afflicted Circumstances wou'd allow of The Lady ask'd her what cou'd so suddainly overcast the accustom'd Sun-shine of her face and serenity of her mind with which but yesterday she had made 'em so happy She reply'd that she had receiv'd a Letter not two hours since that brought her a certain account that her Brother was kill'd in a Duel about two months ago Wherefore Madam pursu'd she I hope you 'll rather pity and pardon than blame these Tears which seem to give your Ladyship and this Honourable Person your Friend but a rude and untoward Reception Ah Madam reply'd the French Lady with Tears in her Eyes your Grief appears so beautiful and just on so sad an occasion that I 'm in Love with it and must in some measure partake of it For I have sometimes had the Honour of my Lord your Brothers obliging Conversation All this you may believe was no little mortification to Worthygrace who told Arabella that tho' Nature had deny'd him the relief of expressing his sorrow in Tears yet he believ'd his Heart was as sensibly touch'd with the loss of so Gallant a Man even as the Charming Arabella's And I am apt to Credit him And Madam continu'd he since we find your Ladyship under so great a pressure of Affliction we ought to esteem our selves happy in our visit to you since we may help to bear some part of its weight and break the violence of its fall on so tender a Heart In my opinion said Climane the French Lady his Friend 't were better we let the torrent of her Grief waste its impetuosity without any opposition and leave her as it were to Enjoy the fullen Usurper of her Reason There is a kind of satisfaction in a silent and interrupted Melancholly 'T is confess'd Madam reply'd he but to give place to it at first I fear may embolden and confirm it I am oblig'd Sir said Arabella to the kindness of your fears But I must needs acknowledge it a greater Obligation if you will permit me the Pleasure of this one days retreat For these ensuing hours return'd Climane we shall not contend with your Ladyship But to morrow in the name of good Reason we claim as our own 'T is indispensibly due to our Charity Look therefore you propose to receive us with as little uneasiness as we can expect from a Lady in your Circumstances So without staying for an answer or making any Complements they took their leaves in an humble and profound silence She was very glad they were gone For tho' she were extreamly troubled at the news her Brother sent her of the desperate condition he lay so long under thro' the largeness and number of his Wounds yet she was overjoy'd at the certain knowledge of his Recovery So that if they had stay'd any considerable time she cou'd not have maintain'd that sorrowful Countenance with which she at first receiv'd 'em to the end of the Chapter And if she had not 't wou'd directly have cross'd Bellamant's design of having his Death believ'd in France as well as here To which end he writ to her to put on Mourning and all outward shew of Grief for the loss of an only Brother And withall advis'd her to make what convenient haste she cou'd to England all which she most punctually observ'd As Henrietta did her Brother Worthygrace's here who in less than a weeks time had so well founded the depths of Philandra's Heart that she perceiv'd Philandra was clearly for rewarding the survivor in the Duel had there been any as she suppos'd there was not with the enjoyment of her Person and Estate Upon which to make a sure bargain for her Brother not knowing that his Heart was now otherwise engag'd she made an ouvert Relation to Philandra of the whole Business not so much as concealing her own Sex How cry'd Philandra in a transport of joy not to be equall'd or Counterfeited but by her self Does that great and Generous Soul still inform and Actuate the Body of your dear Brother and my Lover And are you not Horatio who are you then I am call'd Henrietta Madam reply'd she only Sister to Worthygrace who is now in France waiting till the Tide of State turn or to procure his pardon which alas I think is not in humane prospect O! might I but see him once more e're I dy'd said Philandra if seeing him must be All I then shou'd go contented to my Grave That 's as your Love or Interest shall instruct you Madam reply'd Henrietta but I rather hope you 'll consult the first only But possibly he has forgot me now Or which is worse may have another Mistress I doubt not Madam reply'd Henrietta to satisfie you of the contrary within these few weeks and to shew you his most grateful acknowledgements under his own hand and seal of so great and unexpected a favour as you have promis'd In the mean time I beg your Ladyship will still receive me as my Brother Horatio the better to continue the opinion of his Death That Madam return'd Philandra is but necessary to his greater security As they were thus concluding on matters between 'em Sir Blunder Slouch led in the feign'd Arabella to 'em Whom assoon as Philandra saw she whisper'd to Henrietta This is the Lady Arabella Sister to the Lord Bellamant Be cautious in your Discourse She then receiv'd and embrac'd the Pâ—â—…oated Lord with a great deal of respect and tenderness Who return'd her Complements and Caresses with equal Ceremony and Ardour Telling her he was now come to be happy for a week or more in her admir'd Company The two Contrefeits then saluted each other after which Philandra told the feign'd Arabella that it was Horatio younger Brother to Worthygrace whom then she saw And begg'd that the fatal effects ef their Brother's Gallantry might not give them any resentments against each other Upon which they renew'd their Complements ending with a Generous Compassion of each others loss in two such brave Men and so near Relations Then they din'd together at that time entertaining themselves at Sir Blunder's cost that was in their Raillery on him which perhaps he would have bought off at the price of half a score Dinners But however Bellamant appear'd pleasant in Discourse his thoughts were very troublesome he never took his Eyes from Horatio's Face unless when they encounter'd his and then with a Woman's Modesty he wou'd let fall his and it may be with a blush which t'other cou'd not avoid taking notice of to her self Now it was not Love bat Jealousie that fix'd Bellamant's Eyes on Horatio imagining that the younger Brother was now come to Rival him in Philandra yet he rather desir'd that she might mistake his Glances for those of Love which luckily for him she did After a modest Grace cup they fell into Cabals Arabella and Philandra Horatio and Sir Blunder Arabella's Gentlewoman and Horatio's Companion entertaining each other in Pairs When Bellamant to try if
Gripely thought it convenient her Daughter shou'd rise Allowing two hours for Dressing an hour for Dining and about as much for their journey for the Park So Philandra call'd for fresh Linnen and up she got Her thoughts were so wholly intent on the Adventure she was like to have that Afternoon that she quite forgot the Letter which she had fasten'd to her Shift and after Dinner took Coach without it For this Damn'd Maid Woman Whore I was going to say taking the Shift to lay it aside prick'd her Finger with the Pin that held it there Which when she had taken out the Letter fell on the Ground before her She immediately took it up and gave it to Slouch who came presently after he had Din'd to Sir Beetlehead's as was his Custom And withal made him a repetition of what she had overheard in Discourse between the Mother and Daughter soon afterwards she was call'd to wait on her Lady to the Park There were only those four who went in that Coach the Lady Gripely Philandra and Mariana I warrant you think that I can't count four as I shou'd do but you may be pleas'd to take notice that Mariana was with Child of a Slouch and more than half gone Well to the Park they got just as the Guards were reliev'd and in some few Minutes after Sir Blunder arriv'd there in his own Hackney Coach for he was too miserable to keep one Tho' he was as Proud as any Beggerly upstart-Citizen in Christendom when he was got through the Horse-Guards which no doubt he curs'd in his Heart because they were King James's and the Lord Dover's Troop too that were then upon Duty He took the Walk on the Left Hand by the Bird-Cage which as it happen'd was the right way to meet the Ladys who were gotten by this time about the middle of the Mall just over against St. James's House when they met the Lord Bellamant and the Lady his Sister Attended only by her Women and two Footmen After the first Salutation Bellamant addressed himself to the Mother Telling he that that Part of the World did bretter suit with Ladys of so Great Beauty and Gallantry than the Dull Precise and unmannerly City which they only made happy and valuable by their Residence in it more than it's Wealth and Traffick in the World To which the Lady Gripely reply'd that it was therefore the most advantagious place for them to live in since there their want of Breeding and Humour was the less observable I never thought Madam return'd the Lord Bellamant that I cou'd have been so unhappy as not to subscribe to ev'ry particular Opinion of your Ladyship 's till this unlucky Moment But Madam continued he applying himself to Philandra I am yet more unfortunately mistaken if you don't think this Air more agreeable to the Sweetness of your Complexions than the Smoaky Climat of that still unsatisfy'd and unhallow'd tho' pretended Sanctify'd Place And I fear Madam added he that your apprehensions of such a retreat from the Gay World threw you into a Melancholly which might have been no less fatal to me and all the admiring World than to your Ladyship had not Heaven preserv'd the nearest Copy of it self in you to be ador'd by all Mankind My Lord said Philandra I did really Arm my self against all Modesty e're I came abroad expecting indeed to receive such Volleys of your Wit and Gallantry She had gone on still had not Stopwell approaching 'em with Mr. Worthygrace and his Equipage prevented her My most Honour'd Lady cry'd he out aloud and my Divine Mistress Philandra How happy am I to see your Ladyship so well recover'd in your Health and Beauty as to adorn this Walk with what it so long has wanted in your absence Madam interrupted Worthygrace Mr. Stopwell wrongs the Court-Ladies some of which are really Great Beauties who frequently do bless this Park But pardon me Madam I beseech you if I think you have done 'em the greater injury in appearing hâ—â—e so much to their disadvantage ' Sdeath what Spark's this crys Bellamant to himself with a jealous frown and an angry blush but straight recalling himself said he to Worthygrace aloud Sir the Lady is out o'danger of being Flatter'd and you may go on at the same rate if you please But interrupted Philandra you may assure your self my Lord it will not altogether please me And I cou'd wish the Gentleman would spare himself the trouble of a second thought At this they both bow'd very humbly and were silent And then said the Lady Gripely taking up the Discourse but in the name of Wonder Mr. Stopwell how came you to find us here Madam reply'd the Coupé Marchant heaving that my Divine Mistress was taken Sick upon her return to Town I thought it my indispensible Duty to pay my Respects to her in enquiring of her Health if I might not have been permitted the Honour and Happiness of seeing her and this Afternoon I had the good Fortune to learn from Sir Beetlehead then at home that your Ladyships were gone towards the Park whereupon as I was going to call a Coach this worthy Gentleman my Honour'd Friend prevented me by taking me into his own Coach he designing for a Walk in this place While they were thus discoursing Worthygrace happen'd to fix his Eye on the Lady Arabella where perhaps he discover'd as much Beauty and Goodness as ever was confin'd to one Person And no doubt he had thought so had he not been prepossess'd with a Passion for Philandra however at the same time he cou'd not but be somewhat touch'd with Arabella and was not a little surpriz'd to see two Persons so exactly alike as the Lady Bellamant and Arabella Mean while on t'other side Bellamant taking Philandra's hand and walking some few paces from the Company ask'd her if she knew that Gentleman she answer'd that this was the second time she had ever seen him giving him an account withal of what had pass'd between 'em at their first sight the day before she came to Town Indeed Madam said my Lord he makes a very Graceful Figure and speaks well Pray Heav'n and you Madam it prove not to my disadvantage No no my Lord said Philandra your Lordship does not conquer by halves I fear I have said too much added she with a blush but make the best and kindest use on 't you can for both our Interests Ah Madam reply'd he in a transport you have almost taken away from me the power to thank you for this mighty Blessing and to assure you that I can have no Interest but what must Centre in yours But I don't like this same Dancing-Master I fancy he helps to play the Game against me No matter my Lord said she since I deal you are safe But come let us joyn Company for the Lady your Sister is at a loss for us Alas my Memory cry'd Bellamant I had forgot till now to tell you Madam that she came
certain loss of all his quiet Madam said my Lord if this worthy Gentleman's Fate be so Rigorous what severity has your Ladyship reserv'd for me How often I mean how seldom may I be permitted to pay my Devotion to you in an Age The seldomer the better Return'd she once more will satisfie for your whole Life So said Bellamant this comes of inquiring into a Man's own destiny Some farther prattle they had at the end of which they took their leaves of the fair Ladys and the two Knights As they were going out my Lord told Worthygrace that he had a Curiosity to shew him at his Lodgings and therefore desir'd that he wou'd give him the favour of his Company thither Your Lordship said Worthygrace shall Command me in any thing But one Interrupted my Lord shewing Worthygrace into the Coach Mr. Stepwell your Servant said Worthygrace you had best make use of my Coach to your own House Adieu Mr. Stepwell said Bellamant He humbly made his Obeisance to 'em both and Roll'd home in State But not without some suspicion of what might happen betwen ' em There were now no more in the Coach than my Lord and Worthygrace when my Lord with a sigh began thus to him How strangely does Fortune now at last begin to treat me I mean how severely since 't is the first most sensible Affliction that ever touch'd me to have you for my Rival You Worthygrace continu'd he whom above all Men my Soul wou'd chuse for its dearest Companion in all things but in a Mistress I know the greatness of your mind have seen a little of the sweetness of your Temper have receiv'd an obligation from you this day in delivering my Letter to Philandra seal'd as I sent it by that Trifle Stepwell from whom you had it And after all this is it not hard that I must own to you I cannot be happy if you live At least in your pretensions to Philandra This my Lord reply'd Worthygrace is certainly the greatest of my Misfortunes since give me leave to own this sacred truth to you your Lordship is the only Person among all Mankind with whom I cou'd have contracted a most Religious Friendship As on the other side That Charming Creature created to our Misery is she alone in whom I must be happy as in a Wife O! Pardon me return'd Bellamant you must not while I live You must therefore force your happiness through me as I will attempt mine from you Tho' Heaven knows with what regret To morrow Sir continu'd he I shall expect you on the backside of Southampton House The Field is near your Lodging and not far from mine Bring with you two of your best Friends as I will of mine whom I beseech you engage to be no farther Active than to endeavour the escape of the survivor For haply we may not both fall Nor either of us I cou'd wish return'd Worthygrace but ah my Lord these are but wishes No more said Bellamant but thus I have contriv'd it if you please our Chairs shall wait us at convenient distance and our Friends shall prevent the unseasonable kindness of our Servants And now in the mean time we 'll pray for one another And if it be my Fate to fall by you Heaven forgive you in its sweetest Mercy And if from you my Lord I meet my Death Heav'n grant you happy life here and hereafter so Worthygrace return'd and ask'd What hour my Lord 'T is light enough at four reply'd Bellamant be that the hour If 't is befitting your convenience Sir I shall most punctually observe your Lordships Commands said Worthygrace Till then let us embrace and Think and Act as Friends said my Lord embracing him To which t'other return'd and sigh'd ah wou'd to Heav'n my Lord I might for ever thus clasp you as my Soul's Heart Having thus assign'd the time and place they came at last to Bellamant's Lodgings where after they had taken a friendly Bottle Worthygrace left him to find and prepare his Friends against the next Morning which was as well Bellamant's business that night How soundly they slept I can't say But they met exactly together at the time and place Good morrow to your Lordship cry'd Worthygrace A happy one to my Dear and Honour'd Friend Return'd my Lord. E're we begin this unfriendly dispute continu'd he let me endeavour to make an acknowledgement and return of the Obligation you laid on me yesterday I here declare before these Gentlemen our worthy Friends that I am the Aggressour That I provok'd you to seek my Life to defend your own I know your Circumstances with his Majesty are not so advantageous for you as I cou'd wish I am sensible you refus'd to serve him with your interest for taking off the Penal Laws and Test Mine are quite otherwise This Letter therefore pursu'd he shewing a Letter is superscrib'd To his most Sacred Majesty whom Heav'n bless said the Lord Bellamant this of my Death will give a just account as well as of the manner how I sought it O! this my Lord reply'd Worthygrace this is unjustly Generous since 't is Rival'd Love that makes us both contend for the most glorious prize No more thy Friend but Rival think me then cry'd Bellamant as I will look on thee our Swords will else want points No more as Friend my Lord sk'd Worthygrace No more t'other a reply'd Philandra is the word At which they both drew and fell to it heartily Each was an excellent Master in that Bloody Science and long was the dispute Many and large Wounds were dealt on both sides and the Effusion of Blood was great on each part At last they clos'd and struggling fell both together with their Swords and Arms over each others back And both endeavour'd to rise but neither cou'd Which their Friends perceiving each Party took his Man and bore him off to his Chair But to give 'em their due those Spectators wou'd fain have been otherwise Active and had been had they not engag'd themselves most Religiously to the contrary And it was happy for the Principals that they did not Act in the Bloody part of this Scene So with Sighs and Tears almost gushing from their Eyes they took a sorrowful leave of each other And going different ways they dispos'd of their Honourable unfortunate Charges as they over night had receiv'd instructions from them The two Worthies were soon wanting to their Friends and Acquaintance especially Worthygrace to Stepwell who as I said before had some jealousy of the design Whereupon next day he waited on Philandra to know if she had seen or heard from him Who was a little surpriz'd to hear him enquire of his Friend from her I was going Mr. Stepwell said she to ask you concerning his health His Health Madam reply'd he in a melancholly tone pray Heaven he has his life What means this ask'd she I 'll say Amen to that Prayer always But satisfie me I beseech you why is
guilt of his blood Bellamant was damnably put to 't to check and withold himself from a discovery of who he was so provoking were her Caresses But the apprehensions he had of his Rival's death forbad him to hazar'd his life in a Womans hands tho' it had almost flown from him whether he wou'd or no while she was kissing him With some difficulty I think he got loose from the Serpent's embraces telling her that the memory of the dear Lord her Brother was so afflicting that unless she took a little air she shou'd immediately Die away With that he withdrew to the window and a kind fresh gale pretty well cool'd him Then turning again to her he presented her with a Paper See here Madam said he how passionately and constantly my dear Brother lov'd you this I found among some Papers of his superscrib'd to you Philandra took it and read At length Disdain Has broke the Chain And I am no longer your Amorous Slave My heart is too great For so servile a Fate And meerly Despair now has render'd me brave With equal contempt I behold all your Frowns And defie all the scorn which on me you misplace For alas 't was my madness that gave my Wounds And all my Devotion Idolatry was But Oh! my heart Still feels the smart And Death I perceive will the Conquest compleat Then frown once again T' encourage my pain And let not your Pity your Rigour defeat For since I must fall a Martyr to Love Let e'ry sad Circumstance torture my breast That I your Injustice the greater may prove And you be Tormented when I am at Rest This Madam said he you may believe was written since his fatal engagement with Mr. Worthygrace for the Characters of the Letters seem as if made by a weak and tremulous hand I fear they were reply'd she but his Character is engrav'd here in my heart too fair and deep to be eraz'd by any thing but Death The feign'd Arabella then gave her his Picture drawn in minature and set in Gold incircled with Diamonds and other Stones of great value which she receiv'd with a thousand kisses and lodg'd it between her lovely Breasts That Madam said he should have been the Throne of the Living and Substantial Bellamant And so it shou'd return'd Philandra cou'd he but live again In vain we wish or suppose that Madam reply'd he I must therefore divorce my self from your dear sight that with the greater freedom I may alone mourn his hard Fate 'T will be perform'd with the greater Solemnity Madam said Philandra if you stay and see me bear the heavier part for the loss of a Brother is not comparable to that of a Lover However Madam reply'd he I shall be the more sensibly afflicted to see my self out-done in my Grief No Madam interrupted Philandra you shall not rob me so soon of your Charming Conversation for I did at least flatter my self with the hopes of your Ladyships stay here this week You 'll pardon me Madam said Bellamant I have yet lain but two Nights in England and have not so much as any outward shew of mourning for the loss of so dear a Brother As soon as I reach'd the Town I went to pay my earliest respects to you Madam at the old House and not finding you there I learn'd from Sir Blunder where I might be so happy And now Madam added he you cannot but grant that it is necessary I shou'd make all possible haste to my dear Brother's Lodgings whence I came directly to wait on you to order what befits my Quality and present Circumstances In this return'd Philandra tho' with some regret I must submit to your Ladyship yet not without a promise of as speedy a return as your Honours convenience shall present I do most certainly oblige my self to that happiness Madam Reply'd the Beautiful Counterfeit and I am so far provided that I have already found and entertain'd my Brother's Coach-man and two of his Footmen who brought and attended me hither but Theodora my Woman whom I took with me to Paris I left there at my coming away hardly recover'd of a Surfeit she took with eating too many Grapes Nor do I mean to take any other being almost assur'd of her Recovery Secure in your goodness of your promise Madam said Philandra I shall now more earnestly look and wish for that kind and blessed day that shall return you to my longing arms than I shou'd expect my Wedding-day with the most Beautiful and most Accomplish'd Man breathing O happy yet happy Bellamant cry'd he if thou knewst how kindly thou art preserv'd in her memory to which I eternally recommend and leave him Madam return'd Philandra I am your Honours most humble Servant So waiting on him to his Coach they bowed and parted While Bellamant was thus successfully personating his Sister Arabella Worthygrace who had been near a fortnight in Paris one day made a visit to a Lady of Quality of his former acquaintance with whom he found the Lady Arabella in company with the Lady her Relation to whom she went over You may imagine he was a little startl'd at so strange a Rencounter especially when her Beautiful Face reminded him so nearly of the Lord her Brother whom he believ'd kill'd by his hand He was going therefore to retreat telling the Lady that since he saw her engaged in better Company and haply in greater business than a bare formal Visit which he then came to pay her he wou'd take an opportunity to wait on her to obtain his pardon for having given her a diversion of happiness she must needs enjoy in the Conversation of those fair Ladies The Lady his friend who was of an extraordinary good humour and had a great respect for him ran immediately to him and taking him by the hand told him that his visit was so surprizingly pleasant since she had not seen him in more than a twelve month and knew not that he was in France that if Madam Maintenon had been there discoursing and consulting her how to make her great at Court which she cou'd not be so vain or fond as to wish she wou'd certainly have left her abruptly to have enquir'd of his health and the present state of his Affairs if he wou'd not have condescended to joyn conversation with them Worthygrace seeing himself so finely drawn in set as good a face upon the matter as his Conscience wou'd permit him and after having made his Baise-mains to all three of them he sat down and entertain'd 'em very pleasantly for about half an hour partly with some of the late accidents that befell him in England giving 'em a little hint of the passion he had for a Beautiful Lady but never so much as touching upon any dispute he had for her or naming the Lord Bellamant Arabella who all this while look'd on him very stedfastly when ever his eyes were turn'd from her which he took care shou'd not be very often
of his Wife's Kindness to another Man of a most easie and credulous Nature to the fair Sex a tall heavy cold phlegmatick Booby a great Coward and very Rich by Profession a Norwich Factor a great Favourite of Sir Beetlehead's so like him in his Intellects Religion and Morals that Gripely was resolved since he was not his own lawfully begotten Son he should be his Son by Marriage which doubtless he had brought to Perfection had the Old Man lived but a Quarter of a Year longer Besides this Slouch you may be pleased to observe that in the long and tedious Catalogue of her Adorers there was found as Ringleader of all those her well-affected Subjects and Slaves the Lord Bellamant a Beau of the First Rate a young beautiful Spark of true Courage and Gallantry and of near 5000 l. a Year Estate of Wit and Humour enough to accomplish any thing he undertook He and his Sister were Twins wherefore as I am told they were born much about the same time At most as I am credibly inform'd by the Learned in such Cases there could not be a Quarter of a Year's Difference in their Age And they were so passing alike that one of his Legs was not more like t'other than she was to him though his Legs were both equally proportionable and handsome Their Stature was equal their Complexion the same being exceeding Fair the Tone of their Voices alike soft and charming each had a Mole on the Right Cheek but his was not so obvious to Sight because of his Perruke and therefore rarely taken notice of Their Thoughts and Passions proceeded as from one Soul only Nature and different Education according to their Sexes had given Arabella for that was her Name if you 'll believe me or if you don 't I cann't tell how you 'll be better satisfied a greater share of Modesty and strictness of Vertue than her Brother On this Extraordinary Man Philandra thought she had bestow'd her deceitful Heart Nay and I dare say at sometimes she did most passionately and intirely love him Letters past daily between 'em while she was under her yet innocent Exercises But as the Devil would ha 't who ow'd her a spite though I cann't tell for what for I 'll be sworn she never disoblig'd him wittingly in all her Life one Day as she was Dancing she dropp'd a Letter which she had written in Answer to one of the Lord Bellamant's and who should take it up but that damn'd eternal Coxcomb Sir Blunder who was most plaguily Assiduous in his Visits to her especially on Dancing Days The Booby it seems could Read and finding it Inscrb'd To the Lord Bellamant whom he had seen there Twice or Thrice began to be troubled with a swelling at his Nose having some reasonable Jealousie that Bellamant dress'd and talk'd somewhat finer than he though he could not allow him to be half so proper a Fellow The witty Dog concealing his Resentments clapp'd the Letter into his Pocket as rightly imagining she would never look for it there Nor truly did she miss it till he had the Opportunity of Reading it as he was going for London in his Hackney Coach when releasing it from the fulsome Company of his Bills and Bonds he found under Hand and Seal these Words following MY LORD IF your Lordship could assure me that what you have said and written to me were not a piece of Gallantry natural to you and in Course to all young Creatures of our easie Sex I should certainly have Reason to think my self the happiest Creature breathing in your Lordship's Esteem however be your Address real or feign'd it appears so Advantageously for you that I cannot chuse but wish that you did sincerely Love PHILANDRA Uds Fives and Nines cry'd Slouch aloud here 's fine work Are you taken with your fine Show A poor young Fellow hardly Nineteen with ne're a hair upon his Chin and because forsooth he can Dance Soft and Fair This Pace will never carry it Yet how shall I prevent it Oh! I think I 've found it out He 's a Rank Papish and Sir Beetlehead hates a Papish as bad as I do which I do as utterly as Plain-dealing and Poverty But if she Loves him what then Why let 'em Marry in the Devil's Name so I can but get her Father to disinherit her which I should not despair of in the least were it not for her Mother who is as Wanton and altogether Vain as she In this perplexity he got at last to Gripely's old Enchanted Castle where a great many Widows and Orphans lay bound in Vellum and Paper so fast that 't is not expected they should e'er get loose till Doom's-day when 't is thought they may Hamper Him But the old Fellow thinks 't is a great while hence and means to make all the present use of his Money that he can Just at the Hall Door the Two Villains encountred Slouch accosted the old One with a Face full of Concern contrary to what he was wont coming from Philandra insomuch that Sir Beetlehead himself took notice of it What 's the Matter Sir Blunder said he How does my Daughter Not so well as she should reply'd t'other or as you would have her I fear How how cry'd the Father what mean you Sir Blunder Explain your self 'pray for I am in the Dark Which no doubt he was in any part of that curs'd Fabrick without the help of Artificial Lights This Paper your Daughter dropp'd said Sir Blunder and I took it up unknown to her out of which if you can pick any thing to your Satisfaction I pray do Sir The old Man taking the Letter was forc'd to go into the Back-Parlour that look'd into a Neighbour's Garden where by the help of Four Eyes he made a shift to read it aloud in his Lady's hearing At the end of it he rav'd out Uds precious my Lady These are wicked Times indeed when our Children are plotting the Ruine of their Parents and contriving the Infirmity of their Families The Infamy you mean interrupted she But where 's the hurt of this For I understand the Business What if the Lord Bellamant have a Passion for her and she for him Where 's the danger of it He is a Person of Honour he has a good Estate and is a rising Man at Court For my part I could wish 't were a Match How Madam cry'd Slouch rudely Why he 's a Papish Ay he 's a Papish my Lady echo'd the old dry Trunk What of that said the young Lady of about Forty Is not King James our Sovereign a Papist No no my Lady reply'd Threescore and Twelve he is a Roman Catholick That 's the same Thing said she You 'll pardon me my Lady returned Gripely for every Subject who is that way given though he were a Duke is a Papish and the King and Queen only are Roman Catholicks Well but interrupted she what danger do you apprehend from your Daughter 's Marrying to
of Despair and Rage Enters Old Gripely and her own Dear Lady Mother Daughter cry'd the Old Testy Knight I can't say Gentleman look you here 's a Letter for you 't is worth your notice but you must stay to Read it till you come home In the mean time pursued he turning to her Servant Maiden pack up your young Lady's Trumpery and your own that we may take 'em along with us in the Coach Upon sight of the Superscription Philandra soon guess'd how it dropt from her Bosome into her Father's hands O base Unbred boobily Fellow cry'd she to her self aside to betray this unfortunate Paper to more unlucky hands Nay rather Interrupted her Mother who overheard her and spoke softly most unmindful and regardless Creature so to Dispose of what might for ever Oblige or Ruine thee But no more restrain your Passion I 'le see to compose all this to your Satisfaction Come cry'd Old Gripely we 'll take a fair leave of your Mistress and you may bid farewel to your School-fellows by that time Mariana will have got all things ready Just at these words in came the Old Beldame with her shaking Head and her Heart trembling for the loss of so good a Scholar which she learn'd from Reins was to be the ungrateful Consequence of this unseasonable Visit and while the Parents were making their Apology for so unexpectedly taking home their Daughter Philandra made shâ—ft unperceiv'd to convey a little Cabinet Cramm'd with Epistles of her Lovers to a young Lady sometimes her Bedfellow and Confident whom she instructed how and when to dispose of it returning time enough to receive her Governesse's Sage Advice and Prayers to whom she return'd thanks in Gales of Sighs and Floods of Tears to think she must now lose those dear opportunities of Hearing and Relating with several of those pretty young Creatures her School-fellows how often how near each of 'em were only like to have been undone thro' some malicious disappointment of their Cruel Stars which had more care of their Happiness than they themselves besides a thousand other such advantages which now she fear'd she must forego But to be short home they got about Nine at Night where her Father gave her a round rally which she took so much to Heart as she went to Bed and resolv'd not to see the Sun as long as she stay'd within doors which Resolution she cou'd not avoid keeping unless she got to the top of the House in a fair day and then you 'l say perhaps she was not within doors But she really kept her Bed for three or four days and affected a deep Melancholy which was at length attended by an ugly Distemper call'd the Itch of Gadding Abroad In the Cure of this her Pious Lady Mother was very instrumental for after having caus'd her to be let Blood which then was not very unseasonable the Summer being very moderate and after one Dose of Pills with some Good Costly and Comfortable Cordials she easily prevail'd with Mr. Physmacary who was both Doctor and Pothecary in Ordinary to that Blessed Family to agree agree with her that it was most expedient her Daughter shou'd take a little fresh Air. This was easily accorded to by Old Gripely for he knew that ten miles of the best Air wou'd not cost him half so much as two Ounces of the worst Cordial and the next day was prefix'd for it During the Malignancy of her Distemper which reign'd chiefly in her Head where it does in most People of her Youth Humour and Circumstances the Lord Bellamant had been to pay his Devoirs to her at the Boarding School There he heard of her suddain removal which tho' at first it startled him yet on second thoughts he propos'd greater advantages to himself by it And his last Design was to get his Twin-Sister Arabella to Accompany Aurelia Philandra's sometimes Bedfellow and Confident in a Visit to her which she receiv'd the Afternoon She was once again at least to be blest with the sight of the Gay World and the Scent of the Court Air intending for St. James's Park You may imagine she was not a little pleas'd at the sight of her Dear Confident and of the Lady Arabella which last brought the Beauties of the Lord her Brother so fresh in her Memory that Philandra had like to have fallen into a fit of Sickness indeed To think it was not that Substantia Figure she would have seen at her Bed-side or rather have Embrac'd in her Bed After the two young Ladies had condol'd with the Lady Gripley who was still present the cruel Malady of her Daughter the indulgent Mother knowing by her own past Circumstances that the presence of a Parent might cause some restraint in their Freedome of Discourse very Modestly and Kindly withdrew Philander's Attendant waiting on her to the door she not permitting her Daughter the trouble of that Ceremony By which means Arabella had the opportunity of presenting Philandra with a Letter which her Brother had trusted to her discreet mannagement to deliver to Philandra's own fair hands which tho' at all times they were exceeding fair yet now by this white as Ah! wou'd my Shirt ay or my Crevat were as white the falling Snow for she had us'd a peculiar Ointment and lay in Dog-skin-Gloves with her Arms extended over her Head all this while unless when any Visitors came I believe I can procure you a Receipt of the Oyntments to oblige you Ladies for I know Mr. Physmacary very well But now she pull'd off one of her Gloves to receive the Billett doux which yet she cou'd not Read because of the suddain return of her Attendant Wherefore she conceal'd it in her Bed till a more convenient time However she sent as proper an answer to it as if she had perus'd it a hundred times over Telling the Ladys that she was advis'd to breath a little fresh Air and that on the Morrow her Lady Mother and she design'd for St. James's Park where she shou'd be happy to meet such excellent Company as their Ladyships about four in the Afternoon The Lady Arabella soon took the hint and promis'd she wou'd endeavour to divert her by the best means in her Capacity Which she knew was by bringing her Brother And immediately upon this she and Aurelia Kiss'd her fair Cheek and so Commending her to Heaven's Care quitted the Room why Fair Cheek now you 'l say perhaps Why let it be soft Rosy or Fair I care not which 't is not a pin matter but one of 'em it must be in my Opinion No sooner was Mariana her Attendant gone to wait on the Ladys down Stairs but Philandra Ravished the Letter from between the Sheets and after having thrice Kiss'd it she saw on the outside these words To the Charming Philandra In the inside she found he expressed himself thus YOV cannot think Madam nor I express what dreadful Apprehensions I had at first of your hasty and I fear
with me hither particularly to Kiss your hands e're she goes to a Relation of ours who is a Lady Abbess in France with whom she designs to stay near a Twelvemonth beginning her journey about three days hence By this time they were come up with the rest of the Company when Philandra told Arabella that she was sorry to hear she must all on a suddain lose the happiness of her Charming Conversation which she had as well promis'd to her self as wish'd to enjoy all the days of her life Madam reply'd Arabella I have had so great a desire of seeing some part of France these many Years that I cou'd no longer defer giving my self that satisfaction Especially since my Lady Abbess is now so pressing in her Invitation And unless your Ladyship will lay your absolute Commands on me to the contrary I must leave England within these few days Ah Madam return'd Philandra I can pretend to no such influence in your Ladyships Actions Besides if I might with Reason you may assure your self that I wou'd rather wholly disquiet my self than give the least least interruption to your Ladyships pleasure That were too great a Condescension in you Madam to me reply'd Arabella since you may be confident that you have an Arbitrary and Dispensing power in every thing relating to my Brother During this Discourse between 'em Worthygrace was examining the difference of their Beauties and found much more of Modesty and Sweetness in Arabella's Face than Air and Gayety which did chiefly reside in Philandra's who yet had a Languishing cast with her Eye at some times when she design'd an Absolute Conquest which did not a little denote her cunning And 't was this had vanquish'd him more than the noise of her thirty thousand pounds Portion For he was truly Generous and lov'd for loves sake and that most passionately But now removing his Eyes from their belov'd object and turning 'em on t'other side he found the Lord Bellamant surveying him from Head to Foot Which made Worthygrace as nicely examin him At last after a short encountre of their Eyes Well Sir said my Lord what have you observ'd about me to my Advantage I fear nothing at all continu'd he but what makes wholly for yours So much on the contrary reply'd he that I assure your Lordship I wou'd not have you for a Rival of all Mankind And I cou'd wish with your Lordships Pardon that you were not only like that Beautiful Lady added he bowing toward Arabella in outward Figure alone but ev'n in her very Sex I must avow to you my Lord 't wou'd give me a great deal of ease Methinks Sir said Bellamant you look on me already as one that is a Disturber of your joys If I do my Lord return'd Worthygrace you are too secure in your own Merits to fear any attempt from me As they were thus entertaining one another Sir Blunder pass'd 'em on one side of the Mall close to the Walk that leads to St. James's House observing them most narrowly but unobserv'd of them It seems he was near enough to take notice that Bellamant led Philandra and whisper'd very frequently with her That Stepwell usher'd the Lady Gripely and Worthygrace as yet a stranger to him was fain to take up with the Finest Creature there I mean Arabella What Bellamant and Philandra whisper'd seem'd to Slouch at that distance to be some Assignation or some Damn'd Love-Intrigue or other not at all in favour of him An hundred times did he wish that he had been in my Lord's Heart or 〈◊〉 least that he had had his Ears he durst not venture to go near enough for either of 'em for fear of a Reprimand from Bellamant who by this time was acquainted with the whole story of his Villany At last all on a suddain clapping her hand on her left side Philandra miss'd the Letter she received from my Lord the day before This made her stand as fix'd as the Statue at the end of the Canal But in a more defenceless posture For she had already receiv'd a second blow from Fortune and there was no guarding her self against what was past By her looks on Bellamant she appear'd strangely mortify'd at something which all the Company took notice of upon that suddain motion of her's with her hand Art not well my Dear cry'd the Lady Gripely running hastily to her yes Madam answered she pretty well now I humbly thank your Ladiship 'T was only a stitch that took me on the suddain and as quickly has left me Ha! thought Slouch all this while watching ev'ry particular motion of the whole Company especially Bellamant's and Philandra's I can tell your Distemper better than Mr. Physmacary himself For I have the occasion of it here in my Pocket which I will so improve that you shall either marry me or dye of the Pip and so lead Apes in Hell I 'm now going to your Father and consequently every step I make is towards her Bad. Saying so he left the Park and them to follow him which they did in less than an hour after fearing the Air might be too sharp for Philandra's longer stay there the first time every one expressing their real grief for the apprehension they had of the return of her Distemper At the end of the Mall they were oblig'd to part Philandra and her Mother for the City the Lady Arabella with her Attendant and one Footman return'd to their Lodgings in Soho-Square for my Lord would needs take a Bottle with Worthygrace at the Blue-Posts in the Hay-Market where they did very pleasantly with Stepwell drinking to Philandra's Health and discoursing of their Travels in which Worthygrace had much the advantage having stayed some time in most of the Princes Courts in Europe Bellamant having only made the Tour of France and some short stay at Rome and Venice After which he spent somewhat more than a Twelvemonth in the Court of France and the Campaign Having drank and talk'd their heads pretty empty of further thought and eaten their bellies full they took a very obliging farewell of each other both extreamly satisfied with one anothers merit but not a little dissatisfied that they found they were Rivals however they Convers'd and parted like Persons of Honour expecting from Philandra the fatal determination of their happiness or misery In the mean time as they were making homewards Philandra looking very earnestly on Mariana ask'd her if she had not met with a Letter among the Linnen which she had put off that day To which she reply'd That indeed she took up a Paper that lay on the ground and because she could not read it she gave it to Sir Blunder who told her that 't was only a new Song which her Ladyship had transcrib'd and that therefore she took no farther notice of it but left it with him O thou Screcch-Owl cry'd Philandra all in a flame what do I hear Oh! thou hast betray'd me to the greatest of misfortunes exposing
me to the base practices of that Eternal Booby Slouch O most unfortunate accident cry'd the Mother another Letter faln into his hands Madam said Mariana about to justifie her self Be dumb be dumb for ever here on Earth interrupted Philandra or if thou needs must yell howl out inevitable Damnation to Despairing Souls Oh! It were Charity to what th' hast done what Sacrific'd a second time to that Slave's Interest 'T were merciless I 'm sure in Humanity to act thus but Heaven I hope has kinder ends in it Ah! Madam pursu'd she how shall we meet my jealous Father who is byass'd in every thing by that hated Fiend No doubt return'd the Mother the Greeting will be very extraordinary Fools that we were pursued she not to perceive 'till now that this sly Minks is a meer tool of his his Creature foisted upon us to serve his hated ends All this while the plaguy Gypsy sate sobbing and blubbering and staining with her Crocodile tears her Handkerchief which before was as white as innocence At last with much difficulty she sputter'd out Madam if your Ladyship thinks that I have designedly injur'd you in this I humbly beg your Ladyship to dismiss me your Service for I had rather be robb'd of that Happiness and Honour than live under your Ladyship's Displeasure and Suspicion Ah! wou'd to Heaven cry'd Philandra you had propos'd this some weeks ago it might perhaps for ever have establish'd my Peace and Quiet which now I fear is utterly ruin'd However continu'd she your Request tho' much with the latest is very grateful to me and you may be confident you shall not be long without your wish if my honour'd Mother has no further Commands for you Little did she think that this dismission would be as wellcome to Mariana as it was obliging to her But I can assure you it had been of equal advantage to all three had it not been for a slippery Trick that Fortune play'd this unluckie Damsel No no return'd the Lady Gripely my last Command to her is that she continue in the Resolution of leaving us and that by to morrow this time At these words they found themselves just at their own door which the Mother and Daughter enter'd but with aking hearts fore-boding but a sorrowful reception which was reserv'd it seems by the two ill-natur'd Blockheads agreement to a more convenient time For Slouch immediately upon his leaving the Park came and found Gripeley at home and took him to the Coffee-House where he recounted to him all the Discourse between the Mother and Daughter as he had learn'd it from Mariana shewing Bellamant's Letter to Philandra and withall gave him an account of the Honourable Company he had seen with them in the Mall He chose rather to take him to a Coffee-House there to distract him with this Relation than his own House fearing the Ladies might return and surprize him as he was doing 'em that signal piece of Knight's Service The Ladies had just time to quit themselves of that part of their Dress which was unnecessary in the House when Old Gripely and Slouch came to 'em the last of which as it was contriv'd between 'em over a Cup of the Devil's Communion-Wine after having paid his Respects to the Ladies came up closer to Philandra and taking the Letter out of his Pocket convey'd it into her hand as it were unperceiv'd of the Old Gentleman who began to wellcome home his Lady Wife with all the Sugar-plum-words he us'd to feed her with at his first Courtship This was surprizing and kind and I am apt to believe it was one of their last Honey-Nights but for a fortnight after Philandra was under a severer restraint than ever During all which time she could not receive one Billet-Doux from either my Lord or Worthygrace tho' they both had endeavour'd to supply her a hundred times and a hundred ways with those Paper-Refections especially the Lord Bellamant Who meeting Stepwell one Day about Noon desir'd him to â—ake one Bottle with him at the Rose in Covent-Garden So to Long 's they came where after a Glass or two Bellamant enquir'd of Worthygrace's health and drank to the continuance of it Then he proceeded to ask Stepwell when he had been at Mr. Beetlehead and how Matters went with Philandra since they last saw her in the Park Of which Stepwell could give him no further account than that he understood she was now more strictly confin'd than ever My Lord then taking him by the hand presented him with Fifty Guineas and told him withall that he must thence forward beg his Friendship at the same time assuring him of his and that he wou'd use his interest at Court or any where else to serve him at any time To which he very obediently reply'd That his Life and all his Circumstances both Present and Future were and shou'd be always at his Lordship's Devotion except his Reputation which he was confident my Lord wou'd never engage him to hazzard Mr. Stepwell said the Lord Bellamant had I thought that you had not had a true value for that I shou'd not have ask'd your Friendship and to shew you that the favour I wou'd entreat of you is Just and Honourable I only desire you to endeavour to deliver this Letter to the hands of the Charming Philandra My Lord return'd he that I will endeavour it I do engage my Reputation to your Lordship and that within these two hours for I am just going to Sir Beetleheads to propose a Business that will be of no little advantage to him but that I shall succeed to your Lordships and my own Wishes I dare not promise Your Endeavours are all I ask Sir reply'd Bellamant only this further I could wish That you would let me know by to morrow this time what success you have had Your Lordship shall find me most punctually and sacredly Obedient in what you have Commanded me said Stepwell I cannot doubt it Sir return'd my Lord tho' I am sensible that Honourable Friend of yours has justly a greater interest in you than my self However at the same time I am assur'd you will oblige me in this if he has not already engaged you to the contrary Be confident my Lord he has not reply'd t'other only I beseech your Lordship to let me know if I may entrust this Paper to any Person who I am certain may and will present it to my Divine Mistress her self By all means use your own discretion in that answer'd my Lord for I wholly rely on your mannagement in this matter Thus after having again consecrated their Glasses with the Fair and Divine Lady's Health and Stepwell being well satisfied with the Fifty Guineas as Bellamant was of his Integrity in this Affair they parted my Lord to the Court and Stepwell to the Den of a Thief I don't mean to Ch tho' for all that for he had had no business that way of a long season but to Gripeley's he went
Told him after he had given 'em an account of his misfortune in Love she fancy'd she had the honour to be known to that Beautiful English Lady to whom he had pay'd so great a devotion as well as the good fortune to have seen him once in the Mall with her where then was the Lord Bellamant her Brother And I remember Madam return'd he that I then had the happiness to behold those irresistable Charms you bear about you without the apprehension of any danger from 'em since then I was pre-possess'd But now I find a greater misfortune attends me for that I know from this moment I must both Love and Despair Arabella who possibly had a very advantageous opinion of his Person and Character the last of which she had from her Brother blush'd and smil'd telling him that she cou'd not but commend his Gallantry tho' it were so customary to him She then proceeded to ask him when he saw her Brother and whether he were well or no To which he answer'd that it was near two months since he had the honour to see him And added he Madam I hope in Heaven he is well If Sir said the Lady Arabella you have had such ill fortune in your Love of Philandra I am apt to flatter my self that my Brother may have better since I have often heard him say he valu'd no Rival but your self I can assure your Ladyship reply'd he he has none of me now But when did your Ladyship hear from him Not these two months return'd Arabella that is Sir I have receiv'd but one Letter from him since I left England which came to me some few days after my arrival hither Worthygrace thought it was very odd that he shou'd have been almost as long dead and she not have an account of it in all this time However he thought fit to ask her no more questions for Conscience sake So that after about an hours more discourse of the Affairs of the French Court and of Things indifferent to them the Ladies took their leave and when Worthygraee had seen 'em in their Coach he return'd with his good humour'd Acquaintance to whom he made a solemn declaration of his sudden passion for Arabella and withall told her what reason he had to despair of succeeding in it not so much as omitting the Duel nor the fatal Consequence as he thought of it The Lady was much disturb'd at the bloody part of the story however she promis'd her assistance and the interest she had with the Person of Honour Arabella's Relation But by the way she ask'd him how he cou'd so easily quit himself of Philandra's Chains and so immediately fall passionately in love with Arabella To which he reply'd Madam your last Question is an answer to your first because I am faln passionately in love with Arabella whom at first sight I thought one of the most Beautiful Creatures in the world therefore I have quitted my self of Philandra's chains Nor is this all for I am sensible that this Lady was Educated in all the strict yet generous Principles of true Vertue and Honour tho' she be a Roman-Catholick Not to speak of the advantage she has of Philandra in real Beauty which on a review any impartial eye may discern when t'other has but a tawdry wanton fading prettiness which cannot hold above ten years Nor will I much reflect on the ill Principles of her Parents nor the Ill-gotten Estate that made her Father the first Worshipful Rogue of his Family who brought her up in the true Whining and Canting Principles of a most Famous City where there are above a thousand several Families of the Gripley's But why ask'd the Lady was not all this consider'd before you fought Before we fought Madam reply'd he I lov'd her and cou'd think o' nothing but enjoying her But Madam continued he to your discretion I commend all my future happiness on Earth and I humbly kiss your hands 'till to morrow Be confident she return'd you shall not want the best endeavours of your Servant When Worthygrace left her he went directly to his Lodgings and dispatched a Letter to his Sister Henrietta a Lady of about Eighteen being a year older than her Brother Horatio at that time in Italy In which he entreated her by all means to confirm and continue the Report of his Death and with all begg'd of her to dispence with her modesty so far for his sake as to personate her younger Brother in Man's habit for in that borrow'd shape she might the more freely converse with Gentlemen in Town some of which might happily give her a certain account whether the Lord Bellamant were living or dead if not possibly Philandra wou'd whom he advised to deceive with that disguise unless she found her a friend to his interest which wou'd undoubtedly strengthen her and all the rest of his Acquaintance in the opinion of his death and that perhaps was the only way to preserve his life With this Letter he sent her a Bill of Exchange for a Thousand Pounds that she might appear as her Brother Horatio next Heir to the Estate Upon perusal of these Papers she was at first in a dispute whether she shou'd act according to her Brother's entreaty or obey the severe dictates of her modesty which seem'd absolutely to forbid her to change her Sexes habit but at last she was over-rul'd by the necessity of her Brother's Circumstances Wherefore leaving Yorkshire in Man's Cloaths with a young Gentlewoman her Attendant she came to Town where she equip'd her self and her Companion with Mourning Suits the Mourning Coach and Liveries were soon prepar'd and all things necessary and decent And thus accouter'd she resolv'd first for Philandra's having had a great curiosity a long time to see that fatally Celebrated Beauty Rightly imagining too that she might as soon learn the certainty of Bellamant's Life or Death from her as from any one of my Lord's Acquaintance in Town to whom she was as yet a stranger The feign'd Horatio was most kindly receiv'd by Philandra with all the signs of a most sensible grief for the death of so brave a Man and so Generous a Lover as Worthygrace Telling the Counterfeit Horatio that she cou'd not part with so near a Relation and so dear a Friend of that Worthy Man whose Love was his only fault and misfortune without giving him more signal proofs and ample expressions of the veneration she had for his Memory wherefore she must needs oblige him and his friend to stay some few days with her which after some importunity they yielded to where we will leave 'em and make a trip over into France The next day after Worthygrace had entertain'd Arabella with the discourse of his unfortunate Love the French Lady of Quality Worthygrace's particular Friend went with him in his Coach to wait on the Lady Arabella whom they found almost drown'd in tears however she receiv'd 'em with all the evenness of temper that her
he had any reasonable grounds for his Jealousie enter'd on a design the most odd and least practicable that perhaps you have heard of for mistaking Henrietta for her younger Brother he took occasion to speak so obligingly of the pretended Horatio's Person Meen and Conversation to Philandra that she cou'd not doubt that it proceeded from the immediate Passion of Love And to speak justly of her though Henrietta had different Charms in her Face Person and in all her Actions yet she had as many and as great as Philandra or the real Arabella Madam said Philandra to Bellamant Your Ladyship speaks so sensibly of this Gentleman's Perfections that I have some reason to believe you cou'd love him most passionately Possibly Madam return'd he if there were any prospect of his kind return to such thoughts as you seem to entertain that it were not to invade your just Prerogative of Empire over the Hearts of all the desertful Men I should not blush to own that I have no common Respect for a Person of his Merits 'T is enough replied Philandra I humbly thank your Honour Madam for so free a Confession And shall esteem myself infinitely happy if your Ladiship will use me as an Instrument in the uniting two such generous Hearts Be confident of me I beseech your Ladiship continued she and be easie for I will so manage this Affair that he shall make his Addresses to your Ladiship I perceiv'd and understood the Discourses of your Eyes on either side whilst at Dinner Let not my Modesty suffer I conjure you Madam said the feign'd Arabella for I had rather die in Despair Trust my Conduct Madam return'd Philandra it shall not cost you a Blush more than what the Discourse of his Passion may occasion While the Lord Bellamant was thus pretending a Passion for Horatio the young counterfeit Spark's Eyes did often meet Bellamant's which he observ'd well enough And at the same time was that beautiful Youth speaking very advantageously but justly too of the feign'd Arabella's Excellencies to Sir Blunder Slouch who tho he was no great Artist in Love yet imagin'd that the Youngster had a Month's Mind to a Person of Honour which at the first opportunity he had tho desir'd to keep it secret according to the invincible Treachery of his Nature he discover'd to Philandra And she after she had paid her earliest Devoirs to the suppos'd Arabella whom she left in Bed went directly to Henrietta's Apartment and charged her with what she had learn'd from Sir Blunder Slouch She cou'd not but admire the Secrecy and Integrity of that Knight nor did she deny that she had said all she cou'd think in praise of that beauteous Creature And all dear Madam cried she comes short of her Merits Indeed I have a just reason to thank Heaven that she is not a Man This is as I wou'd have it said Philandra for she is passionately in love with you and I must see your Hearts and Hands united in the Holy Bands of Matrimony an 't shall please you Sir Why you rave Philandra said she Do you know who and what I am Yes you are the Charming Henrietta replied Philandra Sister to my dear Worthygrace and Woman-kind And interrupted Henrietta would you have the seeming Brother of Worthygrace marry with the Lord Bellamant's real Sister Why there 's the jest and the earnest on 't replyed Philandra for it will give the better countenance to the Report of your Brother's Death But consider I remind you said Henrietta that I am meer Womankind I do so replied Philandra and there will be the pleasure on 't to see how she will bear the loss of her Expectation in you Ah cry'd Henrietta but by your Pardon Madam methinks that wou'd be somewhat barbarous and a great Indignity to a Person of her Quality Barbarous said Philandra not at all Child For being both of one Sex the Marriage is void of course And as for the Indignity in my Opinion 't is none 't will only be look'd on as a Condescension in you to pleasure her Besides we 'll find out some Trick or other to part you without discovering your Sex to her Come come pursued she it must be done I am resolv'd on 't Well dear Madam return'd Henrietta to pleasure you but let me own it with Pardon more particularly to serve my Brother I will begin the Courtship to the Lady Arabella This was agreed and proceeded on that very day and the fair Counterfeit found he shou'd have no hard Siege of his beautiful Mistress's Heart I think at the third Approach he made towards it she began a Parley at the end of which she surrender'd on Discretion Married then they were but very privately and with no Solemnity or Mirth more than usual unless it were the addition of two or three Country-Fidles and the pleasure of seeing Sir Blunder very bestially Drunk At night Arabella was put to Bed trembling for fear of a Discovery of his Sex being partly undress'd by Philandra's fair Hands You may imagine what a fine condition she was in when Philandra came to finger her Neck near the place of her No-bubbies 't was then she was forc'd to pretend she was ready to swoon away with a faint and almost dying Voice begging Philandra and the rest of the Females to give her leave to put her self to Bed which with some difficulty they permitted her where she laid her self down close to the Bed-post a very hopeful Bride But the Bridegroom scap'd better for there was no man to undress him but Sir Blunder who had drunk himself out of that Office The Bridegroom no sooner came into Bed but as Philandra had instructed him he took the Bride about the neck and as it were forc'd a kiss and then the Company left 'em to themselves for that night and each mistaking the others Sex after some comical reflections to themselves on their odd and hasty Marriage fell fast asleep Bellamant with the pleasure to think that he had now defeated Philandra of a second Lover and Henrietta with the satisfaction that this Gordian knot might be unty'd when ever she pleas'd Between Seven and Eight the next morning the fair Bridegroom ask'd his Bride how she had slept that night To which she reply'd very well and quietly I thank you Sir he wish'd her then a good morrow which she return'd to him and not long after he rose leaving the Bride the opportunity of dressing her self which I can assure you was then very obliging About half an hour after came in the fulsom mess of Cawdles with Potions of Tent and Malaga which whether she tasted or no I was not curious to enquire After Dinner they took Coach as they had contriv'd with Philandra and seem'd to drive for London taking their leave of Sir Blunder who in less than an hour went directly for the Town while they return'd a contrary way to Philandra This was done to prevent the trouble of so
resembles that were it Fair as it is Black I cou'd not easily mistake it for Philandra in Man's Cloaths I 'll put all this together and let me see what does it spell Contrivance Ay that 's it Now is this little fair Devil grown malicious and in revenge that I have robb'd her of the younger Brother comes to tempt my Vertue and Debauch me if possible which was well put in in the habit of a fine Spark and then to betray me to Horatio mistaking me still for my Sister And I must needs own that I fear I am not Temptation-proof No no 't is certain I am not Alas alas what will become of me then Why I may thank my Petticoats for all the lewdness that is like to ensue Oh Petticoat Petticoat how attractive thou art of all Vices Why faith now he was much in the right on 't only in this he mistook that it was Philandra's Revenge For the Design was to take the suppos'd Arabella in Bed with the pretended Winlove to give the feign'd Horatio a seeming just occasion of parting with her Bellamant was ravish'd with the design which he perceiv'd Philandra had of ruining her self and with impatience expected when she wou'd begin it However he spent that night very pleasantly with his two Friends who carry'd him out of the fatal Field over a Bottle or Two And the next day about Eleven one of her Servants for now 't is Arabella again came to acquaint her that one Mr. Winlove enquir'd for his Master upon which she sent the Servant to wait on him in and came down stairs her self to receive him The treachery there began with a kiss too Then after having enquir'd of his Cousin's health and when she expected his return And having highly tho' not sufficiently complemented her Beauty at which he seem'd as much astonish'd as she was at the strange alteration the change of habit and other disguises had made of the Person of Philandra who had on a Black Perruke had black'd her eye-brows and eye-lids and had left a kind of shadow on her upper Lip as if she had been newly shav'd Winlove was for taking his leave which by no means his Lady Cousin wou'd permit designing a happier Night than ordinary and in short prevail'd with him to stay Dinner when he fell afresh into large Encomiums of her Beauty sighing to think that his Cousin was and must be the only happy man in the World in the enjoyment of such Perfections as her Ladyships of which he was Eternally to be debarr'd She told him she believ'd it was in his power to make himself as happy as his Cousin Winlove was a little surpriz'd at that answer of hers yet taking Courage threw at all approachng her more closely and kissing her till her Face was all Feaver and her Eyes were all Flame Then by a seeming force she got from him and withdrew into the next room I see said Philandra to her self my Documents have pretty well taken root in her she warms apace I must not let her Cool Saying so he pursu'd her into the next Room where he wou'd have renew'd his Caresses But she in a languishing tone and hiding her face told him that tho' her Husband had desir'd her to deny him nothing as indeed she cou'd not deny him any thing yet she begg'd she might have a little respite to bethink her self what she was going to do Nay Madam return'd he that 's the way to ruine my Hopes However we 'll Sup together if you please and so contrive matters that no notice may be taken of the Happiness which I hope your Ladiship designs me afterwards They did so and things were order'd accordingly that is he was put to Bed in the next Room on the same Floor to her And Arabella's Page in Woman's Cloaths double-lock'd the Door upon him About an hour after Arabella unlock'd it thinking every Moment a Month till the House were silent so near did Bellamant apprehend his Happiness which he wou'd not ha' let slip that Night for all hiâ— Estate I fancy But we must yet suppose him Arabella a little while and Philandra Winelove No sooner then had Arabella got into Bed than Winelove was in her Chamber and had lock'd the Door and you may believe did not stand long on the cold Floor Madam said he turning to her this Night were worth Immortality had I not drank too much at Supper but the Morning shall pay us the Arrears of the present How Sir cry'd she and do you too deceive my Expectation Nay then I 'm sure my Husband and you are of the same Family and too nearly related Why ay Madam return'd Winlove this Conscience makes Cowards and Fools Eunuchs Or Women of you interrupted Arabella I 'm resolv'd I will know if y' are a Man pursu'd she embracing her very strictly O Philandra cry'd he speaking in a more Masculine Tone 't is now my turn to play the Man and revenge my self upon you for all my Sufferings that yet were not worth this ravishing killing Moment which sure I can't out-live Then cou'd not he speak one word more for a whole moment or two After he call'd her Philandra the poor Soul was so amaz'd or overjoy'd that she did not or may be cou'd not or wou'd not speak one word till at last he had just liberty to say Now Madam you shall find that neither Night nor Morning shall be indebted to me At which she cried out O Heavens my Lord are you then resolv'd to ruine me And now both were Tongue-tied again About 4 a clock in the morning Philandra with a thousand Kisses and tender Embraces and with Tears in her Eyes said to him Tho' my Lord you have now by my own foolish Intriguing rifled me of the greatest Treasure my Honour and grasp'd all those Joys at once for which you strove so long so often and so fatally You will not leave me thus naked and spoil'd of all that is valuable May not I hope that you will restore what you have taken from me my Honour I now beg it of you as an Act of Humanity and becoming your accustom'd Generosity and Goodness Will you not marry me my Lord Can you doubt it Madam reply'd he by way of Interrogation Let me first be clear of the Death of that brave Man and then my Life we 'll be as Happy as 't is possible She then proceeded to ask his Pardon that she had design'd to betray Arabella to Horatio who wou'd have taken that occasion to part with her still supposing him to be Arabella And added that Horatio wou'd be there at five that Morning or soon after Bellamant smil'd and told her he was more oblig'd to them for their Plot than he was to his Ancestors for his Honour and Estate And after he had taken a fair Leave of her she return'd to Bed in the next Room from the place of Execution without discovering the pretended Horatio's Sex lest he shou'd