Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A76746
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The birth, life and death of John Frank
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1682
(1682)
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Wing B2978C; ESTC R232599
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8,501
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25
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presently and opened the Church door Iack sollowing him the people haring the Bell toll came to the Sexton to know what the matter was Iack sitting soberly in the Desk with the great books before him That Gentleman said the Sexton is to preach this afternoon With that the people made hast to the Church and when Iack saw a good number of them he pluckt off his Hat and turned over the Leaves first of one book and then the other for a little space and then gets him up into the Pulpit very devoutly and kneels down as though he would pray the people wondring all this while that the Parson did not read nor pray while he was in the Desk they fixed their eyes upon him and gave attention to him what they should hear from the Pulpit Iack as he kneeled mumbled to himself and lifted up his eyes still waiting to hear the Hrayer Iack rises up having a Common-prayer-book in his hand he opens it and turning over the leades he speaks thus to them Beloved saith he my Text is in the four and fortieth Chapter of St. Iohn and the hundred Verse then shutting the book again he begins to preach as he call'd it speaking such gibberish and nonsense as did amaze the people some turned over the leaves of their books backward and forward to find the Cext others listned to hear what he said some thought that he had spoken Latin Greek that they could not understand thus for a little time they expected but at length they found themselves deceived and that it was the Fool which all had known but for his black Cloaths So they went all home much ashamed to see themselves beguiled by a Fool Iack was very proud that he had preach'd and went to his Masters House where every one was joy'd for they wondred what was become of him but when they heard what he had done they laughed heartily How Iack deceived Mr. Sorrel a Rich Yeoman of Pudings and Links which hung up in the Chimney JACK was often upon the ramble and one day he went to this Yeomans House who loved much to make sport with him the Servants being all busie some in the Barn and some abroad among the Cattel there was none but he and the Fool all alone Mr. Sorrel says Jack shall us play at Blindmans-buff ay saith he with all my heart Jack you shall be blinded says Jack that I will Jack saith he so pinning a Napkin about his Head and Eyes now turn about says Jack but you see Mr. Sorrel you see no good faith Jack saith he I do not see Jack shuffled up and down the Ritchin also for to catch him and still cry'd you see Mr. Sorrel you see but when the Fool perceived indeed that he did not see he went to the Chimney and whipt down some of the Puddings into his Pockets and so he did full as he came to that end of the room till he had filled both his Pockets and Breeches with them which was soon done though they were large for he was very quick The doors being open Jack runs away so fast as he could leaving the good man blinded who wondring that he did not hear the Fool cryed out Jack Jack but finding no answer he pull'd off the Napkin and saw the Fool was gone that he had taken many of his Links and Puddings with him he was so enraged that he sent his Blood-Hound after him which when Iack did perceive that the Dog came after him he took a Pudding and flung to the Dog the Dog smelling to the Pudding Iack gained ground the while and still as the Dog followed him he threw a pudding back and so he did till he had got into a House This was soon spread abroad to the great shame and vexation of the honest man that he could not endure to hear of it It fortun'd long time after that Mr. Sorrel among other Tenants did go to pay his duty and respects to the Lord where Iack then lived Iack espying him went up and told his Lady that Mr. Sorrel was come the Lady being afraid that the Fool should offend him by speaking of the Puddings threatning him saying Sirrah if you speak one word of the Pudding you shall be Whipt No says Iack I will not But when the Lord and Lady was at Dinner and Mr. Sorrel and the rest with them Iack goes to Mr. Sorrel shakes him by the hand saying how do you do Mr. Sorrel how do you then whispering as it were to him but so loud that all the company did hear him Mr. Sorrel says Jack not a word of the Pudding Mr. Sorrel at which they all could not forbear laughing but the good man was so much ashamed that the company were sorry to see and never came there no more Ever since it is a by word to say not a word of the Pudding How Iack served a Gentleman who had a great Nose THere was a Gentleman who came often to this Lords Table who had a very great Nose which every one took notice of and in his absence would speak of him Jack hearing them he would also be talking of the great nose Now fearing lest he should speak of it at any time to the Gentleman he was soundly chidden for prating so that they thought he would not dare to mention it any more But one day this Gentleman being there at Dinuer Iack stands by him and peeping in his face calls to the Lord and Lady saying do you hear my Lord do you hear Madam do you see this Gentleman here he has no nose at all at which every one laughed heartily but the Gentleman was much ashamed How Iack hired a Servant to dwell with him JACK having borrowed a Scarlet Cloak a fine laced Band and a good Hat he puts them on throwing his Cloak over one shoulder so that it quite hid his Calve-skins and goes into the Park where many people passed thorow upon sufferance and there Iack walks up and down very proudly There comes a poor man to him begging thinking he had been some brave Gentleman I will give you nothing says Iack why don't you go to work so I would Sir saith the poor man if I could get any why do you not go to Service saith Iack If it please you Sir I cannot tell where to get a Service what can you do saith Iack I can do any thing answered the man can you pump Water and carry Wood and wash Bucks says Iack Yes Sir says the beggar that 's well says Iack what Wages must I give you what you please Sir said the beggar then said Iack I 'le give you three pound a year I thank your Worship said he Come home with me said the Fool so Iack comes home to his Lords house the Man follows him and there he sets him down in the Porch and asks the Man divers Questions at last comes the Lords steward and hearing Iack call to the Man and ordering him
his business stands a while to hear then steps to Iack saying What now Iack have you hired a servant this Morning yes says the Fool shaking his Ears and laughing the poor man then perceiving that he was deceived he did not know which way to look but however though he were mistaken in his Master yet he obtained a bountiful Alms from the Lord who with the rest of the Family were dery much pleas'd with the conceit of the Fool. How Iack complained of Mary Dover she would not make him clean when having taken Physick he had bewrayed himself THere was also in this Lords House a Woman Fool whose name was Mary Dover and she was imployed by every one to do all the meanest Offices Jack had always a delinght to take all or any kind of Physick he could get one of the Family had one day given him a Purge to take his Wife as he did call her being the Landry Maid called him to his usual work to beat the buck poor Jack pull'd off his Doublet as at other times and stood beating the Linnen till he bewrayed himself so that it ran down to his Heels the Fool finding his breeches ad stackings in such a case fell a crying aloud and stamping for Mary Dover to make him clean but she refusing to do it he comes crying into the Parlor in this shitten condition where his Lady sat at Supper complaining to her that he had taken Physick and Mary Dover would not make him clean the Lady with the rest of the company could not sit at the Table for the stink yet could not forbear laughing to see him so furprized and crying so grievously but his presence at that time not to be endured she commanded one of the Servants to leâ—d him forth the room and to cause Mary Dover to do that office for none else would clean him and then he came in again and made very good sport The poor Fool being very hungry after his physick every one gave him some meat which he d d eat so greedily as though he would choak himself they ever and anon would ask him questions and his mouth was so full he could not speak and his Chaps so greasie as if they had been in a dripping pan When he had eaten pretty well he wanted soâ—e drink which was given him good Ale and tâ—en Jack's tongue began to run freely making many prâ—tty Iests by chance for he could not do it otherwise How Iack in his rambles went into an Inn at Witsford-Bridge and â—ow he served the people of the House JAck having rambled about till he was very hungry went into an Inn at Witsford-Bridge and asked his host what he should have for his Supper the Hust knew that he was such a Lords Fool thought he had money offered him a good Breast of Mutton which was then ready roasted of which Jack was very glad for he loved fat meat very well so a Napkin being laid and bread and drink brought he sat down soverly to cat and drink And when he had eaten all he asked what was to pay they told him two and twenty pence for meat bread and drink well said he pulling out two bâ—ass farthings here saith he pay your self give me thâ— rest again they laughing asking him for more money but he told them he had no more nor indeed he had not nor did he know brass from gold or silver so they let him go quietly How Iack served a Justice of Peace that jested with him A Iustice of Peace being one day at this Lords Table who loved to jest with every one Jack being in the room to make sport and having then a new Calves skin suit on red and white spotted a young puppy in his arms much of the same colour of his suit said to the Iustice jogging him is not this puppy like me the Iustice turns him aside to Jack saying Jack it is very liâ—e thee now there is puppies Jack ha ha ha saith Jack and so he goes with his puppy diwn stairs for he could not eat while that was under his arm presently after he came again inbto the dining room and knocking the Iustice on the back with his fist the Iustice turning him about to Jack looked a little angry how is it Iustice says Jack are you angry shake hands and be friends the Iustice gave him his hand which Jack shaked with both his hands saying aloud and laughing now thee is two fools Iustice two fools two fools at which they all laught heartily to fee this great wit affronted by a fool especially one Gentleman of quality who but a few minutes before this Iustice had abused by Jesting for he was of that temper that he would Iest but never take none It is not good to play with edged tools Neither is it good to jest too much with fools Here follows many pritty Sayings and Jests of Iack which are very witty and worth observing JAck's Lord and Lady going forth one day in the Coach Jack had obtained the favour to run by the Coach side and upon the way they met another Lords Coach whose Gentleman riding by the Coach and seeing Jack puts off his Hat in derision and bows himself saying I pray whose Fool are you The Fool-presently pulls off his Calve-skin Cap and shakes his Ears saying I am my Lord M's Fool pray whose Fool are you The Gentleman being thus answered was much ashamed and rode away and Jack went his way Jack standing by one time where some Gentlemen were talking and hearing 'em talk of Round-heads Round-heads said Jack to himself ay Jack said one of them what is a round-head now this Gentleman who askt him was a round-head bat would not be thought one what 's a round-head says Jack a round-head is one that has no with at all give me your hand Sir says Jack the Gentleman did so ha ha ha and shaked it saying there I mumpt you the rest laughed he laughed though he were vexed One Night his Lady being at Supper Jack came into the room bawling aloud that he could not get the Coachman to buy him a Chamber-pot Madam saith he the Coach-man wont buy me a pot and I am tain to rise in the night to make water in the yard In my shirt and I have got a Cough must I not have some Sugar-Candy Madam the Lady laughed to think how seasonable he was in his request but gave order to the Coach-man to buy him what he wanted In the time of the Ladies Lying-Inn Iack found that he carried up more wood than at other times to the Chamber door he having his Arms full of wood throws it down making a great noise therewith saying to himself aloud Pox take my Lady I think she burns more wood then her body is worth One time Iack coming late to dinner in the Hall and seein there was no room for him at the table he runs forth and comes presently in again saying do you hear sirs the King is come into the back yard with his Coach and six Horses and a great many men they not knowing what to think ran all out to see in the mean time Iack sets him down and carves for himself they coming into the yard could see no body there but laughed to think how the Fool had out-witted them He being asked one day what would become of him when he was dead I shall lye in the ground saith he till Gods Trumpet sounds and then shall I rise again and go into Heaven I but what will you say said one to him when Gods Trumpet sounds to call you before him he answered God will not require more then he hath given me which words so unexpected did much ameze all that heard him He was duly morning and evening at prayers in the Chappel though he had no understaâ—dâ—ng and every night in his Chamber he would pray thus by himself Lord said he thou knawest I can do nothing of my self Lord thou knowest I can do nothing Lord have mercy upon me and help me He lived till about fourscoâ—e years and died in a Kâ—ights house in Eâ—field-Parish swhere he was handsomely buried and that knew him being very sory for his death poor innocent soul who did no evil than by evil examples There might be more said of him but that may serve for a second part 〈◊〉 these Stories I hope will be the more pleaing because they are true The Contents 1. How Iack went to market with his Masters Caterer and how he sold a Basket of Fish for a Mag-Pye 2. How Iack and the Taylor lay together and how Iack one morning was found set on stride a great high beam in the Chamber and the Taylor found dead in his bead with his neck broke 3. How Iack was accused by a Wench tâ— be the father of her Child 4. How Iack deceived a Sexton and got into a Church to preach 5. How Iack deceived Mr. Sorrel a rich Yeoman of Puddings and Links which hung up in his Chimney 6. How Iack served a Gentleman who had a great Nose 7. How Iack hired a Servant to dwell witâ— him 8. How Iack complained of Mary Dover she would not make him clean whâ—n he had bewrayed himself 9. How Iack in his rembles went to Witsford-Bridge and how he served the people of the House 10. How Iack served a Iustice of the Peaâ—â— who jested with him FINIS