pray_v thus_o o_o my_o creator_n thou_o see_v how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o thy_o goodness_n be_v most_o wonderful_a my_o wickedness_n be_v most_o uncurable_a and_o unsufferable_a o_o make_v a_o speedy_a end_n of_o my_o sin_n which_o way_n soever_o it_o please_v thou_o &_o bless_v for_o evermore_o be_v thy_o name_n amen_n the_o morrow_n i_o straggle_v not_o abroad_o but_o my_o affection_n be_v very_o unruly_a yea_o and_o that_o which_o be_v strange_a i_o can_v not_o frame_v my_o mind_n to_o take_v any_o deep_a conceit_n of_o the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n thus_o it_o be_v when_o a_o man_n heart_n be_v settle_v in_o the_o love_n of_o any_o evil_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o think_v so_o of_o it_o as_o it_o be_v friday_n the_o first_o of_o july_n i_o dine_v with_o a_o guest_n a_o learned_a friend_n of_o i_o who_o take_v occasion_n to_o speak_v somewhat_o sharp_o against_o precisian_n this_o i_o think_v he_o do_v the_o rather_o because_o some_o inform_v he_o that_o i_o be_v too_o familiar_a with_o such_o people_n therefore_o to_o satisfy_v both_o that_o minister_n &_o all_o other_o who_o it_o may_v concern_v i_o most_o humble_o crave_v the_o benefit_n of_o modest_a liberty_n to_o speak_v without_o offence_n what_o my_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n think_v touch_v this_o division_n it_o have_v be_v a_o mean_n of_o great_a advantage_n both_o to_o popery_n &_o profaneness_n yea_o this_o wretchedness_n be_v cause_v by_o it_o upon_o either_o side_n diverse_a have_v nothing_o else_o to_o commend_v they_o but_o only_o this_o that_o they_o be_v of_o that_o side_n yea_o and_o the_o side_n be_v glad_a to_o make_v use_n of_o they_o be_v it_o not_o a_o lamentable_a case_n that_o some_o appear_v to_o have_v almost_o no_o conscience_n but_o against_o ceremony_n other_o none_o but_o for_o ceremony_n the_o precisian_n do_v in_o my_o conscience_n not_o without_o great_a cause_n cry_v out_o against_o ignorant_a idle_a and_o profane_a minister_n but_o where_o be_v the_o fault_n the_o coast_n have_v be_v well_o clear_v by_o this_o time_n of_o the_o day_n have_v not_o satan_n cause_v church-government_n to_o be_v both_o by_o way_n of_o soberness_n and_o in_o the_o fashion_n of_o maddenes_n very_o fierce_o assail_v but_o to_o what_o end_n to_o reform_v the_o church_n no_o to_o deform_v it_o this_o be_v my_o belief_n concern_v church-government_n can_v any_o man_n true_o say_v such_o a_o lord_n bishop_n do_v not_o seek_v his_o own_o worldly_a commodity_n but_o the_o edify_n of_o his_o diocese_n and_o the_o glory_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v it_o evident_o appear_v that_o his_o whole_a bent_n be_v in_o the_o diligent_a discharge_n of_o his_o office_n to_o approve_v himself_o unto_o god_n and_o unto_o every_o conscience_n of_o man_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n then_o will_v i_o conclude_v upon_o my_o soul_n peril_n there_o be_v the_o apostolical_a church-governement_n of_o jesus_n christ_n if_o any_o such_o there_o be_v who_o can_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n be_v true_o so_o report_v of_o the_o calamity_n be_v great_a the_o judgement_n very_o fearful_a yet_o because_o of_o personal_a fault_n to_o destroy_v a_o divine_a ordinance_n and_o bring_v in_o confusion_n the_o calamity_n will_v be_v great_a the_o judgement_n more_o fearful_a indeed_o church-discipline_n be_v not_o reverence_v for_o want_v of_o holy_a severity_n the_o punishment_n of_o fornication_n and_o adultery_n etc._n etc._n be_v little_a else_o but_o large_a fee_n a_o filthy_a gain_n fie_o upon_o it_o i_o will_v entreat_v leave_n to_o speak_v once_o more_o touch_v the_o ministry_n beside_o what_o i_o have_v by_o the_o way_n signify_v already_o i_o humble_o pray_v great_a scholar_n and_o all_o that_o seek_v after_o riches_n and_o advancement_n in_o the_o church_n to_o ponder_v these_o my_o word_n the_o gospel_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n must_v and_o will_v first_o throw_v down_o pride_n and_o covetousness_n before_o it_o work_v a_o universal_a good_a in_o this_o kingdom_n those_o two_o great_a sin_n can_v be_v uphold_v any_o way_n but_o only_o by_o popery_n for_o they_o must_v be_v accompany_v with_o a_o superstitious_a conceit_n that_o pomp_n be_v religion_n which_o when_o all_o have_v say_v what_o they_o can_v say_v the_o gospel_n will_v not_o endure_v so_o i_o have_v do_v the_o same_o friday_n after_o that_o i_o have_v dine_v it_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n to_o go_v into_o the_o town_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v but_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o heart_n no_o desire_n to_o go_v therefore_o come_v into_o my_o chamber_n i_o begin_v to_o wonder_v at_o myself_o what_o shall_v ail_v i_o fear_v lest_o some_o secret_a deadliness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o heart_n at_o last_o i_o break_v out_o into_o these_o word_n whatsoever_o be_v the_o cause_n bless_a be_v the_o name_n of_o god_n o_o good_a lord_n let_v whatsoever_o come_v upon_o i_o so_o that_o my_o spirit_n may_v be_v settle_v in_o this_o disposition_n and_o i_o shall_v be_v bind_v to_o praise_v thou_o most_o joyful_o for_o evermore_o amen_n that_o day_n i_o keep_v myself_o within_o and_o the_o morrow_n and_o the_o sabbath_n day_n have_v get_v one_o to_o supply_v my_o place_n all_o the_o next_o week_n i_o continue_v so_o and_o the_o sabbath_n follow_v my_o place_n be_v supply_v by_o one_o preacher_n in_o the_o forenoon_n and_o a_o other_o in_o the_o afternoon_n wednesday_n the_o thirteen_o of_o july_n i_o still_o keep_v within_o pray_v thus_o o_o most_o holy_a and_o dreadful_a lord_n god_n with_o what_o face_n can_v so_o heinous_a a_o sinner_n as_o i_o be_o dare_v to_o speak_v unto_o thy_o most_o glorious_a majesty_n or_o be_v so_o bold_a to_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o thy_o most_o wonderful_a goodness_n embolden_v i_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v i_o be_o past_a grace_n because_o sin_n do_v so_o abound_v in_o i_o o_o lord_n my_o sin_n be_v as_o the_o sand_n of_o the_o sea_n unnumberable_a &_o therefore_o my_o soul_n must_v needs_o be_v thorough_o and_o thorough_o stain_v for_o every_o sin_n so_o often_o as_o it_o be_v yield_v unto_o work_v a_o black_a blemish_n into_o my_o soul_n woe_n be_v i_o my_o soul_n be_v whole_o overrun_v with_o a_o most_o foul_a filthy_a leprosy_n this_o be_v all_o my_o comfort_n that_o thy_o servant_n say_v rom._n 5.20_o where_o sin_n abound_v grace_n do_v much_o more_o abound_v the_o more_o deadly_a the_o disease_n the_o more_o sovereign_a the_o medicine_n the_o more_o excellent_a the_o physician_n that_o cure_v it_o o_o god_n thou_o be_v able_a to_o do_v whatsoever_o powerful_a work_n thou_o will_v yea_o thou_o can_v do_v infinite_o more_o than_o thou_o will_v but_o here_o be_v the_o great_a wonder_n that_o thou_o shall_v vouchsafe_v to_o work_v a_o most_o admirable_a cure_n upon_o he_o unto_o who_o thou_o may_v most_v just_o say_v away_o from_o i_o thou_o most_o damnable_a sinner_n away_o out_o of_o my_o light_n i_o will_v not_o pardon_v thou_o because_o thou_o have_v most_o grievous_o displease_v and_o unpardonable_o dishonour_v i_o in_o break_v the_o law_n of_o my_o kingdom_n in_o refuse_v my_o proffer_a grace_n in_o take_v upon_o thou_o to_o be_v a_o preacher_n of_o my_o righteousness_n and_o deny_v the_o power_n thereof_o yet_o bless_a lord_n so_o long_o as_o the_o judge_n do_v not_o give_v order_n that_o the_o condemn_a prisoner_n be_v take_v from_o the_o bar_n the_o poor_a wretch_n cry_v for_o his_o precious_a life_n say_v mercy_n good_a my_o lord_n judge_n mercy_n for_o jesus_n christ_n sake_n the_o name_n jesus_n with_o a_o earthly_a christian_a judge_n can_v but_o be_v of_o great_a force_n &_o must_v needs_o move_v he_o very_o much_o for_o it_o be_v the_o name_n of_o his_o dear_a saviour_n the_o only_a name_n whereby_o he_o trust_v to_o be_v save_v but_o of_o all_o and_o above_o all_o the_o name_n jesus_n be_v most_o precious_a in_o thy_o sight_n be_v not_o superstitious_o parrate_v but_o mournful_o present_v unto_o thou_o therefore_o though_o a_o thousand_o thousand_o several_a inditement_n be_v find_v against_o i_o and_o though_o the_o law_n of_o thy_o kingdom_n do_v condemn_v i_o yet_o see_v that_o it_o be_v thy_o good_a pleasure_n to_o suffer_v i_o to_o stand_v in_o thy_o presence_n and_o not_o to_o be_v take_v out_o of_o this_o world_n i_o cry_v unto_o thou_o say_v mercy_n lord_n god_n almighty_a mercy_n for_o thy_o only_o beget_v son_n sake_n jesus_n christ_n god_n &_o man_n crucify_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o bless_a lord_n be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o the_o worst_a of_o all_o sinner_n amen_n amen_n towards_o evening_n i_o be_v punish_v with_o the_o hot_a passage_n of_o my_o water_n painfulness_n about_o the_o left_a kidnie_n and_o burn_v of_o the_o right_a foot_n be_v much_o afraid_a of_o a_o deadly_a
will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v myself_o unto_o open_a shame_n for_o every_o sin_n which_o thenceforth_o i_o shall_v open_o commit_v in_o word_n or_o deed_n yea_o i_o say_v thus_o much_o unto_o he_o that_o open_a sin_n which_o i_o shall_v witting_o let_v pass_v without_o open_a confession_n do_v thou_o never_o forgive_v i_o do_v humble_o crave_v aid_n of_o every_o christian_n which_o shall_v read_v or_o hear_v this_o as_o my_o disease_n be_v very_o torment_v so_o my_o state_n be_v too_o too_o uncomfortable_a eccles_n 4.10_o woe_n to_o he_o that_o be_v alone_o when_o he_o fall_v for_o he_o have_v not_o another_o to_o help_v he_o up_o i_o must_v sit_v and_o endure_v my_o grief_n with_o silence_n for_o to_o who_o shall_v i_o complain_v or_o what_o shall_v i_o ease_v myself_o by_o complain_v the_o proverb_n be_v not_o more_o old_a than_o true_a every_o man_n be_v for_o himself_o and_o god_n for_o all_o if_o the_o latter_a part_n hold_v not_o very_o true_a i_o be_v woe_n begone_v for_o the_o first_o be_v too_o true_a but_o what_o aid_n do_v i_o crave_v of_o the_o reader_n or_o hearer_n i_o beseech_v you_o that_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n and_o christianity_n you_o will_v very_o earnest_o entreat_v our_o lord_n god_n to_o be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o and_o if_o it_o may_v possible_o stand_v with_o his_o holy_a will_n to_o grant_v i_o ease_v of_o this_o irksome_a torment_n amen_n amen_n that_o sabbath_n day_n at_o night_n i_o have_v somewhat_o more_o conscionable_o keep_v that_o sabbath_n day_n then_o ever_o before_o praise_v god_n thus_o o_o most_o merciful_a father_n with_o all_o my_o heart_n i_o humble_o thank_v thou_o for_o this_o very_a little_a entracne_n into_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n good_a lord_n my_o soul_n be_v yet_o wretched_o tangle_v in_o sin_n free_v i_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n and_o humble_v i_o to_o the_o very_a uttermost_a that_o may_v be_v through_o jesus_n christ_n thy_o only_a son_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n amen_n then_o also_o i_o begin_v to_o sing_v my_o evening_n psalm_n which_o be_v not_o in_o double_a meet_a as_o that_o unto_o who_o tune_n i_o have_v set_v it_o because_o i_o neither_o have_v leisure_n nor_o mind_n to_o be_v so_o curious_a ¶_o my_o evening_n psalm_n to_o the_o tune_n of_o all_o people_n that_o on_o earth_n do_v dwell_v o_o god_n that_o be_v most_o wonderful_a the_o fountain_n of_o all_o blessedness_n i_o most_o unfit_a to_o sing_v to_o thou_o yet_o need_v thy_o mercy_n must_v confess_v needs_o must_v i_o for_o i_o be_o most_o bind_v therefore_o o_o lord_n i_o thou_o entreat_v for_o to_o prepare_v my_o heart_n and_o tongue_n thy_o mercy_n due_o to_o repeat_v so_o soon_o as_o i_o into_o this_o world_n by_o birth_n be_v bear_v thou_o cause_v i_o to_o be_v baptize_v in_o thy_o name_n in_o sign_n of_o my_o delivery_n delivery_n from_o satan_n thrall_n and_o from_o the_o house_n of_o bondage_n hell_n that_o with_o thou_o and_o with_o thy_o christ_n in_o everlasting_a bliss_n may_v dwell_v and_o when_o i_o be_v of_o age_n to_o learn_v thou_o do_v acquaint_v i_o with_o thy_o grace_n move_a my_o heart_n to_o turn_v from_o sin_n and_o thy_o salvation_n to_o embrace_v but_o i_o most_o foolish_o do_v love_v this_o world_n and_o give_v myself_o to_o sin_n defer_v time_n from_o day_n to_o day_n and_o to_o repent_v will_v not_o begin_v yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o sin_n and_o manifold_a iniquity_n yea_o such_o most_o heinous_a wickedness_n as_o always_o do_v for_o vengeance_n cry_v so_o great_a thy_o mercy_n be_v to_o i_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o my_o soul_n forsake_v but_o patient_o do_v use_v all_o mean_n to_o save_v i_o from_o the_o burn_a lake_n and_o now_o at_o last_o with_o much_o ado_n a_o little_a i_o be_o turn_v from_o sin_n a_o little_a very_o small_a it_o be_v i_o do_v repentance_n but_o begin_v yet_o lord_n my_o soul_n do_v trust_v that_o thou_o will_v small_a beginning_n not_o despise_v but_o grant_v i_o grace_v turn_v to_o thou_o by_o small_a degree_n for_o to_o arise_v so_o be_v it_o o_o most_o gracious_a god_n be_v it_o even_o so_o for_o christ_n his_o sake_n i_o do_v believe_v therefore_o i_o speak_v thy_o child_n i_o trust_v thou_o will_v i_o make_v o_o father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n thou_o only_o god_n and_o lord_n of_o all_o thy_o name_n be_v bless_v evermore_o of_o all_o thy_o creature_n great_a and_o small_a amen_n amen_n amen_o say_v i_o god_n name_n for_o ever_o bless_v be_v o_o heaven_n o_o earth_n o_o creature_n all_o say_v you_o amen_o amen_n with_o i_o i_o most_o hearty_o desire_v that_o every_o one_o that_o have_v not_o more_o experience_n in_o devotion_n than_o i_o will_v take_v this_o my_o counsel_n accustom_v yourself_o to_o pray_v &_o to_o sing_v oftentimes_o unto_o god_n let_v your_o prayer_n and_o song_n be_v such_o matter_n as_o be_v fit_v for_o one_o in_o your_o state_n to_o speak_v unto_o god_n whether_o it_o be_v confession_n of_o sin_n beg_v of_o pardon_n and_o cleansement_n from_o sin_n or_o thanksgiving_n etc._n etc._n and_o that_o which_o you_o speak_v unto_o the_o lord_n by_o way_n of_o pray_v or_o sing_v let_v it_o not_o only_o be_v word_n of_o mouth_n but_o lift_v up_o the_o thought_n of_o your_o heart_n and_o think_v every_o word_n direct_o unto_o god_n as_o you_o will_v do_v if_o you_o do_v see_v his_o glorious_a majesty_n with_o your_o bodily_a eye_n be_v well_o assure_v and_o steadfast_o mind_v that_o he_o look_v full_a upon_o you_o and_o mark_v all_o your_o behaviour_n yea_o and_o above_o all_o thing_n take_v most_o heedful_a insight_n of_o your_o thought_n and_o affection_n for_o long_a than_o you_o steadfast_o think_v upon_o he_o your_o word_n in_o prayer_n please_v he_o not_o and_o unless_o your_o desire_n be_v very_o earnest_a he_o will_v not_o regard_v your_o petition_n therefore_o enforce_v your_o mind_n to_o think_v very_o intend_o upon_o god_n and_o labour_n to_o have_v a_o hungry_a and_o thirsty_a desire_n of_o that_o which_o you_o pray_v for_o you_o see_v that_o i_o have_v often_o set_v down_o the_o word_n amen_n yea_o and_o sometime_o double_v it_o my_o reason_n be_v because_o i_o will_v be_v very_o earnest_a and_o effectual_o fervent_a in_o my_o desire_n our_o saviour_n show_v we_o how_o earnest_a and_o importunate_a we_o shall_v be_v in_o pray_v unto_o god_n i_o pray_v you_o consider_v his_o word_n luk._n 11.5_o which_o of_o you_o have_v a_o friend_n and_o shall_v go_v unto_o he_o at_o midnight_n and_o say_v unto_o he_o friend_n lend_v i_o three_o loaf_n 6._o for_o a_o friend_n of_o i_o in_o his_o journey_n be_v come_v unto_o i_o &_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o set_v before_o he_o 7._o and_o he_o from_o within_o shall_v answer_v and_o say_v trouble_v i_o not_o the_o door_n be_v now_o shut_v and_o my_o child_n be_v with_o i_o in_o in_o bed_n i_o can_v rise_v and_o give_v thou_o 8._o i_o say_v unto_o you_o though_o he_o will_v not_o rise_v and_o give_v he_o because_o he_o be_v his_o friend_n yet_o because_o of_o his_o importunity_n he_o will_v rise_v and_o give_v he_o so_o many_o loaf_n as_o he_o need_v our_o lord_n meaning_n be_v that_o as_o many_o a_o man_n in_o his_o necessity_n will_v have_v no_o denial_n but_o be_v so_o importunate_o earnest_a that_o the_o party_n to_o who_o he_o make_v suit_n have_v no_o other_o way_n to_o be_v quiet_a but_o only_o by_o grant_v his_o request_n so_o ought_v we_o to_o behave_v ourselves_o in_o prayer_n to_o god_n most_o vehement_o cry_v unto_o he_o for_o mercy_n and_o ever_o and_o anon_o pray_v again_o and_o again_o as_o christ_n himself_o do_v in_o the_o garden_n not_o cease_v until_o he_o do_v as_o certain_o he_o will_v show_v himself_o very_o merciful_a unto_o us._n if_o we_o ought_v to_o pray_v so_o earnest_o and_o so_o often_o woe_n be_v my_o heart_n for_o many_o a_o poor_a soul_n that_o seldom_o or_o never_o pray_v but_o when_o he_o be_v lay_v down_o in_o his_o bed_n and_o then_o say_v his_o paternoster_n and_o creed_n between_o sleep_v &_o wake_v make_v none_o other_o reckon_n but_o this_o that_o the_o very_a bare_a say_n of_o those_o thing_n serve_v the_o turn_n sure_o it_o be_v popery_n that_o have_v bring_v the_o world_n to_o this_o senseless_a state_n by_o teach_v folk_n to_o pray_v in_o a_o unknown_a tongue_n and_o to_o say_v prayer_n by_o set_a number_n and_o tale_n as_o folk_n buy_v and_o sell_v apple_n and_o pear_n when_o i_o be_v a_o child_n i_o now_o and_o then_o lie_v with_o some_o elder_a body_n who_o be_v in_o bed_n will_v begin_v to_o say_v the_o lord_n prayer_n &_o by_o and_o by_o slumber_n then_o awake_a and_o begin_v again_o and_o present_o fall_v asleep_a again_o if_o this_o be_v true_a as_o i_o take_v the_o lord_n god_n to_o witness_v that_o very_o true_a it_o be_v what_o do_v it_o show_v sure_o this_o that_o the_o common_a sort_n of_o people_n run_v snuggle_v all_o day_n after_o their_o worldly_a business_n and_o then_o at_o night_n kennel_n up_o themselves_o like_o so_o many_o bruit_n beast_n little_a or_o never_o a_o whit_n mind_v that_o which_o they_o shall_v principal_o intend_v their_o conversion_n from_o sin_n and_o their_o reasonable_a understanding_n serve_v of_o god_n in_o all_o that_o they_o think_v say_v or_o do_v whosoever_o be_v in_o this_o slumber_a state_n i_o beseech_v you_o that_o for_o god_n sake_n you_o will_v awaken_v your_o soul_n and_o do_v as_o the_o lord_n jesus_n will_v you_o matth._n 6.33_o seek_v you_o first_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o his_o righteousness_n and_o then_o all_o other_o necessary_n shall_v be_v add_v unto_o you_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n be_v like_a unto_o the_o vantage_n which_o many_o time_n be_v give_v into_o a_o bargain_n therefore_o let_v your_o chief_a care_n be_v to_o make_v sure_a your_o salvation_n and_o then_o your_o good_a heavenly_a father_n will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o lack_v any_o thing_n that_o be_v good_a for_o you_o o_o i_o pray_v you_o believe_v it_o and_o build_v upon_o it_o for_o he_o have_v give_v his_o word_n and_o promise_n hear_v he_o what_o he_o say_v heb._n 13.5_o i_o will_v not_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o accustom_v yourselves_o as_o i_o say_v before_o to_o pray_v often_o and_o earnest_o unto_o god_n and_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o jesus_n christ_n you_o shall_v find_v that_o he_o will_v most_o gracious_o and_o kind_o acquaint_v himself_o with_o your_o soul_n o_o then_o you_o will_v remember_v these_o my_o word_n &_o say_v now_o god_n blessing_n light_n upon_o that_o same_o poor_a minister_n which_o give_v i_o this_o counsel_n i_o will_v not_o that_o i_o have_v miss_v it_o for_o all_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n be_v worth_a yea_o you_o will_v most_o hearty_o praise_v the_o lord_n god_n that_o it_o please_v he_o by_o so_o simple_a a_o man_n as_o i_o be_o to_o set_v you_o into_o the_o way_n of_o unutterable_a blessedness_n by_o no_o mean_n suffer_v your_o private_a prayer_n to_o be_v hear_v of_o other_o for_o than_o it_o be_v a_o hundred_o to_o one_o that_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o privy_a pride_n of_o your_o own_o heart_n will_v mar_v all_o and_o make_v your_o devotion_n loathsome_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n if_o you_o be_v a_o housekeeper_n and_o have_v a_o wife_n or_o any_o child_n or_o servant_n use_v to_o pray_v together_o with_o they_o daily_o unless_o you_o mean_v to_o make_v they_o heathen_a people_n such_o as_o have_v none_o acquaintance_n with_o god_n this_o matter_n be_v so_o far_o out_o of_o request_n that_o many_o will_v laugh_v they_o to_o scorn_v which_o pray_v with_o their_o household_n whereby_o a_o man_n of_o any_o understanding_n may_v consider_v into_o what_o a_o wretched_a state_n the_o world_n be_v come_v now_o christian_a soul_n whosoever_o you_o be_v the_o grace_n &_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v with_o you_o for_o ever_o thus_o much_o i_o be_o exceed_o desirous_a to_o have_v print_v before_o i_o die_v if_o god_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v any_o increase_n of_o life_n and_o grace_n you_o may_v be_v sure_a that_o i_o will_v do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o acquaint_v you_o with_o it_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v do_v and_o bless_v be_v his_o name_n for_o evermore_o amen_n finis_fw-la
father_n will_v know_v unto_o man_n and_o be_v that_o party_n concern_v who_o the_o father_n give_v his_o word_n that_o he_o will_v send_v he_o into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n the_o three_o person_n in_o the_o godhead_n be_v the_o holy_a ghost_n who_o proceed_v from_o the_o father_n and_o from_o the_o son_n and_o therefore_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o they_o both_o and_o he_o be_v in_o either_o of_o they_o both_o also_o both_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n be_v in_o he_o he_o be_v call_v the_o spirit_n not_o so_o much_o to_o signify_v his_o nature_n as_o to_o show_v his_o proceed_n because_o he_o be_v spire_v that_o be_v as_o it_o be_v breathe_v from_o the_o father_n and_o from_o the_o son_n he_o be_v call_v holy_a not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o holiness_n of_o his_o nature_n which_o be_v all_o one_o with_o the_o father_n and_o with_o the_o son_n but_o because_o he_o do_v sanctify_v that_o be_v make_v holy_a all_o those_o which_o shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 1.4_o all_o and_o every_o outward_a work_n of_o god_n come_v from_o the_o father_n through_o the_o son_n and_o by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n the_o father_n begin_v every_o work_n of_o himself_o work_v in_o and_o through_o the_o son_n also_o in_o and_o by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n therefore_o the_o make_n and_o begin_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n be_v entitle_v unto_o he_o the_o son_n work_v in_o and_o from_o the_o father_n in_o and_z by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n therefore_o the_o redemption_n and_o saviourship_n go_v in_o his_o name_n because_o he_o take_v unto_o he_o a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n and_o so_o be_v both_o god_n &_o man_n purchase_v our_o salvation_n and_o save_v we_o in_o and_o from_o his_o father_n in_o and_z by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n joh._n 4.19_o the_o son_n can_v do_v nothing_o of_o himself_o mat._n 12.28_o but_o if_o i_o cast_v out_o devil_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o holy_a ghost_n work_v in_o and_o from_o the_o father_n in_o and_z from_o the_o son_n and_o so_o by_o himself_o finish_v every_o work_n of_o god_n special_o the_o sanctify_a and_o cleanse_v of_o they_o which_o shall_v be_v save_v and_o therefore_o he_o be_v call_v the_o sanctifier_n or_o the_o cleanser_n thus_o much_o of_o the_o three_o person_n in_o one_o god_n now_o whereas_o the_o lord_n say_v i_o be_o thy_o god_n the_o meaning_n be_v i_o save_v thou_o from_o all_o evil_a and_o bring_v thou_o to_o everlasting_a bliss_n gen._n 15.1_o but_o what_o proof_n have_v i_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v my_o god_n he_o further_o say_v which_o have_v bring_v thou_o out_o of_o the_o land_n of_o egypt_n out_o of_o the_o house_n of_o bondage_n these_o word_n be_v indeed_o first_o speak_v &_o write_v unto_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n who_o god_n deliver_v out_o of_o the_o slavish_a bondage_n and_o great_a misery_n which_o they_o have_v long_o endure_v under_o king_n pharaoh_n in_o egypt_n now_o i_o ought_v to_o take_v the_o same_o word_n as_o speak_v of_o god_n unto_o i_o for_o as_o god_n make_v the_o isralite_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o red_a sea_n and_o therein_o drown_v the_o egyptian_n so_o he_o cause_v i_o to_o be_v baptize_v and_o sprinkle_v with_o water_n in_o his_o name_n even_o in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o father_n and_o of_o the_o son_n &_o of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n &_o so_o by_o a_o holy_a sacramental_a signification_n make_v i_o pass_v through_o the_o red_a sea_n of_o christ_n blood_n wherein_o all_o the_o enemy_n of_o my_o salvation_n be_v as_o if_o they_o be_v drown_v so_o disable_v that_o unless_o i_o foolish_o yield_v unto_o they_o they_o can_v prevail_v against_o i_o rom._n 6.3_o neither_o do_v god_n only_o give_v unto_o i_o that_o outward_a sign_n and_o seal_v of_o salvation_n but_o also_o when_o i_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v cause_v i_o to_o hear_v yea_o and_o to_o read_v yea_o and_o in_o some_o good_a measure_n to_o perceive_v the_o gospel_n of_o his_o grace_n wherein_o he_o proffer_v unto_o i_o his_o gracious_a love_n and_o therewithal_o such_o a_o portion_n of_o his_o heavenly_a blessing_n in_o jesus_n christ_n as_o shall_v make_v i_o to_o be_v lovely_a and_o please_a in_o his_o sight_n but_o upon_o what_o condition_n do_v god_n proffer_v this_o grace_n unto_o i_o upon_o this_o condition_n exod._n 20.3_o thou_o shall_v have_v none_o other_o god_n before_o my_o face_n these_o word_n be_v consider_v together_o with_o the_o verse_n next_o before_o do_v contain_v a_o double_a condition_n first_o that_o i_o shall_v take_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v my_o god_n second_o that_o i_o shall_v have_v none_o other_o to_o be_v my_o god_n beside_o he_o how_o shall_v i_o take_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v my_o god_n by_o perform_v these_o four_o duty_n first_o to_o be_v continual_o mindful_a that_o i_o be_o before_o his_o face_n gen._n 17.1_o second_o to_o esteem_v his_o favour_n to_o be_v my_o only_a felicity_n and_o therefore_o above_o all_o thing_n to_o love_v he_o and_o desire_v to_o enjoy_v his_o favourable_a kindness_n luk._n 14.26_o three_o to_o be_v always_o very_o fearful_a of_o displease_v he_o prou._n 28.14_o four_o to_o settle_v all_o my_o trust_n and_o confidence_n in_o he_o jer._n 17.5.6.7_o how_o have_v i_o perform_v these_o duty_n first_o i_o have_v not_o be_v mindful_a of_o god_n presence_n for_o both_o be_v alone_o and_o in_o company_n my_o mind_n have_v be_v so_o far_o from_o that_o duty_n as_o if_o there_o have_v be_v in_o my_o belief_n no_o god_n at_o all_o second_o i_o have_v all_o my_o life_n long_o more_o esteem_v love_a and_o desire_v worldly_a pleasure_n and_o profit_n yea_o vain_a toy_n and_o trifle_n than_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n i_o have_v a_o far_o off_o think_v upon_o god_n as_o of_o a_o thing_n at_o the_o furthermost_a end_n of_o all_o the_o world_n and_o therefore_o my_o affection_n be_v always_o wed_v unto_o thing_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v near_o unto_o i_o though_o indeed_o nothing_o can_v be_v so_o near_o unto_o i_o as_o he_o be_v for_o in_o he_o i_o live_v and_o move_v and_o have_v my_o be_v three_o i_o have_v now_o and_o then_o some_o small_a fear_n of_o god_n but_o it_o sudden_o vanish_v away_o and_o therefore_o i_o plunge_v myself_o into_o a_o sea_n of_o sin_n not_o make_v conscience_n of_o one_o thought_n word_n or_o deed_n among_o a_o thousand_o four_o i_o have_v no_o right_a trust_n in_o god_n for_o that_o can_v not_o be_v without_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n i_o oftentimes_o use_v unwarrantable_a mean_n to_o help_v myself_o and_o so_o do_v none_o that_o right_o trust_v in_o god_n this_o have_v be_v the_o inside_n of_o my_o life_n not_o only_o before_o but_o also_o ever_o since_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o ministry_n and_o withal_o my_o heart_n i_o wish_v that_o i_o have_v no_o fellow_n for_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o i_o have_v very_o many_o if_o such_o there_o be_v i_o humble_o entreat_v they_o to_o take_v true_a knowledge_n in_o how_o dangerous_a a_o state_n they_o be_v i_o trust_v that_o god_n have_v pardon_v my_o parent_n and_o bringer_n up_o the_o ground_n of_o all_o my_o misery_n next_o after_o the_o evil_a inclination_n which_o i_o bring_v with_o i_o into_o this_o world_n be_v the_o evil_a season_n of_o my_o heart_n in_o my_o tender_a year_n be_v a_o little_a boy_n i_o be_v train_v to_o delight_v in_o a_o dog_n &_o a_o cat_n therefore_o i_o remember_v the_o dog_n name_n yet_o and_o have_v love_v dog_n and_o cat_n ever_o since_o those_o and_o other_o vain_a thing_n i_o be_v enure_v to_o love_n when_o my_o heart_n shall_v have_v be_v take_v up_o and_o fill_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n i_o be_v fear_v with_o buggbeares_a and_o spirit_n when_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v frame_v to_o fear_v god_n also_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o take_v a_o pride_n in_o this_o and_o that_o to_o be_v angry_a and_o revengeful_a against_o some_o one_o thing_n or_o other_o to_o mock_v scorn_n misse-call_a and_o speak_v naughty_a word_n unto_o such_o or_o such_o a_o one_o thus_o common_o for_o aught_o that_o i_o know_v be_v the_o heart_n of_o child_n season_v and_o thus_o their_o soul_n be_v die_v in_o the_o black_a colour_n of_o hell_n be_v inward_o thus_o behave_v i_o be_v a_o little_a teach_v outward_a religion_n that_o be_v to_o say_v the_o lord_n prayer_n and_o the_o creed_n by_o rote_n to_o go_v to_o church_n upon_o sabbath_n day_n and_o hear_v service_n yea_o &_o after_o that_o i_o can_v read_v to_o answer_v the_o minister_n in_o the_o say_n of_o psalm_n etc._n etc._n have_v do_v thus_o what_o hear_v service_n yea_o help_v to_o say_v service_n say_v the_o lord_n prayer_n and_o the_o creed_n and_o so_o forth_o oh_o i_o think_v i_o
no_o wisdom_n nor_o safety_n in_o so_o do_v four_o though_o in_o purpose_v to_o speak_v this_o or_o that_o your_o mind_n be_v very_o upright_o yet_o make_v careful_a choice_n of_o word_n and_o phrase_n for_o that_o which_o be_v utter_v one_o way_n can_v not_o be_v ill_o take_v may_v in_o a_o other_o suit_n of_o word_n seem_v very_o harsh_a and_o be_v likely_a to_o do_v more_o harm_n then_o good_a o_o for_o a_o mortify_a minister_n he_o will_v not_o speak_v thus_o and_o thus_o because_o he_o will_v but_o so_o and_o so_o because_o he_o be_v will_v this_o if_o i_o mistake_v not_o may_v be_v call_v the_o meekness_n of_o wisdom_n which_o whatsoever_o any_o man_n can_v say_v to_o the_o contrary_a do_v most_o befit_v a_o minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n special_o in_o these_o latter_a day_n wherein_o natural_a corruption_n take_v upon_o it_o to_o be_v zealous_a and_o precise_a for_o god_n glory_n you_o need_v not_o ask_v i_o whether_o in_o that_o my_o great_a danger_n i_o vow_v unto_o god_n a_o strict_a reformation_n of_o life_n i_o do_v indeed_o but_o when_o my_o danger_n be_v over_o i_o perform_v not_o my_o vow_n now_o i_o must_v fetch_v a_o compass_n back_o again_o to_o speak_v of_o my_o disease_n and_o of_o some_o trouble_v withal_o my_o body_n have_v be_v windy_a and_o rheumatic_a from_o my_o childhood_n by_o a_o natural_a distemper_n as_o i_o take_v it_o of_o my_o liver_n the_o hotenesse_n whereof_o have_v cause_v much_o evil_n unto_o i_o in_o the_o winter_n six_o hundred_o and_o six_o i_o then_o be_v curate_n of_o southfleet_n in_o kent_n after_o a_o extreme_a cough_n do_v sensible_o perceive_v blindness_n enter_v into_o my_o eye_n for_o diverse_a moat_n seem_v to_o fly_v before_o i_o which_o way_n soever_o i_o turn_v my_o sight_n yea_o and_o special_o before_o my_o right_a eye_n a_o thing_n in_o fashion_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o chain_n sometime_o fold_v or_o turn_v diverse_a way_n and_o sometime_o at_o length_n what_o infirmity_n in_o the_o eye_n cause_v this_o appearance_n let_v learned_a physician_n judge_v thus_o it_o have_v all_o this_o while_n be_v with_o i_o increase_v more_o and_o more_o so_o that_o now_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o write_v or_o to_o read_v and_o be_o force_v to_o hold_v my_o eye_n and_o the_o book_n very_o near_o together_o the_o next_o winter_n after_o in_o the_o great_a frost_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o windy_a disease_n in_o the_o low_a part_n of_o my_o breast_n which_o so_o grievous_o vex_v i_o that_o i_o look_v for_o nothing_o but_o death_n in_o the_o very_a extremity_n of_o this_o painfulness_n doctor_n barlow_n then_o bishop_n of_o rochester_n who_o not_o long_o before_o by_o the_o death_n of_o mr._n winter_n come_v to_o have_v the_o parsonage_n of_o southfleet_n where_o i_o be_v curate_n be_v by_o some_o through_o my_o own_o undiscretion_n incense_v against_o i_o take_v a_o occasion_n to_o put_v i_o out_o of_o the_o curatship_n about_o that_o time_n i_o do_v set_v forth_o a_o little_a book_n call_v the_o burden_n of_o a_o load_a conscience_n which_o have_v occasion_v many_o heavy_a burden_n to_o be_v lay_v upon_o i_o by_o those_o who_o holiness_n be_v know_v unto_o god_n and_o not_o unto_o i_o a_o many_o precise_a folk_n that_o know_v not_o other_o man_n heart_n howsoever_o they_o know_v their_o own_o my_o old_a kind_a schoolfellow_n mr._n william_n eyre_n fellow_n in_o emanuel_n college_n who_o twice_o before_o have_v be_v my_o refuge_n under_o god_n understand_v that_o i_o be_v without_o place_n do_v by_o mean_n of_o mr._n john_n cotton_n fellow_n in_o the_o same_o college_n help_v i_o to_o the_o curateship_n of_o s._n alkmunds_n in_o derby_n of_o derbyshier_n there_o i_o be_v a_o year_n and_o a_o quarter_n very_o love_o use_v my_o stipend_n be_v full_o so_o much_o as_o ever_o before_o also_o m._n robert_n bate_v of_o little_a chester_n give_v i_o my_o diet_n and_o lodging_n all_o that_o time_n his_o wife_n a_o virtuous_a woman_n now_o in_o heaven_n have_v a_o very_a tender_a care_n of_o i_o because_o of_o my_o sickness_n unwise_o i_o leave_v that_o place_n and_o put_v myself_o into_o a_o world_n of_o trouble_n by_o take_v the_o curateship_n of_o all-hallows_n in_o the_o same_o town_n in_o this_o great_a and_o burdenous_a charge_n i_o have_v now_o be_v almost_o five_o year_n during_o this_o time_n my_o windy_a disease_n together_o with_o a_o faintness_n grow_v so_o upon_o i_o that_o i_o fall_v into_o diverse_a deadly_a fit_n of_o the_o cholike_a not_o only_o in_o cold_a weather_n but_o in_o the_o heat_n of_o summer_n now_o i_o come_v to_o tell_v you_o of_o intolerable_a torment_n gravel_n have_v breed_v in_o i_o from_o my_o youth_n and_o oftentimes_o i_o be_v pain_v with_o it_o whereupon_o i_o use_v to_o take_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o small_a drink_n and_o so_o avoid_v it_o i_o remember_v that_o my_o worshipful_a friend_n m._n richard_n se_o of_o southfleete_n say_v once_o unto_o i_o what_o will_v you_o do_v when_o your_o stomach_n can_v receive_v so_o much_o drink_v ah_o gentle_a m._n sed_o the_o time_n be_v now_o come_v and_o now_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o to_o help_v myself_o but_o call_n upon_o the_o name_n of_o god_n about_o the_o end_n of_o july_n in_o the_o year_n sixteen_o hundred_o and_o twelve_o i_o be_v take_v with_o many_o fit_n of_o cholike_a and_o stone_n one_o fit_a anon_o after_o another_o then_o i_o cry_v god_n mercy_n and_o promise_v zealous_a amendment_n of_o life_n the_o fit_v leave_v i_o but_o i_o amend_v not_o the_o next_o summer_n after_o i_o have_v some_o three_o or_o four_o several_a fit_n now_o mark_v i_o pray_v you_o and_o believe_v i_o i_o beseech_v you_o the_o second_o of_o november_n last_o 1613._o at_o night_n i_o go_v to_o bed_n feel_v a_o fit_a of_o the_o cholike_a and_o stone_n come_v upon_o i_o wherefore_o i_o be_v in_o great_a anguish_n pray_v earnest_o unto_o god_n that_o for_o his_o mercy_n sake_n he_o will_v then_o ease_v i_o of_o that_o pain_n with_o condition_n that_o if_o i_o do_v not_o present_o enter_v into_o a_o very_a reform_a course_n of_o life_n the_o disease_n shall_v return_v upon_o i_o and_o kill_v i_o it_o present_o be_v go_v and_o all_o that_o night_n i_o have_v quiet_a rest_n the_o morrow_n i_o perform_v not_o my_o promise_n towards_o night_n i_o feel_v a_o threaten_n of_o it_o again_o and_o therefore_o according_a to_o doct._n bambrigs_n direction_n i_o take_v purge_v pill_n to_o prevent_v it_o which_o kind_n of_o physic_n have_v former_o ease_v i_o the_o pill_v wrought_v yet_o the_o morrow_n morning_n a_o violent_a fit_n come_v upon_o i_o how_o grievous_o i_o be_v that_o day_n torment_v some_o that_o in_o kindness_n come_v to_o see_v i_o namely_o m._n thomas_n stringer_n and_o m._n john_n haughton_n do_v i_o be_o sure_a very_o well_o remember_v my_o breast_n quake_v as_o a_o leaf_n shake_v with_o the_o wind_n you_o may_v think_v i_o have_v then_o great_a cause_n to_o fear_v that_o the_o wrath_n of_o my_o lord_n be_v kindle_v against_o i_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o to_o rebuke_v the_o disease_n yet_o once_o more_o and_o then_o unless_o i_o force_v myself_o to_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o strait_a door_n of_o repentance_n no_o more_o he_o be_v a_o gracious_a lord_n his_o name_n be_v praise_v at_o even_o he_o rebuke_v the_o disease_n and_o it_o leave_v i_o yet_o all_o that_o night_n i_o be_v glad_a to_o have_v mr._n duxburie_n sit_v with_o i_o i_o be_v so_o weaken_v one_o while_o i_o be_v up_o a_o other_o while_o down_o and_o o_o my_o good_a lord_n what_o i_o think_v upon_o thou_o know_v my_o soul_n most_o humble_o and_o lamentable_o appeal_v unto_o thy_o infinite_a mercy_n after_o this_o i_o purpose_v as_o i_o think_v very_o steadfast_o to_o reform_v myself_o according_a to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n yea_o so_o far_o forth_o that_o i_o write_v unto_o cantrell_n leg_n printer_n in_o cambridg_n a_o note_n to_o be_v set_v before_o the_o five_o impression_n of_o my_o former_a little_a book_n in_o that_o note_n bear_v date_n novemb._n 27._o 1613._o i_o signify_v that_o my_o conscience_n be_v unburthen_v &_o that_o i_o will_v short_o publish_v the_o manner_n thereof_o whereas_o god_n know_v i_o be_v far_o short_a of_o be_v unburthen_v now_o yet_o mark_v i_o pray_v you_o all_o my_o former_a fit_n be_v about_o the_o right_a kidnie_n in_o januarie_n and_o february_n i_o feel_v a_o painful_a gather_n of_o somewhat_o about_o my_o left_a kidnie_n which_o prickingly_a continue_v cause_v a_o grievous_a torment_n in_o the_o water_n passage_n out_o of_o my_o body_n many_o time_n my_o water_n come_v drop-meale_n with_o burn_a pain_n that_o long_o practise_v religious_a physician_n doct._n hunton_n of_o newarke_n upon_o
rather_o endure_v any_o loss_n or_o damage_n then_o yield_v unto_o that_o sin_n and_o i_o must_v assure_v myself_o that_o how_o strong_o soever_o i_o be_o tempt_v god_n will_v most_o certain_o enable_v i_o to_o endure_v that_o temptation_n unless_o i_o base_o consent_v unto_o it_o when_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n i_o be_o free_v from_o any_o temptation_n i_o must_v praise_v he_o thus_o o_o the_o father_n of_o mercy_n and_o the_o fountain_n of_o power_n i_o a_o most_o weak_a wretch_n not_o able_a to_o resist_v the_o least_o motion_n of_o sin_n that_o may_v be_v do_v hearty_o thank_v thou_o for_o this_o gracious_a deliverance_n which_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v unto_o i_o o_o good_a lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o continue_v thy_o grace_n towards_o i_o that_o i_o may_v always_o be_v more_o and_o more_o thankful_a unto_o thou_o through_o jesus_n christ_n thy_o only_a son_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n if_o through_o want_n of_o heed_n or_o by_o weak_a resistance_n i_o fall_v into_o any_o sin_n i_o must_v so_o soon_o as_o i_o know_v it_o make_v my_o confession_n and_o prayer_n unto_o god_n thus_o o_o most_o holy_a and_o righteous_a lord_n god_n i_o most_o damnable_a sinner_n have_v now_o sin_v against_o thou_o thus_o and_o thus_o etc._n etc._n i_o cry_v thou_o mercy_n o_o most_o merciful_a father_n beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o true_a repentance_n pardon_n and_o freedom_n from_o this_o and_o from_o all_o my_o sin_n through_o thy_o only_a son_n jesus_n christ_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n moreover_o because_o i_o be_o much_o give_v to_o sin_n open_o that_o be_v in_o the_o sight_n or_o in_o the_o hear_n of_o some_o one_o or_o many_o of_o god_n people_n which_o be_v a_o great_a mean_n to_o draw_v they_o into_o sin_n or_o to_o harden_v they_o in_o sin_n or_o at_o least_o to_o discourage_v those_o which_o make_v conscience_n of_o their_o conversation_n unto_o every_o one_o that_o shall_v hear_v or_o see_v i_o sin_v i_o must_v so_o soon_o as_o i_o perceive_v my_o sin_n with_o all_o possible_a convenient_a speed_n very_o plain_o and_o repent_o confess_v it_o thus_o such_o a_o thing_n you_o see_v i_o do_v or_o such_o a_o thing_n you_o hear_v i_o say_v i_o beseech_v you_o for_o god_n sake_n to_o take_v great_a heed_n that_o it_o cause_v no_o evil_a effect_n in_o you_o for_o it_o be_v a_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o therefore_o i_o cry_v god_n mercy_n for_o it_o thus_o i_o must_v confess_v any_o open_a fault_n yea_o if_o it_o be_v commit_v in_o preach_v write_a or_o howsoever_o a_o pulpit_n fault_n in_o the_o same_o pulpit_n and_o to_o the_o same_o company_n must_v be_v confess_v these_o be_v my_o rule_n for_o the_o practice_n of_o zealous_a reformation_n that_o i_o may_v be_v in_o very_a deed_n a_o member_n and_o minister_v of_o the_o reform_a church_n now_o i_o will_v declare_v unto_o you_o how_o i_o endeavour_v to_o bring_v myself_o into_o those_o four_o rule_n and_o with_o what_o success_n all_o the_o rest_n of_o april_n i_o in_o a_o manner_n lose_v endeavour_v very_o little_a or_o nothing_o but_o i_o can_v have_v no_o quietness_n in_o mind_n long_o than_o i_o intend_v that_o business_n the_o first_o of_o may_n die_v in_o our_o parish_n a_o gentleman_n one_o m._n villers_n of_o the_o same_o torment_a disease_n which_o i_o have_v he_o have_v be_v long_a time_n very_o greivous_o pain_v with_o it_o every_o day_n special_o in_o the_o morning_n it_o plague_v i_o wherefore_o to_o ease_v the_o pain_n i_o drink_v much_o small_a drink_n and_o sometime_o water_n yea_o now_o and_o then_o my_o own_o water_n because_o i_o be_v tell_v that_o so_o i_o shall_v be_v case_v but_o though_o i_o drink_v never_o so_o much_o after_o it_o be_v pass_v through_o my_o body_n the_o pain_n come_v again_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o can_v not_o keep_v myself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o god_n special_o when_o i_o be_v together_o with_o any_o body_n for_o than_o i_o fall_v into_o a_o deal_n of_o idle_a unholy_a communication_n the_o eight_o of_o may_n be_v sabbath_n day_n in_o the_o evening_n these_o four_o be_v together_o m._n sidney_n zouch_n m._n matthew_n bate_n philip_n aram_n richard_n kilby_n we_o drink_v at_o m._n matth._n bates_n house_n who_o at_o the_o part_n say_v thus_o unto_o we_o it_o be_v great_a odds_n that_o not_o all_o we_o four_o shall_v be_v alive_a this_o day_n twelve_o month_n i_o roundly_o take_v the_o word_n to_o myself_o judge_v that_o the_o first_o which_o must_v be_v go_v be_v i_o and_o that_o god_n have_v put_v into_o his_o mind_n to_o say_v those_o word_n for_o my_o monishment_n yet_o see_v the_o settle_a wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n after_o my_o departure_n from_o they_o i_o meet_v with_o other_o company_n and_o so_o merry_o delight_v myself_o with_o profane_a talk_n that_o when_o i_o come_v into_o my_o chamber_n i_o be_v force_v to_o go_v prayerlesse_a to_o bed_v because_o my_o soul_n be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a to_o look_v up_o towards_o god_n the_o morrow_n morning_n i_o pray_v thus_o o_o bless_a lord_n god_n most_o marvellous_a be_v thou_o in_o goodness_n and_o patience_n be_v it_o possible_a that_o thou_o can_v forbear_v the_o pour_v of_o thy_o just_a and_o wrathful_a vengeance_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n it_o be_v exceed_o enough_o that_o thou_o have_v thus_o long_o forbear_v i_o cut_v off_o i_o beseech_v thou_o this_o most_o curse_a course_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o do_v unto_o i_o that_o which_o be_v most_o please_a to_o thy_o holy_a will_n o_o lord_n be_v there_o yet_o any_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v yea_o with_o condition_n of_o repentance_n woe_n be_v i_o there_o be_v no_o possibility_n of_o my_o repentance_n i_o can_v steadfast_o continue_v in_o the_o purpose_n of_o resist_v my_o sin_n yea_o so_o long_o as_o thy_o pleasure_n be_v to_o preserve_v i_o alive_a thou_o call_v i_o unto_o thou_o o_o god_n i_o will_v come_v but_o i_o can_v i_o will_v assay_v o_o i_o have_v no_o faith_n this_o be_v that_o which_o come_v of_o long_o live_v in_o sin_n yet_o who_o can_v tell_v what_o thou_o will_v do_v if_o i_o but_o offer_v to_o assay_v without_o assay_v there_o be_v no_o turn_n without_o turn_v no_o salvation_n therefore_o i_o will_v assay_v good_a lord_n i_o can_v how_o uncouth_a how_o strange_a how_o beyond_o all_o possibility_n do_v the_o practice_n of_o a_o conscionable_a life_n seem_v unto_o i_o o_o lord_n beside_o my_o own_o inward_a unrepentance_n the_o violent_a stream_n of_o this_o world_n hinder_v i_o most_o folk_n further_o i_o in_o sin_n some_o one_o way_n some_o another_o but_o a_o very_a few_o help_v i_o to_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o little_a door_n of_o repentance_n man_n may_v talk_v much_o and_o profess_v great_a matter_n but_o it_o be_v repentance_n that_o shall_v try_v what_o kind_n of_o people_n they_o be_v o_o how_o easy_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o make_v a_o outward_a show_n if_o that_o will_v serve_v the_o turn_n the_o heart_n must_v be_v upright_o with_o thou_o and_o the_o spirit_n must_v cleave_v fast_o unto_o thou_o else_o it_o be_v no_o bargain_n no_o covenant_n between_o thou_o and_o the_o party_n in_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n i_o will_v assay_v o_o jesu_n help_v i_o for_o thy_o most_o comfortable_a name_n sake_n amen_n that_o very_o same_o day_n i_o come_v into_o company_n turn_v from_o god_n tuesday_n i_o pray_v thus_o o_o lord_n god_n i_o do_v plain_o perceive_v that_o to_o pray_v unto_o thou_o for_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n and_o not_o to_o enforce_v myself_o to_o practice_v the_o mean_n be_v a_o kind_n of_o mockery_n and_o a_o fearful_a provoke_v of_o thy_o displeasure_n earnest_a prayer_n and_o diligent_a practice_n will_v mutual_o through_o thy_o grace_n strengthen_v each_o other_o but_o neglect_v of_o practice_n show_v cold_a devotion_n therefore_o i_o purpose_v to_o force_v myself_o unto_o this_o business_n o_o good_a lord_n be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o amen_n my_o intolerable_a pain_n grow_v worse_a and_o worse_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o frame_v myself_o to_o take_v any_o sure_a hold_n upon_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n monday_n the_o sixteenth_o of_o may_n i_o pray_v thus_o o_o lord_n god_n have_v i_o not_o be_v a_o stony_a heart_a sinner_n this_o deadly_a windine_n may_v have_v terrify_v i_o from_o sin_n above_o six_o year_n a_o go_v o_o how_o bless_a shall_v i_o now_o have_v be_v have_v i_o but_o these_o six_o last_o year_n in_o singleness_n of_o heart_n serve_v thou_o now_o my_o time_n be_v go_v my_o heart_n be_v dead_a within_o i_o and_o though_o i_o shall_v live_v a_o while_n this_o hellish_a strangury_n quite_o disable_v i_o yet_o be_v i_o turn_v unto_o thou_o thou_o will_v
be_v very_o gracious_a unto_o i_o oh_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o devilish_o bend_v to_o sin_n that_o no_o vow_n no_o oath_n nothing_o can_v turn_v it_o o_o lord_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v i_o be_o as_o a_o man_n that_o have_v most_o deadly_o wound_v himself_o and_o die_a will_v not_o die_v but_o woe_n be_v i_o there_o be_v no_o remedy_n he_o that_o be_v wound_v to_o death_n must_v die_v yea_o but_o thou_o vouchsafe_v to_o raise_v up_o some_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o thy_o son_n true_a lord_n true_a it_o be_v but_o few_o of_o that_o company_n be_v such_o as_o have_v be_v dissemble_v hypocrite_n and_o of_o all_o counterfeit_n the_o most_o uncurable_a be_v a_o counterfeit-preacher_n of_o thy_o righteousness_n my_o soul_n can_v hardly_o think_v how_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v have_v the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n of_o all_o such_o if_o any_o such_o there_o be_v beside_o i_o i_o be_o the_o worst_a o_o good_a lord_n be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o the_o worst_a of_o all_o sinner_n amen_n friday_n the_o twenty_o of_o may_n i_o pray_v thus_o o_o good_a lord_n though_o the_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v exceed_o great_a yet_o ought_v i_o not_o to_o despair_v for_o thy_o son_n liken_v the_o kingdom_n of_o thy_o grace_n unto_o a_o grain_n of_o muster_v seed_n and_o unto_o a_o little_a leaven_n o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o not_o a_o little_a faith_n look_v up_o unto_o heaven_n and_o crave_v of_o thy_o maker_n that_o the_o fullness_n of_o grace_n which_o be_v in_o jesus_n christ_n may_v have_v some_o little_a influence_n and_o entrance_n into_o thou_o by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n o_o my_o good_a lord_n my_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o unbelief_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o be_v merciful_a unto_o my_o unbelieve_a soul_n amen_n about_o noon_n the_o same_o day_n have_v dine_v with_o two_o stranger_n for_o i_o lodge_v and_o table_n in_o a_o vitteling-house_n come_v into_o my_o chamber_n i_o confess_v and_o pray_v thus_o o_o lord_n what_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v undertake_v to_o walk_v 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pulpit_n i_o feel_v myself_o to_o be_v something_o cool_v and_o able_a to_o speak_v so_o may_v i_o have_v continue_v but_o that_o i_o do_v as_o i_o will_v wish_v no_o man_n to_o do_v strain_v myself_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o furiousness_n the_o common_a behaviour_n of_o such_o as_o be_v tumultuous_o confuse_o and_o raw_o prepare_v the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o preacher_n self_n and_o the_o most_o likely_a to_o prevail_v in_o persuade_v his_o hearer_n be_v if_o i_o be_v not_o much_o deceive_v grave_a mild_a and_o treatable_a speech_n if_o a_o man_n perceive_v it_o in_o himself_o it_o be_v a_o very_a grievous_a sight_n to_o see_v corrupt_v nature_n play_v the_o part_n of_o grace_n and_o with_o a_o smoky_a flourish_n make_v as_o though_o it_o will_v kill_v the_o devil_n be_v indeed_o his_o base_a slave_n so_o willing_a to_o obey_v as_o he_o to_o command_v what_o a_o glory_n be_v this_o to_o satan_n what_o a_o dishonour_n to_o god_n after_o i_o be_v come_v home_o i_o praise_v god_n thus_o o_o most_o excellent_o gracious_a lord_n what_o shall_v i_o sinner_n do_v i_o be_o neither_o worthy_a nor_o able_a to_o praise_v thou_o yet_o exceed_o bind_v to_o do_v it_o o_o lord_n what_o move_v thou_o to_o be_v so_o good_a unto_o the_o worst_a of_o all_o sinner_n only_o thy_o own_o goodness_n for_o in_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o cause_n of_o provocation_n yea_o a_o thousand_o and_o a_o thousand_o thousand_o cause_n which_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o vengeance_n and_o continual_o urge_v thy_o justice_n to_o pour_v a_o whole_a sea_n of_o wrath_n upon_o i_o and_o yet_o thou_o be_v gracious_a unto_o i_o have_v i_o the_o holy_a soul_n and_o the_o strong_a body_n of_o all_o that_o live_v upon_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n yea_o though_o i_o can_v live_v a_o hundred_o holy_a life_n &_o die_v as_o many_o right_a martyrdom_n in_o zeal_n of_o thou_o and_o of_o thy_o truth_n i_o shall_v not_o come_v near_o unto_o the_o make_n of_o a_o sufficient_a recompense_n for_o the_o goodness_n patience_n and_o forbearance_n which_o thou_o have_v gracious_o show_v unto_o i_o and_o yet_o lo_o most_o vile_a wretch_n that_o i_o be_o i_o still_o live_v in_o sin_n and_o so_o continue_v displease_v and_o dishonour_v thou_o o_o my_o good_a lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o be_v once_o break_v from_o this_o devilish_a wickedness_n though_o it_o be_v with_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v the_o most_o refuse_v man_n of_o all_o the_o world_n lay_v upon_o i_o whatsoever_o thou_o will_v only_o disburden_v my_o conscience_n of_o sin_n and_o ease_v my_o body_n of_o this_o unsupportable_a pain_n of_o the_o strangury_n amen_n at_o evening_n prayer_n i_o read_v and_o preach_v
again_o afterward_o be_v very_o much_o weary_v i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o go_v and_o refresh_v myself_o in_o company_n the_o bane_n of_o sabbath_n day_n keep_v and_o go_v first_o to_o one_o house_n then_o to_o another_o end_v the_o day_n very_o heathenish_o monday_n after_o supper_n my_o mind_n pretend_v reason_n to_o draw_v i_o abroad_o &_o therefore_o out_o i_o go_v to_o ease_v my_o strangury_n i_o drink_v at_o one_o house_n much_o beer_n at_o a_o other_o whaie_n in_o stead_n of_o beer_n thursday_n a_o great_a heat_n with_o a_o deadly_a faintness_n come_v upon_o i_o my_o left_a kidney_n be_v sore_o pain_v and_o thereupon_o i_o be_v grievous_o torment_v in_o the_o passage_n of_o my_o water_n the_o 29._o of_o may_n be_v sabbath_n i_o take_v a_o course_n â—ore_o easy_a for_o myself_o and_o as_o i_o very_o believe_v more_o profitable_a for_o the_o parish_n in_o the_o forenoon_n i_o preach_v a_o sermon_n and_o at_o evening_n prayer_n after_o the_o second_o lesson_n i_o ask_v a_o youth_n who_o be_v well_o provide_v to_o answer_v three_o or_o four_o question_n touch_v the_o foundation_n of_o religion_n then_o i_o make_v those_o short_a answer_n plain_a and_o prove_v they_o out_o of_o the_o bible_n in_o half_a a_o hour_n space_n i_o humble_o advise_v all_o young_a preacher_n that_o they_o will_v not_o imagine_v they_o can_v build_v jerusalem_n sudden_o for_o sudden_a building_n will_v soon_o fall_v down_o i_o marvel_v how_o it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o in_o some_o place_n even_o where_o learned_a preacher_n have_v kill_v themselves_o with_o sore_a labour_n the_o great_a number_n of_o people_n be_v gross_o ignorant_a yea_o i_o say_v it_o again_o and_o can_v prove_v it_o very_o gross_o ignorant_a i_o trust_v i_o be_o under_o protection_n and_o that_o make_v i_o the_o bold_a to_o speak_v my_o mind_n in_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n and_o love_n of_o my_o country_n the_o common_a sort_n be_v much_o neglect_v for_o neither_o matter_n of_o doctrine_n nor_o manner_n of_o speech_n 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be_v have_v with_o most_o people_n if_o this_o belief_n be_v act_v &_o put_v into_o practice_n i_o myself_o shall_v take_v it_o for_o a_o uncouth_a thing_n if_o a_o other_o in_o my_o company_n shall_v appear_v to_o present_v himself_o before_o thy_o face_n our_o disposition_n abhor_v to_o be_v awe_v our_o mind_n be_v full_a of_o vanity_n we_o be_v like_a unto_o foolish_a scholar_n that_o love_v not_o to_o have_v their_o schoolmaster_n in_o their_o company_n yea_o we_o be_v worse_o than_o they_o for_o when_o their_o master_n be_v with_o they_o though_o it_o be_v sore_o against_o their_o will_n yet_o they_o acknowledge_v his_o presence_n and_o if_o he_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n temper_v masterly_a gravity_n with_o fatherly_a gentleness_n he_o shall_v in_o time_n win_v those_o rude_a one_o to_o be_v glad_a of_o his_o company_n and_o very_o reverent_o to_o love_v he_o as_o the_o parent_n of_o their_o good_a education_n so_o will_v thou_o gracious_o work_v upon_o we_o if_o we_o will_v acknowledge_v thy_o presence_n but_o this_o be_v quite_o contrary_a to_o the_o bent_n of_o our_o heart_n o_o good_a lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o be_v merciful_a unto_o us._n amen_n that_o day_n in_o the_o afternoon_n i_o go_v to_o church_n to_o bury_v a_o old_a man_n named_z richard_n duke_n and_o thence_o i_o go_v into_o the_o town_n where_o be_v in_o company_n i_o forget_v god_n and_o what_o any_o man_n perceive_v in_o my_o behaviour_n i_o know_v not_o thence_o i_o come_v home_o and_o after_o some_o idle_a communication_n with_o some_o which_o i_o find_v in_o the_o house_n come_v into_o my_o chamber_n my_o spirit_n be_v so_o ashamed_a to_o speak_v unto_o god_n that_o i_o go_v prayerlesse_a to_o bed_v the_o morrow_n be_v whitsunday-eve_a i_o be_v so_o grievous_o torment_v that_o i_o drink_v beside_o much_o beer_n four_o quart_n of_o water_n whitsunday_n one_o preach_v in_o my_o place_n both_o forenoon_n and_o afternoon_n monday_n by_o reason_n of_o over-full_a diet_n take_v the_o day_n before_o the_o wind_n cholike_a begin_v in_o my_o bowel_n which_o hold_v i_o all_o day_n and_o all_o night_n in_o sore_a pain_n yea_o though_o i_o use_v both_o purge_n and_o clyster_n it_o hang_v upon_o i_o wellnigh_o all_o the_o week_n follow_v i_o must_v not_o tell_v how_o unpatient_o how_o abominable_o i_o behave_v myself_o as_o i_o lie_v torment_v with_o that_o fit_a o_o most_o holy_a lord_n forgive_v i_o i_o beseech_v thou_o and_o of_o thy_o exceed_a great_a mercy_n free_v i_o from_o the_o wicked_a bondage_n of_o my_o sin_n amen_o trinity_n sunday_n i_o shall_v have_v preach_v a_o sermon_n at_o kirk-ireton_n some_o eight_o mile_n from_o derbie_n where_o one_o m._n storer_n sometime_o a_o baker_n in_o london_n have_v give_v a_o sermon_n to_o be_v preach_v and_o certain_a money_n distribute_v that_o day_n yearly_a for_o ever_o whether_o because_o the_o town_n of_o derbie_n be_v bind_v to_o see_v that_o work_n perform_v i_o have_v be_v send_v as_o i_o remember_v four_o time_n but_o my_o filthy_a strangury_n now_o so_o vex_v i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o ride_v wherefore_o tarry_v at_o home_n i_o preach_v twice_o to_o my_o own_o charge_n be_v i_o able_a i_o will_v give_v so_o much_o unto_o the_o parish_n of_o all-hallows_n in_o derbie_n for_o ever_o as_o shall_v keep_v their_o own_o minister_n at_o home_n among_o they_o for_o it_o be_v a_o great_a company_n of_o people_n and_o have_v great_a need_n of_o continual_a careful_a guidance_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o of_o june_n be_v sabbath_n though_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_v sore_o trouble_v with_o the_o strangury_n yet_o god_n of_o his_o mercy_n enable_v i_o to_o preach_v in_o the_o forenoon_n and_o catechise_v in_o the_o afternoon_n he_o that_o have_v see_v how_o i_o study_v mondaie_n and_o tuesday_n for_o matter_n of_o prayer_n and_o psalm_n unto_o god_n in_o desire_n &_o hope_n of_o deliverance_n out_o of_o the_o bondage_n of_o sin_n and_o after_o all_o that_o how_o quite_o contrary_o i_o bend_v my_o course_n will_v very_o be_v persuade_v that_o he_o have_v see_v not_o one_o man_n but_o two_o man_n in_o one_o outward_a likeness_n the_o one_o with_o many_o tear_n pitiful_o crave_v mercy_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n and_o the_o other_o turn_v his_o back_n to_o god_n and_o run_v away_o from_o he_o tuesday_n evening_n i_o be_v at_o a_o place_n in_o the_o town_n profane_o please_v myself_o be_v return_v home_o and_o sit_v down_o in_o my_o chamber_n my_o mind_n leave_v i_o and_o go_v back_o to_o the_o same_o place_n again_o at_o last_o with_o much_o ado_n i_o start_v up_o and_o fall_v down_o upon_o my_o knee_n before_o the_o face_n of_o god_n
fit_a of_o the_o stone_n and_o therefore_o pray_v thus_o o_o my_o good_a lord_n it_o be_v a_o most_o miserable_a state_n for_o a_o man_n have_v spend_v his_o time_n in_o sin_n to_o die_v before_o that_o he_o have_v in_o the_o way_n of_o repentance_n do_v any_o service_n unto_o thou_o this_o dolorous_a disease_n torment_v i_o sore_o and_o threaten_v to_o kill_v i_o o_o lord_n may_v it_o please_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o rebuke_v it_o that_o i_o may_v live_v a_o while_n and_o glorify_v thy_o grace_n in_o the_o zealous_a reformation_n of_o life_n o_o how_o shall_v i_o then_o be_v bind_v to_o praise_v thy_o bless_a name_n i_o think_v i_o hear_v thou_o say_v unto_o i_o thou_o vain_a man_n that_o talk_v so_o much_o and_o make_v so_o many_o doubt_n woulding_n and_o wish_n let_v i_o see_v thou_o once_o turn_v unto_o i_o and_o then_o thou_o shall_v know_v more_o of_o my_o mind_n until_o then_o all_o that_o thou_o say_v or_o do_v be_v as_o nothing_o therefore_o make_v no_o more_o word_n but_o turn_v speedy_o from_o sin_n while_o time_n serve_v and_o say_v thou_o have_v fair_a warning_n o_o most_o gracious_a lord_n i_o have_v long_o have_v and_o yet_o have_v bless_a be_v thy_o name_n very_o fair_a warning_n i_o will_v henceforth_o endeavour_v to_o turn_v unto_o thou_o through_o jesus_n christ_n amen_n thursdaie_n i_o begin_v to_o sing_v a_o morning_n psalm_n which_o i_o purpose_v thenceforth_a to_o sing_v every_o morning_n have_v also_o prepare_v a_o evening_n psalm_n to_o be_v sing_v unto_o the_o lord_n god_n after_o that_o i_o be_o once_o well_o enter_v into_o the_o practice_n of_o repentance_n ¶_o my_o evening_n psalm_n to_o the_o kentish_a tune_n o_o lord_n most_o high_a and_o mighty_a god_n i_o sinful_a wretched_a man_n confess_v to_o thou_o so_o hearty_o as_o possible_o i_o can_v that_o marvelous_a exceed_a great_a thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o who_o have_v be_v always_o most_o unkind_a and_o grievous_a unto_o thou_o these_o very_a many_o year_n thou_o have_v a_o wonder_n it_o be_v to_o tell_v preserve_v my_o die_a life_n else_o i_o shall_v now_o have_v be_v in_o hell_n even_o hitherto_o o_o gracious_a god_n thou_o have_v uphold_v i_o still_o who_o thou_o most_o just_o may_v long_v since_o have_v leave_v to_o satan_n will_n what_o shall_v i_o therefore_o say_v o_o lord_n to_o thou_o for_o thy_o goodness_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n and_o tongue_n be_v fit_a thy_o goodness_n to_o confess_v o_o god_n my_o poor_a and_o sinful_a soul_n most_o humble_o sue_v to_o thou_o that_o from_o this_o filthy_a wickedness_n thou_o will_v once_o set_v i_o free_a now_o bless_a lord_n free_v i_o i_o pray_v free_v i_o for_o christ_n his_o sake_n that_o of_o thy_o mercy_n in_o he_o i_o my_o song_n may_v ever_o make_v then_o will_v i_o praise_v thy_o holy_a name_n for_o ever_o more_o and_o more_o withal_o my_o heart_n soul_n strength_n &_o might_n i_o will_v praise_v thou_o therefore_o o_o father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n all_o glory_n be_v to_o thou_o to_o thou_o three_o person_n in_o one_o god_n one_o god_n in_o person_n three_o thursday_n at_o dinner_n i_o fall_v into_o much_o uncharitable_a speech_n concern_v diverse_a folk_n therefore_o come_v into_o my_o chamber_n i_o confess_v and_o pray_v thus_o o_o lord_n i_o have_v sin_v against_o thou_o in_o speak_v uncharitable_o of_o many_o people_n thou_o know_v that_o it_o be_v a_o common_a practice_n of_o most_o company_n in_o talk_v to_o shoot_v at_o rover_n and_o for_o lack_v of_o other_o mark_n to_o spare_v neither_o the_o live_n nor_o the_o dead_a a_o cruel_a sin_n and_o very_o foul_a in_o any_o special_o in_o a_o minister_n of_o thy_o son_n christ_n for_o that_o gracious_a lord_n be_v so_o far_o from_o speak_v ill_o of_o other_o that_o he_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o hear_v any_o body_n ill_o speak_v of_o yea_o he_o choose_v rather_o to_o busy_v himself_o in_o stoop_v down_o and_o write_v upon_o the_o ground_n with_o his_o finger_n then_o to_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o do_v but_o to_o give_v ear_n unto_o a_o bad_a report_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o true_a joh._n 8.6_o o_o good_a lord_n pardon_v my_o wickedness_n and_o give_v i_o grace_n to_o leave_v it_o through_o jesus_n christ_n thy_o only_a son_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n that_o evening_n i_o have_v not_o be_v out_o of_o door_n a_o whole_a fortnight_n before_o go_v forth_o to_o see_v philip_n aram_n who_o be_v then_o new_a come_v home_o from_o london_n and_o tell_v i_o of_o the_o good_a health_n of_o my_o worshipful_a friend_n mr._n richard_n sedley_n of_o southfleet_n in_o kent_n a_o gentleman_n endue_v with_o many_o virtue_n special_o devotion_n towards_o god_n and_o charity_n towards_o the_o poor_a and_o because_o i_o have_v take_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o virtue_n so_o rare_a in_o these_o evil_n yet_o good-seeming_a day_n i_o can_v forbear_v to_o commend_v unto_o man_n of_o worth_n and_o worship_n a_o very_a notable_a pattern_n of_o right_a gentry_n sir_n william_n sedley_n the_o elder_a brother_n who_o equal_a in_o bountiful_a relieve_v of_o god_n poor_a i_o never_o know_v and_o be_o much_o afraid_a that_o i_o never_o shall_v know_v foolish_a pride_n unsatiable_a covetousness_n and_o pamper_a gluttony_n have_v banish_v hospitality_n and_o utter_o renounce_v liberality_n woe_n be_v i_o for_o they_o how_o unlike_o themselves_o do_v many_o great_a one_o live_v hurtful_a to_o how_o many_o good_a to_o how_o few_o the_o world_n be_v too_o too_o full_a of_o petty_a tyrant_n who_o judgement_n linger_v not_o but_o follow_v so_o fast_o upon_o they_o that_o it_o overtake_v some_o before_o they_o die_v and_o many_o in_o the_o next_o generation_n if_o any_o ask_v what_o reason_n i_o have_v in_o confess_v my_o own_o sin_n to_o ransack_v the_o fault_n of_o other_o my_o answer_n be_v i_o be_o though_o most_o unworthy_a a_o profess_a preacher_n of_o righteousness_n &_o therefore_o bind_v in_o conscience_n to_o do_v what_o i_o possible_o can_v against_o sin_n the_o day_n of_o my_o account_n draw_v very_o near_o i_o have_v foolish_o lose_v much_o precious_a time_n wherefore_o i_o be_o desirous_a to_o make_v all_o the_o use_n that_o may_v be_v of_o this_o small_a remnant_n i_o humble_o beseech_v all_o people_n that_o in_o tender_a compassion_n of_o my_o great_a loss_n and_o fearful_a danger_n they_o will_v be_v please_v to_o bear_v with_o i_o if_o i_o seem_v unto_o they_o to_o speak_v of_o any_o thing_n over-harsh_o god_n almighty_a know_v that_o i_o hearty_o wish_v all_o good_a unto_o all_o people_n now_o i_o return_v to_o myself_o i_o sit_v a_o while_n with_o my_o love_a friend_n philip_n aram_n and_o certain_a other_o whether_o they_o take_v knowledge_n of_o any_o offence_n of_o i_o i_o know_v not_o this_o i_o know_v when_o i_o come_v home_o my_o conscience_n find_v much_o fault_n in_o my_o behaviour_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_v drive_v to_o cry_v god_n mercy_n for_o my_o forgetfulness_n of_o his_o all-seeing_a all-hearing_a presence_n friday_n by_o reason_n of_o diverse_a which_o come_v unto_o i_o i_o lose_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o day_n therefore_o at_o night_n i_o confess_v and_o pray_v thus_o o_o most_o righteous_a lord_n i_o have_v this_o day_n not_o only_o lose_v my_o time_n but_o also_o by_o occasion_n of_o company_n indangr_v my_o weak_a body_n in_o drink_v much_o between_o meal_n i_o have_v also_o be_v a_o partaker_n of_o much_o idle_a and_o uncharitable_a talk_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o the_o grace_n to_o be_v true_o turn_v from_o these_o and_o from_o all_o my_o sin_n that_o i_o may_v be_v save_v amen_n saturday_n about_o nine_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o forenoon_n i_o pray_v as_o i_o think_v more_o devout_o and_o effectual_o then_o ever_o before_o among_o other_o word_n of_o complaint_n touch_v my_o state_n i_o speak_v thus_o there_o be_v no_o possibility_n no_o likelihood_n of_o repentance_n in_o i_o be_v within_o myself_o so_o accustom_v to_o sin_n &_o without_o so_o hold_v unto_o it_o by_o the_o world_n how_o can_v i_o have_v any_o hope_n to_o arise_v out_o of_o the_o hell_n of_o sin_n see_v that_o i_o have_v these_o twenty_o year_n and_o more_o assay_v and_o assay_v to_o arise_v and_o still_o always_o fall_v down_o again_o yet_o o_o lord_n there_o be_v hope_n in_o thou_o though_o none_o in_o i_o vouchsafe_v to_o make_v a_o end_n of_o my_o sin_v whatsoever_o become_v of_o i_o my_o duty_n be_v to_o crave_v mercy_n of_o thou_o good_a lord_n i_o crave_v it_o good_a lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v it_o for_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n sake_n for_o thy_o dear_a son_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n etc._n etc._n at_o dinner_n i_o speak_v my_o mind_n touch_v a_o matter_n which_o concern_v i_o
way_n sufficient_a for_o thou_o most_o holy_a lord_n this_o i_o very_o believe_v therefore_o in_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n christ_n henceforth_o i_o will_v whole_o endeavour_v to_o please_v thou_o amen_n the_o last_o day_n of_o julie_n be_v sabbath_n though_o i_o be_v sore_o torment_v i_o have_v no_o remedy_n but_o needs_o must_v preach_v myself_o for_o neither_o be_v i_o provide_v of_o any_o supply_n and_o a_o churchwarden_n come_v to_o tell_v i_o the_o parish_n take_v it_o in_o displeasure_n that_o i_o myself_o perform_v not_o my_o duty_n that_o day_n i_o preach_v twice_o to_o the_o great_a hurt_n of_o my_o body_n which_o appear_v by_o many_o little_a shread_n of_o skin_n which_o come_v from_o i_o in_o my_o water_n monday_n the_o first_o of_o august_n such_o a_o drowsy_a windy_a weakness_n hang_v upon_o i_o special_o in_o my_o breast_n and_o head_n that_o many_o time_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o fall_v and_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o stand_v a_o painful_a sleepiness_n be_v still_o come_v upon_o i_o whether_o i_o do_v read_v or_o write_v monday_n night_n i_o be_v in_o bed_n and_o fall_v into_o a_o slumber_n i_o be_v so_o strange_o take_v as_o never_o fore_o some_o thing_n seem_v to_o be_v upon_o my_o back_n &_o so_o to_o press_v i_o down_o that_o my_o face_n be_v hold_v hard_o to_o the_o pillow_n and_o much_o wind_n break_v out_o at_o the_o right_a ear_n be_v very_o troublous_o wake_v i_o call_v upon_o my_o good_a lord_n for_o mercy_n i_o perceive_v a_o shiver_a windine_n offer_v to_o arise_v out_o of_o my_o thigh_n i_o take_v this_o by_o overforce_v myself_o in_o preach_v upon_o the_o sabbath_n day_n if_o i_o be_v not_o much_o deceive_v it_o please_v god_n that_o afterward_o i_o have_v some_o quiet_a rest_n but_o towards_o morning_n the_o cruel_a strangury_n come_v upon_o i_o alas_o that_o there_o be_v no_o remedy_n for_o such_o a_o filthy_a torment_a disease_n a_o physician_n write_v unto_o i_o among_o other_o word_n say_v thus_o know_v that_o your_o disease_n be_v incurable_a the_o seven_o of_o august_n be_v sabbath_n my_o disease_n still_o torment_v i_o i_o pray_v and_o vow_v thus_o o_o most_o holy_a and_o righteous_a good_a and_o gracious_a lord_n god_n i_o the_o most_o foul_a and_o filthy_a sinner_n of_o all_o the_o world_n do_v here_o make_v a_o complaint_n of_o myself_o unto_o thy_o glorious_a and_o bless_a majesty_n that_o i_o be_o not_o fit_a to_o live_v in_o thy_o sight_n much_o less_o to_o serve_v thou_o in_o the_o gospel_n of_o thy_o son_n because_o i_o do_v not_o walk_v with_o thou_o nor_o keep_v myself_o in_o thy_o company_n as_o thy_o servant_n do_v o_o be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o i_o beseech_v thou_o i_o have_v heretofore_o make_v many_o vow_n that_o i_o will_v enforce_v myself_o to_o wait_v upon_o thou_o but_o woe_n be_v i_o i_o have_v not_o keep_v they_o now_o i_o most_o humble_o pray_v thou_o that_o all_o my_o former_a vow_n may_v be_v shut_v up_o in_o this_o which_o i_o be_o mind_v to_o make_v unto_o thou_o and_o this_o it_o be_v this_o day_n two_o several_a preacher_n will_v supply_v my_o place_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o bless_v they_o with_o holy_a matter_n hallow_a affection_n powerful_a utterance_n &_o good_a success_n if_o i_o do_v not_o from_o this_o day_n forward_o very_o conscionable_o endeavour_v to_o hold_v myself_o to_o the_o practice_n of_o my_o four_o rule_n i_o will_v the_o next_o sabbath_n day_n quite_o put_v myself_o out_o of_o the_o ministry_n yea_o and_o open_o profess_v unto_o the_o world_n that_o therefore_o i_o do_v it_o because_o my_o conscience_n do_v certain_o judge_v i_o not_o to_o be_v fit_a to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n good_a lord_n this_o be_v my_o vow_n if_o i_o either_o reform_v myself_o from_o this_o day_n forward_o or_o for_o default_n thereof_o leave_v the_o ministry_n i_o break_v not_o my_o vow_n if_o i_o do_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o let_v i_o be_v everlasting_o forsake_v of_o jesus_n christ_n if_o i_o conscionable_o reform_v myself_o by_o thy_o grace_n and_o so_o continue_v with_o thy_o favour_n in_o the_o ministry_n o_o that_o thou_o will_v be_v merciful_a unto_o i_o touch_v this_o horrible_a disease_n then_o shall_v i_o holy_o and_o whole_o betake_v myself_o to_o serve_v thou_o as_o my_o heart_n desire_v be_v to_o do_v if_o i_o reform_v not_o myself_o and_o therefore_o as_o my_o vow_n require_v leave_v the_o ministry_n i_o ask_v no_o more_o but_o the_o destruction_n of_o my_o sin_n to_o thy_o good_a pleasure_n and_o glory_n now_o bless_a lord_n i_o offer_v up_o this_o vow_n unto_o thou_o for_o a_o everlasting_a deed_n and_o thereunto_o unchangeable_o say_v amen_n be_v it_o never_o change_v but_o ever_o in_o force_n between_o thy_o bless_a majesty_n and_o i_o amen_n that_o day_n some_o come_v unto_o i_o and_o what_o with_o one_o matter_n what_o with_o a_o other_o cause_v i_o to_o talk_v at_o random_n as_o though_o i_o have_v not_o be_v in_o the_o company_n of_o god_n when_o they_o be_v go_v i_o cry_v god_n mercy_n &_o promise_v to_o be_v more_o mindful_a of_o his_o presence_n and_o fearful_a of_o his_o displeasure_n at_o night_n some_o come_v to_o i_o again_o and_o talk_v of_o many_o thing_n move_v i_o to_o pass_v my_o bound_n but_o not_o so_o much_o as_o before_o yet_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v not_o enter_v into_o my_o vow_a practice_n this_o i_o do_v full_o persuade_v myself_o that_o if_o i_o can_v in_o company_n be_v mindful_a of_o god_n and_o shun_v the_o displease_v of_o his_o majesty_n i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a fair_a forwardness_n of_o reformation_n monday_n the_o eight_o of_o august_n i_o hold_v myself_o unto_o my_o prayer_n and_o business_n careful_o think_v how_o i_o shall_v avoid_v the_o great_a danger_n of_o company_n and_o talk_v i_o pray_v unto_o the_o lord_n thus_o o_o good_a lord_n thou_o see_v that_o my_o disposition_n be_v harden_v in_o sin_n and_o most_o untoward_a unto_o thy_o service_n thou_o see_v also_o how_o apt_a other_o folk_n be_v to_o further_a my_o untowardness_n to_o hinder_v my_o repentance_n i_o beseech_v thou_o that_o for_o thy_o only_a son_n sake_n thou_o will_v powerful_o break_v i_o from_o my_o untowardnes_n &_o prepare_v i_o in_o thy_o fear_n to_o shun_v the_o manifold_a wickedness_n which_o be_v one_o way_n or_o another_o cause_v by_o company_v and_o talk_v bless_a lord_n true_a it_o be_v as_o i_o take_v harm_n by_o other_o so_o they_o take_v harm_n by_o i_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n be_v merciful_a unto_o we_o and_o keep_v we_o from_o cause_v any_o harm_n one_o to_o another_o amen_n aman._n between_o ten_o and_o eleven_o of_o the_o clock_n there_o come_v some_o unto_o i_o about_o a_o matter_n of_o unkindness_n between_o certain_a party_n which_o have_v not_o then_o be_v call_v into_o question_n if_o i_o have_v conceal_v a_o report_n which_o in_o writing_n be_v give_v unto_o i_o and_o which_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o will_v to_o show_v unto_o who_o i_o will_v it_o be_v likely_a that_o many_o a_o one_o will_v have_v think_v himself_o well_o warrant_v to_o show_v it_o special_o if_o it_o have_v concern_v he_o so_o near_o as_o it_o do_v i_o i_o show_v it_o not_o but_o only_o tell_v a_o certain_a part_n of_o it_o which_o cause_v the_o come_n of_o those_o man_n unto_o i_o after_o that_o we_o have_v talk_v of_o the_o business_n and_o they_o be_v go_v i_o confess_v and_o pray_v thus_o unto_o god_n o_o most_o gracious_a lord_n i_o do_v evil_a in_o receive_v that_o paper_n and_o worse_o in_o speak_v of_o any_o thing_n write_v in_o it_o i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pardon_v i_o and_o to_o give_v grace_n that_o i_o may_v never_o hereafter_o speak_v any_o thing_n of_o that_o matter_n but_o only_o my_o bind_a thanks_o &_o praise_n unto_o thou_o through_o jesus_n christ_n thy_o son_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n in_o the_o afternoon_n upon_o occasion_n i_o pray_v thus_o o_o most_o gracious_a lord_n thou_o see_v that_o by_o thy_o goodness_n i_o go_v not_o out_o to_o seek_v company_n i_o perceive_v it_o be_v great_a folly_n so_o to_o do_v if_o any_o come_v unto_o i_o and_o enter_v into_o frivolous_a talk_n i_o can_v tell_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v thy_o spirit_n say_v that_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o word_n there_o want_v not_o sin_n pro._n 10.19_o and_o what_o great_a loss_n of_o precious_a time_n come_v unto_o man_n by_o vain_a idle_a communication_n i_o know_v by_o experience_n to_o my_o great_a grief_n most_o merciful_a lord_n thou_o have_v bring_v i_o thus_o far_o and_o break_v i_o from_o seek_v company_n from_o join_v in_o empty_a word_n vouchsafe_v to_o magnify_v thy_o mercy_n in_o make_v i_o to_o prevail_v against_o this_o impediment_n