why am I so timorous when charitie Bids me go on shall a Rauen hinder me I le keep aloose and passe oh a spirit a spirit Rob. flashes powder The Widdowes Ghost Bromley Lawyer Vncle hang Take all your fortunes I 'le no further gang It 's an vnhallow'd place a dismall day Betide what will I l'e backe againe some way Exit Rob. Come downe Rauen Thirst. Come out Spirit Rob. Blind credulous foole He that shall trust at need Such nice and tottring cockscombes shall thus speed Should his sicke father send him for some drugges Hee would turne backe at such imagin'd bugges Enter Beniamin Sager VVife Anne Ben. Come mother friend and wife take these back places Where you may heare vnseene that when time serues I may produce you Works and houres are spent Then well when we doe good or ill preuent Wif. I cannot iudge what is this dayes successe All-ruling powers the doubtfull sequele blesse Enter Curfew with other assistants Vaster in a Priests habit Valentine like a Physician the Iaylor with Gripe Bromley Griffin c. Curf. My Lord whose place I personate being sicke Hath thus design'd mee both to heare and censure The criminall causes which offend the peace Of our dread Soueraigne and his subiects weale Whiles we launce Vlcers we the body heale The charge I giue in short you of the Iury Looke to your Oath and conscience let not fauour Shut vp your eyes nor malice open them Too wide You vnderstand our lawes are good T is pitie that they should be writ in blood But since conniuence at vnlawfull deeds Giues but encouragement and wee cannot strike With sword of Iustice the deseruing faults Except you giue the persons to our hands All on your vigilant information stands Proceede to the Inditements Grip. We are all cast away Sir Bare is not come Enter Abbot with guide Ab. Pull downe that counterfeit proud arrogant puffe Could your intrusion not content it selfe T' vsurpe my office but you must abuse The Kings deputed Iudge All Downe with him downe with him Abb. Iaylor receiue him to your custodie Till our iust censure giue him punishment Foxe I shall hunt you out Curf. Do 't with a poxe The goose sometimes must sit and iudge the Fox Abb. Proceed the day hastens Clark Marian Sorrow widow yeeld thy body and saue thy baile Ben. Sir shee is dead her felonie is answer'd Before a higher Court Clarke That is the woman that Gripe is suspected to haue poyson'd Godfrey Gripe stand to the Barre You are indited for the murther of Marian Sorrow widdow guilty or not Grip. Not guilty my Lord let all the world testifie of my honest carriage I haue liued all my dayes in good name and fame Abb. Stand not vpon your credit and good deeds Your haruest would be small if like your seeds If all that know thee stood about this place And had free liberty to speake their thoughts Round ecchoing curses would amaze thy soule And with hells damned crue thy name enroule But when the Widdow Orphane call for plagues On thy blacke life thou hy'st vnto thy bagges There dost applaud and hugge thy wretched selfe As solace 'gainst all woes lay in thy pelfe Thou hast no god but gold that Deitie Thou shouldst adore and would still succour thee Is quite reiected And that Idol money Which beares away thy confidence and heart When thou art plagued aggrauates thy smart Thou art the Deuils Executioner His rankest plague on earth 's an Vsurer Spirits in hell whip soules extorting slaues Torment poore bodies so before their graues Thou art a gulfe poore mens estates to drinke A quagmire none passe ore thee but they sinke Vnlesse Strepsiades-like men could deuise To plucke the Moone by Sorcerie from the skies Thy moneth and gaine will come Like some at sea Yet dangerlesse of shipwracke more then they Thou slumbrest in a base lethargicke swoone Let others toyle thy iournye 's done as soone Ben. Will not this moue him Abb. Nature in all inferiour things hath set A pitch or terme when they no more shall get Increase and off-spring Vnrepayred houses Fall to decay old Cattell cease to breed And sappelesse trees deny more fruite or seed The earth would hart-lesse and infertile be If it should neuer haue a Iubile Only the Vsurers money genders still The longer lustier Age this doth not kill He liues to see his moneys moneys money Euen to a hundred generations reach He whiles his interest money in do's troule Cares not to lose the principall his Soule He like a cleanly Alchymist can soke And draw much siluer yet waste none in smoke Thou lendst like water powr'd on sea-cole fire Or on a lode of Lime a showre of rayne It seemes to coole heate but doth more enflame Ben. His conscience has deafe eares Abb. When all is done And thou hast swel'd thy heapes to say no more Thy coffer 's onely rich and thou art poore This common plague is on all Vsurers showne Th'haue much yet are not masters of their owne One day thy stintlesse mind shall haue enough When the diuided peeces of thy selfe Shall in their seuerall doomed mansions dwell Enough of mould in graue of fire in hell But I spend breath in vaine come let 's proceed Gripe No further You haue made my conscience bleed I heere confesse my selfe guilty of all Euen of this murder too Abbot Let mercie fall on thy distressed soule Now to the rest Clark Nicholas Bromley you are indited for the murther of William Sager c. Guilty or not Brom. Not guilty Who testifies against me Ab. In case of Murder should we neuer iudge By circumstanciall likelihoods and presumptions No life could be secure Enter Nice Nic. Puffe shift for your selues Sir Bare Notwithstanding dares not be seene Brom. O I am lost My Lord I 'm guilty so is Griffin too He did conceale the fact that I did doe We shar'd the Lands together Abbot Powerfull truth Murder will out though by the Actors mouth Gripe O Beniamin I haue vndone My life my state my credite and my Sonne But I 'm resolu'd to dye so Monarchs must Rich men as well as poore must turne to dust Ben. Me thinkes I could preuent all this Gripe Alas thou lov'st me but t is not possible Ben. Sir I haue here a booke already drawne Seale to it freely and I le saue your life You shall confirme me your vndoubted heire And then surrender Vasters morgag'd lands Grip. T is done seales Ben. My Lord and all this bench be witnesse to it Then thus I quit you widdow appeare in Court In earnest see she liues that dy'd in sport Wife Sir thanke your Drugster else I had dy'd by you And you for me receiu'd a murderers due Grip. So I am cousen'd finely finely Val. My Lord I challenge this widdow for cheating me of 300. pounds This is one of her old trickes Abb. How 's this Val. My Lord my selfe and two intrusted friends Came hither to pay money
THE HONEST Lavvyer ACTED BY The QVEENES Maiesties SERVANTS WRITTEN By S. S. leuis esse videtur Fabula quae posci vult spectata reponi LONDON Printed by George Purslowe for Richard Woodroffe and are to be sold at his Shop neere the great North-dore of Paules at the signe of the guilded Key 1616 THE HONEST LAWYER Act. Prim. Enter Vaster weapon'd A Cuckold why now it is a common name As the shee-Gossips are that giue it vs Why doth it not deriue and spread it selfe To all the generations we produce Why should not euery child of mine be call'd Cuckold as well as Vaster Woman woman Thou sad vndoer of the fairest building That euer earth bragg'd to be pauement to Man Man the pride of heauens creation Abstract of Nature that in his small volume Containes the whole worlds Text and heauens impression His Makers Image Angels mate Earths great wonder Made to guide all by woman is brought vnder That harmonie faire Nature made to stand Is forced out of tune by womans hand A woman hath deform'd me See I looke Like any beast has hornes an Asse may boast Himselfe a horne-lesse Gentleman before me Yet let not clouds of passion choke my reason Why what 's a Cuckold let 's see define him It is a man whose wife playes the whore Zilid what 's that to him It is all one as if a proper Gentleman should ride on a halting Iade or a good Musician play on a broken fiddle Oh but t' will be sayd Woman could not be so light a shippe if her husband could well ballast her It is his insufficiencie A poxe it is Had she Hercules to her husband shee would enter the listes with some crinkle-hamm'd tilting Courtier Well then I see no reason that a womans euill Should thus transforme man to a horned deuill No 't was Acteons lusts and not his wife That so bestagg'd him Hence sprouts al my shame Fuller of truth then age this rule hath beene Nothing deformes a man but his owne sinne Enter Robert Vaster Rob. Sir my mother prayes Vast. No more of her Her prayers Are putrid sacrifices like foule ayres Too thicke to mount vp to yon glorious feeling When blacke hands are rear'd vp heauen has no feeling Rob. She is your wife my mother Sir Vast. What then Sir Rob. Nothing but that you wrong her ô my conscience Vast. Oh t is a braue Puritan-world when boyes talke of conscience Conscience must lye at the stake when they play but at blow-point Sirrah as you loue your Conscience hate a wife Zlid if I thought thou wouldst marry I would vnblesse thee as I haue disinherited thee already Get bastards as I would ha' got thee A woman may serue to lye withal none good enough to marry Rob. Oh were you not my father I would let This passion out of your impostum'd heart Why should not I forget that your bloud moues In any veines of mine when you forgoe The reason of a father husband man And sticke degeneration on your name If I sayle ill know your example steer'd My voyage and my vessell Fathers are more Then priuate men their liues are the set copies Their children write by and should there giue Their imitation patternes how to liue Hell 's a sad place they say Oh I le dare neuer To follow my owne father leading thither Exit Rob. Vast. Sirra call your mother This boy 's a Puritan I that had nere lou'd my selfe to be thought good Am highly pleasd to see it in my blood From whom deriues this sprigge such fruitfull iuyce The father being bad the mother worse Sure he did sucke this goodnesse from his Nurse Poore boy my riot has vndone thee poore Thou' rt made by me I by a wife turnd whore My state is morgag'd to the vsurous hand Of Gripe my goods are wasted all my hopes life Breathes thus hauing sold all I le sell my wife Enter Vasters wife and Robin Y' are welcome Loosenesse Rob. Loosenesse Sir Oh hell She is my mother pray you vse her well Vast. Be gone Rob. I cannot Sir Wife Good sonne a way A father giues command Rob. I must obay Exit Rob. Vast. Make much of you I will I will Neuer man made more of his wife when he sold her to her smocke I le sell thy flesh too Gypsey Wife Deare husband I am yet cleare Oh do not you Force me to sinne I le be for ouer true Vast. True true to the brothell to the spittle to the graue Thou art deaths agent a whore is one of his Beadles Wife Heauen pardon your blacke slanders Vast. Come I 'm poore Wife Who made you Vast. Thou my content turn'd whore Wife I le worke or beg for you Vast. No thou hast wrought Too much already Here here 's thy worke points to her Wilt thou doe one thing Wife Any thing Vast. Then sweare And keepe thy oath I le trauell to the warres And turne thee vp as some Captaines wont and trie If thou canst liue by thy old trade or die Wife Will you forsake me then Vast. Yes and am iust Since thou forsook'st me and thine innocence Be thy reward proportion'd I must hence Whiles thou wast good to thee I had free desire Now thou art prou'd a whore receaue thy hire Wife Take place thou tyrant will Thicke woes here houer My state is lower then fate can recouer My obedience waits your pleasure Vast. Hoh within there Enter Mistresse Marre-maide Bawde Aunt Marre-maid I haue brought you the girle I promisd Is the mony ready Marm. By that little honesty I haue to sweare by a handsome wench I must pay fiftie pound for her but if shee were as yong as faire I would get fiue hundred pound by her within this moneth Vast. Aunt pray' vse her well she 's my owne sister Be petulāt you whore sprightly frollick as a Dutch Tanikin or This woman is a Bawd a very Bawd you like her the better for that Come skippe about quicke siluer Dance like a Curtesan or I le fiddle ye You ha' more trickes in priuate then a Fencer can teach a Lord or the diuell a Fencer Life doe you pule I must haue fiftie pound for you Doe y' heare Let your heeles caper and your tongue grow wanton or by these horns I le gore you Aunt shee 's somewhat sicke of that rare disease cald Modesty But in priuate she 's more insatiate then a Puritan Marm. How old are you faire sister Vast. Not sixteene Wife About some sixe and fortie Vast. Oh you Witch Aunt she lies eight and twentie at least Harke ye sister Please this old Hagge make her beleeue y' are right And answerable to her Stygian spels Or I will beare thee to an Armie and there Ha' thy sod flesh sold lent and prostituted And my selfe Cuckolded fortie times a day Leaue this forc'd sobernesse Aunt will you heare her speake Wife I can skippe lighter then the wanton Doe And ierke it through the Dale I cannot hold
on a bond Whiles the receiuer did deferre his comming We gaue this coozening woman being Hostice The whole summe to lay vp and straightly charg'd her Not to deliver 't but to vs all together She sayes one of vs three demanded it Of her in haste and ranne away and thus We lost our money and the bond lies forfeit Ben. Your Lordships leaue T is true she not denies But they so charg'd her and she was so coozend Therefore she yeelds to paiment Let 'hem come All three together they shall haue the money Grif. Vpon my faith a prettie quillet Abb. Wittie and iust How say you heere produce The other two your satisfaction 's ready Ben. The widdow 's cleard but master Valentine Nay man come neerer you 'd haue present pay Val. No Sir let it euen goe Ben. So must not you You gaue 300. pound to her t is true Which like a subtle Quacksaluer you robd My father of Sprites Fairies Val. I am cob'd Grip. It 's true my lord this is one of the Fairies Iustice Iustice Val. Well if there be no remedie I hope I shall not dance alone vpon the rope My lord here 's the other Fairie Abb. O Sir haue I found you Pull off that borrowd habite from his backe O that such foule deeds should be hid in blacke Gripe My Lord this Widow 's accessary too She plotted she receiu'd Iustice iustice Ab. But late thy song was mercy now all iustice Here 's all the goodnes of an Vsurer She sau'd his life he would now hang her Gripe She has robb'd me vndone me Val. It is most true my lord she plotted all Curf. Your villanie Ostice we shall now retort You cheated vs and we will hang you for 't Ben. How doe these mischiefes grow like Hidra's heads faster by cutting off Vast. Prodigious villaines will they thus cast away an innocent woman Yet I most vile of all that thus stand by And for my fault behold my poore wife dye Ben. My lord vpon my soule this woman's cleare And only malice thus accuseth her Ab. Speake woman art thou guilty Wife My lord I begge a word with my Confessor Then I shall answere Sir a word in priuate To Vaster Now Vaster ope thy vnbeleeuing eyes Lo thy deuoted wife for thy sinne dyes Yeeld but this kindnesse to my latest breath Thou hate'st me liuing loue me yet in death Farewell My lord I will not say I 'm guilty Do as your euidence and wisedome leades you Ab. This knot is hard to vndo Vast. My lord I le help you Loe I am that third Fairy that pronounce This woman cleare and those two periur'd knaues We three are guilty let your sentence come I haue deseru'd will not despaire my doome Wife My lord he sayes not true hee 's innocent I guilty Ab. Speake on your soules which of these tongues speak truth Val. Curf. My lord the woman's cleare Ab. Pernicious Villaines hopelesse to be good That thus haue stroue to spill the guiltlesse bloud Widow y' are quitted Sir waite you your doome Vast. With patience Beniamin Gripe I here accuse you for murdering Richard Vaster Ab. How Vast. My lord I found that Vaster dying bury'd him Saw him receiuing death by this mans sword Theft 's a great sin but murder most abhorr'd Ab. Speake is this possible Ben. We met in single combate in the field It seemes his life vnto my sword did yeeld Ann. Ay me my father slaine Rob. And by his friend Fate whither will thy proiects tend Ann. My husbands hand my fathers life vndoes For this fact he must dye thus both I lose Ben. Forgiue me all by me you all haue lost The wife a Husband children a deare Parent Thus I returne you all some recompence Nan thou shalt lose a husband An. Heauens defend Ben. Mother you lose a son brother a friend Wife Can nature so degenerate that a man should liue stand by and see another suffer for murdering him Vast. Once againe off disguise My lord thus I preuent this fear'd disaster My second case pull'd off I am plaine Vaster Rob. My father Wife My deare husband Vast. Most most deare friend My loue to you doth beyond bounds extend My Lord first to this honourable Bench I' here present the Kings most gracious pardon For vs three here heauen no lesse pardon vs Now to my wife see wench I am new borne Rench'd from the plague of a suspected horne Blacke Iaundeys of the minde thou fained spirit That haunts mens quiet thoughts with troubling shades Pernicious Ielousie that like needlesse Physicke Divertest health to voluntary sicknesse I brush thee off like dust See I am now New marry'd to my loue and to my life Neuer could man boast a more constant wife Deare Beniamin now Sonne what I haue left Of all my shipwrack'd fortunes shall be thine Ben. Resume your former state my father yeelds it Vast. Thankes to your honestie not his yet thus Some meanes of satisfaction I haue found I le pay him backe his lost three hundred pound The fairie money which was iust the price Of my redeemed lands Ben. Now master Bromley That vniuersall mercie to our guilt May be affoorded and no blood be spilt Surrender vp your lease for the three liues To Sagers wife and children and I le quit you Brom. I do most freely yeeld it Sag. Sager liues And hartie thankes for your forc'd kindnesse giues Abb. Happy delusions in such waies of ill I wish men may be thus mistaken still Nic. Rauens and Sprites and Fairies and Hares and diuels-Thus haue I lost my wench lost my money lost my watch lost my wits I doe here renounce the faith of all Almanackes Physiogmoners Palmists Fortune-tellers Erra Pater was an Asse and so are Prognosticators his children from generation to generation Grip. I haue drunke powerfull physicke and the Dropsie Of my till now nere quenched auarice Dries vp like dew at the ascending Sunne Vaster take back your lands and for the money Giue it my sonne in portion with your daughter Hencefoorth I le study to requite the wrongs Which I haue done poore men by vsurie And vomit vp th' extortions that doe lie As vndigested crudities on my conscience My future life shall bee in mercie spent I 'm Gripe no more that name I doe repent Abb. All Chronicles be fill'd with this and let it Be as a wonder to all eares imparted England had once an Vsurer conuerted EPILOGVE Ben. THe Session now dissolues each Iustice rises No hurt is done this is the milde Assises We haue scap'd faire thus farre yet there remaines A stronger iudgement to passe on our paines Too much to hope or doubt we must not dare We humbly then stand at your censures barre If the worst comes that may be yet I looke For this grace to be saued by my booke But if with your applause our merit stands Faith then be friends with vs and giue 's your hands FINIS