Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
lord_n	daughter_n	son_n	thomas_n	10,981	5	7.7420	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A43768	Conjugall counsell, or, Seasonable advice, both to unmarried, and married persons directing the first how to enter into marriage estate, and the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life blads them to, that God may have glory, the church edification, and themselves and families, present and future comfort, tending much (by the blessing of God) to a through reformation of all the enormities of these evil times / by T.H. ...	Hilder, Thomas.	1653 (1653)	Wing H1974; ESTC R20660	113,375	218

see cost their Parents deare There is no man can say that he hath so good an Interest in any thing he doth enjoy as Parents have in their Children they are bone of their bone and flesh of their flesh Now then from this Interest Parents have in their Children as appeares evidently we may conclude thus much That it is an offence and a sin of an high nature for Children to bestow themselves in Marriage without much more if against the free consent of their Parents First humbly sought and obtained Secondly Great is the power which the Lord of all Creatures in Heaven and in Earth hath Invested I say Parents with over the bodies of their Children for we must know that God is the Father of spirits in a more peculiar manner and hath them wholly and solely at his own command and that in relation to the bestowing them in Marriage Parents have power to bestow their Daughters in Marriage and to take wives for their Sons Deut. 7.3 which I gather from that place by the rule of contraries but the Text is most properly an Inhibition of corrupt Marriages but more full to this purpose is that place in Jer. 29.6 Where the Lord speakes thus Take ye Wives and beget Sons and Daughters And take you Wives for your Sons and give your Daughters to Husbands Which makes this point cleare That the Lord I once more say doth Invest Parents with a full power over their Children in relation to Marriage yet mistake me not I dare not thinke much lesse say that Parents have a power to force their Children against their own wils to marry or be married as they please I only intend that though Children must have their own free consents to marry with such or such a person that yet they may not nor lawfully cannot without the consent of their Parents So that from this power God hath given Parents over their Children we do againe averre the truth of the former Conclusion that is That it is an Offence and sin of an high nature for Children to bestow themselves in marriage without much more if against the free consent of their Parents But to lay this sin yet closer to the hearts of cursed and rebellious Children let them know and know it assuredly that it is as cleare a truth as is involved in Gods Booke with reverence be it exprest that for them to bestow themselves in Marriage thus without much more I say against the consent of their Parents is a Capitall breach of the fifth seventh and eighth Commandements of the Decalogue First they transgresse against the fifth Commandement for therein God commands them to honour their Father and Mother And by this their bestowing themselves in Marriage against their consents they cast the greatest dishonour upon them that can be thought for by this act of theirs they seeme to dispute nay they do dispute their Parents Interest over them nay further the validity of the free Donation of Jehovah himselfe who hath as you have heard given Children to be under their command even in this particular to which we speake and these Miscreants these Rakehels say with those in Psal 2.3 Let us breake their bonds asunder and cast away their cords from us Secondly these undutifull Children do violate the seventh Commandement wherin God saith Thou shalt not commit Adultery Now this is a most undeniable truth that those who presume to step into the Marriage condition in a way point blanke to that which God hath ordained never lawfully enter into such a condition but such as having Parents living do Marry against their consent do step into that condition point blanke to that way which God hath ordained Therefore such as so marry never lawfully enter into that condition and if two be not lawfully Married they be not man and wife then what they are you may easily determine You may say they are a couple of uncleane persons or a Whoremonger and a Whore and so they will be till they labour to be humbled for their uncleane societies and for their disobedience against God and their Parents and have gained God and their Parents to be reconciled to them and till then I once more say they live in the continuall breach of the seventh Commandement Lastly They transgress against the eighth Commandement for therein God saith Thou shalt not steale Now such as marry against the consent of Parents are the greatest thieves in the world You may remember that I told you that Children are dearer to their Parents than all that besides they enjoy and that they have bought them very deare Now if thieves breake the eighth Commandement then surely these that thus marry against their Parents consent being thieves do breake that Commandement How fearefull then is the condition of such persons as they The Apostle James saith that he which keeps the whole Law and failes but in one point is guilty of all Jam. 2.10 How much more guilty must such be who faile in three points as those hot-spurs do who make more haste than good speed Sampson had better learned and did better practice He tels his Father and Mother that he had seen a woman in Timnah that pleased him well Judg. 14.2 then in ver 3. he pleads for their consent Now untill he had gotten the consent of his Parents he would not marry then in ver 10. his Father and Mother went down with him to Timnah to his Marriage Mind well the carriage of Abrahams Servant which was made use of before on another occasion Gen. 24.33 and so forward Therefore when thou dost desire to marry and hast spied out a person whom thou canst love then first acquaint thy own Parents with it seek their counsell and consent which when thou hast obtained breake the matter to the Maids friends but step not one foot further till Parents are satisfied on both sides and then do as God and friends shall direct I shall wade no further in this third meanes but come to the last Yet before we proceed thereto here fals in a case of Conscience arising from the last particular namely whether a man may under no consideration bestow himselfe in Marriage against the consent of parents This is necessary to be spoken to in this place for some poor soul may object and say I apprehend in my selfe a cleare Call to change my single condition and to enjoy the Marriage estate for I find my selfe in some poore measure fit for it God having graciously bestowed on me those gifts before spoken of in some degrees and this I am sure of I am unfit for the single life having not the gift of Chastity but upon all occasions burn with fleshly concupiscence to Gods dishonour and to the wasting of all my spirituall comforts I have used those meanes you mention to obtaine a good wife and by Gods gracious providence I have found out a maid largely qualified to make a good wife and now the obstacle is my Parents

selfe Yet God can make this foresaid Babe a fruitfull Mother of many Children in this our Israel who may both blesse the Lord for it and for your selfe worthy Madam for accepting and to your power Patronizing the same Now our Lord Jesus Christ himselfe and God even our Father which hath loved us and hath given us everlasting Consolation and good hope through Grace comfort your heart and establish you in every good word and worke Thus prayeth he who is Madam Your Ladiships humble most affectionate and much more obliged servant till death THOMAS HILDER TO THE Impartiall and Judicious READER Christian Friend OF all the Creatures which Almighty God hath Created in this nethermost World he hath been pleased in the riches of his mercy to deale most liberally with man for God hath not only given him a being as he hath to all other Creatures but also hath provided all things to sweeten and make his being here very comfortable And amongst variety of choice enjoyments he hath Created for Man a meet helper which is the most precious piece of all others And indeed the Quintiscence Creame and Crowne of all Temporall felicity Which blessing God hath united to Man and made one with him by Matrimoniall Conjunction And hath appointed and sanctified meanes for his entring into and enjoying of this happy and also honourable Estate But by reason of that blindnesse and ignorance that is in man since the Fall and by reason of the corruption and pravity of his nature he doth by indirect waies and meanes seeke the enjoyment of this happinesse yet fals not only short of it but implungeth himselfe into a dead sea and Gulph of all Crosses Discomforts troubles vexations Turbulent cares distractions and griefes of all kinds And passeth through this his Pilgrimage with plenty of teares sighs sobs and extreame dolorous complaints With wearings wastings and pinings away finding life it self a burden untill he come to be dissolved into the dust of death Now deare Christian the meanes before hinted at to enjoy the happiness first mentioned and to avoid the miseries last exprest these poore weake and perhaps contemptible Lines ensuing will point out though with a palsie hand But thou must not despise the day of small things Zach. 4.10 The lesse of the Creature the more of God Gods strength is made perfect in our weaknesse 2 Cor. 12.9 The excellency of power is still in God and not in us 2 Cor. 4.7 This Treatise was at first intended next the glory of God wholly for the generall good But now in my promulgating of it I do in a speciall manner reflect upon my Children they being in their non-age But they must not nor can they monopolize it to themselves but it will present it self to thy view and tender some service to thee if thou please to accept of it Courteous Reader I can easily believe there will be divers circumstantiall if not some substantiall Errata's in it and some persons of dainty palats will seek to multiplie them be they more or lesse I know where the pricking thorne puts out but it must not be pull'd in for it will disturbe none but the gauled conscience Truly I can averre and God doth know it true that during almost all the time I was writing this out from a former Copy I could neither stand sit or lye but in very great paine which caused much distraction of mind But gentle Reader my Request to thee is that what thou findest good in these lines following blesse the Lord for Secondly live up to the life of it in thy practice But what resembles thy worthlesse Author and speakes him indigent not only in the Concrete but almost in the Abstract and yet no Hyperbole that I beseech thee to make as candid a construction of as thou canst and so to cast the mantle of thy love upon it and censure not but pitty and pray for him who desires to pray for thee and should rejoice to blesse God for any benefit that may accrew unto thee by these ensuing Lines Farewell Thine in the Lord Jesus THOMAS HILDER IF thou desire good daies to see Here in this life of Ceare Then seeke a Wife that doth with thee The Lord desire to feare For she 'l endeavour all her daies That here she doth remaine To quicken thee in holy waies That Heaven thou maiest attaine And she will still ambitious be That thou maiest comfort find And in this life good daies maiest see According to thy mind But such a Wife as will regard Thy good still as she ought For to be found is very hard And seldome is she sought Wouldst thou this Jewell then obtaine Worth more than worldly Treasure And it enjoy as thy great gaine And therein take much pleasure Then unto God pray thou alone Who good Wives doth bestow Desiring him to give thee one That doth him truly know For therein comfort thou maiest have In midst of many losses As thou goest marching to thy grave Loaded with outward Crosses And if the Lord this gift thee give Then highly prize the same So long as thou one day dost live And ever praise his Name Conjugall Counsell OR Seasonable advice both to unmarried and married persons directing the first how to enter into the Marriage estate and the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life binds them to That God may have glory the Church edification and themselves and Families present and future comfort WHen the Omnipotent Immense All-powerfull and All-glorious Jehovah had made and perfected that super eminent structure of the Celestiall and Terrestriall world and all Creatures in generall contained in them Man only excepted the Lord did then consult with himselfe as we may say about making Man in his own Image and likenesse Gen. 1.26 which he accordingly did and therein stood the compleate felicity of man in a speciall and peculiar manner But in a second place man was made glorious though in a way of much subordination to his foresaid felicity in that God made him to be a Microcosmus viz. a little world or a lively Embleme of what was before created his body being Terrestriall and his soule the better part Celestiall Oh happy man had he continued in his Originall perfection Wherein we may observe the singular benevolence and beneficence of God to man But though these were transcendent degrees of mans happinesse yet this was not all for God provides a place for mans residence on Earth which was the most pleasant and fertile of the whole Creation here below and therefore might well be called Paradise whereinto God put the man not only to dresse the Garden but to enjoy all the fruit thereof only the Tree of the knowledge of good and evill excepted Gen. 2.15 16.17 But to consummate and compleate mans outward full and sweet enjoyments the Lord God resolves to make man a meet help because he saw it not good for

to love and good works She will be a meanes to help thee in the growth of grace here and so a meanes of thy happinesse hereafter Here are more flowers to adde to thy begun-Nosegay in the last end of Marriage bind them together and they will be very Odoriferous to please thy senses Thirdly thou hast need to make grace the Object of thy love in chusing a Wife as thou desirest thy love should hold out to the end For if thou make Riches the Object of thy love they may be lost they are subject to many casualties Riches have wings like an Eagle and may flye away Prov. 23.5 and when they are gone thy love will flye after If thou make beauty the Object of thy love that may vanish away for favour is deceitfull and beauty is vanity Prov. 31.30 Beauty may be taken away by sicknesse or by some accidentall blow in the face by losse of an Eye by a Canker in the Nose or some other meanes and if once gone love will go too If thou make Person the Object of thy love that may suffer much detriment crookednesse may grow in a body formerly straight such a comely body may come to want a Leg or an Arme which will be a blemish to it Now Person being defective love will be the same If thou make hope of Honour the Object of thy love Thy wives great Kindred may faile of power to advance thee nay of power to hold up themselves we want not plentifull experience of this Or they may be prejudiced against thee and frustrate thy expectations and make thee see too late that thou hast but built Castles in the Aire to depend on them so all hopes that way being lost thy love will be lost too Now when thy love hath fetcht its last gaspe it may be happy were it for thee in some sense if thou and thy love might be buried both in one grave for after love is once departed what will or can thy life be but a condition of griefe and heart-sorrow and great discontentment that thou shouldst have a wife whom thou canst take no pleasure in and wouldst with all thy heart part with and yet it may be thou shalt not part with her untill death cut thee off first But if thou make Grace the Object of thy love and withall art no whit mistaken but thou findest it to be in the heart of thy wife in deed and in truth Then as grace doth encrease so thy love will abound but grace cannot but encrease continually therefore love will multiply in thy heart exceedingly Now as thou desirest to be kept from Apostacy or falling from God and the waies of his grace And as thou desirest to be helped forward in all Christian Counsels and good waies And as thou dost desire to keep life in thy love and to encrease therein to thy own comfort and the comfort of thy wife so let it be thy care in the feare of God to looke to thy own heart that it deceive thee not but that thou dost indeed make Grace the Object of thy love in the choice of thy wife then thou maiest certainly expect by the blessing of God much comfort in such a Yoak-fellow in all thy wants of wealth or health of soule or body and mayest whilest thou enjoyest her begin to write encomiums of her and when she is dead Gen 35.19 20. then with Jacob set up a pillar upon her Grave and perhaps maiest truly say Many Daughters have done vertuously but thou excellest them all for favour is deceitfull and beauty is vaine but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the Gates Here we shall turne in and proceed no further in the amplification of the first inward qualification of a good wife The second qualification of a good wife In the second place the chiefe qualification of a good wife next saving Grace is sweet disposition of Nature that she be of a quiet and peaceable spirit for it is much to be bewailed that in divers men and women that we doubt not in the least measure but that they are very gracious and desire to prove their soules to God in all waies of holinesse yet are of bad Natures and themselves cannot but see it and I doubt not but they desire to bewaile it before God in secret and yet cannot attaine to have their Corruptions in this kind mortified in any comfortable way yet it must be granted that such persons are not many times comfortable Consorts And therefore thou that art to make choice of a wife hast cause enough to endeavour to avoid laying a Conjugall tye upon thy selfe to live and dye with such a woman though otherwise one of good parts If a woman be of churlish nature of cross dispositons in the abstract she will cast such a coole damp on her Husbands love as may not only chill but kill it whereby though she may be a sad sufferer her selfe she will abundantly prejudice her Husband in his comforts and may shorten his daies For a man cannot live that cannot love the love of any thing gives contentment to the mind to enjoy the same A crosse and tarte nature in a wife un-wifes her as I may say for she that is not a meet helper is either not a wife or else a very imperfect one for how can she be said to be a wife that is not a meet helper who is unfit for comfortable society but such a wife is as sharp and bitter touchy and tangue by nature will not ordinarily be sociable loving kind and amiable in her carriages and deportments to her Husband and doth it not concerne thee to avoid her in thy choice of a wife for such a woman as we speake of will not make a good Wife nor good Mother nor good Dame or Mistris she will not be good in any relation I meane in the latter part of this discourse where an untoward nature is predominant in a woman Solomon saith It is is better to dwell in a corner of the house top than with a brawling woman in a wide house Prov. 21.9 He also saith The contentions of a wife are a continuall dropping Pro. 19.13 A continuall dropping will weare wast and consume stone as observation will prove And truly this dropping from a contentious wife will weare waste and consume not only all the comforts that her Husband otherwise might have in her but his skin flesh bone marrow and vitall spirits and all in time The Apostle tels us that a meeke and quiet spirit in a woman is of great price with God 1 Pet. 3.4 And so it is doubtlesse with every rationall man therefore as thou wouldst avoid many inconveniences in the Marriage Estate and wear the comforts of it as a Crown of all temporall felicity So labour to gaine a woman of sweet naturall dispositions of a very Amiable and

of to be the first Commandement with promise Mal. 6.6 A son honoureth his Father If I be a Father where is my honour But how should this Honour and Reverence be exprest may some say I answer first in words Secondly in actions and gestures First in words Children must reverence their Parents by using few words in their Parents presence or hearing Silence for the generall well becomes the younger sort before the Elder but more properly Children before their Parents And when they speake to them they must make use of the choicest expression that may be to hold forth their dutifull respect by And for their Action too they must be full of Humility as rising up before them and standing in their presence if they expect it being uncovered so long as they think fit and making obeysance on all occasions by shewing all filiall and Child-like dispositions to them by harkening to all their grave Counsels and Admonitions with diligent attention Prov. 1.8 Chap. 5.1 As also by submitting and subjecting themselves to all their godly reprehensions and by treading in their religious steps and imitating their unblameable examples and by covering all their imperfections and weaknesses as Shem and Japhet did when their Father lay drunke and naked in his Tent. Solomon is a singular example of honouring his Mother in another kind 1 Kings 2.19 The second duty of Children to their Parents In the second place it is the duty of Children to obey their Parents in all things lawfull and that with all readinesse Children obey your Parents in the Lord Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord Col 3.20 Now this must be a cheerefull obedience without contending Isaac will submit to his Father though it be in matter of death Gen. 22 9 10. And so will the Daughter of Jephtha Judg. 11 39. The Rechabus obey Jonadab their Father in things that required a great deale of selfe-deniall Ier. 35.5 6 7. which the Lord rewards them for in ver 18 19. A Bishop must rule his own house well and have his Children in subjection 1 Tim. 3.4 Now subjection of all Children to Parents is as much a duty as it is in the children of the Ministers of the Gospell And of this obedience unto Parents we have an example beyond all presidents in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ of whom it is said he went down with his Parents to Nazareth and was subject to them Luk. 2.51 Children must not make their own wils a rule of their actions but the Commandements of God and the Precepts of their Parents that are not contrary to the revealed will of God they must also quietly submit to such correction as they shall think fit to inflict on them for their faults In the third and last place it is the duty of Children to their Parents to labour to provide safty for them in the times of danger The third duty of Children to their Parents and competent maintenance in their necessitous conditions to their utmost abilities for the first take a president from Rahab the Harlot which is laid down at large in Josh 2.12 13. where she doth indent with the Spies sent to view the land to save her Fathers house and to preserve her Father and her Mother c. And for the duty of Children to relieve their Parents in their want consider what the Apostle saith in 1 Tim. 5.4 That to requite our Parents is good and acceptable before God When Parents have been at great paines and charge to bring up their Children and then come to poverty which perhaps may be occasioned by such charge it is not only against grace but against good nature too to cast them off without due care to relieve them it was the pestilent doctrine of the Pharisees to maintaine that Children were discharged from their duty herein provided they did offer a gift at the Altar which was indeed but to fill their pouches Mar. 7.11 12 13. Which practice of theirs as well as their doctrine our Saviour there condemnes We may learne a better example from the practice of Ioseph when he was in prosperity and his Fathers house in want Gen. 47.11 12. For he nourished his Father and his whole Family in Ramases which was the most fertile place of all Egypt When Naomi returned very poore out of the Land of Moab into the Land of Israel Ruth 1.21 then her Daughter in Law wrought hard and tooke great paines to gaine provision for her maintenance God condemnes the formall fasts of the Children of Israel as for other things so for this that they did hide themselves from their own flesh Isa 58.6 7. Now Parents may be more truly said to be our own flesh than others in common can be said to be our Saviour in that place of Marke makes it one kind of honouring Parents to relieve them in their want and to honour our Parents you have it proved before to be a duty from children There be other duties which children owe unto their Parents but they may be included in these If these be conscientiously performed they will be all discharged The duties then which children owe unto their Parents which are obvious to your eye are first to reverence them Secondly to obey them Thirdly to labour to preserve them from danger and to maintaine them in their wants In the last place we are to proceed to discusse the duties which servants owe unto their Masters c. and then we shall draw to a conclusion of this poore Treatise and so leave all upon your hearts to practice in your lives The first duty that servants owe unto their Masters The first duty of servants to their Masters c. is the same that children owe to their Parents that is Honour and Reverence this duty all Inferiours owe to their Superiours and therefore it must be a duty here Now that it is so consider the fore quoted place Mal. 1.6 A son honoureth his Father and a Servant his Master If I be a Master saith God where is my feare or Reverence Implying that honour and reverence is a duty servants owe to their Masters and that they are obliged to the performance of it That place in 1 Tim. 6.1 is much to be observed for this purpose where the Apostle requires all servants that are under the yoke to count their own Masters worthy of all honour and then adds a reason for the same which is this That the name of God and his doctrine be not blasph●med Then it is very cleare that such servants as make no conscience to performe this duty of giving honour to their Masters do expose the name and word of eternall God to contempt and to be blasphemed and how shall such servants ever be able to answer for this sin of theirs before the great and all-powerfull God who is alwaies armed with divine vengeance to be powred down upon the heads and hearts of