as the last words in his Diary with a very weak and trâ—mâ—â—ing hand as the Writing and Letters too evidently shew Cranbroke Feb. 19. 1689. I have been above two Months under the Chirurgeon's hands for a sore Leg and Thigh Pains have been sometimes very great Relapses from Feavers c. several Apprehensions of Death frequent I have not I think been impatient I have been without anxious Thoughts of Eternity and willing if God pleas'd to leave my Body but â—ixedly desirous not to continue in it unless I be and do the better for this Affliction Twice as my ill Circumstances permitted 〈◊〉 view'd the Account of my self Oct. 7. 1685. and still hope it is not false Of all Men I could think only of Mr. betwixt whom and my self there was any unkindness but I think none sinful on my part I was advis'd against meddling with him on that Subject because I could not see it was my Duty and it might do more harm than good Lord pity me in my wearisom Condition help me according to thy great Goodness Refine me for thy better Service on Earth or perfect in Heaven Of his Carriage under his tedious and languishing Pains the following Character gives a brief Account to which I shall only add That his Patience sâ— Grace that Heaven gives us no occasion to exercise having had its perfect work on Earth especially under an Affliction of so long continuance He was happily as to himself dismiss'd from his Labours and Sorrows and entred into his everlasting Rest March 30. 1688 9. To this Account of his Life given from his own Breviate it may not be amiss to annex the Character given of him by Mr. Ch that Preach'd his Funeral Sermon I know the usual Flattery of Funeral Orations and the ill use that is sometimes made of them when the Person is of no extraordinary worth to deserve them But very excellent Persons whose Lives have been very bright and exemplary should not fall without being taken notice of And as 't is a piece of Justice to the Dead so of useful Charity to the Living to commemorate their Remarkable Vertues and Graces that Survivers may be perswaded and encourag'd to Go and Do likewise And such was this great Man I am indeed on many accounts unsit to give a just Character of him As by reason of mine own green Years so also because I had not the happiness to be acquainted with him till the last seven Years of his life But I shall say nothing of him but either on my own Observation or from that short Breviate of his Life Penn'd by himself for his own use And here after some Account of him from the Breviate which 't is needless to repeat because the Reader will meet with it more fully there he proceeds He had before inclin'd to the study of Physick and gain'd so much Skill as made him very useful to his poor Neighbours when sick But as one of the Fathers said concerning Tully He could not find the Name of Jesus there And therefore laid those Books aside and apply'd himself to that more sweet and sublime study of Divinity Herein in a few Years he exceeded and out-stript most of his Age God had given him a large Soul in a weak and crazy Body He was Master of a quick discerning solid Judgment joyn'd with an active Fancy which rarely meet together He was indeed a living Library and walking Study and carried about a vast Stock of Learning with him And God had given him large measures of Grace to improve his great Abilities for the good of Souls With what warmth and Affection with what apposite Expressions and I had almost said unimitable Fluency of Sacred Oratory would he pour out his Prayers before God! with what tenderness and compassion did he invite and urge Sinners to Repentance How clearly would he explain the deepest Mysteries of Christianity and what weighty Arguments did he use to perswade to a belief and observance of its holy Doctrines and Rules His daily Family-Exposition of the Scriptures which for many Years he us'd Morning and Evening I have often thought equal for Accuracy and Instructiveness to most Commentators He took all Opportunities that his own Weakness and Family-distractions or publick Confusions would allow for his publick Labours And he never omitted Preaching from House to House by private Visits and Christian Conferences His Master's Work was constantly upon his Heart and he readily embrac'd all Opportunities for it The Sick and Poor were sure of his Company and he familiarly condescended to the meanest Capacities for their good He was as willing to instruct poor Cottagers in the way to the Kingdom as those of an higher rank and degree He perfum'd every place where he came with his savoury Speeches and heavenly Discourse His Words dropt as the Dew and distill'd as the Rain And his Heart was still'd with such a sense of Divine Love that the holy Breathings of it flow'd forth among all with whom he converst Thus he was in his Ministerial Capacity And his Life and Actions were answerable to his Doctrine and Discourses I need not say how pleasant a Relative he was how dutiful as a Son how indulgent as a Husband how prudent and affectionate as a Father Nor need any Man tell me how pleasant and faithful he was in his Friendship He had all the ingenuity and endearing Obligingness that belongs to such a Relation He had in himself those four Characters in eminent degrees which he was often wont to say he wish'd for in a real Friend Piety good Nature Fidelity in Admonitions and Reproofs and a Readiness to Communicate Notions and Experiences for the encreasing holy Light and Heat I must pass over many Things worthy to be remembred and shall only mention some particular Vertues and Graces which were the peculiar Ornaments of his Life He give remarkable Instances of his Piety and Devotedness to God by his constancy and frequency in Devotion He took all occasions for Prayer by himself and with others was habitually prepar'd for this sweet and prositable Exercise of Religion Few ever comply'd more with the Scriptural Command of Praying always and without ceasing This holy Incense was always prepar'd for the Altar though the sweet perfume was not always ascending to Heaven He observ'd the Lord's Day with a religious strictness keeping it as a holy Rest to God in the publick and private Exercises of Worship with as little diversion as possible He diligently instructed his Inferiours by Catechizing and serious Exhortations He exprest a warm Zeal against Sin where-ever he found it and his prudent calm and seasonable Reproofs were greatly enforc'd by the blamelessness of his own Example In such Instances his Piety shone in a bright attractive Light His Meekness and Moderation towards those that differ'd from him deserves next to be remembred Tho' none was more fervently zealous about the great Substantials of Religion yet none were more cool and temperate about
to those that there attended his Ministry Having made so long a Digression though necessary to clear the sense of these Passages in his Diary by which it fully appears with what Deliberation and sincerity he acted in these matters I shall before I close it subjoyn one Instance of the admirable Influence his Example and Persuasions had to promote Religion in the Family and Neighbourhood of Glastenbury For the Heir of it Sir Thomas R being but then newly come to Age did at his desire to engage his Tenants the more effectually to the study and practice of Religion call together their Servants and Children every Lord's-day after the Afternoon Sermon and himself Catechiz'd them This I have often observ'd with great Satisfaction and as I am sure the mention of it is no dishonour to his Quality or Years so I wish that so memorable an Example of early Zeal for Piety may draw others to an Imitation of it Such familiar Instructions would be more readily and thankfully embrac'd by their Inferiours from those on whom their Secular Interest depends and whom they are sure nothing but compassionate Charity to their Souls can prompt to so much condescension But to return to Mr. Trench's Diary Glanstenb May 24. 1680. I had been Abus'd Censured and Slander 's Faithfulness and Plain-dealing had hard returns But my Duty was comfortable though against the stream I had Witnesses of my Integrity above and within and in the considence thereof was plain and free with the injurious Party to whom I still return'd Good for Evil Prayers and Services for many and cruel Wrongs The Guilty at length exprest a great and sorrowful sense of what was past asking God forgiveness and his unworthy Servant and promis'd what had flown out in Passion against Truth should be rectified and my Innocence clear'd I was still praising God who enabled me to do my Duty against such cutting Provocations and gave me so much kindness where I less expected it Glast Jan. 1. 1681. Thankful acknowledgments of continued Goodness to me and mine especially for any Sincerity and Diligence in encreasing my own and others Knowledge Love and Obedience Breathings after more and more Holiness That by any means I might be more like my Heavenly Father more faithful in endeavouring his Glory and the good of men and more happy in success Prayers for constant Assistance were quickned by the sudden sinking and dying of an old Acquaintance Mr. S who was commonly very chearful full of comfortable consident Expressions of Resignation to and trust in God and of unconcernedness for and elevation above lower temporal matters Yet on the Death of a Friend and Wife all fail'd and he soon sunk and died What need to please and seek to God continually that he may keep us strong in himself and the power of his might Glast July 10. 1682. I comply'd to stay at Glast though sollicited by other Friends to be nearer them with hearty Prayers to be more laborious and successful for their good particularly Sir Th's whom I had great reason to love I had comfortable hopes of my own Sincerity but not without trouble for my sluggishness and wandring Thoughts I reflected on the prime of my Health and Briskness not improv'd as became me for God acknowledging it just I should not be honour'd to do him any considerable Service and begg'd pardon and strength of Body and Soul and good success For his infinite unaccountable Mercy and Goodness in our dearest Saviour Glast May 28. 1683. I found several Notes of my own Sincerity and with more considence Distractions were my trouble against which my Prayers were still directed I had design'd to receive the Sacrament in Cranbroke-Church not from fear for which there was then no occasion but from sense of Duty and trouble for the neglect thereof I had been for it and oft declar'd my Judgment But the vehement Aversion and disswasion of several good Men had kept me from doing it there But I was at length satisfied I ought not to please them therein but to obey the Commands of Christian Vnity Communion and Love to perform a Duty and partake of a Priviledge sadly neglected and take away that Offence which forbearance would six before some who mistakingly cry out against Offence when through their own Faults displeas'd My Body had continued very crazy Lungs sensibly heated and swell'd by the Catarrh notwithstanding many means but God sent me to London made my Friends urge me to better advice and blest what was prescrib'd especially Milk variously prepar'd and mixt with quick and strange success Wishes were for an Heart more drawn and warm'd by Divine Goodness and Love My Work at Glastenbury drawing to an end my Conscience witness'd that I had endeavour'd to promote the Essentials of Religion not our unhappy Differences with as little appearance of Schism or Faction as I could Brenchley Nov. 20. 1684. Our 6th Son was Bapitz'd and named Thomas by Mr. Monkton our Minister at Brenchley I hop'd he had not only the Token but the saving benefit of the Covenant praying he might live and faithfully embrace it for himself Brenchley July 5. 1685. This Day I received the Sacrament renewing my Covenant with my God who is my All. I converse little with Men but enough to see and hear of many lamentable sinful Distempers Lord make all better and keep such as profess greater Purity from impure Heats and Mistakes and from doing Evil under pretence of Good July 21. I endeavoured as I ought to be affected with the Sins and Sufferings of so many My Thoughts have been frequently of God and my Discourses with several as I had opportunity I hope they would have been better if less disturb'd by bodily indisposition which still clouds my Head O for a better Head and Heart to glorifie my good God and Saviour in doing and suffering whatever pleaseth him Brenchly Octob. 7. 1685. Being entred into the 43d Year of my Life I reflected on my carriage towards God and Man what I had been and done in the World and what grounds I had to hope for a better The Result whereof I write for future use I hope without partiality God grant I may yet write better I am unfeignedly willing to know the worst of my self I think I have good ground to hope I have found the benefit of an early and sincere Dedication to God by my good Parents and of their careful Education and frequent Prayers and the many other Spiritual Advantages I enjoy'd I am pretty well assur'd that I have chosen God for my Portion Rest and Happiness and that I prefer not the Profits Pleasures and Honours of this World before him I desire no more thereof than is needful for his Service heartily desiring and seeking first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness and expecting other things in due subordination I have I hope heartily humbly and thankfully accepted the Lord Christ as offered in the Gospel to be my Saviour
traise To us thankfuliness in a fruitful Iâ—se After almost two Years abode at Oxfor I left that Vniversity also being sent about 7 Months after to Leyden by my good Father who was willing I should study Physick Before I went I understood his unfaithfulness whom I had trusted to right those I had wrong'd and left with a better Man more than I could think due to any except those my self righted In Holland I enjoy'd good Company good Ministery and my more intimate Converse with P. C. was useful We only were together in a Dutch Papist's House where he labour'd exceedingly under great Terrours and Sorrows for Sin having many bitter Pangs and long Agonies with plenty of Tears and Cries which the Papist taking notice of charg'd our Religion as uncomfortable I help'd him as I could He recovered by degrees yet not fully till after our return to England My Affection encreas'd with his Scriousness deadness to this World and vigour for a better with the Thought whereof he seem'd wholly taken up His Friends and himself at length inclining to his Marriage at their desire I recommended him to a Gentlewoman wish'd to me He was not then accepted but afterwards reviv'd his Suit and by other help obtain'd her I refus'd to act farther being dissatisfied with that change of his Company Garb and Carriage c. that followed his Father's death and his own remove to Grey's-Inn I had Reason to be glad I did no more for having obtained the Gentlewoman who prov'd desirable so inclin'd to Vertue that he profess'd he must be very faulty if she prov'd not very good He brought her to Lincoln's-Inn Fields engag'd her in vain Company carried her to Plays Entertainments c. I lovingly though plainly represented his Faults and Duty and pray'd for him not without appearance of Success he removing into the Country and living more restrainedly But he grew strange to me and I have some reason to fear the worst Thou O Lord hear and help and recover out of the Snare of the Devil Keep me though believing the best from considence in Man and from making of Matches seeing one of whose Piety I had such assurance hath so grosly fail'd and let all make me more humble and watchful I saw at Leyden and other places notwithstanding their reformed Discipline reason enough to love my own Country still better and therefore my inclination to Divinity still continuing though I had made some progress in Physick after about a years absence I return'd 1664 continuing with my Parents at London till the Plagve and Fire for awhile removed us Midsummer 1688 we came to Crouched-Fryars and with my Brother was happy in comforting and diverting my Father till we were Witnesses of his blessed Departure He left beside my self dear Brother Thomas born Apr. 14 1648. We always lov'd and can hardly remember any quarrel between us The youngest Sister Sarah also survived born May 23. May we see her New-born May I do my Duty to promote it Soon after my Father's death I was seiz'd by a Feavourish Distemper accompani'd with Hypochondriac winds c. which continued and enforc'd serious Consideration I found in my self a great change Prayer and Reading had above 7 Years been my constant practice I was temperate in Meats Drinks Apparel c. I hope truly humble scrupulously careful to do no wrong losing rather I gave the Poor constantly the 10th and of late the 7th part of my Income Oaths and Curses which once and again I had been guilty of I long since abhorr'd and could not hear without trouble Yet I was dejected that though I had pleas'd and rejoyc'd my Parents I had not been in all things so complying as I should and yet more because I had not so diligently improv'd my Time for God as I might I hope I heartily repented denying my self and bearing Inconveniences for my good Mother and resolving on greater Diligence in doing getting good I was likewise anxious whether Restitution were certainly made for the wrongs I had done in Cambridge 10 Years before and determin'd to enquire and do what was further requisite I was sensible of the kindness of this Affliction in the aforesaid search and resolves and in a farther change of my Temper growing more meek humble and charitable I felt more my own vitious Impotence and the necessity of Divine Grace as being having and doing nothing good but as the Spirit makes me every moment Before I recovered from this Sickness I was forsaken by my thoughts of Conforming to the establish'd Church by submitting to the Terms impos'd on Ministers to which I had been sufficiently inclin'd by the Reasons and Examples of several pious and judicious Persons The formidable Horrours of my Conscience the dread of their return by reason of some doubts I could not well remove determin'd me rather to a private Life which I desir'd to render as useful as I might I remember when I was one Day discoursing him about Ministerial Conformity he told me 'T was the Declaration of Assent and Consent to all things contained in and prescribed by the Book of Common-Prayer and the Form and manner of Ordaining and Consecrating Bishops Priests and Deacons that he chiefly stuck at and could not think that Declaration could be sincerely made by such whose Judgments disapprov'd so many Things in those Two Books as his did And he was the more confirm'd in his Aversion to so ensnaring a Declaration by observing several others of his Acquaintance that had made it though under the same dissatisfaction with himself concerning several Things contain'd in these Books by giving it a looser Construction than he thought the Words capable of to become less strict and conscientious in other Duties of Religion than they had been before Which visible declension from their former seriousness and circumspection he was afraid might flow from their having too far suffer'd their Judgment to be sway'd and byass'd by their Interest in a matter of so great Importance Hackney Sept. 10. 1670. I return'd from Deal after 3 Days stay with my dear Brother going to Aleppo I parted sadly with one so dear in the strictest bands of Love and Nature yet we encourag'd our selves in our good God whose Favour we had so experienc'd together and hop'd we should still enjoy when so far asunder I desired all might make me more long and labour after and prepare for Heaven where Friends part not bitterly any more and where God is All in All for ever Hackney Octob. 11. 1670. I grew ill of a Quartan Ague as it quickly proved My Prayers were for Christian Patience and Wisdom to bear the worst and make a good Improvement of all that God might be glorified my self and others bettered and Christ more comfortably in life and death Advantage June 20. 1671. Trying Enfield-Air for removing my Ague I rode into the Chase and being among the Trees thoughtful and careless my Horse by a great and sudden start turn'd