thē the which worketh in vs a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them as that we haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things neither of a care to please them or of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willinglie without murmuring or grudging we be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by them being readie to do all lawfull thinges the which they command vs to refraine from those things the which they shall forbid vs. Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwaies mindful of benefits receiued and therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eie towards the partie by whome it hath bene pleasured that no discurtesie in any case bee offered or anie occasion ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnes And by this familiar descriptiō of these three heades whereof standeth chieflie the honor due vnto parentes we may clearlie see that those which in wedding tarie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in any awfull feare of them as whō they would be lorn to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all thinges to be gouerned and aduised by them or haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friendes or parents conceiue hardlie and vnkindlie of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their duety towardes their parentes no greefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart then this when they entangle themselues contrarie vnto their minde and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequentlie they doe not honour them wherby they incurre and runne into the curse of God the which must without true and vnfeigned repentance pull downe vpon the heades of themselues and their families the fearfull plagues of God His heauie and hot indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine The eight reason from the place of Paule Collos 3.20 S. Paule in his epistle vnto the collossians willeth children to bee obedient vnto their parents in al things giueth a reason therof saying For that is well pleasing vnto the Lord. Out of this place I reason after this maner to prooue that the good wil of the parents must be sought for obtained by the children in their contracts of mariage Whatsoeuer pleaseth God the same ought of al children to be practised so far foorth as it concerneth their place calling but to marie with thē cōsent of parents is a thing that pleaseth God therefore children in their mariages ought to haue the consent allowance of their parēts That euerie one in his calling ought to labor to do that thing which pleaseth God I take to be a case so cleare that no man doubteth of the same so that to go about to prooue this were as needles a thing as to labor to prooue that water is moist fire is hot or that it is day at high noone If any thing in the former reason be denied it wil be this that to mary with the consent of the parents pleaseth not God the which although it be as euident apparent as the former and cānot be denied of any that hath a forehead at al for who except he cary a face of brasse can be doubtfull of this that God is well pleased with the matching of children by the consent of their parents prouided alwaies that the mariage be in his feare the which caution is to be obserued through out this whole controuersie either handled alreadie or to be touched herafter yet for the sake of the simpler sort the which of ignorāce for the most part offend in this kinde of priuie contractes I will make this point plaine also after this maner All obedience vnto parents is wel pleasing to the Lord but for the sons to take wiues the daughters to take husbands with the liking and approouing of their fathers and mothers is an especiall obedience vnto them and such as all parentes wish euen with all their heart to haue in al their children performed towards them therefore to marie with the consent of parents is such an action wherewith God is well pleased The verie wordes of Paule where he saieth Children obey your parentes in all things doe sufficientlie warrant that all obedience vnto parentes is wel pleasing vnto God and the same is likewise auouched by Paule before in the epistle vnto the Ephesians where speaking of the dutie of children he hath these words Children obey your parents in the Lord Ephes 6.1 setting downe this reason for it is right And that fathers and mothers do hold themselues obeied when their children be ruled and ordered by them in the choise of their wiues and husbands is so euident that no man can gainsay it It must therefore needes follow that God is well pleased when they do get them yoakefellowes with the consent of their parents Nay as it is trueth not to bee doubted of that God his fauour and alowance goeth alwaies with those espousals or betrothings the which are ratified and established with the assent of those that bare vs and vnto whom we doe owe our being because that herein we do perform a chiefe point of obedience the which God looketh for and requireth at our hands so on the contrarie whē we shal ioin our selues in the band of matrimony make no reckoning of the authoritie of our superiours stepping in betweene God cannot behold those bridals with a cheerefull and a smyling countenance but is displeased and frowneth at the same because that we haue forgotten ourselues in a principall part of our child-like and dutiful obedience For if we must submit our selues and lay downe our handes vnder the feet of our parentes in all things yeelding our obedience in the verie smallest causes because God hath so commanded as the Apostle fully in so many wordes doth clearly teach vs then doubtles much more in the case of marying a matter of such force importance as whereupon for the most part dependeth our making or marring we ought willinglie to put our necks vnder the wholsome yoake of their fatherlie power vpon whose consent or refusall lieth the establishing or disanulling of our handfasting our selues without their agreement thereunto But it will here be replied The ninth reason together with the answering of an obiection concerning the restraint of childrens obedience that Paule himselfe in a kind of shew of some contrarietie restreineth the general obedience of children commanded in the third to the Collossians to to bee perfourmed vnto their parentes in all thinges and draweth the same into a more straight and narrowe compasse in his Epistle vnto the Ephesians where he will haue their dutie to bee no further yeelded vnto them then in the Lord and therefore vnlesse it may
children with all dutifull readines to stand vnto the same And taking the matter in hand after this reuereÌ„t christian order assure your selues that you haue performed a good work sin not for so Paule telleth you in plaine wordes where he saith Let him doe what he will he sinneth not and a litle after He that giueth her to marie meaning when the father by good triall had found out that otherwise she caÌ„not liue chast sinneth not For in speaking after this manner he hath no doubt respect vnto that course the which the Lord himselfe in his word hath set down the which also hath of the godlie bene practised euen from the beginning as by many examples anon shall be shewed There is therefore no danger of doing amisse and of sinning if that you behaue your selues after this sort in prouiding husbandes for your daughters and in bestowing of your sonnes in honest wedlock But rather on the contrary part you shal verie greatly transgresse and offend if ye shall neglect and forslowe your dutie in this behalfe And to all you that will bee counted godlie and dutifull children An earnest sute vnto all godly childsâ— let mee in all humble and louing manner make this earnest suite and waightie motion that you likewise hereafter will with all reuerence and aduisednesse consider what dutie you owe vnto God whose order this is that you shold be ruled by your parents in all thinges vnto whom he hath giuen such high soueraigne power and authoritie ouer you that he will haue euen those solemn vowes and promises that you haue made vnto himselfe to stoup and giue place vnto their consent and alowance striue no longer against God Num. 30. but in all willingnesse of minde put your neckes vnder his yoke enter not violentlie into your fathers right giue vnto them this honour to thinke that they by their wise donie can and for the louing care the which they beare towardes you will prouide better for you then you can doe for your selues remember that you are called after Christ by the glorious name of Christians who was obedient vnto his father euen vnto the death of the crosse let it therefore be no griefe vnto you to submit your selues vnto them in that same thing whereof you haue in the scriptures so manie notable and honourable presidentes if they shall be thought slacke in prouiding for them in due time labour by all modest meanes that by some friendes they be put in mind of their duetie since God hath commanded them to make choise for you bestow not your selues without their consent but humble your selues by deuout and faithfull praiers before the throne of the almighty that he in mercie will vouchsafe that your naturall parentes vnto whose power you are subiect setting aside all carnall and earthly respectes may in their choise for you haue his feare before their cies and that your selues may not bee caried away after your owne fancies but by the working of his holie spirite bee inwardlie and throughlie mooued with a godlie christian and pure loue to imbrace those which they shall haue chosen and prouided for you as the godlie children in former ages haue done before you And here I will alleadge The eleuenth reason from the common vse practise of the godlie in former times for an other reason the generall vse and practise of the godlie Fathers Patriarches and other holie men in prouiding of wiues for their sonnes and husbandes for their daughters together with the willing obedience of their children to accept and take them so prouided at their handes to serue to prooue that it was a common lawe among those that liued in those times for the sonnes and daughters in matrimonicall cases to be ordered and ruled by their fathers and mothers For the Lawyers doe holde that generall vse and custome doe make a law And what reason then is there to the contrary but that this the which hath so generallie and continuallie bene obserued should in like maner goe and be taken for a law the which it may bee thought that God euen hereby woulde induce and leade men vnto in that when hee first created all things and man last of all ouer whom by the priuiledges of creation he might worthilie claime the right and power of a father he doth not suffer him at his owne choise pleasure to take vnto himselfe the woman made of his side but brought her himselfe vnto him to be his wife by which his fact as I doe take it was notablie prefigured or foreshadowed out vnto vs God as a father prouideth a wife for Adam in Paradise that he would haue earthly fathers take that course in prouiding for their children in mariage the which he being our heauenlie father tooke for his eldest son Adam in paradise that is that they should make choise of wiues and husbandes for their sonnes and daughters the which they ought as willinglie to receiue at the handes of their fathers as Adam did his wife from the hand of God If any of those vnbribeled colts the which think they may at their owne pleasure make their own matches shal for the defence and maintenance of their disorder dealing in this behalfe replie and say that this example taken from the fact of God doth no more warrant this course the which so much disliketh them A trifling caâ—ill then it prooueth that a father ought in like sort to take a wife for his sonne out of the rib of a man and close vp the place againe with flesh as God did in Adam I answere that this is a friuolous or trifling cauill For as the making of Heuah of the rib of Adam was inimitable or vnfolowable being a token of God his omnipotencie and almightie power so the other being such as both without danger we may follow and also as hath bene plentifullie before shewed wee are commaunded to followe and now remaineth to make plaine that the godlie from time to time did follow might verie well be a foretoken vnto vs that God in the choise for our childreÌ„ would haue that we should do the like And this seemeth yet further hereby to be confirmed God giueth Christ his son to be the husband of his Church that when as our first parents through their disobedience and breach of God his commandement had worthelie deferued to bee turned headlong out of the earthlie paradise and had further through this their trasgession lost so farre as in them lay the in heritance of the kingdome of heauen both for themselues and also for all their posteritie when as nowe there remained no other way of recouering the same againe but onelie by the meanes of a mariage to be made by faith betweene himselfe and his posteritie and our Lord and Sauiour Iesus Christ the true and euer lasting sonne of God who knoweth not that this match before all times was concluded in the eternall and most wise counsaile of
plainlie be prooued that to haue the consent of parentes in mariage is a thing commanded by the word of God children are freed set at libertie from giuing obedience thereunto I answere that the one place is a good comment and exposition vnto the other so that this precept Children obey your parentes in all things ought worthelie to bee expounded by that other Children obey your parente in the Lord that is as I expound it letting goe all other interpretations in all such thinges as are not against the Lorde or which in the Scriptures are commaunded by the Lord. Which interpretation I doe the rather imbrace because I see it to bee warranted by the answere the which Peter Iohn in the Acts doe make vnto the chiefe rulers of the Synagogue whereby they excuse themselues for not obeying their inhibition forbidding them to preach any more in the name of Iesus saying Whether it be right in the sight of God to obey you rather them God iudge ye Whereby we are taught that not onelie in the commandements of our parentes but also of all other our superiours be they Kinges rulers or Magistrates of any other condition whatsoeuer all which are comprehended vnder the name of parentes that if they inioine vs to do any thing a gainst that obedience the which we owe vnto God we are not indeed violētlie to resist but we must with patience abide such punishment as they shall lay vpon vs rather then in obeying them we should disobey God vnto whom of good right wee are bound aboue and before al others be they of neuer so high and excellent places For there is a double obedience that is a certaine first chief most soueraign obediēce the which is proper and belongeth vnto God and a secundarie or inferiour obedience the which is due and appertaining vnto men A most geneneraral rule the which ad mitteth no exception So that in all our actions what soeuer belongeth vnto this life this is a most generall rule the which admitteth or receiueth none exception God must be obeied before or rather then men To returne therefore vnto the matter in hand the obedience of children to their parentes must I grant be limitted and bounded within the railes and listes of our obedience peculier vnto God that is to say Childrē are no further to obey the commandements of their parentes then so far foorth as the same be answerable and agreable vnto the commandements of God But this neuer a whit relieueth their bad and vnfollowable course the which in marriage will be their owne caruers and make their owne choise without the consent and allowing of their parents the which besides that hath hither to bene alleaged we wil yet further more largelie and more expreslie prooue out of the word of God and confirme that so it ought to be And now are we come indeed vnto a more higher and neerer point and the which will seeme stranger both vnto a great sort of parents and also serue verie stronglie to curbe the vnbrideled stay-les affections of an infinite number of inconsiderate and vnaduised youthes if by the warrant of the word of God they may be stayd when as it shall bee plainlie laid downe vnto them that not only they are in their handfastinges making sure in mariage to haue the consent of their fathers and mothers and that not seeking for the same they breake Gods commandement but also when it shall be shewed that choise of wiues and husbands for them is not in their power but in the authoritie of their fathers and that this both in plaine wordes is set downe in the scriptures and may moreouer be prooued by many examples as a generall vse and custome to haue bene obserued not onely of the godlier sort among the Iewes but also among the gentiles which had no other direction but the law of nature When I say it shall be euidentlie prooued that the choise in mariage of husbands and wiues for their sonnes and daughters was in the Parents and not in the children I thinke there will no question at all afterwards bee made whether the consent of the parents be requisite to be had or no in the mariage of their children forasmuch as if it be not in the children to make their owne choise much lesse may they marie without their parents liking Children in mariage may not make their owne choise therefore much lesse ought they marie without their friends consent for those that of themselues may not doe the lesser cannot be said to bee at their owne libetie to doe the greater but children in matters of mariage may not do the lesser that is make their owne choise which is a lesse thing then to marie without consent therefore it must of necessitie follow that in marying they must haue the consent of their parentes That children may not make their owne choise in marying I prooue after this maner No childe may take vpon him the duetie and office of his father To make choise of husbandes and wiues for sonnes daughters in mariage is the duetie and office of fathers therefore children in mariage may not make their owne choise and so consequently may not marie without the cōsent of their fathers The first that children may not take vpon thē the office of their fathers I take as graunted The second that parents ought to take wiues vnto their sonnes and husbandes vnto their daughters I will prooue by the commandement of God in sundrie places and by manifest reason drawen from those places And in this point If I bestow the more labour I shall the rather be borne withall because it is the most waightie part of al this discourse wherin if I shal happely or rather vnhappilie of anie be deemed tedious or ouerlong the profitablenesse of the matter if God giue grace that being of ignorance in the most neglected before it may now vpon knowledge be put in diligent practise hereafter shall easily I trust procure my pardon And my good hope and earnest prayer also is that this my trauaile shall not be in vaine but that al godlie fathers and mothers seeing clearly at the length what charge by God himselfe is laide vpon them will be carefull in time to make meete choise for their children that all dutifull and obedient sonnes and daughters vnderstanding that it is no deuise of man but the expresse commandemēt of God that their fathers mothers should prouide thē wiues husbands wil cease henceforth to take vpō them the office of their parentes and with all willingnes be contēt to stand in these cases to the choice of their elders which they shall make for thē in the feare of the Lord agreably vnto his word or at least wise in no case assure themselues vnlesse themselues be sure of their consent Now let vs see the places of Scripture by which it may appeare that the choise of husbands for the daughters and of
wiues for the sonnes is by the commandement of God himselfe laid vpon the parentes Places of scripture proouing that parēts ought to prouide wiues husbāds for their sonnes and daughters Deut. 7.3 concerning which matter in the booke of Deuteronomy we read thus Neither shatt thou make martages with thē he speaketh of the seuen nations the which by the Iewes were vtterly to bee rooted out neither giuethy daughter vnto his son nor take his daughter vnto thy sonne Here God giueth an especial charge vnto al fathers among the Iewish natiō that at no hand they should place in mariage citheir their sonnes with the daughters of those nations or take of their sons to be husbands for their daughters the which precept had bin in vain if they had not had this power and authoritie ouer their children or if their sons and daughters had bene at their own libertie in these cases to haue made their owne choise for they might easilie haue replied that their children in these pointes were not to be at their command and the children might haue complained of the hard dealing of their fathers in debarring thē their right in making their owne matches if any such priuiledge had belonged vnto them but the fathers neither taking any exception against God to excuse themselues from this dutie nor the sonnes pleading that by this lawe their interest shoulde be impeached doth argue sufficientlie that it was the ordinarie course of that time for parentes to giue their children in mariage and that their children were wel content with their fathers doings in this behalfe It will here peraduenture be saide That God by making this law Obiection setteth not downe an order the which he would haue generally to be obserued of the parentes in all matches of their children yea euen with their owne people and nation but onelie directeth them what they should doe concerning mariage of their sonnes and daughters among those seuen accursed nations this also to preuent a mischiefe least that by making and ioyning any such affinitie they might be pulled and drawen away from the true worship and seruice of God vnto idolatrie and superstition I answere Answere that God when he gaue vnto them this commandement had indeed an especiall regard to meet with before hand this danger of hauing his people caried by such matches to run a whoring after strange Goddes but this notwithstāding prooueth not that the fathers libertie to place his children in wedlock was not general amōg the people of his own nation but that hee had this authoritie to restraine them onelie from marying with that wicked people for feare of spirituall infection and pollution for that they had this power ouer their children in prouiding the marriage euen within their own land and limits of their owne countrie it is most clearlie to be seene in the last chapiter of the booke of Iudges where the Israelites hauing geuen that great and fearfull ouerthrowe vnto their brethren the Beniamites for their maintainance of that most horrible outrage in defiling in verie shamefull and beastlie maner of the Leuites concubine bound themselues by a solemne oth and sware saying None of vs shal giue his daghter vnto the Bentamits to wife This oath for my part reseruing to others their contrarie iudgment I doe not in anie case allowe but condemne the same as rash and vnaduised the which trulie repenting themselues of their rashnes they might with farre better conscience haue broken then kept and I could alleadge many reasons to confirme mine opinion but that is not appertaining to this present argument neither yet any part of my purpose in this place nor at this time onely I bring it to shew that hereby it is manifest that they made no doubt of their libertie in disposing of their children in mariage nor of their readines to obey them in that behalfe for if they might not ouerrule them in this matter or their children had bin to make their owne choise they had bene worthy of double blame both in taking vpon them the placing of their daughters and also in binding thēselues with an oth for the due execution and performance of that thing The rashness of the Israli◠taketh not a way their ri◠in making choise for th◠in their ma◠ages the which they had no right to lay vpō them And howsoeuer it be that this place may be thought of some not of force suffiicient to warrant this authoritie of Parentes in making the choise for their sonnes and daughters in their marriages because the oath was taken vnaduisedlie albeit that their offending in one thing be not plea good inough to disfrauchize them of their freedome and libertie in an other thing yet if the cause had bene good it shall appeare by an other place that they might by oath haue bound themselues for the not giuing of their daughters in mariage whereby may bee gathered that the choise in these cases lay in the parentes and not in their children for herein they fault in this action not that they seeke to keepe their right and authoritie in prouiding for their children but in that they make an oath both rash and full of crueltie against their brethren Now that the choise was in parents of prouiding wiues husbands for their children and in such sort that they might in honest godlie matches bind themselues so to do it is certaine by that which we reade in the last chapiter of the booke of Nehemiah who caused manie of them that were returned from the captiuitie not onely to take an oath that they would not take wiues vnto their sonnes nor husbands vnto their daughters of the strange nations there specified but also made them to curse and ban themselues and to wish heauie iudgmentes and plagues of God to fall vpon them if they should doe the contrarie That the mater may be out of all doubt controuersie it shall not grieue me to sette downe the wordes as they lie in the text Nehem. 13.23.24 In those daies also saieth Nehemiah I saw Iewes that maried wiues of Ashdod of Ammon and of Moah And their childrē spake halfe in the speech of Ashdod and could not speake in the Iewes language and according to the language of the one people and of the other people Then I reprooued thē and cursed them and smote certaine of thē pulled of their hair and took an oth of thē by God ye shall not giue your daughters vnto their sonnes neither shall you take of their daughters vnto your sonnes nor for your selues Whosoeuer shall with him selfe weigh and consider of this most excellent and worthy man of his true godlinesse and zeale in religion of his great care forwardnes to build vp the citie and Temple of his faithfulnes in his gouernment and rule ouer the people committed to his charge he may not go about to offer vnto him this iniurie insomuch as once dreaming that a man of his holines