1690._o that_o i_o have_v particular_o mention_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n etc._n etc._n i_o must_v acquaint_v all_o peruser_n of_o this_o book_n that_o i_o be_o not_o asbamed_a to_o do_v it_o for_o the_o advance_v of_o free_a and_o rich_a grace_n some_o passage_n of_o the_o life_n of_o gervase_n disney_n from_o my_o first_o marriage_n especial_o with_o many_o particular_n before_o such_o as_o either_o occur_v to_o memory_n or_o by_o the_o help_n of_o my_o diary_n i_o be_v capable_a of_o take_v in_o which_o i_o have_v endeavour_v as_o impartial_o to_o view_v my_o dark_a side_n as_o bright_a and_o both_o for_o these_o reason_n by_o the_o former_a i_o discover_v the_o miserable_a corruption_n of_o my_o wretched_a nature_n the_o wiles_n and_o subtlety_n of_o a_o busy_a devil_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n seek_v who_o he_o may_v devour_v by_o the_o latter_a i_o will_v discover_v the_o wonderful_a free_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o i_o who_o be_v one_o of_o the_o worst_a 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part_v with_o he_o for_o â—he_n do_v not_o believe_v he_o be_v long_o for_o this_o world_n and_o say_v he_o i_o ground_n my_o persuasion_n upon_o this_o when_o i_o pray_v for_o his_o recovery_n i_o find_v strange_a restraint_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_o much_o dampt_v &_o strain_v but_o when_o i_o pray_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v fit_v he_o for_o himself_o and_o crown_v he_o with_o happiness_n to_o eternity_n when_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o eternal_a welfare_n of_o his_o soul_n i_o be_o then_o much_o enlarge_v thus_o the_o secret_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v with_o that_o good_a man_n that_o true_o fear_v he_o for_o the_o child_n die_v at_o that_o time_n thâ—_n i_o suppose_v as_o likely_a to_o live_v according_a to_o haimâ—â—â—â—_n conjecture_n as_o any_o of_o we_o be_v all_o 〈…〉_z of_o the_o smallpox_n at_o that_o time_n but_o my_o brother_n cornelius_n who_o have_v that_o distemper_n young_a and_o my_o sister_n mâ—…y_n who_o through_o god_n goodness_n escape_v the_o infection_n by_o my_o mother_n remove_n she_o to_o sâ—â—inder_v by_o when_o we_o be_v drop_v down_o of_o they_o one_o after_o another_o my_o brother_n cornelius_n die_v of_o a_o consumption_n cornelius_n about_o the_o year_n 1664_o and_o in_o about_o the_o 28_o year_n of_o his_o age_n at_o my_o uncle_n thomas_n disney's_n at_o stoke-hammond_n he_o go_v to_o school_n at_o lincoln_n where_o his_o quick_a and_o ripe_a natural_a part_n be_v soon_o observe_v at_o school_n he_o be_v so_o extraordinary_a industrious_a and_o studious_a that_o in_o a_o short_a time_n such_o be_v his_o proficiency_n in_o humane_a learning_n the_o be_v account_v one_o of_o the_o â—…st_a scholar_n not_o only_o of_o that_o school_n but_o perhaps_o of_o that_o town_n and_o country_n as_o to_o grammar-learning_n his_o master_n mr._n clark_n be_v proud_a he_o have_v such_o a_o scholar_n to_o boast_v of_o be_v indeed_o the_o very_a credit_n of_o his_o school_n and_o will_v therefore_o usual_o put_v he_o upon_o the_o most_o difficult_a task_n in_o learning_n and_o dispute_v he_o be_v a_o great_a improver_n of_o time_n in_o his_o young_a year_n i_o have_v be_v credible_o inform_v he_o will_v hardly_o allow_v himself_o time_n for_o those_o necessary_a repast_n that_o nature_n may_v warrantable_o challenge_v the_o spare_a time_n that_o he_o have_v from_o school_n which_o other_o scholar_n spend_v in_o play_n and_o youthful_a recreation_n he_o will_v constant_o with_o great_a delight_n spend_v in_o his_o study_n usual_o rise_v early_o and_o sit_v up_o late_o for_o such_o end_n his_o great_a prosiciency_n in_o learning_n be_v such_o that_o he_o prove_v very_o useful_a i_o may_v not_o say_v serviceable_a to_o the_o scholar_n of_o the_o same_o form_n for_o whilst_o they_o be_v spend_v their_o spare_a hour_n with_o delight_n in_o play_n he_o will_v be_v spend_v his_o with_o as_o great_a delight_n in_o his_o own_o study_n or_o in_o the_o service_n of_o those_o idle_a lad_n who_o common_o engage_v his_o help_n in_o prepare_v 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but_o either_o conformity_n which_o i_o dare_v not_o yield_v to_o or_o leave_v the_o town_n which_o i_o be_v resolve_v upon_o as_o the_o best_a expedient_a for_o my_o ease_n the_o lord_n who_o have_v never_o fail_v i_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trouble_n now_o appear_v for_o i_o in_o his_o counsel_n and_o conduct_n i_o be_v now_o upon_o term_n with_o my_o cousin_n clarâ—son_n for_o his_o house_n in_o kirton_n and_o be_v come_v to_o a_o conclusion_n yet_o as_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o order_v it_o providential_o though_o i_o be_v please_v with_o the_o house_n very_o much_o and_o my_o wife_n before_o have_v consent_v to_o the_o take_v it_o i_o will_v have_v a_o day_n be_v time_n further_o to_o speak_v with_o my_o wife_n about_o it_o and_o she_o at_o that_o time_n be_v at_o wigwall_n thither_o i_o go_v and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v i_o meet_v with_o a_o letter_n from_o mr._n barrett_n my_o most_o worthy_a friend_n who_o be_v constant_o contrive_v for_o my_o well-doing_n both_o in_o soul_n and_o body_n acquaint_v i_o that_o there_o be_v a_o house_n at_o ollercarre_n to_o be_v det_fw-la which_o may_v prove_v a_o convenient_a seat_n for_o i_o and_o here_o though_o i_o meet_v with_o some_o rub_n yet_o god_n in_o his_o providence_n seem_v to_o point_v out_o that_o habitation_n to_o i_o i_o go_v to_o view_v it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v upon_o disadvantage_n there_o be_v much_o finish_v work_n within_o door_n want_v yet_o i_o like_v it_o so_o well_o as_o hope_v it_o may_v prove_v a_o quiet_a and_o comfortable_a place_n to_o i_o beside_o the_o privilege_n appertain_v to_o it_o that_o i_o conclude_v to_o take_v a_o journey_n to_o mr._n burton_n about_o it_o but_o his_o bailiff_n who_o live_v with_o his_o family_n in_o the_o house_n and_o as_o i_o perceive_v since_o have_v no_o desire_n it_o shall_v he_o let_v tell_v i_o he_o will_v send_v to_o mr._n burton_n to_o know_v his_o term_n and_o to_o acquaint_v he_o with_o my_o desire_n of_o take_v it_o how_o he_o manage_v his_o business_n i_o know_v not_o but_o the_o answer_n he_o return_v i_o be_v that_o his_o master_n burton_n will_v not_o let_v it_o under_o sixscore_o pound_n per_fw-la annum_fw-la which_o be_v 20_o l._n more_o than_o he_o have_v before_o offer_v it_o to_o other_o for_o this_o i_o take_v to_o be_v a_o cross_a providence_n and_o have_v proceed_v i_o think_v no_o far_o but_o for_o my_o brother_n spateman_n who_o advise_v i_o that_o nothing_o can_v be_v do_v or_o know_v without_o my_o go_v thither_o who_o offer_v very_o kind_o to_o go_v along_o with_o i_o thither_o we_o go_v and_o in_o a_o few_o day_n i_o take_v the_o house_n for_o 30_o l._n per_fw-la annum_fw-la less_o than_o be_v mention_v to_o the_o great_a grief_n i_o do_v perceive_v of_o the_o bailiff_n who_o it_o be_v to_o be_v fear_v consult_v his_o own_o profit_n more_o than_o his_o master_n interest_n and_o true_o this_o providence_n i_o can_v overlook_v viz._n that_o i_o have_v not_o have_v the_o house_n if_o a_o rainy_n day_n have_v not_o prevent_v another_o go_v to_o take_v it_o just_a at_o that_o time_n and_o hither_o now_o the_o lord_n have_v bring_v we_o man_n by_o their_o fury_n have_v drive_v we_o from_o nottingham_n which_o though_o they_o may_v intend_v it_o for_o my_o hurt_a god_n can_v turn_v it_o to_o good_n o_o that_o i_o may_v keep_v in_o his_o way_n and_o leave_v issue_n to_o he_o to_o the_o 14_o of_o june_n 85_o i_o find_v in_o my_o diary_n acknowledgement_n day_n by_o day_n that_o i_o have_v experience_v the_o lord_n goodness_n in_o cast_v my_o lot_n into_o this_o place_n have_v to_o that_o time_n enjoy_v most_o comfortable_a sabbath_n &_o for_o the_o most_o part_n very_o public_a assembly_n to_o the_o refreshment_n of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o ourselves_o here_o i_o find_v by_o those_o diaries_n i_o be_v much_o carry_v out_o in_o praise_v god_n and_o in_o beg_v that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o make_v some_o answerable_a return_v to_o he_o by_o a_o thankful_a heart_n and_o a_o fruitful_a life_n at_o my_o first_o come_v to_o ollercarre_n it_o be_v much_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v render_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n towards_o i_o and_o i_o i_o have_v this_o serious_a resolve_v that_o i_o will_v not_o shut_v god_n out_o of_o my_o house_n who_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o entertainment_n in_o it_o i_o then_o pitch_v upon_o this_o method_n for_o family-discipline_n on_o weekday_n to_o do_v thus_o 1._o prayer_n every_o morning_n by_o six_o of_o clock_n for_o the_o benefit_n of_o those_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o be_v abroad_o after_o upon_o account_n of_o husbandry_n and_o this_o to_o be_v perform_v by_o my_o cousin_n watson_n or_o when_o abroad_o by_o some_o one_o man-servervant_a 2._o by_o 9_o a_o clock_n every_o morning_n to_o call_v my_o family_n together_o toâ—_n worship_n god_n by_o prayer_n sing_v part_n of_o a_o psalm_n read_v a_o chapter_n and_o then_o prayer_n 3._o to_o go_v to_o dinner_n by_o 12_o a_o clock_n 4._o to_o family-prayer_n at_o â—_o in_o the_o evening_n to_o be_v perform_v in_o the_o same_o method_n as_o in_o the_o morning_n 5._o to_o supper_n by_o 7_o a_o clock_n 6._o after_o supper_n to_o spend_v some_o time_n in_o read_v some_o good_a life_n or_o other_o good_a book_n 7._o by_o â—_o a_o clock_z every_o person_n to_o their_o chamber_n 8._o every_o monday_n night_n by_o â—_o a_o clock_n to_o catechise_v servant_n and_o child_n 9_o every_o thursday_n night_n repetition_n 10._o all_o unlawful_a game_n as_o card_n dice_n etc._n etc._n all_o kind_n of_o ribaldry_n vain_a song_n foolish_a talk_v and_o idle_a jest_a swear_v lie_v etc._n etc._n and_o all_o kind_n of_o sin_n whatsoever_o be_v here_o forbid_v no_o profane_a person_n to_o abide_v in_o my_o house_n no_o liar_n to_o tarry_v in_o my_o sight_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n this_o method_n 1._o to_o begin_v the_o day_n as_o to_o family-worship_n with_o family-prayer_n by_o 8_o a_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n 2._o by_o 9_o a_o clock_n to_o sermon_n 3._o by_o 12_o a_o clock_n to_o dinner_n 4._o by_o 2_o a_o clock_n to_o sermon_n 5._o by_o 6_o a_o clock_n to_o family-prayer_n 6._o by_o 7_o a_o clock_n to_o supper_n 7._o by_o 8_o a_o clock_n to_o repetition_n this_o method_n in_o my_o family_n for_o most_o part_n through_o assist_v grace_n we_o have_v perform_v experience_v the_o benefit_n of_o and_o will_v commend_v it_o to_o other_o when_o i_o have_v not_o have_v this_o method_n i_o have_v find_v these_o inconvenience_n 1._o that_o the_o mistime_n of_o one_o thing_n have_v usual_o occasion_v the_o mistime_n of_o every_o thing_n in_o my_o family_n 2._o that_o when_o we_o be_v uncertain_a as_o to_o our_o time_n for_o family-worship_n i_o have_v often_o find_v some_o of_o my_o servant_n absent_a and_o their_o plea_n usual_o be_v that_o they_o have_v engage_v in_o such_o business_n as_o they_o can_v not_o leave_v off_o whenas_o a_o state_v know_v time_n for_o such_o duty_n give_v all_o advantage_n to_o forecast_v 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prosper_v that_o love_n she_o i_o be_o madam_n your_o most_o oblige_a friend_n and_o humble_a servant_n g._n d._n a_o letter_n to_o mr._n job_n at_o london_n jan._n 25_o 83._o sir_n i_o receive_v your_o very_a kind_a letter_n and_o christian_a line_n some_o time_n since_o and_o have_v return_v you_o my_o thanks_o soon_o have_v not_o extraordinary_a business_n prevent_v i_o have_v cause_n to_o bless_v god_n for_o your_o acquaintance_n and_o for_o that_o christian_a society_n i_o have_v with_o you_o whilst_o at_o london_n o_o that_o i_o can_v be_v as_o serviceable_a to_o you_o in_o the_o best_a thing_n as_o you_o have_v be_v to_o i_o poor_a unworthy_a i_o who_o needs_o jog_v heavenwards_o it_o be_v with_o we_o as_o with_o other_o a_o very_a dark_a and_o gloomy_a day_n but_o light_n be_v sow_v for_o the_o righteous_a who_o shall_v reap_v if_o they_o faint_v not_o and_o gladness_n for_o the_o upright_a in_o heart_n as_o the_o psalmist_n speak_v o_o that_o we_o can_v be_v like_o the_o 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d._n a_o letter_n to_o mrs._n sarah_n reyner_n one_o of_o my_o charge_n jan._n 85._o dear_a mrs._n sarah_n i_o receive_v you_o which_o though_o the_o first_o receive_v be_v not_o i_o perceive_v the_o first_o send_v for_o which_o i_o thank_v you_o and_o have_v according_a to_o your_o desire_n send_v you_o by_o pay_v it_o to_o mr._n charleton_n clerk_n 50_o s._n i_o much_o wonder_v your_o sister_n elizabeth_n will_v not_o vouchsafe_v i_o one_o line_n since_o she_o leave_v the_o country_n but_o however_o do_v rejoice_v to_o hear_v upon_o enquiry_n you_o both_o do_v well_o as_o to_o this_o world_n and_o i_o will_v fain_o hope_v you_o will_v not_o be_v negligent_a in_o mind_v the_o affair_n of_o a_o better_a world_n nor_o dare_v be_v regardless_o of_o your_o precious_a and_o immortal_a soul_n you_o be_v both_o the_o child_n of_o religious_a parent_n have_v be_v blessed_v with_o a_o good_a education_n and_o many_o prayer_n be_v i_o believe_v lodge_v in_o heaven_n for_o you_o so_o that_o 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complain_v of_o decay_n of_o her_o sight_n honour_a mother_n i_o return_v you_o my_o humble_a thanks_o for_o your_o welcome_a line_n and_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o uncertainty_n of_o my_o man_n last_o journey_n to_o lincoln_n will_v excuse_v my_o then_o silence_n it_o trouble_v i_o much_o to_o hear_v of_o your_o eye_n decay_v and_o dim_n which_o as_o you_o please_v to_o observe_v be_v one_o effect_v of_o old_a age_n it_o be_v great_a mercy_n the_o lord_n have_v give_v you_o the_o use_n of_o they_o so_o long_o but_o far_o great_a that_o he_o have_v give_v you_o a_o heart_n to_o use_v they_o to_o his_o glory_n and_o your_o own_o and_o other_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n i_o fear_v your_o too_o much_o read_v in_o the_o daytime_n and_o at_o all_o by_o candle-light_n have_v and_o do_v that_o way_n prove_v prejudicial_a to_o you_o i_o will_v therefore_o humble_o beg_v you_o to_o favour_v they_o as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v and_o this_o be_o confident_a of_o will_v you_o please_v to_o take_v 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time_n with_o you_o on_o earth_n to_o sit_v your_o heart_n be_v proud_a and_o look_v and_o speech_n you_o know_v and_o carriage_n unto_o all_o be_v also_o so_o lodge_v they_o in_o hell_n their_o pride_n must_v cost_v they_o dear_a see_v what_o they_o will_v be_v proud_a of_o when_o they_o be_v there_o envious_a let_v envious_a person_n now_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o bar_n who_o malice_n do_v exceed_v all_o other_o far_o there_o hardly_o can_v be_v any_o rich_a or_o great_a but_o these_o will_v quick_o envy_v their_o estate_n they_o soon_o repine_v if_o they_o but_o see_v or_o hear_v other_o commend_v whilst_o themselves_o be_v there_o if_o neighbour_n but_o excel_v in_o any_o thing_n they_o either_o blast_v his_o name_n or_o clip_v his_o wing_n these_o be_v the_o by-path_n envious_a soul_n have_v tread_v their_o eye_n be_v evil_a because_o i_o be_v good_n then_o take_v they_o deu'l_a companion_n to_o be_v they_o be_v not_o fit_a for_o heaven_n but_o for_o thou_o wrathful_a bring_v 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day_n in_o which_o they_o be_v unite_v devil_n must_v needs_o with_o fury_n be_v drive_v seize_v we_o for_o hell_n be_v senteneed_a out_o of_o heaven_n and_o with_o their_o insultation_n at_o we_o rage_n as_o tho'_o our_o torment_n will_v their_o own_o assuage_v in_o flame_n must_v fry_v which_o never_o cease_v to_o burn_v from_o whence_o we_o never_o may_v nor_o can_v return_v meditation_n upon_o the_o sacrament_n in_o verse_n make_v the_o 28_o of_o jan._n 85._o by_o g._n d._n all_o wanton_a wander_a worldly_a thought_n be_v go_v it_o be_v christ_n alone_o i_o be_o now_o to_o think_v upon_o stand_v off_o the_o world_n and_o worldly_a business_n all_o i_o have_v no_o leisure_n to_o attend_v your_o call_n my_o friend_n i_o leave_v you_o thing_n below_o adieu_o i_o must_v my_o bleed_a saviour_n go_v and_o view_v my_o soul_n be_v for_o mount_v up_o that_o i_o may_v see_v my_o bless_a lord_n who_o bleed_v and_o die_v for_o i_o and_o may_v not_o stay_v since_o heaven_n give_v the_o call_n but_o hasten_v to_o he_o dear_a than_o you_o all_o come_v then_o my_o soul_n be_v get_v alone_o make_v haste_n heaven_n banquet_n be_v prepare_v go_v and_o taste_v look_v yonder_o see_v how_o other_o flock_n and_o run_v and_o can_v thou_o linger_v thus_o my_o soul_n be_v go_v touch_v but_o this_o veil_n climb_v up_o that_o mount_n then_o stay_v thou_o be_v arrive_v at_o bloody_a golgotha_n pause_v here_o a_o while_n and_o pause_v thou_o shall_v see_v thy_o saviour_n bleed_v die_a dead_a for_o thou_o admire_v rich_a grace_n my_o soul_n o_o strange_a decree_n that_o christ_n must_v be_v the_o prisoner_n and_o not_o i_o it_o may_v have_v be_v my_o case_n that_o i_o must_v sup_v nay_o drink_v the_o dregs_o of_o this_o most_o bitter_a cup._n but_o look_v he_o yonder_o go_v that_o now_o must_v die_v my_o bless_a saviour_n suffer_v and_o not_o i._n nay_o look_v again_o my_o soul_n approach_v more_o near_o and_o see_v a_o train_n of_o virgin_n follow_v there_o look_v there_o he_o pass_v by_o o_o bloody_a jew_n that_o dare_v the_o lord_n be_v anoint_v thus_o abuse_n see_v how_o they_o laugh_v and_o scoff_v and_o do_v at_o length_n force_v he_o to_o bear_v his_o cross_n above_o his_o strength_n press_v his_o weary_a limb_n they_o wag_v the_o head_n make_v he_o their_o sport_n and_o thus_o away_o he_o be_v lead_v methinks_v my_o heart_n do_v boil_v with_o rage_n to_o see_v the_o folly_n of_o these_o monster_n cruelty_n how_o can_v the_o bless_a lord_n to_o send_v forbear_v legion_n of_o angel_n for_o his_o rescue_n here_o why_o cause_v he_o not_o some_o fire_n from_o heaven_n then_o to_o fall_v upon_o these_o curse_a wicked_a man_n why_o do_v he_o not_o destroy_v this_o wicked_a race_n and_o pity_v more_o his_o son_n be_v distress_a case_n but_o stay_v my_o foolish_a heart_n thou_o do_v not_o know_v what_o spirit_n thou_o be_v of_o it_o must_v be_v so_o a_o debt_n be_v due_a to_o heaven_n and_o must_v be_v pay_v god_n call_v it_o in_o and_o payment_n must_v be_v make_v sinner_n can_v never_o be_v safe_a nor_o get_v to_o heaven_n till_o satisfaction_n be_v complete_o give_v this_o christ_n well_o know_v yet_o never_o grudge_v at'th_v cost_v to_o purchase_v back_o what_o bankrupt_a sinner_n lose_v he_o leave_v his_o father_n bosom_n tho'_o he_o know_v the_o sad_a and_o doleful_a thing_n that_o will_v ensue_v he_o know_v he_o be_v to_o suffer_v bleed_v and_o die_v or_o sinner_n must_v be_v lose_v eternal_o yet_o have_v undertake_v he_o will_v perform_v for_o this_o he_o hither_o come_v for_o this_o end_n bear_v he_o therefore_o shrink_v not_o nor_o do_v once_o dispute_n he_o die_v for_o the_o sake_n of_o sinner_n and_o be_v mute_a o_o sad_a arraignment_n when_o the_o judge_n must_v