protestations and it is generous to cherish their health to attend them in their sickness to comply with their harmless humours to entertain their discourses to accompany their persons to yield to their lawfull desires and to commend their good graces and that man which is a Husband and doth not do thus is worthy to be shamed and not to be kept company with which is not called an Uxorious Husband for said I an Uxorious Husband I understand to be a honest carefull and wise Husband Lady Ignorance And what said they after you said this Sir P. Studious They laugh'd and said my flowery Rhetorick was strewed upon a dirty ground I answered it was not dirty where I lived for my wife was beautifull chaste and cleanly and I wished every man the like and after they perceived that neither the railing nor laughing at good Husbands could not temper me for their palats they began to play and sport with one another and sung wanton songs and when all their baits failed they quarreled with me and said I was uncivil and that I did not entertain them well and that I was not good Company having not a conversable wit nor a gentle behaviour and that I was not a gallant Cavalier and a world of those reproches and idle discourses as it would tire me to repeat it and you to hear it Lady Ignorance Pray resolve me one question more what was it you said to the Lady Amorous when she threatned to tell me Sir P. Studious I only said nature was unkind to our Sex in making the beautifull females cruel Lady Ignorance Was that all I thought you had pleaded as a courtly Sutor for loves favours Sir P. Studious No indeed but let me tell you and so inform you wife that those humour'd women take as great a pleasure to make wives jealouse of their Husbands and Husbands jealouse of their wives and to seperate their affections and to make a disorder in their Families as to plot and design to intice men to court them Cuckold their Husband also let me tell you that much company and continual resort brings great inconveniences for its apt to corrupt the mind and make the thoughts wild the behaviour bold the words vain the discourse either flattering rude or tedious their actions extravagant their persons cheap being commonly occompanyed or their company common Besides much variety of Company creates amorous luxurie vanity prodigality jealousie envie malice slander envie treachery quarrels revenge and many other evils as laying plots to insnare the Honourable to accuse the Innocent to deceive the Honest to corrupt the Chaste to deboyst the Temperate to pick the purse of the Rich to inslave the poor to pull down lawfull Authority and to break just Laws but when a man lives to himself within his own Familie and without recourse after a solitary manner he lives free without controul not troubled with company but entertains himself with himself which makes the soul wise the mind sober the thoughts industrious the understanding learned the heart honest the senses quiet the appetites temperate the body healthfull the actions just and prudent the behaviour civil and sober He governs orderly eats peaceably sleeps quietly lives contentedly and most commonly plentifully and pleasantly ruling and governing his little Family to his own humour wherein he commands with love and is obeyed with duty and who that is wise and is not mad would quit this heavenly life to live in hellish Societies and what can an honest Husband and wife desire more than love peace and plenty and when they have this and is not content 't is a sign they stand upon a Quagmire or rotten Foundation that will never hold or indure that is they are neither grounded on honesty nor supported with honour Lady Ignorance Well Husband I will not interupt your studies any longer but as you study Phylosophie Wisdom and Invention so I will study obedience discretion and Houswifery Omnes Exeunt ACT III Scene 15. Enter the General and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Affectionata Were you never bred to the Discipline of War Affectionata Never my Lord but what I have been since I came to you Lord Singularity Why thou didst speak at the Council of War as if thou hadst been an old experienced souldier having had the practice of fourty years which did so astonish the grave Senators and old Souldiers that they grew dumb and for a while did only gaze on thee Affectionata Indeed my Lord my young years and your grave Counsel did not suit together Lord Singularity But let me tell thee my boy thy rational and wise speeches and that grave counsels was not mis-match'd Affectionata Pray Heaven I may prove so as your favours and your love may not be thought misplaced Lord Singularity My Love thinks thee worthy of more than I can give thee had I more power than Caesar had Exeunt Scene 16. Enter some Commanders 1. COmmander I hear that the Duke of Venice is so taken with our Generals adopted Son as he will adopt him his Son 2. Commander Hay-day I have heard that a Father hath had many Sons but never that one Son hath had so many Fathers but contrary many Sons wants fathering 3. Commander 'T is true some Sons hath the misfortune not to be owned but let me tell you Lieutenant there be few children that hath not many such Fathers as one begets a childe a second owns the childe a third keeps the childe which inherits as the right Heir and if a fourth will adopt the childe a fift or more may do the like if they please 1. Commander So amongst all his Fathers the right Father is lost 3. Commander Faith the right Father of any childe is seldome known by reason that women takes as much delight in deceiving the World and dissembling with particular men as in the cuckolding their Husbands 2. Commander The truth is every several Lover cuckolds one another 1. Commander Perchance that is the reason that women strives to have so many Lovers for women takes pleasure to make Cuckolds 3. Commander And Cuckolds to own children Exeunt Scene 17. Enter Affectionata then enters to him two or three Venetian Gentlemen as Embassadors from the Duke of Venice 1. GEntleman Noble Sir the great Duke of Venice hath sent us to let you know he hath adopted you his Son and desires your company Affectionata Pray return the great Duke thanks and tell him those favours are too great for such a one as I but if he could and would adopt me as Augustus Caesar did Tiberius and make me master of the whole World by Heaven I would refuse it and rather chose to live in a poor Cottage with my most Noble Lord 2. Gentleman But you must not deny him Besides he will have you Affectionata I will dye first and rather chose to bury my self in my own tears than build a Throne with ingratitude 1. Gentleman But it is ungratefull to deny the Duke
or Wife to the Lord de L'amour 6. Passive the Lady Innocences maid 7. Falshood an informer to maids of the Lady Incontinent Physitians Natural Philosophers Moral Philosophers young Students Souldiers Lovers Mourners Virgins Servants and others ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love and his wife the Mother Lady Love MOther Love Husband you have a strange nature that having but one child and never like to have more and this your childe a daughter that you should breed her so strictly as to give her no time for recreation nor no liberty for company nor freedom for conversation but keeps her as a Prisoner and makes her a slave to her book and your tedious moral discourses when other children have Play-fellows and toyes to sport and passe their time withall Father Love Good wife be content doth not she play when she reads books of Poetry and can there be nobler amiabler finer usefuller and wiser companions than the Sciences or pleasanter Play-fellows than the Muses can she have freer conversation than with wit or more various recreations than Scenes Sonets and Poems Tragical Comical and Musical and the like Or have prettier toyes to sport withall than fancie and hath not the liberty so many hours in the day as children have to play in Mother Love Do you call this playing which sets her brain a working to find out the conceits when perchance there is none to find out but are cheats and cozens the Readers with empty words at best it fills her head but with strange phantasmes disturbs her sleep with frightfull dreams of transformed bodyes of Monsters and ugly shaped vices of Hells and Furies and terrifying Gods of Wars and Battles of long travels and dangerous escapes and the pleasantest is but dark groves gloomy fields and the happiest condition but to walk idly about the Elizium fields and thus you breed your daughter as if your Posterity were to be raised from a Poets phantastical brain Father Love I wish my Posterity may last but as long as Homers lines Mother Love Truly it will be a fine airey brood No no I will have her bred as to make a good houswife as to know how to order her Family breed her Children govern her Servants entertain her Neighbours and to fashion herself to all companies times and places and not to be mewed and moped up as she is from all the World insomuch as she never saw twenty persons in one company in all her life unless it be in pictures which you set her to stare on above an hour everyday Besides what Father doth educate their Daughters that office belongs to me but because you have never a Son to tutor therefore you will turn Cotqucan and teach your daughter which is my work Father Love Let me tell you Wife that is the reason all women are fools for women breeding up women one fool breeding up another and as long as that custom lasts there is no hopes of amendment and ancient customs being a second nature makes folly hereditary in that Sex by reason their education is effeminate and their times spent in pins points and laces their study only vain fashions which breeds prodigality pride and envie Mother Love What would you have women bred up to swear swagger gaming drinking Whoring as most men are Father Love No Wife I would have them bred in learned Schools to noble Arts and Sciences as wise men are Mother Love What Arts to ride Horses and fight Dewels Father Love Yes if it be to defend their Honour Countrey and Religion For noble Arts makes not base Vices nor is the cause of lewd actions nor is unseemly for any Sex but baseness vice and lewdnesse invents unhandsome and undecent Arts which dishonours by the practice either Sex Mother Love Come come Husband I will have her bred as usually our Sex is and not after a new fashioned way created out of a self-opiniated that you can alter nature by education No no let me tell you a woman will be a woman do what you can and you may assoon create a new World as change a womans nature and disposition Enter the Lady Sanspareille as to her Father as not thinking her Mother was there Sanspareille O Father I have been in search of you to ask you a question concerning the Sun When she sees her Mother she starts back Mother What have you to do with the Sun and lives in the shade of the Worlds obscuritie Sansp. VVhy Madam where would you have me live can I live in a more serene aire than in my Fathers house or in a purer or clearer light than in my Parents eyes or more splendrous than in my Parents company Mother I would have you live at Court there to have honour favour and grace and not to lose your time ignorantly knowing nothing of the VVorld nor the VVorld of you Sansp. Can I live with more honour than with my Father and You or have more favour than your loves or is there a greater grace than to be Daughter of vertuous Parents can I use or imploy my time better than to obey my Parents commands need I know more than honesty modesty civility and duty As for the VVorld mankind is so partial to each self as they have no faith on the worth of their Neighbour neither doth they take notice of a Stranger but to be taken notice of Mother Love Yes yes your beauty will attract eyes and ears which are the doors to let in good opinion and admiration Sansp. Had I a tongue like a Cerces-wand to charm all ears that heard me it would straight transform men from civil Obligers to spitefull Detractors or false Slanderers my beauty may only serve but as a bribe to tempt men to intrap my youth and to betray my innocency Mother To betray a fools-head of your own Lord Lord how the dispositions of Youth is changed since I was young for before I came to your Age I thought my Parents unnaturall because they did not provide me a Husband Sanspareille If all youth were of my humour their dispositions are changed indeed for Heaven knows it is the only curse I fear a Husband Mother Love Why then you think me curst in Marrying your Father Sansp. No Madam you are blest not only in being a Wife a condition you desired but being marryed to such a man that wishes could not hope for Mother Love Why then my good Fortune may encourage you and raise a hope to get the like Sansp. O no! It rather drives me to dispair beleiving there is no second Mother Love Come come you are an unnatural Child to flatter your Father so much and not me when I endured great pains to breed bear and nurse you up Sansp. I do not flatter Madam for I speak nothing but my thoughts and that which Love and duty doth allow and truth approve of Father Love Come come Wife the Jeerals wit will out-argue both ours Ex. Scene 2. Enter the
desire to be your Shepheard and you my fair Shepheardess attending loving thoughts that feed on kisses sweet folded in amorous arms Poor Virtue My mind never harbors wanton thoughts nor sends immodest glances forth nor will infold unlawful love for chastity sticks as fast unto my Soul as light unto the Sun or heat unto the fire or motion unto life or absence unto death or time unto eternity and I glory more in being chast than Hellen of her beauty or Athens of their learning and eloquence or the Lacedemonions of their Lawes or the Persians of their Riches or Greece of their Fables or the Romans of their Conquests and Chastity is more delightfull to my mind than Fancy is to Poets or Musick to the Ears or Beauty to the Eyes and I am as constant to Chastity as truth to Unity and Death to life for I am as free and pure from all unchastity as Angels are of sin Poor Virtue goes out Lord Title alone Lord Title I wonder not so much at Fortunes gifts as Natures curiosities not so much at Riches Tittle and power as Beauty VVit and Virtue joyn'd in one besides she doth amaze me by expressing so much learning as if she had been taught in some famous Schools and had read many histories and yet a Cottager and a young Cottager t is strange Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and Mr. Adviser ADviser My Lord doth my Counsel take good effect Lord Courtship Yes faith for she seems to take it very patiently or elce she is so dull a Creature as she is not sensible of any injury that 's done her Adviser How doth she look when you adress and salute your Mistriss Lord Courtship She seems to regard us not but is as if she were in a deep contemplation of another world Adviser I think she is one of the fewest words for I never heard her speak Lord Courtship Faith so few as I am in good hope she is tongue-tyed or will grow dumb Adviser That would be such a happiness as all married men would envy you for Lord Courtship They will have cause for there is nothing so tedious as talking women they speak so constraintly and utter their Nonsence with such formality and ask impertinent questions so gravely or else their discourse is snip snap or so loud and shrill as deafs a mans ears so as a man would never keep them Company if it were not for other reasons Adviser Your Lordship speaks as if you were a woman-hater Lord Courtship O Pardon me for there is no man loves the Sex better than I yet I had rather discourse with their beauty than their wits besides I only speak of generalities not particularities Ex. Scene 16. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Sir Humphrey Interruption INterruption Lady pray make me partaker of some of your conceptions Contempl. My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour that after he hath spoke if he were to speak upon the same subject he could hardly do it if it were not impossible just to speak as he did as to express the same subjects in the same expressions and way of his natural Rhetorick for the sense may be the same but the expressions way of Rhetorick wil hardly be the same but 't is likely will be very different and so differing as not to be like the same but the same premeditated Rhetorick will many times serve to many several designs or preaching pleading or speaking the Theam or cause being altered This is the difference betwixt extemporary Oratory and premeditated Oratory the one may be spoke as many times as an Orator will and make the same Oratory serve to many several Subjects the other being not fixt but voluntary vanishes out of the remembrance the same many times do my conceptions Interrup. But I hope all are not vanished some remain wherefore pray expresse or present any one of your conceptions after what manner of way you please Contempl. Why then I will tell you I had a conception of a Monster as a Creature that had a rational soul yet was a Fool It had had a beautiful and perfect shape yet was deformed and ill-favoured It had clear distinguishing senses and yet was sencelesse It was produced from the Gods but had the nature of a Devil It had an eternal life yet dyed as a Beast It had a body and no body Interrup. What Monster call you this Contempl. I call him Man Interrup. This is a Man of your own conception Contemp. A man of Natures creating is as monstrous for though man hath a rational soul yet most men are fools making no use of their reason and though Man hath a beautiful and perfect shape yet for the most part they make themselves deformed and ill-favoured with antick postures violent passions or brutish vices and man hath clear distinguishing Senses yet in his sleep or with fumes or drink he is sencelesse Man was produced immediately from the Gods yet man being wicked and prone to evil hath by evil wickednesse the nature of a Devil Man 't is said shall live for ever as having an eternal life yet betwixt this life and the other he dyes like a Beast and turns to dust as other Creatures do but the only difference between the man Nature creates and the man my Conceptions create is that Natures man hath a real substance as a real body whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea which is an incorporal man so as the body of my concepted man is as the soul of Natures created man an incorporality Ex. Scene 17. Enter the Lord Title and Mall Mean-bred LOrd Title Well I have lost my first Course in Love and now like an angry bloody Gray-hound I will down with the first I meet were she as innocent as a Dove or as wise as a Serpent down she goes Enter Mall Mean-bred But soft here 's Loves game and I le flye at her Fair One for so you are Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I am but a Blouse Lord Title Think better of your self and believe me Mall Mean My Father hath told me I must not believe a Gentleman in such matters Lord Title Why sweetest I am a Lord Mall Mean A Lord Lord blesse your Worship then but my Father gave me warning of a Lord he said they might nay say and swear too and do any thing for they were Peers of the Realm there was no medling with them he said without a Rebellion blesse me from a Lord for it is a naughty thing as they say I know not Lo. Title Do you value me so little when I can make you an Apocryphal Lady Mall Mean The Apocrypha forsooth is out of my Book I have been bred purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha the Gods blesse us from it and from all such ill things Lo. Title Well in short will you love me Mall Mean I am so ashamed to love a Lord forsooth that I know not how to behave my self Lo. Title
Courts It is beyond the power of Iove to please the various humours of Woman-kind Exit Scene 29. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman There was never so many Noble Persons Married in one day in one City I think before those that are to Marry to morrow 2 Gentlem. Who are they 1 Gentlem. Why do you not hear 2 Gentlem. No 1 Gentlem. Surely you have been either dead or deaf 2 Gentlem. I have been in the Country 1 Gentlem. That is some reason indeed but the Newes of the City uses to travel in Letters on Post-horses into the Country 2 Gentlem. No faith for the most part they come in slow Waggons but tell me who those are that are to be Maried to morrow 1 Gentlem. Why first there is the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue Secondly the Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard Thirdly there is Sir Famit Poet and the Lady Contemplation Fourthly the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc'd Traveller And fifthly the Lady Visitant and Sir Humphry Interruption 2 Gentlem. I will do my endeavour to see them all for I will go to each Bridal House 1 Gentlem. How will you do so being all maried on a day 2 Gentlem. Why I will bid Good-morrow to the one and I will goe to Church with another and dine with the third and dance the afternoon with the fourth and see the fifth a bed 1 Gentlem. That you may do Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Mistris Troublesome and her Maid MIstris Troubles Lord there are so many Weddings to be to morrow as I know not which to go to Besides I shall displease those I go not to being invited to them all Maid If you would displease neither of them you must feign your self sick and go to none of them Mistris Troubles None of them say you that would be a cause to make me die for I would not but be a guest to one of them for any thing could be given me But I am resolved to go to the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc'd Travellers Wedding for there there will be the most company and it is company that I love better than the Wedding-cheer for much company is a Feast to me Maid Truly Mistris I wonder you should delight in company you being in years Mistris Troubles Out you naughty Wench do you say I am old Maid No indeed I did not name old Mistris Troubles Then let me tell you that those women that are in years seek company to divulge their Wit as youth to divulge their Beauty and we Aged Wits may chance to catch a Lover from a young Beauty But I should applaud my own wit if it could contrive to bring each Bride and Bridegroom into one Assembly making Hymen's Monarchy a Republick where all should be in common Maid So Mistriss you would prove a Traytor to Hymen which is a Bawd Mistris Troubles Faith I will turn you away for your boldness Enter Mistris Gossip O Mistris Gossip you are welcome what Newes Mistris Gossip I am come to tell you that the five Bridals meet with their Guests and good Cheer at the City-Hall and make their several Companies Joyning as one as one Body and there will be such Revelling as the like was never before Mistris Troubles Iuno be thanked and Venus be praised for it for I was much perplex'd concerning their Divisions till you came and brought me this good Newes of their Corporation Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue as his Bride both of them richly attired and Old Humanity following them LOrd Title Come Old Humanity and be our Father to ioyn and give us in the Church and then when we are Maried we will live a Country-life I as a Shepherd and this Lady as my Fair Shepherdess Exeunt Scene 32. Enter the Lady Ward as a Bride and her Nurse Nurse Careful NUrse Careful My dear Child you appear as a sweet budding Rose this morning Lady Ward Roses are beset with thorns Nurse I hope I am not so Nurse Caref. By 'r Lady your Husband may prove a thorn if he be not a good man and a kind Husband but Oh my heart doth ake Lady Ward Wherefore doth it ake Enter Lord Courtship as a Bridegroom Lord Courts Come Sweet are you ready for it is time to go to Church it is almost twelve a clock Lady Ward I am ready but my Nurse doth affright me by telling me her heart doth ake as if she did fore-know by her experien'd age some ill fortune towards me or that I shall be unhappy in my mariage Lord Courts Her heart doth not ake for you but for her self because she cannot be a young fair bride as you are as being past her youth so that her heart doth ake out of a sad remembrance of her self not for a present or a future cause for you Nurse Caref. Well well I was young indeed and a comely bride when I was maried though I say it and had a loving bridegroom Heaven rest his soul Exeunt Scene 33. Enter the Lady Visitant as a Bride to the Lady Conplation another Bride LAdy Visit. Come I have brought all my bridal guests hither to joyn with yours for we will go to Church together Wherefore prethee come away our Bridegrooms and our Guests stay for you Lady Contempl. I will go to them by and by Lady Visit. Why I hope you do not stay to muse upon Phantasmes saith Mariage will banish them out of your head you must now imploy your time with Realities Lady Contempl. If I thought Mariage would destroy or disturb my Contemplations I would not marry although my Wedding-guests were come and my Wedding-dinner ready drest and my Wedding-cloaths on nay were I at the holy Altar I would return back Lady Visit. That would be such an action as all the Kingdome would say you were mad Lady Contem. I had rather all the World should not only say I were mad but think me so rather than my self to be unhappy Lady Visit. Can want of Contemplation make you unhappy Lady Contem. Yes as unhappy as a body can be without a soul for Contemplation is the life of the soul and who can be happy that hath a dead soul Lady Visit. By my troth I had rather be dead than have such a dull life Enter Maid Maid Madam the Bridegroom is coming hither Lady Contempl. I will prevent him and meet him Exeunt Scene 34. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. Come away come away they 'l be all married before we shall get to Church 2 Gentlem. There will be enough Witnesses we may well be spared but so I share of the Feast I care not whether they be married or not 1 Gentle The truth is the benefit to us will be only in eating of their meat and drinking of their wine 2 Gentlem. And I mean to be drunk but not for joy of their Mariages but for pleasure of my Gusto Exeunt Scene 35. Enter the five Couples and all the Bridal Guests The Bridegrooms and
Sir Disguise Then inquire for a mans-Tailor to make me some Cloaths for I am not Accoutred fit for a Bridal-House Skipper I shall Sir Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Maids of Sir John Dotards 1 MAid 'Faith I will go and inquire out a new service for I will never be box'd by my fellow-servant that was although now she is prefer'd to be House-keeper 2 Maid How came the quarrel betwixt you 1 Maid Why now forsooth she is come to Order and to Rectifie she 's not only grown light-finger'd but fine-finger'd as to touch nothing that is not bright-scour'd nor then neither without her gloves and she calld for a candle and a candlestick to carry into my Masters Chamber and I for haste run up with the candle and forgot the candlestick and had left it behind me when I came what said she do you bring a candle without a candlestick Alas said I I have forgot it but hold you the candle said I and I will run and fetch the stick strait and so I put the candle into her hand with that she up with her hand and gave me a box on the ear what said she do you give me a greasie candle to hold I will teach you more manners said she against the next time I being heated at the blow she gave me cold her that she had forgot since the Mouse bit her greasie face when she was asleep taking it for a candles-end or a piece of bacon with that she flew upon me and I at her where in the combat we made such a noise as my Master came forth of his Chamber and parted us and then he bid me get me out of his house but kiss'd her and pray'd her to pacifie her anger and not to distemper her self with a rude wench as I was 2 Maid And what said she then 1 Maid Why she told my Master I was a naughty Baggage a dirty Slur a base Whore and all the ill names she could but I will not suffer this for I will be gone 1 Maid Nay let us stay until we are provided of other Services Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise And is he maried O that I could pull out that part of my Brain which imprints his memory for the wrongs he hath done me are so great and heavy as I wish I could unload my Soul and build a Pyramide of Curses that may stand as a mark of his Infamy She studies a little time then speaks I had rather banish my self than live in disgrace in my own Countrey Exit ACT II. Scene 16. Enter the Lord VVidower and Doll Subtilty SUbtilty 'Faith my Lord your Daughter is so jealous of me as she sayes I am always in your Lordships Chamber Lord Why so thou art most commonly although not always Subtilty But yet it is not fit Children should examine their Parents actions and it were an indiscretion in Parents to allow of it Lord She is young she is young Subtilty Wherefore your Lordship should have a care to have her prudently govern'd and if she be too young to govern her self how can she govern so great a Family as your Lordships is Lord O she hath but the name my Steward governs all Subtilty Yes but the Mistris of the House governs the Steward and the Steward gives Orders as an Inferiour Officer delivering the Superiours commands Lord You say true wherefore you that have some more experience should counsel her Subtilty O my Lord 't is not manners for me to give her counsel neither will she take it from me for when I humbly offer her my Advice she checks me and threatens to turn me away Lord Doth she so But I will have her to take counse and to know she is too young to order after her own childish fancy Subtilty Indeed my Lord she wants years which should make her experienc'd Sweet child she is fitter to dress Babies and order a Closet than govern a great Family which is a little Common-wealth Lord Well I will order her otherwise Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Bride the Bridegroom Sir James Hearty and all the Bridal Guests Then enters a servant to the Bridegroom Sir Francis Inconstant SErvant Sir there is a young Gentleman desires to speak with your Worship Inconstant What manner of man is he Servant A sweet-fac'd young man by my Troth Sir Inconstant Of what Country seems he to be Servant Of your own Countrey Sir Inconstant Direct him in Enter Monsieur Disguise Disguise Sir I was commanded by a young Lady to give you this Letter Sir Francis reads it and in the reading seems very much troubled Inconstant She writes as if she were dying when she writ this letter Disguise She was dying indeed for the last act she did was to give me this letter and the last words she spoke were Pray see this letter safe convey'd and so she dy'd Lady Inconstant What makes you so pale on a sudden Husband Sir Fran. Incon. I am not well and therefore I must goe to my Chamber But pray Sweet-heart stay you here lest my being ill shoald disturb our Guests Lady Inconstant Do you think I can entertain them if you be sick Sir Fran. Incon. I am not so sick as to be nurs'd although not so well as to delight in company for I am rather melancholy than any other way distemper'd Lady Inconst. What makes you melancholy Sir Fran. Incon. Why a dear Friend of mine is dead He sighs a great sigh But Sweet-heart pray excuse me to the company and pray let this Gentleman my noble Friend be well treated Lady Inconst. I shall obey your command Sir Francis goes out Sir Iam. Hearty What is my Son-in-law gone Lady Inconst. Sir he desires you and the rest of the company would excuse him for he hath heard of the death of a Friend which makes him so melancholy as he saith that his dull and indispos'd humour would disturb the mirth of our noble Friends Sir Iam. Hearty 'T is a sign he is young that he is so tender-natur'd and so soft-hearted to mourn and grieve for those that die but when he comes to Age he will only commend his friends that are dead but not grieve for them for Pity wears out as Age increases Lady Inconst. Pray Sir let me intreat you to be one of our Guests Disguise You shall command me Lady Sir Tho. Cuckold Nay since the Gentleman hath brought such Newes as hath banished the Bridegroom from the Company he shall now supply his place Sir Hum. Disagree Soft Sir he may at the Board but not in his Bed Sir Hen. Courtly He looks so modestly as if he would play the part of a Bride rather than a Bridegroom Disguise Lady will you accept of my modest service Lady Inconst. Sir I must not refuse Modesty Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Maid-servants of Sir John Dotards 1 MAid 'T is no wonder that Briget Greasie is so proud now being maried to my Master he
having made her a Lady Lord Lord to see the fortune that some have over others why if my Master would have maried one of his Maids he might have chosen a prettier wench amongst any of us all than she is 2 Maid Yes 'faith for she was thought the veriest Puss of us all for she is neither snout-fair nor well-shap'd she hath splay-feet and chilblainheels 1 Maid Nay all will grant she was the dirtiest slut in the House for there was never a man-servant but would cry so at her when they kiss'd her besides she was the veriest fool amongst us But Lord what Wealth and Honour will do for now she is a Lady she looks as if she never wash'd a dish or scour'd a kettle or spit 2 Maid But I wonder how she came to be his Wife she might have served as her Betters have done before her I am sure there was Nan a pretty pert cleanly Maid who was kind and willing to do any thing either to serve our Master or fellow servants 1 Maid O but Nan had not an old woman that us'd to come to her to get suet and scraps as Briget had and this old woman they say counsell'd Briget to seem nice and coy 2 Maid I wonder what Richard the Carter will say who was turned out of his service because he should not share with my Master 1 Maid 'Faith I heard that Richard was told of her Advancement and 't is said he laugh'd and said my Master had a hungry stomach that he could feed of his leavings but by his Troth he was glad she was become a Lady for now he could say he had kiss'd and courted a Lady as well as the best Gallant of them all Exeunt Scene 19. Enter the Lord Widower and the Lady Sprightly his Daughter LOrd Daughter although you do govern my Family very well for your years yet you are young and wanting Experience may be cozened and though I have a great Estate yet it will be all consum'd if Order and Method be not put into practice wherefore I would have you take the counsel of Mistris Dorothy Subtilty to assist you Lady Who is that my Lord Lord Why do not you know her she that waited on your Mother Lady Pardon me my Lord I did not know her by that Title for she was plain Dol Subtilty when she waited on my Mother and not knowing of her advancement from a Chambermaid to a Gentlewoman I might easily mistake besides she is not so much older as to have much more experience than my self perchance she may have more craft which was learned her in her poverty than I who have been bred at the Horn of Plenty that knew no scarcity nor sharking necessity Lord You have a sharp tongue when spight moves it but let me hear no more of these words but do as I command you Lady I never disobey'd you as I do know Lord Well no more words Exeunt Scene 20. Enter the Bride and all the Bridal Guests they dance and Monsieur Disguise dances with the Bride Sir Spendall seems to whisper Monsieur Disguise in the Ear being half drunk SPendall Sir but that you look more like a woman than a man you might give the Bridegroom more cause to be melancholy for the living than the dead but let me intreat you young Gentleman that you strike not his Head as your News hath done his Heart for I perceive the Brides eyes are fix'd upon you and from the root of a fix'd eye grows Horns when they are set in a maried Head Disguise There is no fear Spendall Yes Sir as long as there are doubts there are fears Disguise There is no doubt Sir Spendall But that she will be Sir Disguise What Sir Spendall What you please Sir and let me tell you young Gentleman that as long as there are women there will be Lovers and Cuckolds Disguise And let me tell you Sir that as long as there are men there will be Fools and Drunkards Lady Inconstant Sir I doubt we have invited you rather to your trouble than your delight Disguise Madam you are the Treasure of Pleasure and Delight which none can receive but from your Bounty nor enjoy but by your Favour Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Sprightly and Dol Subtilty LAdy Sprightly What had you to do to contradict my commands Dol Subtilty They were not fit to be obey'd wherefore they were forbid The Lady gives Dol a box on the Ear Lady There take that to remember I forbid you to forbid my commands Dol. I will declare your blows to some that shall revenge me Enter the Lord Widower Lord What are you so light-finger'd 'T is time to get you a Husband to govern and rule your high spirit Lady No pray Sir get me no Husband for if my Father takes part against me surely a Husband will be worse natur'd Lord So you will say I am unnatural Lady No Sir I only say it is not my undutifulness that displeases you but some that hath more wit than I or at least good fortune to please you better Lord VVell pray study your Book and VVork and leave the Houshold Affairs to my disposal Lady Sir I took the Office as my duty to your commands not for Delight Pleasure Ease or Profit and I shall surrender it up again upon the same account and with all the trouble care labour vexations and disquiets belonging thereunto Lord In doing so you will do very well Exeunt Scene 32. Enter the Lady Hypocondria as being frightly sick and her Husband Sir VVilliam Lovewell LOvewell Heaven bless you wife what makes you so extremely pale and to seem so affrighted Hypocon. O Husband I have an Imposthume broken within me and the bag will rise and choke me Lovewell Heaven forbid Hypocon. O I am choak'd I am choak'd I cannot fetch my breath She takes her breath very short Sir VVilliam Lovewell in a great fright calls for help Enter some servants Lovewell O send for Doctors strait for my wife is ready to die They go out running he standing by the Chair his Wife sits in trembling and quaking Lovewell How are you dear VVife how do you feel your self now how are you Hypocondria O very ill but yet me thinks I can fetch my breath a little better than I could I believe the Imposthume-bag is fallen down wherefore I will go to bed Lovewell Pray do VVife He leads her out and she goeth softly Exeunt Scene 23. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife SAge Sweet-heart I was in your Bed-chamber and in your Cabinet-chamber and missing you in both I was afraid I must have been forc'd to have hir'd a Cryer to have proclamed my loss Chastity Many a Wife doth proclame her Husbands loss without the help of a Cryer for the Wives Adulterous Acts proclame her Husband a Cucold and the loss of his Honour Sage But I am not afraid of that for I am confident of thy Chastity although the old
love Solitariness and there will be too much Company Censurer There may be a great resort but their Conversation is by single Couples Examination You are a wag Lady Censurer Exeunt Scene 22. Enter four Gentlemen 1 GEnt. If I were to chuse a Wife I would chuse the Lady Solitary 2 Gent. Why 1 Gent. Because those that are Solitary love not much Company and being alone love not much noise and loving no noise love silence and loving silence love not to talk so as in having of her I shall have a Solitary Peaceable Quiet Silent Wife 3 Gent. And if I were to chuse I would chuse the Lady Censurer for she would let nothing pass her judgment for she will give her opinion of all things persons and actions so in having her to my Wife I should have a general Intelligencer or at least her opinion of all things 2 Gent. But if her Judgment were not good her opinion would be erroneous 3 Gent. I care not it would serve to pass an idle time with 4 Gent. And if I might chuse I would chuse the Lady Examination for a Wife 2 Gent. Why 4 Gent. Because she knows most humours and passages of every body and their affairs so by her I should be entertained with news from all places as of all actions done opinions held words spoke or thoughts thought 2 Gent. I would I could have my wish as easily as you might have your choice 1 Gent. What would you wish 2 Gent. I would wish to be unmarried for if I were I would never be troubled with a Wife again but let me advise you for I love to have married Companions that you three should go a woing to those three Ladyes they cannot nor will not deny your Sute being all three of you rich young and handsome All three We will take your Counsel Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General Seigneur Valeroso Monsieur la Hardy Monsieur Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Monsieur la Gravity Captain Ruffell Captain Whiffell and several other Gentlemen Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort Stewards Messengers and Servants Lady Victoria Madam Jantil Madam Passionate Madam Ruffell Madam Whiffell Doll Pacify Madam Passionates Maid Nell Careless Madam Jantils Maid other Servants and Heroickesses THE FIRST PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear how this Kingdome of Reformation is prepaparing for War against the Kingdome of Faction 2 Gent. Yea for I hear the Kingdome of Faction resolves to War with this Kingdome of Reformation 1 Gent. 'T is true for there are great preparations of either side men are raised of all sorts and ages fit to bear Arms and of all degrees to command and obey and there is one of the gallantest and noblest persons in this Kingdome which is made General to command in chief for he is a man that is both valiant and well experienced in Wars temperate and just in Peace wise and politick in publick affairs carefull and prudent in his own Family and a most generous person 2 Gent. Indeed I have heard that he is a most excellent Souldier 1 Gent. He is so for he is not one that sets forth to the Wars with great resolutions and hopes and returns with maskerd fears and despairs neither is he like those that take more care and are more industrious to get gay Clothes and fine Feathers to flant in the Field and vapour in their march than to get usefull and necessary provision but before he will march he will have all things ready and proper for use as to fit himself with well-tempered Arms which are light to be worn yet musket proof for he means not to run away nor to yield his life upon easy terms unto his Enemy for he desires to Conquer and not vain-gloriously to shew his courage by a careless neglect or a vain carelessness also he chooses such Horses as are usefull in War such as have been made subject to the hand and heel that have been taught to Trot on the Hanches to change to Gallop to stop and such Horses as have spirit and strength yet quiet and sober Natures he regards more the goodness of the Horses than the Colours or marks and more the fitness of his Saddles than the Imbrodery also he takes more care that his Waggons should be easy to follow and light in their carriage than to have them painted and gilded and he takes greater care that his Tents should be made so as to be suddenly put up and as quickly pull'd down than for the setting and Imbrodering his Arms thereupon also he take more care to have usefull Servants than numerous Servants and as he is industrious and carefull for his particular affairs so he is for the general affairs 2 Gent. A good Souldier makes good preparations and a good General doth both for himself and Army and as the General hath showed himself a good Souldier by the preparations he had made to march so he hath showen himself a wise man by the settlement he hath made in what he hath to leave behind him for I hear he hath setled and ordered his House and Family 1 Gent. He hath so and he hath a fair young and virtuous Lady that he must leave behind him which cannot choose but trouble him 2 Gent. The wisest man that is cannot order or have all things to his own contentment Exeunt Scene 2. Enter the Lord General and the Lady Victoria his Wife GEneral My dear heart you know I am commanded to the Wars and had I not such Wife as you are I should have thought Fortune had done me a favour to imploy my life in Heroical Actions for the service of my Country or to give me a honourable Death but to leave you is such a Cross as my Nature sinks under but wheresoever you are there will be my life I shall only carry a Body which may sight but my Soul and all the powers thereof will remain with thee Lady Victoria Husband I shall take this expression of love but for feigning words if you leave me for 't is against Nature to part with that we love best unless it be for the beloveds preservation which cannot be mine for my life lives in yours and the comfort of that life in your Company Lord General I know you love me so well as you had rather part with my life than I should part from my honour Lady Victoria 'T is true my love perswades me so to do knowing fame is a double life as infamy is a double death nay I should perswade you to those actions were they never so dangerous were you unwilling thereunto or could they create a world of honour fully inhabited with praises but I would not willingly part with your life for an imaginary or supposed honour which dyes in the womb before it is Born thus I love you the best preferring the best of what is yours but I am but in the second place in your affections for you
a Non-pluss they would be glad to be quit of each other yet are ashamed to part so soon and are weary to stay with each other long when a Play entertaines them with Love and requires not their answers nor forceth their braines nor pumps their wits for a Play doth rather fill them than empty them 2. Gentleman Faith most Playes doth rather fill the spectators with wind than with substance with noise than with newes 1. Gentleman This Play that I would have you go to is a new Play 2. Gentleman But is there newes in the Play that is is there new wit fancyes or new Scenes and not taken our of old storyes or old Playes newly translated 1. Gentleman I know not that but this Play was writ by a Lady who on my Conscience hath neither Language nor Learning but what is native and naturall 2. Gentleman A woman write a Play Out upon it out upon it for it cannot be good besides you say she is a Lady which is the likelyer to make the Play worse a woman and a Lady to write a Play fye fye 3. Gentleman Why may not a Lady write a good Play 2. Gentleman No for a womans wit is too weak and too conceived to write a Play 1. Gentleman But if a woman hath wit or can write a good Play what will you say then 2. Gentleman Why I will say no body will believe it for if it be good they will think she did not write it or at least say she did not besides the very being a woman condemnes it were it never so excellent and care for men will not allow women to have wit or we men to have reason for if we allow them wit we shall lose our prehemency 1. Gentleman If you will not goe Tom farewell for I will go set this Play let it be good or bad 2. Gentleman Nay stay I will go with thee for I am contented to cast away so much time for the sake of the sex Although I have no saith of the Authoresses wit 3. Gentleman Many a reprobate hath been converted and brought to repentance by hearing a good Sermon and who knowes but that you may be converted from your erroneous opinion by seeing this Play and brought to confesse that a Lady may have wit Loves Adventures Play The Lord Fatherly The Lord Singularity His Sonne Sir Serious Dumbe Sir Timothy Complement Sir Humphry Bolde Sir Roger Exception Sir Peaceable Studious Foster Trusty The Lady Orphant The Lady Ignorant wife to Sir Peaceable Studious The Lady Bashfull The Lady Wagtaile The Lady Amorous Mrs. Acquaintance Nurse Fondly Foster Trusties wife Lady Orphans Nurse Mrs. Reformers woman to the Lady Bashfull Two Chamber-Maydes Prologue NOble Spectators you are come to see A Play if good perchance may clapped be And yet our Authoresse sayes that she hath heard Some playes though good hath not been so preferr'd As to be mounted up on high raised praise And to be Crown'd with Garlands of fresh hayes But the contrary have been hissed off Out from our Stage with many a censuring scoff But afterwards there understanding cleer'd They gave the praise what they before had jeer'd The same she sayes may to her Play befall And your erroneous censures may recall But all such Playes as take not at first sight But afterwards the viewers takes delight It seemes there is more wit in such a Play Than can be understood in one whole day If for she is well content for her wits sake From ignorance repulses for to take For she had rather want those understanding braines Than that her Play should want wits flowing veynes ACT I. Scene 1. Enter the Lord Fatherly and the Lord Singularity his Son LOrd Singularity Pray Sir do not force me to marry a childe before you know whether she will prove vertuous or discreet when for the want of that knowledge you may indanger the honour of your Line and Posterity with Cuckoldry and Bastardry Lord Fatherly Son you must leave that to fortune Lord Singularity A wise man Sir is to be the maker or spoiler of his own fortune Lord Fatherly Let me tell you Son the wisest man that is or ever was may be deceived in the choosing a wife for a woman is more obscure than nature her self therefore you must trust to chance for marriage is a Lottery if you get a prize you may live quietly and happily Lord Singularity But if I light of a blank as a hundred to one nay a thousand to one but I shall which is on a Fool or a Whore her Follies or Adulteries instead of a praise will found out my disgrace Lord Fatherly Come Come she is Rich she is Rich Lord Singularity Why Sir guilded I Horns are most visible Lord Fatherly 'T is better Son to have a rich whore than a poor whore but I hope Heaven hath made her Chast and her Father being an honourable honest and wise man will breed her vertuously and I make no question but you will be happy with her Lord Singularity But Sir pray consider the inequality of our ages she being but a Child and I at mans Estate by that time she is ready for the marriage bed I shall be ready for the grave and youths sharp appetites will never rellish Age wherefore she will seek to please her pallat else where Lord Fatherly Let me tell you Son should you marry a woman that were as many years older than she is younger than you it were a greater hazard for first old women are more intemperate than young and being older than the husband they are apt to be jealouse and being jealouse they grow malitious and malice seeks revenge and revenge disgrace therefore she would Cuckold you meerly to disgrace you Lord Singularity On the other side those Women that are marryed young Cuckholds there Husbands fames dishonouring them by their ignorant follyes and Childish indiscretions as much as with Adultery And I should assoon choose to be a Cuckhold as to be thought to be one For my honour will suffer as much by the one as the other if not more Lord Fatherly Heaven blesse the Sonne from jealousy for thou art horrible afraid of being a Cuckold Lord Singularity Can you blame me Sir since to be a Cuckhold is to be despised scorned laught and pointed at as a Monster worse than nature ever made and all the Honour that my birth gave me and my education indued me my vertue gained me my industry got me fortune bestowed on me and fame inthron'd me for may not only be lost by my wifes Adultery but as I said by her indiscretion which makes me wonder how any man that hath a Noble Soul dares marry since all his honour lyes or lives in the light heels of his wife which every little passion is apt to kick away wherefore good Sir let me live a single life Lord Fatherly How Son would you have me consent to extinguish the light of my Name and to pull out the root
Come fellow-souldiers are you ready to march 2. Commander Whether 1. Commander Into our own native Country for our General is sent sol home 3. Commander Except there be wars in our own Country we cannot go with him 1. Commander I know not whether there be wars or peace but he obeys for he is preparing for his journey 2. Commander Who shall be General when he is gone 3. Commander I know not but I hear the States offers to make our young Lieutenant-General General but he refuseth it 2. Commander Would they would make me General 3. Commander If thou wert General thou wouldst put all method out of order 1. Commander Faith Gentlemen I would lead you most prudently and give you leave to plunder most unanimously 1. Commander And we would fight couragiously to keep what we plunder 2. Commander Come let us go and inquire how our affairs goeth Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Now Affectionata we have taken our leave of the States I hope thy mind is at peace and freed from fears of being staid Affectionata Yes my my Lord Lord Singularity They did perswade thee much to stay Affectionata They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure Lord Singularity Truly I will say thus much for my self that I have done them good service and I must say thus much for them that they have rewarded me well Affectionata I have heard my Lord that States seldom rewards a service done wherefore I believe they hope you will return again and sees you for that end Lord Singularity I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment for me Affectionata Methinks my Lord since you have gotten a fame abroad you should desire to live a setled life at home Lord Singularity A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife nor children Affectionata You may have both If you please my Lord Lord Singularity For children I desire none since I have thee and wives I care not for but what are other mens Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity Lord Singularity From whence comest thou friend Messenger From Rome my Lord Lord Singularity If you please to stay in the next room I shall speak to you presently Messenger Exit The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads Lord Singularity Affectionata From whence do you think this Letter comes Affectionata I cannot guess my Lord Lord Singularity From the Pope who hath heard so much of thy youth vertue wit and courage as he desires me to pass thorough Rome im my journey home that he might see thee Affectionata Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery and force me to stay behind you Lord Singularity If he should I will take the habit and be incloistered with thee but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto Affectionata Truly my Lord I have no will to be a Fryer Lord Singularity Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life which all heroick Spirits shames for those loves liberty and action But I will go and dispatch this Messenger and to morrow we will begin our journey Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail Faith Amorous it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging off if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner and could have infettered him in Cupid's bonds Lady Amorous It had been a victory indeed for I will undertake to inslave five Courtiers and ten Souldiers sooner and in less time than one studious Scholar Lady Wagtail But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious Courtiers or deboist Souldiers Lady Amorous O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits but a study quenches them out Lady Wagtail One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious but not by some other Scholars that I am acquainted with Lady Amorous But confess Lady Wagtail do not you find a studious Scholar dull company in respect of a vain Courtier and a rough Souldier Lady Wagtail I must confess they that study Philosophy are little too much inclined to morality but those that study Theologie are not so restringent Lady Amorous Well for my part since I have been acquainted with Sir Peaceable Studious I hate all Scholars Exeunt Scene 24. Enter three Men as the Inhabitants of Rome 1. T Is a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity's Son is should have so great a wit as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals 2. Man The greater wonder is that he should have the better of them 1. Man 'T is said the Pope doth admire him and is extreamly taken with him 2. Man If Iove had so much admired him he would have made him his Ganimed 1. Man He offered to make him a living Saint but he thanked his Holyness and said he might Saint him but not make him holy enough to be a Saint for said he I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me that cannot offer Prayers as I ought or live as I should then he offered him a Cardinals hat but he refused it saying he was neither wise enough nor old enough for to accept of it for said he I want Ulisses head and Nestors years to be a Cardinal for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint yet politick wisdom is required 3. Man Pray Neighbours tell me which way and by what means I may see this wonderfull youth for I have been out of the Town and not heard of him 2. Man You cannot see him now unless you will follow him where he is gone 1. Man Why whether is he gone 2. Man Into his own Country and hath been gone above this week 3. Man Nay I cannot follow him thither Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata as being in the Country Lord Singularity Affectionata you have promised me to be ruled by me in every thing so that you may not part from me Affectionata I have my Lord and will obey all your commands so far as I am able Lord Singularity Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own Country to get thee a wife that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity Affectionata Iove bless me a wife by Heaven my Lord I am not man enough to marry Lord Singul. There is many as young as you that have been Fathers and have had children Affectionata If they were such as I am they might father Children but never get them Lord Singularity Thou art modest Affectionata but I will have you marry and I will chose thee such a wife as modest as thy self Affectionata Then we never shall have children Sir Lord Singul. Love and acquaintance will give you confidence but tell me truly Affectionata didst thou never court a Mistriss Affectionata No truly Sir Lord Singularity Well I will have you practice Courtship and though I will not directly be your Band or Pimp yet I
to their several Offices Affectionata Then the common Servants are like the common Souldiers Lord Singularity They are so and are as apt to mutiny if they be not used with strickt discipline Thus if a Master of a Family have the right way in the management of his particular affairs he may thrive easily have plenty live peaceably be happy and carry an honourable port with an indifferent Estate when those of much greater Estates which knows not nor practices the right method or rules and governs not with strictness his servants shall grow factious mutinous and be alwaies in bruleries by which disorders his Estate shall waste invisible his servants cozen egregiously he lives in penurie his servants in riot alwaies spending yet alwaies wanting forced to borrow and yet hath so much that if it were ordered with prudence might be able to lend when by his imprudence he is troubled with stores yet vex'd with necessity Affectionata I should think that no man ought to be a Master of a Family but those that can govern orderly and peaceably Lord Singularity You say right for every Master of a Family are petty-Kings and when they have rebellions in their own small Monarchies they are apt to disturb the general Peace of the whole Kingdom or State they live in for those that cannot tell how to command their own Domesticks and prudently order their own affairs are not only uselesse to the Common-wealth but they are pernicious and dangerous as not knowing the benefit and necessity of obedience and method Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the Lady VVagtail and the Lady Amorous Lady Wagtail The Lord Singularity hath brought home the sweetest and most beautifullest young Cavalier as ever I saw Lady Amorous Faith he appears like Adonas Lady Wagtail Did you ever see Adonas Lady Amorous No but I have heard the Poets describe him Lady Wagtail Venus and Adonas are only two poetical Ideas or two Ideas in poetical brains Lady Amorous Why Ideas hath no names Lady Wagtail O yes for Poets christens their Ideas with names as orderly as Christians Fathers doth their children Lady Amorous Well I wish I were a Venus for his sake Lady Wagtail But if you were only a poetical Venus you would have little pleasure with your Adonas Lady Amorous Hay ho He is a sweet youth Lady Wagtail And you have sweet thoughts of the sweet youth Lady Amorous My thoughts are like Mirtle-groves to entertain the Idea of the Lord Singularity's Son Lady Wagtail Take heed there be not a wild-boar in your Mirtle Imagenarie Grove that may destroy your Adonas Idea Lady Amorous There is no beast there only sweet singing-birds called Nightingals Exeunt Scene 30. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata AFfectionata Pray my Lord what Lady is that you make such inquiry for Lord Singularity She is a Lady I would have thee marry One that my Father did much desire I should marry although she was very young and may be now about thy years I hear her Father is dead but where the Lady is I cannot find out Affectionata Perchance she is married my Lord Lord Singularity Then we should find her out by hearing who she hath marryed Affectionata But if she be not marryed she being as old as I I am too young for her for Husbands should be older than their wives Lord Singularity But she is one that is well born well bred and very rich and though thou art young in years yet thou art an aged man in judgment prudence understanding and for wit as in thy flourishing strength Affectionata Perchance my Lord she will not like me as neither my years my person nor my birth Lord Singularity As for thy years youth is alwayes accepted by the effeminate Sex and thy person she cannot dislike for thou art very handsom and for thy birth although thou art meanly born thou hast a noble nature a sweet disposition a vertuous soul and a heroick spirit Besides I have adopted thee my Son and the King hath promised to place my Titles on thee and hath made thee Heir of my whole Estate for to maintain thee according to those Dignities Affectionata But I had rather live unmarried my Lord if you will give consent Lord Singularity But I will never consent to that and if you be dutifull to me you will marry such a one as I shall chose for you Affectionata I shall obey whatsoever you command for I have nothing but my obedience to return for all your favours Lord Singularity Well I will go and make a strickt inquiry for this Lady Lord Singularity Exit Affectionata alone Affectionata Hay ho what will this come to I would I were in my Grave for love and fear doth torture my poor life Heaven strike me dead or make me this Lords wife Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Amorous How shall we compass the acquaintance of the Lord Singularity's Son Lady Wagtail Faith Amorous thou lovest boys but I love men wherefore I would be acquainted with the Lord Singularity himself Beside his adopted Son was a poor Beggar-boy 't is said and I cannot love one that is basely born Lady Amorous His birth may be honourably though poor and of low and mean descent for if he was born in honest wedlock and of honest Parents his birth cannot be base Lady Wagtail O yes for those that are not born from Gentry are like course brown bread when Gentry of ancient descent are like flower often boulted to make white mancher Lady Amorous By that rule surely he came from a Noble and Ancient Race for I never saw any person more white and finely shap'd in my life than he is and if fame speaks true his actions have proved he hath a Gentlemans soul But say he were meanly born as being born from a Cottager yet he is not to be despised nor disliked nor to be lesse esteemed or beloved or to be thought the worse of for was Lucan lesse esteemed for being a Stone-Cutter or his wit lesse esteemed or was King David lesse esteemed or obeyed for being a Shepheard or the Apostles lesse esteemed or believed for being Fisher men Tent-makers or the like or the man that was chosen from the Plough to be made Emperour I say was he lesse esteemed for being a Plough-man No he was rather admired the more or was Horace esteemed or his Poems thought the worse for being Son to a freed man which had been a slave or was Homer lesse admired or thought the worse Poet for being a poor blind man and many hundred that I cannot name that hath gained fame and their memories lives with Honour and Admiration in every Age and in every Nation Kingdom Country and Family and it is more worthy and those persons ought to have more love and respect that have merit than those that have only Dignity either from favour of Princes or descended from their Ancestors for all derived Honours are poor and mean in
out Here ends my Lord Marquesses FINIS This written by my Lord Marquess THE SECOND PART OF Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet ACT I. Scene 2. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour seems to appear angry LAdy Innocence My Lord what makes you frown on me surely I never willingly offended you Lord de l'Amour But the report I hear of you offends me Lady Innocence I hope my behaviour is not lyable to any aspertion or evil censure for as you have used me civily so I have behaved my self modestly Lord de l'Amour I perceive you are a subtil insinuating young Lady Lady Innocence Think me not subtil for being so brod as not to slight your Love not so uncivil as to scorn your noble favours but strive to merit your worthy affections but if I have erred in my endeavours pray pardon me and if you please to tell me my errour I shall rectify it Lord de l'Amour I hear you will speak more lyes than tell truths Lady Innocence Truly I am too strict a Votary to truth to tell a lye Lord de l'Amour I should be glad you were vowed one of her Order Lady Innocence I am so and have taken the habit of sincerity upon me Lord de l'Amour Tell me truly do you never use to lye Lady Innocence If you have opinion that I never or seldome speak truth let me say what I will you will still believe it is a lye but truly I did never tell a lye as I do know of but did alwayes speak truth Lord de l'Amour I hear to my great grief you have many faults pray mend them Lady Innocence I am sory there are so many ill reports or rather aspersions laid on me as to grieve you but surely youth cannot commit many faults but Age that hath had time to commit faults in but if you can believe my faults surmounts not all accounts I shall desire to know them Lord de l'Amour Examine yourself and you will find them Lady Innocence I shall call a particular Councel and make a General search and what thoughts words or actions I can find guilty or prove Criminal I shall condemn and sacrifice them on the Altar of Repentance and crave mercy and forgiveness Lord de l'Amour Pray do so Ex. Lady Innocence alone 'T is strange his humour should be so suddenly changed from loving professions kind expressions and pleasing smiles to sharp words and angry frowns and that he should seem to love me as much as he did now to believe me so little as it seems he doth I hope it is only the superfluities of his affections that runs into the indiscretion of jealousie Ex. Enter Sanspareile and her Audience As soon as she hath taken her standing place A Messenger Enters Messenger The Queen of Attention is come to be one of your Audience The Company makes a bustle Enter the Queen of Attention and her Train Sir Thomas Father Love kneels down and kisses her hand Queen I am come to hear and see your Daughter whom fame reports to be the wonder of this Age Father It had been more proper and fit for my Daughter to have waited at your Court-Gates untill your Majesty had comanded her into your presence than for your Majesty to come hither to hear and see her but she being a plain bred girle durst not be so bold Queen If your Daughters wit be answerable to her beauty she is a wonder indeed Sanspareile comes off from the place where she stands and makes 3. Obeysances and coming near kneels down and kisses the Queens hand Lady Sanspareile Madam this gracious honour and honourable grace is beyond the management of my young years the evil of my weak confidence and the compass of my little wit and my obscure breeding hath made me so Ignorant that I know not in what manner I should behave or address myself towards your Majesty but if I commit faults in misbehaviour pray impute it to my ignorant youth and not to disobedience Queen I see nothing yet in your behaviour but that you may be not only a pattern for young but also for grave Age to take example from Sanspareile Madam the generosity of your Maiesties Nature the Magnificence of your Majesties mind and the Charity of your Majesties disposition gives an overflowing commendation like to the goodness of the Gods that gives more to the Creature than the Creature can deserve Queen Let me tell you young Lady your speeches are as pleasing to the eare as your beauty is delightfull to the eye Sanspareile Your Majesty is like a Deity can turn or translate words like poor Mortals into a glorified sence like as into a glorified body Queen Sir Thomas Father Love if your Daughter speak at all times and alwayes so eloquently I should not wonder you let her speak in publick Father I beseech your Majesty that you will rather judge me an over fond Father which is natural than a vain opiniatour in that I give her liberty to speak in publick Queen If it were a vanity it might be well forgiven but pray let me hear her speak Sanspareile makes three obeysances as she steps back from the Queen to her standing-place and then ascends Sanspareile Great Queen I nor no other should offer or dare to speak before or to such Supreme persons as your Majesty without a sore premeditation for the words and behaviours of speakers should be fitted to the degrees and qualities Powers Offices and Authorities of the Auditory But your Majesties commands makes that an obedient duty that would otherwayes be a presumption wherefore on the ground of duty I speak at this time before your Majesty but the Royalty of your person the brightnesse of your beauty the fame of your vertues and the glorious splendour of your Majestical Grandeur hath so amazed me that my understanding is as it were blind which will cause my tongue to stagger and my words to run stumbling out of my mouth but I hope your Justice will pardon them For as Divine Justice belongs to the Gods moral Justice to Nature so humane Justice to Monarchial Princes which justice is weighed and measured out according to merit or desert be they good or bad For which Justice Gods and Princes are both feared and loved and Justice is the chief Pillar or upholder of Monarchical States and Common-wealths for without Justice there can be no Government and without Government there can be no Rule and without Rule there can be no peace and where peace is not there will be warrs and warrs causeth ruine and destruction But for the most part those Kingdomes that have arrived to the height of Glory declines or falls to ruine The reason is that a low condition is necessitated and weak wherefore they seek for help to strengthen themselves which makes or rather forces every particular person to associate unite either by Laws of Covenants to which they submit
their affections in their peiced Petticoates and buries their Husbands love in their dirty raggs And from the Dunghill of dirty raggs and grave of soul Linnen is their Husbands transformed to beastly Adulteries stealing by degrees out of one Form into another as from a doting Husband to a fond Husband form a fond to a discreet Husband from a discreet to a careful Husband from a careful to a carelesse from a carelesse to a disliking from a disliking to a hating and then they begin to wander As first an eye glances from an eye glance to an admirer from an admirer to a professour from a professour to a dissembler from a dissembler to an Adulterer then for the dresses and garments of his Mistress First from clean to new from new to fine from fine to brave from brave to glorious from glorious to fantastical from fantastical to profusely various from profusely various to any dirty Slut But his wife on the other side if his wife desires appears handsome and practises civil behaviour and endeavours to be fine takes care to be cleanly observes to be fashionable her Husband straight becomes jealouse although she doth this for his sake and to keep his affection yet he thinks it is for the affection and sake of some other man which causeth private discontents from private discontents to quarreling disputes from quarreling disputes to publick exclamations from publick exclamations to open defiance from open defiance to devorcement and though I cannot say this by or from experience having it only from relation yet I do as faithfully believe it as if I were experienced therein On which faith I made a vow never to marry since I hear men are so hard to please and apt to change wherefore if I were marryed instead of discoursing of several arguments I should be groaning and sighing and weeping with several pains and vexations and instead of a silent solitary contemplation a clamorous quarrelsome conversation instead of a peaceable life I should be alwayes in civil warrs and instead of being happy I should be miserable for mariage is like a ship which always lyes on the roughest Bilows of the Sea rouling from side to side with discontents sailing uncertainly with inconstancy and various winds But noble civil kind and affectionate Gentlemen as I have told you I have made a vow never to marry and surely marriage is not so happy an estate or so pleasing a condition of life as to perswade me to break my vow neither can flattering Rhetorick nor inticing beauty nor adoring admiring deploring praying weeping Suters perswade me no not a bleeding Suter were I sure he would dye did he not enjoy me for I will never be so dishonourable perjurious and impious to break the holy Laws and pull the Virgin Altars down built in the conscience on which are vows offered to Gods on high Should I blow out that with faint inconstancy that pure bright Vestal Fire of innocency from whence the Essence of chast thoughts ascends to Heaven high But rather than I would break my vow I wish my ears as deaf as death that hears no flattering sounds nor sad complaints nor terrifying threats my eyes as dark as night least light should bring some false deluding object in for to deceive me my heart like Adamant so hard love cannot enter nor pity nor compassion wound but howsoever I connot be wife to you all wherefore since I cannot be every mans wife I will dye every mans Maid But I must tell this Noble Assembly their meeting hath occasioned a quarrel here for bashfulnesse and confidence hath fought a Duel in my Cheeks and left the staines of bloud there After her Respects Ex. All her Audience her Lovers goeth out silently some lifting up their eyes others their hands some striking their hands on their breast and the like Ex. Scene 6. Enter the Lady Innocence alone WHilst I was in his favour my mind was like a pleasant Garden where several Phancies like several Birds did make sweet melody and in this Garden a large high Tree of Noble ambition grew whereon hung fruits of hopes but low misfortunes now hath cut it down and therewithall have built a house where melancholly dwels darkened with Clouds of discontents and winds of sighs and showers of tears doth blow and powre thereon She weeping and sighing Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lady Incontinent and the Lord de l'Amour LAdy Incontinent Faith you will be well wived for your affianced is known to be a Lyer and feared she will be a Whore and proved a Thief Lord de l'Amour How a Thief Lady Incontinent Why she hath stolen my Pearl Chain worth a thousand Pounds Lord de l'Amour T is impossible Lady Incontinent It is not impossible to prove a Thief Lord de l'Amour No for there is too many to misse but sure it is impossible she should prove one she is so honourably born and I never heard but she was Vertuously bred Lady Incontinent By your favour Covetousnesse or Necessity may tempt Honourable Births and corrupt minds that with plenty would be honest enough Lord de l'Amour I grant misery may prove some Noble souls sprung from Honourable stocks yet not to be so wickedly base as to steal although so unworthy as to shark Lady Incontinent Why sharking is next Neighbour to stealing or as near Kindred as an Equivocation is to a Lye Lord de l'Amour But she was never so necessitated as to make her either a shark or a Thief having alwayes plenty Lady Incontinent But she is covetous and youth that is fond of all things they see desires to enjoy all things they have not and will endeavour by any means or wayes to compass their desires Lord de l'Amour I never found my Youth prompt to any such Acts Lady Incontinent Without more discourse she hath stole my Chain and I can prove it She goeth out alone Lord de l'Amour alone T is strange I know not what to think or how to iudge which of the two Ladies is a Divel for surely one of them is Ex. ACT III Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman The Lady Sanspareile is the miracle of this age the world doth not parrallel her with the like for her behaviour is graceful and becoming her Countenance modest and wife her speech Majestical and witty yet grave and learned and her Oratory is after a New way 2 Gent. It is reported that there are many men come from all parts of the world to hear her aad those that cannot understand this Language comes only to see her so famous is she to all the world 1 Gent. She is a great Honour to our Nation 2 Gent. I hear she doth intend to plead in the behalf of poor Suiters and hath asked leave of the Queen to be a pleader at the Barr for all such as suffered wrong as injustices and for such Clients as hath just causes but hath not means to follow the Law as to see
my affection with all the industry of Life gifts of Fortune and actions of Honour sued for my favour as if he had sued to Heaven for mercy but I as many cruel goddesses do would neither receive his obligations nor regard his vowes nor pity his tears nor hearken to his complaints but rejected his Sute and gave him an absolute denyal whereupon he was resolved to dye as believing no torments could be compared to those of my disdain and since I would not love him living he hoped by dying his death might move my pity and so beget a compassionate remembrance from me wherupon he got secretly neer my chamber-door and hung himself just where I must go out which when I saw I starred back in a great fright but at last running forth to call for help to cut him down in came Monsieur Amorous which hinderance made me leave him hanging there as being ashamed to own my cruelty and he hath been talking or rather prating here so long as by this time my kind Love is dead Visitant O no for Lovers will hang a long time before they dye for their necks are tuff and their hearts are large and hot Contempl. Well pray leave me alone that I may cut him down and give him Cordials to restore life Visitant Faith you must let him hang a little time longer for I have undertaken to make you a sociable Lady this day wherefore you must goe abroad to a friends house with me Contempl. Who I what do you think I will goe abroad and leave my Lover in a twisted string his legs hanging dangling down his face all black and swelled and his eyes almost started out of his head no no pray goe alone by your self and leave me to my Contemplation Visitant Well if you will not goe I will never see you nor be friends with you again Contempl. Pray be not angry for I will go if you will have me although I shall be but a dull companion for I shall not speak one word for wheresoever I am my thoughts will use all their Industry to cut the string and take him down and rub and chafe him against a hot fire Visitant Come come you shall heat your self with dancing and let your Lover hang Contempl. That I cannot for active bodies and active brains are never at once the one disturbs the other Visitant Then it seems you had rather have an active brain than an active body Contempl. Yes for when the brain doth work the understanding is inriched and knowledge is gained thereby whereas the body doth oft-times waste the life with too much exercise Visitant Take heed you do not distemper your brain with too much exercising your thoughts Contempl. All distempers proceed from the body and not from the minde for the minde would be well did not the humours and appetites of the body force it into a distemper Visitant Well upon the condition you will goe you shall sit still and your wit shall be the Musick Contempl. Prethee let me rest at home for to day the strings of my wit are broken and my tongue like a fiddle is out of tune Besides Contemplative persons are at all times dull speakers although they are pleasant thinkers Exeunt FINIS Written by my Lord Marquess of New-castle The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation The Actors Names Lord Title Lord Courtship Sir Fancy Poet Sir Experienced Traveller Sir Humphry Interruption Sir Golden Riches Sir Effeminate Lovely Sir John Argument Sir Vain Complement Master Inquirer Doctor Practice Old Humanity Roger Farmer Thom. Purveyor 2. Beadles Gentlemen and others Lady Amorous Lady Ward Lady Contemplation Lady Conversation Lady Visitant Poor Virtue Mistris Troublesome Mistris Gossip Mistris Messenger Lady Amorous's woman Nurse Careful Maudlin Huswife Roger Farmers wife Mall Mean-bred their daughter Mistris Troublesomes maid Servants and others The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfeminate Lovely Sweet-heart you are a most Heavenly Creature Poor Virtue Beauty is created and placed oftner in the fancy than in the face Effem. Lovely 'T is said there is a Sympathy in likeness if so you and I should love each other for we are both beautiful Poor Virtue But 't is a question whether our Souls be answerable to our Persons Effem. Lovely There is no question or doubt to be made but that loving souls live in beautiful persons Poor Virtue And do those loving soules dye when their beauties are decayed and withered Effem. The subject pleads it self without the help of Rhetorick for Love and Beauty lives and dies together Poor Virtue 'T is Amorous Love that dies when Beauty is gone not Vertuous Love for as Amorous Love is bred born lives and dies with the appetite so Vertuous Love is Created and shall live with the Soul forever Effem. Lovely You may call it what love you please Poor Virtue It is no love but a disease Exeunt Scene 2. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship Why did you leave the Lady Amorous company so uncivilly as to go out of the room leaving her all alone Lady Ward I heard your Lordship was coming then I thought it was fit for me to withdraw for I have heard Lovers desire to be alone Lord Courtship Do you desire to be alone with a man Lady Ward I am no such Lover for I am too young as yet but I know not what I shall or may be wrought or brought to but time and good example may instruct and lead me into the way of amorous love Lord Courtship May it so Lady Ward Why not for I am docible and youth is apt to learn Lord Court But before I marry you I would have you learn to know how to be an obedient wife as to be content and not murmure at my actions also to please my humour but not to imitate my practice Lady Ward If I might advise your Lordship I would advise you to take such a Portion out of my Estate as you shall think just or fit and then quit me and choose such a one as you shall like for I shall never please you for though I may be apt to learn what will please my self yet I am dull and intractable to learn obedience to anothers will nor can I flatter their delights Lord Court I finde you have learned and now begin to practice how to talk for now your sober silence seems as dead and buried in the rubbish of follish words But let me tell you a talking wife will never please me wherefore practise patience and keep silence if you would enjoy the happiness of peace The Lord Courtship goes out Lady Ward alone Lady Ward There can be no peace when the mind is discontented Exit Scene 3. Enter Lord Title and Poor Vertue POor Virtue Why do you follow me so much as never to let me rest in peace and quiet alone Is it that you think I have beauty and is it
me weep doubting you Love me not you are so Jealous Monsieur Esperance By Heaven I love thee beyond my Soul wherefore forbear to weep if thou canst stop thy tears Madamoiselle Esperance Tears may be stopt unless they flow from an unrecoverable loss which Heaven forbid mine should yet sorrow oft doth stop the Spring from whence tears rise or else the Eyes do weep themselves quite blind Monsieur Esperance Pray dry yours Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle Bon alone MAdamoiselle Bon. O Man O Man How various and Inconstant are you all how cruell to betray our faint and unexperienced Sex bribing our Judgments with flattering words obscure our reasons with Clouds of Sighs drawing us into belief with protestations bind us with promises and vows forcing us to yield up our affections then murther us with scorn and bury us in forgetfullness but O how happy was I before I was betrayed by Love my heart was free my thoughts were pleasant and my humour gay but now my mind is a Garrison of cares my thoughts like runaways are wanderers Grief on my heart his heavy taxes layes Which through my Eyes my heart those taxes payes Exit Scene 17. Enter Madamoiselle Amor and at a distance seeth Monsieur Nobilissimo she speaks first as to her self MAdamoiselle Amor Love and Discretion sight duels in my mind one makes me Mute the other doth perswade me to prefer my Sute but why should I be nice to speak or be ashamed to woo with words when all our Sex doth woo with several dresses and smiles each civil courtesy doth plead Loves Sute then I will on Love give me Courage and Mercury guide my tongue She goeth as towards the Lord Nobilissimo Amor Noble Sir impute it rather as a folly to my Sex and Youth and not any impudence of Nature if that my Innocency discovers my passion and affection not having Craft or subtilty to conceal them but I must plainly tell you no sooner did I see you and hear you speak but loved but yet mistake me not I dote not on your person but your mind for sure your Noble Soul shot fire through my Eyes into my Heart there flames with pure affection but for this confession perchance you will set me as a mark of scorn for all to shoot their scofs at and in derision pointing will laugh and say there is the Maid that wooed a Man Nobilissimo Is this to me Lady Amor It cannot be to any other Nature could make but one and that was you Nobilissimo If this be real you do profess the Gods should they have sent an Angel down to offer me their Heavenly Mansion it had not been so great a gift as your affection Amor Do you not hate me then Nobilissimo Nothing I Love so well Amor And will you Love me ever Nobilissimo Yes ever for when my Body is dissolved Love shall live in my dust in spight of Death Amor And will you love none but me Nobilissimo An intire and undivided affection can be placed but upon one and that is you Amor May your constancy be as firm as my Love pure Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her four Suters Admiration Ambition Vainglory and Pride ADmirat Dear Mistriss stay that I may gaze upon you Then bow my knee as to the rising Sun Heave up my hands as when to Heaven I pray But being amaz'd know not one word I say Yet superstitiously I shall adore As my chief Goddess shall thy love implore And being worship'd you are deifi'd Your Godhead in your Beauty doth recide Vainglory Thou absolute Beauty for thy dear sake Of Lovers hearts a foot-stool shall be made A Cushion soft with Hopes fill'd full then laid For thee to stand and triumph on fair Maid And Lovers Souls shall from their bodyes fly For thee a Couch when weary on to ly Pride Thy Lovers tears for to invite thy rest In murmuring streams fall on thy marble brest And gentle sighs like whispering winds shall blow And fan thy Cheeks that Poets fire may glow Loves Melancholy thoughts like Clouds of night Like as thy Curtains drawn before thy sight For fear the Sun should trouble out of spight Thy Eyes repose being the greater light Ambition Sweet Beauty thou in a glorious Throne shall set The spangled Heaven seems but thy Counterfeit Thy Charriot shall be stuck with Eyes all gazing And oyld with Eloquent tongues that runs with praysing Drawn by large strong well shapt Commendations Guided by Fame about two several Nations La Belle Admiration Vainglory Pride and Ambition Why do you woo Beauty that is Deaf and Dumb That hears no praise nor adoration It seeth no hands heav'd up nor tears that fall It hath no tongue to answer Love withall It hath no Life no Soul where passion lies It neither gives nor takes instructions wise It is no solid Body you admire No substance but a shadow you desire FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Heroick his Brother Monsieur Esperance Monsieur Phantasie Monsieur Amy. Monsieur Poverty and other Gentlemen Madamoiselle Esperance Madamoiselle La Belle Madamoiselle Amour Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Madamoiselle Bon Madamoiselle Tell-truth Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious Madamoiselle Detractor THE SECOND PART OF NATURES three DAUGHTERS Beauty Love and Wit ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Great Fame my Prayers I direct to thee That thou wilt keep me in thy memory And place my Name in the large brazen Tower That neither Spight nor Time may it devour And write it plain that every age may see My Names inscrib'd to live eternally Let not Malice obstruct my Wit with spight But let it shine in its own clear light Noble and Right Honourable I divide my discourse into three parts as namely Vanity Vice and Wickedness Vanity lives in the Customs and Manners of men and Wickedness in the Souls of men Vices in the Senses of men as vain habits evill appetites and wicked passions as for Vanity and Vice they are commodities that are sold out of the Shops of Idleness Vice is sold by wholesale but Vanities are sold by retail the Buyers of these Commodities are Youth the Merchants are evil Customs and ill examples the Masculine youth buyes more Vice than Vanity and the Effeminate youth buyes more Vanity than Vice but they all buy as salt as they can be sold they will spare for not cost and will give any prices although it be their Healths Lives Fortunes or Reputations as for Wickedness it is inlayed into the soul like as Mosaick work and so close it is wrought therein as it makes it appear to be the soul it self but evill Education and Custome are the Artificers of this work and not natural Creation or divine infusion or inspiration from whence the Soul proceeds or is produced for neither the Gods nor Nature is the Author of Wickedness but Vanity Vice and
is prevalent Nan but what manner of man is this man that my Father is treating with is he handsome or rich or famous or honoured with title for I would not put my father to charges and not have a Husband worth my Portion Nan He is rich and a thriving man Mistriss Odd-Humour That is to say a rich miserable man and when I am marryed to him I shall be his poor miserable wife for he will not allow me any thing to spend hardly to eat Nan Then your Chair will be big enough for you Mistriss Odd-Humour Or I shall be little enough for my Chair for a spare diet will make bare bones Nan If you be lean you will want a Cushion unless your Husband will allow you one Mistriss Odd-Humour A miserable Husband will never do that for they think ease breeds Idleness Nan If he be miserable he will be pleased you shall be idle for exercise doth cause a hungry Stomack but if he be a jealous Husband he will not be pleased you should be idle for idleness breeds wantoness Mistriss Odd-Humour A jealous Husband and a miserable is to a woman much a-like for the one bars a wife from Company the other from Meat the one will not allow her fine Cloathes the other dares not let her wear fine Clothes the one will not maintain Servants to wait on her the other dares not trust Servants to wait upon her lest they should be corrupted to be Pimps or Bawds also a miserable Husband and a Prodigal one is a-like to a wife the one keeps all his wealth and spends none the other spends all and keeps none the one will give his wife none the other will spare his wife none from himself and Vanities and Vices thus a wife is poor or unhappy either in a spender or a sparer but if my Father would not cast me and my Portion a-way is to marry me to a man whose bounty or liberality is within one part of his wealth as three parts liberality and four parts wealth and one that hath more love than jealousy more merit than title more honesty than wealth and more wealth than necessity Nan But if you never marry till your Father get you such a Husband you will dy an old Maid Mistriss Odd-Humour I had rather dy an old Maid than be an unhappy Wife Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity Why are you angry with me because my Brother is an enemy to the marriage I was a Friend to it and did my part consenting to what you desired and why are you angry with me because the Laws have disanulled the marriage I cannot alter the Laws Lady But your Brothers power with the Arch-Prince and the Arch-Princes power on the Judges and Lawyers Divines and Church-men hath corrupted the Laws and caused Injustice Sir Thomas Gravity That 's none of my fault I have not power to mend them but let me have so much power with you as to perswade you to be patient in matters where your impatience will do you no good also let me Counsel you to advise your Daughter to endeavour to forget my Nephew at least not to love him as a Husband but to place her affections upon some other man for she being freed by the law may marry again who she shall think best to chuse And to draw her off from her Melancholy humour you must perswade her to divert her self and thoughts with variety of Company and to take delight in such things as other Ladyes use as fine Dressing rich Cloathing sportfull Dancing merry Meeting and the like and she being very handsome since she is grown to womans years will be admired praised and sued too in which admirations and praises women take glory and are proud to be wooed for it is the pleasure of their life and the life of their pleasure Lady But how if I cannot perswade her to associate her self with young Company like her self or to wear fine Cloaths or to take pleasure in sports and plays Sir Thomas Gravity Command her to adorn her self bravely and to go to Balls Playes and Masks and those pleasures will steal on her unawares and no question but a little time will make her take such delight therein as she will be so fond of Company and Bravery as you will find it difficult if not impossible to perswade her from it Lady I will take your Counsel and follow your advice Exeunt Scene 12. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. My Lord hath sent for his Son to come home for to marry with the Arch-Prince's Neece 2 Gent. She is a Lady that hath more Wealth than Beauty and more Title than Wit 1 Gent. My Lord cares not to marry his Son to Beauty or Wit but to Riches and Honour 2 Gent. My Lord is Covetous and Ambitious 1 Gent. So are all wise men for they know that Wealth and Honour are the Pillars and Supporters to hold up their Familyes that makes Fathers desirous and industrious to marry their Sons to great Fortunes and not to great Beautyes that their successors may not be buryed in Poverty for Beauty is only for delight but not for continuance Beauty lives only with fond Youth Riches with wife Age and Dignity Crowns antient Riches for a long and rich succession is a Gentlemans Pedigree 2 Gent. I thought Merit had been the foundation of a Gentleman 1 Gent. So it is sometimes but not always for where Merit Dignified one Family Riches Dignified a hundred poor Merit is buryed in Oblivion unless Fame builds him a Monument whereas Riches build Monuments to Fames Palace and bring Fame down to his Palace but Merit without the assistance of Riches can neither feed nor cloth nor sustain nor cannot buy Houses to live in nor Lands to live on it cannot leave anything for Antiquity but the memory of it self wherefore my Lord is wise to chase Riches for his Son 1 Gent. But 't is a question whether his Son will take them and leave the Lady be once was marryed too for 't is said that she is grown an extraordinary Beauty Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Lady Gravity and Lady Perfection her Daughter in black very handsome LAdy Gravity Will not you obey my commands Lady Perfection Yes Madam so far as it is my duty Lady Gravity Then do as I command you dress fine and keep Company Lady Perfection Gay Cloths Madam and my mind will not be suitable my indisposed humour and Company will not be agreeable neither know I how to behave my self in this condition I am in nor how to associate my self for since my marriage is disanull'd I am neither Maid Virgin Widow nor Wife Lady Gravity Come come you are my Daughter that 's sufficient Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Men 1 MAn Faith I pitty my young Lord for since he is returned from his tedious travels he is kept Prisoner at the Court for the Arch-Prince and his Father will not suffer