Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
lord_n	damnation_n	drink_v	eat_v	10,899	5	8.2264	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
B06566	The experiences of God's gracious dealing with Mrs. Elizabeth White, late wife of Mr. Thomas White of Coldecot in the county of Bucks. / As they were written under her own hand, and found in her closet after her decease, she dying in child-bed, Decemb. 5. 1669.	White, Elizabeth, d. 1669.	1698 (1698)	Wing W1763; ESTC R186485	11,805	24

THE EXPERIENCES OF God's Gracious Dealing WITH Mrs. Elizabeth White Late Wife of Mr. Thomas White of Coldecot in the County of Bucks As they were written under her own hand and found in her Closet after her decease she dying in Child-bed Decemb. 5. 1669. PSAL. 66.16 Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul GLASGOW Printed by Robert Sanders One of His Majesties Printers Anno Dom. 1698. The Experiences of Gods Gracious dealing with Mrs. Elizabeth White FRom my Child-hood the Lord hath inclined my heart to seek after the best things and my Fathers chiefest care was to bring me up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord my nature being somewhat more mild than the rest of my Sisters I was ready to think my self some body and with the proud Pharisee to thank God that I was not as others not considering that I was but like a Wolf chained up which keeps its nature still as I by the goodness of God have seen since the Lord was pleased to lay his eye-salve upon me I was a great lover of Histories and other foolish Books and did often spend my sleeping-time in reading of them and sometimes I should think I did not do well in so doing but I was so bewitched by them that I could not forbear hearing of a friend of mine which was esteemed a very holy woman that did delight in Histories I then concluded it was no sin and gave my self wholly then to this kind of folly when I had any spare time for two or three years I had sometimes slight thoughts of Repentance but was loth to set about it and so I should put the Lord off from time to time with delays thinking still I should find a fitter time then the present I remember about a month before I was married my Father would have me receive the Sacrament of th● Lords Supper and I was very willing to it until I considered what was requsite to be in those which did partake thereof and then I began to doubt that I had not those things whic● were requisite wrought in me as Knowledge Faith Love Repentance c. and then this Scripture came into my mind He that doubteth is damned if he eat for whatsoever is not of faith is sin when I had considered those things I was filled with sorrow and could not tell what to do I was loth to disobey my Father and more loth to eat and drink my own damnation in this perplexity I set my self to seek the Lord for his grace being at that time somewhat sensible of the want of it when I had thus done I began to be comforted verily thinking that now I had repented and could believe in Christ Iesus and having some notional knowledge of things I was indiffe●ently well satisfied thinking that when I wa● married I should have more leisure to serv● God and then going to the Minister of th● Par●sh to be examined before I was admitted and finding my self able to answer him ● thought all was well with me then and so unworthy I went to the Lords Table not quest●oning but that I was in as good a condition a● any of the rest which did receive But blesse● for ever be the Lord which broke my false confidence and swept away my refuge of Lyes which I then trusted in and shewed me my sad condition I was in by nature and practise more clearly than ever before and this was about a quarter of a year after I was married in the year 1657. the Minister being upon this subject Prov. 1.23 Turn ye at my reproof c. being upon the use of trial whether indeed we had turned to God or no he bid us examine our selves by some marks which he then gave and it was at this time that God did begin to manifest his love to me as I trust in my effectual vocation here the Lord was pleased to open my heart as he did the heart of Lydia so that I attended to the things that were spoken so that I perceived my heart was not right in the sight of God and that my hope was but like that of the Hypocrite which perisheth when I came home I besought the Lord to turn me if I were not yet turned to him but yet I had not that thorow sense of sin as I had afterwards About three weeks after the Minister coming to our house my Husband and I was speaking that we would desire him to pray with us in our Chamber but that time he could not stay the next day he came and asked for me telling me that my Husband told him that I would speak with him O how was I surprized I could not tell what to say upon the sudden I was so hurried in my thoughts O how loth was I to acquaint him with my sad state ● I was ashamed to tell him that I was yet a stranger to God and all goodness till it was forced from me which when he heard he did not go about to comfort me but he asked me if ever I was convicted before and I told him yes and he repeated the first vers of the 29. Chap. of the Proverbs He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shal suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy when I heard this I was wonderfully troubled then there came many sins to my remembrance which I had taken no notice of before counting them small sins now the time which was spent in reading Histories I remembred with bitter grief and I thought that there was no mercy for me but he perswaded me there was hope of mercy for such as I and that the Lord waited to be gracious to poore sinners and then I was a little satisfied for the present but then I was troubled with blasphemous thoughts which were very grievous to me I thought I had a heart worse than the Devil and wondered that I was not consumed in some strange manner when I have seen a Spider which of all things is most loathsome to me I have been ready to wish my self such a one esteeming of it to be in a far happier condition than I was I was afraid to be in the dark lest I should met the devil I doubted whether I was elected I had read that I was not of him that willeth nor him that runneth but of God that sheweth mercy Then I thought if I were not elected it was to no purpose to strive for what God hath decreed must be but yet I was unwilling to perish I could not be so satisfied although I had but little hope to obtain mercy yet I could not but ask it I was also very frequent in hearing the Word preached and read not daring to let slip an opportunity but not without many tears lest it should increase my condemnation in this condition I remained a great while but not without some secret supports from the Lord sometimes by a word cast in upon

but whilst I was considering of these things I had this Scripture set home with abundance of sweetness Psalm 50.15 Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie me and in the time of my extremity this word was set home upon my heart again and my good God made me to experience the truth of it in a wonderful manner for I had speedy deliverance beyond my expectation which filled my heart and mouth with praises to the Lord about three days after a friend coming to visit me I related to her how good the Lord had been unto me and how sweetly my heart was established but no sooner was my friend gone but I was tempted to think my faith was false but I labored what I could to encourage my self in the Lord my God But as I lay in my bed I thought I saw three men before me and it was presently suggested to me that these were the three persons in the Trinity O then I was very much troubled but I knew I was under a temptation and therefore cryed to the Lord for help but was not p●esently delivered from it but I had this Scripture brought to my mind No man shal see my face and live Exod. 33.20 But not being yet freed I began to consider what I had heard and read as means to help against such temptations at last I remembred that Mr. Bolton in his Book of instructions for the right comforting of afflicted consciences gave this direction after the party had prayed for help against the Tempter and done what they could in repelling him by the Word of God that if they were yet followed by Satan that then they should set about some honest imployment but now I was in Bed and knew not what to set about for the present at last I resolved to try to suckle my Child which I did and then lay down again and found that I was pretty well freed from that temptation and finding my self much distempered in my head I desired the Lord to give me rest and went about to compose my self to sleep but as I lay I thought Satan stood before me asking where I could find a promise for sleep at present I could not think of any but after some study this was brought into my mind The Lord will give his beloued sleep this word comforted me but yet I could not all that night get any sleep but still thought I saw Satan laughing at me because I had no sleep and yet trusted in his word thus all the night I continued weak in body and comfortless in mind so that in the morning I expected nothing but death then beginning to think more seriously of my change Satan as I then thought asked me where was my assurance of my everlasting happiness at this I was very much troubled knowing I had not full assurance but yet some good hope through the goodness of God I had therefore my heart made answer it is true I have no assurance but I have cast my self wholly upon the Lord Christ and in him only is my hope and here will I rest and if I perish I perish but sure I am such shall not perish for Christ hath promised them eternal life Thus being assisted by the Lord I vanquished Satan for that time and being thus at peace I quickly fell asleep and dreamed there was a Ladder set upon the earth whose top reached to heaven and I thought I was to go up that Ladder into heaven that as fast as I got up I was pulled down again which caused me to shed abundance of tears fearing that I should never get up and I thought something from above drew me by the arms but I could not see what but at last I thought I was in heaven where all tears were wiped from mine eyes and I was filled with rejoycing but when I had been there a little while I thoght I was to go back again to the earth and this very much troubled me but then I thought I heard a voice saying it would be but for a little while and that I should die in Child-bed and that the night before I dyed I should have full assurance this very much rejoyced me and I was very desirous to know of what child I should dye but that was denyed me upon this account because I should be always prepared but when I did awake I was filled with unexpressible joy earnestly longing to be dissolved and to be with Christ which was best of all and yet willing if the Lord pleased to suffer any thing which might be inflicted on me Then I remembred how Satan when I was about to turn to God would present the sufferings of Gods people to me thinking by that means to turn me back again and how I should be discouraged by them but being filled with the joys of Gods Spirit I thought I could suffer any thing not wondering as I had done how the Saints of old could bear up so bravely under their sufferings But after I began to amend my joys were not so full as they had been but I had a more setled peace than formerly I had blessed be the Lord I had many various changes in my spirituall state but once having a great sense of a hard heart and being desirous to have it molified I was tempted to do some great evil as the only means to break me and that it might be the readier entertain'd Satan put it into my heart to consider the condition of Nathaniel Butler whose heart was unbroken till the commission of that horrid sin of murder and then this great evil brought him to a sight and sense of all sin this temptation was very strong upon me but yet stronger was he that was with me than he that was against me for at that very instant did the Lord cast into my heart that happy word Rom. 8.3 Let us do evil that good may come whose damnation is just This word proved a happy means to repel the temptation but yet this mercy I had forgot till the Lord revived it upon my heart almost two years after as I was reading the Chapter And since my Child was weaned I was in such a state of deadness and darkness that I thought if I was ever raised out of it I should never question my condition again I was tempted to think that the Scripture was not the word of God I had let out my affection in a wonderful measure to my Child and yet my Lord forsook me not but dispelled my darkness and filled me with rejoycing O What shal I render to him After this I grew into another damp and was raised again and I trust the Lord will keep me notwithstanding all the mist which shall be raised in my heart by sin and Satan even by his power through faith unto Salvation These Scriptures revived me 〈◊〉 several times when I was in heaviness fo● want of the presence of God at the