but_o a_o hatred_n and_o indignation_n against_o it_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o at_o this_o time_n i_o can_v but_o much_o tender_a person_n in_o the_o like_a condition_n who_o do_v manifest_a by_o a_o good_a conversation_n a_o real_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o their_o heart_n though_o live_v in_o a_o discovery_n below_o the_o privilege_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o not_o so_o to_o tender_v they_o as_o not_o to_o tender_v the_o glory_n of_o truth_n above_o they_o be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n in_o keep_v a_o strict_a separation_n from_o they_o in_o relation_n to_o their_o visible_a and_o public_a worship_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n three_o observation_n from_o the_o three_o forego_v reason_n first_o concern_v the_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o may_v be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n to_o life_n and_o godliness_n long_o before_o that_o soul_n come_v to_o enjoy_v life_n by_o believe_v second_o concern_v my_o be_v stay_v upon_o christ_n when_o i_o be_v like_a to_o sink_v upder_v my_o burden_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o soul_n may_v cleave_v to_o and_o real_o stay_v upon_o christ_n through_o some_o apprehension_n which_o present_v he_o lovely_a though_o it_o may_v be_v that_o which_o do_v not_o present_v he_o so_o lovely_a as_o indeed_o he_o be_v three_o concern_v that_o entire_a love_n i_o have_v to_o christ_n and_o his_o way_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n manifest_v to_o a_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o ordinary_o beget_v love_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o christ_n yet_o its_o possible_a there_o may_v be_v a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o before_o there_o be_v such_o a_o manifestation_n now_o have_v mind_v many_o particular_n as_o to_o my_o condition_n at_o that_o time_n when_o i_o do_v experience_n these_o thing_n i_o can_v altogether_o omit_v the_o kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o persecution_n which_o though_o it_o be_v but_o small_a comparative_o with_o some_o other_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o than_o some_o meet_v with_o and_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o do_v require_v some_o strength_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o undergo_v it_o with_o comfort_n in_o which_o he_o not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o judge_v it_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o it_o at_o that_o time_n present_a so_o i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o suffer_v not_o as_o a_o evil_a doer_n because_o what_o i_o do_v then_o be_v upon_o a_o conscientious_a account_n according_a to_o that_o light_n receive_v i_o can_v mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v hearty_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v lay_v to_o their_o charge_n but_o this_o book_n be_v intend_v by_o i_o as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o former_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o think_v it_o not_o altogether_o useless_a as_o to_o remember_v the_o time_n i_o be_v in_o that_o condition_n &_o the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o so_o also_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o and_o that_o be_v after_o the_o bishop_n be_v quite_o take_v away_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o sit_v of_o the_o late_a synod_n and_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o ensnare_v by_o the_o change_n of_o time_n and_o law_n for_o at_o that_o very_a time_n when_o the_o presbyterian_a party_n so_o call_v begin_v to_o reign_v and_o i_o may_v have_v reign_v with_o they_o and_o enjoy_v smile_n from_o they_o be_v convict_v of_o a_o further_a discovery_n of_o truth_n i_o leave_v they_o and_o be_v content_a to_o become_v a_o scorn_n and_o a_o byword_n among_o they_o though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v much_o respect_n from_o some_o of_o they_o all_o along_o yet_o my_o suffering_n from_o that_o party_n be_v far_o more_o than_o the_o former_a i_o can_v here_o mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v desire_v as_o for_o the_o former_a it_o may_v not_o be_v charge_v upon_o they_o only_o these_o general_a hint_n i_o hope_v will_v be_v sufficient_a to_o bring_v particular_n to_o my_o remembrance_n for_o these_o thing_n ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o because_o in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n much_o engage_v in_o praise_n to_o god_n and_o that_o several_a way_n one_o way_n and_o that_o not_o the_o least_o be_v that_o god_n have_v break_v their_o power_n for_o indeed_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o according_a to_o my_o observation_n and_o experience_n i_o have_v see_v as_o persecute_v a_o spirit_n in_o they_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o the_o former_a and_o they_o do_v appear_v as_o bitter_a if_o not_o more_o against_o such_o as_o be_v call_v anabaptist_n than_o ever_o the_o bishop_n do_v against_o those_o that_o be_v call_v puritan_n consider_v their_o time_n and_o power_n for_o as_o their_o time_n be_v short_a so_o when_o their_o power_n be_v high_a there_o be_v always_o a_o party_n which_o do_v a_o little_a awe_n they_o i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o that_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o i_o do_v likewise_o desire_v that_o god_n will_v destroy_v or_o at_o least_o keep_v under_o every_o persecute_v spirit_n under_o what_o name_n or_o title_n soever_o call_v till_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o repentance_n the_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o apprehend_v and_o believe_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o in_o believe_v to_o receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o this_o experience_n i_o can_v omit_v to_o write_v something_o concern_v the_o read_n of_o a_o book_n by_o which_o as_o a_o mean_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n i_o receive_v these_o never_o to_o be_v forget_v mercy_n after_o i_o have_v live_v about_o five_o or_o six_o year_n a_o strict_a professor_n be_v very_o confident_a and_o settle_a upon_o the_o lees_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n there_o come_v a_o man_n to_o the_o town_n where_o i_o live_v who_o though_o he_o be_v general_o repute_v to_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o he_o be_v much_o oppose_v as_o hold_v gross_a error_n in_o his_o judgement_n and_o hear_v many_o speak_v very_o bitter_o against_o he_o i_o do_v much_o ponder_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o daâ—ing_v as_o nicodemus_n speak_v concern_v christ_n john_n 7._o 50._o to_o judge_v before_o i_o hear_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v with_o he_o which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v he_o speak_v such_o thing_n as_o i_o never_o hear_v before_o which_o i_o then_o ignorant_o judge_v to_o be_v error_n the_o thing_n he_o chief_o speak_v of_o be_v about_o free_a grace_n the_o nature_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o though_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o gain_v say_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o he_o speak_v yet_o for_o fear_n of_o those_o evil_a consequence_n that_o a_o carnal_a heart_n may_v draw_v from_o they_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o after_o some_o discourse_n in_o much_o opposition_n yet_o not_o bitter_a against_o he_o in_o the_o close_a he_o desire_v to_o lend_v i_o a_o book_n in_o which_o he_o say_v concern_v the_o thing_n he_o speak_v i_o may_v find_v better_a satisfaction_n than_o he_o can_v give_v be_v but_o weak_a in_o expression_n so_o i_o take_v it_o home_o with_o i_o but_o be_v much_o afraid_a of_o error_n i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o own_o spirit_n whether_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o or_o not_o but_o fear_v lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o shut_v my_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o this_o result_n that_o i_o will_v read_v it_o but_o first_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o what_o be_v truth_n in_o it_o i_o may_v embrace_v and_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v and_o preserve_v i_o from_o error_n which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o the_o book_n be_v to_o exalt_v god_n and_o lay_v low_a the_o creature_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o as_o also_o with_o some_o other_o particular_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n these_o minister_n who_o word_n be_v then_o as_o oracle_n to_o i_o do_v so_o much_o cry_v out_o against_o it_o charge_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o it_o be_v full_a of_o error_n of_o dangerous_a consequence_n that_o when_o i_o come_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o it_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n
condition_n and_o what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o who_o as_o i_o have_v former_o hint_v be_v much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o i_o who_o also_o declare_v that_o he_o have_v in_o a_o measure_n receive_v the_o like_a mercy_n which_o do_v much_o increase_v my_o joy_n then_o i_o remember_v he_o desire_v we_o may_v seek_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n and_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o these_o and_o all_o his_o mercy_n in_o which_o duty_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o abundant_o to_o manifest_v himself_o to_o we_o thereby_o testify_v his_o acceptance_n of_o we_o that_o for_o a_o while_o we_o sit_v in_o admiration_n neither_o of_o we_o scarce_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o tear_n and_o true_o it_o be_v such_o a_o mercy_n that_o i_o trust_v we_o shall_v for_o ever_o admire_v it_o at_o least_o in_o these_o five_o particular_n first_o that_o god_n shall_v deal_v so_o faithful_o with_o we_o in_o relation_n to_o his_o promise_n that_o when_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v to_o the_o right_a hand_n or_o to_o the_o left_a he_o cause_v we_o to_o hear_v his_o voice_n behind_o we_o say_v this_o be_v the_o way_n walk_v in_o it_o esay_n 30._o 21._o second_o that_o when_o we_o be_v stray_v from_o truth_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v keep_v we_o that_o we_o stray_v no_o further_a that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v to_o the_o height_n of_o those_o notion_n deny_v the_o church_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o blaspheme_v the_o truth_n as_o very_o many_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o three_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v so_o fatherly_a and_o tender_o in_o his_o restore_n of_o we_o that_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o extraordinary_a affliction_n or_o chastisement_n neither_o be_v we_o at_o any_o time_n a_o trouble_n to_o the_o church_n or_o grief_n to_o any_o saint_n i_o know_v of_o four_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o bring_v we_o off_o so_o clear_o from_o those_o thing_n for_o many_o be_v bring_v off_o from_o they_o and_o yet_o there_o be_v still_o so_o much_o confusion_n remain_v upon_o their_o spirit_n that_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o discern_v whether_o they_o be_v bring_v off_o or_o no._n five_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o mercy_n to_o both_o of_o we_o &_o that_o at_o one_o &_o the_o same_o time_n and_o that_o at_o our_o return_n he_o shall_v manifest_v such_o a_o sweet_a acceptance_n of_o we_o melt_v our_o heart_n into_o tear_n of_o joy_n to_o our_o mutual_a comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o each_o other_o and_o so_o that_o stream_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v now_o turn_v from_o run_v after_o lie_a vanity_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o re-establish_a and_o confirm_v we_o every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o in_o the_o truth_n turn_v this_o sad_a yet_o bless_v experience_n to_o his_o praise_n and_o our_o great_a advantage_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o i_o trust_v shall_v be_v a_o mercy_n that_o shall_v stand_v we_o in_o stead_n at_o time_n of_o need_n while_o we_o live_v which_o the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v so_o to_o the_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o great_a name_n and_o our_o own_o peace_n and_o happiness_n in_o himself_o amen_n some_o further_a consideration_n relate_v to_o this_o part_n of_o my_o experience_n it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o judge_v so_o considerable_a i_o can_v omit_v the_o review_v of_o it_o and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v review_v it_o daily_o so_o as_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n raise_v to_o a_o holy_a admiration_n of_o the_o goodness_n and_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o may_v always_o lie_v as_o a_o strong_a engagement_n upon_o my_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o in_o consideration_n of_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n be_v but_o my_o reasonable_a service_n rom._n 12._o 1._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o these_o deceit_n so_o it_o shall_v be_v my_o prayer_n that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v from_o they_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o error_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o and_o doubtless_o they_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n that_o ever_o satan_n have_v on_o foot_n in_o the_o world_n but_o because_o i_o be_o not_o willing_a to_o pass_v my_o sentence_n without_o ground_n and_o because_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v reprove_v be_v make_v manifest_a by_o the_o light_n and_o that_o which_o do_v make_v manifest_a be_v light_n ephes_n 5._o 13._o i_o desire_v according_a to_o that_o light_n of_o truth_n which_o god_n have_v give_v to_o i_o far_o to_o consider_v not_o only_o in_o general_a that_o those_o kind_n of_o error_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o but_o more_o particular_o how_o they_o be_v so_o first_o i_o conceive_v they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o they_o do_v natural_o tend_v and_o lead_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o evil_a and_o that_o both_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n and_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n first_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n they_o do_v natural_o interrupt_v the_o soul_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o expose_v it_o to_o great_a temptation_n bring_v it_o to_o strait_n and_o extremity_n and_o into_o the_o great_a confusion_n that_o can_v be_v possible_a so_o far_o as_o they_o prevail_v and_o for_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o beside_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o appeal_v to_o any_o experience_a christian_a if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o second_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n they_o lead_v by_o degree_n to_o the_o great_a evil_n both_o in_o a_o spiritual_a and_o 〈…〉_o vil_fw-ge sense_n for_o such_o hearâ—â—_n not_o be_v season_a wiâ—â—_n grace_n they_o run_v from_o onâ—_n notion_n to_o another_o till_o they_o run_v so_o high_a as_o to_o stand_v direct_o in_o opposition_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o gospel_n for_o when_o they_o come_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o at_o a_o loss_n in_o their_o judgement_n and_o meet_v with_o such_o temptation_n which_o those_o error_n natural_o lead_v to_o they_o be_v overcome_v by_o they_o and_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o live_v above_o ordinance_n they_o deny_v the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o by_o degree_n the_o whole_a word_n of_o god_n call_v it_o literal_a and_o carnal_a use_v under_o a_o pretence_n of_o spirituality_n blaspheme_v the_o name_n â—f_n christ_n call_v he_o a_o fleshly_a christ_n and_o so_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 1._o and_o go_v against_o such_o strong_a conviction_n and_o clear_a manifestation_n of_o light_n and_o knowledge_n as_o some_o have_v do_v doubtless_o they_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n express_v in_o heb._n 10._o and_o so_o come_v at_o last_o to_o jeer_v and_o scoff_n at_o all_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n and_o it_o make_v way_n for_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o wickedness_n also_o in_o a_o civil_a sense_n have_v give_v themselves_o up_o to_o work_v all_o uncleanness_n with_o greediness_n esay_n 4._o 19_o and_o so_o break_v all_o bond_n though_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n yet_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n 2_o pet._n 2._o 20._o according_a to_o that_o mat._n 13._o 43_o 44_o 45._o when_o the_o unclean_a spirit_n be_v go_v out_o of_o a_o man_n he_o walk_v through_o dry_a place_n seek_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o than_o he_o return_v and_o take_v seven_o other_o spirit_n more_o wicked_a than_o himself_o and_o they_o enter_v in_o and_o dwell_v there_o and_o the_o last_o state_n of_o that_o man_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n he_o be_v now_o far_o more_o wicked_a than_o ever_o this_o be_v the_o nature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o those_o kind_n of_o notion_n as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n and_o that_o it_o be_v so_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o time_n in_o which_o we_o live_v if_o we_o have_v not_o see_v it_o so_o with_o many_o who_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o evil_a spirit_n seem_v to_o be_v go_v out_o of_o they_o and_o they_o have_v make_v large_a profession_n of_o the_o power_n of_o truth_n in_o their_o heart_n but_o they_o be_v turn_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o with_o the_o sow_n that_o be_v wash_v to_o she_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n glory_v in_o their_o shame_n and_o do_v that_o without_o any_o reluctancy_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v those_o
truth_n another_o reason_n why_o many_o saint_n be_v so_o deceive_v in_o those_o day_n as_o i_o apprehend_v be_v that_o they_o be_v but_o new_o come_v to_o the_o faith_n be_v expose_v to_o great_a temptation_n have_v but_o little_a mean_n of_o strength_n against_o they_o it_o may_v be_v far_o from_o a_o church_n or_o else_o in_o a_o church_n where_o be_v false_a teacher_n as_o in_o those_o day_n there_o be_v very_o many_o by_o reason_n of_o which_o many_o be_v deceive_v whereas_o other_o who_o be_v as_o weak_a if_o not_o weak_a be_v in_o church_n where_o there_o be_v sound_a teacher_n be_v keep_v from_o they_o which_o may_v be_v a_o caution_n as_o to_o particular_a person_n to_o take_v heed_n what_o and_o who_o they_o hear_v so_o to_o church_n who_o they_o permit_v to_o be_v teacher_n and_o not_o to_o suffer_v any_o unsound_a doctrine_n to_o be_v teach_v it_o may_v also_o be_v a_o word_n of_o remembrance_n to_o all_o that_o do_v enjoy_v this_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v sound_a and_o faithful_a teacher_n high_o to_o esteem_v they_o for_o their_o work_n sake_n and_o to_o account_v such_o worthy_a of_o double_a honour_n give_v they_o all_o due_a respect_n and_o encouragement_n that_o they_o may_v do_v their_o work_n with_o joy_n and_o not_o with_o grief_n according_a to_o hebrew_n 13._o 17._o 1_o thessaly_n 5._o 12_o 13._o 1_o timothy_n 5._o 17._o other_o reason_n may_v be_v give_v for_o the_o saint_n mistake_v in_o those_o thing_n but_o i_o shall_v mention_v no_o more_o intend_v only_o my_o own_o experience_n for_o i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o upon_o a_o diligent_a search_n and_o enquiry_n what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o own_o mistake_n i_o find_v they_o to_o be_v no_o other_o but_o these_o very_a thing_n express_v as_o first_o i_o be_v weak_a in_o principle_n as_o indeed_o i_o have_v never_o be_v under_o much_o mean_n to_o be_v otherwise_o second_o i_o be_o conscious_a to_o myself_o of_o some_o extreme_a in_o mind_v truth_n as_o it_o relate_v to_o the_o inward_a man_n though_o true_o i_o know_v not_o that_o i_o do_v slight_v any_o ordinance_n or_o command_n of_o christ_n but_o that_o i_o do_v rather_o high_o esteem_v of_o they_o but_o not_o to_o lessen_v sin_n it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v something_o of_o that_o nature_n though_o i_o know_v it_o not_o three_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_v expose_v to_o great_a temptation_n of_o this_o kind_n have_v little_a mean_n of_o strength_n against_o they_o find_v so_o many_o corrupt_a though_o through_o mercy_n it_o be_v better_a now_o that_o breach_n be_v make_v up_o with_o great_a advantage_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v with_o all_o saint_n to_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o for_o doubtless_o the_o saint_n advantage_n in_o their_o enlarge_a experience_n and_o confirmation_n in_o the_o truth_n be_v so_o great_a by_o these_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v express_v it_o again_o it_o call_v for_o praise_n that_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v turn_v it_o to_o our_o great_a advantage_n so_o he_o have_v wonderful_o disappoint_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o wicked_a man_n who_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v as_o in_o psa_n 35._o 25._o all_o so_o will_v we_o have_v it_o very_o conclude_v that_o though_o they_o can_v not_o suppress_v we_o by_o their_o persecute_v power_n yet_o now_o we_o will_v destroy_v ourselves_o as_o indeed_o we_o may_v have_v so_o do_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n prevent_v and_o we_o may_v say_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_v and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o our_o eye_n and_o whereas_o some_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o thing_n have_v be_v ready_a to_o question_v our_o practice_n whether_o it_o be_v of_o god_n let_v they_o know_v that_o there_o be_v no_o ground_n from_o thence_o to_o question_v it_o see_v it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o what_o have_v be_v in_o those_o church_n in_o the_o apostle_n day_n and_o what_o they_o do_v foretell_v shall_v be_v in_o these_o day_n 1_o corinth_n 15._o 12._o 1_o timothy_n 1._o 19_o 2_o timothy_n 2._o 18._o 2_o peter_n 2._o 12._o act_n 20._o 30._o but_o if_o it_o be_v a_o safe_a ground_n to_o judge_v of_o truth_n by_o what_o have_v appear_v in_o relation_n to_o those_o thing_n than_o there_o be_v more_o ground_n of_o confirmation_n that_o what_o we_o practise_v be_v of_o god_n see_v that_o notwithstanding_o those_o thing_n we_o have_v be_v so_o wonderful_o preserve_v as_o we_o be_v unto_o this_o day_n but_o though_o these_o thing_n may_v be_v something_o as_o to_o the_o ignorant_a yet_o yet_o the_o rule_n by_o which_o we_o judge_v of_o our_o practice_n be_v only_o as_o it_o have_v its_o ground_n and_o rise_v in_o holy_a scripture_n be_v build_v upon_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o apostle_n and_o prophet_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o be_v the_o chief_a corner_n stone_n therefore_o it_o have_v never_o be_v any_o scruple_n at_o all_o to_o i_o for_o though_o some_o have_v deny_v the_o church_n and_o turn_v their_o ear_n from_o hear_v the_o truth_n and_o have_v turn_v to_o fable_n yet_o the_o church_n and_o truth_n be_v the_o same_o as_o god_n be_v the_o same_o now_o as_o for_o the_o ground_n or_o reason_n why_o some_o of_o the_o saint_n themselves_o have_v so_o do_v i_o shall_v say_v nothing_o because_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o intend_v no_o more_o but_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n i_o be_v never_o so_o far_o corrupt_v as_o to_o question_v either_o the_o scripture_n church_n or_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n much_o less_o to_o withdraw_v from_o they_o or_o to_o give_v any_o just_a occasion_n to_o be_v withdraw_v from_o by_o they_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v not_o in_o the_o least_o question_n the_o reality_n of_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o have_v be_v so_o far_o overcome_v and_o be_v through_o mercy_n again_o return_v and_o as_o for_o such_o as_o never_o return_v i_o shall_v leave_v they_o to_o be_v judge_v by_o the_o lord_n who_o only_o be_v the_o judge_n of_o those_o that_o be_v without_o 1_o cor._n 5._o 13._o have_v thus_o far_o consider_v of_o these_o allegorical_a notion_n how_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n in_o that_o they_o be_v more_o deceive_a than_o other_o promise_v the_o great_a good_a but_o lead_v direct_o to_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o have_v give_v some_o reason_n as_o i_o judge_v why_o the_o saint_n in_o these_o day_n have_v be_v so_o general_o deceive_v by_o they_o i_o shall_v further_o proceed_v to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o end_n of_o god_n in_o permit_v it_o so_o to_o be_v first_o i_o conceive_v it_o may_v be_v in_o general_a that_o such_o as_o be_v approve_v may_v be_v make_v manifest_a agreeable_a to_o 1_o cor._n 11._o 9_o which_o according_o have_v be_v many_o by_o those_o thing_n be_v make_v manifest_a to_o be_v approve_v though_o other_o that_o be_v not_o have_v appear_v to_o be_v what_o they_o be_v but_o second_o and_o more_o particular_o i_o believe_v the_o lord_n have_v many_o good_a end_n in_o it_o both_o in_o relation_n to_o himself_o in_o relation_n to_o they_o and_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o of_o his_o people_n it_o may_v be_v some_o that_o be_v yet_o unborn_a first_o in_o relation_n to_o himself_o for_o the_o exaltation_n of_o his_o praise_n that_o when_o they_o shall_v come_v to_o see_v how_o great_a their_o deliverance_n be_v and_o what_o a_o addition_n to_o all_o their_o former_a mercy_n they_o may_v admire_v his_o goodness_n and_o break_v forth_o into_o the_o high_a praise_n of_o his_o name_n and_o that_o all_o the_o day_n of_o their_o life_n when_o this_o mercy_n come_v into_o their_o thought_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n to_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o those_o thing_n i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o the_o great_a mercy_n that_o ever_o i_o receive_v from_o the_o lord_n next_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o the_o gospel_n but_o second_o in_o relation_n to_o they_o so_o deceive_v that_o they_o shall_v have_v enlarge_v experience_n of_o the_o fullness_n of_o god_n and_o of_o their_o own_o nothingness_n and_o of_o the_o sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o truth_n above_o error_n how_o it_o do_v excel_v it_o as_o far_o as_o light_n excel_v darkness_n and_o live_v more_o upon_o god_n and_o less_o upon_o themselves_o in_o faith_n and_o humility_n and_o in_o the_o increase_n of_o all_o grace_n in_o more_o cleverness_n of_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n for_o doubtless_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v his_o people_n good_a by_o every_o thing_n they_o do_v gain_v by_o it_o in_o all_o these_o in_o some_o measure_n
for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o must_v needs_o say_v though_o i_o be_o still_o but_o weak_a yet_o through_o mercy_n my_o gain_n by_o those_o thing_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v without_o it_o though_o i_o desire_v not_o to_o purchase_v any_o more_o at_o that_o rate_n three_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o that_o through_o their_o experience_n they_o may_v be_v the_o more_o able_a to_o forewarn_v other_o who_o may_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a temptation_n for_o certain_o have_v the_o saint_n in_o those_o day_n have_v that_o experience_n of_o satan_n working_n in_o that_o nature_n which_o now_o they_o have_v and_o have_v the_o mouth_n of_o truth_n be_v so_o open_a against_o it_o as_o it_o be_v at_o this_o day_n it_o will_v doubtless_o have_v prevent_v much_o and_o therefore_o by_o the_o way_n i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a aggravation_n of_o sin_n for_o any_o to_o be_v take_v or_o hold_v by_o those_o thing_n when_o there_o be_v so_o much_o mean_n to_o avoid_v they_o as_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n there_o be_v in_o these_o day_n almost_o in_o every_o place_n now_o the_o lord_n have_v these_o and_o other_o such_o like_a end_n in_o permit_v those_o thing_n i_o desire_v that_o myself_o with_o other_o who_o have_v experience_v they_o in_o any_o measure_n may_v be_v careful_a to_o answer_v those_o end_n for_o doubtless_o if_o our_o deliverance_n be_v of_o god_n and_o that_o we_o be_v clear_o bring_v off_o from_o those_o confusion_n we_o shall_v answer_v all_o those_o end_n of_o god_n in_o some_o measure_n in_o the_o next_o place_n as_o to_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o recover_v his_o people_n from_o these_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v little_a because_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v various_a some_o by_o one_o mean_n some_o by_o another_o as_o they_o be_v in_o various_a condition_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o have_v declare_v at_o large_a how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o only_o these_o general_n head_n i_o shall_v again_o remind_v first_o i_o be_v bring_v into_o great_a strait_n and_o much_o confusion_n in_o judgement_n second_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n from_o i_o three_o be_v sensible_a of_o that_o confusion_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n i_o be_v put_v upon_o enquiry_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n what_o may_v be_v the_o reason_n of_o it_o four_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o be_v inform_v and_o to_o examine_v thing_n by_o the_o scripture_n five_o he_o be_v please_v to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o earnestness_n to_o seek_v to_o he_o by_o prayer_n which_o through_o great_a mercy_n be_v large_o answer_v and_o thus_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v it_o will_v appear_v that_o i_o have_v not_o without_o good_a ground_n both_o from_o scripture_n and_o experience_n judge_v those_o thing_n to_o be_v the_o greated_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n and_o the_o most_o dangerous_a and_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o mind_v something_o further_o as_o to_o the_o continuation_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v as_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o so_o their_o time_n be_v short_a for_o according_a to_o my_o most_o serious_a observation_n wherever_o they_o come_v and_o where_o they_o continue_v long_a their_o rise_n reign_n and_o ruin_n be_v all_o accomplish_a in_o a_o few_o year_n for_o in_o a_o short_a time_n general_o person_n have_v be_v so_o confound_v that_o they_o have_v either_o come_v to_o see_v themselves_o delude_v and_o so_o have_v turn_v from_o they_o or_o else_o they_o have_v run_v to_o absolute_a atheism_n and_o so_o end_v there_o i_o shall_v now_o only_o answer_v one_o objection_n as_o to_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o so_o end_v this_o discourse_n some_o have_v say_v that_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o these_o thing_n by_o experience_n because_o according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v declare_v i_o never_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n of_o they_o but_o only_o in_o three_o or_o four_o thing_n and_o those_o i_o can_v never_o full_o come_v up_o to_o neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_v neither_o can_v i_o leave_v these_o outward_a thing_n which_o all_o must_v leave_v before_o they_o can_v see_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o inward_a and_o those_o that_o have_v not_o put_v themselves_o on_o such_o thing_n but_o be_v lead_v to_o they_o by_o the_o father_n have_v and_o do_v see_v that_o glory_n this_o objection_n have_v specious_a word_n but_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n will_v be_v find_v light_a than_o vanity_n with_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n which_o i_o hope_v be_v already_o make_v manifest_a only_o i_o shall_v add_v a_o few_o word_n by_o way_n of_o answer_n first_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o myself_o in_o particular_a i_o confess_v through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v far_o short_a of_o that_o which_o many_o precious_a one_o in_o those_o day_n fall_v into_o yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v it_o be_v so_o much_o as_o do_v clear_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n and_o tendency_n of_o they_o all_o to_o be_v so_o vile_a that_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v any_o thing_n that_o ever_o i_o do_v since_o i_o know_v god_n that_o i_o can_v own_v with_o more_o shame_n to_o myself_o than_o those_o thing_n second_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o other_o i_o have_v see_v and_o know_v that_o sufficient_o to_o satisfy_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o such_o glory_n in_o they_o but_o a_o mere_a delusion_n but_o i_o desire_v to_o judge_v by_o experience_n no_o otherwise_o than_o as_o it_o have_v relation_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n for_o though_o i_o do_v very_o high_o esteem_v of_o christian_a experience_n as_o to_o the_o operation_n and_o effect_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o christianity_n yet_o as_o to_o rule_v i_o value_v one_o word_n of_o scripture_n more_o than_o all_o experience_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o scripture_n will_v not_o own_v they_o which_o be_v the_o rule_n and_o touchstone_n by_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o try_v and_o judge_v all_o thing_n for_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n set_v up_o they_o throw_v down_o and_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n forbid_v they_o set_v up_o for_o instance_n the_o scripture_n exalt_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o action_n office_n and_o ordinance_n they_o set_v up_o something_o else_o in_o opposition_n to_o this_o calling_z it_o fleshly_a carnal_a and_o outward_a thing_n and_o for_o the_o father_n lead_v person_n to_o they_o which_o word_n carry_v indeed_o a_o seem_a show_n of_o excellency_n but_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n for_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n be_v one_o and_o what_o be_v appoint_v by_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n john_n 10._o 3._o &_o 14._o 24._o and_o he_o do_v not_o lead_v from_o his_o own_o appointment_n but_o those_o that_o continue_v in_o they_o he_o will_v love_v and_o he_o will_v send_v his_o spirit_n to_o they_o which_o shall_v abide_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o joh._n 14._o 16._o and_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n will_v come_v to_o they_o and_o make_v their_o abode_n with_o they_o verse_n 23._o i_o have_v already_o write_v that_o which_o may_v more_o full_o answer_v this_o objection_n shall_v say_v no_o more_o but_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v and_o keep_v from_o such_o deceive_n the_o sixth_o note_n of_o experience_n in_o relation_n to_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v i_o have_v and_o do_v daily_o find_v a_o increase_n or_o decrease_v in_o those_o thing_n to_o make_v way_n for_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o thought_n as_o to_o gracious_a qualification_n i_o shall_v first_o consider_v the_o several_a kind_n of_o qualification_n which_o i_o conceive_v may_v be_v three_o 1._o moral_a 2._o legal_a 3._o gospel_n by_o moral_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o moral_a dictate_v mere_o from_o nature_n civility_n breed_v or_o education_n by_o legal_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o legal_a dictate_v mere_o from_o fear_n of_o wrath_n without_o any_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n but_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o tender_a judge_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n sow_v in_o such_o heart_n by_o which_o those_o qualification_n may_v be_v wrought_v though_o as_o yet_o it_o may_v not_o appear_v neither_o to_o themselves_o nor_o other_o that_o they_o have_v receive_v
a_o instrument_n for_o the_o good_a of_o soul_n or_o to_o propagate_v the_o least_o truth_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n yet_o i_o shall_v be_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o better_a judgement_n hope_v through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n it_o may_v be_v useful_a know_v from_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o have_v receive_v much_o from_o the_o lord_n by_o read_v but_o beside_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o own_o unworthiness_n as_o i_o have_v some_o discourage_a thought_n as_o to_o my_o writing_n of_o it_o at_o the_o first_o so_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a as_o to_o my_o give_a way_n to_o the_o publish_n of_o it_o as_o first_o i_o think_v i_o may_v seem_v to_o some_o to_o walk_v in_o a_o untrodden_a path_n i_o have_v never_o see_v any_o thing_n write_v before_o in_o this_o manner_n and_o method_n but_o whatever_o entertainment_n it_o may_v find_v with_o such_o know_v from_o who_o i_o have_v receive_v it_o i_o be_o well_o satisfy_v my_o footstep_n will_v be_v find_v as_o for_o matter_n so_o for_o method_n and_o manner_n among_o the_o footstep_n of_o the_o flock_n of_o christ_n where_o i_o desire_v to_o feed_v beside_o the_o shepherd_n tent_n cant._n 1._o 8_o another_o thought_n which_o do_v discourage_v i_o be_v know_v i_o must_v expect_v to_o encounter_v with_o satan_n in_o relation_n to_o it_o several_a way_n but_o believe_v that_o which_o way_n soever_o he_o appear_v whether_o to_o abase_v or_o exalt_v i_o in_o my_o own_o thought_n the_o lord_n will_v not_o be_v want_v with_o strength_n to_o withstand_v and_o resist_v he_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v with_o advantage_n be_v deliver_v from_o his_o snare_n and_o temptation_n thus_o resolve_v to_o commit_v myself_o and_o it_o to_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o almighty_a desire_v it_o may_v be_v accept_v of_o the_o saint_n as_o the_o widow_n mite_n and_o that_o what_o be_v weak_a may_v be_v cover_v with_o love_n be_v the_o desire_n of_o i_o the_o unworthy_a servant_n of_o christ_n jane_n turner_n the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o the_o writing_n these_o follow_a line_n with_o the_o reason_n and_o ground_n for_o do_v the_o same_o through_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n i_o live_v in_o newcastle_n for_o some_o time_n where_o i_o receive_v many_o precious_a mercy_n from_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o desire_v may_v never_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o be_v under_o a_o bodily_a affliction_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o to_o visit_v i_o with_o his_o love_a kindness_n that_o i_o can_v true_o say_v it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o joy_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o indeed_o i_o never_o enjoy_v so_o much_o sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n for_o so_o long_a a_o time_n together_o as_o i_o do_v at_o that_o time_n for_o for_o the_o space_n of_o seven_o or_o eight_o week_n together_o i_o be_v in_o a_o continual_a converse_n and_o exchange_a love_n with_o god_n as_o it_o be_v lodging_n and_o live_v in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n and_o true_o i_o do_v not_o remember_v that_o in_o all_o that_o time_n i_o have_v one_o considerable_a interruption_n which_o condition_n be_v so_o sweet_a and_o joious_a to_o i_o that_o it_o do_v exceed_o grieve_v i_o to_o think_v that_o ever_o i_o shall_v forget_v the_o particular_n thereof_o find_v from_o sad_a experience_n that_o though_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v the_o substance_n of_o such_o thing_n yet_o i_o be_o prone_a to_o forget_v the_o particular_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o i_o find_v to_o be_v much_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o my_o own_o comfort_n and_o profit_n especial_o in_o time_n of_o trial_n and_o temptation_n upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o i_o think_v it_o may_v be_v a_o good_a way_n to_o write_v they_o down_o and_o call_v to_o mind_n some_o of_o the_o old_a love_a kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o resolve_v to_o write_v down_o some_o of_o they_o for_o i_o do_v believe_v i_o can_v remember_v the_o hundred_o part_n of_o the_o kind_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o so_o as_o to_o write_v they_o all_o but_o though_o i_o can_v remember_v all_o yet_o i_o may_v remember_v some_o and_o those_o i_o judge_v most_o considerable_a i_o resolve_v to_o write_v they_o down_o but_o as_o i_o have_v many_o thought_n of_o encouragement_n to_o do_v it_o so_o i_o have_v some_o thought_n that_o do_v discourage_v i_o as_o first_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v very_o hard_a if_o not_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o remember_v that_o which_o have_v be_v so_o long_o since_o so_o as_o to_o write_v it_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o satisfy_v i_o in_o this_o that_o my_o end_n be_v such_o as_o be_v agreeable_a to_o his_o will_n he_o will_v according_a to_o his_o promise_n in_o my_o endeavour_n bring_v thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n and_o true_o i_o be_v confirm_v in_o believe_v he_o will_v so_o do_v from_o my_o own_o experience_n for_o i_o do_v not_o remember_v that_o ever_o i_o set_v myself_o serious_o to_o meditate_v on_o the_o former_a kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o but_o i_o be_v much_o refresh_v by_o it_o and_o remember_v that_o which_o i_o seem_v to_o have_v forget_v a_o second_o think_v which_o do_v discourage_v i_o be_v fear_v leave_v through_o forgetfulness_n as_o i_o know_v i_o shall_v leave_v out_o something_o which_o be_v so_o i_o may_v possible_o write_v something_o which_o be_v not_o which_o i_o will_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n willing_o do_v this_o i_o discern_v to_o be_v a_o temptation_n for_o fear_n of_o hypocrisy_n but_o god_n be_v please_v to_o satisfy_v i_o in_o it_o with_o this_o resolution_n that_o what_o i_o do_v i_o will_v do_v as_o in_o his_o presence_n and_o that_o if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v clear_a to_o my_o remembrance_n that_o i_o can_v not_o bring_v in_o without_o something_o which_o be_v doubtful_a i_o will_v rather_o leave_v out_o the_o one_o than_o write_v the_o other_o much_o less_o write_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v a_o plain_a addition_n and_o in_o this_o resolution_n i_o set_v upon_o it_o believe_v that_o god_n will_v assist_v and_o help_v i_o desire_v not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o discourage_a thought_n for_o i_o have_v often_o experience_v this_o that_o if_o in_o writing_n speaking_z or_o do_v of_o any_o thing_n whereby_o god_n may_v be_v glorify_v we_o shall_v give_v way_n to_o temptation_n and_o discouragement_n we_o shall_v do_v nothing_o at_o all_o for_o satan_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o we_o that_o way_n but_o with_o grief_n of_o heart_n i_o must_v confess_v that_o the_o great_a discouragement_n that_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o have_v be_v from_o the_o saint_n themselves_o i_o do_v not_o mean_v only_o as_o to_o this_o particular_a but_o as_o to_o other_o spiritual_a duty_n also_o by_o which_o i_o trust_v i_o have_v learn_v in_o some_o measure_n to_o take_v the_o more_o heed_n how_o i_o discorage_v other_o and_o doubtless_o saint_n ought_v to_o take_v great_a heed_n leave_v by_o their_o give_v just_a occasion_n of_o discouragement_n they_o quench_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o they_o 2_o thes_n 5._o 1â—_n quench_v not_o the_o spirit_n which_o that_o we_o may_v not_o do_v we_o ought_v to_o endeavour_v for_o a_o spirit_n of_o discern_v and_o for_o such_o a_o carriage_n by_o which_o we_o may_v best_o draw_v forth_o the_o heart_n of_o other_o in_o spiritual_a thing_n not_o that_o we_o shall_v draw_v or_o put_v person_n upon_o that_o which_o they_o have_v not_o receive_v or_o that_o we_o shall_v encourage_v any_o who_o put_v themselves_o on_o such_o thing_n but_o rather_o reprove_v they_o especial_o those_o who_o so_o act_n in_o a_o public_a way_n such_o as_o the_o apostle_n speak_v of_o who_o will_v be_v preacher_n of_o the_o law_n when_o indeed_o they_o know_v not_o what_o they_o say_v nor_o whereof_o they_o affirm_v 1_o tim._n 1._o 7._o the_o hear_n of_o which_o have_v be_v no_o small_a burden_n to_o my_o spirit_n i_o wish_v from_o my_o soul_n that_o not_o only_o particular_a saint_n may_v be_v faithful_a in_o the_o discharge_n of_o their_o duty_n to_o reprove_v such_o but_o also_o that_o the_o church_n will_v put_v forth_o their_o authority_n for_o the_o call_n of_o they_o in_o and_o that_o such_o brethren_n only_a who_o gift_n be_v approve_v of_o by_o the_o church_n may_v exercise_v their_o gift_n public_o and_o no_o other_o that_o the_o saint_n may_v not_o be_v burden_a nor_o the_o world_n blaspheme_v i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o as_o to_o this_o believe_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v instruct_v those_o that_o be_v call_v to_o that_o work_n namely_o to_o judge_v who_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v teacher_n desire_v only_o to_o caution_n saint_n to_o take_v heed_n of_o cast_v stumble_a block_n in_o each_o other_o way_n
for_o doubtless_o though_o its_o one_o of_o the_o last_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o the_o least_o trial_n that_o after_o we_o have_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n overcome_v the_o world_n the_o devil_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n we_o shall_v meet_v with_o let_n and_o discouragement_n from_o one_o another_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o be_v suitable_a to_o a_o imperfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o be_v and_o by_o which_o we_o may_v learn_v as_o to_o live_v more_o single_o on_o god_n so_o also_o to_o press_v after_o and_o long_o for_o that_o perfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o shall_v be_v at_o the_o appearance_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n i_o may_v enlarge_v much_o in_o this_o matter_n but_o i_o intend_v only_o to_o hint_n at_o thing_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o stir_v up_o the_o heart_n of_o some_o more_o able_a to_o enlarge_v upon_o it_o know_v there_o be_v great_a need_n that_o saint_n shall_v be_v exhort_v to_o this_o duty_n namely_o not_o to_o discourage_v but_o to_o encourage_v one_o another_o in_o all_o good_a thing_n &_o i_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v set_v before_o we_o that_o exhortation_n of_o the_o apostle_n gal._n 5._o 26_o let_v we_o not_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n provoke_v one_o another_o envy_v one_o another_o from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o to_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n make_v way_n for_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n and_o so_o to_o provoke_v and_o grieve_v one_o another_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o scripture_n with_o jam._n 4._o 5._o may_v through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o saint_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o questionless_a a_o slight_n of_o the_o gift_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o other_o do_v many_o time_n arise_v off_o a_o desire_n of_o vain_a glory_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n the_o first_o note_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o a_o state_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n before_o conversion_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v civil_o bring_v up_o from_o a_o child_n and_o keep_v from_o such_o gross_a evil_n as_o person_n mere_o civil_a do_v not_o allow_v but_o otherways_o very_o vain_a and_o that_o which_o instrumental_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n as_o i_o conceive_v be_v together_o with_o my_o civil_a education_n a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o a_o fear_n of_o misery_n have_v a_o general_a notion_n that_o sin_n be_v attend_v with_o misery_n for_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o be_v present_o under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n to_o take_v off_o which_o and_o also_o to_o attain_v happiness_n in_o the_o end_n i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n but_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o make_v no_o inquiry_n what_o religion_n be_v but_o take_v it_o for_o grant_v that_o that_o be_v religion_n which_o be_v then_o in_o force_n from_o king_n and_o bishop_n and_o so_o go_v on_o i_o grow_v very_o superstitious_o zealous_a in_o all_o thing_n suitable_a to_o the_o service_n book_n or_o a_o cathedral_n kind_a of_o worship_n and_o i_o think_v the_o more_o i_o abound_v in_o fast_v book_n prayer_n and_o observation_n of_o day_n and_o time_n mourning_n and_o afflict_v myself_o for_o sin_n the_o better_a it_o be_v so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v exceed_v most_o that_o i_o know_v in_o that_o way_n for_o blind_a zeal_n and_o superstitious_a devotion_n yet_o at_o this_o very_a time_n i_o think_v myself_o far_o from_o popery_n and_o do_v always_o oppose_v that_o with_o much_o zeal_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a with_o much_o ignorance_n then_o be_v acquaint_v with_o some_o who_o be_v then_o call_v puritan_n i_o begin_v to_o perceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o difference_n betwixt_o that_o which_o i_o practise_v and_o that_o which_o be_v do_v by_o they_o and_o my_o observation_n of_o their_o carriage_n and_o hear_v they_o speak_v such_o language_n as_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o do_v so_o far_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o own_o condition_n and_o oft_o time_n when_o i_o have_v do_v my_o long_a book_n prayer_n though_o i_o have_v scarce_o ever_o hear_v of_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n yet_o i_o will_v in_o a_o poor_a break_a manner_n complain_v to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n that_o what_o i_o do_v be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o i_o do_v beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n whatever_o i_o do_v undergo_v for_o attain_v of_o it_o but_o then_o sometime_o i_o think_v my_o condition_n good_a enough_o and_o though_o i_o be_v never_o give_v to_o rail_v or_o speak_v evil_a of_o such_o person_n yet_o i_o think_v they_o make_v more_o ado_n than_o they_o need_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o god_n do_v not_o require_v so_o much_o strictness_n as_o they_o seem_v to_o plead_v for_o but_o hear_v they_o speak_v much_o of_o knowledge_n and_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o ignorance_n and_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o read_v the_o scripture_n and_o hear_v sermon_n but_o my_o understanding_n not_o be_v yet_o open_v it_o be_v to_o little_a effect_n for_o i_o remember_v i_o be_v at_o this_o time_n like_o a_o stock_n or_o stone_n as_o to_o the_o true_a understanding_n of_o that_o which_o i_o read_v or_o hear_v that_o i_o can_v true_o say_v as_o the_o prophet_n in_o psal_n 73._o 22._o so_o foolish_a be_v i_o and_o ignorant_a even_o as_o a_o beast_n before_o thou_o and_o yet_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_v something_o in_o affection_n as_o when_o i_o hear_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n against_o sin_n i_o shall_v tremble_v and_o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n or_o the_o love_n and_o sweetness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o heart_n will_v melt_v as_o i_o think_v yet_o i_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o understanding_n and_o judgement_n this_o in_o general_n i_o do_v remember_v as_o to_o that_o state_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o be_v keep_v from_o sin_n by_o a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o fear_v of_o misery_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o in_o the_o day_n of_o ignorance_n before_o we_o have_v receive_v grace_n to_o restrain_v we_o from_o sin_n it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o be_v restrain_v by_o something_o else_o and_o true_o to_o i_o its_o a_o mercy_n so_o considerable_a that_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v second_o concern_v my_o seek_n after_o and_o frame_v to_o myself_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o its_o natural_a for_o person_n to_o make_v after_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n and_o rather_o than_o they_o will_v worship_v nothing_o they_o will_v worship_v samaritan_n like_v they_o know_v not_o what_o john_n 4._o 22._o three_o concern_v my_o oppose_a popery_n when_o myself_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o same_o thing_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n may_v oppose_v a_o error_n and_o yet_o live_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o same_o error_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o though_o in_o a_o low_a degree_n and_o not_o know_v it_o and_o that_o not_o only_a person_n total_o ignorant_a but_o saint_n also_o if_o they_o take_v not_o good_a heed_n for_o i_o have_v experience_v this_o more_o time_n than_o once_o four_o concern_v my_o complaint_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n in_o relation_n to_o truth_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n before_o conversion_n may_v for_o aught_o i_o know_v true_o pray_v and_o that_o from_o a_o secret_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o heart_n and_o therefore_o though_o i_o can_v from_o scripture-rule_a exhort_v such_o to_o pray_v so_o neither_o from_o ence_n can_v i_o forbid_v they_o but_o rather_o rejoice_v to_o see_v the_o heart_n of_o any_o run_v out_o in_o such_o a_o way_n five_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o truth_n though_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o ignorant_a person_n in_o hear_v truth_n may_v have_v their_o reason_n so_o far_o touch_v that_o they_o may_v assent_v to_o it_o and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n and_o because_o it_o be_v not_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n that_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o reason_n why_o ignorant_a person_n be_v so_o uncertain_a and_o so_o unconstant_a in_o their_o thought_n
a_o confusion_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v by_o which_o i_o be_v again_o hinder_v from_o my_o duty_n be_v willing_a to_o try_v that_o doctrine_n i_o not_o have_v hear_v the_o like_o before_o it_o be_v full_a of_o entice_a word_n of_o man_n wisdom_n which_o i_o do_v with_o as_o much_o diligence_n try_v for_o some_o time_n examine_v the_o scripture_n about_o it_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v any_o doctrine_n but_o can_v find_v nothing_o in_o it_o but_o confusion_n a_o mere_a sound_n of_o word_n some_o of_o those_o big_a swell_a word_n of_o vanity_n speak_v of_o judas_n 16._o 2_o pet._n 2._o 18._o so_o through_o mercy_n i_o leave_v it_o and_o escape_v that_o snare_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v to_o the_o praise_n of_o god_n then_o i_o resolve_v to_o prosecute_v my_o former_a purpose_n in_o relation_n to_o those_o duty_n before_o mention_v yet_o still_o linger_a in_o babylon_n till_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o a_o stretched-out_a arm_n and_o clear_a voice_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n those_o word_n in_o the_o 22._o chapter_n of_o the_o act_n verse_n 6._o arise_v and_o be_v baptize_v why_o tarrye_v thou_o and_o as_o i_o remember_v for_o some_o day_n together_o whatever_o i_o be_v do_v those_o word_n be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n than_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v particular_a notice_n of_o it_o apply_v it_o to_o my_o own_o condition_n whether_o i_o be_v able_a to_o give_v a_o reason_n why_o i_o tarry_v the_o lord_n have_v remove_v all_o my_o scruple_n and_o answer_v all_o my_o objection_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v then_o much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v we_o have_v some_o discourse_n about_o it_o and_o the_o result_n be_v that_o the_o next_o first_o day_n we_o will_v go_v to_o the_o church_n where_o we_o have_v often_o hear_v and_o declare_v what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o we_o in_o the_o great_a work_n of_o conversion_n desire_v also_o to_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o his_o command_n which_o according_o we_o do_v and_o give_v they_o full_a satisfaction_n and_o the_o week_n follow_v be_v baptize_v and_o add_v to_o the_o church_n be_v sweet_o satisfy_v and_o comfort_v therein_o and_o as_o for_o my_o former_a scruple_n i_o be_v trouble_v no_o more_o with_o they_o and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o hear_n out_o of_o the_o church_n i_o never_o desire_v it_o since_o but_o god_n be_v please_v and_o still_o be_v to_o satisfy_v i_o with_o the_o fatness_n of_o his_o house_n feed_v i_o with_o green_a pasture_n there_o and_o sit_v under_o the_o shadow_n of_o christ_n his_o fruit_n be_v sweet_a to_o my_o taste_n which_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v find_v so_o do_v as_o he_o have_v command_v until_o his_o second_o come_v some_o brief_a observation_n upon_o this_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v those_o thought_n that_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v to_o be_v save_v yet_o i_o have_v much_o to_o do_v to_o glorify_v god_n etc._n etc._n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v the_o duty_n of_o all_o that_o have_v receive_v the_o grace_n of_o god_n to_o be_v active_a for_o his_o glory_n so_o it_o be_v the_o nature_n of_o grace_n to_o teach_v and_o engage_v saint_n to_o do_v the_o same_o second_o concern_v my_o ignorance_n of_o baptism_n and_o other_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o all_o my_o former_a experience_n in_o point_n of_o faith_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o person_n may_v have_v much_o experience_n in_o point_n of_o privilege_n and_o yet_o be_v ignorant_a of_o their_o duty_n as_o indeed_o we_o be_v more_o apt_a to_o learn_v the_o one_o than_o the_o other_o three_o concern_v my_o ignorance_n of_o that_o which_o be_v so_o plain_o express_v in_o scripture_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o light_n discover_v darkness_n and_o though_o truth_n be_v never_o so_o plain_o express_v yet_o ignorance_n can_v apprehend_v it_o four_o concern_v those_o interruption_n and_o temptation_n that_o keep_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o natural_o we_o be_v so_o averse_a to_o duty_n that_o we_o be_v a_o long_a time_n before_o we_o know_v our_o duty_n and_o when_o we_o know_v they_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v keep_v from_o do_v they_o by_o very_a trifle_n and_o that_o it_o be_v satan_n policy_n if_o he_o can_v keep_v we_o from_o know_v our_o duty_n to_o cast_v stumbling-block_n in_o our_o way_n if_o possible_a to_o keep_v we_o we_o from_o do_v they_o 2._o i_o observe_v that_o though_o christ_n yoke_n be_v easy_a yet_o we_o be_v hardly_o bring_v to_o put_v it_o on_o five_o concern_v the_o first_o hindrance_n that_o i_o think_v it_o some_o bondage_n to_o be_v in_o a_o church_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o through_o ignorance_n of_o the_o nature_n of_o christian_a liberty_n we_o be_v too_o subject_a to_o think_v that_o bondage_n which_o be_v not_o only_a liberty_n but_o a_o great_a privilege_n six_o concern_v the_o second_o hindrance_n which_o be_v the_o unsuitable_a walking_n of_o some_o particular_a person_n then_o in_o the_o church_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o stumble_n at_o the_o fail_n of_o other_o shall_v make_v we_o careful_a lest_o we_o occasion_n other_o to_o stumble_v at_o we_o seven_o concern_v the_o three_o hindrance_n that_o it_o be_v our_o liberty_n whether_o we_o will_v walk_v in_o church_n and_o submit_v to_o ordinance_n or_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o we_o be_v natural_o so_o addict_v to_o liberty_n that_o we_o be_v many_o time_n ready_a to_o cast_v off_o all_o obedience_n and_o to_o look_v on_o the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n as_o indifferent_a thing_n eight_o concern_v the_o four_o hindrance_n fear_v lest_o i_o have_v not_o faith_n enough_o to_o suffer_v for_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o distrustful_a thought_n of_o future_a mercy_n many_o time_n keep_v we_o from_o improve_n present_a mercy_n nineth_o concern_v those_o conviction_n that_o though_o i_o be_v scruple_v about_o truth_n yet_o can_v not_o leave_v it_o so_o but_o endeavour_v after_o full_a satisfaction_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o strong_a conviction_n be_v not_o easy_o put_v out_o and_o where_o grace_n be_v predominant_a there_o will_v be_v a_o endeavour_v not_o to_o smother_v but_o to_o answer_v they_o ten_o concern_v that_o other_o hindrance_n by_o strange_a doctrine_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o as_o faith_n come_v by_o hear_v so_o there_o may_v be_v a_o hear_n that_o tend_v to_o the_o prejudice_n of_o faith_n and_o such_o i_o conclude_v be_v all_o hear_n out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o god_n though_o some_o more_o some_o less_o i_o mean_v public_a hear_n out_o of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o though_o some_o do_v judge_v it_o their_o liberty_n and_o privilege_n so_o to_o do_v i_o must_v needs_o confess_v i_o can_v so_o judge_v for_o though_o possible_o glorious_a thing_n may_v be_v speak_v yet_o what_o privilege_n can_v it_o be_v for_o saint_n to_o hear_v glorious_a thing_n where_o there_o be_v no_o promise_n of_o a_o blessing_n from_o god_n and_o therefore_o i_o may_v say_v as_o the_o apostle_n of_o speak_v in_o a_o unknown_a tongue_n i_o have_v wrather_o hear_v five_o word_n from_o a_o true_a ministry_n or_o in_o a_o church_n of_o christ_n where_o he_o have_v promise_v his_o blessing_n and_o presence_n than_o five_o thousand_o elsewhere_o though_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o personal_a way_n to_o own_o and_o embrace_v all_o or_o any_o appearance_n of_o god_n where_o ever_o i_o find_v it_o and_o can_v upon_o that_o account_n true_o say_v i_o do_v much_o respect_n love_n and_o delight_n in_o some_o who_o be_v not_o yet_o come_v up_o to_o the_o true_a worship_n of_o christ_n in_o his_o church_n but_o i_o must_v be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n i_o can_v see_v how_o we_o that_o be_v according_a to_o the_o gosspel_n join_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o his_o church_n by_o which_o we_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o world_n a_o visible_a profession_n of_o his_o name_n and_o a_o separation_n from_o all_o false_a way_n of_o worship_n which_o in_o our_o principle_n we_o judge_v they_o who_o be_v not_o right_o constitute_v with_o we_o according_a to_o the_o appointment_n and_o practice_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o apostle_n to_o be_v no_o other_o i_o say_v i_o can_v see_v how_o we_o can_v meet_v with_o they_o in_o their_o public_a worship_n to_o hear_v their_o minister_n or_o in_o any_o other_o spiritual_a duty_n but_o it_o be_v a_o cross_v our_o own_o principle_n as_o thus_o they_o own_v themselves_o true_a church_n and_o minister_n of_o christ_n the_o ignorant_a world_n know_v not_o but_o they_o be_v so_o we_o by_o our_o presence_n be_v silent_a do_v say_v
as_o 1_o thes_n 5._o 17._o etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v dissatisfy_v about_o it_o that_o notion_n of_o wait_v carry_v such_o a_o show_n of_o spirituality_n i_o can_v not_o easy_o let_v it_o go_v but_o yet_o this_o trial_n have_v so_o shake_v it_o that_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v it_o and_o also_o those_o other_o notion_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v we_o safe_a to_o land_n through_o which_o mercy_n i_o have_v some_o little_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v able_a to_o speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n in_o deliver_v we_o from_o that_o danger_n but_o through_o that_o dissatisfaction_n which_o still_o remain_v in_o i_o about_o these_o notion_n it_o be_v interrupt_v again_o and_o my_o beloved_a have_v withdraw_v himself_o and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v not_o know_v where_o to_o rest_v nor_o what_o to_o do_v but_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v those_o thing_n from_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o on_o the_o sea_n yet_o i_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o they_o than_o to_o truth_n for_o some_o time_n especial_o to_o that_o of_o prayer_n and_o three_o or_o four_o time_n after_o i_o remember_v in_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n i_o do_v a_o little_a plead_v for_o they_o which_o though_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n so_o to_o do_v i_o do_v not_o then_o know_v it_o but_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o do_v as_o simple_o and_o sincere_o aim_v at_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o any_o thing_n and_o therefore_o though_o satan_n have_v so_o beguile_v i_o yet_o i_o obtain_v mercy_n because_o i_o do_v it_o ignorant_o but_o my_o trouble_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n do_v still_o increase_v insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v scarce_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o burden_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v among_o many_o word_n he_o speak_v some_o be_v to_o this_o purpose_n that_o see_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n it_o be_v best_a to_o speak_v but_o little_a that_o as_o we_o do_v but_o little_a good_a we_o may_v do_v but_o little_a harm_n which_o i_o do_v well_o approve_v of_o and_o after_o that_o i_o speak_v little_a for_o or_o against_o any_o thing_n till_o i_o be_v better_o satisfy_v then_o be_v so_o true_o in_o a_o day_n of_o adversity_n according_a to_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o wise_a man_n in_o eccles_n 7._o 14._o i_o sit_v down_o serious_o to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o be_v in_o so_o sad_a and_o strange_a a_o condition_n through_o which_o consideration_n by_o degree_n i_o come_v to_o see_v and_o conclude_v that_o certain_o there_o be_v something_o amiss_o in_o my_o judgement_n as_o to_o those_o notion_n begin_v clear_o to_o discern_v they_o do_v so_o oppose_v and_o contradict_v my_o former_a receive_a principle_n that_o they_o can_v not_o stand_v together_o but_o if_o one_o be_v true_a the_o other_o be_v false_a and_o that_o i_o must_v leave_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o for_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o new_a i_o can_v never_o full_o quit_v the_o old_a neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n then_o i_o be_v restless_a in_o my_o desire_n for_o three_o or_o four_o day_n to_o know_v which_o of_o the_o two_o be_v truth_n oft_o time_n earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v decide_v the_o controversy_n and_o discover_v to_o i_o which_o be_v according_a to_o his_o mind_n and_o which_o not_o be_v full_o satisfy_v that_o but_o one_o of_o they_o can_v be_v truth_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o particular_a examination_n what_o ground_n i_o have_v in_o scripture_n and_o what_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o both_o &_o in_o read_v and_o examine_v my_o scripture-ground_n i_o begin_v to_o discern_v a_o great_a inclination_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o former_a principle_n find_v i_o think_v the_o scripture_n very_o full_a and_o plain_a for_o they_o but_o nothing_o for_o the_o other_o but_o what_o be_v from_o some_o dark_a mysterious_a interpretation_n which_o be_v very_o doubtful_a and_o for_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o do_v remember_v and_o be_v constrain_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o in_o receive_v and_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o fotmer_n i_o have_v joy_n and_o peace_n and_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o other_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n and_o the_o remembrance_n of_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o upon_o the_o sea_n do_v very_o much_o help_v i_o now_o to_o see_v the_o falsity_n of_o they_o that_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n i_o dare_v not_o stick_v to_o they_o as_o indeed_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o i_o can_v never_o stick_v to_o they_o so_o as_o to_o answer_v they_o full_o in_o my_o practice_n unless_o i_o shall_v have_v lay_v aside_o the_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n &_o have_v be_v very_o profane_a the_o consideration_n of_o which_o with_o some_o other_o evil_a consequence_n which_o i_o see_v clear_o do_v natural_o attend_v those_o thing_n be_v another_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o they_o and_o to_o discover_v satan_n under_o his_o veil_n to_o i_o how_o by_o these_o thing_n he_o do_v intend_v if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v he_o to_o have_v strip_v i_o of_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o that_o of_o be_v save_v by_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o by_o a_o christ_n without_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v quite_o another_o thing_n differ_v from_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o overthrow_v the_o whole_a gospel_n and_o to_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v tremble_v and_o that_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v prevail_v here_o all_o my_o hope_n be_v go_v for_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o as_o a_o ground_n of_o hope_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n concern_v my_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v true_o say_v of_o that_o as_o peter_n do_v john_n 6._o 68_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o the_o gospel_n there_o be_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n there_o be_v all_o my_o rest_n and_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n through_o the_o gospel_n and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o stick_v to_o this_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o then_o second_o as_o to_o that_o of_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n to_o pray_v and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o command_n but_o from_o within_o concern_v both_o these_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o mind_n but_o a_o mere_a invention_n of_o satan_n by_o degree_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o slight_v the_o scripture_n and_o command_n of_o god_n and_o to_o expose_v the_o soul_n to_o satan_n deceive_n to_o walk_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n instead_o of_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o also_o it_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o great_a uncertainty_n which_o the_o truth_n never_o do_v but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n to_o do_v duty_n in_o obedience_n to_o the_o authority_n and_o command_n of_o god_n in_o scripture_n and_o to_o pray_v at_o all_o time_n as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n have_v receive_v a_o principle_n of_o grace_n by_o which_o we_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o see_v this_o be_v a_o clear_a and_o sound_a truth_n not_o be_v attend_v with_o any_o evil_a consequence_n nor_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o strait_n and_o uncertainty_n but_o rather_o give_v enlargement_n in_o every_o condition_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v likewise_o to_o keep_v close_o to_o these_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o but_o oh_o the_o joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o be_v in_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o return_n i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o this_o i_o say_v it_o be_v to_o i_o as_o life_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o as_o i_o be_v blessing_n praise_v and_o magnifi_n the_o lord_n for_o his_o unchangeable_a goodness_n to_o i_o my_o husband_n have_v be_v some_o time_n from_o i_o come_v home_o to_o who_o i_o do_v declare_v my_o