The mother is discontent / that all her sonnes loue shulde be tourned vnto her doughter in lawe and the wyfe can nat suffce any to beloued / but her selfe And there of ryfeth hate / enuye / and braulyng / as it were be twene two dogges / if a man stryke and sherysshe the one the other beynge bye Pythagoras scholers in olde tyme / and those that were of his secte / dyd nat reken frendship mynysshed / the mo that come vnto it but to be the more encreased and streÌ„gthed so the mother ought nat to thynke her selfe a mother euer the lesse / if her sonne marye a wyfe nor the wyfe ought to counte her selfe a wyfe the lesse / if she haue a mother in lawe but rather either of them ought to reconsile the man vnto the other / if any discorde chaunce betwene them Thou folishe mother in lawe / woldest thou nat haue thy sonne to loue his wyfe / whiche is a companyon frende inseparable Coudeste thou haue suffered nat to haue bene loued of thyne owne husbande What greatter mysery canst thou wisshe vnto thy sonne / than for to dwell with his wyfe with displeasure And thou folysshe doughter in lawe / woldeste nat thou haue thy husbande to loue his mother doest nat thou loue thy mother Thou shalt be loued of thy husbande as his felowe and dere mate and thy husbaÌ„de shal loue his mother / as vnto whom he is dounde / for his lyfe his norisshyng / and his bryngyng vp and therfore he oweth great loue kyndnes The daughter in lawe / knowynge that her husbaÌ„de and she is all one / shall reken her husbandes mother her owne / and shall loue her and reuerence her no lesse than her naturall mother / but be more seruiseable vnto her / that she maye bynde her the more to loue her She shall nat be displeased / if her husbande loue his mother / but rather and she be a good and a vertuous womaÌ„ / if she se hym nat behaue hym selfe vnto his mother accordynge lyke / she shall exhorte hym and desyre hym to behaue hym selfe as a son ought vnto his mother There is no mother in lawe so out of reason / but she wyll be the better content / if she knowe her doughter in lawe chaste / louyng to her husbaÌ„de Agrippina / nece vnto Augustus theÌ„perour by his doughter Iulia / whiche was maried vnto Germanicus / neuew vnto Liuia theÌ„presse / by her sonne Drusus / she was hated of Liuia / both as a doughter iÌ„ lawe / and as a stepdoughter / was of her owne nature bothe sharpe shrewed inough but she was so chaste of body / and so louyng vnto her husbande / that with those two vertues she altered the fyerce mynde of her mother in lawe Liuia / and tourned hit to good The doughters in lawe ought to nourisshe and sustayne theyr mothers in lawe in theyr necessite / none other wyse / thanne if they were theyr owne mothers Ruth / a Moabite borne / lefte her countre and all her kynne / for her mother in lawe / bycause she wolde nat leaue the olde myserable woman in sorowe and heuynes Therfore she bothe comforted her with wordes / nourisshed and founde her with her laboure / and in all conditioÌ„s fulfylled the roume of a doughter neither that same great charite of Ruth lacked rewarde For by the counsayle and helpe of her mother in lawe she gate Booz vnto her husbande / a great ryche man / and bare Isai the prophet / and was graundemother to kynge Dauid / of whose stocke our lorde Christe was borne Howe she shall lyue with her sonne or her doughter maryed / and howe with her sonnne in lawe and doughter in lawe The .xiiij. Chap. AS it is conuenient for the wyfe to apply her selfe vnto her husbandes discretion and wyll in all other thynges so whan any of her children shall be maryed / that both Aristotle in the seconde boke of house kepyng / teacheth / and reason byddeth / that the holle auctorite ouer the childreÌ„ shulde be gyuen to the fathers So by the lawes of Rome / chyldren were nat vnder the mothers rule / but the fathers and that so longe as he lyued / though they were maried / and of great age / excepte they were at theyr owne lybertie Nowe howe great power ought fathers to haue ouer theyr owne children / whaÌ„ god wolde the Ioseph shulde haue some auctorite ouer Christe Changell of our lorde / what tyme he shewed vnto Iosephe in his dreame / that that / whiche was in the wombe of Mary / was nat conceyued by mannes generation / but by the power and worke of the holy goost She shall sayd he / beare a sonne / thou shalte call his name Iesus He sayd nat / she shall beare the a sonne / as thuse is to say to the owne fathers For women beare children vnto theyr husbaÌ„des and yet he sayd / thou shalt call hym Wherby he signyfied the power and auctorite of hym / whiche was his father apparent / whan he hadde said vnto the virgin / His name shal be called Iesus A wyse woman shall nat pursue her doughter in lawe / nor wene that she wynneth loue with hatyng her / neyther of her nor of her sonne If she loue her / gyue her good couÌ„sayle / and teache her And if she do afore her suche thynges / as maye be example vnto her doughter in lawe / both of chastite and so bernes And if she make no discorde betwene the maried couples / but if any chaunce betwene them by reason of other / auoyde it / and reconsyle them agayne with all her myght Fynally / if she beare a motherly affectioÌ„ towarde her doughter in lawe / she shall lyghtely brynge to passe / that bothe her sonne shall be more bounde vnto her / and shall optayne great loue and reuerence of her doughter in lawe For howe moche more shall he loue her / of whom he hath ben borne / by whom he hath his wyfe / both more chaste and more sober / and better agreynge with hym / wherby he shall be bounde vnto her nat only for that benyfite / that she is his mother / but also bicause she hath be the instructrice of his wyfe / and causer of a great parte of his felicite And the doughter in lawe on her partie shall beare none other minde vnto her mother in lawe / than if she were her owne mother / by whom she hath â—othe gotten more knowlege / and is made better / hath her husbaÌ„de more pleasant louyÌ„g vnto her And in a sharpe a rygorous mother in lawe all thyng chauÌ„seth coÌ„trary As for that daughtÌ„ that is maryed / the mother shall nat desyre to haue so moche her owne / as whaÌ„ she was a mayde / but remeÌ„bre / that than she is skyfted in to another house kynred / to eÌ„crease that stocke but she may
that be good and caste your selfe in to perpetuall care For if thou be maryed to a fayre one / he wyll be proude of his person And if thou marye to a rythe one / his substance maketh hym stately And if thou be maried to one of great byrthe / his kynred exalteth his stomacke Nowe / if thou marye vnto one for his fayrenes / whiche hathe neyther reason / nor vertue / nor any droppe of wytte / as it is ofte proued by experience / as the wyse man of Grece sayd by these goodly Innes / where be foule hostesses by lyke reason thou myght marye an ymage or a paynted table Canst thou fynde in thy harte to be a foles wyfe / for his goodes Thanne mightest thou as well desyre to be maried to an ymage of golde Woldest thou be maried vnto a getylman borne / whiche is of fylthye and nought ye lyuynge / for his blode as well than thou myghteste those the ymage of Scipio or Cesar And in very dede it were better to be maried vnto an ymage / or a picture / or to a paynted table / than to be maryed to a vicious / or a folysshe / or a brayneles man Wherfore I may better compare them vnto asses / or swyne / lyons / or wolfes / than to mad mē And in tyme passed / I thought it had bene but a fable / that men telle / howe Palyphat the quene of Candy / dyd lye with a bulle and other as vngratious dedes as that whiche I haue harde say / other women haue done but nowe me thynketh them all lykely inough to be true / whan I se women can fynde in theyr hartes / to tomble and lye with vicious and fylthy mē / and dronkerdes / and braulers / and dawysshe / brayneles / cruell murderars For what difference is betwene them and asses / swyne / bores / bulles / or beares What madnes is it to haue delyte in suche men / and to flee and eschewe wyse men / as Plutarke the philosopher sayth / flee honeste men and good men / as warely as they wolde flee from venomous bestis Wherfore it was well and aptly spoken / that a countrey man of myne sayde / that the nature of women was in chosynge mē / lyke vnto the female wolues whiche amonge a great sorte of males / take the fouleste and worste fauored but men neuer caste any fauoure to a woman / but for some good propretie / either of substāce / person / or witte And women many tymes loue some men / bycause there is nothynge in them worthye to be beloued ▪ wherby they declare the more playnly / that they go without reason whiche thynge I say by some that haue nothynge a do with theyr reason / but all gyuen and applied vnto their bodye Agaynst whom I haue spoken sharpely / bicause they dote / and fonde good yonge men / and brynge them to fylthynes and foly / whan they wolde fayne please the women / and se they can nat / excepte they go wyde from all conditions perteynynge vnto men For lyke as childrē / whiche be gyuē all vnto sporte and playe / neither haue discretion for lacke of age to comprehende any depe matter / haue onely in pryce and regarde those / that can hādle theyr sportes and pastymes the moste aptly so women set all vpon pleasures / and volupties / wantonnes / and foly / thynke no man wyse / but those that can well conuey suche matters and what so euer perteyneth to wytte sadnes / they counte foly So their discretion is blynded so sore / that they loue / estyme and set by foles / and coūte them for great wyse men abhorre them / that be wyse in dede / hate dispyse / and lothe them / and take them for foles in lyke maner as folkes that be sicke of a great agewe / wene that swete meate is bytter and as sowes haue more delice in myre and durte than in swete flowres What hope shall we haue of them / that haue so feble discretion and so corrupted For maydes that desyre and wysshe for suche husbande 's / in whom be the externall gyftes of fortune / whiche the people calle good / nor haue no respecte vnto thyn warde goodnes / they be worthy to fele perpetuall sorowe / and to be punysshed for theyr errour / so longe as they lyue bicause they dispise that / that is the more noble and excellent in dede / in cōparison of that / whiche is more vyle lesse worth O folysshe mayde / whiche haddest leauer haue cōtynuall sorowe in golde and sylke / than haue pleasure in wollen cloth whiche had leauer be hated beaten in rayment of purple and ryche colour / thā beloued and set by in a course garment of meane colour If thou haddest leauer haue that other / take that thou haste chosen / nor be nat discontent with that / whiche thou hast wyrtyngly takē with thyn owne hādes More ouer / we haue harde tell of some so folisshe husbandes / that they haue kylled theyr wyues / as Iustina a mayde of Rome / borne of noble blode / whom her father mother maried vnto a yonge mā of great possessions / but of smale discretion and witte whiche whā he sawe his wyues whyte necke / as she was stowpyng to vnlose her shone / fell streight in to a suspection and ielosye ouer her / bycause of her beautie with a sworde cutte her necke in sunder of whom was made this epitaphie folowynge My cruell husbande to deth hath de done And with a sworde my necke in sunde cutte As I was stowpynge to vntye my shoone And to pulle out my praty fote And that besyde the bedde / where I was layde With hym nat long before O harde cruell mȳde In that same place / where as he had hadde My mayden heed / to shewe hym so vnkynde Yet I neuer offended / wherfore I ought to dye All myghty god to recorde I take And loo nowe here-slayne I lye Thus pleased fortune myne ende to make But fathers all example take by me Iustina / as warely as you can If ye loue your doughter tenderly That you ne marye her to a folisshe man Fathers and mothers whiche marye theyr children vnto good and vertuous mates / do nat onely prouyde well for them / but also for them selfe For they get them suche sonnes daughters in lawe / that shall be socoure and ayde vnto them in theyr olde age And if they be noughtys vngratious / they prouide them of enemyes Nowe of the sonne in lawe / we haue an example in the gospell For saint Peters mother in lawe / whā she lay sicke of great ague / was made holle of our lorde / at thin-stance of her son in lawe Suche it was to haue so good a sonne in lawe / that Christ disdayned nat to take vnto his disciple And of the doughter in lawe / we rede an
and course vnto myn olde age For though I scape the punysshement of men / at this present tyme yet shall I nat scape the handes of almighty god / neither quicke nor deade Wherfore I will do as is be comyng for myne age / dye boldly / and leaue an example of noble stomacke vnto yonge men / whan I shall take an honest dethe with a redy and bolde minde / for the most holy and vertuous lawes As sone as this was sayd / he was streight caried vnto executiō / and they that ledde hym / whiche were more fauorable to hym before / were than displeased / for the wordes that he hadde spoken / whiche they thought that he had sayd of p̄sumtion / but whā he was nygh beaten to deathe / he tried out said Lorde thou that haste holye knowlege / thou knowest playnly / that whan I might haue bene deliuered from deth / yet I suffre harde paynes of my body I suffre them gladly with all myn harte / for dreade of the. And so he departed awaye / leauynge a memoriall of his dethe / for an example of vertue and boldenes / nat onely vnto yonge men / but vnto all his nation Therfore the sōnes shulde be enformed and taught with examble of theyr father Neither ther ought any thyng to be shewed vnto them / that maye be tourned lyghtely vnto vice / lest they tourne it more lyghtely / both by the reason of theyr owne ignorance / and by the reason of mannes nature / whiche is inclyned vnto the wors Our lorde punysshed Hely / the iudge and bisshop of Israell / nat bycause he gaue any yll example vnto his sonnes Ophin and Phinees / but bycause he dyd nat punysshe his yll and vngratious sonnes Therfore he perysshed with a fall out of his chayre / and the heritage of his benifice was gyuen awaye vnto another kynred Nowe howe moche more greuous vengeaunce wyll he take vpon suche fathers / as teache theyr children either by counsayle / or by theyr example / to lyue vngratiously and seynge that the punysshement of the sonnes whiche were adulterars / redounded vnto the father / bycause he dyd nat prohibet them / as moche as lay in hym What shall he do to suche fathers / that excite and moue theyr children vnto lechery / pleasures / vngratious acces / either with wordes / orels with dedes And on the other syde / of the woman that accustonies her children vnto vertue / the maister of the pagannes saynt Paule / speaketh in this maner The woman hath gone out of the waye by transgressyon / howe be hit she shall be saued by bryngynge for the of children / if she continewe in faithe / charite / and holynes with chastite Of twyse maryed women / and of stepmothers The .xij. Chap. SVche as marye agayne / after the dethe of theyr fyrste husbandes / besyde all that we haue write here before / muste be warned this thynge / to take hede / lest they displease theyr husbandes / whiche they haue / with ouer moche rehersyng of theyr fyrst husbandes The conditiō of the worlde is suche / that euer folkes reken thynges past better than thynges that be present the cause why is / bicause no felicite is so great / but it hath moche displeasure and bytternes myngled with it whiche so longe as it is p̄sent / greueth vs fore but whā it is ones gone / it leaueth no great felynge of it selfe behynde it and for that cause we seme the lesse troubled with sorowes paste / thā with sorowes present Also age rounneth on a pace / whiche may euery day wors than other suffre displeasure / is more feble to sustayne casualties chaunsynge More ouer the remembraunce of the fourther and more lustye age / and as it were a comparyson of hit with the more paynfull age / causeth great werynes of the present state / and longynge for that whiche is past But Solomon wolde nat haue suche thoughtes to come in to the mynde of a wise man / for to reken the yeres past better than the yeres present Neither a wyse woman oughte to counte or reken her husbande / whiche is deade / better thā hym / whiche she hath on lyue For they be ofte disceyued in this poynte / bycause / if any thyng dislyke them in theyr husbāde / whom they haue / than call they to remembraunce only suche poyntes as pleased them in theyr fyrst husbādes And that thyng they do the more spiteously / if theyr present husbande discontent their mynde in those thynges / wherin their fyrst husbandes dyd them pleasure / than without all consyderation of other thynges / they compare theyr husbādes together onely in that and there vpon ryseth payne / whynynge / and troublous wordes / agayne theyr husbandes And whyles they bewayle complayne the mys of theyr deade husbande / they kepe nother As for stepmothers they haue an yll name / as malicious towarde theyr husbādes chyldrē of the whiche thyng there be many examples in memorye Therfore women muste be warned ofte to rule their owne braydes and fantasyes of mynde for there of cometh the fountayne and begynnyng of all both ill and good And if thou suffce thy braydes to rule the / they wyll brynge vpon the a great noumber of troubles / and myseryres / which afterwardes thou shalte nat lyghtely shake of But if thou rule them / thanne shalte thou lyue holly and fortunatly And that thynge thou shalte optayne / if thou wylte study diligently / whyles thy mynde is at rest and quietnes / howe thou mayste behaue thy selfe / whan causes of motion and trouble come vpō the. Therfore stepmothers be nat rough and vnreasonable / sauynge suche / whose passions and braydes of mynde playeth the tyrātes ouer them and they do nat rule theyr braydes / but folowe serue them For she that is ledde with discretion / reason / and cōsyderation / shall rekē her selfe her husbāde all one And therfore she shall coūte both his childrē hers comen to them both For if that frendship make all thing comen amonge frendes / in so moche that many haue loued and fauoredde theyr frēdes children as theyr owne / howe moche more abundantly and perfetly ought wedlocke to cause the same / whiche is the hyghest degre / nat only of all frendshippes / but also of all bloode and kynred Moreouer / she ought to haue compassyō of theyr tender and weake age / in remembraunce of her owne For if she haue children / she shall loue others to remembrynge that the chaunce of the worlde is in difference / and that her chyldren shal fynde suche fauoure of other folkes / whether she dye or lyue / as she hath shewed to other folkes children And in dede a good woman wyll be vnto her husbandes chyldren that / whiche she maye here them cal her so oftē / that is mother For what woman is so farre out of all humanyte
he was all thinge to al men to th entent that he might wynne them to Christe also putteth in his owne laudie prayse the busyues of all churches so he / writȳng to the Corinthies / saythe on this maner Let syngle folkes applye them selfe to the busynes of our lorde / howe they may please hym and let maried folkes take hede of worldlye matters / howe they maye please and content theyr spouses For hit is conuenient / that the wyfe be all at her husbandes wyll / and that a syngle woman gyue her selfe hollye to Iesu Christe / whiche is spouse of all good and vertuous woman Therfore thā let passe all that trȳmyng and arayeng of her body / whiche whan her husbāde lyued / might seme to be done for his pleasure but whan he is deed / all her lyfe and all her apparell muste be disposed and ordered after his will / that is successour vnto her husbande / that is immortall god vnto mortall man Therfore must only the mynde be pyked and made gaye for that only is it that Christe marieth / and in the whiche Christe resteth and deliteth But those that intēde to mary / tyre tryme vp them selfe / and that that I haue sayd before of maydes / may be applyed to this place yet moche lesse is becomynge for a wydowe to garnisshe vp and paynte her selfe whiche shulde nat only seke for no bargayne / but rather refuse them offered neither take any offers / but fore agaynst her wyll / and compelled to the secōde maryage / if she be a good woman Howe be hit in a mayde goodly arayment maye be more suffered / but in a wydowe it is to be discōmēded For what bodye wolde nat abhorte her / that after her fyrste husbandes death / sheweth her selfe to longe after an other / and casteth away her spouse Christ / and marieth the deuyll fyrst / fynst man / beyng bothe wydowe / wyfe / adulterar But they haue bothe a more easy state and cōdition / more ouer better / that shewe theyr wydo wheed in theyr clot hynge / and behauyng of theyr body maners For they that be neuer so vngratious / yet haue a fauour to them that be good and honest and by suche tokēs as they se in them / cast / if they shulde marie with them / and chaunce to die afore them / what maner of wydowe they shulde leaue behynde them For Iensure you / there is no husbāde / that wolde nat haue his dethe mourned of his wyfe / and be hym selfe desired of her / and myssed and seyng that we haue suche preceptes for maryed folkes / bothe of philosophers / and the apostles / what shulde we thynke that theyr iudgement was of wydowes By whom the apostle Paule wryteth to Timothy on this maner A very wydowe and desolate woman trusteth in god / and is in prayer day night / and she that is delicate and easefull / is deed / ye beyng on lyue Therfore byd them kepe them from blame For they seme to lyue in the syght of those that se them eate and drynke / and go / and speake / and do other workes of lyfe But and one coulde perse with his syght in to them / or entre with in the secretes of their myndes thoughtes / he shulde se that poure synfull soule / howe it is put from god / and spoyled and depriued of his lyfe Thus saynt Paule sayth / Thus saint Hieronyme / Thus saint Ambrose / Thus saynt Augustyne / Thus al sayntes and holy men / with one voyce and opinion say / That wepynge / and mournyng / solytarines / and fastyng / be the most precious doures and ornamētes of a wydowe Moreouer / what feast is / what playes and daunces a wydowe shulde vse / saynt Paule doth shewe / whan he byddeth her be in prayer day and nyght and so whan her mortall husbande is deed / she myght be at more lyberte with the immortal / and more by leasure / and ofter talke with hym / and more pleasantlye / yea and to saye more playnly / a wydowe ought to pray more intētyfely and ofter / and faste longer / and be moche at masse and preachyng / and rede more effectually / occupie her selfe in the contēplation of those thȳges / that may mende her lyuyng and maners Anna / the doughter of Phanuell / commen of the tribe of Aser / whiche lyued with her husbande seuen yere after her maryage / whan she had bene wydowe fourscore yere and foure / our lorde Christe founde her in the temple / out of the whiche she had neuer departed / but euer in fastyng and prayer day and nyght And in dede I wolde haue greatter vertue and perfection in a wydowe / than in a wyfe For the wyfe must apply her selfe to the wyll of her mortal husbande / to whom she is maryed / but the wydowe hath taken Christe to her husbande immortall Wherfore it is reason / that all thyng be more excellent and accordyng for suche a spouse / and wordes more sadde and sober For the communycation of euerye bodye is lyghtly a glasse and a myrrour of the mynde / and conditions of them For hit is an olde prouerbe Suthe as the lyfe is / suche is the cōmunication And foule and vnclene speche hurteth the mynde Ill speche corrupteth good conditions / as saynt Paule saythe After the wordes of the poet Menander / I wolde that a wydowe shulde nat only speke suche wordes / as myght shewe her selfe chast honest / but also that myght instrucre the herars with lernyng / and amende them with example of her lyuyng For mākynde hath speche to couple wysedome vertue to gether though it seme to do no more but vtter the thought of the mynde / yet doth it cause bothe lernynge vertue And though a woman be losed out of the bādes of worldly matrimony / let her yet nat thȳke that she may do what her lust For often tymes wydowes do shewe / what they haue bene in maryage / vnder the lybertie of wydoweheed / open and shewe that whiche they kepte in before for feare of theyr husbandes As byrdes / whan they be out of their cagis / by and by tourne to theyr olde conditions Lyke wyse many women shewe out at ones the vices that they dissembled so as they coulde whyle that theyr husbande 's lyued after that the lettes that they had of theyr husbandes be taken away For than shall hit be knowen / what nature or condition a woman is of / whan she may do what she wyll And as saynt Hieronyme sayth / she is chast in dede / that may do iuell and she lyste / wyll nat Therfore a woman had nede to worke more warely / whan bothe the disprayse of vices and the prayse of vertue is imputed to her selfe For as longe as her husbande lyued / he had a great parte of both In the wydowheed