occasion_n etc._n etc._n but_o i_o must_v give_v you_o one_o caution_n viz._n that_o though_o you_o find_v your_o heart_n never_o so_o much_o resolve_v against_o and_o abhor_v of_o any_o sin_n yet_o take_v heed_n that_o you_o build_v not_o upon_o the_o strength_n of_o resolution_n but_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v enable_v you_o by_o his_o strength_n and_o that_o as_o he_o have_v give_v you_o the_o will_n so_o he_o will_v give_v you_o the_o deed_n also_o it_o be_v well_o observe_v by_o one_o as_o follow_v in_o effect_v it_o be_v true_a that_o we_o do_v understand_v many_o thing_n by_o experience_n which_o we_o shall_v not_o understand_v by_o knowledge_n as_o this_o i_o have_v oftentimes_o determine_v to_o do_v many_o thing_n the_o one_o more_o pious_a holy_a and_o christian_a then_o another_o and_o have_v see_v for_o the_o most_o part_n the_o issue_n and_o effect_n to_o be_v quite_o contrary_a to_o what_o i_o determine_v and_o on_o the_o contrary_a observe_v that_o other_o pious_a and_o christian_a thing_n be_v do_v by_o i_o without_o my_o praedetermination_n or_o forecast_n i_o stand_v a_o it_o be_v confound_v in_o myself_o not_o understand_v in_o what_o this_o secret_n do_v consist_v i_o do_v not_o wonder_v that_o in_o thing_n which_o i_o determine_v as_o a_o man_n the_o contrary_n shall_v come_v to_o pass_v of_o that_o which_o i_o will_v but_o i_o do_v wonder_v that_o in_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o determine_v as_o a_o christian_a the_o same_o shall_v befall_v i_o and_o find_v myself_o in_o this_o confusion_n it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o read_v that_o resolution_n of_o saint_n peter_n though_o i_o shall_v die_v with_o thou_o yet_o will_v i_o not_o deny_v thou_o and_o consider_v that_o though_o the_o resolution_n be_v pious_a holy_a and_o christian_n the_o contrary_a of_o that_o which_o he_o resolve_v befall_v he_o i_o understand_v that_o my_o determination_n have_v not_o their_o issue_n and_o effect_n according_a to_o my_o desire_n because_o i_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v my_o own_o utter_a disability_n to_o perform_v any_o holy_a and_o good_a work_n so_o that_o i_o understand_v by_o experience_n that_o although_o god_n punish_v my_o inconsiderateness_n in_o not_o suffer_v that_o to_o come_v to_o pass_v which_o i_o intend_v yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n he_o satisfy_v my_o general_a desire_n of_o do_v good_a by_o suffer_v that_o to_o come_v to_o pass_v which_o i_o do_v not_o procure_v nor_o hope_n nor_o pretend_v unto_o whence_o i_o have_v gather_v that_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v that_o i_o shall_v depend_v on_o he_o in_o such_o manner_n that_o i_o shall_v determine_v or_o propound_v nothing_o without_o hold_v he_o before_o my_o eye_n show_v unto_o he_o my_o good_a will_n and_o refer_v unto_o he_o the_o issue_n and_o success_n of_o my_o desire_n and_o endeavour_n chap._n x._o direction_n for_o vow_n now_o because_o vow_n do_v very_o frequent_o especial_o in_o young_a beginner_n follow_v upon_o resolution_n and_o because_o that_o very_o many_o pious_a and_o religious_a person_n have_v be_v ensnare_v by_o rash_a vow_n and_o after_o vow_n it_o be_v not_o fit_a to_o make_v enquiry_n therefore_o i_o shall_v set_v down_o some_o caution_n of_o and_o direction_n fot_o vow_n 1._o as_o we_o have_v say_v concern_v resolutious_a let_v your_o vow_n be_v rather_o against_o the_o occasion_n of_o sin_n then_o against_o sin_n itself_o 2._o when_o the_o subject_n of_o your_o vow_n be_v of_o thing_n indifferent_a in_o themselves_o 1._o take_v heed_n of_o make_v any_o perpetual_a vow_n for_o the_o reason_n why_o you_o make_v any_o vow_n against_o any_o indifferent_a thing_n as_o in_o drink_v wine_n &c_n &c_n it_o be_v because_o than_o it_o be_v a_o snare_n unto_o you_o but_o in_o process_n of_o time_n it_o may_v cease_v to_o be_v a_o snare_n unto_o you_o nay_o it_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a snare_n and_o occasion_n sickness_n or_o death_n not_o to_o drink_v it_o as_o in_o some_o case_n have_v happen_v 2._o let_v all_o vow_n concern_v indifferent_a thing_n be_v conditional_a and_o let_v these_o two_o constant_o be_v two_o of_o the_o condition_n 1._o that_o you_o will_v abstain_v from_o such_o a_o thing_n or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n unless_o you_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o advise_v by_o some_o godly_a minister_n or_o private_a christian_a i_o know_v a_o religious_a woman_n that_o have_v vow_v to_o read_v many_o chapter_n every_o day_n when_o she_o be_v unmarried_a she_o make_v this_o vow_n but_o afterward_o in_o the_o time_n of_o her_o lie_v in_o and_o other_o weakness_n the_o chapter_n be_v so_o many_o that_o she_o do_v much_o endanger_v the_o loss_n of_o her_o sight_n and_o the_o neglect_n of_o all_o other_o duty_n when_o her_o poverty_n and_o family_n grow_v great_a now_o have_v she_o add_v this_o caution_n to_o her_o vow_n she_o may_v have_v be_v deliver_v out_o of_o that_o snare_n and_o though_o it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o many_o case_n a_o vow_n may_v be_v dispense_v withal_o when_o we_o can_v keep_v it_o without_o sin_n as_o in_o this_o case_n one_o have_v vow_v a_o weekly_a secret_a fast_a one_o health_n or_o child_n with_o which_o one_o go_v will_v certain_o be_v destroy_v by_o it_o yet_o if_o it_o be_v but_o a_o inconvenience_n though_o a_o very_a great_a one_o it_o will_v not_o release_v one_o from_o one_o vow_n now_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o add_v that_o condition_n unless_o some_o minister_n or_o for_o want_v thereof_o some_o other_o godly_a christian_a shall_v otherwise_o advise_v be_v because_o the_o several_a case_n that_o may_v happen_v be_v so_o various_a that_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o specify_v they_o all_o or_o think_v of_o they_o all_o and_o very_o difficult_a to_o judge_v of_o they_o all_o when_o we_o make_v the_o vow_n and_o moreover_o if_o we_o shall_v leave_v it_o to_o ourselves_o we_o shall_v be_v too_o partial_a for_o as_o when_o our_o conscience_n be_v much_o touch_v for_o our_o sin_n we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v too_o violent_a in_o our_o spiritual_a revenge_n so_o in_o a_o little_a time_n when_o that_o pang_n be_v over_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v too_o indulgent_a to_o ourselves_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_a to_o say_v thus_o lord_n i_o do_v vow_n unto_o thou_o that_o i_o will_v keep_v every_o week_n a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n or_o that_o i_o will_v not_o drink_v any_o wine_n this_o three_o month_n next_o followiog_n unless_o some_o such_o occasion_n shall_v be_v that_o if_o it_o have_v then_o be_v or_o then_o think_v of_o when_o i_o make_v my_o vow_n that_o such_o or_o such_o or_o some_o other_o godly_a minister_n will_v have_v i_o consult_v with_o he_o then_o wish_v i_o not_o to_o have_v make_v that_o vow_n then_o to_o say_v i_o will_v do_v this_o or_o that_o unless_o some_o such_o occasion_n be_v that_o be_v the_o vow_n to_o be_v make_v again_o i_o will_v not_o make_v it_o 2._o add_v this_o caution_n viz._n if_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o will_v not_o drink_v wine_n this_o month_n the_o reason_n be_v because_o if_o you_o drink_v wine_n though_o you_o do_v not_o think_v of_o it_o you_o sin_n if_o your_o vow_n be_v absolute_a but_o if_o it_o be_v with_o that_o condition_n it_o be_v not_o a_o sin_n and_o yet_o by_o add_v that_o condition_n we_o give_v ourselves_o no_o liberty_n since_o it_o be_v not_o in_o our_o power_n to_o forget_v it_o the_o next_o caution_n concern_v vow_n in_o indifferent_a thing_n be_v this_o add_v a_o penalty_n upon_o the_o breach_n of_o your_o vow_n which_o penalty_n be_v not_o add_v by_o way_n of_o hope_n of_o satisfaction_n that_o be_v gross_a ignorance_n and_o superstition_n but_o it_o must_v run_v thus_o i_o will_v spend_v half_o a_o hour_n a_o day_n in_o prayer_n for_o the_o church_n to_o the_o end_n of_o this_o month_n or_o else_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o in_o such_o a_o case_n if_o we_o do_v either_o we_o sin_v not_o the_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v add_v a_o penalty_n it_o because_o some_o inconvenience_n may_v be_v so_o great_a that_o it_o will_v bring_v some_o very_a great_a mischief_n upon_o we_o and_o then_o we_o have_v liberty_n to_o take_v the_o other_o part_n of_o the_o vow_n viz._n to_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o now_o this_o penalty_n must_v 1._o not_o be_v too_o light_a and_o trivial_a but_o it_o must_v be_v of_o such_o consequence_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o tie_n upon_o we_o and_o yet_o not_o of_o so_o great_a weight_n as_o if_o it_o shall_v happen_v it_o may_v prove_v some_o great_a inconvenience_n to_o we_o for_o a_o rich_a man_n to_o say_v he_o will_v give_v 6_o to_o the_o poor_a be_v not_o considerable_a and_o yet_o the_o same_o may_v be_v too_o heavy_a a_o burden_n
nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o too_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n in_o stead_n of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o my_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_o my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o can_v say_v there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v rather_o weep_v and_o mourn_v for_o my_o offend_v thou_o then_o enjoy_v all_o delight_n in_o the_o world_n those_o salt_n water_n be_v more_o precious_a than_o their_o wine_n meditat._n xvii_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o order_v all_o my_o affair_n by_o thy_o wisdom_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v needful_a for_o i_o i_o mnrmure_v oftentimes_o when_o thou_o afflict_a i_o although_o i_o have_v again_o and_o again_o desire_v thou_o to_o direct_v all_o thing_n that_o belong_v unto_o i_o but_o bless_a god_n let_v not_o my_o murmur_n so_o provoke_v thou_o as_o to_o leave_v i_o to_o my_o own_o self_n give_v i_o not_o what_o i_o desire_v but_o what_o i_o want_v my_o judgement_n in_o judge_v what_o be_v good_a or_o bad_a for_o i_o be_v little_a worth_n for_o many_o time_n i_o have_v judge_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o be_v for_o my_o hurt_n yet_o it_o have_v prove_v much_o for_o my_o good_a and_o so_o on_o the_o contrary_a but_o then_o i_o have_v by_o experience_n find_v it_o evident_o for_o my_o good_a when_o i_o have_v yield_v myself_o whole_o to_o be_v guide_v by_o thou_o all_o thing_n lord_n make_v i_o know_v myself_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o heart_n meditat._n xviii_o lord_n it_o fare_v with_o i_o as_o it_o sare_z with_o one_o that_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n from_o his_o friend_n he_o have_v many_o thing_n to_o tell_v he_o of_o several_a particular_n that_o befall_v he_o since_o their_o last_o be_v together_o so_o lord_n i_o have_v be_v a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v much_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o much_o have_v i_o suffer_v from_o my_o own_o corruption_n and_o little_o have_v i_o do_v i_o have_v a_o heart_n will_v let_v i_o do_v nothing_o for_o thou_o lord_n i_o be_o but_o a_o child_n pardon_v my_o babble_n i_o have_v none_o to_o make_v my_o complaint_n to_o no_o not_o one_o thou_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o if_o thou_o lord_n will_v supply_v the_o want_n of_o those_o christian_a friend_n i_o be_o now_o deprive_v of_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o deceitful_a that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o ever_o be_v or_o be_o yet_o thou_o i_o know_v lord_n how_o i_o have_v spend_v day_n sometime_o whole_a week_n together_o in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n and_o read_v devotionary_a book_n to_o prepare_v myself_o for_o the_o communion_n and_o yet_o then_o i_o have_v gross_a fail_n for_o there_o be_v a_o world_n of_o covetousness_n in_o i_o and_o thirst_v after_o humane_a learning_n exceed_o and_o little_a prize_v the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n in_o my_o sermon_n i_o do_v little_a aim_n at_o thy_o glory_n but_o to_o preach_v myself_o now_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o find_v some_o healing_n but_o my_o duty_n be_v few_o and_o now_o there_o be_v far_o more_o want_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v than_o be_v then_o of_o what_o i_o be_o now_o nay_o lord_n thou_o only_o know_v i_o shall_v be_v a_o gainer_n but_o alas_o if_o i_o now_o i_o be_o alone_o shall_v have_v no_o more_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n then_o i_o have_v when_o i_o live_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o glow_a coal_n of_o devotion_n how_o can_v i_o but_o go_v out_o now_o since_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o burn_v then_o when_o i_o think_v of_o serve_v thou_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o perverse_a as_o to_o put_v in_o a_o carnal_a motive_n and_o say_v if_o thou_o do_v so_o then_o god_n will_v bless_v thou_o in_o such_o or_o such_o a_o temporal_a blessing_n and_o my_o heart_n close_v with_o that_o motive_n meditat._v xix_o o_o my_o god_n as_o thou_o be_v my_o father_n so_o let_v i_o know_v that_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v know_v by_o i_o may_v put_v wheel_n to_o my_o obedience_n that_o now_o go_v so_o heavy_o and_o that_o it_o may_v make_v my_o obedience_n more_o pure_a that_o now_o be_v so_o full_a of_o insufficiency_n i_o be_o fain_a to_o be_v glad_a almost_o of_o any_o motive_n to_o make_v i_o serve_v thou_o but_o yet_o it_o be_v my_o burden_n that_o fear_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v that_o which_o love_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v for_o beside_o that_o such_o obedience_n be_v painful_a that_o which_o be_v worse_o it_o be_v impure_a also_o alas_o i_o be_o a_o stranger_n too_o much_o unto_o thou_o and_o in_o be_v so_o a_o enemy_n to_o myself_o lord_n this_o be_v the_o first_o day_n i_o have_v give_v thou_o this_o long_a while_n it_o do_v appear_v that_o it_o be_v so_o by_o the_o poor_a and_o weak_a duty_n i_o perform_v my_o poor_a soul_n be_v like_o a_o poor_a desolate_a widow_n that_o have_v lose_v her_o dear_a husband_n every_o one_o trample_v on_o she_o and_o oppress_v she_o meditat._n xx._n lord_n where_o be_v those_o sweet_a embrace_n and_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n that_o thou_o have_v bestow_v on_o i_o in_o former_a time_n when_o i_o have_v go_v unto_o the_o treasury_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o fetch_v any_o mercy_n from_o thence_o that_o i_o want_v thou_o have_v give_v unto_o my_o prayer_n my_o dear_a brother_n who_o go_v forth_o a_o blasphemer_n or_o at_o least_o a_o common_a swearer_n and_o come_v home_o i_o seek_v thou_o for_o he_o a_o convert_n after_o thou_o give_v i_o his_o life_n and_o the_o life_n of_o my_o mother_n and_o indeed_o lord_n what_o be_v it_o but_o i_o have_v of_o thou_o thou_o do_v almost_o miraculous_o restore_v one_o of_o my_o sister_n to_o comfort_v but_o now_o when_o i_o cry_v and_o shout_n thou_o shutte_v out_o my_o prayer_n and_o be_v almost_o as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o any_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o lord_n i_o know_v that_o the_o fault_n be_v i_o own_o indeed_o lord_n i_o then_o be_v scarce_o ever_o from_o thou_o or_o out_o of_o thy_o thought_n for_o be_v i_o but_o as_o i_o have_v be_v so_o often_o keep_v day_n of_o humble_v before_o thou_o it_o can_v not_o be_v that_o my_o duty_n shall_v be_v such_o as_o they_o be_v but_o lord_n thou_o see_v the_o tear_n these_o thought_n cause_v i_o to_o shed_v they_o be_v thou_o do_v thou_o increase_v they_o but_o take_v away_o
not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o may_v ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o faint_a faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o than_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o man_n what_o injury_n soever_o he_o both_v i_o now_o i_o will_v so_o watch_v over_o my_o word_n that_o i_o will_v not_o offend_v with_o my_o tongue_n and_o that_o by_o degree_n i_o may_v attain_v some_o perfection_n herein_o i_o here_o vow_v every_o week_n between_o this_o and_o the_o next_o communion_n to_o keep_v one_o day_n so_o strict_o that_o i_o will_v not_o during_o that_o day_n speak_v so_o much_o as_o one_o idle_a word_n that_o day_n if_o i_o do_v i_o will_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a lord_n how_o excellent_a be_v thy_o service_n so_o pure_a so_o sweet_a o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o serve_v thou_o meditat._v xxvii_o when_o i_o read_v the_o story_n of_o the_o martyr_n i_o do_v wish_v that_o i_o have_v live_v in_o those_o day_n that_o i_o may_v also_o die_v as_o they_o do_v or_o methinks_v i_o can_v now_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n rather_o than_o yield_v to_o the_o abominable_a idolatry_n and_o superstition_n of_o the_o sea_n of_o rome_n but_o when_o i_o search_v and_o try_v my_o heart_n i_o much_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o my_o desire_n be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o easy_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n sake_n then_o for_o his_o sake_n to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o it_o be_v but_o one_o act_n though_o it_o have_v more_o pain_n yet_o be_v but_o of_o small_a continuance_n it_o be_v less_o trouble_n than_o all_o my_o life_n long_o to_o fight_v against_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v ill_a even_o in_o my_o best_a wish_n in_o divers_a respect_n for_o i_o choose_v martyrdom_n not_o because_o thereby_o i_o may_v more_o honour_n god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v the_o soon_o and_o easy_o come_v to_o heaven_n and_o again_o that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v content_v myself_o though_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o hate_v corruption_n if_o i_o die_v a_o martyr_n all_o will_v be_v well_o whereas_o though_o i_o give_v my_o body_n to_o be_v burn_v and_o have_v not_o charity_n it_o will_v profit_v i_o nothing_o and_o to_o love_n god_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o that_o do_v not_o hate_v sin_n and_o fight_v against_o his_o corruption_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o weary_a be_v we_o of_o our_o spiritual_a fight_n and_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v some_o other_o way_n to_o heaven_n then_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o it_o o_o that_o i_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n and_o live_v to_o god_n how_o vain_a be_v the_o world_n yet_o while_o we_o know_v something_o better_a we_o shall_v not_o think_v so_o we_o talk_v much_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o who_o believe_v that_o the_o world_n be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n or_o who_o be_v sensible_a of_o this_o truth_n or_o if_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o sometime_o affect_v with_o it_o yet_o it_o soon_o vanish_v and_o we_o do_v not_o live_v according_o how_o much_o easy_a be_v it_o to_o speak_v like_o a_o angel_n then_o live_v like_o a_o saint_n meditat._n xxviii_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v do_v it_o for_o i_o take_v my_o soul_n and_o my_o body_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v with_o they_o any_o long_o i_o govern_v they_o so_o ill_o and_o indeed_o be_o so_o unable_a to_o govern_v they_o that_o they_o govern_v i_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v condemn_v i_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o do_v now_o justify_v thou_o and_o testify_v to_o all_o the_o world_n that_o thou_o be_v just_a though_o then_o if_o such_o a_o time_n shall_v come_v i_o shall_v blaspheme_v thou_o my_o dear_a god_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v not_o leave_v that_o small_a hold_n of_o thou_o for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o know_v lord_n there_o be_v no_o dally_v with_o thou_o what_o if_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n and_o write_v with_o the_o pen_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n it_o be_v nothing_o lord_n take_v a_o poor_a soul_n at_o his_o word_n lord_n i_o be_o thou_o and_o do_v now_o give_v myself_o and_o ten_o thousand_o world_n if_o i_o have_v they_o to_o thou_o yet_o when_o thou_o do_v take_v from_o i_o some_o poor_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n i_o murmur_v alas_o i_o have_v a_o poor_a weak_a heart_n meditat._v xxix_o lord_n my_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o small_a and_o that_o which_o be_v be_v but_o little_a spiritual_a or_o experimental_a to_o know_v thou_o by_o what_o other_o write_v and_o say_v of_o thou_o be_v sweet_a to_o they_o that_o can_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o it_o from_o their_o own_o experience_n lord_n what_o be_v it_o that_o have_v keep_v i_o so_o long_o from_o thou_o or_o keep_v thou_o so_o long_o from_o i_o i_o know_v i_o have_v be_v want_v to_o thou_o and_o to_o myself_o lord_n take_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v too_o much_o love_n for_o any_o beside_o thou_o though_o i_o have_v too_o little_a for_o thou_o oh_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o thou_o and_o will_v be_v sweet_a if_o i_o think_v often_o and_o long_o and_o more_o attentive_o of_o thou_o alas_o i_o be_o almost_o grow_v out_o of_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o perceive_v my_o corruption_n in_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o in_o this_o that_o though_o to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o easy_a and_o so_o profitable_a yet_o i_o think_v so_o seldom_o my_o dear_a god_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o business_n of_o the_o world_n suit_n of_o law_n and_o such_o thing_n they_o undo_v i_o they_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o can_v be_v rid_v of_o they_o i_o feel_v upon_o i_o the_o curse_n which_o thou_o threaten_v upon_o the_o people_n of_o israel_n if_o they_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o with_o joy_n they_o shall_v serve_v stranger_n with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hardship_n i_o be_v well_o while_o i_o be_v with_o thou_o than_o i_o have_v my_o song_n in_o the_o night_n now_o my_o day_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n lord_n draw_v i_o draw_v i_o make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o love_n strong_a or_o rather_o than_o
soon_o out_o it_o have_v not_o substance_n enough_o to_o nourish_v and_o maintain_v what_o it_o beget_v for_o creature-excellency_n be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o keep_v up_o the_o delight_n we_o take_v in_o they_o but_o thou_o lord_n be_v love_v and_o thou_o be_v such_o a_o treasure_n of_o excellency_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n make_v new_a discovery_n of_o those_o treasure_n every_o day_n to_o all_o eternity_n thou_o be_v enough_o to_o keep_v alive_a and_o in_o full_a strength_n all_o the_o love_n and_o joy_n and_o praise_n of_o saint_n and_o angel_n lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o to_o answer_v thy_o own_o love_n but_o what_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thou_o thou_o be_v so_o glorious_a that_o i_o be_o afraid_a to_o speak_v of_o thou_o meditat._n xxxiv_o lord_n i_o call_v and_o thou_o do_v not_o answer_v i_o be_o even_o tire_v out_o if_o thou_o do_v not_o support_v i_o sink_v under_o the_o burden_n i_o long_o and_o look_v to_o see_v thy_o beauty_n but_o i_o can_v behold_v nor_o perceive_v one_o glimpse_n that_o thou_o be_v excellent_a i_o see_v by_o the_o eye_n of_o faith_n but_o thy_o excellency_n do_v not_o affect_v i_o all_o my_o prayer_n be_v turn_v into_o this_o lord_n show_v i_o christ_n and_o show_v i_o he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v for_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o he_o and_o the_o fame_n of_o his_o excellency_n have_v come_v unto_o i_o yet_o my_o eye_n have_v not_o see_v he_o i_o think_v with_o myself_o sure_o christ_n manifest_v himself_o and_o to_o be_v fill_v with_o all_o the_o fullness_n of_o god_n and_o to_o have_v a_o conversation_n in_o heaven_n must_v needs_o signify_v more_o than_o ever_o i_o have_v experience_v in_o myself_o for_o such_o poor_a thing_n as_o i_o have_v find_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n can_v fill_v up_o those_o expression_n then_o i_o hear_v of_o those_o who_o life_n be_v spiritual_a and_o christ-like_a not_o glorious_a in_o outward_a mortification_n thou_o be_v blameless_a that_o way_n speak_v of_o such_o thing_n which_o god_n have_v wrought_v for_o they_o and_o in_o they_o which_o i_o have_v not_o find_v but_o be_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n which_o be_v in_o my_o view_n and_o i_o follow_v after_o to_o attain_v but_o can_v then_o from_o their_o relation_n of_o the_o lord_n deal_n with_o they_o i_o perceive_v that_o god_n do_v humble_v they_o more_o before_o he_o do_v discover_v himself_o unto_o they_o then_o ever_o he_o have_v as_o yet_o humble_v i_o so_o that_o i_o find_v no_o rest_n day_n nor_o night_n in_o my_o spirit_n and_o yet_o though_o i_o be_o thus_o restless_a in_o seek_v after_o something_o which_o i_o can_v know_v what_o it_o be_v i_o seek_v for_o i_o can_v discern_v any_o true_a sincere_a constant_a love_n to_o christ_n he_o neither_o let_v i_o know_v that_o he_o love_v i_o nor_o that_o i_o love_v he_o so_o that_o i_o stand_v amaze_v and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v and_o still_o by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o cease_v to_o cry_v and_o call_v upon_o he_o for_o who_o my_o soul_n i_o doubt_v not_o but_o will_v love_v if_o he_o discover_v his_o beauty_n and_o love_n unto_o i_o and_o work_v they_o on_o my_o heart_n i_o seek_v for_o one_o who_o i_o can_v tell_v who_o he_o be_v before_o i_o find_v he_o than_o i_o shall_v know_v and_o shall_v tell_v to_o all_o who_o he_o be_v and_o set_v forth_o his_o excellency_n though_o they_o shall_v as_o little_o understand_v i_o as_o i_o do_v they_o who_o declare_v the_o thing_n that_o god_n have_v wrought_v for_o they_o meditat._v xxxv_o there_o be_v not_o such_o a_o one_o in_o the_o world_n as_o i_o be_o that_o i_o know_v publican_n and_o harlot_n i_o justify_v they_o i_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o mean_n of_o ordinance_n and_o mercy_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o flame_n of_o love_n nay_o when_o thou_o lay_v on_o i_o that_o affliction_n that_o be_v now_o fresh_a bleed_v in_o my_o eye_n or_o rather_o despise_v and_o forget_v i_o shall_v have_v learn_v obedience_n by_o thing_n i_o suffer_v and_o i_o have_v do_v as_o if_o i_o be_v to_o learn_v to_o sin_n by_o they_o thou_o have_v chastise_v i_o with_o rod_n and_o i_o have_v put_v the_o sting_n of_o sin_n into_o they_o and_o have_v make_v they_o scorpion_n thou_o send_v they_o for_o antidote_n and_o i_o have_v turn_v they_o into_o poison_n lord_n teach_v i_o what_o it_o be_v wherein_o thou_o be_v so_o offend_v to_o leave_v i_o thus_o lord_n i_o believe_v thou_o have_v pardon_v i_o but_o small_a be_v my_o comfort_n when_o thou_o pardone_v sin_n but_o subdue_v it_o not_o meditat._n xxxvi_o lord_n i_o do_v so_o evident_o find_v myself_o unable_a to_o judge_v of_o truth_n or_o to_o resist_v temptation_n that_o i_o almost_o nay_o altogether_o lie_v at_o the_o mercy_n of_o every_o temptation_n and_o to_o be_v carry_v about_o with_o the_o wind_n of_o every_o vain_a doctrine_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o stand_v by_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o tell_v thou_o the_o secret_a puddle_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o be_o weary_a of_o the_o stench_n and_o filthiness_n of_o it_o there_o be_v not_o a_o prayer_n but_o they_o meet_v i_o at_o it_o and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o i_o if_o my_o heart_n be_v all_o on_o fire_n with_o thy_o love_n these_o thing_n can_v not_o be_v i_o sometime_o have_v thought_n rise_v in_o my_o heart_n that_o be_v wicked_a proud_a and_o foolish_a thought_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v offend_v that_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n yet_o have_v they_o not_o but_o those_o thought_n no_o soon_o begin_v to_o arise_v but_o i_o consider_v what_o be_o i_o that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o thy_o love_n and_o how_o can_v i_o expect_v the_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n when_o i_o will_v not_o give_v thou_o my_o love_n but_o let_v they_o run_v waste_n upon_o the_o creature_n how_o many_o time_n do_v i_o choose_v to_o do_v any_o thing_n rather_o than_o spend_v my_o time_n in_o meditation_n and_o prayer_n nay_o to_o do_v nothing_o and_o be_v idle_a for_o although_o thou_o love_v we_o first_o yet_o thou_o do_v not_o usual_o discover_v thy_o thought_n of_o love_n to_o a_o soul_n before_o she_o have_v make_v over_o her_o love_n and_o her_o self_n unto_o thou_o then_o i_o think_v thou_o can_v by_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o spirit_n bring_v in_o my_o heart_n my_o soul_n and_o my_o love_n and_o that_o usual_o ere_o thou_o do_v ravish_v the_o soul_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n this_o i_o know_v and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n know_v it_o that_o whatsoever_o wicked_a thought_n arise_v in_o my_o weak_a heart_n which_o i_o can_v answer_v i_o know_v that_o all_o thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a lord_n what_o shall_v i_o give_v for_o the_o shedding_n abroad_o of_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o which_o shall_v be_v give_v for_o it_o be_v it_o at_o the_o utmost_a part_n of_o the_o world_n i_o can_v fetch_v it_o thence_o but_o lord_n the_o price_n of_o it_o be_v already_o pay_v it_o be_v near_o unto_o thou_o even_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n o_o thou_o most_o high_a he_o have_v pay_v for_o this_o mercy_n by_o his_o blood_n long_o ago_o and_o my_o prayer_n thou_o require_v not_o as_o a_o price_n lord_n fill_v i_o with_o these_o spiritual_a supplication_n that_o i_o may_v give_v thou_o no_o rest_n nor_o take_v any_o rest_n myself_o until_o i_o have_v find_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o meditat._n xxxvii_o o_o lord_n beat_v i_o and_o drive_v i_o with_o storm_n and_o tempest_n i_o be_o come_v unto_o thou_o like_o the_o prodigal_a son_n for_o all_o but_o that_o which_o most_o of_o all_o i_o shall_v have_v a_o spiritual_a sorrow_n ragged_a and_o totter_a and_o undo_v my_o sin_n and_o misery_n be_v like_o he_o not_o my_o sorrow_n for_o i_o to_o see_v myself_o languish_v my_o grace_n daily_o grow_v weak_a my_o love_n cold_o and_o even_o almost_o to_o be_v speechless_a in_o prayer_n alas_o the_o sorrow_n that_o i_o have_v be_v rather_o bewail_v my_o misery_n then_o my_o sin_n i_o know_v not_o what_o it_o be_v lord_n but_o thou_o do_v sure_a i_o be_o my_o condition_n be_v sad_a and_o i_o be_o sad_a and_o my_o sadness_n be_v all_o the_o poor_a remain_v of_o comfort_n that_o i_o have_v and_o yet_o i_o no_o soon_o begin_v to_o take_v any_o comfort_n in_o my_o grief_n but_o i_o perceive_v so_o much_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o grief_n that_o the_o poor_a spark_n of_o comfort_n that_o i_o have_v be_v put_v out_o alas_o tear_n of_o blood_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o dry_a eye_n o_o lord_n must_v every_o trifle_n steal_v away_o my_o heart_n from_o thou_o
thy_o excellency_n be_v too_o high_a for_o i_o wisdom_n be_v too_o high_a for_o fool_n o_o that_o thou_o will_v take_v i_o out_o of_o my_o own_o hand_n and_o deliver_v i_o from_o myself_o and_o howsoever_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o importunate_a enough_o now_o i_o shall_v thank_v and_o praise_v thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n if_o thou_o will_v make_v i_o thou_o thou_o have_v do_v as_o much_o to_o draw_v i_o with_o the_o cord_n of_o love_n even_o to_o wonder_v lord_n do_v thou_o snatch_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o fire_n if_o thou_o shall_v stay_v till_o i_o be_o willing_a without_o thy_o make_v i_o so_o i_o be_o lose_v for_o i_o shall_v never_o part_v with_o these_o paint_a vanity_n for_o all_o the_o glory_n in_o heaven_n except_o thou_o give_v i_o the_o eye_n of_o faith_n to_o see_v it_o and_o a_o spiritual_a palate_n to_o relish_v it_o meditat._n xxxviii_o o_o lord_n will_v thou_o let_v a_o poor_a sinner_n lie_v gasp_v out_o his_o last_o breath_n at_o thy_o foot_n and_o die_v in_o thy_o arm_n i_o have_v abundance_n of_o love_n for_o the_o world_n o_o that_o thou_o have_v it_o all_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_o not_o nor_o shall_v never_o be_v at_o quiet_a until_o thou_o have_v it_o nor_o will_v i_o sleep_v until_o i_o be_o in_o thy_o arm_n of_o love_n my_o dear_a god_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o my_o heart_n can_v give_v itself_o to_o who_o it_o will_v have_v i_o a_o thousand_o world_n i_o will_v give_v all_o for_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v be_v thou_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v we_o stand_v consult_v and_o contrive_v what_o to_o do_v god_n be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o than_o all_o thing_n why_o shall_v we_o weight_n a_o talon_n of_o lead_n and_o a_o feather_n together_o to_o see_v which_o be_v heavy_a o_o lord_n my_o soul_n have_v choose_v thou_o long_o ago_o i_o have_v abundance_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v believe_v i_o be_o thou_o and_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n thou_o have_v choose_v i_o and_o i_o have_v choose_v thou_o if_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o vain_a at_o any_o time_n as_o to_o leave_v thou_o thou_o be_v the_o same_o and_o thy_o choice_n fail_v not_o thou_o lord_n which_o make_v i_o choose_v thou_o while_o i_o have_v no_o experience_n of_o thy_o love_n will_v make_v i_o continue_v my_o choice_n lord_n that_o any_o one_o shall_v choose_v hell_n before_o thou_o it_o make_v thou_o not_o to_o be_v less_o glorious_a lord_n must_v my_o blasphemy_n praise_v thou_o i_o find_v so_o much_o hell_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o it_o be_v not_o trouble_v in_o any_o proportionable_a measure_n that_o there_o be_v so_o much_o hell_n in_o it_o when_o i_o set_v apart_o a_o hour_n for_o meditation_n and_o prayer_n than_o i_o keep_v my_o heart_n somewhat_o close_o but_o at_o other_o time_n i_o be_o little_a careful_a to_o improve_v what_o i_o read_v or_o heart_n to_o inflame_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v better_a not_o set_v a_o hour_n apart_o and_o give_v thou_o all_o the_o day_n by_o think_v always_o of_o thou_o lord_n i_o do_v now_o acknowledge_v for_o than_o i_o shall_v not_o but_o if_o thou_o shall_v leave_v i_o i_o shall_v be_v too_o much_o give_v to_o blaspheme_v thou_o nay_o bless_a god_n let_v that_o never_o be_v lord_n it_o shall_v never_o be_v when_o i_o consider_v the_o desperate_a hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o may_v every_o morning_n expect_v that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o up_o to_o a_o reprobate_a sense_n to_o commit_v sin_n with_o greediness_n when_o i_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n i_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n within_o i_o to_o think_v with_o myself_o i_o shall_v lose_v my_o estate_n a_o little_a trouble_v i_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v such_o a_o friend_n it_o affect_v i_o more_o but_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v my_o god_n and_o become_v a_o apostate_n that_o be_v a_o hell_n unto_o i_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o thou_o as_o for_o my_o life_n that_o thou_o will_v not_o leave_v i_o and_o now_o i_o beg_v o_o forsake_v i_o not_o utter_o to_o have_v such_o a_o heart_n that_o will_v neither_o inflame_v my_o word_n nor_o be_v inflame_v by_o they_o be_v that_o which_o have_v not_o be_v so_o lord_n except_o thou_o will_v follow_v one_o that_o will_v not_o stay_v when_o thou_o call_v and_o overtake_v one_o that_o run_v from_o thou_o when_o thou_o follow_v i_o be_o lose_v well_o though_o i_o be_o sure_a my_o froward_a and_o careless_a carriage_n will_v justify_v thy_o justice_n if_o thou_o condemn_v i_o and_o magnify_v thy_o mercy_n if_o thou_o save_v i_o meditat._n thirty-nine_o lord_n this_o day_n be_v thou_o own_o and_o by_o be_v thou_o be_v more_o i_o i_o must_v now_o burn_v without_o coal_n about_o i_o the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o if_o i_o have_v be_v cold_a and_o dull_a the_o society_n expression_n and_o example_n of_o other_o in_o day_n set_v apart_o to_o thou_o will_v have_v inflame_v i_o now_o the_o company_n i_o have_v be_v water_n and_o snow_n woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o yet_o lord_n thou_o be_v never_o want_v thou_o send_v forth_o thy_o beam_n of_o light_n and_o heat_n if_o i_o bring_v not_o cloud_n over_o my_o own_o head_n i_o may_v have_v enough_o light_n from_o thou_o lord_n when_o will_v these_o day_n of_o sin_n be_v end_v and_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v i_o come_v into_o thy_o presence_n but_o when_o i_o be_o come_v i_o be_o silent_a and_o deaf_a neither_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o hear_v the_o sweet_a whisper_n of_o thy_o spirit_n o_o that_o i_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v myself_o unto_o thou_o or_o that_o thou_o will_v take_v these_o poor_a long_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o a_o gift_n and_o thereupon_o take_v possession_n of_o my_o soul_n my_o day_n of_o leap_v for_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v go_v and_o now_o my_o day_n of_o sorrow_n to_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n be_v come_v my_o tear_n be_v now_o my_o meat_n and_o drink_n o_o that_o i_o have_v more_o of_o they_o so_o they_o be_v more_o spiritual_a i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n but_o thou_o be_v the_o rich_a god_n my_o poor_a heart_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o speak_v be_v thou_o silent_a what_o say_v thou_o be_v not_o god_n a_o good_a god_n what_o relish_n or_o sweetness_n be_v there_o in_o these_o word_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o set_v to_o thy_o seal_n lord_n to_o thy_o glory_n though_o not_o to_o my_o comfort_n be_v it_o speak_v thou_o have_v be_v a_o good_a god_n to_o i_o but_o i_o have_v no_o comfort_n from_o this_o truth_n if_o i_o never_o relish_v it_o yet_o if_o my_o heart_n will_v be_v so_o wicked_a as_o not_o to_o acknowledge_v it_o yet_o my_o hand_n shall_v write_v that_o which_o shall_v witness_v for_o my_o god_n against_o myself_o thou_o be_v good_a patient_a and_o merciful_a unto_o i_o enough_o to_o make_v earth_n and_o heaven_n to_o wonder_v at_o thy_o goodness_n and_o my_o vileness_n ah_o my_o god_n my_o god_n must_v my_o word_n go_v beyond_o my_o thought_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o heaven_n enough_o for_o thyself_o and_o be_v thou_o not_o enough_o for_o i_o try_n o_o my_o soul_n try_v thou_o will_v never_o trust_v before_o thou_o know_v this_o by_o experience_n thou_o know_v abundant_o that_o the_o creature_n have_v tell_v thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o i_o this_o thou_o know_v by_o experience_n and_o by_o faith_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v in_o god_n well_o then_o lay_v all_o thy_o weight_n and_o strength_n upon_o he_o and_o none_o upon_o the_o creature_n hold_v upon_o he_o with_o both_o hand_n or_o else_o thou_o will_v attribute_v the_o great_a fail_v unto_o god_n for_o as_o he_o that_o stand_v upon_o never_o so_o strong_a a_o place_n if_o he_o lean_a against_o a_o rot_a wall_n he_o shall_v fall_v and_o one_o that_o be_v asleep_a when_o he_o fall_v will_v not_o know_v whether_o fail_v he_o and_o so_o if_o we_o do_v but_o leave_v to_o our_o own_o wisdom_n we_o shall_v haply_o think_v that_o god_n fail_v lord_n i_o wait_v i_o long_o for_o thy_o appearance_n thou_o be_v enough_o lord_n i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v i_o be_o undo_v without_o thou_o lord_n i_o hear_v the_o poor_a fly_n oh_o how_o it_o fly_v up_o and_o down_o now_o it_o be_v warm_v and_o revive_v with_o the_o warmth_n of_o the_o sun_n yesterday_o it_o lay_v still_o as_o dead_a sure_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n i_o shall_v be_v active_a and_o cheerful_a in_o thy_o service_n no_o marvel_v heaven_n
what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v oh_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozennesse_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o gulity_n of_o but_o special_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o foften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v then_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrasive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_n that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n we_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o our_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n vii_o since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o hard_a my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o a_o do_v to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o
this_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n of_o heart_n that_o be_v the_o just_a reason_n why_o i_o shed_v they_o and_o if_o thou_o shall_v once_o purify_v and_o inflame_v my_o heart_n by_o faith_n and_o love_n i_o shall_v shed_v more_o tear_n for_o my_o wander_a thought_n in_o prayer_n than_o now_o i_o do_v for_o all_o the_o abomination_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o alas_o lord_n the_o ordinary_a day_n of_o thy_o saint_n be_v far_o more_o holy_a than_o the_o day_n i_o set_v apart_o for_o special_a service_n of_o thou_o and_o their_o thought_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o their_o worldly_a business_n be_v more_o devout_a and_o zealous_a than_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o prayer_n be_v always_o with_o thou_o i_o scarce_o do_v any_o thing_n though_o almost_o of_o never_o so_o small_a moment_n but_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o do_v it_o this_o or_o that_o way_n be_v because_o it_o be_v some_o way_n or_o other_o more_o for_o thy_o glory_n lord_n it_o be_v not_o thy_o fault_n for_o thou_o do_v wait_v to_o show_v mercy_n whether_o my_o wretched_a heart_n will_v consent_v to_o it_o or_o no_o this_o i_o do_v set_v down_o as_o a_o infallible_a truth_n and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n give_v thou_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o all_z thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a and_o thou_o do_v stretch_v out_o thy_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o it_o be_v our_o fault_n that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v into_o thy_o bosom_n the_o infidelity_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o be_v in_o our_o bosom_n make_v we_o think_v that_o thou_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o receive_v we_o and_o so_o we_o not_o come_v we_o want_v that_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o that_o will_v if_o we_o have_v it_o make_v we_o not_o so_o timorous_a of_o comng_v to_o thou_o as_o we_o be_v meditat._n xxi_o before_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v i_o know_v i_o have_v more_o cause_n to_o write_v in_o blood_n or_o tear_n then_o in_o ink_n can_v a_o mother_n forget_v her_o child_n it_o be_v not_o can_v a_o child_n forget_v the_o mother_n nor_o be_v it_o can_v a_o mother_n her_o child_n if_o the_o child_n forget_v she_o or_o can_v there_o be_v any_o case_n wherein_o the_o mother_n can_v forget_v her_o child_n lord_n do_v thoo_n awaken_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v asleep_a lord_n do_v thou_o raise_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v dead_a do_v thou_o thaw_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v freeze_v lord_n thou_o be_v that_o celestial_a fire_n that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o i_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a staunch_a what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o say_v to_o my_o god_n lord_n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o she_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n and_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o methinks_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_v piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_n all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n must_v i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v no_o more_o sin_n and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_n behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o enough_o enough_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n that_o one_o look_n upon_o hell_n upon_o whatsoever_o one_o look_n but_o up-christ_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n
i_o shall_v perish_v make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o affliction_n strong_a and_o if_o i_o murmur_v scourge_v i_o while_o i_o leave_v murmur_v how_o true_a do_v i_o find_v that_o say_n he_o that_o injure_v forgive_v not_o my_o wickedness_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o make_v i_o not_o able_a to_o believe_v almost_o that_o thou_o be_v or_o can_v be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v do_v more_o for_o thou_o and_o less_o against_o thou_o i_o shall_v easy_o believe_v thy_o love_n or_o rather_o when_o thy_o spirit_n shall_v shed_v abroad_o thy_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o shall_v know_v thou_o love_v i_o i_o sigh_v and_o mourn_v and_o weep_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o can_v help_v it_o dear_a lord_n let_v my_o tear_n prevail_v with_o thou_o pity_v pity_v have_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a languish_a soul_n that_o be_v even_o gasp_v out_o its_o last_o breath_n it_o grieve_v i_o to_o see_v what_o a_o sad_a condition_n i_o be_o in_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o in_o hell_n and_o by_o thy_o mercy_n i_o may_v never_o come_v thither_o but_o i_o be_o run_v headlong_o thither_o woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n meditat._v xxx_o lord_n i_o pray_v for_o mercy_n and_o when_o i_o have_v they_o to_o see_v the_o unsuitablenesse_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o they_o and_o my_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o bring_v more_o sadness_n upon_o i_o then_o to_o want_v they_o all_o the_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o for_o temporal_a mercy_n both_o in_o carry_v i_o forth_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o and_o concern_v my_o business_n i_o go_v about_o not_o find_v thing_n in_o such_o a_o sad_a condition_n at_o home_n yet_o my_o heart_n be_v the_o same_o still_o as_o hard_o and_o as_o stony_a not_o willing_a to_o yield_v itself_o and_o all_o up_o to_o thou_o as_o if_o i_o be_v more_o able_a to_o order_v matter_n than_o thou_o now_o my_o heart_n be_v subject_a to_o murmur_v that_o it_o be_v so_o hard_a when_o it_o shall_v mourn_v lord_n thou_o have_v do_v enough_o to_o justify_v thy_o love_n and_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n to_o i_o if_o thou_o shall_v never_o do_v more_o and_o not_o only_o thy_o justice_n can_v not_o be_v blame_v but_o not_o thy_o mercy_n my_o dear_a god_n let_v i_o not_o die_v in_o thy_o arm_n of_o love_n except_o i_o must_v die_v and_o then_o let_v i_o die_v in_o thy_o arm_n meditat._v xxxi_o accept_v of_o my_o poor_a prayer_n and_o when_o at_o the_o last_o day_n when_o the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n shall_v be_v know_v the_o hypocrisy_n and_o coldness_n of_o my_o desire_n shall_v be_v know_v and_o thy_o goodness_n shall_v be_v admire_v in_o hear_v such_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v for_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o and_o the_o breathe_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o blow_v upon_o a_o garden_n of_o spice_n be_v not_o so_o much_o for_o the_o advancement_n of_o thy_o freegrace_n as_o for_o thou_o to_o shine_v upon_o and_o thy_o spirit_n to_o breathe_v upon_o such_o a_o dunghill_n as_o i_o be_o that_o send_v forth_o such_o noisome_a savour_n as_o i_o do_v lord_n if_o thou_o will_v be_v my_o god_n i_o have_v a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n i_o will_v give_v thou_o they_o it_o be_v true_a they_o be_v thou_o already_o but_o alas_o if_o i_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o give_v that_o be_v not_o thou_o i_o will_v but_o i_o have_v not_o meditat._n xxxii_o lord_n i_o wait_v to_o see_v the_o day_n of_o my_o salvation_n and_o the_o hour_n when_o thou_o will_v show_v i_o thy_o love_n and_o when_o i_o shall_v lie_v in_o thy_o bosom_n and_o arm_n and_o hear_v the_o beat_n of_o thy_o heart_n in_o love_n and_o the_o sounding_n of_o thy_o bowel_n towards_o i_o and_o know_v thy_o everlasting_a thought_n of_o love_n to_o i_o when_o thou_o shall_v seal_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n to_o i_o and_o make_v i_o read_v the_o counterpain_n of_o the_o covenant_n of_o love_n between_o thou_o and_o i_o which_o thou_o reserve_v in_o heaven_n and_o be_v fair_a and_o not_o blot_v as_o i_o be_v and_o when_o shall_v the_o day_n of_o the_o love_n and_o joy_n of_o my_o espousal_n return_v and_o my_o thought_n be_v swallow_v up_o in_o love_n lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o withhold_v thy_o love_n the_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n can_v thy_o love_n love_n to_o be_v conceal_v from_o thy_o beloved_n i_o will_v wait_v for_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o be_o loath_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n before_o thou_o come_v who_o my_o soul_n love_v for_o fear_v thou_o shall_v come_v when_o i_o be_o not_o look_v for_o thou_o and_o thou_o escape_v i_o i_o look_v every_o prayer_n to_o see_v thou_o come_v leap_v on_o the_o mountain_n and_o skip_a upon_o the_o hill_n as_o a_o row_n or_o a_o hind_n but_o i_o see_v thou_o not_o why_o do_v thou_o put_v a_o spark_n of_o love_n into_o my_o heart_n if_o thou_o will_v leave_v i_o why_o do_v thou_o cast_v thy_o mantle_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o follow_v after_o thou_o say_v what_o have_v thou_o do_v thy_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n sweet_a than_o honey_n even_o more_o to_o be_v desire_v then_o life_n itself_o lord_n if_o the_o small_a spark_n and_o relish_v of_o thy_o love_n be_v so_o sweet_a to_o i_o what_o will_v the_o feed_n on_o this_o heavenly_a manna_n be_v if_o a_o drop_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v so_o sweet_a what_o will_v the_o overflowing_n be_v if_o thy_o smile_n bring_v so_o much_o joy_n what_o will_v thy_o embrace_n do_v lord_n i_o long_o till_o i_o be_o undo_v with_o thy_o love_n all_o my_o carnal_a and_o worldly_a joy_n undo_v lord_n it_o be_v not_o my_o unworthiness_n that_o shall_v hinder_v i_o nor_o will_v hinder_v thou_o from_o bestow_v lord_n help_v my_o unbelief_n well_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v walk_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n yet_o give_v i_o thy_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v stay_v myself_o upon_o thou_o my_o god_n my_o life_n be_v but_o short_a and_o when_o the_o hour_n of_o my_o departure_n shall_v come_v than_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v and_o know_v as_o i_o be_o know_v then_o i_o shall_v forget_v the_o sorrow_n pain_n and_o throw_v of_o my_o travel_n for_o the_o joy_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v my_o bride_n say_v come_v and_o the_o spirit_n say_v come_v come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o meditat._n xxxiii_o i_o wait_v for_o the_o appear_v of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n if_o thy_o love_n be_v as_o fire_n in_o straw_n or_o such_o like_a matter_n lie_v smoke_v and_o make_v one_o eye_n weep_v while_o one_o strive_v to_o find_v the_o fire_n at_o last_o it_o be_v able_a to_o hold_v no_o long_o break_v forth_o into_o a_o great_a flame_n and_o the_o long_o it_o be_v before_o it_o discover_v itself_o the_o great_a be_v the_o flame_n and_o light_n when_o they_o do_v break_v forth_o lord_n while_o i_o be_o look_v for_o thy_o love_n thou_o make_v i_o weary_a let_v the_o length_n of_o thy_o stay_n be_v make_v up_o by_o the_o fullness_n of_o thy_o presence_n and_o greatness_n of_o thy_o manifestation_n when_o thou_o come_v i_o seek_v thou_o in_o my_o prayer_n and_o i_o say_v o_o where_o be_v thou_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v and_o yet_o thou_o send_v i_o away_o weep_v and_o mourn_v i_o seek_v on_o my_o bed_n when_o i_o awake_v in_o the_o night_n but_o i_o find_v thou_o not_o i_o speak_v with_o those_o which_o have_v find_v thou_o and_o they_o tell_v i_o nay_o i_o know_v it_o by_o thy_o word_n that_o thou_o be_v near_o to_o every_o soul_n that_o seek_v thou_o and_o when_o a_o poor_a soul_n cry_v thou_o will_v answer_v it_o than_o i_o multiply_v my_o prayer_n and_o call_v loud_o and_o yet_o my_o prayer_n be_v as_o the_o wind_n that_o pass_v away_o and_z returns_z no_o more_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n thy_o love_n be_v strong_a enough_o to_o make_v thou_o suffer_v and_o thou_o do_v die_v that_o thou_o may_v make_v know_v and_o commend_v thy_o love_n unto_o the_o son_n of_o man_n and_o now_o thou_o have_v do_v all_o this_o to_o manifest_v thy_o love_n and_o will_v thou_o hide_v it_o from_o i_o creature-love_n have_v wrought_v strange_a thing_n in_o i_o i_o have_v never_o be_v weary_a of_o their_o discourse_n and_o humane_a learning_n how_o have_v it_o make_v i_o ravish_v with_o some_o learned_a say_n and_o if_o thou_o will_v discover_v thy_o love_n and_o shed_v that_o abroad_o in_o my_o heart_n certain_o it_o will_v work_v wonder_n for_o the_o creature_n flame_n of_o love_n be_v but_o as_o a_o blaze_n that_o straw_n make_v but_o be_v
out_o on_o other_o i_o be_o not_o move_v nay_o those_o very_a story_n and_o say_n which_o have_v former_o inflame_v i_o now_o be_v as_o spark_n fall_v into_o the_o sea_n warm_v not_o at_o all_o alas_o when_o i_o shall_v meet_v thou_o at_o the_o last_o day_n thy_o mercy_n they_o shall_v testify_v against_o i_o when_o they_o shall_v witness_v my_o slieghting_n of_o they_o my_o fruitlessness_n under_o they_o and_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o what_o can_v i_o say_v alas_o my_o poor_a soul_n we_o be_v undo_v but_o that_o day_n be_v not_o come_v yet_o one_o hour_n more_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v will_v give_v i_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v into_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o i_o be_o afraid_a to_o meet_v thou_o at_o the_o tribunal_n of_o thy_o judgement_n if_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o earth_n methinks_v i_o can_v go_v with_o confidence_n to_o thou_o that_o thou_o will_v hear_v i_o but_o now_o thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n i_o can_v bless_v be_v they_o who_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o believe_v lord_n i_o have_v receive_v double_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n in_o respect_n of_o any_o profit_n or_o pleasure_n i_o have_v have_v by_o they_o i_o have_v have_v full_a measure_n press_v down_o and_o run_v over_o but_o alas_o my_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n be_v more_o gall_n than_o all_o the_o pleasure_n that_o i_o have_v have_v that_o have_v be_v worldly_a the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o the_o discovery_n of_o thy_o love_n can_v be_v recompense_v with_o all_o that_o the_o world_n have_v thy_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n indeed_o in_o respect_n of_o the_o offence_n to_o thou_o every_o prayer_n deserve_v hell_n meditat._n xlv_o lord_n i_o be_o as_o afraid_a of_o comfort_n as_o of_o terror_n for_o when_o i_o have_v comfort_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o pride_n myself_o in_o they_o and_o in_o stead_n of_o have_v sweet_a thought_n of_o thou_o have_v high_a thought_n of_o myself_o affliction_n breed_v sorrow_n and_o comfort_n pride_n sorrow_n be_v better_a than_o pride_n my_o preach_n be_v my_o temptation_n and_o my_o accuser_n if_o i_o preach_v not_o the_o strict_a way_n of_o god_n my_o negligence_n condemn_v i_o and_o if_o i_o do_v my_o sermon_n condemn_v i_o for_o my_o life_n be_v hell_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o publish_v something_o i_o have_v by_o the_o help_n of_o thy_o spirit_n write_v lest_o my_o life_n shall_v do_v more_o harm_n by_o scandal_n than_o the_o writing_n shall_v do_v good_a by_o direct_v to_o holiness_n and_o yet_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o if_o i_o publish_v and_o own_v such_o writing_n they_o will_v be_v a_o strong_a engagement_n to_o live_v more_o holy_o but_o i_o have_v something_o against_o that_o also_o for_o that_o motive_n will_v in_o short_a time_n lose_v its_o strength_n such_o waxen_a wing_n will_v melt_v and_o let_v i_o fall_v to_o my_o former_a way_n and_o that_o holiness_n which_o be_v bear_v up_o with_o such_o carnal_a motive_n be_v a_o poor_a thing_n lord_n how_o be_o i_o distract_v and_o tear_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o thought_n nay_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o go_v with_o these_o burden_n on_o my_o soul_n do_v whatever_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o i_o may_v but_o drudge_n in_o thy_o house_n though_o i_o lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o to_o be_v a_o scullion_n in_o thy_o house_n be_v better_a than_o to_o sit_v at_o the_o table_n of_o prince_n lord_n i_o be_o undo_v except_o thou_o work_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n yet_o if_o i_o be_o undo_v it_o may_v before_o thou_o give_v i_o over_o and_o discover_v i_o to_o the_o world_n thou_o will_v let_v i_o do_v something_o more_o that_o may_v glorify_v thou_o and_o edify_v the_o people_n nay_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v suffer_v i_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v to_o do_v much_o of_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v glory_n lord_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o upright_o yet_o o_o that_o my_o action_n and_o my_o preach_n may_v be_v such_o that_o man_n see_v and_o hear_v they_o may_v be_v stir_v up_o to_o glorify_v thou_o by_o do_v those_o thing_n sincere_o which_o ay_o it_o may_v be_v do_v out_o of_o hypocrisy_n i_o be_o sure_a too_o much_o hypocrisy_n lord_n i_o have_v beg_v for_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o may_v not_o deceive_v i_o nor_o dishonour_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v nay_o lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v i_o be_o undo_v unless_o thou_o do_v work_v mighty_o above_o all_o i_o can_v speak_v or_o think_v according_a to_o that_o mighty_a power_n wherewith_o thou_o do_v raise_v the_o lord_n from_o the_o dead_a o_o that_o i_o may_v be_v so_o raise_v that_o i_o may_v return_v no_o more_o to_o corruption_n meditat._n xlvi_o by_o this_o i_o know_v and_o be_o sensible_a it_o be_v not_o for_o any_o man_n to_o live_v by_o his_o own_o strength_n by_o my_o know_v how_o impossible_a it_o be_v for_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o recover_v without_o thou_o if_o a_o live_a man_n can_v speak_v how_o can_v a_o condemn_a man_n live_v without_o thou_o if_o live_v bone_n can_v move_v how_o can_v dry_a bone_n live_v lord_n thou_o meet_v i_o not_o at_o duty_n thou_o speak_v not_o to_o i_o there_o thou_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o mercy_n and_o i_o answer_v not_o in_o judgement_n and_o i_o carry_v myself_o as_o a_o sleepy_a man_n that_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v awake_v what_o will_v thou_o do_v with_o i_o lord_n when_o i_o will_v neither_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o answer_v thou_o when_o thou_o speak_v o_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o grace_n and_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o mercy_n those_o sin_n i_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o commit_v thou_o have_v take_v from_o i_o the_o opportunity_n to_o commit_v it_o be_v a_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o opportunity_n but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a comfort_n not_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n a_o instance_n according_a to_o the_o rule_v give_v for_o meditate_v on_o the_o scripture_n a_o meditation_n on_o these_o word_n isa._n 66.2_o but_o to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v even_o to_o he_o that_o be_v poor_a and_o of_o a_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n 1._o let_v we_o serious_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o if_o a_o angel_n or_o god_n himself_o from_o heaven_n have_v speak_v these_o word_n in_o our_o hear_n as_o once_o christ_n do_v to_o paul_n when_o he_o be_v go_v to_o damascus_n sure_o i_o think_v they_o will_v have_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n less_o his_o word_n because_o it_o be_v write_v i_o read_v that_o the_o apostle_n 2_o pet._n 1.17_o 18_o 19_o speak_v of_o a_o voice_n that_o he_o himself_o hear_v from_o heaven_n say_v that_o he_o have_v a_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v no_o less_o sure_a that_o the_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n be_v the_o very_a word_n of_o god_n than_o those_o that_o he_o hear_v with_o his_o ear_n then_o let_v we_o not_o be_v less_o affect_v with_o these_o word_n then_o if_o we_o ourselves_o have_v hear_v god_n himself_o speak_v they_o 2._o nor_o let_v we_o think_v that_o they_o less_o concern_v we_o then_o if_o we_o have_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o tell_v we_o what_o he_o will_v have_v we_o to_o be_v and_o do_v and_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n we_o have_v hear_v he_o speak_v to_o we_o from_o heaven_n in_o particular_a to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n for_o doubtless_o god_n have_v not_o cause_v his_o word_n to_o be_v write_v in_o vain_a at_o a_o venture_n for_o whosoever_o shall_v read_v it_o but_o know_v not_o who_o they_o be_v shall_v read_v it_o but_o he_o know_v every_o particular_a person_n to_o who_o hand_n his_o word_n shall_v come_v and_o know_v his_o word_n shall_v come_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o i_o shall_v read_v these_o very_a word_n and_o therefore_o cause_v they_o to_o be_v write_v in_o particular_a for_o my_o sake_n though_o not_o exclusive_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o his_o people_n yet_o paul_n say_v that_o he_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n do_v think_v particular_o of_o paul_n and_o so_o of_o every_o one_o else_o for_o who_o he_o die_v and_o give_v himself_o up_o as_o a_o sacrifice_n and_o ransom_n particular_o think_v on_o and_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o his_o death_n if_o a_o minister_n shall_v go_v to_o one_o that_o be_v give_v to_o swear_v and_o tell_v he_o of_o the_o heinousness_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o lay_v it_o home_o to_o his_o conscience_n in_o private_a it_o general_o do_v affect_v he_o
must_v thou_o much_o desire_n and_o endeavour_v for_o those_o thing_n which_o no_o way_n further_o thou_o in_o this_o great_a business_n of_o know_v serve_a and_o follow_v god_n but_o they_o be_v to_o be_v account_v superfluous_a and_o frivolous_a 2._o consider_v the_o folly_n and_o madness_n of_o those_o who_o live_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v create_v for_o no_o other_o end_n then_o to_o drink_v and_o eat_v and_o sleep_v and_o dance_v and_o game_n or_o to_o get_v riches_n and_o such_o like_a foolery_n certain_o if_o these_o people_n be_v ask_v whether_o they_o do_v in_o their_o conscience_n think_v that_o god_n create_v they_o that_o they_o may_v spend_v their_o life_n in_o dance_v etc._n etc._n they_o can_v not_o say_v yes_o none_o can_v imagine_v that_o have_v any_o understanding_n that_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n god_n will_v ask_v they_o why_o they_o do_v not_o dance_v more_o and_o game_n more_o and_o gain_v more_o riches_n 3._o consider_v serious_o with_o thyself_o whether_o thou_o live_v suitable_a to_o the_o end_n of_o thy_o creation_n think_v with_o thyself_o that_o when_o that_o time_n which_o thou_o spend_v in_o eat_v drink_v sleep_a recreation_n visit_n vanity_n be_v take_v from_o thy_o life_n what_o a_o small_a pittance_n be_v leave_v for_o god_n and_o for_o the_o work_n of_o thy_o particular_a call_n nay_o thy_o sleep_a eat_a drink_v recreation_n shall_v all_o be_v do_v some_o way_n or_o other_o to_o enable_v and_o fit_v thou_o the_o better_a for_o the_o service_n of_o god_n but_o alas_o how_o seldom_o be_v it_o that_o thou_o have_v think_v of_o fit_v thyself_o for_o god_n service_n by_o eat_v drink_v etc._n etc._n nay_o how_o many_o time_n have_v thou_o make_v thyself_o unfit_a for_o god_n service_n by_o such_o thing_n now_o before_o thou_o go_v any_o further_o be_v full_o convince_v of_o these_o truth_n and_o if_o any_o scruple_n shall_v remain_v which_o can_v tho_o a_o man_n be_v but_o true_o rational_a argue_v and_o pray_v they_o away_o for_o though_o it_o may_v be_v some_o objection_n may_v be_v too_o hard_a for_o thy_o argument_n which_o notwithstanding_o seldom_o come_v to_o pass_v since_o thy_o consideration_n must_v be_v of_o truth_n so_o plain_a evident_a and_o obvious_a which_o all_o grant_n yet_o not_o scruple_n will_v be_v too_o hard_a for_o thy_o prayer_n affectione_n 1._o be_v ashamed_a and_o confound_v within_o thyself_o that_o thou_o have_v live_v so_o contrary_a to_o thou_o own_o principle_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v mind_v that_o little_a or_o nothing_o in_o do_v of_o it_o as_o a_o thing_n by_o the_o bye_n which_o now_o thou_o do_v but_o serious_o think_v of_o it_o thou_o plain_o see_v to_o be_v the_o main_a business_n of_o thy_o life_n say_v thus_o alas_o o_o my_o god_n what_o do_v i_o think_v of_o when_o i_o think_v not_o of_o thou_o what_o be_v i_o mindful_a of_o when_o i_o forget_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o we_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n no_o soon_o it_o be_v a_o strange_a thing_n that_o our_o heart_n and_o the_o world_n shall_v so_o far_o deceive_v we_o that_o we_o shall_v prefer_v eveny_v trifle_a thing_n before_o that_o which_o concern_v we_o more_o than_o ten_o thousand_o world_n we_o have_v serve_v the_o world_n which_o be_v not_o make_v but_o to_o serve_v we_o 2._o abhor_v thy_o life_n past_a well_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o leave_v you_o you_o vain_a and_o sinful_a pleasure_n i_o will_v no_o long_o dote_v upon_o you_o you_o have_v but_o too_o long_o bewitch_v my_o soul_n i_o may_v have_v have_v a_o thousand_o holy_a thought_n and_o prayer_n and_o treasure_n of_o alm_n lay_v up_o for_o eternity_n which_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o shall_v not_o have_v repent_v of_o when_o i_o come_v to_o die_v and_o you_o vanity_n have_v take_v up_o my_o time_n and_o steal_v away_o my_o heart_n and_o thought_n from_o these_o thing_n well_o i_o have_v enough_o of_o you_o i_o have_v do_v with_o you_o for_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o strength_n and_o day_n i_o will_v give_v unto_o my_o god_n 3._o turn_v thyself_o to_o god_n and_o say_v bless_a god_n will_v thou_o accept_v of_o the_o service_n of_o a_o poor_a wretch_n that_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o of_o his_o time_n and_o strength_n upon_o base_a lust_n and_o vanity_n nay_o sure_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v accept_v of_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o be_o such_o a_o heart_n such_o love_n such_o service_n as_o i_o have_v i_o will_v give_v to_o thou_o and_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v thou_o shall_v be_v the_o very_a joy_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o deliciousness_n of_o my_o thought_n and_o do_v thou_o indeed_o entreat_v and_o importune_v i_o to_o be_v reconcile_v how_o wonderful_a be_v thy_o mercy_n that_o notwithstanding_o i_o provoke_v thou_o hitherto_o daily_o to_o thy_o face_n yet_o that_o thou_o shall_v follow_v after_o i_o to_o embrace_v i_o whereas_o what_o can_v be_v expect_v but_o that_o thou_o shall_v pursue_v i_o to_o destroy_v i_o resolution_n well_o by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n i_o be_o resolve_v that_o though_o heretofore_o i_o have_v spend_v whole_a day_n in_o such_o and_o such_o like_a recreation_n which_o at_o best_o be_v but_o vanity_n for_o this_o month_n i_o will_v either_o not_o use_v such_o and_o such_o recreation_n at_o all_o or_o at_o least_o spend_v no_o more_o time_n any_o day_n in_o they_o then_o i_o do_v in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n and_o i_o hope_v one_o day_n the_o lord_n will_v work_v in_o i_o such_o a_o heavenly_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n shall_v be_v in_o stead_n of_o a_o thousand_o recreation_n david_n be_v of_o that_o temper_n for_o he_o say_v that_o he_o will_v go_v to_o god_n his_o exceed_a joy_n and_o that_o the_o law_n of_o god_n be_v dear_a to_o he_o then_o thousand_o of_o gold_n or_o silver_n and_o that_o his_o heart_n be_v ready_a to_o break_v for_o the_o very_a desire_n and_o long_n that_o he_o have_v after_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n that_o will_v be_v a_o rare_a time_n when_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o with_o we_o why_o shall_v david_n love_v god_n more_o than_o we_o he_o forgive_v david_n much_o but_o he_o have_v forgive_v we_o more_o well_o o_o my_o soul_n if_o thou_o will_v pray_v hard_a and_o follow_v hard_a after_o god_n thou_o little_o know_v what_o he_o will_v do_v for_o thou_o and_o the_o joy_n that_o he_o have_v lay_v up_o for_o they_o that_o love_v he_o even_o in_o this_o world_n be_v unspeakable_a and_o glorious_a conclusion_n 1._o pray_v lord_n thou_o know_v the_o decitfulnesse_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o strength_n of_o my_o corruption_n and_o the_o multitude_n of_o snare_n and_o temptation_n which_o encompass_v i_o on_o every_o side_n especal_o when_o i_o be_o in_o worldly_a employment_n in_o company_n thou_o know_v how_o subject_a holy_a flame_n be_v to_o go_v out_o therefore_o be_v thou_o please_v by_o the_o holy_a breathe_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o keep_v these_o holy_a fervour_n of_o love_n from_o be_v quench_v it_o be_v not_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o resolution_n that_o can_v enable_v i_o to_o resist_v temptation_n if_o i_o be_o not_o keep_v by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o thou_o my_o god_n i_o be_o lose_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thou_o o_o god_n for_o any_o heavenly_a motion_n or_o desire_n that_o have_v be_v wrought_v in_o i_o thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v thousand_o i_o have_v provoke_v thou_o as_o much_o as_o they_o never_o to_o be_v convince_v of_o or_o affect_v with_o these_o truth_n it_o be_v thy_o wonderful_a mercy_n that_o thou_o do_v make_v i_o for_o such_o a_o bless_a end_n as_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o thyself_o and_o much_o great_a mercy_n that_o thou_o have_v let_v i_o know_v so_o much_o but_o most_o of_o all_o that_o thou_o have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o desire_v and_o endeavour_v after_o it_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o fail_n alas_o lord_n whatsoever_o be_v wrought_v in_o i_o that_o be_v good_a have_v be_v far_o great_a but_o that_o i_o be_o green_a wood_n to_o the_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n lord_n pardon_v the_o iniquity_n of_o my_o holy_a service_n my_o high_a and_o most_o inflame_a thought_n of_o thou_o be_v unworthy_a of_o thou_o it_o be_v well_o that_o i_o have_v thou_o to_o love_n who_o i_o need_v not_o fear_v love_v too_o much_o after_o the_o meditation_n be_v end_v 1._o think_v with_o thyself_o which_o of_o these_o truth_n or_o what_o passage_n of_o this_o meditation_n do_v most_o warm_a thy_o heart_n and_o affect_v thou_o and_o fix_v it_o and_o treasure_n it_o up_o in_o thy_o thought_n keep_v it_o as_o it_o be_v a_o nosegay_n in_o
the_o tongue_n of_o man_n can_v express_v or_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n conceive_v there_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o see_v with_o thy_o eye_n or_o hear_v with_o thy_o ear_n or_o feel_v with_o thy_o hand_n be_v more_o certain_o true_a than_o this_o but_o alas_o because_o thou_o have_v hear_v it_o so_o often_o and_o god_n of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n and_o patience_n have_v not_o make_v thou_o yet_o to_o feel_v the_o stroke_n of_o his_o justice_n and_o the_o misery_n due_a to_o sin_n thou_o will_v not_o believe_v he_o though_o his_o threaten_n be_v never_o so_o clear_o set_v down_o and_o with_o much_o earnestness_n 5._o consider_v against_o what_o precious_a mercy_n what_o sweet_a love_n what_o bless_a experience_n holy_a inspiration_n what_o abundance_n of_o mean_n strong_a resolution_n precious_a promise_n clear_a light_n etc._n etc._n thou_o have_v sin_v affection_n 1._o pray_v to_o god_n to_o help_v to_o a_o further_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfullness_n of_o sin_n bless_a god_n must_v all_o these_o consideration_n pass_v as_o a_o serpent_n on_o a_o stone_n without_o make_v any_o impression_n upon_o my_o soul_n lord_n give_v i_o a_o affect_a knowledge_n of_o the_o sinfullness_n of_o sin_n and_o not_o have_v such_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v have_v but_o grant_v that_o i_o may_v esteem_v of_o sin_n as_o thou_o esteem_v it_o 2._o talk_v with_o thy_o own_o soul_n about_o this_o matter_n o_o my_o soul_n be_v these_o consideration_n true_a or_o false_a if_o thou_o think_v they_o false_a bring_v thy_o objection_n show_v wherein_o the_o error_n lie_v which_o thou_o can_v never_o do_v but_o if_o they_o be_v true_a as_o certain_o they_o be_v how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o we_o have_v make_v nothing_o of_o sin_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o we_o to_o put_v off_o the_o sense_n of_o our_o sin_n until_o it_o be_v too_o late_o 3._o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n alas_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n as_o a_o thief_n be_v ashamed_a when_o he_o be_v take_v or_o as_o a_o woman_n be_v ashamed_a when_o her_o adultery_n be_v find_v out_o by_o her_o love_a husband_n so_o and_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o i_o consider_v how_o abominable_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o how_o that_o i_o have_v commit_v my_o abomination_n even_o in_o thy_o sight_n and_o provoke_v thou_o to_o thy_o face_n and_o have_v not_o thy_o patience_n and_o mercy_n be_v infinite_a thou_o can_v never_o have_v stand_v out_o against_o so_o many_o provocation_n i_o have_v be_v in_o hell_n roar_v and_o blaspheme_v long_o before_o this_o day_n and_o then_o i_o have_v be_v past_o prayer_n and_o past_a mercy_n and_o past_a pardon_n what_o shall_v isay_n unto_o thou_o o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n to_o excuse_v my_o sin_n i_o can_v i_o have_v nothing_o but_o the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n and_o thy_o free_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o fly_v unto_o lord_n lay_v my_o sin_n home_o to_o i_o to_o humble_v i_o and_o to_o break_v my_o stony_a heart_n but_o lay_v they_o not_o to_o my_o charge_n to_o condemn_v i_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o in_o thy_o word_n promise_v forgiveness_n to_o sinner_n through_o jesus_n christ_n i_o can_v no_o more_o hope_n to_o obtain_v pardon_n than_o even_o the_o devil_n themselves_o resolution_n it_o be_v enough_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o too_o too_o much_o that_o we_o have_v be_v undo_v ourselves_o and_o provoke_v god_n thus_o long_o that_o we_o have_v as_o it_o be_v with_o all_o our_o power_n pull_v down_o the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n upon_o we_o and_o as_o it_o be_v kindle_v his_o wrath_n against_o we_o but_o he_o have_v not_o suffer_v his_o whole_a displeasure_n to_o arise_v nor_o suffer_v we_o to_o perish_v though_o we_o will_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o we_o certain_o have_v do_v have_v he_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o the_o power_n and_o malice_n of_o satan_n to_o improve_v they_o to_o our_o destruction_n be_v it_o true_a indeed_o that_o god_n say_v yet_o return_v and_o i_o will_v save_v thou_o do_v he_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n do_v he_o indeed_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o be_v it_o possible_a he_o shall_v be_v so_o gracious_a to_o forgive_v such_o and_o so_o many_o sin_n and_o of_o such_o long_a continuance_n well_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o will_v go_v unto_o he_o and_o never_o offend_v he_o more_o we_o will_v hereafter_o whensoever_o we_o be_v tempt_v unto_o sin_n say_v what_o sin_n against_o such_o love_n such_o mercy_n such_o experience_n offend_v that_o god_n that_o have_v pardon_v we_o that_o have_v do_v such_o thing_n for_o we_o and_o be_v not_o content_a with_o that_o but_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v more_o i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n but_o i_o will_v cry_v out_o unto_o god_n and_o say_v lord_n help_v i_o for_o i_o suffer_v violence_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o in_o some_o measure_n sensible_a that_o i_o pray_v not_o with_o that_o fervency_n and_o reverence_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o shall_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n mend_v that_o i_o be_o too_o passionate_a well_o since_o god_n have_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o forgive_v so_o many_o so_o great_a so_o grievous_a sin_n that_o my_o own_o heart_n be_v not_o able_a to_o understand_v their_o vileness_n or_o number_n i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o be_v trouble_v when_o i_o hear_v my_o neighbour_n or_o underling_n or_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o fellow_n n._n use_v such_o or_o such_o taunt_a word_n against_o i_o i_o will_v not_o be_v provoke_v by_o this_o or_o that_o despite_n or_o contemptuous_a trick_n that_o he_o or_o she_o do_v use_v against_o i_o but_o rather_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o say_v or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o gain_v his_o good_a will_n and_o to_o pacify_v his_o anger_n conceive_v against_o i_o for_o certain_o his_o injury_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o god_n forgive_v i_o they_o there_o be_v a_o difference_n between_o i._o n._n and_o i_o i_o be_o resolve_v i_o will_v go_v to_o he_o and_o be_v reconcile_v this_o very_a day_n or_o if_o i_o can_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o and_o speak_v well_o of_o he_o this_o very_a day_n if_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o at_o all_o howsoever_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o now_o conclusion_n 1._o pray_v desire_v god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v thy_o detestation_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v as_o well_o hate_v sin_n as_o leave_v sin_n and_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v any_o spark_n that_o have_v be_v kindle_v by_o his_o own_o spirit_n go_v out_o in_o thou_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o beg_v riches_n i_o can_v go_v to_o heaven_n without_o they_o please_v thou_o without_o they_o but_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o grace_n and_o strength_n against_o corruption_n pardon_v of_o sin_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o these_o i_o be_o undo_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v in_o any_o measure_n affect_v with_o the_o hatred_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v in_o any_o measure_n know_v and_o consider_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o to_o drop_v into_o hell_n and_o never_o to_o have_v think_v of_o it_o before_o i_o have_v be_v there_o but_o thou_o have_v not_o deal_v so_o with_o i_o 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o own_o unworthiness_n of_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o god_n have_v exercise_v towards_o thou_o thy_o inability_n to_o think_v any_o of_o those_o good_a thought_n that_o thou_o have_v have_v etc._n etc._n as_o be_v in_o the_o first_o meditation_n after_o all_o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat_fw-la iv_o of_o death_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v for_o his_o assistance_n consideration_n 1._o can_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o such_o a_o one_o when_o he_o die_v do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o his_o countenance_n fail_v his_o eyestring_n break_v how_o he_o grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a at_o last_o grow_v speechless_a how_o he_o throttle_v in_o the_o throat_n how_o his_o tooth_n grate_v how_o he_o sweat_v and_o struggle_v for_o life_n and_o at_o last_o gasp_v and_o die_v consider_v that_o thus_o thou_o must_v do_v likewise_o how_o soon_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v that_o thou_o
be_v well_o now_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o be_v young_a and_o strong_a now_o be_v nothing_o for_o how_o many_o be_v there_o that_o have_v be_v strong_a and_o well_o and_o as_o young_a as_o thou_o within_o a_o very_a few_o day_n after_o have_v be_v in_o their_o grave_n that_o thou_o must_v die_v be_v certain_a when_o where_o how_o none_o know_v but_o he_o that_o make_v thou_o only_o this_o be_v true_a that_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v 2._o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o end_n of_o the_o world_n as_o to_o thou_o thou_o must_v leave_v riches_n friend_n wife_n child_n house_n land_n and_o thy_o own_o body_n also_o thy_o friend_n may_v stand_v weep_v by_o but_o they_o can_v prolong_v thy_o life_n one_o minute_n 3._o consider_v that_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o die_v it_o will_v certain_o not_o repent_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n in_o prayer_n so_o much_o in_o meditation_n so_o much_o in_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v never_o know_v since_o the_o world_n begin_v that_o any_o one_o do_v then_o say_v o_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v less_o though_o these_o holy_a duty_n now_o seem_v irksome_a and_o troublesome_a to_o thou_o doubtless_o than_o they_o shall_v bring_v more_o comfort_n to_o thou_o than_o all_o those_o riches_n and_o vanity_n in_o which_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n and_o take_v so_o much_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n be_v certain_a and_o infallible_a our_o understanding_n can_v o_o that_o our_o life_n do_v not_o deny_v they_o consider_v how_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n will_v hasten_v thy_o filthy_a carcase_n out_o of_o the_o door_n they_o will_v scarce_o dare_v to_o stay_v with_o it_o alone_o but_o say_v as_o abraham_n do_v let_v i_o bury_v my_o dead_a out_o of_o my_o sight_n and_o then_o how_o seldom_o will_v they_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o thou_o or_o if_o they_o do_v what_o good_a will_v it_o do_v thou_o 5._o consider_v alas_o poor_a man_n whether_o will_v thy_o soul_n go_v then_o to_o hell_n or_o to_o heaven_n do_v thou_o know_v to_o which_o do_v thou_o not_o think_v thou_o shall_v go_v that_o way_n which_o thou_o have_v go_v all_o thy_o life_n long_o if_o thou_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o hell_n how_o can_v thou_o imagine_v that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o journey_n thou_o shall_v arrive_v at_o heaven_n 6._o consider_v what_o good_a will_v all_o thy_o wealth_n all_o thy_o pleasure_n all_o thy_o vanity_n do_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n they_o will_v all_o vanish_v as_o do_v the_o morning_n dew_n alas_o who_o know_v not_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o yet_o not_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o consider_v and_o lay_v they_o to_o heart_n and_o to_o know_v these_o truth_n and_o live_v unsuitable_o to_o they_o do_v but_o add_v to_o our_o folly_n and_o madness_n o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a say_v god_n that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n these_o serious_a consideration_n of_o our_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o chief_a point_n of_o wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n 7._o consider_v if_o thou_o miscarry_v in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o concernment_n viz._n thy_o death_n thou_o be_v undo_v for_o ever_o if_o thou_o may_v live_v again_o and_o mend_v that_o error_n which_o thou_o commit_v in_o thy_o die_a ill_a than_o there_o be_v some_o hope_n but_o it_o be_v appoint_v for_o all_o man_n once_o to_o die_v and_o but_o once_o affection_n 1._o abhor_v sin_n it_o be_v you_o and_o you_o only_o that_o can_v make_v that_o hour_n miserable_a unto_o i_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n though_o we_o now_o have_v slight_a thought_n of_o such_o and_o such_o sin_n through_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o satan_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n yet_o at_o that_o hour_n if_o we_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n we_o will_v give_v they_o all_o for_o that_o which_o we_o have_v so_o little_o regard_v while_o we_o live_v viz._n that_o we_o have_v keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n and_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n 2._o despise_v the_o world_n o_o you_o vanity_n and_o foolery_n of_o the_o world_n why_o shall_v i_o spend_v my_o time_n and_o strength_n in_o follow_v after_o you_o what_o have_v you_o do_v for_o i_o or_o what_o can_v you_o do_v when_o i_o shall_v stand_v most_o in_o need_n of_o comfort_n you_o will_v not_o only_o prove_v vanity_n but_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n solomon_n have_v try_v you_o and_o he_o have_v from_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o you_o be_v but_o vanity_n and_o all_o man_n when_o they_o come_v to_o die_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o this_o truth_n shall_v i_o to_o my_o own_o destruction_n yield_v to_o your_o enticement_n why_o shall_v i_o not_o have_v the_o same_o opinion_n of_o you_o now_o as_o i_o certain_o shall_v have_v when_o i_o come_v to_o die_v 3._o humble_a thyself_o before_o god_n and_o cast_v thyself_o into_o his_o arm_n of_o love_n beg_v wisdom_n of_o he_o every_o night_n i_o be_o a_o day_n near_o my_o grave_n then_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_o near_a to_o it_o but_o lord_n make_v i_o fit_a for_o my_o grave_n and_o when_o that_o hour_n shall_v come_v let_v it_o not_o come_v as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n to_o rob_v i_o of_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o rather_o than_o that_o hour_n shall_v not_o be_v a_o happy_a hour_n let_v my_o whole_a life_n be_v nothing_o but_o affliction_n and_o misery_n alas_o lord_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o this_o petition_v what_o will_v thou_o give_v i_o thou_o have_v say_v o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n and_o i_o say_v lord_n teach_v i_o so_o to_o number_v my_o day_n that_o i_o may_v apply_v my_o heart_n to_o wisdom_n resolution_n o_o my_o soul_n since_o thing_n be_v thus_o let_v we_o not_o resist_v know_v truth_n shall_v we_o neglect_v these_o truth_n because_o they_o be_v plain_a if_o they_o be_v abstruse_a than_o we_o doubt_v they_o if_o they_o be_v plain_a shall_v we_o despise_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v how_o soon_o thou_o shall_v die_v then_o what_o have_v we_o to_o do_v that_o must_v be_v do_v before_o we_o die_v do_v it_o with_o all_o thy_o might_n for_o the_o night_n come_v wherein_n no_o man_n work_v my_o child_n be_v not_o yet_o sufficient_o instruct_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n i_o will_v set_v apart_o half_a a_o hour_n in_o a_o day_n to_o instruct_v they_o for_o this_o month_n or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a every_o time_n i_o miss_v there_o be_v such_o a_o neighbour_n or_o acquaintance_n who_o go_v on_o in_o wicked_a way_n and_o my_o word_n have_v so_o much_o power_n with_o he_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o bless_v i_o in_o the_o work_n and_o take_v he_o private_o and_o lay_v before_o he_o his_o danger_n and_o press_v he_o to_o holiness_n he_o may_v be_v wrought_v upon_o i_o have_v omit_v it_o hitherto_o but_o i_o be_o resolve_v sometime_o within_o a_o week_n to_o take_v some_o opportunity_n to_o speak_v serious_o and_o home_o unto_o he_o or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o so_o every_o week_n give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a until_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o he_o etc._n etc._n and_o since_o it_o so_o much_o concern_v i_o to_o be_v prepare_v for_o death_n i_o will_v every_o day_n make_v it_o one_o special_a clause_n of_o my_o prayer_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v fit_v i_o for_o that_o hour_n and_o i_o will_v lay_v up_o treasury_n in_o heaven_n by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a and_o make_v myself_o friend_n of_o this_o unrighteous_a mammon_n that_o when_o i_o fail_v they_o may_v receive_v i_o into_o their_o habitation_n conclusion_n 1._o pray_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v in_o thou_o strong_a spiritual_a apprehension_n of_o death_n and_o that_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n may_v embitter_v every_o unlawful_a pleasure_n to_o thou_o say_v unto_o god_n lord_n how_o few_o day_n be_v between_o i_o and_o eternity_n whether_o of_o horror_n or_o of_o glory_n i_o be_o not_o yet_o full_o satisfy_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n that_o a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a concernment_n i_o shall_v be_v uncertain_a of_o o_o bless_a god_n let_v this_o meditation_n so_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o cease_v to_o pray_v unto_o thou_o and_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o use_v all_o holy_a mean_n for_o the_o make_n of_o my_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a for_o very_o short_o i_o shall_v be_v pass_v pray_v past_o examine_v for_o when_o thou_o shall_v summon_v i_o out_o of_o this_o life_n than_o
thought_n of_o they_o have_v thou_o such_o a_o full_a assurance_n or_o be_v thy_o life_n such_o that_o thou_o need_v not_o fear_v be_v not_o moses_n and_o john_n as_o holy_a as_o thou_o be_v not_o john_n the_o belove_a disciple_n and_o moses_n one_o with_o who_o god_n speak_v face_n to_o face_n and_o yet_o they_o tremble_v o_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v much_o to_o be_v fear_v that_o it_o be_v ignorance_n and_o infidelity_n not_o a_o gospel-assurance_n that_o make_v thou_o so_o senseless_a nay_o it_o be_v infallible_o certain_a that_o whosoever_o live_v wicked_o and_o tremble_v not_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o judgement_n it_o proceed_v from_o a_o conscience_n sear_v with_o a_o hot_a iron_n 2._o admire_v and_o be_v astonish_v at_o the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o all_o those_o that_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n such_o be_v all_o they_o that_o repent_v not_o and_o believe_v not_o the_o gospel_n 3._o examine_v and_o try_v thyself_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o that_o we_o be_v not_o judge_v we_o may_v easy_o know_v what_o question_n shall_v be_v put_v to_o we_o that_o day_n we_o must_v be_v judge_v by_o the_o word_n of_o god_n then_o let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o by_o it_o now_o do_v we_o indeed_o strive_v to_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o straight_a gate_n may_v that_o which_o we_o do_v in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n be_v true_o call_v strive_v or_o not_o can_v a_o saint_n prayer_n be_v call_v strive_v or_o not_o when_o every_o temptation_n at_o the_o first_o assault_n overcome_v thou_o and_o thou_o fight_v not_o a_o stroke_n be_v this_o strive_n be_v this_o to_o fight_v a_o good_a fight_n and_o resist_n unto_o blood_n do_v we_o think_v that_o god_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n will_v avouch_v this_o strive_n nay_o can_v our_o own_o conscience_n think_v it_o so_o now_o be_v not_o deceive_v god_n be_v not_o mock_v 4._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o be_v the_o great_a and_o just_a judge_n of_o all_o man_n be_v please_v to_o fit_v and_o prepare_v i_o for_o that_o that_o that_o day_n may_v not_o come_v so_o as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n as_o to_o rob_v i_o of_o all_o my_o comfort_n deal_v with_o i_o how_o it_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n afflict_v i_o chastise_v i_o only_o let_v i_o be_v save_v in_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n 5._o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o true_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v to_o do_v and_o how_o we_o be_v to_o live_v that_o when_o other_o at_o that_o day_n shall_v call_v to_o the_o hill_n and_o to_o the_o mountain_n to_o fall_v upon_o they_o and_o to_o hide_v they_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lamb_n we_o may_v lift_v up_o our_o head_n because_o our_o salvation_n draw_v near_o well_o o_o my_o soul_n i_o read_v in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n that_o the_o neglect_v to_o judge_v ourselves_o and_o the_o judge_n of_o other_o be_v two_o sin_n that_o will_v cause_v all_o those_o to_o be_v judge_v and_o condemn_v that_o live_v in_o they_o therefore_o i_o be_o resolve_v by_o the_o gracious_a assistance_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v never_o to_o censure_v or_o judge_v any_o one_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o frequent_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o as_o frequent_o and_o severe_o to_o judge_v myself_o as_o former_o i_o have_v use_v to_o censure_n and_o judge_v other_o and_o to_o use_v as_o much_o lenity_n mildness_n in_o judge_v and_o censure_v other_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o censure_v my_o own_o way_n and_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v ill_a of_o any_o one_o i_o will_v if_o i_o remember_v it_o when_o i_o be_o before_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n not_o only_o beg_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o rash_a judge_n but_o as_o much_o as_o in_o i_o lie_v make_v he_o some_o restitution_n by_o put_v up_o as_o many_o prayer_n for_o he_o as_o i_o have_v speak_v evil_a thing_n of_o he_o and_o let_v we_o further_o resolve_v of_o my_o soul_n and_o by_o thy_o bless_a assistance_n o_o god_n i_o be_o resolve_v and_o do_v promise_n before_o thou_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v frequent_o and_o i_o beseech_v thou_o that_o i_o may_v always_o do_v it_o before_o i_o do_v or_o speak_v any_o thing_n consider_v whether_o i_o dare_v own_o that_o action_n or_o that_o word_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n and_o if_o i_o dare_v not_o own_v it_o i_o will_v not_o dare_v to_o do_v or_o speak_v it_o and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o think_v of_o omit_v of_o any_o holy_a duty_n and_o think_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o excuse_n will_v serve_v i_o will_v bring_v it_o before_o the_o judgement_n seat_n of_o god_n by_o serious_o consider_v with_o myself_o whether_o in_o my_o conscience_n i_o think_v that_o god_n will_v take_v that_o for_o a_o sufficient_a excuse_n at_o that_o great_a day_n for_o the_o conclusion_n of_o this_o exercise_n i_o refer_v you_o to_o the_o conclusion_n of_o the_o former_a meditation_n for_o i_o be_o loath_a that_o this_o manual_a shall_v swell_v too_o much_o meditat_fw-la vi_o of_o hell_n be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o greatness_n of_o these_o torment_n certain_o if_o god_n so_o heavy_o afflict_v his_o own_o people_n as_o he_o do_v job_n heman_n and_o divers_a of_o his_o people_n who_o have_v be_v in_o dissertion_n many_o year_n how_o sad_a be_v the_o expression_n of_o david_n he_o say_v he_o roar_v for_o the_o disquietness_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o how_o many_o sad_a expression_n have_v job_n that_o he_o have_v not_o time_n to_o swallow_v his_o spittle_n and_o how_o that_o he_o choose_v rather_o a_o strangle_a then_o life_n and_o many_o other_o exceed_v sad_a expression_n which_o can_v never_o have_v proceed_v from_o a_o holy_a man_n who_o be_v set_v before_o we_o as_o a_o pattern_n of_o patience_n if_o his_o affliction_n have_v not_o be_v very_o great_a and_o heman_n say_v that_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v so_o great_a that_o he_o be_v almost_o distract_v with_o they_o and_o so_o from_o his_o youth_n up_o until_o that_o time_n that_o he_o write_v that_o psalm_n psal_n 88_o if_o this_o be_v do_v to_o the_o green_a tree_n what_o shall_v be_v do_v to_o the_o dry_a and_o if_o god_n chastise_v his_o people_n with_o such_o rod_n what_o scorpion_n shall_v the_o damn_a be_v scourge_v with_o and_o if_o the_o righteous_a have_v be_v thus_o afflict_v toss_v with_o tempest_n and_o not_o comfort_v where_o shall_v the_o wicked_a and_o ungodly_a appear_v what_o shall_v the_o portion_n of_o their_o cup_n be_v even_o the_o dregs_o of_o the_o vial_n of_o god_n wrath_n for_o upon_o the_o wicked_a he_o shall_v rain_v snare_n fire_n and_o brimstone_n and_o a_o horrible_a tempest_n 2._o consider_v what_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n be_v if_o we_o do_v true_o and_o serious_o consider_v how_o much_o those_o word_n signify_v when_o our_o saviour_n say_v my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a to_o the_o death_n we_o shall_v be_v help_v to_o understand_v what_o our_o saviour_n sorrow_n be_v if_o the_o wise_a holy_a and_o patient_a man_n in_o the_o world_n who_o be_v not_o oppress_v or_o distemper_v at_o all_o by_o reason_n of_o any_o bodily_a distemper_n of_o melancholy_n i_o say_v if_o such_o a_o man_n shall_v come_v to_o a_o intimate_a bosom_n friend_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a countenance_n shall_v tell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o ready_a to_o die_v because_o of_o the_o abundance_n of_o grief_n and_o sadness_n that_o lie_v upon_o his_o spirit_n will_v not_o this_o argue_v that_o his_o sorrow_n be_v exceed_o great_a especial_o when_o his_o friend_n never_o hear_v he_o to_o complain_v in_o all_o his_o life_n though_o the_o injury_n and_o suffering_n have_v be_v very_o great_a all_o along_o if_o he_o shall_v further_o say_v unto_o his_o friend_n i_o beseech_v you_o to_o watch_v with_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v argue_v a_o heart_n overwhelm_v with_o grief_n now_o i_o say_v for_o our_o saviour_n to_o say_v so_o to_o his_o disciple_n and_o afterward_o to_o sweat_v blood_n o_o what_o unknown_a sorrow_n do_v our_o saviour_n feel_v how_o then_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o the_o wicked_a to_o escape_v when_o god_n spare_v not_o his_o own_o son_n though_o he_o be_v but_o a_o surety_n and_o those_o sorrow_n that_o make_v he_o groan_v will_v crush_v thou_o to_o piece_n woe_n be_v to_o that_o man_n that_o be_v to_o satisfy_v the_o justice_n of_o god_n in_o his_o own_o person_n 3._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o sad_a aggravate_v concommitant_n of_o these_o torment_n every_o member_n and_o faculty_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n shall_v be_v torment_v here_o if_o our_o head_n ache_v may_v be_v our_o heart_n
we_o yet_o worthy_a of_o thou_o that_o delight_v to_o magnify_v thy_o goodness_n that_o rejoic_a over_o thy_o people_n as_o the_o bridegroom_n rejoice_v over_o his_o bride_n despise_v the_o world_n what_o be_v the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o be_v there_o here_o to_o be_v desire_v but_o sin_n and_o misery_n snare_n and_o temptation_n vanity_n of_o vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n one_o hour_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n that_o he_o have_v give_v to_o his_o people_n in_o this_o world_n be_v worth_n more_o than_o the_o world_n can_v know_v of_o why_o do_v we_o spend_v our_o strength_n and_o money_n for_o that_o which_o be_v not_o bread_n and_o our_o labour_n for_o that_o which_o do_v not_o satisfy_v o_o vain_a world_n god_n have_v outbid_v thou_o thou_o offer_v trifle_n he_o offer_v i_o heaven_n for_o my_o love_n and_o service_n though_o my_o love_n be_v unworthy_a too_o little_a for_o he_o yet_o it_o be_v too_o much_o too_o good_a for_o thou_o 3._o long_o for_o and_o breathe_v after_o heaven_n as_o the_o hart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o soul_n thirst_v for_o god_n for_o the_o live_a god_n when_o shall_v i_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o god_n when_o shall_v i_o be_v deliver_v from_o my_o absence_n from_o thou_o and_o from_o my_o ignorance_n of_o thou_o make_v haste_n o_o my_o belove_a and_o be_v thou_o like_o a_o roe_n or_o a_o young_a hart_n upon_o the_o mountain_n of_o spice_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v and_o the_o bride_n say_v come_v and_o the_o bridegroom_n say_v sure_o i_o come_v quick_o even_o so_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o 4._o encourage_v and_o stir_v up_o thyself_o to_o the_o love_n and_o service_n of_o god_n come_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o be_v steadfast_a and_o unmoveable_a always_o abound_v in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n forasmuch_o as_o we_o know_v that_o our_o labour_n be_v not_o in_o vain_a in_o the_o lord_n let_v we_o not_o be_v weary_a of_o well_o do_v nor_o of_o the_o labour_n of_o love_n for_o we_o shall_v reap_v if_o we_o faint_v not_o we_o have_v know_v and_o in_o some_o measure_n endeavour_v to_o serve_v god_n thus_o many_o year_n be_v it_o not_o a_o sad_a thing_n for_o the_o want_n of_o continue_v one_o year_n one_o month_n it_o may_v be_v but_o one_o week_n or_o one_o day_n more_o i_o shall_v lose_v all_o my_o hope_n and_o expectation_n of_o glory_n god_n forbid_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o encourage_v ourselves_o in_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v not_o keep_v by_o our_o own_o but_o by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o god_n through_o faith_n to_o salvation_n and_o be_v thou_o assure_v of_o this_o that_o the_o first_o minute_n thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n thou_o shall_v have_v such_o full_a measure_n prese_v down_o heap_v up_o and_o run_v over_o that_o thou_o shall_v break_v forth_o in_o the_o song_n of_o joy_n and_o praise_n to_o all_o eternity_n magnify_v admire_v and_o adore_v god_n that_o ever_o he_o give_v thou_o leave_v and_o grace_n to_o serve_v he_o then_o shall_v thou_o see_v and_o so_o thy_o experience_n shall_v make_v thou_o confess_v with_o joy_n and_o wonder_n that_o the_o light_a affliction_n and_o labour_n of_o love_n that_o thou_o endure_v in_o this_o life_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v compare_v to_o the_o joy_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v in_o thou_o when_o at_o any_o time_n thou_o begin_v to_o be_v weary_a look_n to_o the_o price_n of_o thy_o high_a call_n and_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o heaven_n thou_o shall_v admire_v when_o thou_o see_v how_o abundant_o thou_o be_v over-recompensed_n and_o thou_o will_v have_v just_a cause_n to_o say_v lord_n what_o be_v this_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o alas_o what_o be_v the_o thing_n that_o i_o either_o do_v or_o suffer_v in_o thy_o service_n what_o be_v my_o filthy_a rag_n that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o such_o a_o robe_n and_o crown_n of_o glory_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o we_o do_v weep_v now_o the_o time_n be_v at_o hand_n when_o god_n will_v wipe_v all_o tear_n from_o our_o eye_n o_o my_o soul_n these_o thing_n can_v be_v believe_v and_o slight_v and_o understand_v and_o neglect_v if_o thou_o do_v not_o believe_v they_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n be_v they_o too_o glorious_a thing_n for_o god_n to_o bestow_v upon_o such_o wretched_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o set_v bound_n to_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o say_v hitherto_o thou_o shall_v go_v and_o no_o further_o nay_o doubtless_o since_o god_n have_v say_v that_o he_o will_v do_v that_o which_o shall_v glorify_v his_o goodness_n to_o his_o people_n the_o incredibility_n of_o it_o make_v it_o more_o credible_a but_o if_o thou_o be_v convince_v of_o the_o truth_n why_o be_v thou_o not_o affect_v with_o the_o excellency_n of_o these_o joy_n do_v thou_o not_o relish_v they_o well_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o will_v meditate_v more_o of_o these_o thing_n i_o will_v by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a lie_v up_o my_o treasure_n in_o heaven_n i_o will_v part_v with_o such_o and_o such_o vain_a delight_n for_o it_o i_o will_v spend_v more_o time_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o praise_v admire_a and_o adore_v of_o he_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a by_o frequent_a perform_v of_o these_o duty_n i_o may_v at_o last_o taste_n and_o relish_v the_o incomprehensible_a sweetness_n of_o they_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enamour_v more_o of_o heaven_n and_o because_o all_o my_o endeavour_n be_v in_o vain_a if_o the_o lord_n reveal_v not_o these_o thing_n unto_o i_o therefore_o i_o will_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v discover_v the_o riches_n of_o his_o goodness_n to_o i_o i_o have_v not_o be_v careful_a enough_o nor_o sensible_a enough_o of_o sin_n of_o omission_n when_o i_o have_v have_v no_o just_a thing_n to_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n yet_o i_o have_v not_o think_v of_o thou_o henceforth_o when_o my_o heart_n be_v affect_v with_o thy_o excellency_n thy_o love_n thy_o mercy_n i_o will_v praise_v thou_o when_o it_o be_v not_o i_o will_v pray_v to_o thou_o that_o it_o may_v and_o for_o my_o master-sinne_n my_o iniquity_n i_o will_v be_v most_o frequent_a in_o those_o duty_n that_o be_v most_o contrary_a to_o it_o i_o will_v especial_o in_o my_o read_n of_o scripture_n take_v notice_n of_o and_o write_v down_o those_o place_n and_o those_o example_n that_o be_v most_o proper_a for_o the_o cure_n i_o will_v speak_v against_o my_o iniquity_n that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v i_o may_v thereby_o the_o more_o engage_v myself_o to_o leave_v it_o meditat_fw-la vii_o of_o the_o excellency_n of_o christ_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o desire_v of_o he_o who_o only_o can_v to_o manifest_v the_o excellency_n of_o christ_n unto_o thou_o considration_n 1._o consider_v that_o if_o the_o holy_a man_n that_o ever_o live_v live_v near_o thou_o what_o high_a expectation_n will_v thou_o have_v of_o his_o carriage_n and_o conference_n when_o thou_o see_v his_o zeal_n and_o patience_n etc._n etc._n but_o no_o man_n live_v ever_o without_o sin_n therefore_o suppose_v a_o angel_n shall_v take_v upon_o he_o humane_a nature_n and_o live_v among_o we_o with_o what_o inflame_a expression_n and_o affection_n will_v he_o speak_v of_o god_n of_o heaven_n and_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v spiritual_a but_o alas_o his_o carriage_n his_o holiness_n his_o wisdom_n be_v as_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n for_o there_o be_v not_o any_o word_n or_o action_n that_o ever_o christ_n speak_v or_o do_v that_o if_o all_o the_o angel_n of_o heaven_n have_v study_v and_o set_v down_o how_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v do_v or_o they_o themselves_o shall_v have_v be_v to_o have_v do_v it_o they_o can_v not_o have_v equal_v it_o nay_o even_o god_n the_o father_n have_v he_o take_v our_o nature_n he_o will_v not_o have_v speak_v or_o do_v any_o word_n or_o thing_n which_o shall_v have_v have_v in_o respect_n of_o itself_o or_o any_o circumstance_n more_o holiness_n or_o wisdom_n than_o christ_n word_n and_o action_n have_v so_o that_o certain_o in_o this_o respect_n he_o that_o see_v christ_n see_v the_o father_n as_o he_o himself_o say_v 2._o consider_v the_o wonderful_a wisdom_n of_o christ_n certtain_o he_o be_v great_a than_o solomon_n for_o though_o he_o be_v the_o humble_a man_n that_o ever_o live_v yet_o he_o himself_o say_v so_o nor_o do_v it_o any_o more_o argue_v pride_n in_o christ_n to_o say_v that_o he_o be_v wise_a than_o solomon_n than_o it_o will_v have_v argue_v in_o solomon_n that_o he_o know_v more_o than_o a_o newborn_a babe_n when_o his_o most_o most_o malicious_a