excellent learning But yet in the meane time I haue knowne not a fewe whiche haue returned home to their Parents not only vnlearned but also most vile varlets wicked vnthriftes and roysting Ruffians nouseled in most wicked and vngodly opinions blasphemous and stayned with most filthie and monstruous manners and beastly behauiour which with much more profite might haue stayed at home with their Parents as dayly examples doe clearely testifie Notwithstanding if it may séeme profitable and necessarie to any to sende their sonnes into Italy or Fraunce to common studies in their Vniuersities and to haue greater vnderstanding and knowledge in the tongues and liberall Artes and Sciences I will not gaine say it or striue much with them so that it be done with great aduisement counsel and consideration that is to say if Parents shal first diligently instruct their children in the true knowledge reuerend fear of God and that the same be surely setled and most firmely fixed in their heartes that it may not be easily remooued and they caried away with euerie vaine blast of blasphemous doctrine and hatefull Heresies which shal soone be blowne aswel into their outward eares as also into their inward mindes wherwith their hearts shalbe so infected that both bodie minde shal soone be out of all good course Wherof all the Patriarkes and Prophets had great regard as we may reade in their Bookes which haue most diligently and carefully taught and instructed their children in the feare of God foretolde them of perilles and daungers and discouraged them from the company and fellowship of wicked men as wée may sée by the example of Beniamin which was alwayes kepte at home of his father Iacob And except Ioseph had béene diligently instructed of his father in the wayes of the Lorde God Howe I pray you had hée auoyded the lasciuious wordes of Putiphers wyfe which with her daily allurementes and with her peruersse pollicies did sollicite and moue him that by some meanes she might drawe him into the horrible sinne of adulterie except I say hée had béene carefully taught of his father and that from his childehood the true knowledge and feare of God vndoubtedly hée had béene intrapped with her faire promises and had vtterly perished with the sugred woordes of this lewde lasciuious woman For Ioseph was young well fauoured and comely And if per aduenture there be any that will not be moued with these godly examples let him reade Plinie de natura Ceti A Sea fishe of verie great bignesse who describeth his bodie to be 600. féete in length and 300. féete in breadth which watcheth and kéepeth his young ones very carefully neither doth suffer them to stray far frō him is moued with such excéeding care towards them y ◠in the time of any storme hée receiueth them into his wombe againe least they shoulde be hurt with the force and violence of the storme and tempest or fall into any perill or daunger and when the storme is once ouer and the Sea calme hée eiecteth and vomiteth them out againe By which example I wish all Parentes to bée admonished that they sende not their children into straunge and far countries except as I saide they be well and vertuously instructed and so as well by reason of their age as also by the experience of many thinges they become wiser and of more perfect iudgement to discerne betwéene good and euill Againe if a man be ignoraunt and knoweth howe and after what maner this first mutable wauering and slipperie age ought to be defended preserued and instructed let him learne this lesson also of the Delphins which doe accompanie their young ones a long time vntill they be well growne and able to shift and pray for them selues neither wil they suffer their young ones to raunge abroade and depart out of their sight except some elder one attend vpon them as a guide and ouerseer By this example also are Parentes to bée admonished that they sende not their sonnes into straunge countries vnaduisedly without their Paedagoges Tutors Gouernors least that they be Italianated as that worthie man maister Aschan hath sufficiently described in the latter end of his first Booke intituled the Schoolemaister Moreouer the Iewes also at this day do obserue this one thing verie carefully that they suffer none of their sonnes to forsake and leaue their fathers house and so to trauell-into any straunge nation or countrie except they haue first liued in wedlocke and haue had the fellowship and societie of a wife by the space of thrée yeares at the least and haue begot children by them And then libertie is graunted vnto them to departe and goe whither they will about their néedfull affaires and necessarie businesse Theophilus The Iewes in this point are farre wiser than many of vs Christians But now seeing that by many arguments good reasōs you haue shewed and declared vnto vs howe and after what maner Parentes ought to instruct and bring vp their children nowe wee earnestly desire to knowe of you after what sorte the Mothers ought to deale with their children in their bringing vp For it is certeine that Mothers by the commaundeof God ought to haue no lesse care and charge belonging vnto them than the Fathers and Maisters touching the good gouernment of their sonnes daughters and seruantes Theodidactus I cannot deny or refuse this my duetie vnto you desiring so good and godly a thing First this duetie belongeth to godly matrones and mothers of families that they them selues be in subiection to their owne husbandes as Saint Paule admonisheth saying Mulieres subditae estote viris vestris sicut oportet in domino Wiues submit your selues and be obedient to your owne husbandes as vnto the Lorde Wherefore a good wife ought not to abuse the moderation humanitie and lenitie of her husbande for then shée resisteth the commaundement of God For it is one thing to obey an other thing to rule and an other thing to commaunde And it nourisheth loue and concorde exceedingly when the wife is readie at the becke and commaundement of her husbande enclineth and prepareth her selfe to accomplish his requests and studieth to pleasure and gratifie him to the vttermost of her power And eschueth all thinges which shée knoweth woulde offende him For thus verely as one saieth a good wife by obeying her husbande doeth also after a sort rule and commaund him And this ought a woman to doe not only for the auoiding of variance discorde breach of loue but rather for that it is the commaundement of God Theophilus What are the chiefest ornaments of Godly Matrones Theodidactus Saint Peter saieth that the most excellent ornament of godly Matrones is to stay and repose their whole trust confidence and hope in the liuing God That they should be sober in their outward apparell be decked inwardly with the vertues of their mindes as with gentlenesse méekenesse quietnesse and chastitie which are most precious thinges in
by his example they coulde more easily tollerate and beare the death of their déerest friendes with greate pacience and constancie These examples doe admonishe vs that wée doe beare paciently and with good mynds the death of our children For séeing that the heathen men haue excelled in so greate constancie of mind I pray you what shal not wee suffer which haue professed our selues to be Christians We I say which are ingraffed vnto Christ vnited vnto him through that most sacred holy baptisme know that our children haue not onelie a Father héere vpon the earth but also in the heauens which hath prepared his Angelles that they should kéepe and take charge of our children in the stéede of Nurses Wherby also by many examples he hath declared and made manifest vnto vs that hée careth for them and preserueth them farre better and in more happy state and condition then parentes can eyther hope or wishe when vnto them it may séeme they vtterly perish and are most infortunate Which by the example of the Patriarche Iacob wee may plainely sée For when hée mourned and lamented for his sonne Ioseph being lost and as hée thought was miserably deuoured of the wilde beastes yet God in the meane time did exalt and promote him vnto great honour and dignitie in Aegypt and made him the instrument and meane to comfort his father and brethren and prolonged their dayes whereas other wise they were al in danger to haue perished with famine which fell ouer al the Landes there adioyning The like happened of Saule séeking his Fathers Asse which by the commaundement of GOD by Samuell was annoynted king of Israell Read the nienth and tenth chapters of the first booke of the kinges otherwise called the first booke of Samuell The like was in Christ which at the last was founde in the middle of the Doctors reasoning and disputing amongest them and posing them Therefore those Parentes more sorrowful then néede and bearing the fortune and death of their Children too vnpaciently if they beholde and consider the promises of God and these examples they shall easily sée and learne that these their vnfaithfull sorowes and cares for their Children are not onely wicked but also vayne and foolishe and so shall they confirme their fayth that afterwarde they shall more easily performe their dueties towardes their Children according to their vocation and moderately sustayne and with patience beare the fortune of their Children though it were accompanyed with death it selfe And they ought to beléeue and haue sure confidence that although they were lost or dead that yet neuerthelesse the Lord our GOD hath chiefe regarde and care of them if they liue in his feare And thus shall they more easily moderate and qualifie their immoderate sorrowes and mourninges Theophilus O immortal GOD who can sufficiently maruel and commende the constancie and pacience of these Ethnickes Againe if wee woulde faithfully beleeue that our Children are so carefully kept and preserued of GOD and that all thinges depende vpon his prouidence wee woulde with greater confidence commit all things vnto him which doe appertayne eyther to the bodies or soules of our children And wee woulde not bee so sorrowfull and discouraged when any aduersitie shall chaunce either to our selues or our children but woulde farre exceed those Ethnickes in constancie of minde When I reade so many and so notable thinges among the Philosophers of fortitude and constancie I am ashamed of the inconstancie of those men which seeme to bee adourned and garnished with so rare and singuler erudition and knowledge of God But nowe my good Theodidacte I woulde at the last know this one thing of you whether is it the duetie of godly Parentes to elect and choose for their sonnes beeyng once growen to mans state and stayednesse of life godlie wiues according to the example of Abraham Theodidactus Godlie Parentes before all thinges shall haue speciall regarde and care that they ioyne not their Sonnes in marriage vnto Lawelesse and vnbeléeuing wiues without anye difference but shall followe the example of the Patriarche Abraham which woulde not haue his sonne Isaac to be coupled in matrimonie vnto a wise from among the Chanaanites giuing his seruaunt charge after this manner Put thine hande vnder my Thigh that I may sweare thée by the Lorde GOD of Heauen and earth that thou doest not choose and take a wife for my sonne of the daughters of the Chanaanites amongst whom I now dwell but thou shalt goe vnto mine owne countrie kinred frō thence doe take a wife for my sonne Isaac Without doubt this so godly an example of Abrahā ought to admonish earnestly moue vs which haue either sōnes or daughters ready to marry to haue great care of them For except Abraham had feared some greate perill and daunger and had knowen some great secrete mischief to be hid and lurking therin certainly he woulde neuer haue giuen so earnest charge to his seruaunt That he should not take a wife of the daughters of the Chanaanites For it was not to be doubted but that some of their daughters were of good towardnes nature inclination also tractable which happily might haue béen drawne vnto Abrahams religion but hée would not haue his sonne to aduenture and make triall of so great a danger and in so weightie a matter Now forasmuch as Abraham did séeke to eschue this perill with what face boldnes or example dare we presume to attempt the same But hereof if God will wée will treate more at large in some other place of our next booke The second Booke of the dueties of Children towardes their Parents FOrasmuch as I haue alreadie spoken and that you haue so willingly heard from mée and my good friend Theophilus many things concerning those dueties which are required of Parentes towardes their Children nowe is it méete and conuenient that wée procéed to the other part of this our worke and purpose For I promised that to the vttermost of my simple skill and slender capacitie I would shew and declare vnto you those things which did apperteine to the dueties of Godly obedient children that is to wit what honour reuerence and obedience euery childe oweth to their Parents But my good Amusus before wée treat of this thing at large I woulde all your children were here present and that you woulde counsell them as I saide in the beginning of our talke that they may be silent and verie attentiue and bring with them pennes incke and paper to the ende they might note the most principall matters and worthie examples and so the better commit them to memorie Amusus Beholde here they are readie Elizabeth Anne Leuinus Charles Frauncis Paule Marie Katherine and Barbara and according to your commaundement I haue admonished them that they might hearken with all reuerence and marke euerie thing diligently Theodidactus What other thing should I wish to these your swéet childrē than that y e God
Drink no wine wherin is riotousnes excesse And it is certaine that of the superfluous drinking of wine procéed many euils which we may learne by the answere of Anacharsis who being strickeÌ„ of a drunken an vnruly youngman at a great feast or banket said Adolenscens sinune vinuÌ„ noÌ„ fers vbi senueris aquam feres Young man if thou caust not beare and indure wine now wheÌ„ thou wâ—â—â—st old thou shalt be compelled to beare drink water It was a signe of great moderatioÌ„ in this Philosopher that hée imputed vnto the wine the malepertnes and disordered behauiour of this young man For those that immoderatly shall drinke wine chiefly at that age to which water better agreeth is more conuenient such verie often are compelled to drinke water when they are olde by reason of their pouertie when neuertheles the vse of wine vnto that age were most méet and necessarie Also Diogenes at a time hearing a faire comely young man vsing very vnséemely spéeches saide Non te pudet qui ex ebâ—rneâ—â—agâ—â—a plumbeum educas gladium Art thou not ashamed to drawe a leaden sworde out of an Iuorie skaberd Iuorie in time past was had in great price as wée may read by this hée noted that garrulitie in young men is not to be suffered And Zeno the Philosopher reproued a young man pratling many thinges verie rashly saying vnto him after this maner Ob id binas habemus aures os vnicum vt plura audiamus loquamur paucissima For this cause nature hath giuen vs two eares and but one mouth to the ende wee should bee readier to heare than to speake Socrates espying a young man eating his meat verie gréedely at a feast and dipping his bread very often into his potage dish My guestes saieth hée which of you vseth his bread in the stead of soule his soule in the stead of bread Hereupon there was a reasoning amongst the guestes who it should bée which the young man perceiued and began to blush and after that he eat his meat more leasurely and with greater moderation than before Theophilus Verely that young man which hath purposed with him selfe to walke in the wayes of the Lord God in all thinges must both obserue and flee many things but yet in my iudgement there cannot be a more foule and horrible vice in a young man than whoredome and filthie lustes Wherefore I beseech you if you haue any thing that may tend to the detestation of this so horrible a vice disclose them vnto vs that the heartes of these children may bee throughly terrified and that they might not only shunne so pernicious and detestable a sinne both to bodie and minde but also loath it with their whole heart Theodidactus Whoredome and adulterie out of doubt are two horrible and detestable crymes wherefore young men ought to haue great care that they might liue godly and chastly and studie to preserue and kéepe them selues from all wanton and filthie lustes both of minde and bodie lest they prouoke the gréeuous wrath and indignation of God vpon them which they shall the more easilie doe if they shal alwayes fixe before their eies the writinges and testimonies of the holy Prophets and Apostles and the horrible examples of whoredom and adulterie which are set foorth vnto vs euerie where in the holy scriptures such as these are Fornicatio vinum ebriet as anferunt cor Fornication wine drunkennesse doe steale away the heart Fornicatores adulteros iudiâ—abit Deuâ— Fornicators and adulterers the Lord wil iudge The portion of fornicatours shall be in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone which is the second death And Moses saith Accursed be hée that shall lye and sléepe with an other mans wife And Tobias wishing well vnto his sonne and counselling him sâ—â—eth My sonne kéepe thée from all whoredome and besides thy wiâ—â— sée that no fault be knowne of thée Saint Mathew saieth Whosoeuer looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adulterie with her alreadie in his heart And Paul saith Know you not that your bodies are made the members of Christ shal I make theÌ„ the members of Christ y â— members of an harlot Do ye not know that hée which coupleth him selfe vnto an harlot is one bodie with her and hee that coupleth him selfe vnto the Lorde is one spiritâ— And againe Be ye not deceiued neither whoremongers nor worshippers of Images neither adulterers neither effeminate persoÌ„s nor those which defile them selues with mankind nor théeues neither couetous persons nor drunkardes neither cursed speakâ—râ— neither pillers nor pollers shall receiue the inheritaunce of the kingdome of God Chrysostome saith The râ—â—â—e of adulterie is the â—urious beholding of a womans face And one of the Fathers saith That fornication is stirred vp and lust procured with replâ—â—ion of meates and drinkes sacietiâ— of sléepe idlenesse and play wanâ—on wordes and the curious garnishing of the bodie Let wise young men haue alwaies in remeÌ„brance these such like places not suffer theÌ„selues to be polluted with such execrable wickednes folowing this example of Alexander which when hée had gotten into his kéeping the daughters of Darius being taken prisoners and when his friendes persuaded him that hée should goe and lye with those faire and bewtifull women Turpe foret inquit virorum victores à mulieribus vinci It were a foule shame and reproch saieth hee that the conquerours of men shoulde no we bee vanquished of women But nowe will I set before you certaine notable examples concerning this vice of adulterie It is written in the third Chapter of the booke of wisedome The children of aduouterers they shall come to an ende and the séeds of an vnrighteous bedde shall be rooted out and though they liue long yet shall they bee nothing regarded and their last age shall be without honour c. And in the fourth Chapiter hée saieth The multitude of vngodly children is vnprofitable and the thinges that are planted with whordome shall take no déepe roote nor laye any fast foundation hereby let yong men learne that adulterie greatly displeaseth the maiestie of God And let them hearken to the wholesome counsell of the Prophet saying I haue made a conenaunt with mine eyes that I woulde not once thinke of a virgine or els let them giue care to this that Iob saieth Auerte faciem tuam à muliere compta ne circumspicias speciem alienam propter speciem mulieris multiperierunt Turne away thy face from a gorgeous and fine decked woman behold not her straunge bewtie for many haue perished through the bewtie of women By these it appeareth that adulterie is a gréeuous sinne and prohibited and gréeuously punished of God as these places of scripture doe testifie Genesis 12. 20 Leuiticus 20. Deutro 22. Ieremie 3. Therefore it is néedefull that young men set before them the commaundements of God touching vnlawfull
graunted vnto them Prayer is most necessary in so great perils daungers of life neither is there any thing more séemely pleasant in the house than to sée behold an honest godly societie of the husband wife children wheÌ„ they striue in their seuerall dueties to loue cherish comfort one an other that they talke vpon God and of his benefites that they call vpon him with one voice and haue a care that the knowledge and true worship of God may be set foorth And lastly that the Parents hold not this doctrine only in wordes but also by example of life Theophilus Seing nowe you haue so excellently set forth vnto vs the Godly dueties of Matrimonie it resteth that you declare somewhat concerning the procreation of children Theodidactus You put me well in remembrance for as the procreatioÌ„ of children is the gift of God so is it the proper office of true and lawfull wedlocke which alwayes for the most part doeth waite theron as an inseperable companion which hath the blessing of God as witnesseth she scripture Gene. 1. where as Moses saith God blessed them and said increase and multiply and replenish the earth Herevpon it is that shée was holden accursed which had no séed in Israell and it was a great shame to haue no children Thus did Rachael bewayle the shame and reproch of Lyae So did Hâ—nna when shée was â—aâ—ren pray vnto the Lord and conceiued So in like maner Elizabeth the mother of Iohn Baptist moued God with continuall prayers and was heard Theophilus As the scripture pronounceth them happy whom God hath thus blessed with the increase of children So at this day the common people iudgeth them most vnhappie to whom God hath giuen many children such is the peruerse and preposterous iudgement of the vnlearned nay rather wicked men which looke what God calleth good they dare call euil and what God blesseth they dare curse Theodidactus It is the error or rather the malice of the common people from the which as from a common plague the godly ought to shun and let them rather agrée with Solomon which saith The crowne of the aged is childers children and againe The crowne of olde men is their sonnes sonnes and the glory of the sonnes is their fathers and great graund fathers And Dauid saieth Blessed are they that feare the Lord and walke in his waies For thou shalt eate the labour of thine hands O well is thée and happie shalt thou be Thy wife shalbe as the fruitfull vine vpon the walles of thine house Thy children like the Oliue braunches rounde about thy Table Lâ—e thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lorde And Isocrates being an heathen man coÌ„firmeth y e same also in these versâ—s Foelix fouet bene moratum quifilium Matre sobolis prouentu eris fâ—licior Happie is he which fostereth vp A well taught childe saieth hee Yet in thincrease of many good more happie shal hee bee ANd when Cambises compared himselfe with his father Cyrus and that his friends did sooth him that hée farre excéeded his father Cresus ouerhearing the same answereth after this maner That hée was nothing comparable to his father the which had left behinde him a sonne in the world for at that time Cambises had neuer a childe iudging that this was not the least benefite towardes the common wealth if not only a man shewe himselfe a vertuous and worthie man but if hée beget such as hée is himselfe and make them fit members for his countrie and common wealth And let this be sufficient touching the procreation of children Now let vâ— prosecute the second point that is to say of the necessitie and vtilitie of the instructing of children And first we wil approue the same by the commandement of God secondly by the example of the holy scriptures and lastly by the Ethnickes Theophilus Verie wisely and worthily spoken forsâ—eing that the procreation of children is not the common gift of God it is not without cause that wee ought to bestow al our paines diligence that youth may bee brought vp in the feare word of God But in what words hath God commaunded and inioyned vnto vs this diligent education and instruction of children Theodidactus The God of Israell beginneth after this maner Deut. 4. saying Be not forgetfull of the words which thine eyes haue séene that they slip not out of thine heart all the dayes of thy life Thou shalt teach them thy sonnes and thy sonnes sonnes saying When thou stodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb when the Lord saide vnto mée gather mée the people together and I wil make them heare â—â—â— wordes that they may learne to feare mée all the dayes that they shall line vpon the earth that they may teach their children And againe These wordes which I commaund thée this day shall be in thine heart and thou shalt shewe them vnto thy children and shalt talke of them when thou art at home sitting in thine house and as thou walkest by the way and when thou lyest downe and when thou risest vp And thou shalt binde them for a signe vpon thine hand And they shal be warninges betwéene thine eyes and thou shalt write them vpon the postes of thine house and vpon thy gates And in the 11. Chapter he saith Therfore shal ye lay vp these my words in your heart in your soule bind them for a signe vpoÌ„ your hands set them before your eyes teach them your children that they may talke of them when thou sittest in thine house And when thou walkest by the way when thou liest down wheÌ„ thou risest vp yea thou shalt write them vpon thy doore postes of thine house vpon thy gates y t your dayes the dayes of your children may be multiplied Tel your children of it let theÌ„ shew it to their children so they to certefie their posteritie therof Behold y e truth hateth not the light but wil be manifested in all things Therefore the Prophet is not coÌ„tent to teach the people of his time but doeth desire y t they might be taught vnto y e end of the world And he doeth exhort them y t one generation might teach instruct an other And now albeit that very many Parents at this day my Theophilus do lightly regard y e teaching instructing of their children yet how earnestly the instructing of them is charged commaunded here your self may easily iudge So y t when I do bewaile sometime the negligeÌ„ce of many parents I oft burst out into these wordes Alas vnto what end would the education of children haue come if there had béen no commandement nor order prescribed for the same By this we may gather none other thing then excéeding darknesse and confusion of minde that the nature of mankinde should haue vtterly béen defiled which so shamefully contemneth her children of her own self
But first attend and marke diligently what and how great a treasure a godly wife is the worthie praises wherof Solomon very excellently deseribeth after this maner saying Muler diligens corona est viro suo A louing wife is a crowne vnto her husband And againe Sapiens mulier oedificat domuÌ„ suam A wise womaÌ„ vp holdeth her house but a foolish woman plucketh it downe And in the 18. Chap. Qui inuenit mulierem bonam inuenit bonum Who so findeth a good wife findeth a high treasure And Iesus Syrach saith Noli discedere à muliere sensata bona quam sortitus es in timore domini Depart not thou from a good wise woman whom thou hast chosen in the feare of the Lorde And in the same Chapter hée saith Beatus qui habit at cum muliere sensata Happie is hee that dwelleth with a wise woman And againe Happy is the man that hath a vertuous wife for the number of his yéeres shalbe doubled An honest woman maketh her husband a ioyfull man shée shall fill the yéeres of his life in peace A vertuous woman is a noble gift which shalbe giuen for a good portioÌ„ vnto such as feare god for whether a man be rich nor poore hée may haue euer a merry heart and a chéerefull countenance A louing wife reioyseth her husband and féedeth his bones with her wisdome A woman of few wordes is a great gift of God and to all well nurtured mindes may nothing bée compared An honest and manerly wife is a gift aboue other giftes and there is nothing to bée compared vnto a minde that can rule it selfe Theophilus These bee notable prayses but where shall a man seeke for sucheâ— one Where shall shee bee found Of whom shall a man desire a wife adourned with suche excellent vertues For it is a birde seldome seene Theodidactus So soone now as a young man shall attaine to that age that hée begin to bethinke how to contract himselfe in matrimonie then let him not be ashamed to fall downe vpon his knées dayly and with feruent prayers and heartie supplications desire of Almighty God to send him a godly and vertuous wife for asmuch as shée is only the gift of God according to this saying Domus diuitiae dantur aparentibus adomino proprié vxor prudens House and riches may a man haue by the heritage of his parents but a wise and discret woman is the gift of the Lord. Theophilus What thinges are chiefly to be respected in marryinge a wife Theodidactus The Philosophers and auncient fathers whose authoritie aswell for their excellent doctrine as also for their great experience in things is not to bée reiected haue thought good that in choosing of a wife her age maners kindred fauour and riches ought to bée wayed and regarded which thinges if wée shall vtterly neglect and despise then shall wée purchase shame and reproch to our kindred and sorrow and repentance to our selues But if wée shal diligently obserue these former things then shall wée gaine prayse to our kindred our owne glory with perpetuall ioy and comfort But aboue all things the vertues of a woman are to bée respected whose force and dignitie is such that albeit the other things doe faile or doe not fully answere to her person yet shall the marriage bée acceptable and ioyfull therefore a sober and discrete wise is to bée chosen married and beloued whose frugalitie moderation and sobernesse is ioyned with honor profite and pleasure and that I might speake in a worde it is not the great dowry or many hundreds of pownds that maketh the happy wedlocke but vertue and true godlines towards God and men Theophilus What choyse ought chiefly to bee obserued in bestowing the daughters Theodidactus In placing and bestowing the daughters this choise ought to bée had that not onely the honestie of life externall goods garnishing and comelinesse is to bée considered but also the internall vertues and faith in God are to bee sought for For in the time of Saint Ambrose Parentes had great respect and regarde vnto this that they woulde not bestowe nor giue their daughters in marriage vnto infidels But the Bridegrome ready to bée married before the solemnizing of the marriage shoulde giue his name to Christ and set foorth and shewe a true confession of the Christian faith Woulde GOD this order were nowe obserued of all Parents in this our time for then shoulde they bestowe their Daughters muche better then they doe for the most as wee see the thing was obserued diligently among the Israelites Deuteronomi 7. Filiâ—s vestras ne detis Caneuaeis neque filias ipsorum accipietis filus vestris Giue not your daughters in marriage vnto the Cananites neither receiue you their daughters for your sonnes Theophilus At what age shall a man giue himselfe to a wife and when shall the maide marry Theodidactus Aristotle thinketh good that a maide bée married at xviii yéeres of age but hee affirmeth that a man may tarry till xxx very well But shée that will prooue a good wife is for the most parte indued with these thrée vertues shée will honor esteeme and obey both father and mother with great reuerence and lowlinesse of mind she wil loue cherish and make much of infants shée can sing wel and swéetely Philelphus saith When a man goeth about to woe his wife Let him first very warily and diligently séeke to vnderstande of the life fame and good report of her mother and of such fréendes as haue had the education and trayning vp of her with whom hée purposeth to marry And if all things fall out and bée answerable to his desire then in Gods name let him not feare to take to wife the daughter of an honest and godly mother Nor let him marry her only for necessitie sake but for the cause of a more commodious ioyfull life to come with whoÌ„ an acceptable societie of life must now begin not for the fulfilling of lust but for the propagation and increase of children And Aristotle saith Let him marry a maid to the end hée may teach her good maners and such other dueties as are most beséeming and decent for a wife for shée wil also be more tractable then a widdow whe rather will looke to bee obeied aswel for that shée hath béen before acquainted with loue matters as also bicause for the most part they bring greater wealth vnto their husbands then the maides doe And if you woulde now demaunde of mée what maner of wife is to bée married I say it is very méete and conuenient that you matche not your sonnes with such wiues as bée more Noble and of greater birth or richer than they But rather followe that olde and wise Prouerbe Equalem tibi mulierem inquire Search out a woman that is thine equall And as the Poet saith Si vis nubere nube pari If thou wilt needes marry then marry thy matche For who
so matcheth withfarre richer wiues then themselues they seldom acknowledge them for their husbands but rather account them as bondmen of their dowrie And Menander saith Vxorem ducito ex aequalibus ne si ex ditioribus duxeris dominos tibi pares non affines imo fugiendae sunt pecuniosae vxores quia pecuniosa vxor non est vxor sed verius imperiosa domina Marry thou a wife from among thy familier mates least if thou shalt marry one of the richer sort thou gettest lordes and maisters ouer thee in steede of kinsmen nay rather these rich monied wiues are to bee shunned for such as doe bring with them their stuffed bagges with these red ruddockes proue very seldome louing and obedient wiues but rather stately Lady like and imperious dames Theophilus I pray you sir tell me yet this one thing Is it not good to marry a faire wife Theodidactus All young men for the most part couet to marry faire wiues But Theophrastus is of this minde that a man may vse and inioy a harde fauoured and browne woman with lesse griefe and sorrowe then hée may preserue and kéepe his faire and well fauoured wife for hée accounteth nothing certaine and sure vnto any man whereon both the eyes and feruent desires of all people are wholy bent and firmely fixed For as muche as one with fauour and comelinesse will séeke to solicite her another with his fine wit and painted eloquence will moue and prouoke her some with delicate daliance mixed with mery conceipts wil séeke to allure her and others with liberall giftes will not sticke to inticâ— her Nam pecuniae obedunt omnia For all thinges obey to money And the fort or Castle bée it neuer so strong by one meane or other must néedes bée ouercome and vanquished which one euery parte is so besieged and assaulted The Poet Ennius perswadeth vs to marry such as are of pure and perfect chastitie of comely stature though somewhat browne which also Aulus Gellius declareth and affirmeth saying Eas statâ— formae esse quae nec formosissima nec turpissima forma sunt sed mediocritatem quandam habent quae quidem mediocritas omnibus in rebus laudatissima est Those women are accounted well fauoured and comely which are neither the fairest nor yet the foulest or harde fauoured but haue a certaine meane as wée commonly vse to say shee is neither faire nor foule but browne louely which mediocritie in all things verily is to bee commeded and praised And this comely stature out of doubt is sufficient and best agreing for the procreation of children For comelinesse and séemly proportion in women auaileth very much euen as in the men a good countenance a comely stature with wisdome and discretion is to bée wished and moste acceptable vnto a woman Therfore in a wife not beautie and finenesse but vertue and godlinesse is to bée respected as Michael Verinus saith very properly in these verses Sit formâ—sa aliis vxor tibi siâ— bona nescis quà m noceat castae forma pudicitiae Egrè formosam poteris seruare puellam nuuc prece nunc aura forma petitaruit The faire and beautifull let be to other wights I say the vertuous and the modest maide get thou if that thou may For beautie hindereth chastitie of this thou maiest bee sure the maide that beautie doeth possesse chaste hardly shall indure For some with wordes will her assault and sleights of Venus vse and some with gold will her allure which scarsce she will refuse These and many other thinges are to bée wayed and considered in the choyse of a wife and chiefly this that thou chosest one like to thy selfe in religion stocke wealth and comelinesse for the vnlikenesse of these things is oftentimes the occasions of contempt and continuall brawling and chiding For Cicero in his first booke of Offices saith Nihil amabilius nec copulatius quà m morum similitudo bonorum There is nothing that winneth more loue nor surelier knitteth men together then a likenesse in good conditions For in whom bée like desires and like mindes it happeneth among them that either with other is as much delited as with himselfe And so is it brought to passe that Pithagoras requires in amitie Vâ— vnus fiat ex pluribus That many may become one Also it is good for a man to marry a maide and suche a one as before hath béene married to no man For who so taketh a Widdowe to wife tyeth hym selfe chiefly vnto two great troubles first hée must deuise and labour by all meanes possible to make her forget the manners and qualities of her first husbande secondly hée must acquaint her verie warely with his owne nature and qualities and make her to haue a good opinion liking of himselfe and of his maners both which hee shal hardly doe without great pollicie and discretion Theophilus You haue nowe declared vnto vs the chiefe pointes concerning Matrimony it selfe Nowe it is needful that you shew vnto vs whether the priuie contractes and espousalles made without the consent of Parentes and gouernours ought to be accounted lawful before God and men or not And whether such knottes affiances and betrothinges may bee broken which are done without the good wil and consent of Parentes Theodidactus Before all thinges young men must séeke to shunne abhorre this detestable sinne of disobedience the which alas at this day is too common lest they intangle them selues vnto marriage without the consent of their Parentes for this is not only great disobedience but rather verie great madnesse For what is more grieffull and more miserable than a marriage enterprised and begunne so wickedly or a knot so vnluckely knit that it cannot bée vnlosed againe all the dayes of our life wherein wée shall continually be exercised in sorrowe vnquietnesse and brawling detayned in miserie misfortune and calamitie out of the which wee can neuer wynde our selues nor be deliuered excepte it be by death Truely youth must néedes fall into great perilles and daungers when neglecting and contemning the authoritie of their Parents they aspire and studie by all meanes possible to attaine vnto marriage making them priuie nothing at all vntill the matter be past remedie and so begin their wedlocke in sin and disobedience which God will neuer blesse nor prosper But contrariwise if they will endeuour to kéepe the commaundementes of Almightie God and to honour and obey their Parentes then hée hath promised to loue them and will bestowe his bountifull liberalitie and blessings vpon them In the meane time Parents ought not to neglect their dueties in bestowing and matching of their children for when the time serueth and the occasion is offered of God to bestowe their sonnes or daughters vnto matrimony then shal they not doubtfully dispute and reason about the dowrie stocke or Parentage and to séeke a knot in a rush as they say or to detract and prolong the time without iust cause but the will of God