Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
lord_n	daughter_n	father_n	son_n	10,765	5	4.8829	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A35190	England's jests refin'd and improv'd being a choice collection of the merriest jests, smartest repartees, wittiest sayings, and most notable bulls yet extant, with many new ones never before printed to which are added XIII ingenious characters drawn to the life / the whole work compil'd with great care and exactness, and may serve as the witty-man's companion, the busie-man's diversion and the melancholy man's physick and recreation, calculated for the innocent spending of the winter evenings by H.C.	Crouch, Humphrey, fl. 1635-1671.	1693 (1693)	Wing C7277B; ESTC R37703	63,227	205

never troubled the man after wards 46. A Highway-man being to be hang'd in a Country Town Order was sent to the Carpenter to make a Gallows which he neglecting to do the Execution was forc'd to be defer'd for which the Judge was not a little angry who sending for the Carpenter asked him why he had not done it Why Sir said he I have done two or three already but was never paid for them but had I known it had been for your Worship I would have left all other business to have done it 47. A Scotchman going along the street jostles a Gentleman The Gentleman said to him Goddamn you The Scotchman reply'd God bless you Sir may neither of them light 48. One ask'd a Gentleman if he 'd venture any thing at the Lottery this Fair and what he won his Wife shou'd have for her fairing No says the Gentlemen for there 's not one in forty has any luck but Cuckolds which his sweet Wife hearing said Dear Husband p●ay venture for I 'm sure you 'l have good luck 49. A Cambridge Schollar crossing King Iames's Steed when he was riding a Hunting The King was in a great Passion at it and rid after him with his drawn Sword and being going to cut him over the Pate the Schollar said to him Pray Sir don't Knight me till my Elder Brothers Dead for I am but a younger Brother at which witty saying the King was pacified and pleased and gave him a Guinney for his ingenuity 50. A silly Fellow hearing a Ladys servants call her Madam at every word he thought to be more mannerly than they and therefore made an Addition of Mistress to it saying Mistress Madam an 't please your Ladiship 51. The late engenious Bishop Wilkins having in his juvinal days written a Book inti●uled the World in the Moon wherein he allotted Land to several Princes in the World and particularly a considerable quantity to our late King After Dinner one day the K. having a mind to be merry said to the Bishop I have seen a Book of yours wherein you allot me a great deal of Land in the World in the Moon now it being so far off and troublesome to look after I will sell it you if you please to whom the Bishop repli●d I thank your Majesty but I don't care to meddle with Crown Lands 52. At another time the Countess of Newcastle being a whimsical Lady ask'd this Bishop Wilkins how she should get up into the World in the Moon which he had discovered For say● she it must certainly be a very great Iourny thither and unless one can rest by the way it is impossible to get thither Oh Madam says the Bishop your Ladyship has built so many Castles in the Air that you may rest in one of them 53. One that had a confounded Scold to his Wife being continually tromented with the perpetual Clack of her Tongue wish'd one day That she was in Heaven she knowing thereby that he had a mind to be rid of her in a great rage told him she had rather see him hang'd first 54. A Lords Son in the North that was much addicted to the Pleasures of Venus haunted all the pretty Girls thereabouts but especially one above the rest that was a very handsome Maid and a Farmers Daughter who was his Fathers Tenent which gave him the more liberty of Courting her and having inpertuned her very much yet she would not grant At last he promis'd her Marriage and thereby had the pleasure of Enjoyment But his Father and Mother fearing that he would make up a Match with the Farmers Daughter by going so often thither sent to another Lord that lived five Miles off to Treat with him for his Daughter who was a pretty Woman also for his Son So they soon agreed and the Marriage day was appointed and the Young Blade was Riding with his Man to the Bride-House but the Farmer and his Daughter had way laid him The Farmer ask'd him What satisfaction he shou'd have for the wrong he had done his Daughter Well says he There 's forty Guinneys for you and I 'll give you a Bond to make it up a hundred Pounds to be paid in three Months if you 'll be contended So the Bond was making under the Hedg and the People at the Bride-House admiring at his stay sent one to see who when he came found him Indenting with the Farmer and his Daughter under the Hedg So when he had do●e● 〈◊〉 Rid away to the Bride-House as fast as he could Gallop and soon afte● was Ma●●●● to the Lady and wh●n they were a bed together he began to Kiss her Pray says she resolve me one Question first What made you under the Hegd with the Farmer his Daughter so long Why ● says he that does not concern you at all Well says she I will know or else you and I shall be at a distance Why then says he if you won't be angry I 'll tell you Well I will not says she let it be what it will Why then says he I got the Farmers Daughter with Child and she was such a Fool to tell her Father of it So she was by my Troth says she for my Fathers Man got me with Child above a Twelvemonth ago and you are the first that ever I told of it 55. The Bishop of Mentz had a merry Fellow to his Tenant who was deep in Arreers for Rent to whom the Bishop sent his Steward who told him that unless he took more care to pay his Rent the Bishop would take a Course with him to whom the Fellow replied he did not value the Bishop for he knew how to keep out of his Clutches Why says the Stward you must go out of the Bishopwrick then no replied the Fellow I wont for I have forty lurking places about the Diocess where he will never find me where can they be I beseech you says the Steward why there 's one in every Church says he Then he 'l quickly find you out says the other for he 's there once a Week at least O but says the Fellew I 'll hide my self in one of the Pulpits where I 'm sure he won't come in hast 56. An Ignorant Fellow having got in to be a Reader in a Countrey-Church the first Chapter of Matthew being appointed to be Read which contains the Genealogy and is full of hard Names He began with Abraham begat Isaac and so read on three or four more till he was quite nonplus'd but casting his Eyes forward And so says he they begat one another to the end of the Chapter 57. A Knight in North●mpton S●ire that had three Sons and no great Estate told his young●st Son that he must needs bind him an Apprentice and bid him chuse his Trade The Boy bei●g of a smart and ingenious temper told his Father he 'd be a Tanner Push says he that 's a nasty Trady That 's true says he but yet 't is the

your Name and put in his for a Fool for not keeping your Money whe● he had it 156. Two Women scolding in the Street another of their Acquaintance came by whom they would refer th●ir Cas●s to N● says the W●m●n pray Excuse me I won't meddle in it but will stand Neuter How can that be says on of them when you have been common to all the Town 157. Doctor F●l●r overtook one Mr. Woodcock upon the Road falling in●o D●sc●urse in a facetious manner ask'd him what diff●re●ce th●re was between a Woodcock and an Owl supposing M● Woodcock had not known him He wittily replyed That an Owl was Fuller in the Head Fuller in the Face Fuller in the Eyes Fuller in the Neck and Fuller all over A Scholar meeting a Countreyman upon the Road Rid up ve●y briskly to him but the Countreyman out of Respect to him was turning off his Horse to give him the Road when the Scholar laying his Hand upon his Sword said 'T is well you gave me the Way or I 'd What wou'd you have done said the Countreyman holding up his Club at him Given it you Sir says he pulling of his Hat to him 159. One Reading in the Famous History of the S●ven Champions how St. George kill'd the Dragoon and sav'd Sabra the fair Maid of Egypt said He admir'd how Men co●'d invent such Lies for says he I believe there never was any such Dra●oon or such a Man as St. George O says another I can believe that better than that there was a Maid 160. A Tallow Chandler dying a merry Fellow said He wondred that he that had made so many Weeks cou'd make his Life no longer 162. A Lusty young Man in Somersetshire after he had been Married about four Months grew very Lean and Feeble so that he cou'd hardly crawl along He one day seeing a Butcher run over a Plough'd Field after a Mad-Bull ask'd him the reason of it Why says the Butcher it is to Tame him O says the Fellow Let him be Married let him be Married if that don't Tame him I 'll be hang'd 163. A Soldier a merry Fellow finding a Louse on his Sleave walking to take the Air took him up by the Back and said I swear if I catch ●ou ag●in out of your Quarters you shall be Hang'd and so put him into the Collar of his Dublet 164. A certain Highway-man having committed a Robbery in Devonshire was taken in Dorsets●ire making towards London and brought before a Justice of Peace who wou'd not meddle with him but wou'd send him back into the Shire where he committed the Robbery which a witty Countrey man hearing that had been at the trouble of taking him and was unwilling to Guard him back into the other County desir'd leave to ask the Justice one Question which he granted Why then says the Man I desire your Worship to tell me if a man be taken abed with your Wife to Night whether ●e must be sent thither again the next night 165. A Gentleman ord●'d a Crane for Supper but his Cook having a Sweet-heart in a longing condition 〈◊〉 off a Leg and sent her so the One-Leg●'d Crane was set on the Tab●e which the Gentleman seeing was enrag'd at his Cook but he being an arch Wag readily told the Gentleman that Cranes had but one Leg and avow'd it with that co●fidence that he gain'd upon his wise Masters belief but he resolving to observe it as he was walking in the Fields one Frosty Morning he saw a flock of Cranes and sending for his Cook they held up one of their Legs under their Wings as is the custom of those b●rds in the cool weather So says his Cook I hope your Worship is su●●fied that they have but one ●eg but the Gentleman going pretty near to them cries Cush and frighted them up wher●upon both Legs appear'● Look says the Gentleman they have now two Legs Oh says the Cook if you had cried Cush to that in the Dish it wou'd have had two Legs too 166. A Gentleman losing his Watch Complain'd to his his Frie●d of his loss Alas Sir says he all the World c●●'t help it Time will away 167. A Bully meeting a brisk Lady in St. Iame's Park with her naked Breasts appearing very tempting says to her Madam is that Flesh to be sold No replied she no money shall buy it Then says he Madam if you won't sell you Ware I 'd wish you to shut up your Shop Faith Sir says she you may be sure I 'll never let you come within my Doors ' T is no matter Madam replied he for I am sure they a●e wicked ones 168. A Person of Quality in the Countre● k●eping a Baboon at his Door with a handsome fine Co●ton a Countrey Fellow brought a Letter and gave it to the Baboon who tore it to pieces and the Lord happening to come out saw him do it at which he was angry with the Fellow and asked him why he delivered it not to him himself Why says the Fellow I gave it to your Son and he tore it You Fool says he 't is a Baboon Indeed says the Fellow I thought it was your Son he is so like you 169. A Woman having a mind to oblige her Husband desired him to invite some of his Friends to Dinner and they would be merry for says she I have provided a curious Leg of Mutton for you I thank you my Dear says he you are always very free of your Flesh to me and every body else that has any Appetite to it 170. Some S●holars having a spight against their Master bec●use ●of his Ha●shness to them resolved to play him some trick so knowing him to be a very curious neat Man they daubed the Railes of the Stairs with a Sir R Now the Master coming down in the dark laid his Hands in it which set him into a terrible feu'd so he called all the Schollars and took them into strict Examination but suspecting one above the rest he was very sharp upon him urging him to confess it telling him he did it the Boy utterly denied it but the Mas●er was the more pr●ssing upon him Indeed said the Lad with all the Asseverations imaginable I did it not but if you please I 'll tell you who had a hand in it Hereupon the Master thought to have found out the Truth and so very eagerly asked him who Your Worship Sir says he Whereupon he was dismissed with the applause of all his Fellows for his Ingenuity 171. A Merry Fellow in a great Storm at Sea when all were at Prayers Eat heartily on Salt-Beef and being asked his reason answered He should Drink more that day than ever he did in his life 172. Iohn Taylor the Water Poet being aboard the Ship called The Hector was so Treated with Punch by the Captain that it was easily perceived by the Seamen who began to play upon him whereupon Iohn in a Poetical rage invoked the Patron of the Ship