Sister who told her the Estate shou'd come to her and her Children after their Death the Eldest having no Children of her own she consented to them and run away into another County with her Father's Chaplin who had got a pair of Jack-Boots and put himself into a Troopers habit just when her Brother came to take Possession of the Estate and turn all out of Doors Her Husband who I told you was a sort of Unthinking good-natur'd Man being with my Master at that time he told him he heard his Eldest Daughters Husband design'd to Seiz on his Estate and turn him out of Door The Young Gentleman who seem'd to have no hand in the Plot told him 'T was Imposseeble and yet the next Morning went away to his Brother and left his Father His Wife coming back as soon as her Father was turn'd out and his Estate Seiz'd Having heard the Gentleman's Story out We all Commiserated the Unhappy Condition of the Injur'd Father and pitied the Meagre Gentleman that told the Story Upon which a Passenger that sat next but one to me addressing himself to him said I have heard your Tale and am sorry for your Misfortunes and tho' it is not in my Power to help you yet Sir for your Diversion I 'll tell you a Parallel Story to that which you have told and indeed not much unlike it only yours is of Unnatural Children and mine is of a Cruel Father which without any farther Preface is as follows The Second Tale. The Cruel Father THere Liv'd not long since in one of the largest Counties in England a Nobleman that shall be Nameless whose Nobility of Birth and great Estate had dignify'd him with the Title of Lord Lieutenant of the County where he liv'd and where he might have liv'd happily to this Day had not he been far more remarkable for Wickedness than for his Birth It would be hard to give an Exact Character of him he was so great a Compound of all Vice but Cruelty and Revenge had the Ascendant over all the rest and his thirst after Blood was insatiable which made him Implacable towards all whom he thought to have Injur'd him He did indeed profess the Popish Religion but that in the late Reigns was thought no Crime and it is hard to say whether his Religion made him so Cruel or his Cruelty made him turn Papist for he was bred a Protestant in his Younger Days but this is certain he was Proud Revengeful and Malicious and wou'd carry on his Designs by Treachery and Deceit his Words wou'd be smoother than Oyl when the greatest Villany was in his Heart and it was shrewdly suspected by many that he caus'd his own Brother to be Poisoned that he might Enjoy his Estate And this was very common to him that he wou'd commit Twenty Villanies to cover one and but to know that any Person suspected him was to have that Person taken out of the World to which End he always kept a Crew of Beggarly Cut-throats depending upon him which would Swear any Man out of his Life upon occasion especially if he was Rich and there was any hope of Forfeitures to fall to the King which he wou'd be sure to beg and thereby gratifie his Knights of the Post out of the Ill-gotten Spoils But if the Person prov'd too great to be taken off under a Pretence of Justice his Crew were ready at his Beck to Cut their Throats and then to lay the Crime on the Person they had so Murder'd as if he had done it himself He turn'd out all honest Gentlemen from being Justices of the Peace or Officers of the Militia in the County where he was Lord Lieutenant and affected an Arbitrary Rule and Domination in all that he did not caring what he Swore or how he took his Oath so that no Man cou'd use that Confession in the common Prayer We have done those things we ought not to have done and left undone those things we ought to have done better than himself And such as himself was were his Servants likewise being a Pack of the greatest Villains that ever scap'd the Gallows as forward to do any Mischief as he was to set 'em about it The most beggarly Scoundrels and Blood thirsty Rascals that ever came into the Service of a Gentleman their only Vertue being Passive-Obedience for they were for the most part such Cowards that they knew not how to resist And yet this Gentleman as wicked as he was had two fair Daughters whose Piety and Vertue was so great and Exemplary that it did more than Compensate for all their Fathers Ills who every Day offer'd up Pious Prayers to Heaven to turn him from the Evil of his Ways and griev'd to see the courses that he took Who in return repay'd them Hatred for their Love and Duty tho' for no other Reason but because they were Vertuous and wou'd not turn Papists as their Father had done but both continu'd Zealous Protestants The Eldest of them who was much the fairest of the Two and was the Wonder of her Sex for Piety and Vertue was Married to a Gentleman so truly Noble and Compleat in all Perfections as if his Brest had been the Magazine of all the Vertues for there they had their Constant Residence His Actions were always the Product of a well-grounded Judgment having Reason and Religion for their Basis In all his Attempts he was Brave and Undaunted but wou'd never attempt an Unjust thing He was always a great Assertor of the Liberty of Mankind and always an Enemy to Popery and Slavery for which reason his Father-in-Law hated him I have forgot to tell you That the Lord Lieutenant had a mighty kindness for a Great Man in a Neighbouring County who govern'd the People there with the extremest rigor and severity Imaginable using all manner of Cruelty and Oppression towards 'em breaking down all the Bounds and Fences of Law and Justice and making no Distinction either of Right or Wrong not Valuing the most Sacred Laws and Edicts that had been Confirmed with the greatest Solemnity so that none that knew him wou'd ever trust him if they cou'd avoid it and whoever did was sure to come off a Loser For Vows nor Oaths cou'd hold him any longer than till he had an Opportunity to break ' em This was tâ—â— only Crony of the Lord Lieutenant who â—dmir'd his Conduct and follow'd his Examplâ— in all he cou'd But his Noble Son-in-law had always oppos'd his Practices and hindred him several times from Oppressing his Neighbours as he design'd to have done Which made his Father hate him the more for he lov'd no body so well as this old Tyrant and had rather his Estate shou'd fall into his hands than into the hands of his Son-in-Law Who having as I said Married the Eldest Daughter and having no Son the Estate must of Necessity fall into his hands which the Lord Lieutenant and his Lady a Popish Bigot like her Husband
thus Endeavour'd to prevent They gave out a Report and spread it abroad that his Lady was with Child who to make herself appear big wore a Cushion upon her Belly and understanding that two or three Poor Women that were their Neighbours were with Child at that time had agreed to take away one of them that shou'd be a Boy and privately convey it to her who shou'd then pretend to be brought a Bed and it shou'd pass for her own Child Who by that means shou'd be the Heir of the Estate and be brought up in the Popish Religion and so his two Heretick Daughters and their Issue shou'd be Excluded This Cursed Design to deprive his Children of their Right was mightily hugg'd by him and his Lady who thought the matter laid so well it cou'd admit of no Discovery But it often falls out the Crafty are taken in their own Snares for as closely as the Design was laid several of their own Servants having a Watchful Eye over all that past and who pretended to be much in their Interest and shew'd a great Inclination to turn to their Religion tho' in their hearts they abhorr'd both their Religion and Practice especially this his Villanous Contrivance against his own Children upon which account they were sworn to Secrecy and let into all the Design by which means it came more particularly to be discover'd Besides which several of the Gentry and chief Freeholders in the County were very suspicious of the Imposture and amaz'd at the Villany of the Contrivance which yet was mightily Encourag'd and cry'd up by that old Rogue I have before Spoken of in the adjoyning County from whom he generally took all his Measures The time of the pretended Lying-in being come for that a poor Cottager one of their Tennant's Wives being deliver'd of a lusty Boy Notice was instantly given to the Lady thereof who presently orders the Child to be brought and then feigns to fall into Labour in which she made a great crying out to put a gloss upon the matter but it was quickly over for the Child was born to her hands which was well known to several of the Servants However it was presently publish'd that a Son was born and great Rejoycings made upon it But the Gentry and several of the Freeholders of the County being now beyond all Doubt assur'd of the Imposture were extreamly troubled at the Daringness of this Wicked Contrivance and justly reflected that since their Lord Lieutenant had been guilty of so great a Piece of Barbarity to his own Children there was no Wickedness that he wou'd stick at and consequently that both their Lives and Estates were in continual Danger from him And they had so much the greater reason to fear this because but the Day before his Lady pretended to be brought a Bed he had caus'd several of the Principal Clergy of the County whose watchful Eyes he was afrai'd would have discover'd his Villany to be accus'd of Disloyalty to the King and clapt up into Prison having also sometime before sent down a Bloody Villain that was his chief Servant into the Western Parts of the County and made it almost a meer shambles upon the like Shameless Pretences and being great at Court no Complaints there wou'd be heard against him Besides he was so upheld in all his Wickedness by that old Villain the Lord Lieutenant of the adjoyning County between whom and himself there was so strict a Friendship and Amity that he now began to think himself above the Fear of Punishment Upon all these Considerations several of the Principal Gentry and Free-holders of the County secretly consulted together what they shou'd do for the Preservation of their Lives and Estates and found they had no Remedy left but to send to their Lord Lieutenant's Eldest Daughter's Husband who was a Gentleman of great Interest and Power both in his own County and in the Lord Lieutenant's and who was both Wise and Valiant and of Unspotted Integrity and Honour of which all that knew him were very sensible For there had been very great offers made to him some time ago both by his Father-in-law and his Old Neighbouring Brother in Iniquity That if he wou'd change his Religion and come into their Interest he shou'd have whatever he wou'd ask But he generously refus'd their offer and let 'em know that he wou'd not do a dishonest thing to be made the greatest Prince in Europe after which they always both fear'd and hated him Being come to this Result they sent two or three Gentlemen to him privatly who gave him an Account of the then sad Condition their County Religion Lives and Liberties were in by the Arbitrary and Tyrannical Proceedings of their Lord Lieutenant and likewise how lately he had substituted an Impostor instead of a Son as was pretended to deprive him and his Lady of their Natural Birth-right Adding That he cou'd neither Answer it to God his Country his own Conscience nor his Lady if he thus suffer'd her to be depriv'd of her Birth-right by an Impostor Having maturely consider'd of these things and especially of the Danger both Religion and Liberty were in by these Violent Proceedings of his Father-in-law and how Dishonourable a thing it wou'd be to Suffer a Beggars Brat to deprive his Lady of that Inheritance which is her Right he resolv'd to accept of their Invitation and at least to reason the Case with his Father-in-law about it But knowing well how Deceitful and Treacherous he was in all his Actions he thought it wou'd be a great piece of Imprudence in himself if he shou'd put himself into his Father's hands and therefore took along with him several of his best Friends as well to be a Guard to his Person as to advise him in any difficult Emergencies that shou'd happen He was no sooner come into the County but the whole County express'd an Extraordinary Joy looking upon him to be as indeed he was their Friend and their Deliverer The first thing he did upon his coming into the County was to send a Letter to his Father to let him know he was coming to wait upon him and to Endeavour to compose the Differences that had unhappily fallen out between him and the Free-holders and Gentlemen of the County and also to Enquire into the Truth of a Report that had been brought to him about the Imposture of his Pretended Son which he shou'd be very glad to find false Upon the receiving of this Letter the Lord Lieutenant chang'd his Countenance but when he had read it and found his Son-in-law had an Account of what had been done relating to his pretended Son his Guilt flew in his Face and he was fill'd with the greatest Consternation imaginable and presently sent away his Lady and her pretended Son to his Neighbouring Companion in Mischief by whose advice he had all along steer'd his Course The next Day the Lord Lieutenant was in a great agony in himself the horror
of his Wickedness and the just Vengeance due to him on that Account made him extream Uneasie so that instead of Adjusting things fairly as his Son-in-law desir'd being conscious to himself that he was justly hated by the generality of the People in the County he rather chose to with-draw himself out of the County and go after his Lady and her pretended Son than to look his Son-in-law in the Face whom he had so much wrong'd The News of his having with-drawn himself out of the County was no sooner known but it caus'd a general Rejoycing none being sorry for it but a few beggarly Scoundrels whom he had made the Instruments of his Injustice and Cruelty whose chief Sorrow was that they had now no more opportunity to ruine their Neighbours And his Son-in-law having taken Possession of the Estate which of Right belong'd to him he was soon after chosen Lord Lieutenant in the Room of his Father-in-law This made the old Lord Lieutenant almost raving Mad who was still as Wicked as ever and now Plotted by all the ways and means he cou'd to take away his Life sometimes by Poyson and at other times by Assassinating him as he rid upon the Road but being the Darling and Peculiar Care of Heaven he has hitherto been preserv'd and I hope will always be so having done nothing but what became an honest and worthy Gentleman Himself his Lady and her Sister having Justify'd themselves to be the best of Children to the worst of Fathers As soon as the Gentleman had made an end of this Tale and we had all shew'd our Resentments at the Barbarousness and Cruelty of so unnatural a Father one that had said nothing all this while but sat as if he had been asleep having rous'd up himself said Well Gentlemen I have heard both your Tales which I take to be one and the same divers ways told but you have done neither side that Right which a Printed Copy of Verses has done that I found t'other day at the End of a Book and which for the Ingenuity of 'em I committed to Memory and if you please Gentlemen for your further Diversion I 'll Repeat as well as I can We were all desirous to hear what they were and so intreated him to begin Which he did thus The Third Tale. WHAT I am going to repeat is call'd A Dialogue between the late King James and King William after the Battle of the Boyn in Ireland The Words are these King James No Injur'd Monarch can his Fate Explore A Father and an Vnkle's Right is more Nature pleads here your Blood is on my side Each beating Pulse and ev'ry Vein's Ally'd What Fever then thus boil'd you into Arms Is it Religion or the Crown that charms If from my Daughter 's Right your Claim you bring She is too Early Queen whilst I am King Your Love to her you shew by wronging Me You praise the Fruit and yet cut down the Tree That Crime Rome blusht to punish you pursue Make it your Conscience and your Glory too Why shou'd you shake my Glass so nearly done The Ebbing Sands have but a few to run King William I took but up that Crown you durst not wear And am Your Conquerour as well as Heir If Right Divine does unto Kings belong Where 's the Divine when once the King does Wrong All Monarchs did from Civil Contracts spring And he who breaks the Law Dissolves the King Nor can you here a Parent 's Right pretend For Publick Safety knows no Private Friend Thus Generous Pompey for his Countrey drew Forgot his Julia and her Caesar too King James New Titles may be scaffolded with Laws And frothy Monarchs of the Mobs applause Accept a Crown on Terms too mean to wear Then boast themselves they are the Peoples Heir But he that Crowns from Contracts does receive Is King at Will and Governs but by Leave A Marble Caesar ' Pinion'd to a Throne The People Regnant and the Monarch Stone King William When Men did first their Bruitish Lusts pursue And Force alone was all the Law they knew When Sense was Guardian and when Reason Young T was then the Weak submitted to the Strong Thus as the Bull walks Monarch of the Ground So Nimrod Caesar and the rest were Crown'd For he that cou'd Protect and Conquest bring Was from a Captain ripen'd to a King Thus they the People's Safety made their Choice And Heaven confirm'd it hy the People's Voice When you to Priests and Rome the Laws Betray'd The Injur'd Nation call'd to Me for Aid And 't is their Choice the Noblest Title brings For Subjects are the surest Guard to Kings When he had made an End of Repeating his Verses all the Passengers Commended them for Ingenious Lines and most of us were of Opinion that those attributed to King William were more to the purpose than those of the late King James Whilst we were thus discoursing of the matter a Country-like Fellow amongst us said Gentlemen I have heard your Discourse but it is above my Understanding nor indeed do I love to meddle with Kings and Princes they are Persons of too high a Quality for me to talk of And I am sure it wou'd be more to my purpose to talk of the Tilling of my Ground and the Sowing of my Corn for that 's a thing that will turn to some Account if GOD send a good Seed-time and Harvest And yet I am thankful to GOD that has given us such a good King and can drink his Health as heartily as any one but as to matters of State and Government that 's none of my Business Let us but serve GOD and obey the King and live quietly under his Administration and I don't doubt but we shall do well enough without Prescribing Rules to our Superiours For if the King and Parliament don't know how to order things I am sure I don 't And now Gentlemen since you have been telling Stories pray give me leave to tell a Story too but it shall be a very short one We were all taken with the Honest Plainness of the Country-man and bid him go on which he did thus The Fourth Tale. The Traveller and Lyon THERE was a certain Traveller that going thorow a Wood saw a huge Lyon lying upon the Ground which at first put him into a very great fright but seeing the Lyon lie still he began to recover himself again and went nearer him till at last he got so near that he perceiv'd the Lyon was asleep upon which being now grown a little fool-hardy he surveys him round about and mightily lik'd his Shaggy Neck and Noble Head but thought his hinder parts were not so handsome as they might be made for he had seen of your Island-Dogs which is a Creature very much resembling a Lyon in its shape and he had oft observ'd that the Shaving or cutting off the hair of their hinder parts made 'em look much more hand some and therefore they were generally