would say Queene If I might haue my minde bi r lady Ladie Mart. I had a sute vnto the King with this Lord For the great office of high Seneshall Because of our good seruice to the state But he in scorne as he doth euery thing Hath tane it from vs both and gin 't a foole Morg. To a Sicophant a courtly parasite Sicoph. Beare witnes Madam I le goe tell the King That they speake treason Malgo. Passe vpon our swords You old exchecker of all flatterie I tell thee Archigallo shall be deposd And thou disroab'd of all thy dignitie Sicoph. I hope not so Cornw. See heere the Counsels hands Subscrib'd to Archigallos ouerthrow The names of sixteene royall English Peeres Ioynd in a league that is inviolate And nothing wants but Elidurus grant To accept the kingdome when the deede is done Sicoph. Nay then I le take your parts and ioyne with you Mart. We will not haue a Clawbacks hand comixt With such heroick peeres Sicoph. I hope my Lady Is not of their minds My most gratious Queene What I did speake in reprehensiue sort Was more because her Maiestie was present Then any offence of yours and so esteeme it God knowes I loue your highnes and these Lords Lady VVhich of you will perswade my Elidure To take vpon him Englands royaltie Mart. Madam we all haue so importund him Laying vnto his iudgement euery thing That might attract his sences to the crowne But he frost braind will not be obtaind To take vpon him this Realmes gouernment Malg. Hee is the verie soule of lenitie If euer moderation liu'd in any Your Lord with that rich vertue is possest Lady This mildnes in him makes me so despisd By the proude Queene and by her fauourits Enter Elidure Cornw. See maddam where he comes reading a booke Lady My Lord and husband with your leaue this booke Is fitter for an Vniuersitie Then to be lookt on and the Crowne so neere You know these Lords for tyrannie haue sworne To banish Archigallo from the throne And to invest you in the royaltie VVill you not thanke them and with bounteous hands Sprinckle their greatnes with the names of Earles Dukes Marquesses and other higher termes Elid. My deerest loue the essence of my soule And you my honord Lords the sute you make Though it be iust for many wrongs imposd Yet vnto me it seemes an iniurie VVhat is my greatnes by my brothers fall But like a starued body nourished With the destruction of the other lymbes Innumerable are the griefes that waite On horded treasures then much more on Crownes The middle path the golden meane for me Leaue me obedience take you Maiestie Lady Why this is worser to my lofty minde Then the late checks giuen by the angry Queene Corn. If you refuse it knowe we are determined To lay it else where Lady On your younger brother And then no doubt we shall be awde indeed When the ambition of the elders wife Can scarsly giue our patience any bounds England is sicke of pride and tirrany And in thy goodnes only to be curde Thou art cald foorth amongst a thousand men To minister this soueraigne Antidote To amend thy brothers crueltie with loue And if thou wilt not from oppression free Thy natiue Country thou art vilde as he Elid. I had rather stay his leasure to amend Lady Men heauen gods deuills what power should I invoke To fashion him a new thunder come downe Crowne me with ruine since not with a Crowne Cornw. Long life vnto the Kingly Elidure Trumpets proclaime it whether he will or no Lady For that conceit Lords you haue wonne my hart In his despight let him be straight waies Crownd That I may triumphe whilst the trumpets sound Elid. Carry me to my graue not to a Throne Lady Helpe Lords to seate him nay helpe euery one So should the Maiestie of England sit Whilst we in like state doe associate him Elid. Neuer did any lesse desire to raigne Then I heauen knowes this greatnes is my paine Lady Paine me in this sort great Lords euery day T is sweete to rule Elid. T is sweeter to obay Cornw. Liue King of England long and happily As long and happily your Highnes liue Lady We thanke you Lords now call in the deposd Him and his proud Queene bring vnto our sight That in her wrongs we may haue our delight Enter Archigallo and his Queene bound Archi. Betrayd tane prisoner and by those that owe To me their duty and allegiance My brother the vsurper of the Crowne Oh this is monstrous most insufferable Elid. Good brother grieue not t is against my will That I am made a King pray take my place I had rather be your subiect then your Lord Lady So had not I sit still my gracious Lord Whilst I looke through this Tyrant with a frowne Minion reach vp my gloue Queene Thinkst thou because Thy husband can dissemble piety And therein hath deposd my royall Lord That I am lesser in estate then Queene No thine owne answere lately giuen to me I thus reuet stoope thou proud Queene for me Sicoph. Nay then as I did lately to her Highnes I must admonish you diected Lady You doe forget your selfe and where you are Duty is debt and it is fit since now You are a subiect to beare humble thoughts Follow my counsell Lady and submit Her Maiestie no doubt will pardon it Queene There 's for your paines Sicoph. Which way so ere I goe I haue it heere whether it ebbe or flowe Lady That pride of thine shall be thy ouerthrowe And thus I sentence them Elid. Leaue that to me Lady No you are too mild iudgment belongs to me Thou Archigallo for thy tirranie For euer be excluded from all rule And from thy life Elid. Not from his life I pray Lady He vnto whom the greatest wrongs are done Dispatch him quickly Morg. That will I Maglo. Or I Elid. And therein Lords effect my tragedie Lady Why strike you not oh t is a dangerous thing To haue a liuing subiect of a King Much treason may be wrought when in his death Our safty is secur'd Elid. Banish him rather oh sweete spare his life He is my brother Archi. Crownd and pray thy wife Elid. Oh brother if you roughly speake I knowe There is no hope but your sure ouerthrowe Pray be not angry with me for my loue To banishment since it must needes be so His life I giue him whosoere saies no Lady What and his Ladies to Elid. I hers and all Lady But I le not haue you banisht with the King No Minion no since you must liue be assur'd I le make thee meanest of my waiting Maides Queene I scorne thy pride Archi. Farewell deceiuing state Pride making Crowne my deerest wife farewell I have beene a Tyrant and I le be so still Exit Elid. Alas my brother Lady Dry vp childish teares And to these Lords that haue inuested you Giue gracious lookes and honorable deedes Elid.
Giue them my Crowne oh giue them all I haue Thy Throne I reckon but a glorious graue Lady Then from my selfe these dignities receiue The Iland wrested from you I restore See it be giuen them backe Lord Sicophant The office of hie Seneschall bereft you My Lord of Cornwell to your grace we giue You Martianus be our Treasurer And if we find you faithfull be assur'd You shall not want preferment at our hands Meane time this office we impose on you Be Tutor to this Lady and her pride With your learnd principles whereof you are full Turne to humility or vex her soule Queene Torment on torment tutord by a foole Sicoph. Madam it is her Highnes will be pleas'd Lady Young Peridurus and Vigenius Lords Release from prison and because your King Is mightely affected vnto Yorke Thether dismisse the Court incontinent Sicoph. Shall it be so my Liedge Lady Are not we King His silence saies it and what we ordaine Who dares make question of this day for euer Thorough our raigne beheld a festiuall And tryumphe Lords that England is set free From a vild tyrant and his crueltie Elid. On to our funerall t is no matter where I sinne I knowe in suffering pride so neere Exeunt Enter Nobody and the Clowne Nobody Ahem boy Nobody is sound yet for all his troubles Clow. And so is Nobodies man for all his whipping but Maister we are nowe in the Citty wald about from slaunder there cannot a lie come in but it must runne thorough bricke or get the goodwill of the warders whose browne bills looke blew vppon all passengers Nobody O this Citty if Nobody liue to be as old againe be it spoken in secret I le haue fenst about with a wall of brasse Clowne Of Nobodies making that will be rare Nobody I le bring the Tems through the middle of it empty Moore-ditch at my owne charge and build vp Paules-steple without a collection I see not what becomes of these collections Clowne Why Nobody receaues them Nobody I knaue Clowne You knaue or as the world goes Somebody receiues all and Nobody is blamd for it Nobody But is it rumord so thorough out the Citty Clowne Doe not you knowe that there 's not an orphants portion lost out of the Chamber but Nobody has got it no Corne transported without warrant but Nobody has donne it no goods stolne but by Nobody no extortion without Nobody and but that truth will come to light fewe wenches got with child but with Nobody Nobody Nay that 's by Somebody Clowne I thinke Somebody had a hand in 't but Nobody sometimes paies for the nursing of it Nobody Indeede I haue taken into my charge many a poore infant left to the almes of the wide world I haue helpt many a vertuous maide to a good husband nere desird her maiden-head redeemed many Gentlemens lands that haue thankt Nobody for it built Pest-houses and other places of retirement in the sicknes time for the good of the Cittie and yet Nobody cannot get a good word for his labor Clowne T is a mad world Maister Nobody Yet this mad world shall not make me mad I am All spirit Nobody let them grieue That scrape for wealth I will the poore relieue Where are the Maisters of the seuerall prisons Within and neere adioyning to the Citty That I may spred my charity abroad Clowne Heere they be Sir Enter three or foure Nobody Welcome Gentlemen You are they that make poore men housholders Against their wills and yet doe them no wrong You haue the actions and the cases of your sides Whilst your Tenants in comon want money to fill them How many Gentlemen of lesse reuenewes then Nobody Lie in your Knights ward for want of maintenance 1 I am Sir a Keeper of the Counter and there are in our wards aboue a hundred poore prisoners that are like nere to come foorth without satisfaction Nobody But Nobody will be their benefactor What in yours 2 As many as in the other prison Nobody There 's to release them What in yours 3 Double the number and in the Gayle Nobody Talke not of the Gayle t is full of limetwigs lifts and pickpockets 1 Is it your pleasure Sir to free them all Nobody All that he in for debt 2 Ten thousand pound and ten to that will not doe it Nobody Nobody Sir will giue a hundred thousand Ten hundred thousand Nobody will not haue a prisoner Because they all shall pray for Nobody Clowne T is great pitty my Maister has Nobody and so kind a hart A noise within Follow follow follow Nobody What outcries that Enter Somebody with two or three Somebody That is the gallant apprehend him straight T is he that sowes sedition in the Land Vnder the couler of being charitable When search is made for such in euery Inne Though I haue seene them housd the Chamberlaine For gold will answere there is Nobody He for all bankrouts is a common bail And when the execution should be serud Vpon the sureties they find Nobody In priuate houses who so apt to lie As those that haue beene taught by Nobody Seruants forgetfull of their Maisters friends Being askt how many were to speake with him Whilst he was absent they say Nobody Nobody breakes more glasses in a house Then all his wealth hath power to satisfie If you will free this Citty then from shame Sease Nobody and let him beare the blame Const. Lay hold vpon him Nobody What on Nobody giue me my sword my morglay My friends you that doe know how innocent I am Draw in my quarrell succor Nobody What Nobody but Nobody remaining Clowne Yes Maister I Nobodies man Nobody Stand to me nobly then and feare them not Thy Maister Nobody can take no wounds Nobody is no coward Nobody Dares fight withall the world Somb. Vpon them then A fight betwixt Somebody and Nobody Nobody escapes What has he scapt vs Const. He is gone my Lord Somb. It shall be thus now you haue seene his shape Let him be straight imprinted to the life His picture shall be set on euery stall And proclamation made that he that takes him Shall haue a hundred pounds of Sombody Country and Citty I shall thus set free And haue more roome to worke my villanie Exeunt Nobody What are they gonne then Citty now adew Since I haue taken such great iniury For my good life within thy gouernment No more will Nobody be charitable No mote will Nobody relieue the poore Honor your Lord and Maister Somebody For Somebody is he that wrongs you all I le to the Court the changing of the ayre May peraduenture change my iniuries And if I speede no better being there Yet say that Nobody liu'd euery where Exit Enter Archigallo Archi. I was a King but now I am slaue How happie were I in this base estate If I had neuer tasted royaltie But the remembrance that I was a King Vnseasons the Content of pouertie I heare the hunters
musicke heere I le lie To keepe me out of sight till they passe by Enter Morgan and Malgo. Morgan The stag is hearded come my Lord Shall we to horse and single him againe Malgo. Content the King will chase the day is spent And we haue kild no game to horse away Exeunt Enter Elidure Elid. Hearded goe single him or couple straight He will not fall to day what fellowes this Archi. I am a man Elid. A banisht man I thinke My brother Archigallo i st not so Archi. T is so I am thy brother Elidure All that thou hast is mine the Crowne is mine Thy royaltie is mine these hunting pleasures Thou doost vsurpe ambitious Elidure I was a King Elidu. And I may be a wretch poore Archigallo The sight of thee that wert my Soueraigne In this estate drawes riuers from mine eyes VVill you be king againe if they agree I le redeliuer all my royaltie Saue what a second brother and a subiect Keepes in an humble bosome for I sweare The Crowne is yours that Elidure doth weare Arch. Then giue it me vse not the common sleights To pittie one and keepe away his right Seest thou these ragges doe they become my person O Elidure take pittie on my state Let me not still liue thus infortunate Elidu. Alas if pittie could procure your good Insteed of water I de weepe teares of blood To expresse both loue and pittie say deere brother I should vncrowne my selfe the angry Peeres VVill neuer let me reach the imperiall wreathe To Archigalloes head There 's ancient Cornwell Stout Martianus Morgan and bold Malgo From whom you tooke the pleasant Southerne I le VVill neuer kneele to you what should I say Your tirannie was cause of your decay Arch. What shall I die then welcome be that fate Rather then still liue in this wretched state Enter Cornwell Martianus Morgan and Malgo. Corn. Yonder 's the King my soueraigne you haue lost The fall of a braue stagge he 's dead my liedge VVhat fellowes this Elidu. Knowest him not Cornwell Corn. No my liedge not I Arch. I am thy King Elid. T is Archigallo man Corn. Thou art no king of mine thou art a traytor Thy life is forfeit by thy stay in Brittaine VVert thou not banisht Elidu. Noble Cornwell speake More gently or my piteous hart will breake Lord Martianus Morgan and the rest I am a wearie of my gouernment And willinglie resigne it to my brother Mart. Your brother was a tyrant and my knee Shall neuer bow to wrong and tirannie Elid. Yet looke vpon his misery his teares Argue repentance thinke not honourd Lords The feare of dangers waiting on my Crowne Makes me so willing to resigne the same For I am lou'd I know but iustice bids I make a resignation t is his right My calls but vsurpation Corn. Elidure If you are wearie of your gouernment We le set the Crowne vpon a strangers head Rather then Archigallo Harke ye Lords Shall we make him our King we did depose So might our heads be chopt of I le loose mine Ere my poore Country shall endure such wrongs As that iniurious tyrant plagues her with Mor. Keepe still your Crowne my Liedge happy is Brittaine Vnder the gouernment of Elidure Arch. Let it be so Death is the happy period of all woe The wretch that 's torne vpon the torturing wrack Feeles not more devilish torment then my hart When I but call to minde my tirannie I record heauen my Lords my brothers fight The pittie that he takes of my distresse Your loue and true allegiance vnto him Hath wrought in me a reconciled spirit I doe confesse my sinne and freely say I did deserue to be deposd Elidu. Alas good Prince my honorable Lords Be not flint-harted pitty Archigallo I know his penitentiall words proceede From a remorcefull spirit I le ingage My life vpon his righteous gouernment Good Cornwell gentle Martianus speake Shall Archigallo be your king againe Arch. By heauen I not desire it Elidu. See my Lords Hee 's not ambitious as thou lou'st me Cornwell As thou didst loue our Father let his sonne Be righted giue him backe the gouernment You tooke from him Corn. VVhat should I say faith I shall fall a weeping Therefore speake you Elid. Lord Martianus speake Mart. What say these Lords that haue been wrongd by him Elidu. Morgan and Malgo all I haue in Brittaine Shall be ingag'd to you that Archigallo Will neuer more oppresse you nor impose Wrong on the meanest subiect in the Land Morg. Then wee le embrace his gouernment Elidu. Saies Malgo so Malg. I doe my Lord Elidu. What saies Martianus Mart. Faith as my Lord of Cornwell Corn. I say that I am sorry he was bad And now am glad hee 's chang'd his wickednes We punisht and his goodnes there 's great reason Should be rewarded therefore Lords set on To Yorke then to his Coronation Elidu. Then happie Elidurus happie day That takes from me a kingdomes cares away Arch. And happie Archigallo that haue rangd From sin to sin and now at last am changd My Lords and friends the wrongs that you haue seene In me my future vertues shall redeeme Come gentle brother pittie that should rest In women most is harbor'd in thy brest Exeunt Enter Queene Lady Elidure and Flatterer Lady Come haue you done your taske now doe you see What t is to be so proude of Maiestie We must take vp your gloue and not be thought Worthy the name of Sister thus you minx I le teach you ply your worke and thanke me to This paines will be your owne another day Queene Insulting ouer-proude ambitious woman Queene I disdaine to call thee thou doost wrong Thy brothers wife indeede thy Kings espousd And manger all thy tyrannie I sweare Rather then still liue thus I le perrish heere Sicoph. You are not wise deiected as you are To bandie braues against her Maiestie You must consider you are now her subiect Your tongue is bounded by the awe of dutie Fie fie I needes must chide you since I see You are so sawcie with her soueraigntie Queene Time was base spaniell thou didst fawne as much On me as now thou striuest to flatter her O God that one borne noble should be so base His generous blood to scandall all his race Lady My Lord if she continue these proude termes I giue you libertie to punish her I le not maintaine my prisoner and my slaue To raile gainst any one that honours me Enter Morgan and Malgo. Morg. Health to the Queene and happines to her That must change states with you and once more raigne Queene of this Land Queene Speake that againe ô I will blesse my fate If once more I supply my former state Malgo. Long may your highnes liue your banisht Lord Is by his brother Elidurus seated Once more in Britaines throne Lady O I could teare my haire base Elidure To wrong himselfe and make a slaue of me Queene Now minion I le cry quittance with
the whole land we haue deposd this day speake shall we haue your loues corn My lords and Kings T is bootlesse to contend gainst heauen and you Since without our consent the kings desposd And we vnable to support his fall Rather then the whole land should shrinke You shall haue my assystance in the state Mar. Cornwell and I will beare the selfe same state Perid. We now are Kings indeede and Brittaine sway When Cornwell and his brother Viue say Vig. Receiue our grace keepe still your offyces Imbrace these peeres that raisd vs to the throne Brittaine reioice and Crowne this happy yeare Two sonnes at once thine in thy royall sphere Corn. And that 's prodigious I but waite the time To see their sodaine fall that swiftly clime Mar. My Lord much honor might you win your land To giue release vnto your sister Queene Being a Lady in the land beloud Vig. You haue aduisd vs well it shall be so Corn. Shold you set free the Princesse might not she Make vprors in the land and raise the Commons In the releasment of the Captiue King Perid. Well counseld Cornwell she shall liue in bondage Mar. Renowne your selfe by being kind to her Corn. Secure your state by her imprisonment Vig. Wee le haue the Queene set free Perid. Wee le haue her guarded With stricter keeping and seuerer charge Mar. Will you be braued by one that 's but your equall Hauing no more then party gouernment Corn. Or you be scornd by one to you inferior In generall estimation of the land vig. Set free the Princesse say the king commaunds Perid. Keepe her in thraldome still and captiue bands vig. Wee le not be contermaunded perid. Sir nor we vig. Before I le be halfe a king and contrould In any regality I le hazard all I le be compleat or none Perid. Before I le stand Thus for a Cipher with my halfe command I le venture all my fortunes how now pride Percht on my vpperhand Corn. By heauen well spyed vig. T is ours by right and right we will inioy perid. Claimst thou preheminence com down proud boy vig. Then le ts try maistries and one conquer all We climd at once and we at once will fall They wrastle and are parted peri. They that loue Peridure deuide themselues vppon their part Corn. That am I Mor. and I vig. They that loue vs on this side Mar. I Mal. And I vig. Then to the field to set our sister free perid. By all my hopes with her I le captiue thee vig. Trumpets and Drums triumphant musick sing perid. this day a captiue or a compleat king Exeunt Alarum Enter Some-body and Sicophant Somb. Sir you haue sworne to manage these affaires Euen with your best of iudgement Enter Clowne Sicoph. I haue prouided you will let me share Of the Grand-benefit you get by dice Deceitfull Cards and other cozening games you bring into the Court C. O rare now shall I find out crab som notable knauery Somb. You shall haue equall share with Somebody Prouided you will help to apprehend that Nobody On whom the guilt shall lye Of all those cheting tricks I haue deuisd C. O the fates treason against my m person but I beleeue Somb wil pay for t I le tickle your long wast for this ifaith Sico. Giue me some bales of dice What are these som. Those are called high Fulloms Clo. I le Fullom you for this som. Those low Fulloms C. They may chance bring you as hie as the Gallowes som. Those Demi-bars clow. Great reason you shovld come to the barre before the gallows som. Those bar Sizeaces Clo. A couple of Asses indeed som. Those Brisle dice clo. T is like they brisle for I am sure thei le breed anger sicop. Now sir as you haue compast all the Dice So I for cards These for the game at maw All saving one are Cut next vnder that Lay me the Ace of Harts then cut the Cards O your fellow must needs haue it in his first tricke clow. I le teach you a trick for this yfaith sicop. these for Premero cut vpon the sides As the other on the ends clow. Marke the end of all this sicop. these are for post and paire these for saunt these for new cut clown thei le make you cut a fether one day sico. Well these disperst and No-body Attacht for all these crimes shal be hangd clow. I or els you shall hange for him sico. Come shal s about our busines som. Content le ts straight about it Exeunt clow. O my hart that it was my fortune to heare all thys but beware a lucky man whilst you liue Alasse if I had not rescued my maister the swaggering fellowe woulde haue made No-body of him Againe if I had not ouerheard this treason to his person these Cunnicatching knaues woulde haue made lesse then Nobody of him For indeed they wold haue hangd him but heere 's my maister O sweet maister how cheere you Enter No-body Nobo. O excellent admirable and beyond comparison I thinke my shape inchants them clo. I think not so for if I wer a Lady I should neuer abide you but Maister I can tell you rare newes you must be apprehended for a Cheater a Cozener a Libiller and I know not what Nobo. Not I I am an innocent no Cheater no Cozener but a simple honest man hunted from place to place by some-body clo. t is true sir it is one som that would attach you therfore Looke to your selfe but Mai if you be tooke neuer feare I heard all their knauery and I can cleare you I warrant Enter Some-body and officers Som. O haue I found you this is he my frends We haue long sought you know when t was inquird Who brought the false Dice and the cheating cards Into the court t was answered No-body Clo. No. qd tha I am affraid you le proue the knaue som som. Lay hold vpon him beare him to the prison No. To prison say you well if I be guilty this fellow is my partner take him to som. Are you confederate in this treason sirra clo. If I be not sir some-body is but if I be guilty I must beare If off with head and shoulders som. To prison with them now the bird is caught For whom so long through Britane haue I sought Clow. I beleeue I haue a bird in a box shal catcht you for all this Someb. Away with them I say Exeunt Enter seuerally Peridure Vigenius Cornewell Martianus Morgan Malgo with drum and Coulors Vig. In Armes well met ambitious Peridure Perid. Vigenius thou salutes me with a title Most proper to thy selfe Vig. Art thou not proud Perid. Onely to meet thee on this bed of death Wherein the Title to the English Crowne Shall perish with thy selfe Vig. Faire is the end Of such as die in honourable warre Oh far more faire then on a bed of downe Mar. Warre is the souldiors haruest it cuts downe Perid. The liues of such as
NO-BODY AND SOME-BODY With the true Chronicle Historie of Elydure who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England The true Coppy thereof as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants Printed for Iohn Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican at the signe of No-body The Prologue A subiect of no subiect we present for No-body is Nothing Who of nothing can something make It is a worke beyond the power of wit And yet inuention is ripe A morrall meaning you must then expect grounded on lesser then a shadowes shadow Promising nothing wher there wants a toong And deeds as few be done by No-bodie Yet something out of nothing we will shew To gaine your loues to whome our selues we owe NO-BODY AND SOME-BODY Enter Cornwell and Martianus Corn. MY Lord Martianus Mar. My Lord of Cornwell Corn. Morrow Mar. Morrow Corn. You are sad my Lord Mar. You melancholy Corne. So The state it selfe mournes in a robe of Wo Mar, For the decease of Archigalloes vertues I vnderstand you Noble minded Cornwell What generous spirit drawes this Brittish ayre But droops at Archigalloes gouernement corn And reason Martianus when the Sunne Struggles to be deliuered from the wombe Of an obscure Eclipse doth not the earth Mourne to behold his shine envelloped O Corbonon when I did close thine eyes I gaue release to Britaines miseries Enter Elydure Mar. Good morrow to Prince Elydure Elid. The same to you and you you are sad my Lordes your harts I thinke are frosty for your blood Seemes crvsted in your faces like the dew In a September morne how fares the king Haue you yet bid good morrow to his highnes Corn. The kings not stirring yet Enter Vïgenius and Peridure Perid Yonder 's old Cornwell come Vïgenius Wee le haue some sport with him Vig. Brother content Perid. Good morrow to you brother Elydure Cornwel God morrow to Cornwell Vig. Morrow old gray-beard Corn. My beards not so gray as your wits greene Vig. And why so Perid. We shall ha you come out now with some reason that was borne in my great grand sires time Corn. Would you would proue as honest princes as your great graundsire was or halfe so wise as your elder brother was there 's a Couple of you Sfoote I am ashamed you should be of the blood royall Perid. And why father vvinter Corn. You doe not knovv your state there 's Elydure Your elder brother next vnto the King He plies his booke vvhen shall you see him trace Lasciuious Archigallo through the streets And fight with common hacksters hand to hand To wrest from them their goods and dignityes Perid. You are to saucy Cornwell Vig. Bridle your spirit Elyd. Your words are dangerous good honest subiect Old reuerent states-man faithful seruitor Doe not traduce the King hee s vertuous Or say he tread somewhat besides the line Of vertuous gouernment his regality Brookes not taxation kings greatest royalties Are that their subiects must aplaud their deedes As well as beare them their prerogatiues Are murall interponents twixt the world And their proceedings Corn. Well well I haue serued foure kings And none of all those foure but would haue ventured Their safeties on old Cornwels constancy But that 's all one now I am cald a dotard Go to though now my limbes be starke and stiffe When Cornwels dead Brittayne I know will want So strong a prop Alasse I needs must weepe And shed teares in abundance when I thinke How Archigallo wrongs his gouernment Vig. Nay now you le fall into your techy humor Enter Lord Sicophant Sicoph. My Lords Princes I should haue said and after Lords I am the Vsher and Harbinger vnto the kings most Excellent person and his Maiesty Vig. Is fourth comming Sicoph. Or comming fourth hard by or at hand will you Put your gestures of attendaunce on to giue his Maiestie the Bon-ioure Enter Archigallo and two Lords Morgan Malgo. All Good morrow to our soueraigne Archigallo Arch. Morrow Corn. Why do you frowne vpon your seruants king We loue you and you ought to fauor vs Will you to Counsel Heere 's petitions Complaints and controuersies twixt your subiects Appealing all to you Arch. Le ts see those papers A controuersie betwixt the Lord Morgan and the Lord Malgo concerning their Tytles to the Southerne Island We know this cause and what their titles be You claime it by inheritance Morg. My liege I do Arch. You by the marriage of Lord Morgans mother To whom it was left ioynture Malgo. True gratious Soueraigne Arch. Whose euidence is strongest to which part Inclines the censures of our learned Iudges Morgan We come not heer to plead before your grace But humblie to intreat your Maiestie Peruse our euidence and censure it According to your wisedome Arch. What I determine then you le yeeld vnto Both We will my Soueraigne Arch. Then that Southerne I le we take to our protection and make you Lord gouernor thereof Sicoph. I humblie thanke your highnesse Mal. I hope your Maiesty Arch. Replie not I but take it to my selfe Because I would not haue dissention betwixt two peeres I loue to see you friends And now the Islands mine your quarrell ends What 's next A poore Nothern mans humble petition Which is the plaintiue Enter clowne Wench and Rafe Rafe I if it please your Maiestie I was betrothed to this maid Arch. Is this true my Wench Wench T is verie true and like your maiestie but this tempting fellow after that most felloniously stole my hart awaie fro me caried it into the church and I running after him to get my hart againe was there married to this other man clown T is verie true and like your maiesty though Raphe were once looke for a propper man yet when I came in place it appeared otherwise if your highnesse note his leg and mine there is ods and for a foot I dare compare I haue a wast to and though I say it that shoulde not saye it there are faces in place of Gods making Arch. Thou art a proper fellow and this wench is thine by lawfull marriage clown Rafe you haue your answer you may be gon your onely way to saue charges is to buy a halpenniwoorth of Hob-nailes for your shooes Alasse you might haue looked into this before go silly Rafe go away vanish Arch. Is not this Lasse a pretty Neat browne Wrench Sicoph. She is my liege and mettell I dare warrant Arch. Fellow how long hast thou been married Clown I was as they say coupled the same day that my country man Raphe begunne the law for to tell your Maiestie the truth we are yet both virgins it did neuer freese betwixt vs two in a bed I assure your grace Arch. Didst neuer lie with thy wife Clown Neuer yet but nowe your Maiestie hath ended the matter I le be so bold as take possession Arch. Harke my wench wilt leaue these rusticke fellowes stay with me Wench What will your
highnes doe with me Arch. Why I le make thee a Lady Wench And shall I goe in fine clothes like a Lady Arch. Thou shalt Wench I le be a Lady then that 's flat sweet heart farewell I must be a Lady so I must Clow. How now how now but heare you Sir Wench Away you Clowne away Clown But will your highnes rob me of my spouse Arch. What we will we will away with those slaues Clown Zounds if euer I take you in Yorkshire for this Sicoph. Away you slaues Corn. My Lord these generall wrongs will draw your highnesse into the common hatred of your subiects Arch. What 's that to thee old doting Lord forbeare What 's heere complaints against one Nobody For ouermuch releeuing of the poore Helping distressed prisoners entertayning Extrauagants and vagabonds what fellowes this Corn. My liedge I know him he 's an honest subiect That hates extortion vsury and such sinnes As are too common in this Land of Brittaine Arch. I le haue none such as he within my kingdome Hee shall be banisht Sicoph. Heare my aduise my liedge I know a fellow That 's opposite to Nobody in all thinges As he affects the poore this other hates them Loues vsurie and extortion Send him straight Into the Country and vpon my life Ere many monthes he will deuise some meanes To make that Nobody bankrout make him flie His Country and be neuer heard of more Arch. VVhat doost thou call his name Sicoph. His name is Sombody my liedge Arch. Seeke out that Sombody we le send him straight VVhat other matters stay to be decided Determine you and you the rest may follow To giue attendance Exeunt all but the Lords Manent Cornwell and Martianus Mart. All 's nought already yet these vnripe ills Haue not their full growth and their next degree Must needes be worse then nought and by what name Doe you call that Cornw. I know none bad enough Base vild notorious vgly monstrous slauish Intollerable abhorred damnable T is worse then bad I le be no longer vassaile To such a tirannous rule nor accessarie To the base sufferance of such out-rages Mart. You le not indure it how can you remedie A mayme so dangerous and incurable Corn. There is a way but walls haue eares and eyes Your eare my Lord and counsell Mart. I haue eares Open to such discourse and counsell apt And to the full recouery of these wounds Made in the sicke state most effectuall A word in priuate Enter Peridure and Vigenius Perid. Come brother I am tyrde with reuelling My last Caranta made me almost breathlesse Doth not the Kings last wench foote it with art Vige. Oh rarely rarely and beyond opinion I like this state where all are Libertines But by ambitions pleasure and large will See see two of our strict liu'd Counsellors In secret conference they cannot indure This freedome Perid. Nor the rule of Archigallo Because t is subiect to his libertie Are they not plotting now for some installement And change of state old gallants if you be T will cost your heads Vige. Bodies and all for me List them such strict reproouers should not liue Their austere censures on their kings to giue Corn. He must be then deposd Perid. Ey are you there that word sounds treason Vig. Nay but farther heare Mart. The King deposd how must it be effected What strengths and powers can sodenly be leuied VVho will assist this busines to reduce The state to better forme and gouernment Vig. Ey mary more of that Corn. All Cornwell 's at my becke Deuonshire our neighbour Is one with vs you in the North commaund The oppressed wrongd deiected and supprest Will flocke on all sides to this innovation The Clergie late despisd the Nobles scornd The Commons trode on and the Law contemnd Will lend a mutuall and combyned power Vnto this happie change Peri. Oh monstrous treason Mart. My Lord we are betraide and ouer-heard By the two princes Corn. How betraide Mart. Our plots discouered Corn. I le helpe it all doe you but sooth me vp We le catch them in the trap they lay for vs Mart. I le do ot Corn. Now sir the king deposd Who shall succeede Mart. Some would say Elidure Corn. Tush he 's too milde to rule But there are two young princes hopefull youths And of rare expectation in the Land Oh would they daigne to beare this weightie charge Betwixt them and support the regall scepter With ioynt assistance all our hopes were full Vig. A Scepter Perid. And a Crowne Mart. What if we made the motion we haue wills To effect it we haue power to compasse it Vig. And if I make refusall heauen refuse me Perid. These Counsellors are wise and see in vs More vertue then we in our selues discerne Would it were come to such election Corn. My honord Lord we le breake it to those princes Those hopefull youths at our conuenient leasure Mart. With all my hart Corn. You that our footsteps watcht Shall in the depth of your owne wiles be catcht Exeunt Vig. A King Perid. And were a crowne a crowne imperiall Vig. And sit in state Perid. Commaund Vig. And be obeyed Perid. Our Nobles kneeling Vig. Seruants homaging and crying Aue Perid. Oh brother shall we through nice folly Despise the profferd bountie of these Lords Vig. Not for the world I long to sit in state To purse the bountie of our gracious fate Perid. To entertaine forreine Embassadors Vig. And haue our names ranckt in the course of kings Perid. Shadow vs State with thy maiesticke wings Enter King Cornwell Martianus and Elidure Vige. Now sir my brother Archigall deposde Corn. Deposd did you heare that my Lord Vig. For his licensious rule and such abuses As we le pretend gainst him in parliament Arch. Oh monstrous brothers Elidu. Oh ambitious youthes Vig. Thus we le deuide the Land all beyond Trent And Humber shall suffise one moitie The south part of the Land shall make the tother Where we will keepe two Courts and raigne deuided Yet as deere louing brothers Arch. As vild traitors Perid. Then Archigall thou that hast sat in pompe And seene me vassaile shalt behold me crownd Whilst thou with humble knees vailst to my state Arch. And when must this be doone when shall my crowne Be parted and deuided into halfes You raigne on this side Humber you beyond The riuer Trent when doe you take your states Sit crownd and scepterd to receiue our homage Our dutie and our humble vassalage Perid. I know not when Arch. Nor you Vige. Nor I Arch. But I know when you shall repent your pride Nor will we vse delayes in our reuenge Ambitious boyes we doome you prisonment Your Pallace royall shall a Iaile be made Your thrones a dungeon and your scepters Irons In which we le bound your proude aspiring thoughts A way with them we will not mount our chayre Till their best hopes be changd to blacke despaire Perid. Heare vs excuse our selues Vige.
Or le ts discouer Who drew vs to this hope of soueraigntie Arch. That shall our further leysures arbitrate Our eares are deafe to all excusiue pleas Come vnambitious brother Elidurus Helpe vs to lauish our abundant treasures In masks sports reuells riots and strange pleasures Exeunt Enter Sombody with two or three seruaunts Somb. But is it true the fame of Nobody For vertue almes-deedes and for charitie Is so renownd and famous in the Country Seru. Oh Lord sir ey hes talkt of farre and neere Fills all the boundlesse country with aplause There liues not in all Britaine one so spoke of For pittie good mind and true charitie Somb. Which Sombody shall alter e rt be long Seru. You may my Lord beeing in grace at Court And the high fauours of King Archigallo Exile this petty fellow from the Land That so obscures the beautie of your deedes Sombod. VVhat doth this Nobody Seru. You shall heare my Lord Come twentie poore men to his gate at once Nobody giues them mony meate and drinke If they be naked clothes then come poore souldiers Sick maymd and shot from any forraine warres Nobody takes them in prouides them harbor Maintaines their ruind fortunes at his charge He giues to orphants and for widdowes buildes Almes-houses Spittles and large Hospitals And when it comes in question who is apt For such good deedes t is answerd Nobody Now Nobodie hath entertaind againe Long banisht Hospitalitie and at his boord A hundred lustie yeomen daily waites Whose long backs bend with weightie chynes of biefe And choise of cheere whose fragments at his gate Suffice the generall poore of the whole shire Nobodies table 's free for trauellers His buttry and his seller ope to all That starue with drought or thirst vpon the way Somb. His fame is great how should we helpe it Seru. My Lord t is past my reach t is you must doe it Or 't must be left vndone Somb. What deedes of note is he els famous for Seru. My Lord I le tell you His Barnes are full and when the Cormorants And welthy Farmers hoord vp all the graine He empties all his Garners to the poore Vnder the stretcht prise that the Market yeelds Nobody racks no rents doth not oppresse His tenants with extortions When the King Knighted the lustie gallants of the Land Nobody then made daintie to be knighted And indeede kept him in his knowne estate Somb. The slaues ambitious and his life I hate Seru. How shall we bring his name in publick scandall Sombo. Thus it shall be vse my direction In Court and country I am Sombody And therefore apt and fit to be employed Goe thou in secrete beeing a subtile knaue And sowe seditious slaunders through the Land Oppresse the poore suppresse the fatherlesse Deny the widdowes foode the staru'd releefe And when the wretches shall complaine their wrongs Beeing cald in question sweare t was Nobody Racke rents raise prises Buy vp the best and choise commodities At the best hand then keepe them till their prises Be lifted to their height and double rate And when the raisers of this dearth are sought Though Sombody doe this protest and sweare T was Nobody fore Iudge and Magistrate Bring scandalls on the rich raise mutinous lyes Vpon the state and rumors in the Court Backbite and sow dissention amongst freends Quarrels mongst neighbors debate mongst strangers Set man and wife at ods kindred at strife And when it comes in question to cleere vs Let euery one protest and sweare for one And so the blame will fall on Nobody About it then if these things well succeede You shall preuaile and we applaude your speede Enter Nobody and the Clowne See where he comes I will withdraw and see The euent and fortunes of our last pollicie Nobod. Come on myne owne seruaunt some newes some newes what report haue I in the country how am I talkt on in the Citty and what fame beare I in the Court Clowne Oh Maister you are halfe hangd Nobod. Hangd why man Clowne Because you haue an ill name a man had as good almost serue no Maister as serue you I was carried afore the Constable but yesterday and they tooke mee vp for a strauagant they askt mee whom I serued I told them Nobody they presently drew mee to the post and there gaue me the law of armes Nobody The law of armes Clow Ey as much lawe as their armes were able to lay on they tickled my Collifodium I rid post for a quarter of an houre with switch though not with spurre Nobod. Sure Sombody was the cause of all Clow. I le be sworne of that Sombody tickled me a heate and that I felt but Maister why doe you goe thus out of fashion you are euen a very hoddy doddy all breech Nobod. And no body But if my breeches had as much cloth in them as euer was drawne betwixt Kendall and Canning street they were scarce great enough to hold all the wrongs that I must pocket Fie fie how I am slaunderd through the world Nobody keepes tall fellowes at his heeles Yet if you meete a crew of rogues and beggars Aske who they serue thei le aunswere Nobody Your Caualiers and swaggerers bout the towne That dominere in Tauerns sweare and stare Vrge them vpon some termes thei le turne their malice To me and say thei le fight with Nobody Or if they fight and Nobody by chaunce Come in to part them I am sure to pay for it And Nobody be hurt when they scape scotfree And not the dastardst coward in the world But dares about with me What shall I doe Somb. Doe what thou wilt before we end this strife I le make thee tenne times weary of thy life Clown But doe you heare Maister when I haue seru'd you a yere or two who shall pay me my wages Nobo. Why Nobody Clowne Indeede if I serue Nobody Nobody must pay me my wages therefore I le euen seeke out Sombody or other to get me a newe seruice but the best is Maister if you runne away you are easie to be found againe Nobod. Why so sir Clowne Mary aske a deafe man whom hee heares hee le straight say Nobody aske the blindest beetle that is whom hee sees and hee le aunswere Nobodie hee that neuer saw in his life can see you though you were as little as a moate and hee that neuer heard can heare you though you treade as softlie as a Mouse therefore I shall be sure neuer to loose you Besides you haue one commoditie Maister which none hath besides you if you should loue the most fickle inconstants wench that is in the world shee le be true to Nobody therefore constant to you Nobod. And thou sayest true in that my honest seruaunt Besides I am in great especiall grace With the King Archigallo that now raignes In tiranny and strange misgouerment Nobody loues him and he loues Nobody But that which most torments my troubled soule My name is made mere
opposite to vertue For he is onely held peacefull and quiet That quarrels brawles and fights with Nobody He 's honest held that lies with Nobodies wife And he that hurts and iniures Nobody All the world saies ey that 's a vertuous man And though a man haue doone a thousand mischiefes And come to proue the forfeit made to law If he can proue he hath wrong'd Nobody No man can touch his life This makes me mad This makes me leaue the place where I was bred And thousand times a day to wish me dead Somb. And I le pursue thee where so ere thou fliest Nor shalt thou rest in England till thou diest Clowne Maister I would wish you to leaue the Country and see what good entertainement you wil haue in the Cittie I do not think but there you will be most kindly respected I haue been there in my youth there 's Hospitalitie you talke of Hospitalitie and they talke of you bomination to see for there Maister come to them as often as you will foure times a day and they le make Nobody drinke they loue to haue Nobody trouble them and without good securitie they will lend Nobody mony Come into Birchin Lane they le giue Nobody a sute chuse where hee list goe into Cheapeside and Nobody may take vp as much plate as he can carrie Nobod. Then I le to London for the Country tires me With exclamations and with open wrongs Sith in the Cittie they affect me so Clowne O Maister there I am sure Nobody may haue anie thing without mony Nobody may come out of the Tauerne without paying his reckoning at his pleasure Enter a man meeting his wife Nobody That 's better then the Country Who comes heere Man Minion where haue you been all this night Wife VVhy doe you aske husband Man Because I would know wife Wife I haue beene with Nobody Nobod. T is a lie good man beleeue her not shee was not with mee Man And who hath layne with you to night Wife Lye with mee why Nobody Nobod. Oh monstrous they would make me a whore-maister Man Well I doe not thinke but Sombody hath been with you Sombo. Sombody was indeed Wife Gods life husband you doe me wrong I lay with Nobody Man Well minion though Nobody beare the blame Vse it no more least Sombody bide the shame Nobod. I will endure no longer in this Clymate It is so full of slaunders I le to the Cittie And there performe the deedes of charitie Enter the 2 man and a prentice 2 Man Now you rascall who haue you beene withall at the ale-house Prent. Sooth I was with Nobody Nobod. Not with me 2 Man And who was drunke there with you Prent. Sooth Nobody was drunke with me Nobod. O intollerable they would make me a drunkard to I cannot indure any longer I must hence No patience with such scandals can dispence 2 Man Well sirra if I take you so againe I le so belabour you O neighbour good morrow 1 Man Good morrow 2 Man You are sad me thinkes 1 Man Faith sir I haue cause I haue lent a friend of mine a hundred pounde and haue Nobodyes worde for the payment bill nor bond nor any thing to shew 2 Man Haue you Nobodies worde I le assure you that Nobodie is a good man a good man I assure you neighbor Nobodie will keepe his worde Nobodies worde is as good as his bond 1 Man Ey say you so nay then le ts drinke downe sorrow If none would lend then Nobody should borrow Nobody Yet there 's one keepes a good tongue in his head That can giue Nobody a good report I am beholding to him for his praise But since my man so much commends the Cittie I le thether and to purchase me a name Take a large house of infinite receipt There keepe a table for all good spirits And all the chimneyes shall cast smoake at once There I le giue schollers pensions Poets gold Arts their deserts Philosophy due praise Learning his merrit and all worth his meede There I le release poore prisoners from their dungeons Pay Creditors the debts of other men And get my selfe a name mongst Cittizens That after times pertakers of all blisse May thus record Nobody did all this Country farewell whose slaunderous tongues I slie The Cittie now shall lift my name on hie Sombody Whether I le follow thee with Swallowes wings And nimble expedition there to raise New brawles and rumors to eclipse thy praise Those subtile slie insinuating fellowes Whom Sombody hath sent into the country To rack transport extort and to oppresse VVill I call home and all their wits employ Against this publique Benefactor knowne Honest for all the rumors by vs sowne But howsoeuer I am sworne his foe And opposite to all his meriting deedes This way must doe though my deuining thoughts This augurie amidsts their changes haue That Sombody will at length be proou'd a knaue Exeunt Enter Queene Sicophant and Lady Elidure seuerallie Sicoph. Good day to you both faire Ladies But fairest of them both my gratious Queene Good day to your high Maiestie and madam The royall Lady of great Elidure My Soueraignes brother vnto you I wish This morning prooue as gracious and as good Queene Those greetings from the Lady Elidure VVould pleasingly sound in our princely eares Lady Such greetings from great Archigalloes queene VVould be most gratious to our princely eare Queene What no good morrow and our grace so neere Reach me my gloue Lady VVhom speakes this woman to Queene Why to my subiect to my waiting maid Am not I mightie Archigalloes queene Is not my Lord the royall English King Thy husband and thy selfe my seruitors Lady Is my Coach ready where are all my men That should attend vpon our awfull frowne VVhat not one neere Queen Minion my gloue Sicoph. Madam her highnes gloue Lady My scarfe is falne one of you reach it vp Queene You heare me Lady Painted Maiestie be gone I am not to be countercheckt by any Quee. Shall I beare this Sicoph. Be patient I will schoole her Your excellence greatly forgets your selfe To be so dutilesse vnto the Queene I haue seene the world I know what t is to obey And to commaund What if it please the Queene That you her subiect should attend on her And take her gloue vp is it meete that I Should stoope for yours You 're proud fie fie you 're proud This must not be twixt such two royall sisters As you by marriage are goe to submit Her Maiestie is easie to forgiue Lady Sawcie Lord forbeare there 's for your exhortation Queene I cannot beare this t is insufferable I le to the King and if he saue thy life He shall haue mine madnes and wrath attend My thoughts are leueld at a bloody end Exit Lady Shee 's shadow We the true substance are follow her those That to our greatnesse dare themselues oppose Enter Cornwell Martianus Morgan and Malgo. Cornw. Helth to your Ladiship I
your pride And make you stoope at our imperiall side But tell me Morgan by what accident You met with my beloued Archigallo Morg. Euen in the woods where we did hunt the stagge There did the tender harted Elidure Meete his distressed Brother and so wrought By his importunate speech with all his Peeres That after much deniall yet at last They yeelded their allegiance to your Lord Whom now we must acknowledge our dread King And you our princelie Queene Lady Thou Screchowle Rauen vglie throated slaue There 's for thy newes Queene Restraine her good my Lord Sicoph. Fie madam fie fore God you are too blame In presence of my soueraigne ladie Queene To be thus rude it would become you better To shew more dutie to her Maiestie Lady O monstrous was not I thy Queene but now Sicoph. Yes when your husband was my King you were But now the streame is turnd and the States currant Runnes all to Archigallo blame not mee Wisedome nere lou'd declined Maiestie Enter Archigallo crownd Elidure Peridure Vigenius Cornwell Martianus and others Queene VVelcome from banishment my louing Lord Your kinglie presence wraps my soule to heauen Arch. To heauen and my kind brother Elidure Faire Queene we owe chiefe thanks for this our greatnes Next them these honourable Lords Corn. Great Queene Once more the tribute of our bended knees We pay to you and humbly kisse your hand Mart. So doth Martianus Perid. And I Vige. And I Queene Our brothers by how much that name exceedes The name of Lord so much the more this dutie Deserues requitall thanks both and thanks to all Arch. Set on there Exeunt all but Lady Sicophant Sicoph. Madam you are not wise to grieue at that Heauen hath decreed and the state yeelded to No doubt her Maiestie will vse you well Lady VVell saiest thou no I looke that she should treble All the disgraces I haue layd on her I shall turne Laundresse now and learne to starch And set and poke and pocket vp such basenes As neuer princesse did did you obserue What lookes I cast at Elidure my husband Sicoph. Your lookes declard the passion of your hart They were all fire Lady Would they had burnt his eyes out That hath eclipsd our state and Maiestie Enter Queene Morgan and Malgo. Queene Bring hether the proude wife of Elidure Sicop. It shall be done Queene Our shoe string is vntied stoope minion stoope Lady I le rather stoope to death thou moone-like Queene New changd and yet so proude there 's those are made For flexure let them stoope thus much I le doe You are my Queene t is but a debt I owe Queene Bring me the worke there I will taske you to That by the howre spin it I charge you doe Lady A distaffe and a spindle so indeed I told you this Diana be my speede Morg. Yet for his Princelie worth that made you Queene Respect her as the wife of Elidure Enter Cornwell Cornw. VVhere 's the Queene Queene What newes with Cornwell why so sad my Lord Corn. Your husband on the suddaine is falne sicke Queene How sicke Lady Now if it be thy will sweet blessed heauen Take him to mercie Quee. Doe not heare her prayers heauen I beseech thee Enter Martianus Mart. Madam his highnes Queen Is he aliue or dead Mart. Dead madam Queene O my hart Corn. Looke to the Queene let vs not loose her to She breathes stand of where be those wemen there Good Queene that shall be lends a helping hand Helpe to vnlace her Lady I le see her burst first Queene Now as you loue me let no helping hand Preserue life in me I had rather die Then loose the title of my soueraigntie Lady Take backe your Distaffe yet we le stay our rage We will forbeare our spleene for charitie And loue vnto the dead till you haue hearsd Your husbands bones conduct her Lords away Our pride though eager yet for foode shall stay Sicoph. Wil t please your high imperiall Maiestie Commaund my seruice I am humbly yours Lady We doe commaund what we well know you le doe Follow the stronger part and cleaue thereto Exeunt Enter Elidure crownd all the Lords and Ladies attendants Elidu. Once more our royall temples are ingirt VVith Brittaines golden wreath all seeing heauen Witnes I not desire this soueraigntie But since this kingdoms good and your Decrees Haue laid this heauen loade of common care On Elidure we shall discharge the same To your content I hope and this Lands fame Our brother once interd we will not stay But then to Troynovant wee le speede away Exeunt Enter two Porters 1 Porter Come fellow Porter now the Court is heere Our gaines will flie vpon vs like a tide Let vs make vse of time and whilst there 's plentie Stirring in Court still labour to increase The wealth which by our office we haue got 2 Porter Out of our large alowance we must saue Of thousands that passe by vs and our office we will giue entertainment to No-body Enter No-body No-body My name is No-body 1. Port. You are welcome sir ere you peruse the court Tast the kings beere heere at the Porters lodge A dish of beere for maister No-body Nobody I thanke you sir 2. Port. Heere maister No-body with all my hart A full Carouse and welcome to our Office Nobo. I thanke you sir and were your beere tems water Yet No-body would pledge you to you sir 1. Port. You are a stranger here how in the Citty Haue you bin long in towne Nobo. I sir too long vnlesse my entertaine Had bin more pleasing for my life is sought I am a harmelesse well dispos'd plaine man That iniure none yet what so ere is done Amisse in London is impos'd on me Be it lying secret theft or any thing They call abuse t is done by No-body I am pursued by all and now am come To see what safety is within the Court For a plaine fellow 2. Por. You are welcome hether sir Methinkes you do looke wilde as if you wanted sufficient Sleepe Nobo. O do not blame me sir Being pursued I fled comming though Poules There No-body kneeld downe to say his prayers And was deuout I wis comming through Fleetstreet There at a tauern doore two swaggerers Were fighting being attacht t was askt who gaue The first occasion t was answered nobody The guilt was laid on me which made me fly To the Thems side desired a Waterman To row me thence away to Charing-crosse He askt me for his fare I answered him I had no money what 's your name quoth he I told him No-body then he bad me welcome Said he would carry No-body for nothing From thence I went To see the law Courts held at Westminster There meeting vvith a friend I straight vvas askt If I had any sute I ansvvered yes Marry I vvanted money sir quoth he For you because your name is No-body I vvill sollicit law and no-body Assure your selfe shall thriue by sutes
in Lavv I thankt him and so came to see the court Where I am very much beholding to your kindnesse 1. Port. And Maister no-body you are very vvelcome Good fellow lead him to the Hall Will you vvalke neare the court nobo. I thanke you sir Exeunt nobody and Porters Enter Some-body and a Bragart Som. Fie vvhat a toile it is to find out nobody I haue dogd him very close yet he is got into the court before me Sir you haue sworne to fight with nobody Do you stay heere and watch at the court gate And when you meet him challenge him the field Whilst I set Lime-twigs for him in all Offices If either you or I but prosper right He needs must fall by policy or slight Exit Brag I would this roundman nobody would come I that professe much valor yet haue none Cannot but be too hard for nobody For what can be in nobody vnlesse He be so cald because he is al spirit Or say he be all spirit wanting limbes How can this spirit hurt me sure he dies And by his death my fame shall mount the skies Enter nobody nobody By thy leaue my sweet friend There 's for thy farewell Brag. Stay nobo. That 's but one word let two go to the bargaine if it please you why should I stay Brag. I challenge thee no. I may chuse whither I le answer your chalenge by your leaue Bra. I le haue thee picturd as thy picture vnles thou answer me no. For what sir pray why wold you haue me printed Brag. For cowardice nobo. Methinkes your picture woulde doe better for the picture of cowardice then mine sir but pray what 's your will with me Brag. Thou hast abusd one Some-body nobo. So haue my betters abusd Som-body in their time Brag. I le fight with thee for that no. Alas sir I am nobody at fighting yet thus much let mee tell you nobody cannot run away I cannot budge Brag. Prepare thee then for I will spit thy body vppon this weapon nobo. nay by faith that you cannot for I haue no bodye Brag. Thy bowels then no. They are the fairer mark a great deal com on sir come on Brag. Haue at thy bellie nobo. You must either hit that or nothing Brag. I le kill and quarter thee nobo. You le hardly find my ioynts I think to quarter me I am so well fed come on sir Fight nobody is downe Brag. now thou art at my mercie no. What are you the better to haue nobody at your mercy Brag. I le kill thee novv Nobo. I thinke you le sooner kill me then any body But let me rise againe Brag. No I will let No-body rise Nobo. Why then let me sir I am No-body Enter Clowne Clown How now O fates O heauens is not that my M. what shall I do be valiant and reskue my sweet maister Auant thou Pagan Pug what ere thou be Behold I come to set thy prisoner free Brag. Fortune that giddy Goddesse hath turnd her wheel I shall be matcht thus will I gore you both Hold captains not Hercules himselfe would fight with two I yeeld Clown T was yoor best course down vassall dawn and kisse My pumpe Brag. T is base O base Clow. Zounds I le naile thy lips to limbo vnlesse thou kis Brag. T is done Nobo. Thanks honest seruant Clow. Zounds if I say I le do et I le do et indeed Nobo. For this I le carry thee into the Court Where thou shalt see thy Maister No-body Hath friends will bid him welcome so farewell Clown Farewell maister Braggart farewell farewell Exeunt Brag. I le follow I shall meet with Some-body That will reuenge I le plot and e rt be long I le be reuengd on No-body for this wrong Exit Enter Vigenius Peridure and the Queene Queene Your hopes are great faire brothers and your names shall if in this you be aduisd by vs Be rankt in scroule of all the Brittish kings Oh take vpon you this so weighty charge To great to be dischargd by Elidure Vig. Deere sister Q. how are we bound to you In neerer bonds then a fraternall league For this your royall practise to raise vs Vnto the height of honor and estate Let me no longer breath a prince on earth Or thinke me woorthy of your regall blood If we imbrace not this high motion Perid. Imbrace it brother we are all on speed My princely thought inflam'd with Ardency Of this imperiall state and Scepterd rule My kinglie browes itch for a stately Crowne This hand to beare a round Monarchall Globe This the bright sword of Iustice and stern aw Deere sister you haue made me all on fire My kingly thoughts beyond their bounds aspire Vig. How shall we quit your loue when we ascend The state of Elydure Queen All that I craue Is but to make the imperious Queene my slaue That she that aboue Iustice now commands May tast new thraldome at our royall hands Perid. The Queene is yours the king shal be depos'd And she disgraded from all Soueraignty Queen That I might liue to see that happy houre To haue that sterne commandresse in my power Vig. Shee s doomd alreadie and at your dispose And we prepard for speedy execution Of any plot that may availe our pompe Or throne vs in the state of Brittany Enter Morgan and Mallgo Perid. Heere comes the Lords of this pretended league How goes our hope speake valiant English Peeres Are we in way of Soueraignty or still stand we Subiects vnto the aw of Elidure Mor. Long liue the valiant brothers of the King With mutuall loue to weare the Brittish Crowne Two thousand Souldiors haue I brought from Wales to wait vpon the princely Perydure Malg. As many of my bold confederates Haue I drawne from the South to sweare allegiance to young Vigenius Vig. Do but call me king the charming Spheres so sweetly cannot sing Malg, To king Vigenius Vig. Oh but where 's our Crowne that make knees humble when their soueraignes frowne Mal. King Eliduras shall his state resigne Perid. Say Morgan so and Britains rule is mine Mor. king Peridure shall raigne Perid. And sit in state Mor. And thousand subiects on his glory waite Perid. Then they that lifts vs to the imperiall seate Our powers and will shall study to make great Vig. And thou that raisest vs as our best friend Shall as we mount the like degrees ascend Queen When will you giue the attempt Perid. Now royall sister Before the king haue notice of our plot Before the Lords that loue his gouernment Prepare their opposition Vig. Well determined And like a king in Esse now this night Le ts make a hostile vprore in the Court Surprize the king make ceazure of the Crowne Lay hands vpon the Counsell least they scape to leuy forces those Lords that serue the king and with austere reproofes punish the hatefull vices of the Land Must not awe vs they shall not raigne we wil those that applaud vs raise despise
vs kill Perid. I see a kind of state appeare already In thy maiestick brow cal in the souldiors Man the Court gates barricade al the streets Defend the waies the lands and passages And girt the pallace with a treble wall Of armed souldiors and in dead of night When all the peeres ly drownd in golden sleepe Sound out a sodaine and a shrill Alarum to maze them in the midst of horrid dreames Vig. The king and Crowne is ours Q. The Queen I claime Perid. It shal go hard but I the shrew will tame trumpets and drums your dreadfull clamors sound Vig. Proclaime me captiue or a king new crownd Alarum they watche the doores Enter at one doore Cornwell Corn Treason treason Perid. thou art mine what ere thou be Corn Prince Peridure Perid. I Cornwell and thy king Corn. He discords taught that taught thee so to sing Alarum Enter at another doore Martianus Mar. Who stops this passage Vig. Martianus we Mar. Vigenius Vig. Vnto whom thou owest thy knee Mar. My knee to none but Elidure shall bend Vig. Our raign beginning hath when his lines end Alarum Enter at another doore Elydure stopt by the Queene Lady What traitrous hand dares interdict our way Queene Why that dare ours t is we command thee stale Lady Are we not Queene Queene I st you then happily met I haue owed you long and now I le pay that dept Lady Vild traitresse darest thou lay a violent hand on vs thy Queene Queene We dare commaund thee stand Thou wast a Queene but now thou art a slaue Lady Before such bondage graunt me heauen a graue Alarum Enter Elidure Elidure What seeke ye Lords What meane these loud Alarums in the still silence of this hunnied night Perid. King we seeke thee Vig. And more we seeke thy Crowne Elidure Why Princely brothers is it not our owne That t is ours we plead the law of kings The guift of heauen and the antiquety on earth Election from them both Vig. We plead our powers strength we two must raign Perid. We were borne to rule and homage we disdaine Corn. Doe not resigne good King Perid. How saucy Lord Corn. I le keepe still thy Crowne Perid. I say that word shall cost old Cornwels life Corn. Tush this for care Tyrants good subiects kills and traitors spare Vig. Wilt thou submit thy Crowne Mar. Dread soueraigne no Vig. He hates his owne life that aduiseth so Mar. I hate all traitors and had rather die Then see such wrong done to his soueraignty Queen Giue vp thy state to these two princely youthes and thy resignment shal preserue thy life Lady Wilt thou so much wrong both thy selfe and wife Hast liued a king and canst thou die a slaue A royal seat doth aske a royall graue Though thousand swords thy present safety ring Thou that hast bin a Monarche dye a king Queen Whether he liue or dye thou sure shalt be no longer Queene but Vassayle vnto me I le make ye now my drudge Lady How mynion thine Queene Th art no more Queen thy husband must resigne Corn. Resigne to whom Perid. I am one Vig. And I another Lady Canst be so base to see a younger brother Nay two young Boyes plast in thy throne of state And thou their sodaine in their traines to waite I le dye before I endure it Perid. So shall all that doe not prostrate to our homage fall Shall they not brother king Vig. They shall by heauen Mar. Come kill me first Corn. Nay make the number euen And kill me to for I am pleasd to dye Rather then this indure Lady The third am I Queene Nay strike her first Perid. Rage giue my fury way Vig. Strike valiant brother king Elid. Yet he are me stay Perid. Be briefe for Gods sake then Elidure O heauen that men so much should couet care Septers are golden baites the outsides faire But he that swallowes this sweete sugred pill T will make him sicke with troubles that grow stil Alasse you seeke to ease me being wearied And lay my burthen on your able loines My vnambitious thoughts haue bin long tird With this great charge and now they rest desird And see the kinde youths coueting my peace Bring me of all these turmoiles free release Heere take my Crown Lady Wilt thou be made a stale Shall this proud Woman and these boyes preuaile Shal I for them be made a publike scorne Oh hadst thou buried bin assoone as borne How happy had I bin Elid. Patience sweete wife Thinkst thou I praise my Crowne aboue thy life No take it Lords it hath my trouble bin And for this Crowne oh giue me backe my Queene Queene Nay she s bestowed on me Elydure Then what you please Heere take my trouble and resigne your ease Sicoph. My Lords receiue the crowne of Elydure Faire hopefull blossoms of our future peace Happy am I that I but liue to see the Land ruld by your dubble Soueraignty Vig. Now let the king discend to be disposd of At our high pleasure come giue me the Crowne perid. Why you the Crown good brother more then we vig. Wee le proue it how it fits our kingly temples And how our brow becomes a wreath so faire perid. Shall I see you crownd and my selfe stand bare Rather this wreath maiestick let me try And sit inthrond in pompious Maiesty vig. And I attend whilst you ascend the throne Where had we right we should sit crownd alone perid. Alone darst thou vsurpe vpon my right vig. I durst do much had I but power and might But wanting that come let vs raigne togither both kings and yet the rich crowne worne by neither perid. Content the king doth on our sentence waite To doome him come le ts take our dubble state What shall he liue or dye Elid. I know not how I should deserue to dye Lady Yes to let two such vsurpers liue Sicoph. Nay Madam now I needes must tell your grace You wrong these kings forget both time and place It is not as it was now you must bowe Vnto this dubble state I le shew you how Lady Base flattring groome slauish parasite Vig. Shall I pronounce his sentence Perid. Brother doe Vig. Thy life we graunt thee and that Womans to But liue deuided you within the tower You prisoner to that princesse Lady In her power Oh dubble slauery Perid. Conuay both hence Elid. My doomes seuerer then my small offence Queene Come Minion will you goe Lady To death to hel Rather then in thy base subiection dwell Vig. Cornwell and Martianus you both see We are possest of this imperiall seate And you that were sworne liedgemen to the Crowne Should now submit to vs that owe the same We know without your graue directions We cannot with experience guide the land Therefore wee le study to deserue your loues Perid. T was not ambition or the loue of state that drew vs to this businesse but the feare Of Elidurus weakenesse whom in zeale To
hinder our renowne Vig. Such as are apt for tumult Perid. Such as you That to our lawfull Soueraigne are vntrue Vig. Blushes not Peridure to braue vs so Perid. Blushes Vigenius at thy ouerthrow Who wa st that told me he would submit Sicoph. T was I my Lord Vig. Peace foole thou doest forget T is not an hower since to our princely eare Thou saidst thou did desire vs to forbeare Sicoph. True my good Lord Perid. True that I sought to stay vig. That I would basely my ritche hopes betray Sico. I did it of mine owne head to make you friends Perid. Still playing of the Sicophant Vig. What still Perid. A glose I see to insinuate our good will Vig. That whosoeuer conquerd he might gaine Perid. the fauour of vs both that was his trayne Vig. But henceforth we cashiere thee from the filde Perid Neuer heereafter beare a souldiers shield A souldiers sword nor any other grace But what is like thine owne a doubble face sicoph. Now I beseech Ioue heare my praier let them bee both slaine in the battell Exit Perid. If there be any other of his hart We giue them free licence to depart corn Cornwell hates flattery Mar. So does Martianus Malg. Malgo is resolute for all affaires Morg. And so is Morgan for he scornes delayes Vig. then where the fielde consists of such a spirit He that subdues conquers the Crowne by merit perid. that 's I Vig. t is I Perid. Ryuers in blood declare it Vig. Grasse turne to Crimson if vigenius spare it Elid. Aire be made purple with our reaking gore vige. Follow my frends Perid. Conquer or neare giue ore Alarum Excursious periduras and vigenius fight and both slaine Enter cornwell Martianus Morgan and Malgo. Mar. this way I saw vigenius on the spur corn I periduras this way Morg. A strang fight my Lord is breathlesse Malg. My deare Lord is dead Mar. True Brothers in ambition and in death Corn. Yet we are enemies why fight we not With one another for our generals losse Mar. To much blood already hath beene spent Now therefore since the difference in themselues Is reconsiled in eithers ouerthrow Let vs be as we were before this Iar And ioyning hands like honorable frends Inter their bodyes as becomes their state And which is rare once more to Elidure Who now in prison leades a wearied life With true submission offer Englands Crowne Of all the charges of tumultuous fate This is most strange three times to flow in state Exeunt Enter Queene and Sicophant Sico. Madam Queene You are welcome what new flatteries Are a coyning in the mint of that smoth face Sicoph. Where is the Lady Elidor I pray Q. Amongst my other waiting maides at worke sicoph. T is well yet Madam with your gratious leaue I wish it better Queene What in loue with her Canst thou affect such a deiected wretch Then I perceiue thy flattery is folly Or thout proue honest louing one so poore Sico. I know not Madam what your highnesse gathers Out of my troubled words I loue you well And though the time should alter as I am sure It is impossible yet I would follow All your misfortunes with a patient hart Queene I haue seene too much of thee to credit thee Sico. Now in your height of glory vse your seruant now Madam whilst the noble Peridure That loues you dearer then the Brittish Crowne Whilst hee s conqueror vse me to destroy Your greatest enemy and I will doe it Queene Thou wilt not sicoph. Be it Elidure the king The prisoner I should say I de murder him To shew how much I loue your maiesty Q. Thou wouldst not poyson for me his base Queene Whom I so often haue triumphed ore That torment now is her beatitude And tedious vnto me sico. no more she s dead Enter Lady Elidure queene See where she comes dispatch her presently For though the Princely Peridure be king His brothers death in time will make him odious Vnto his subiects and they may restore Mild Elidure againe and then I dye sico. Withdraw she s dead as surely as you liue Lady What shall I neuer from this seruitude Receiue releasant euermore be plagud With this insulting Queen Is there no change no other alteration in the state I know there is not I am borne to be a slaue to one baser then slauery sioo. I will release you by a speedy death Lady By death alasse what tongue pronounst that word What my Lord weather-cocke nay then I see Death in thy mouth is but base flattery sico. By heauen I am sent to kill you Lady By whose meanes sico. By one that will auouch it when t is done Lady not the proud queene sico. Yes but I am determined in full amends for all my flattery to saue your life and kill her instantly La. Oh if a Divell would vndertake that deed I card not though she heard me I would say He were a starre more glorious then the day sicoph. And would you for that good deed pardon me Lady And quite all former iniury sicoph. But let me tell your highnes by the way the Queene is not so hasty of your death Lady no for she had rather haue my life prolongd sicoph. I do assure your highnes on mine honor When I did say she sent me to destroy you I slaunderd her great mercy towards you For she had giuen me order to release you Lady Oh monstrous lie sicoph. beleeue it for t is true And this moreouer she somuch repents Her former pride and hardnes towards you that she could wish it neuer had bin done Lady then I repent me of my wrongs towards her And in the stead of a reward proposd to him that should destroy her I do wish Death be his death that vndertakes the deed sicoph. but will you not forget these princelie words if any alteration should ensue Lady not I I in my oths am true sicoph. Except once more the Lords crowne Elydure Lady though that should chance I le hold my promise sure sicoph. And you too Madam Q. So thou murderst hir sico. Know that Lord periduras and his brother are in the battell slaine and by the nobles her husband Elidure raisd to the state setting aside all iesting Queene beleeue it And truce with her least she triumph againe Queen For Gods sake make vs friends sicoph. Good Lord how strange this reconciled foes behold each other Lady Sister Queen Kind sister sicoph. Then make me your brother say are you friends Both We are sicoph. Then chance what can in this I haue prooud my selfe an honest man Enter Malgo. Malgo. The king your husband madam new releast Desires your presence at his Coronation Lady My Elydure a third time to be crownd Mal. True Madam and expects your company Lady And you knew this before sicoph. No on mine honor Lady Neither you Sister Queene neither Lady If you did My oath is past and what I haue lately sworne I le hold inuiolate here
th Garden-allies and vndid himselfe somebody swaggered with the watch last night was carried to the counter somebody once pickt a pocket in this Play-house yard Was hoysted on the stage and shamd about it Clow. Ha ha hath my maister met with you no. Alasse my liege your honest No-bodie Builds Churches in these dayes and Hospitals Releeues the seuerall prisons in the Citty Redeemes the needy debtor from the hole And when this somebody brings infant children And leaues them in the night at strangers doores Nobody fathers them prouides them nurses What should I say your highnes loue I craue That am all iust corn Then somebodie 's a knaue sicoph. If neyther citty nor countrie wil preuaile to him with the court ma somebody and there you will match him som. Then touching his abuses in the court corn I marrie Nobody what say you to this See heere are dangerous Libils gainst the state And no name to them therefore nobodies Mar. Besides strange rumors and false buzzing tales Of mutinous leesings raisd by No-body Malg. False dice and Cheating brought euen to the presence and who dares be so impudently knauish Vnlesse some fellow of your name and garbe Morg. Cards of aduantage with such cheating tricks Brought euen amongst the noblest of the land And when these cosening shifts are once discouered There is no cheater found saue No-body som. How canst thou answer these nobo. Euen as the rest Are libels cast if nobody did make them And no-bodies name to them they are no libels For he that sets his name to any slander Makes it by that no libell this aproues He forgd those slanderous writs to scandall me And for false cards and dice let my great slops And his big bellied dublet both be sercht And see which harbors most hipocrisie queene Let them both be sercht sico. I le take my leaue of the presence Clow. nay M. sicophant wee le haue the inside of your pockets translated to wee le see what stuffyng they haue I le take a little paines with you Elid. What haue you there in nobodyes pockets Corn. Here are my liedge bonds forfeit by poore men Which he releast out of the vsurers hands And canceld Leases likewise forfeited By him repurchast These peticions Of many poore men to preferre their sutes Vnto your highnesse Elid. Thou arte Iust we know All great mens pockets should be lined so queene What bumbast beares his gorge Mar. False Cards false Dice The kings hand counterfeit Bonds put in sute to gaine the forfitures forgd deedes to cheate men of their ancient land And thousand such like trashe Clo. Nay looke you heere heares one that for his bones is pretily stuft Heare 's fulloms and gourds heere 's tall-men low-men Heere tray duce ace passedge comes a pace som. Mercy great King Sicoph. Mercy my Soueraigne Corn. My liedge you cannot to be seuere in punishing Those monstrous crimes the onely staine and blemish To the weale-publike Eli. Villaines heare your doome Thou that hast bin the oppressyon of the poore Shalt bee more poore then penury it selfe All that thou hast is forfit to the Law For thy extortion I will haue thee branded Vpon the forhead with the letter F. For Cheating whipt for forging loose thine eares Last for a basing of thy Soueraignes Coyne And traitrous impresse of our kingly seale Suffer the death of traitors Beare him hence som. Since I must needs be martird graunt me this That No-body may whip or torture me Or hang me for a traitor Morg Away with him Som. Or if needs I must dye a traitors death That No-body may see me when I dye Malg. Hence with the traitor Clo. I know by your complexion you wer ripe for the hangman but now to this leane Gentleman Lady Let me doome him smoth spaniel soothing grome Slicke Oyly knaue egregious parasite Thou turning vane and changing Weather-cocke My sentence is thou shalt be naked stript And by the citty beadles soundly whipt Clow. I le make bold to see th execution No. Well hath the King decreed now by your highnesse patience let No-body borrow a word or two of Euery-body The Epilogue Heer if you wonder why the king Elidurus bestowes nothing on me for all my good seruices in his land if the multitude shuld say he hath preferd No-body Some-body or other would say it were not well done for in doing good to No-body he should but get himselfe an il name Therefore I will leaue my sute to him and turne to you Kinde Gentleman if any-body heere dislike No-body then I hope Euery-body haue pleased you for being offended with no-body nor Any-body can finde himselfe agrieued Gentlemen they haue a cold sute that haue no-body to speak in their cause and therefore blame vs not to feare yet our comfort is this if no-body haue offended you cannot blame No-body for it or rather we will finde Some-body heareafter shall make good the fault that no-body hath done and so I craue the generall grace of Euery-body Eli. now forward Lords long may our glories stand Three sundry times Crownd king of this faire land Exeunt FINIS SOME-BODY