearts than ail His stocke of golden Arrowes Cous. No more Raptures Play Didst thou not know before that love is able Without the helpe of Sacke to make a Poet My nimble Mercury Ioves Herald in Reversion Cous. I must confesse I had a trick of Mercury when I pick'd His pocket for the Keyes Play He never mist 'em Cous. His eyes were drench'd in suds and I return'd em Ere they recover'd light Play 'T was excellent He walkes in darknesse still Cous. D' ee think he 'll know her Play His cloathes already have Made him forget himselfe or if he have But the remembrance of such a woman The more he sees her now the more he 'l thinke The change impossible Cous. Where ha' you left him Play I' th' Gallery where with much patience He does expect his highnesse will send for him Cous. Then all runs smoothe his wonder still continues Play I fed that humour artificially He is halfe perswaded all 's but a dream To which imagination his clothes Are a great help because he paid not for 'em Sometimes he is very merry then agen He struts about with such a scurvy pride As some new crept into Nobility When men of their first Livery come to see 'em His honour has so chang 'him that he now Knowes not of what Religion he is Or if he chance to thinke of his first faith He spits o' th hangings and excused with I do not like the Story 't is apocryphall Sometimes he 'll offer at a jest and talke Non-sense with him that has been seaven yeares Lorded Frowne upon any man that will presume To have more knowledge in worse clothes I told him It was his Graces pleasure he should be Controuler of the Masque and he did sweat As he were studying for some mighty oathes To cleere the presence he is here away Exit Hornet and Sr. Clement Horn. And you are Master of the house Sir Clement For so I heard you call'd Clem. It is my name Sr. Gyles unworthy of this grace his Highnesse Is daign'd to shew in honouring of my daughter Horn. And was she married this morning say you Clem. This morne she lost her Virgin name Horn. I have not seen her yet nor any of the Ladies You have but little noise methinkes in the house Clem. It would offend his Grace Horn. Who as you say came hither privately with a small train Of Lords Would I might see his face agen I am not sent for yet I have beene ready Sr. Clement these three houres and I do wonder His Grace forgets himselfe so much Clem. That Musick speaks him on entrance Enter Cousen and Lords Flourish Cous. I that garbe becomes him How was his person lost within that shape He was first presented to me Horn. Indeed the case is somewhat a Altered by your highnesse bounty To your poore subject Hornet Play Now he lookes As he did scorne the quorum and were hungry To eat a Statesman 'Las an office in The houshold is too little for a breakfast A Baron but a mornings draught he 'll gulpe it Like a round Egge in Muscadine Me thinkes At every wiping of his mouth should drop A golden saying of Pythagoras A piece of Machiavell I see already Hang on his Beard which wants but stroaking out The Statutes and the Magna Charta have Taken a lease at his tongues end Cous. I will think on 't He shall be but toth ' banquet Then let the masque be ready there we shall Employ your worthy diligence Horn. Heaven blesse your mightie Grace Cous. You 'll follow Exit Horn. I attend you presently I know not what to think of these things yet 'T is verie strange I should be thus exalted Without desert best knowne unto my self Princes I see are mortall and may be Deceiv'd in placing of their honours I Am little better than a favorite If this be true If 't is a question Let me consider wisely it may be I am not I No no I am a Knight Are these my clothes I did not use to weare such A pocket in my sleeve and velvet hose Six times translated since they were a Mid-wives Fore-part were things I wore on holidayes The price of these would break a Cammels back And yet some men walk under 'em like Elephants And have varietie as the Devill were Their Taylour who best knowes where all their land lies Then why this cost on me it is a dreame And I am verie glad on 't 't is impossible I should be true it does not hang together I will have patience till i wake agen And care not what becomes on 't Enter Sr. Clement Clem. 'T is his Highnesse Pleasure now the banquet 's done Horn. How the banquet done I was comming to 't You could hardly say grace by this time Clem. That 's a ceremony growne out of use It was a running banquet Horn. A running so it seemes it made great haste I doe dreame certainly there 's no sense nor reason In any thing they say Sr. Clem. You know your place The masque will straight begin and his Grace wo'not Have any one admitted he resolves If the conceit affect him it shall be Perform'd i' th' Court hereafter i' th' meane time He does command all privacie There are Some set to guard the door but your care must Provide his Highnesse be not interrupted Back they are rude already Exit Knocks Horn. Let me alone What turbulent Knave is that Within I am a Countrey Gentlemen Sr. Gyles And if I may presume upon good clothes You may before his Grace call me your Couzen And not be asham'd here is a Lady too Horn. A Lady too Is she with child What makes she Here and she be with child already Tell thee none such shall be admitted while I am in place More rapping Keep the doores If I do fall a swearing once look to 't Within I beseech you for my wives sake Horn. Thy wives What 's he that pleads In forma pauperis Within A Citizen and like you Horn. Like me thou lyest I am more like a Lord Thou shalt fare ne're the better for that word Knock