Lordship that sounds purely I vow my Aunt will Love me when I am a great Lady look here he is Governess Oh Gemini 't is a dear Man Sir John My little Angel this was kind the place appear'd Gloomy as Shades beneath till your bright Eyes exceeding the Stars created a double Day Luc. O la What fine Words he has Sir My Lord I mean I am a foolish Girl and know not how to answer but I am Young and not unapt to learn Gov. Nay I 'll say that for Miss she was ever as forward as the best of ' em Sir John Pretty Innocence She shall not want Instructions Modell'd by me the World will own her perfect Gov. And truly my Lord she has enough to pay her Teacher Sir John Hold hold Name not Wealth 't is a Dross I despise Luc. Fie Governess Do you think his Lordship Values Money Sir John Not I upon my Honor. Aside to Chris. Get it out of the Old One what she 's worth lest it prove not worth my while to follow her any longer Chris. Yes Sir yes Lucind. Now my Lord the reason why I have a mind to be Married is because I may have a little more freedom I never go any where now but that Old Woman 's at my heels and I have heard 'em say Wives go where they will and do what they will Sir John So sha't thou my dear Miss Aside Marry quotha more Words than One to that Bargain Luc. But when will you meet me here agen then and Run away with me For I was told I shou'd be Run away with They say most Fortunes are Chris. to Sir John Sir Twenty Thousand Pounds when she is at Age. Sir John Aside Very well Gad I 'le Marry her by that time I shall have spent it broke her Heart and be ready for another My dear Blossom how happy am I to have gain'd your Affections Tho' 't is no wonder for the Universality of Women dye for me Luc. For my part you spoke to me for that I like ye else truly Mr. pish my Lord I see as fine things walk here as you Sir John Oh fie Chris. This is true Nature a Baby indeed she has not yet learnt to Dissemble Sir John Can ye get out in a Morning my Dear Luc. Yes any time I am left wholly to my Governess and you won her heart t'other Morning with some Sack promise her some more and she 'l bring me I warrant Sir John There 's that will buy Sack Will ye bring Miss to Morrow by Five-a-Clock Gov. Yes yes she shall wait on your Honour no Body minds us at Home But we 'l serve e'm a Trick Chris. Sir Sir Mrs. Rich and the Company you left are just coming into this Walk Sir John My Dear Dear farewel One of my Relations that I dare not see Farewel this Instant keep these Verses to remember me and to Morrow Luc. Oh Gemini If I forget I 'l be hang'd I shan't sleep all Night for thinking on 't Good b' ye ' Is he not a pure Man Nurse Exeunt Sir John and Chris. Gov. Ay marry is he they shan't think to thrust us up in a Garret we 'l ha' Money and good things as well as your proud Aunt and her Folks Luc. Oh la Mum here 's my Aunt and all they upon our Backs what shall we say now Enter Mrs. Rich Lady la Basset and Mrs. Trickwel Mrs. Rich. This was furiously odd to desert us only with the Whim to show us Airs in Bowing when we meet Luc. Oh la furiously there 's a hard Word I 'll learn my Aunt 's Words that I may appear agreeable to my Lord furiously remember Governess Mrs. Rich. Mrs. Tickwel I am sick of the Park here 's neither the Beaux nor the Bellemond Really when Sir John's gone we search in Vain for Gallantry or a good appearance La Bass. I wonder how he durst quit the place when I was here Mr. Rich. You Mrs. Trick Upon my Life Madam the Ladies are all Mad for this miracle of a Knight I wish your Ladyship had him fix'd in the Matrimonial Noose that the rest may burst with Envy Mrs. Rich. Fear not Mrs. Trickwel I have him with a double Chain Love and Interest ha This Impertinent Girl here Lucind. Pray don't be angry Aunt Mrs. Rich. In the first place leave off that word Aunt and make use of Madam Or stay at home with your Father Lucin. But Aunt since you are my Aunt Why may I not call you Aunt Mrs. Rich. Why I being a Woman of Quality and you but a Citizen's Daughter I cannot in decency be your Aunt without degrading my self in some measure Luc. Oh good Aunt let not that concern you For I shall be a Woman of Quality too in a little time Mrs. Rich. What says the Girl Lucin. 'T is in my power to be as great a Lady as you Aunt at least Mrs. Rich. Child Lucin. I am acquainted with a Lord the handsomest and most obliging in the World I have met him several times in the Park and he 'l Marry me when I please therefore never trouble your self Aunt about my Quality Mrs. Rich. And what 's this Lord's Name Luc. They call him my Lord Fourbind he 's very Rich and of great Quality for he told me so Mrs. Rich. Truly Niece I am very well pleas'd that notwithstanding the mean Education your Father bestow'd on you you have thoughts worthy the honour I do you of suffering you to be my Niece and you are oblig'd to me and my Conversation for this Luc. I have another Obligation to desire Aunt Mrs. Rich. What is that Luc. To Marry as soon as 't is possible if you please Aunt the Gentleman you Love that it may Countenance my Marriage with him I Love that when my Father wou'd chide me I may answer him I have not done worse than my Aunt Mrs. Trick You 'r in the Right what a terrible thing is Example Aside Lucin. But my Aunt must make what hast she can my Lord Fourbind my Lover is most furiously impatient Mrs Rich. Ah! Mrs. Trickwel Now can I be reveng'd of Mr. Rich His Daughter is in Love with a Courtier and a Courtier with her and she 's Distracted to be Marry'd to him if the Father and Mother wou'd but dye with Vexation I shou'd be rid of troublesom Creatures Mrs. Trick But Madam are you resolv'd to assist your Niece in her Design Mrs. Rich. Certainly And I wou'd not for a Thousand Pound lose this excellent occasion of sending Mr. Rich. to Bedlam Mrs. Trick That is very charitable truly Mrs. Rich. Come Ladies let 's home to Dinner this News has pleas'd me My Niece and I will the Example lead Teach City-Dames the way to mend their Breed Chuse for our selves let our dull Parents pray Devoutly Cheat each others Lives betray And whilst they Drudge we 'l briskly throw away ACT IV. Enter Younger Clerimont Cler. WHat a Wretch am
Name and Lodging e'r I 'de accept the favour and now I have a Game to play wherein you must assist me Betty In what ever you desire Oh! Madam Sir John Roverhead is just upon us L. Landsworth What luck is this is there no avoiding the Fop Enter Sir John Roverhead and Chris. his Man Sir John Ha Chris. the beautiful wealthy Widow of the North. Chris. Why Sir she is not Mrs. Rich. Sir John Sagely discover'd but she 's better Mr. Wisdom more desirable and deeper in my Affections Chris. Your Pardon Sir I have done Sir John Stand back adjusting himself to Chris. L. Landsworth What postures the thing uses to make it more ridiculous than nature first design'd it Sir John Now to be florid To Chris. Sure some auspicious Planet rul'd to day for every Star is witness how often when I have made my Visit here I have sigh'd to see your Ladyship L. Lands Still taking Coach or Chair Have I not helpt you out Sir Sir John Lord Madam such beauty Wit and Dress what Man can bear L. Lands Such affectation folly and nonsense what Woman can indure Exit Sir John Ay hey Mrs. Betty what 's the meaning of this Betty The effect of her Country ignorance Sir John It must be so for I think Chris I am nicely Dress'd to day Chris. Ay but perhaps she likes the Inward-man Sir John She 's a fool that 's certain But Mrs. Betty I hope my Affairs stand well with your Lady this was but a trifle whom I address'd too with my universal Gallantry which had she receiv'd I should have laugh'd at my Valet knows 't is my way to all that make an appearance Chris. Under Fifty Sir John Or above if they make an appearance Betty Ay Sir John 't is you alone have the bewitching way Court all the World and catch my unweary Mistress by the by because 't is like Quality Sir John Like that 's degrading I 'de be an original like nothing Betty Nothing sure can be like you Sir John A witty Baggage this we must ingage her Chris. Withal my heart secure you the Mistress and let me alone for the Maid Sir John Well but Mrs. Betty after this idle chat shall we crave leave to see your Mistriss Betty You may and you only she 's at Cards Sir John I protest thou art charmingly dress'd and pretty I vow what Design have you to day Betty Is it to me you speak Sir Sir John To whom else Betty I thought like a Poet you were repeating and design'd the Complement for the next of Quality you met Sir John Fie fie let me dye if you are not the prettiest amiable Creature I know Prythee who makes thy Mantoe's how modestly the little Creature dresses her Head too Betty Ha ha ha this is excess of French breeding But Sir John you forget my Lady expects you Sir John I shall ever forget her when I look upon thee my Life my Soul She threw by her Knotting in haste Sings ho ho ho come along Chris. I 've shot her flying And caught me about my well shap'd wast Sings ho ho ho Exit Singing Betty So this is the high top Fool in my Lady's equipage the favour'd Fool and she has enough in her Train to give a Man of sense the spleen but to hear her Catalogue Well since Fortune has thrown me into this Chamber-maid Station I 'le revenge her Cruelty and plague her Favourites No 〈◊〉 by me shall e'er successful prove My Plots shall help the Man of Sense in Love ACT II. Enter Belvoir meeting Jack Belvoir HOw now Jack is thy Master within Jack No Sir Belvoir No Sir Let me come Morning Noon or Night still I am answer'd No Sir 't was by accident I found his Lodgings and I plainly perceive he is deny'd this is most injurious to our former Friendship quite contrary to the Contract made when we were fellow Students when I was only Clerimonts and Clerimont Belvoirs Jack Ay Sir my Master 's strangely alter'd but I dare not tell Belvoir Come for once I 'le tempt thee to a breach of Trust I may do him service I hear his Father 's dead Jack Ah Sir that 's his grief the very fountain of his Discontment Bell. Trust me Jack few Young Gentlemen use to break their Hearts for such a Loss Jack Yes if they are Younger Brothers and left not worth a Groat 't will go a great way with them a great way indeed Sir Bell. But he was the Old Lord's Favourit who had Land enough without entail to make my Clermont happy Jack Alas Mr. Bellvoir I find you know not our Story Bell. Not the particulars only what I 've heard from fame if thou believest me thy Masters Friend hide nothing from me Jack I do so notwithstanding his Commands you shall hear our misfortunes You know my Master's Elder Brother is a perfect Squire on my Conscience the product of two Virginities such an unaccountable Blockhead that tho' he gave the assured proof of spending his Fathers Estate and did it so ungenteely that he was despis'd by Men of Sense shun'd by all but the unthinking Rabble Rediculous even below Lampooning Bell. Why Jack the Town improves thee beyond the University thou grow'st Witty Jack No 't is the Approach of Poverty whets my Spleen I gad if I am reduc'd to Rags I 'll spare ne'r an Elder Brother of them all tho' he were a Prince Bell. A well a day for the poor Gentlemen in gilt Coaches But proceed to the matter good Friend John Jack Why this Dunce I think I call'd him before shatter Brains Bell. Hold. Jack Whose sole delight lay in his Kindred Hounds who for his Hunting Companions entertain'd all the Lubbers of the four adjacent Parishes till the Country was going to Petition the Parliament for Labourers this Monster of the Woods this Bell. Well what of him Jack Has got every Penny of my Old Lord's Estate whilst my Master the most deserving of his Race tho' I say it that should not is left to Starve Rob Drown or what he pleases Bell. But how came this to pass Jack ha Jack Why that damn'd jilt Fortune or her left-handed Daughter as blind as she Chance Belvoir A mischance upon my word Jack A confounded one My old Lord lay long Bed-rid of the Gout and the Wight I have describ'd liv'd in an Estate some few Miles distant one day Hunting that way he bethought himself and made his sick Father a Visit but knowing he could not sit a moment without talking to his beloved Jowler Ringwood c. takes the whole Kennel along with him into the Chamber whilst the t'other Kennel below I mean the Peasants were so sharp set they scarce left my Lord an unmaul'd Dish to come to his Table Bellvour Horrid filthy Brutes Jack In fine this so exasperated the old Man that in a rage he burnt his Will designing to leave my Master whatever was in his power but the malicious Fates
your Conduct La. Bas. aside Curse on him this is a sensible Fellow and my design 's lost Mr. Rich. And what are you a Lady Errant and this the ' Squire of the body He looks as if he had lived upon Adventures indeed La. Bas. No matter what I am I am mad Mr. Rich. I believe so Mrs. Rich. I shan't recover the fright this twelve month La. Bas. She wou'd bea Woman of Quality and dares not fight By the honour of my Ancestors I 'll go find out Sir John and if he does not change his resolution he and I shall dispute it Come along Vermin Ex. La. B. and Ver. Mr. Rich. Ha ha that wou'd be a pretty Combat in troth he dares not fight a Man This Woman will be an excellent match for him Dost thou yet see thy folly thy own and thy Instructor's folly These things teach thee to appear like the truly Great Alas mistaken wretch they are as far from noble Natures as light from darkness Mrs. Rich. I do begin to find my errour and am mending my Conversation yet think not tho' ye have humbled me you shall e'er bring me back to the City agen No I have still spirit enough to defie the City and all its works By my Stars I 'll never endure a greasie City Feast a set Custard is my aversion of all aversions as Olivia has it Mr. Rich. 'T is impossible to turn the Current of a Womans Will tho' it perpetually runs the wrong way Enter Mrs. Betty Bet. Oh Madam such a piece of Treachery such Perfidiousness have I discover'd Mrs. Rich. In whom My Stars this is a day of wonders Bet. Even Sir John going from your Ladyship in a huff because you smil'd upon the worthy Gentleman in disguise met your Niece she flew upon him with a violent Exclamation My Lord Fourbine your's intirely He answer'd in a passionate tone Ah mon cher I die for ye Mr. Rich. My Daughter Bet. Yes your Daughter and together they whisk'd cross the Gallery to Misses Apartment I left 'em there and came to inform your Ladyship Mrs. Rich. 'T is all Confusion and Amazement Mr. Rich. I am destracted my Daughter I 'll kick him burn his flaxen Wigg dirty his white Coat knock out his butter Teeth wring off his Nose and spoil him for being a Beau for ever Mrs. Rich. Whilst I conceal my self in one of the Closets if this be true Betty I have such a revenge shall make the Town ring on 't Bet. Do Madam aside to Mr. Rich Now Sir now 's the time to clear the house of the Locusts these swarm of Fools Mr. Rich. Set all thy wits at work my good girl Come shew me this happy couple I shall spoil their mirth I'gad Exeunt Enter Sir John Lucinda Chris and Governess Sir Joh. Beyond my wish Mrs. Rich's Niece the World shall applaud my revenge But my dear are you sure none of the Family will interrupt us Lucin. No no they mew me here eternally with that old Woman my Aunt hates a younger face than her own shou'd appear where she is I am not such a Child but I can find that Come hasten Governess pack up all my Jewels we 'll steal out at the back-door bid adieu to my sweet Aunt till my dear Lord and I visit her in a Coach and Six Sir Joh. That 's my Cherubim help Chris help I long to be gone Chris. My Lord we 'll ha down in a twinkling Lucin. But look you my Lord I must tell you my mind in two or three words before we go what you must trust to Do you see I am not furiously in Love as my Aunt says I run away only for more Pleasure more Liberty c. I will go every day to the Play or else to the Park and every time I go to the Park to the Lodge to Chelsey In fine where I please or as I run away with you I 'll run away from you sue for my own Fortune again and live as I please What I have heard how Ladies with Fortunes do Sir Joh. A young Gipsie this who 'd have thought it had been in her aside Mon cher ame you shall have your will Lucin. That you must expect my dear Lord for had I lov'd obedience I had still obey'd my Father And she that begins with her Father generally makes an end with her Husband but that 's furiously modish and therefore so much the better Quick quick good Governess and then ahey for disobedience Enter Mr. Rich and Betty Mr. Rich. And then ahey for disobedience Who is this my Daughter with her ahey for disobedience Lucin. O gemini my Father what shall I do now well I 'll e'en turn sides take my Father's part if he 's uppermost and rail at my Lord furiously Mr. Rich. Art thou the flaring Fop my hopeful Sister 's fond on descended from thy Dutchess Bed-Chamber to steal my Daughter Sir Joh. I am a Gentleman Sir and expect to be us'd like one Mr. Rich. 'T is false thou art not I have trac'd thy Original and found thou art none Lucin. O la not a Gentleman why he swore to me he was a Lord out upon him Sir Joh. Well said Miss I find we may e'en be marching for any friends we have here Thou unpolish'd thing I answer thy Affront with my Mein my Dress my Air all shew the Gentleman and give the lye to thy ill mannered Malice Mr. Rich. Defie me thou thing equip'd Canst thou justifie the worst of Thefts stealing my Child Draw Sir Joh. Your Pardon Sir not before the Lady I may discompose her perhaps the sight of a Sword may fright her into a fit Lucin. O la don't let me hinder ye Mr. Rich. Art thou not a Fool Sir Joh. A Fool alamode Sir Mr. Rich. A Coward Sir Joh. I am a Beau Sir Mr. Rich. All sound and no Sence Sir Joh. I sing tolerably well For who wou'd in a Cellar Dine when he may go to Locket's Mr. Rich. Thou trifling Coxcomb all Wig and no Brains begone this very Instant or I 'll lead thee thus by the Nose I 'll lead thee to a she Fop of thy acquaintance Coxcomb I will therefore make use of thy Heels Sir Joh. Egad this is very uncivil Mr. Rich. I meant it so Sir Joh. I 'll Lampoon thee till your Friends shall fly ye your Neighbours despise ye and the World laugh at ye Mr. Rich. I believe your Wit 's as dangerous as your Courage be gone Insect Lucin. Pretend to be a Lord and baulk a young Womans expectation Bet. Ah poor Sir John ha ha Sir Joh. Has she been a spectator I shall be jear'd to death I will study a revenge shall make you tremble I will thou barbarous Cit. Mr. Rich. Go set your Perriwig to rights fop ha ha Sir Joh. Curses Curses Ah I shall Choak Mr. Rich. Farewell fool you Madam I Exit Sir John shall find a time to discourse with dear Mrs. Betty take