preocupied in all his Customers best clothes by the footman her husband They are both condem'd and censur'd shee stript like a Doxey and sent home a foote In the interim the second houre goes on and the question at sute of the Lady Frampul is chang'd from loue to valour which ended he receiues his second kisse and by the rigor of the Soueraigne fals into a fit of melancholy worse or more desperate then the first The fifth and last Act is the Catastrophe or knitting vp of all where Fly brings word to the Host of the Lord Beauforts being married priuately in the new stable to the suppos'd Lady his sonne which the Host receiues as an omen of mirth But complaines that Lovel is gon to bed melancholique when Prudence appeares drest in the new suit applauded by her Lady and employd to retriue Louel The Host encounters them with this relation of L. Beauforts mariage which is seconded by the L. Latimer and all the seruants of the house In this while L. Beaufort comes in and professes it calls for his bed and bride-bowle to be made ready the Host forbids both shewes whom hee hath married and discouers him to be his sonne a boy The Lord Bridegrome confounded the Nurse enters like a franticke bed lem cries out on Flie sayes shee is vndone in her daughter who is confessed to be the Lord Frampuls child sister to the other Lady the Host to be their Father She his wife He finding his children bestows them one on Louel the other on the Lord Beaufort the Inne vpon Flie who had beene a Gipsey with him offers a portion with Prudence for her wit which is refused and she taken by the Lord Latimer to wife for the crowne of her vertue and goodnesse And all are contented The Scene BARNET The PERSONS of the PLAY With some short Characterisme of the chiefe Actors Good-stocke the Host playd well alias the Lord Frampul He pretends to be a Gentleman and a Scholer neglected by the times turnes Host and keepes an Inne the Signe of the light Heart in Barnet is supposed to haue one onely Sonne but is found to haue none but two Daughters Francis and Laetitia who was lost yong c. Louel A compleat Gentleman a Souldier and a Scholer is a melancholy Guest in the Inne first quarreld after much honor'd and belou'd by the Host He is knowne to haue beene Page to the old Lo. Beaufort follow'd him in the French warres after a companion of his studies and left Guardian to his sonne Hee is assisted in his loue to the Lady Frampul by the Host and the Chambermayd Prudence He was one that acted well too Ferret Who is also called Stote and Vermin is Lovels seruant a fellow of a quick nimble wit knowes the manners and affections of people and can make profitable and timely discoueries of them Franke Suppos'd a boy and the Hosts sonne borrowed to be drest for a Lady and set vp as a stale by Prudence to catch Beaufort or Latimer prooues to be Laetitia sister to Frances and Lord Frampuls yonger daughter stolne by a begger-woman shorne put into boyes apparrell sold to the Host and brought vp by him as his sonne Nurse A poore chare-woman in the Inne with one eye that tends the boy is thought the Irish begger that sold him but is truly the Lady Frampul who left her home melancholique and iealous that her Lord lou'd her not because she brought him none but daughters and liues vnknowne to her husband as he to her Frances Supposed the Lady Frampul being reputed his sole daughter and heire the Barony descending vpon her is a Lady of great fortunes and beauty but phantasticall thinks nothing a felicity but to haue a multitude of seruants and be call'd Mistresse by them comes to the Inne to be merry with a Chambermaid only and her Seruants her ghests c. Prudence The Chamber-maid is elected Soueraigne of the Sports in the Inne gouernes all commands and so orders as the Lord Latimer is exceedingly taken with her and takes her to his wife in conclusion Lord Latimer and Lord Beaufort are a paire of yong Lords seruants and ghests to the Lady Frampul but as Latimer fall's enamour'd of Prudence so doth Beaufort on the boy the Hosts sonne set vp for Laetitia the yonger sister which shee prooues to bee indeed Sir Glorious Tipto A Knight and Colonell hath the luck to thinke well of himselfe without a riuall talkes gloriously of any thing but very seldome is in the right He is the Ladies ghest and her seruant too but this day vtterly neglects his seruice or that him For he is so enamour'd on the Fly of the Inne and the Militia below stayres with Hodge Huffle and Bat Burst ghests that come in and Trundle Barnabe c. as no other society relisheth with him Fly Is the Parasite of the Inne visiter generall of the house one that had beene a strolling Gipsee but now is reclam'd to be Inflamer of the reckonings Peirce The Drawer knighted by the Colonel stil'd Sir Pierce and yong Anone one of the chiefe of the infantery Iordan The Chamberlaine Another of the Militia an officer commands the Tertia of the Beds Iug The Tapster a Through-fare of Newes Peck The Hostler Bat Burst A broken Citizen an in and in man Hodge Huffle A cheater his champion Nick Stuffe The Ladies Taylor Pinnacia Stuffe His wife Trundle A Coachman Barnabe A hir'd Coachman Staggers The Smith Only talk'd on Tree The Sadler The Prologue YOu are welcome welcome all to the new Inne Though the old house we hope our cheare will win Your acceptation we ha' the same Cooke Still and the fat who sayes you sha' not looke Long for your bill of fare but euery dish Be seru'd in i' the time and to your wish If any thing be set to a wrong taste 'T is not the meat there but the mouth 's displac'd Remoue but that sick palat all is well For this the secure dresser badd me tell Nothing more hurts iust meetings then a croud Or when the expectation 's growne too loud That the nice stomack would ha' this or that And being ask'd or vrg'd it knowes not what When sharpe or sweet haue beene too much a feast And both out liu'd the palate of the ghest Beware to bring such appetites to the stage They doe confesse a weake sick queasie age And a shrew'd grudging too of ignorance When clothes and faces 'boue the men aduance Heare for your health then But at any hand Before you iudge vouchsafe to vnderstand Concoct digest if then it doe not hit Some are in a consumption of wit Deepe he dares say he will not thinke that all For Hecticks are not epidemicall THE NEVV INNE Act 1. Scene 1. Host Ferret I Am not pleas'd indeed you are i' the right Nor is my house pleas'd if my signe could speake The signe o' the light Heart There you may read it So may your master too if
all the world Turne country bankrupt I' mine owne towne vpo' the Mercat-day And be protested for my butter and egges To the last bodge of oates and bottle of hay Ere you shall leaue me I will breake my heart Coach and Coach-horses Lords and Ladies pack All my fresh ghests shall stinke I 'le pul my signe down Conuert mine Inne to an Almes-house or a Spittle For lazers or switch-sellers Turne it to An Academy o'rogues or gi' it away For a free-schoole to breed vp beggers in And send 'hem to the canting Vniuersities Before you leaue me Lov. Troth and I confesse I am loath mine host to leaue you your expressions Both take and hold me But in case I stay I must enioyne you and your whole family To priuacy and to conceale me For The secret is I would not willingly See or be seene to any of this ging Especially the Lady Hos. Braine o'man What monster is she or Cocatrice in veluet That kils thus Lov. O good words mine host She is A noble Lady great in blood and fortune Faire and a wit but of so bent a phant'sie As she thinks nought a happinesse but to haue A multitude of seruants and to get them Though she be very honest yet she venters Vpon these precipices that would make her Not seeme so to some prying narrow natures We call her Sir the Lady Frances Frampul Daughter and heire to the Lord Frampul Hos. Who He that did loue in Oxford first a student And after married with the daughter of Lo. Silly Hos. Right of whom the tale went to turne Puppet-mr Lov. And trauell with Yong Goose the Motion-man Hos. And lie and liue with the Gipsies halfe a yeare Together from his wife Lo. The very same The mad Lord Frampul And this same is his daughter But as cock-brain'd as ere the father was There were two of 'hem Frances and Laetitiae But Laetice was lost yong and as the rumor Flew then the mother vpon it lost her selfe A fond weake woman went away in a melancholy Because she brought him none but girles she thought Her husband lou'd her not And he as foolish Too late resenting the cause giu'n went after In quest of her and was not heard of since Hos. A strange diuision of a familie Lov. And scattered as i' the great confusion Hos. But yet the Lady th' heire enioyes the land Lov. And takes all lordly wayes how to consume it As nobly as she can if cloathes and feasting And the authoriz'd meanes of riot will doe it Ent. Fer. Host. She shewes her extract and I honor her for it Act. 1. Scene 6 Ferret Lovel Host Cicelie Your horses Sir are ready and the house Dis Lou. Pleas'd thou thinkst Fer. I cannot tel dischargd I 'am sure it is Lou. Charge it again good Ferret And make vnready the horses Thou knowst how Chalke and renew the rondels I am now Resolu'd to stay Fer. I easily thought so When you should heare what 's purpos'd L. What Fer. To throw The house out o' the windo Host. Braine o'man I shall ha' the worst o'th at will they not throw My houshold stuffe out first Cushions and Carpets Chaires stooles bedding is not their sport my ruine Lov. Feare not mine host I am not o' the fellowship Fer. I cannot see Sir how you will auoid it They know already all you are i' the house Lov. Who know F. The Lords they haue seene me enquir'd it Lov. Why were you seene Fer Because indeed I had No med'cine Sir to goe inuisible No Ferne-seed in my pocket Nor an Opal Wrapt in a Bay-leafe i' my left fist To charme their eyes with H. He dos giue you reasons As round as Giges ring which say the Ancients Was a hoop ring and that is round as a hoop Lov. You will ha' your Rebus still mine host Hos. I must Fer. My Lady too lookt out o' the windo cal'd me And see where Secretary Pru. comes from her Ent. Pru. Emploi'd vpon some Ambassy vnto you Host. I le meet her if she come vpon emploiment Faire Lady welcome as your host can make you Pru. Forbeare Sir I am first to haue mine audience Before the complement This gentleman Is my addresse to Host. And it is in state Pru. My Lady Sir as glad o' the encounter To finde a seruant here and such a seruant Whom she so values with her best respects Desires to be remembred and inuites Your noblenesse to be a part to day Of the society and mirth intended By her and the yong Lords your fellow-seruants Who are alike ambitious of enioying The faire request and to that end haue sent Me their imperfect Orator to obtaine it Which if I may they haue elected me And crown'd me with the title of a soueraigne Of the dayes sports deuised i' the Inne So you be pleas'd to adde your suffrage to it Lov. So I be pleas'd my gentle mistresse Prudence You cannot thinke me of that course condition T' enuy you any thing Host. That 's nobly say'd And like my ghest Lov. I gratulate your honor And should with cheare lay hold on any handle That could aduance it But for me to thinke I can be any rag or particle O' your Ladyes care more then to fill her list She being the Lady that professeth still To loue no soule or body but for endes Which are her sports And is not nice to speake this But doth proclame it in all companies Her Ladiship must pardon my weake counsels And weaker will if it decline t' obay her Pru. O master Louel you must not giue credit To all that Ladies publiquely professe Or talke o' th vollee vnto their seruants Their tongues and thoughts oft times lie far asunder Yet when they please they haue their cabinet-counsels And reserud thoughts and can retire themselues As well as others Host. I the subtlest of vs Al that is borne within a Ladies lips Pru. Is not the issue of their hearts mine host Hos. Or kisse or drinke afore me Pru. Stay excuse me Mine errand is not done Yet if her Ladyships Slighting or disesteeme Sir of your seruice Hath formerly begot any distaste Which I not know of here I vow vnto you Vpon a Chambermaids simplicity Reseruing still the honour of my Lady I will be bold to hold the glasse vp to her To shew her Ladyship where she hath err'd And how to tender satisfaction So you vouchsafe to proue but the dayes venter Ho. What say you Sir where are you are you within Lov. Yes I will waite vpon her and the company Hos. It is enough Queene Prudence I will bring him And o'th is kisse I long'd to kisse a Queene Lov. There is no life on earth but being in loue There are no studies no delights no businesse No entercourse or trade of sense or soule But what is loue I was the laziest creature The most vnprofitable signe of nothing The veriest drone and slept away my life Beyond the Dormouse till
from iudgement Then brute beasts haue it wicked persons there It differs in the subiect in the forme 'T is carried rashly and with violence Then i' the end where it respects not truth Or publique honesty but mere reuenge Now confident and vndertaking valour Swayes from the true two other wayes as being A trust in our owne faculties skill or strength And not the right or conscience o' th' cause That workes it Then i' the end which is the victory And not the honour Bea. But the ignorant valour That knowes not why it undertakes but doth it T' escape the infamy merely Lov. Is worst of all That valour lies i' the eyes o' the lookers on And is cal'd valour with a witnesse Bea. Right Lov. The things true valour is exercis'd about Are pouerty restraint captiuity Banishment losse of children long disease The least is death Here valour is beheld Properly seene about these it is present Not triuiall things which but require our confidence And yet to those we must obiect our selues Only for honesty if any other Respect be mixt we quite put out her light And as all knowledge when it is remou'd Or separate from iustice is cal'd craft Rather then wisdome so a minde affecting Or vndertaking dangers for ambition Or any selfe pretext not for the publique Deserues the name of daring not of valour And ouer-daring is as great a vice As ouer-fearing Lat. Yes and often greater Lov. But as is not the mere punishment But cause that makes a martyr so it is not Fighting or dying but the manner of it Renders a man himselfe A valiant man Ought not to vndergoe or tempt a danger But worthily and by selected wayes He vndertakes with reason not by chance His valour is the salt to his other vertues They are all vnseason'd without it The waiting maids Or the concomitants of it are his patience His magnanimity his confidence His constancy security and quiet He can assure himselfe against all rumour Despaires of nothing laughs at contumelies As knowing himselfe aduanced in a height Where iniury cannot reach him nor aspersion Touch him with soyle Lad. Most manly vtterd all As if Achilles had the chaire in valour And Hercules were but a Lecturer Who would not hang vpon those lips for euer That strike such musique I could run on them But modesty is such a schoole mistresse To keepe our sexe in awe Pru. Or you can faine my Subtill and dissembling Lady mistresse Lat. I feare she meanes it Pru in too good earnest Lov. The purpose of an iniury 't is to vexe And trouble me now nothing can doe that To him that 's valiant He that is affected With the least iniury is lesse then it It is but reasonable to conclude That should be stronger still which hurts then that Which is hurt Now no wickednesse is stronger Then what opposeth it Not Fortunes selfe When she encounters vertue but comes off Both lame and lesse why should a wise man then Confesse himselfe the weaker by the feeling Of a fooles wrong There may an iniury Be meant me I may choose if I will take it But we are now come to that delicacie And tendernesse of sense we thinke an insolence Worse then an iniury beare words worse then deeds We are not so much troubled with the wrong As with the opinion of the wrong like children We are made afraid with visors Such poore sounds As is the lie or common words of spight Wise lawes thought neuer worthy a reuenge And 't is the narrownesse of humane nature Our pouerty and beggery of spirit To take exception at these things He laugh'd at me He broke a iest a third tooke place of me How most ridiculous quarrels are all these Notes of a queasie and sick stomack labouring With want of a true iniury the maine part Of the wrong is our vice of taking it Lat. Or our interpreting it to be such Lov. You take it rightly If a woman or child Giue me the lie would I be angry no Not if I were i' my wits sure I should thinke it No spice of a disgrace No more is theirs If I will thinke it who are to be held In as contemptible a ranke or worse I am kept out a Masque sometime thrust out Made wait a day two three for a great word Which when it comes forth is all frown and forehead What laughter should this breed rather then anger Out of the tumult of so many errors To feele with contemplation mine owne quiet If a great person doe me an affront A Giant of the time sure I will beare it Or out of patience or necessity Shall I doe more for feare then for my iudgement For me now to be angry with Hodge Huffle Or Burst his broken charge if he be sawcy Or our owne type of Spanish valour Tipto Who were he now necessited to beg Would aske an almes like Conde Oliuares Were iust to make my selfe such a vaine Animal As one of them If light wrongs touch me not No more shall great if not a few not many There 's nought so sacred with vs but may finde A sacrilegious person yet the thing is No lesse diuine cause the prophane can reach it He is shot free in battayle is not hurt Not he that is not hit So he is valiant That yeelds not vnto wrongs not he that scapes 'hem They that do pull downe Churches and deface The holiest Altars cannot hurt the God-head A calme wise man may shew as much true valour Amid'st these popular prouocations As can an able Captaine shew security By his braue conduct through an enemies country A wise man neuer goes the peoples way But as the Planets still moue contrary To the worlds motion so doth he to opinion He will examine if those accidents Which common fame cals iniuries happen to him Deseruedly or no come they deseruedly They are no wrongs then but his punishments If vndeseruedly and he not guilty The doer of them first should blush not he Lat. Excellent Bea. Truth and right Fra. An Oracle Could not haue spoken more Lad. Beene more beleeu'd Pru. The whole Court runnes into your sentence Sir And see your second houre is almost ended Lad. It cannot be O clip the wings of time Good Pru or make him stand still with a charme Distill the gout into it cramps all diseases T' arrest him in the foot and fix him here O for an engine to keepe backe all clocks Or make the Sunne forget his motion If I but knew what drinke the Time now lou'd To set my Trundle at him mine owne Barnabe Pru. Why I 'le consult our Shelee nien To-mas Nur. Er grae Chreest Bea. Wake her not Nur. Tower een Cuppan D'vsque bagh doone Pru. Vsquebagh 's her drinke But 't wi' not make the time drunke Host. As 't hath her Away with her my Lord but marry her first Pru Pru. I that 'll be sport anone too for my Lady But she hath other game to fly
imployment Hos. An Embassy at least Fly Some treaty of state Host. 'T is a fine tack about and worth the obseruing Act 5. Scene 2. Lady Prudence Host Fly Sweet Pru I now thou art a Queene indeed These robes doe royally and thou becom'st 'hem So they doe thee rich garments only fit The partyes they are made for they shame others How did they shew on good'y Taylors back Like a Caparison for a Sow God saue vs Thy putting hem on hath purg'd and hallow'd 'hem From all pollution meant by the Mechanicks Pru. Hang him poore snip a secular shop-wit H' hath nought but his sheeres to claime by his measures His prentise may as well put in for his needle And plead a stitch Lad. They haue no taint in 'hem Now o' the Taylor Pru. Yes of his wiues hanches Thus thick of fat I smell 'hem o' the say Lad. It is restoratiue Pru with thy but chafing it A barren Hindes grease may worke miracles Finde but his chamber doore and he will rise To thee or if thou pleasest faine to be The wretched party her selfe and com'st vnto him In forma pauperis to craue the aide Of his Knight errant valour to the rescue Of thy distressed robes name but thy gowne And he will rise to that Pru I le fire the charme first I had rather dye in a ditch with Mistresse Shore Without a smock as the pitifull matter has it Then owe my wit to cloathes or ha' it beholden Host. Still spirit of Pru Fly And smelling o' the Soueraigne Pru. No I will tell him as it is indeed I come from the fine froward frampull Lady One was runne mad with pride wild with selfe-loue But late encountring a wise man who scorn'd her And knew the way to his owne bed without Borrowing her warming pan she hath recouerd Part of her wits so much as to consider How farre she hath trespass'd vpon whom and how And now sits penitent and solitary Like the forsaken Turtle in the volary Of the light Heart the cage she hath abus'd Mourning her folly weeping at the height She measures with her eye from whence she is falne Since she did branch it on the top o' the wood Lad. I pr'y thee Pru abuse me enough that 's vse me As thou thinkest fit any course way to humble me Or bring me home againe or Lovel on Thou doest not know my suffrings what I feele my fires and feares are met I burne and freeze My liuer 's one great coale my heart shrunke vp With all the fiuers and the masse of blood Within me is a standing lake of fire Curl'd with the cold wind of my gelid sighs That driue a drift of sleete through all my body And shoot a February through my veines Vntill I see him I am drunke with thirst And surfeted with hunger of his presence I know not wher I am or no or speake Or whether thou doest heare me Pru. Spare expressions I le once more venture for your Ladiship So you will vse your fortunes reuerendly Lad. Religiously deare Pru Loue and his Mother I le build them seuerall Churches Shrines and Altars And ouer head I le haue in the glasse windowes The story of this day be painted round For the poore Layety of loue to read I le make my selfe their booke nay their example To bid them take occasion by the forelock And play no after-games of Loue hereafter Host. And here your Host and 's Fly witnes your vowes And like two lucky birds bring the presage Of a loud iest Lord Beaufort married is Lad. Ha Fli. All to be married Pru. To whom not your sonne Host. The same Pru. If her Ladiship could take truce A little with her passion and giue way To their mirth now running Lad. Runn's it mirth let 't come It shall be well receiu'd and much made of it Pru. We must of this It was our owne conception Act 5. Scene 3. Latimer To them Roome for green rushes raise the Fidlers Chamberlain Call vp the house in armes Hos. This will rouze Lovel Fly And bring him on too Lat. Shelee-neen Runns like a Heyfar bitten with the Brieze About the court crying on Fly and cursing Fly For what my Lord Lat. Yo'were best heare that from her It is no office Fly fits my relation Here come the happy couple Ioy Lord Beaufort Fly And my yong Lady too Hos. Much ioy my Lord Act 5. Scene 4. Beaufort Franke Seruant To them I thanke you all I thanke thee Father Fly Madam my Cossen you looke discompos'd I haue beene bold with a sallad after supper O' your owne lettice here Lad. You haue my Lord But lawes of hospitality and faire rites Would haue made me acquainted Bea. I' your owne house I doe acknowledge Else I much had trespass'd But in an Inne and publique where there is licence Of all community a pardon o' course May be su'de out Lat. It will my Lord and carry it I doe not see how any storme or tempest Can helpe it now Pru. The thing being done and past You beare it wisely and like a Lady of iudgement Bea. She is that secretary Pru Pru. Why secretary My wise Lord is your braine lately maried Bea. Your raigne is ended Pru no soueraigne now Your date is out and dignity expir'd Pru. I am annul'd how can I treat with Lovel Without a new commission Lad. Thy gown's commission Host. Haue patience Pru expect bid the Lord ioy Pru. And this braue Lady too I wish them ioy Pei. Ioy Ior Ioy Iug All ioy Hos. I the house full of ioy Fly Play the bels Fidlers crack your strings with ioy Pru. But Lady Letice you shew'd a neglect Vn-to-be-pardon'd to'ards my Lady your kinswoman Not to advise with her Bea. Good politique Pru Vrge not your state-aduice your after-wit 'T is neare vpbraiding Get our bed ready Chamberlain And Host a Bride-cup you haue rare conceipts And good ingredients euer an old Host Vpo' the road has his prouocatiue drinks Lat. He is either a good Baud or a Physician Bea. 'T was well he heard you not his back was turn'd A bed the Geniall bed a brace of boyes To night I play for Pru. Giue vs points my Lord Bea. Here take 'hem Pru my cod-piece point and all I ha' claspes my Letice armes here take 'hem boyes What is the chamber ready speake why stare you On one another Ior. No Sir Bea. And why no Ior. My master has forbid it He yet doubts That you are married Bea. Aske his vicar generall His Fly here Fly I must make that good they are married Host. But I must make it bad my hot yong Lord Gi' him his doublet againe the aier is peircing You may take cold my Lord See whom you ha' married Your hosts sonne and a boy Fly You are abus'd Lad. Much ioy my Lord Pru. If this be your Latitia Shee 'l proue a counterfeit mirth and a clip'd Lady Ser. A boy a boy my Lord has married a boy
THE NEVV INNE OR The light Heart A COMOEDY As it was neuer acted but most negligently play'd by some the Kings Seruants And more squeamishly beheld and censured by others the Kings Subiects 1629 Now at last set at liberty to the Readers his Maties Seruants and Subiects to be iudg'd 1631 By the Author B. Ionson Hor. me lectori credere mallem Quam spectatoris fastidia ferre superbi LONDON ¶ Printed by Thomas Harper for Thomas Alchorne and are to be sold at his shop in Pauls Church-yeard at the signe of the greene Dragon MDCXXXI THE DEDICATION TO THE READER IF thou bee such I make thee my Patron and dedicate the Piece to thee If not so much would I had bene at the charge of thy better litterature How-so-euer if thou canst but spell and ioyne my sense there is more hope of thee then of a hundred fastidious impertinents who were there present the first day yet neuer made piece of their prospect the right way What did they come for then thou wil't aske me I will as punctually answer To see and to bee seene To make a generall muster of themselues in their clothes of credit and possesse the Stage against the Play To dislike all but marke nothing And by their confidence of rising between the Actes in oblique lines make affidauit to the whole house of their not vnderstanding one Scene Arm'd with this praeiudice as the Stage-furniture or Arrasclothes they were there as Spectators away For the faces in the hangings and they beheld alike So I wish they may doe euer And doe trust my selfe and my Booke rather to thy rusticke candor than all the pompe of their pride and solemne ignorance to boote Fare thee well and fall too Read BEN IONSON But first THE ARGVMENT THe Lord FRAMPVL a noble Gentleman well educated and bred a Schollar in Oxford was married yong to a vertuous Gentlewoman Sylly's daughter of the South whose worth though he truly enioy'd hee neuer could rightly value but as many greene Husbands giuen ouer to their extrauagant delights and some peccant humors of their owne occasion'd in his ouer louing wife so deepe a melancholy by his leauing her in the time of her lying in of her second daughter shee hauing brought him only two daughters Frances and Laetitia and out of her hurt fancy interpreting that to bee a cause of her husbands couldnesse in affection her not being blest with a sonne tooke a resolution with her selfe after her months time and thanksgiuing ritely in the Church to quit her home with a vow neuer to returne till by reducing her Lord she could bring a wish'd happinesse to the family He in the meane time returning and hearing of this departure of his Lady began though ouer-late to resent the iniury he had done her and out of his cockbraind resolution entred into as solemne a quest of her Since when neither of them had beene heard of But the eldest daughter Frances by the title of Lady Frampul enioyed the state her sister being lost yong and is the sole relict of the family Act 1. Here begins our Comoedy This Lady being a braue bountifull Lady and enioying this free and plentifull estate hath an ambitious disposition to be esteemed the Mistresse of many seruants but loues none And hearing of a famous new-Inne that is kept by a merry Host call'd Good-stock in Barnet inuites some Lords and Gentlemen to wait on her thither as well to see the fashions of the place as to make themselues merry with the accidents on the by It happens there is a melancholique Gentleman one Master Lovel hath beene lodg'd there some dayes before in the Inne who vnwilling to be seene is surpriz'd by the Lady and inuited by Prudence the Ladies Chamber-maid who is elected Gouernesse of the Sports in the Inne for that day and instal'd their Soueraigne Lovel is perswaded by the Host and yeelds to the Ladies inuitation which concludes the first Act. Hauing reueal'd his quality before to the Host In the second Act Prudence and her Lady expresse their anger conceiu'd at the Taylor who had promised to make Prudence a new suite and bring it home as on the Eue against this day But hee failing of his word the Lady had commanded a standard of her owne best apparrell to bee brought downe and Prudence is so fitted The Lady being put in mind that shee is there alone without other company of women borrowes by the aduice of Pru the Hosts sonne of the house whom they dresse with the Hosts consent like a Lady and send out the Coachman with the empty Coach as for a kinswoman of her Ladiships Mistresse Laetitia Sylly to beare her company Who attended with his Nurse an old chare-woman in the Inne drest odly by the Hosts councell is beleeued to be a Lady of quality and so receiu'd entertain'd and loue made to her by the yong Lord Beaufort c In the meane time the Fly of the Inne is discouer'd to Colonell Glorious with the Militia of the house below the stayres in the Drawer Tapster Chamberlaine and Hostler inferiour officers with the Coachman Trundle Ferret c. And the preparation is made to the Ladies designe vpon Lovel his vpon her and the Soueraignes vpon both Here begins at the third Act the Epitasis or businesse of the Play Lovel by the dexterity and wit of the Soueraigne of the Sports Prudence hauing two houres assigned him of free colloquy and loue-making to his Mistresse one after Dinner the other after Supper The Court being set is demanded by the Lady Frampul what Loue is as doubting if there were any such power or no To whom hee first by definition and after by argument answeres prouing and describing the effects of Loue so vively as she who had derided the name of Loue before hearing his discourse is now so taken both with the Man and his matter as shee confesseth her selfe enamour'd of him and but for the ambition shee hath to enioy the other houre had presently declar'd her selfe which giues both him and the spectators occasion to thinke she yet dissembles notwithstanding the payment of her kisse which hee celebrates And the Court dissolues vpon a newes brought of a new Lady a newer Coach and a new Coachman call'd Barnaby Act 4. The house being put into a noyse with the rumor of this new Lady and there being drinking below in the court the Colonel Sir Glorious with Bat Burst a broken Citizen and Hodge Huffle his champion she fals into their hands and being attended but with one footman is vnciuilly entreated by them and a quarrell commenc'd but is rescued by the valour of Lovel which beheld by the Lady Frampul from the window shee is inuited vp for safety where comming and conducted by the Host her gowne is first discouer'd to bee the same with the whole suite which was bespoken for Pru and she her selfe vpon examination found to be Pinnacia Stuffe the Taylors wife who was wont to be
Lat. Raise all the house in shout and laughter a boy Host. Stay what is here peace rascals stop your throats Act 5. Scene 5. Nurse To them That magot worme that insect O my child My daughter where 's that Fly I le fly in his face The vermin let me come to him Fly Why Nurse Shelee Nur. Hang thee thou Parasite thou sonne of crums And ortes thou hast vndone me and my child My daughter my deare daughter Ho. What meanes this Nur. O Sir my daughter my deare child is ruin'd By this your Fly here married in a stable And sold vnto a husband Host. Stint thy cry Harlot if that be all did'st thou not sell him To me for a boy and brought'st him in boyes rags Here to my doore to beg an almes of me Nur. I did good Mr and I craue your pardon But 't is my daughter and a girle Host. Why sayd'st thou It was a boy and sold'st him then to me With such entreaty for ten shillings Carlin Nur. Because you were a charitable man I heard good Mr and would breed him well I would ha' giu'n him you for nothing gladly Forgiue the lie o' my mouth it was to saue The fruit o' my wombe A parents needs are vrgent And few doe know that tyrant o're good natures But you relieu'd her and me too the Mother And tooke me into your house to be the nurse For which heauen heape all blessings on your head Whilst there can one be added Host. Sure thou speakst Quite like another creature then th' hast liu'd Here i' the house a Shelee-neen Thomas An Irish beggar Nur. So I am God helpe me Host. What art thou tell The match is a good match For ought I see ring the bels once a gaine Bea. Stint I say Fidlers Lad. No going off my Lord Bea. Nor comming on sweet Lady things thus standing Fly But what 's the haynousnesse of my offence Or the degrees of wrong you suffer'd by it In hauing your daughter match't thus happily Into a noble house a braue yong blood And a prime peere o' the Realme Bea. Was that your plot Fly Gi' me a cloak take her againe among you I le none of your light-Heart fosterlings no Inmates suppositions fruits of an Host's braine And his Flys hatching to be put vpon me There is a royall Court o' the Star-chamber Will scatter all these mists disperse these vapours And cleare the truth Let beggers match with beggers That shall decide it I will try it there Nur. Nay then my Lord It s not enough I see You are licentious but you will be wicked Yo' are not alone content to take my daughter Against the law but hauing taken her You would repudiate and cast her off Now at your pleasure like a beast of power Without all cause or colour of a cause That or a noble or an honest man Should dare t' except against her pouerty Is pouerty a vice Bea. Th' age counts it so Nur. God helpe your Lordship and your peeres that think so If any be if not God blesse them all And helpe the number o' the vertuous If pouerty be a crime You may obiect Our beggery to vs as an accident But neuer deeper no inherent basenesse And I must tell you now yong Lord of durt As an incensed mother she hath more And better blood running i'those small veines Then all the race of Beauforts haue in masse Though they distill their drops from the left rib Of Iohn O' Gaunt Host. Old mother o' records Thou know'st her pedegree then whose daughter is she Nur. The daughter and coheire to the Lord Frampull This Ladies sister Lad. Mine what is her name Nur. Laetitia Lad That was lost Nur. The true Latitia Lad. Sister O gladnesse Then you are our mother Nur. I am deare daughter Lad. On my knees I blesse The light I see you by Nur. And to the author Of that blest light I ope my other eye Which hath almost now seuen yeare beene shut Darke as my vow was neuer to see light Till such a light restor'd it as my children Or your deare father who I heare is not Bea. Giue me my wife I owne her now and will haue her Host. But you must aske my leaue first my yong Lord Leaue is but light Ferret Goe bolt your Master Here 's geare will startle him I cannot keepe The passion in me I am eene turn'd child And I must weepe Fly take away mine host My beard and cap here from me and fetch my Lord I am her father Sir and you shall now Aske my consent before you haue her Wife My deare and louing wife my honor'd wife Who here hath gain'd but I I am Lord Frampull The cause of all this trouble I am he Haue measur'd all the Shires of England ouer Wales and her mountaines seene those wilder nations Of people in the Peake and Lancashire Their Pipers Fidlers Rushers Puppet-masters Iuglers and Gipseys all the sorts of Canters And Colonies of beggars Tumblers Ape-carriers For to these sauages I was addicted To search their natures and make odde discoueries And here my wife like a she Mandeuile Ventred in disquisition after me Nur. I may looke vp admire I cannot speake Yet to my Lord Host. Take heart and breath recouer Thou hast recouer'd me who here had coffin'd My selfe aliue in a poore hostelry In pennance of my wrongs done vnto thee Whom I long since gaue lost Nur. So did I you Till stealing mine owne daughter from her sister I lighted on this errour hath cur'd all Bea. And in that cure include my trespasse Mother And Father for my wife Host. No the Star-chamber Bea. Away with that you sowre the sweetest lettice Was euer tasted Host. Gi' you ioy my Sonne Cast her not off againe O call me Father Lovel and this your Mother if you like But take your Mistris first my child I haue power To giue her now with her consent her sister Is giuen already to your brother Beaufort Lov. Is this a dreame now after my first sleepe Or are these phant'sies made i' the light Heart And sold i' the new Inne Host. Best goe to bed And dreame it ouer all Let 's all goe sleepe Each with his Turtle Fly prouide vs lodgings Get beds prepar'd yo' are master now o' the Inne The Lord o' the light Heart I giue it you Fly was my fellow Gipsey All my family Indeed were Gipseys Tapsters Ostlers Chamberlaines Reduced vessels of ciuility But here stands Pru neglected best deseruing Of all that are i' the house or i' my Heart Whom though I cannot helpe to a fit husband I le helpe to that will bring one a iust portion I haue two thousand pound in banke for Pru Call for it when she will Bea. And I as much Host. There 's somewhat yet foure thousand pound that 's better Then sounds the prouerbe foure bare legs in a bed Lov. Me and her mistresse she hath power to coyne Vp into what she will Lad.