all the world Turne country bankrupt I' mine owne towne vpo' the Mercat-day And be protested for my butter and egges To the last bodge of oates and bottle of hay Ere you shall leaue me I will breake my heart Coach and Coach-horses Lords and Ladies pack All my fresh ghests shall stinke I 'le pul my signe down Conuert mine Inne to an Almes-house or a Spittle For lazers or switch-sellers Turne it to An Academy o'rogues or gi' it away For a free-schoole to breed vp beggers in And send 'hem to the canting Vniuersities Before you leaue me Lov. Troth and I confesse I am loath mine host to leaue you your expressions Both take and hold me But in case I stay I must enioyne you and your whole family To priuacy and to conceale me For The secret is I would not willingly See or be seene to any of this ging Especially the Lady Hos. Braine o'man What monster is she or Cocatrice in veluet That kils thus Lov. O good words mine host She is A noble Lady great in blood and fortune Faire and a wit but of so bent a phant'sie As she thinks nought a happinesse but to haue A multitude of seruants and to get them Though she be very honest yet she venters Vpon these precipices that would make her Not seeme so to some prying narrow natures We call her Sir the Lady Frances Frampul Daughter and heire to the Lord Frampul Hos. Who He that did loue in Oxford first a student And after married with the daughter of Lo. Silly Hos. Right of whom the tale went to turne Puppet-mr Lov. And trauell with Yong Goose the Motion-man Hos. And lie and liue with the Gipsies halfe a yeare Together from his wife Lo. The very same The mad Lord Frampul And this same is his daughter But as cock-brain'd as ere the father was There were two of 'hem Frances and Laetitiae But Laetice was lost yong and as the rumor Flew then the mother vpon it lost her selfe A fond weake woman went away in a melancholy Because she brought him none but girles she thought Her husband lou'd her not And he as foolish Too late resenting the cause giu'n went after In quest of her and was not heard of since Hos. A strange diuision of a familie Lov. And scattered as i' the great confusion Hos. But yet the Lady th' heire enioyes the land Lov. And takes all lordly wayes how to consume it As nobly as she can if cloathes and feasting And the authoriz'd meanes of riot will doe it Ent. Fer. Host. She shewes her extract and I honor her for it Act. 1. Scene 6 Ferret Lovel Host Cicelie Your horses Sir are ready and the house Dis Lou. Pleas'd thou thinkst Fer. I cannot tel dischargd I 'am sure it is Lou. Charge it again good Ferret And make vnready the horses Thou knowst how Chalke and renew the rondels I am now Resolu'd to stay Fer. I easily thought so When you should heare what 's purpos'd L. What Fer. To throw The house out o' the windo Host. Braine o'man I shall ha' the worst o'th at will they not throw My houshold stuffe out first Cushions and Carpets Chaires stooles bedding is not their sport my ruine Lov. Feare not mine host I am not o' the fellowship Fer. I cannot see Sir how you will auoid it They know already all you are i' the house Lov. Who know F. The Lords they haue seene me enquir'd it Lov. Why were you seene Fer Because indeed I had No med'cine Sir to goe inuisible No Ferne-seed in my pocket Nor an Opal Wrapt in a Bay-leafe i' my left fist To charme their eyes with H. He dos giue you reasons As round as Giges ring which say the Ancients Was a hoop ring and that is round as a hoop Lov. You will ha' your Rebus still mine host Hos. I must Fer. My Lady too lookt out o' the windo cal'd me And see where Secretary Pru. comes from her Ent. Pru. Emploi'd vpon some Ambassy vnto you Host. I le meet her if she come vpon emploiment Faire Lady welcome as your host can make you Pru. Forbeare Sir I am first to haue mine audience Before the complement This gentleman Is my addresse to Host. And it is in state Pru. My Lady Sir as glad o' the encounter To finde a seruant here and such a seruant Whom she so values with her best respects Desires to be remembred and inuites Your noblenesse to be a part to day Of the society and mirth intended By her and the yong Lords your fellow-seruants Who are alike ambitious of enioying The faire request and to that end haue sent Me their imperfect Orator to obtaine it Which if I may they haue elected me And crown'd me with the title of a soueraigne Of the dayes sports deuised i' the Inne So you be pleas'd to adde your suffrage to it Lov. So I be pleas'd my gentle mistresse Prudence You cannot thinke me of that course condition T' enuy you any thing Host. That 's nobly say'd And like my ghest Lov. I gratulate your honor And should with cheare lay hold on any handle That could aduance it But for me to thinke I can be any rag or particle O' your Ladyes care more then to fill her list She being the Lady that professeth still To loue no soule or body but for endes Which are her sports And is not nice to speake this But doth proclame it in all companies Her Ladiship must pardon my weake counsels And weaker will if it decline t' obay her Pru. O master Louel you must not giue credit To all that Ladies publiquely professe Or talke o' th vollee vnto their seruants Their tongues and thoughts oft times lie far asunder Yet when they please they haue their cabinet-counsels And reserud thoughts and can retire themselues As well as others Host. I the subtlest of vs Al that is borne within a Ladies lips Pru. Is not the issue of their hearts mine host Hos. Or kisse or drinke afore me Pru. Stay excuse me Mine errand is not done Yet if her Ladyships Slighting or disesteeme Sir of your seruice Hath formerly begot any distaste Which I not know of here I vow vnto you Vpon a Chambermaids simplicity Reseruing still the honour of my Lady I will be bold to hold the glasse vp to her To shew her Ladyship where she hath err'd And how to tender satisfaction So you vouchsafe to proue but the dayes venter Ho. What say you Sir where are you are you within Lov. Yes I will waite vpon her and the company Hos. It is enough Queene Prudence I will bring him And o'th is kisse I long'd to kisse a Queene Lov. There is no life on earth but being in loue There are no studies no delights no businesse No entercourse or trade of sense or soule But what is loue I was the laziest creature The most vnprofitable signe of nothing The veriest drone and slept away my life Beyond the Dormouse till
Lat. Raise all the house in shout and laughter a boy Host. Stay what is here peace rascals stop your throats Act 5. Scene 5. Nurse To them That magot worme that insect O my child My daughter where 's that Fly I le fly in his face The vermin let me come to him Fly Why Nurse Shelee Nur. Hang thee thou Parasite thou sonne of crums And ortes thou hast vndone me and my child My daughter my deare daughter Ho. What meanes this Nur. O Sir my daughter my deare child is ruin'd By this your Fly here married in a stable And sold vnto a husband Host. Stint thy cry Harlot if that be all did'st thou not sell him To me for a boy and brought'st him in boyes rags Here to my doore to beg an almes of me Nur. I did good Mr and I craue your pardon But 't is my daughter and a girle Host. Why sayd'st thou It was a boy and sold'st him then to me With such entreaty for ten shillings Carlin Nur. Because you were a charitable man I heard good Mr and would breed him well I would ha' giu'n him you for nothing gladly Forgiue the lie o' my mouth it was to saue The fruit o' my wombe A parents needs are vrgent And few doe know that tyrant o're good natures But you relieu'd her and me too the Mother And tooke me into your house to be the nurse For which heauen heape all blessings on your head Whilst there can one be added Host. Sure thou speakst Quite like another creature then th' hast liu'd Here i' the house a Shelee-neen Thomas An Irish beggar Nur. So I am God helpe me Host. What art thou tell The match is a good match For ought I see ring the bels once a gaine Bea. Stint I say Fidlers Lad. No going off my Lord Bea. Nor comming on sweet Lady things thus standing Fly But what 's the haynousnesse of my offence Or the degrees of wrong you suffer'd by it In hauing your daughter match't thus happily Into a noble house a braue yong blood And a prime peere o' the Realme Bea. Was that your plot Fly Gi' me a cloak take her againe among you I le none of your light-Heart fosterlings no Inmates suppositions fruits of an Host's braine And his Flys hatching to be put vpon me There is a royall Court o' the Star-chamber Will scatter all these mists disperse these vapours And cleare the truth Let beggers match with beggers That shall decide it I will try it there Nur. Nay then my Lord It s not enough I see You are licentious but you will be wicked Yo' are not alone content to take my daughter Against the law but hauing taken her You would repudiate and cast her off Now at your pleasure like a beast of power Without all cause or colour of a cause That or a noble or an honest man Should dare t' except against her pouerty Is pouerty a vice Bea. Th' age counts it so Nur. God helpe your Lordship and your peeres that think so If any be if not God blesse them all And helpe the number o' the vertuous If pouerty be a crime You may obiect Our beggery to vs as an accident But neuer deeper no inherent basenesse And I must tell you now yong Lord of durt As an incensed mother she hath more And better blood running i'those small veines Then all the race of Beauforts haue in masse Though they distill their drops from the left rib Of Iohn O' Gaunt Host. Old mother o' records Thou know'st her pedegree then whose daughter is she Nur. The daughter and coheire to the Lord Frampull This Ladies sister Lad. Mine what is her name Nur. Laetitia Lad That was lost Nur. The true Latitia Lad. Sister O gladnesse Then you are our mother Nur. I am deare daughter Lad. On my knees I blesse The light I see you by Nur. And to the author Of that blest light I ope my other eye Which hath almost now seuen yeare beene shut Darke as my vow was neuer to see light Till such a light restor'd it as my children Or your deare father who I heare is not Bea. Giue me my wife I owne her now and will haue her Host. But you must aske my leaue first my yong Lord Leaue is but light Ferret Goe bolt your Master Here 's geare will startle him I cannot keepe The passion in me I am eene turn'd child And I must weepe Fly take away mine host My beard and cap here from me and fetch my Lord I am her father Sir and you shall now Aske my consent before you haue her Wife My deare and louing wife my honor'd wife Who here hath gain'd but I I am Lord Frampull The cause of all this trouble I am he Haue measur'd all the Shires of England ouer Wales and her mountaines seene those wilder nations Of people in the Peake and Lancashire Their Pipers Fidlers Rushers Puppet-masters Iuglers and Gipseys all the sorts of Canters And Colonies of beggars Tumblers Ape-carriers For to these sauages I was addicted To search their natures and make odde discoueries And here my wife like a she Mandeuile Ventred in disquisition after me Nur. I may looke vp admire I cannot speake Yet to my Lord Host. Take heart and breath recouer Thou hast recouer'd me who here had coffin'd My selfe aliue in a poore hostelry In pennance of my wrongs done vnto thee Whom I long since gaue lost Nur. So did I you Till stealing mine owne daughter from her sister I lighted on this errour hath cur'd all Bea. And in that cure include my trespasse Mother And Father for my wife Host. No the Star-chamber Bea. Away with that you sowre the sweetest lettice Was euer tasted Host. Gi' you ioy my Sonne Cast her not off againe O call me Father Lovel and this your Mother if you like But take your Mistris first my child I haue power To giue her now with her consent her sister Is giuen already to your brother Beaufort Lov. Is this a dreame now after my first sleepe Or are these phant'sies made i' the light Heart And sold i' the new Inne Host. Best goe to bed And dreame it ouer all Let 's all goe sleepe Each with his Turtle Fly prouide vs lodgings Get beds prepar'd yo' are master now o' the Inne The Lord o' the light Heart I giue it you Fly was my fellow Gipsey All my family Indeed were Gipseys Tapsters Ostlers Chamberlaines Reduced vessels of ciuility But here stands Pru neglected best deseruing Of all that are i' the house or i' my Heart Whom though I cannot helpe to a fit husband I le helpe to that will bring one a iust portion I haue two thousand pound in banke for Pru Call for it when she will Bea. And I as much Host. There 's somewhat yet foure thousand pound that 's better Then sounds the prouerbe foure bare legs in a bed Lov. Me and her mistresse she hath power to coyne Vp into what she will Lad.
preocupied in all his Customers best clothes by the footman her husband They are both condem'd and censur'd shee stript like a Doxey and sent home a foote In the interim the second houre goes on and the question at sute of the Lady Frampul is chang'd from loue to valour which ended he receiues his second kisse and by the rigor of the Soueraigne fals into a fit of melancholy worse or more desperate then the first The fifth and last Act is the Catastrophe or knitting vp of all where Fly brings word to the Host of the Lord Beauforts being married priuately in the new stable to the suppos'd Lady his sonne which the Host receiues as an omen of mirth But complaines that Lovel is gon to bed melancholique when Prudence appeares drest in the new suit applauded by her Lady and employd to retriue Louel The Host encounters them with this relation of L. Beauforts mariage which is seconded by the L. Latimer and all the seruants of the house In this while L. Beaufort comes in and professes it calls for his bed and bride-bowle to be made ready the Host forbids both shewes whom hee hath married and discouers him to be his sonne a boy The Lord Bridegrome confounded the Nurse enters like a franticke bed lem cries out on Flie sayes shee is vndone in her daughter who is confessed to be the Lord Frampuls child sister to the other Lady the Host to be their Father She his wife He finding his children bestows them one on Louel the other on the Lord Beaufort the Inne vpon Flie who had beene a Gipsey with him offers a portion with Prudence for her wit which is refused and she taken by the Lord Latimer to wife for the crowne of her vertue and goodnesse And all are contented The Scene BARNET The PERSONS of the PLAY With some short Characterisme of the chiefe Actors Good-stocke the Host playd well alias the Lord Frampul He pretends to be a Gentleman and a Scholer neglected by the times turnes Host and keepes an Inne the Signe of the light Heart in Barnet is supposed to haue one onely Sonne but is found to haue none but two Daughters Francis and Laetitia who was lost yong c. Louel A compleat Gentleman a Souldier and a Scholer is a melancholy Guest in the Inne first quarreld after much honor'd and belou'd by the Host He is knowne to haue beene Page to the old Lo. Beaufort follow'd him in the French warres after a companion of his studies and left Guardian to his sonne Hee is assisted in his loue to the Lady Frampul by the Host and the Chambermayd Prudence He was one that acted well too Ferret Who is also called Stote and Vermin is Lovels seruant a fellow of a quick nimble wit knowes the manners and affections of people and can make profitable and timely discoueries of them Franke Suppos'd a boy and the Hosts sonne borrowed to be drest for a Lady and set vp as a stale by Prudence to catch Beaufort or Latimer prooues to be Laetitia sister to Frances and Lord Frampuls yonger daughter stolne by a begger-woman shorne put into boyes apparrell sold to the Host and brought vp by him as his sonne Nurse A poore chare-woman in the Inne with one eye that tends the boy is thought the Irish begger that sold him but is truly the Lady Frampul who left her home melancholique and iealous that her Lord lou'd her not because she brought him none but daughters and liues vnknowne to her husband as he to her Frances Supposed the Lady Frampul being reputed his sole daughter and heire the Barony descending vpon her is a Lady of great fortunes and beauty but phantasticall thinks nothing a felicity but to haue a multitude of seruants and be call'd Mistresse by them comes to the Inne to be merry with a Chambermaid only and her Seruants her ghests c. Prudence The Chamber-maid is elected Soueraigne of the Sports in the Inne gouernes all commands and so orders as the Lord Latimer is exceedingly taken with her and takes her to his wife in conclusion Lord Latimer and Lord Beaufort are a paire of yong Lords seruants and ghests to the Lady Frampul but as Latimer fall's enamour'd of Prudence so doth Beaufort on the boy the Hosts sonne set vp for Laetitia the yonger sister which shee prooues to bee indeed Sir Glorious Tipto A Knight and Colonell hath the luck to thinke well of himselfe without a riuall talkes gloriously of any thing but very seldome is in the right He is the Ladies ghest and her seruant too but this day vtterly neglects his seruice or that him For he is so enamour'd on the Fly of the Inne and the Militia below stayres with Hodge Huffle and Bat Burst ghests that come in and Trundle Barnabe c. as no other society relisheth with him Fly Is the Parasite of the Inne visiter generall of the house one that had beene a strolling Gipsee but now is reclam'd to be Inflamer of the reckonings Peirce The Drawer knighted by the Colonel stil'd Sir Pierce and yong Anone one of the chiefe of the infantery Iordan The Chamberlaine Another of the Militia an officer commands the Tertia of the Beds Iug The Tapster a Through-fare of Newes Peck The Hostler Bat Burst A broken Citizen an in and in man Hodge Huffle A cheater his champion Nick Stuffe The Ladies Taylor Pinnacia Stuffe His wife Trundle A Coachman Barnabe A hir'd Coachman Staggers The Smith Only talk'd on Tree The Sadler The Prologue YOu are welcome welcome all to the new Inne Though the old house we hope our cheare will win Your acceptation we ha' the same Cooke Still and the fat who sayes you sha' not looke Long for your bill of fare but euery dish Be seru'd in i' the time and to your wish If any thing be set to a wrong taste 'T is not the meat there but the mouth 's displac'd Remoue but that sick palat all is well For this the secure dresser badd me tell Nothing more hurts iust meetings then a croud Or when the expectation 's growne too loud That the nice stomack would ha' this or that And being ask'd or vrg'd it knowes not what When sharpe or sweet haue beene too much a feast And both out liu'd the palate of the ghest Beware to bring such appetites to the stage They doe confesse a weake sick queasie age And a shrew'd grudging too of ignorance When clothes and faces 'boue the men aduance Heare for your health then But at any hand Before you iudge vouchsafe to vnderstand Concoct digest if then it doe not hit Some are in a consumption of wit Deepe he dares say he will not thinke that all For Hecticks are not epidemicall THE NEVV INNE Act 1. Scene 1. Host Ferret I Am not pleas'd indeed you are i' the right Nor is my house pleas'd if my signe could speake The signe o' the light Heart There you may read it So may your master too if
that the riddle Pru. We all look'd for a Lady A Dutchesse or a Countesse at the least Stu. She is my owne lawfully begotten wife In wedlocke We ha' beene coupled now seuen yeares Lad. And why thus mas'qd You like a footman ha And she your Countesse Pin. To make a foole of himselfe And of me too Stu. I pray thee Pinnace peace Pin. Nay it shall out since you haue cald me wife And openly dis-Ladied me though I am dis-Countess'd I am not yet dis-countenanc'd These shall see Hos silence Pi. It is a foolish tricke Madame he has For though he be your Taylour he is my beast I may be bold with him and tell his story When he makes any fine garment will fit me Or any rich thing that he thinkes of price Then must I put it on and be his Countesse Before he carry it home vnto the owners A coach is hir'd and foure horse he runnes In his veluet Iackat thus to Rumford Croyden Hounslow or Barnet the next bawdy road And takes me out carries me vp and throw's me Vpon a bed Lad. Peace thou immodest woman She glories in the brauery o' the vice Lat. T is a queint one Bea. A fine species Of fornicating with a mans owne wife Found out by what 's his name Lat. Mr Nic Stuffe Host. The very figure of preoccupation In all his customers best clothes Lat. He lies With his owne Succuba in all your names Bea. And all your credits Host. I and at all their costs Lat. This gown was then bespoken for the Soueraign Bea. I marry was it Lad. And a maine offence Committed 'gainst the soueraignty being not brought Home i' the time Beside the prophanation Which may call on the censure of the Court Host. Let him be blanketted Call vp the Quarter-master Deliuer him ore to Flie Stu. O good my Lord Host. Pillage the Pinnace Lad. Let his wife be stript Bea. Blow off her vpper deck Lat. Teare all her tackle Lad. Pluck the polluted robes ouer her eares Or cut them all to pieces make a fire o' them Pru. To rags and cinders burn th' idolatrous vestures Hos. Flie your fellowes see that the whole censure Be throughly executed Fly Wee l tosse him brauely Till the stuffe stinke againe Host. And send her home Diuested to her flanell in a cart Lat. And let her Footman beat the bason afore her Fli. The Court shall be obei'd Hos. Fly his officers Will doe it fiercely Stu. Mercifull queene Pru Pru. I cannot help you Bea. Go thy wayes Nic Stuffe Thou hast nickt it for a fashioner of Venery Lat. For his owne hell though he run ten mile for 't Pru. O here comes Lovel for his second houre Bea. And after him the tipe of Spanish valour Act 4. Scene 4. Lady Lovel Tipto Latimer Beaufort Pru. Franke Nurse Host Seruant what haue you there Lou. A meditation Or rather a vision Madam and of Beauty Our former subiect Lad. Pray you let vs heare it Lov. It was a beauty that I saw So pure so perfect as the frame Of all the vniuerse was lame To that one figure could I draw Or giue least line of it a law A skeine of silke without a knot A faire march made without a halt A curious forme without a fault A printed booke without a blot All beauty and without a spot Lad. They are gentle words and would deserue a note Set to 'hem as gentle Lov. I haue tri'd my skill To close the second houre if you will heare them My boy by that time will haue got it perfect Lad. Yes gentle seruant In what calme he speakes After this noise and tumult so vnmou'd With that serenity of countenance As if his thoughts did acquiesce in that Which is the obiect of the second houre And nothing else Pru. Well then summon the Court Lad. I haue a sute to the Soueraigne of loue If it may stand with the honour of the Court To change the question but from loue to valour To heare it said but what true valour is Which oft begets true loue Lat. It is a question Fit for the Court to take true knowledge of And hath my iust assent Pru. Content Bea. Content Fra. Content I am content giue him his oath Host. Herebert Lovel Thou shalt sweare vpon the testament of loue To make answer to this question propounded to thee by the Court What true valour is And therein to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth So help thee loue and thy bright sword at need Lov. So help me loue and my good sword at need It is the greatest vertue and the safety Of all mankinde the obiect of it is danger A certaine meane 'twixt feare and confidence No inconsiderate rashnesse or vaine appetite Of false encountring formidable things But a true science of distinguishing What 's good or euill It springs out of reason And tends to perfect honesty the scope Is alwayes honour and the publique good It is no valour for a priuate cause Bea. No not for reputation Lov That 's mans Idoll Set vp 'gainst God the maker of all lawes Who hath commanded vs we should not kill And yet we say we must for reputation What honest man can either feare his owne Or else will hurt anothers reputation Feare to doe base vnworthy things is valour If they be done to vs to suffer them Is valour too The office of a man That 's truly valiant is considerable Three wayes The first is in respect of matter Which still is danger in respect of forme Wherein he must preserue his dignity And in the end which must be euer lawfull Lat. But men when they are heated and in passion Cannot consider Lov. Then it is not valour I neuer thought an angry person valiant Vertue is neuer ayded by a vice What need is there of anger and of tumult When reason can doe the same things or more Bea. O yes 't is profitable and of vse It makes vs fierce and fit to vndertake Lov. Why so will drink make vs both bold and rash Or phrensie if you will doe these make valiant They are poore helps and vertue needs them not No man is valianter by being angry But he that could not valiant be without So that it comes not in the aid of vertue But in the stead of it Lat. He holds the right Lov. And 't is an odious kinde of remedy To owe our health to a disease Tip. If man Should follow the dictamen of his passion He could not scape Bea. To discompose himselfe Lat. According to Don Lewis Host. Or Caranza Lov. Good Colonel Glorious whilst we treat of valour Dismisse your selfe Lat. You are not concern'd Lov. Go drink And congregate the Hostlers and the Tapsters The vnder-officers o' your regiment Compose with them and be not angry valiant Tipto goes out Bea. How do's that differ from true valour Lov. Thus In the efficient or that which makes it For it proceeds from passion not
Indefinite Pru Lat. But I must doe the crowning act of bounty Host. What 's that my Lord Lat. Giue her my selfe By all the holy vowes of loue I doe Spare all your promis'd portions she is a dowry which here So all sufficient in her vertue and manners That fortune cannot adde to her Pru. My Lord Your praises are instructions to mine eares Whence you haue made your wife to liue your seruant Host. Lights get vs seuerall lights Lov. Stay let my Mrs But heare my vision sung my dreame of beauty Which I haue brought prepar'd to bid vs ioy And light vs all to bed 't will be instead Of ayring of the sheets with a sweet odour Host. 'T will be an incense to our sacrifice Of loue to night where I will woo afresh And like Mecaenas hauing but one wife I le marry her euery houre of life hereafter They goe out with a Song Epilogue PLayes in themselues haue neither hopes nor feares Their fate is only in their hearers eares If you expect more then you had to night The maker is sick and sad But doe him right He meant to please you for he sent things fit In all the numbers both of sense and wit If they ha' not miscarried if they haue All that his faint and faltring tongue doth craue Is that you not impute it to his braine That 's yet vnhurt although set round with paine It cannot long hold out All strength must yeeld Yet iudgement would the last be i the field With a true Poet He could haue hal'd in The drunkards and the noyses of the Inne In his last Act if he had thought it fit To vent you vapours in the place of wit But better 't was that they should sleepe or spew Then in the Scene to offend or him or you This he did thinke and this doe you forgiue When ere the carcasse dies this Art will liue And had he liu'd the care of King and Queene His Art in somthing more yet had beene seene But Maiors and Shriffes may yearely fill the stage A Kings or Poets birth doe aske an age Another Epilogue there was made for the Play in the Poets defence but the Play liu'd not in opinion to haue it spoken A Iouiall Host and Lord of the new Inne Clep't the light Heart with all that past therein Hath beene the subiect of our Play to night To giue the King and Queene and Court delight But then we meane the Court aboue the stayres And past the guard men that haue more of eares Then eyes to iudge vs Such as will not hisse Because the Chambermaid was named Cis We thinke it would haue seru'd our Scene as true If as it is at first we had call'd her Pru For any mystery we there haue found Or magick in the letters or the sound She only meant was for a girle of wit To whom her Lady did a Prouince fit Which she would haue discharg'd and done as well Had she beene christned Ioyce Grace Doll or Nell The iust indignation the Author tooke at the vulgar censure of his Play by some malicious spectators begat this following Ode to himselfe COme leaue the lothed stage And the more lothsome age Where pride and impudence in faction knit Vsurpe the chaire of wit Indicting and arraigning euery day Something they call a Play Let their fastidious vaine Commission of the braine Run on and rage sweat censure and condem'n They were not made for thee lesse thou for them Say that thou pour'st them wheat And they will acornes eat 'T were simple fury still thy selfe to waste On such as haue no taste To offer them a surfet of pure bread Whose appetites are dead No giue them graines their fill Huskes draffe to drinke and swill If they loue lees and leaue the lusty wine Enuy them not their palate's with the swine No doubt some mouldy tale Like Pericles and stale As the Shrieues custs and nasty as his fishscraps out euery dish Throwne forth and rak't into the common tub May keepe vp the Play-club There sweepings doe as well As the best order'd meale For who the relish of these ghests will fit Needs set them but the almes-basket of wit And much good do 't you then Braue plush and veluet-men Can feed on orts And safe in your stage-clothes Dare quit vpon your oathes The stagers and the stage-wrights too your peeres Of larding your large eares With their foule comick socks Wrought vpon twenty blocks Which if they are torne and turn'd patch't enough The gamesters share your guilt and you their stuffe Leaue things so prostitute And take the Alcaick Lute Or thine owne Horace or Anacreons Lyre Warme thee by Findares fire And though thy nerues be shrunke and blood be cold Ere yeares haue made thee old Strike that disdaine-full heate Throughout to their defeate As curious fooles and enuious of thy straine May blushing sweare no palsey 's in thy braine But when they heare thee sing The glories of thy King His zeale to God and his iust awe o're men They may blood shaken then Feele such a flesh-quake to possesse their powers As they shall cry like ours In sound of peace or warres No Harpe ere hit the starres In tuning forth the acts of his sweet raigne And raysing Charles his chariot 'boue his Waine The end