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A34743 The country gentleman's vade mecum, or his companion for the town in eighteen letters from a gentleman in London to his friend in the country wherein he passionately disswades him against coming to London, and represents to him the advantages of a country life, in opposition to the follies and vices of the town : he discovers to him most of the humours, tricks and cheats of the town, which as a gentlemen and a stranger he is most exposed to, and gives him some general advice and instructions how he may best in his absence dispose of his affairs in the country, and manage himself with the most security and satisfaction when he comes to London. Gentleman in London.; Sc̲̲̲̲y, Ed. 1699 (1699) Wing C6533; ESTC R2672 63,002 180

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Company and corrupt her The Deluding and Ruining both Men and Women is their whole Business and Occupation nay not only their own but the Business of several Agents and Factors A sort of Mercenary Hell-hounds which they turn out to hunt the Town to try what Game of either sort they can find and if they chance to make their Set upon a Country Gentleman or a Stranger be sure the Dog will never forsake the Haunt till his Mistris if he ha'nt been disturb'd and drawn at before finds some means or other to entangle 'em in her Net And now for the Bawd She 's a sort of Viperous Creature that has all the bad Properties of the former with so many Additions of her own that she 's a Monster both without Paralel and beyond Description She 's the very Dregs both of a Jilt and a Procurer a Wretch that having lost all Grace Modesty or Humanity has su'd out her Indentures in the Devil's Company and bound her self to deal in no other Commodities but those that tend directly to propagate his Interest These sort of Practitioners generally keep Seraglio's of their own with the Superscription of Chocolate or Coffee over their Doors which are constantly guarded with three or four painted Harlots that are always ready either by Surprise or Assault to make you their Prisoner If they can any ways get you into their Case as they call it and rather than fail they 'll impudently hawl you to why then in course you must call for your Half-pint of Rasberry and so one of 'em begins a Beastly Health to let you know what Occupation they follow Before this is drunk in steps the Governess in a mighty Rage that the Gentleman is not shew'd into a better Room Come Sir says she and snatches up the Candle so that you must either go with her or stay with those Vermine in the Dark follow me and I 'll light you up my self When they have got you there then they conclude you 're fixt and so three or four Couple of her Choice Whores are presently let loose to live at Discretion upon you If they can by any Sort of vicious Lewdness entice you into Debauchery the next thing is which of the Ladies you pitch upon and the Terms Mrs. Frances she 's but just come out of the Country and has not been upon Duty these four Months there 's but little Difference between her and a Maidenhead and she can't be afforded for less than ten Shillings beside half a Crown for her self Mrs. Margaret's a good clean Woman and very modest and innocent a pretty harmless Creature three half Crowns is the Price and she never went under Mrs. Betty Mrs. Nancy and sweet Mrs. Sukey are all three sound and active but because Trading's dead and Money 's scarce and you look like a civil Gentleman and because I 'd encouage you to come again you shall have one of 'em for a Crown and that 's the lowest but for Moll and Kare Joan Margery Abigail c. you know the Fare I suppose and though I say 't my self there 's ne'er a Gentlewoman in the whole Trade can shew a better Warehouse of such sort of Goods than I can nor afford a better Pennyworth With this kind of Prate the Old Mistress of Iniquity entertains her Guest whilst a Kennel of hungry Brutes are all the while yelping their fulsom Ribaldry swearing cursing and blaspheming and ravenously swallowing and devouring every thing they lay their Talons upon This is rare Company is it not for a Country Gentleman to run himself into Nay besides all these there 's a strong Party of Rogues and Bullies below if you should not comply with their insolent Demands or scruple to pay their extravagant Reckoning ready upon Occasion to hector and insult you or rather than fail to strip and murder you To have done with 'em I cannot suspect that you should ever give up so much of your Reason to hazard your self into such a Labirinth of mischief as this is No no Sir I 'm confident you never will A Bawdyhouse why 't is the very Gate of Hell an In-let to Disgrace Ruine and Contempt and more to be avoided by far than a Jaques or a Pesthouse and in all Respects as Loathsom as the one and as Contagious as the other I come in the next Place to the Jilt which is a sort of Creature a little more private and designing but in the main as lewd and dissolute and more dangerous than e'er a one of the former These forsooth would be counted Vertuous and Religious Whores Misses they 'll own themselves to be but Whore's a Term a little too Rough to go down with such nice Palates the Name of a Miss relishes better with them well let 'em be Misses then but for all their Missship I passionately Caution you never to come near any of 'em for if you do you 'll find they can Ruin you as soon as the best Procurer or Bawd of 'em all These Vermine play at high Games nothing will serve some of them less than a Settlement of two or three Hundred per Annum a Coach fine Lodgings Plate China and other things suitable for a Whore of Rank and upon these Considerations she 'll be faithful to you or at least she 'll promise you she will but this is only a Promise de facto neither so long as your Estate lasts and you can maintain her in her Extravagance and Grandeur but when that fails so does the Obligation too she has the grand political Reasons ready as well as the best Statesman of 'em all and commonly makes the same Use of it She can Pray Cant shed a few Crocodiles Tears or rather than fail sham a Fit as a token of the Passion and Tenderness she has for you but then your Back 's no sonner turn'd but she tells her Stallion you 're a nasty sickly feeble Fellow and that as soon as she has perswaded you out of the Settlement and the new Furniture she 'll first affront you and then leave you If she finds you are a Cully indeed and will be often impos'd upon by her then she has a thousand little wheedling tricks and Artifices to decoy you Sometimes she 's breeding forsooth and then ●ure you cannot be so barbarous to your own Flesh and Blood but you will take some Care of the young one besides she wants Night-Gowns and Damask for Clouts and a thousand other Necessaries for a Lying-in Woman There 's my Lord A s and Sir John B s and Collonel D s Misses lay in in as much State the other day as the best Lady in the Kingdom nay Mr. F that is but an ordinary Citizen presented his Mistress with a new Bed and the Furniture of a Room that cost him above a hundred and fifty Pound and what has she I wonder done that she should not deserve as much as the best of ' em Why sure she 's as Handsom and
THE COUNTRY GENTLEMAN'S Vade Mecum OR HIS COMPANION for the TOWN In Eighteen LETTERS From a Gentleman in London to his Friend in the COUNTRY Wherein he passionately disswades him against coming to London and Represents to him the Advantages of a Country Life in Opposition to the Follies and Vices of the Town He discovers to him most of the Humours Tricks and Cheats of the Town which as a Gentlemen and a Stranger he is most exposed to And gives him some general Advice and Instructions how he may best in his Absence dispose of his Affairs in the Country and manage himself with the most Security and Satisfaction when he comes to London Foelix qui propriis aevum transegit in arvis Ipsa domus Puerum quem videt ipsa Senem Qui baculo nitens in qua reptavit arena Vnius numerat Soecula longa casae Illum non vario traxit Fortuna tumultu Nec bibit ignotas mobilis hospes aquas CLAUD de senec Veronensi LONDON Printed for John Harris at the Harrow in Little-Britain 1699. TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE THE Lord Beaumont Deputy Lieutenant and Justice of the Peace for the County of Leicester My Lord THE short Experience I had of your Friendship and Candor enclines me now to believe you will not reject this Poor Companion although he boldly attempts to intrude himself upon your Honour's Protection Indeed I am no great Friend to the Common Vanity of Letters Dedicatory and therefore in making my Court to you instead of troubling you with an impertinent Dinn of Compliments I shall only tell you the naked Cause that urg'd me to lay these Papers before you Sir 't is the general Character you bear of a true English Gentleman One that in all Respects both by your Practice and President are duly qualified to vindicate and assert the Rights and Priveleges of a Country Life and that it is that has forc'd upon you the Patronage of these few Letters which if you think worth your Perusal and Owning and truly that at present is the most disturbing Consideration you 'll soon find that the Country Gentleman has not more Need of a City Companion than the City Companion has of a Country Patron Well my Lord he humbly flies to you for Safeguard and who so fit to shelter and defend him as he that not only enjoys the Blessings of a well-order'd Country Life but withal knows but hates and scorns the Follies and Vices of the Town Sir I am affraid considering what a Lewd World this Poor Companion is to make his Progress in if I should turn him out alone some Bully Sharper c. would meet and use him rudely which they dare not so long as he continues under the Shadow of your Protection for once then Sir be pleased to take him into your Care at least foster him for a Night or two till you have examin'd his Credentials and then dispose of him as you shall think fit But Sir while I am thus importuning you for another I forget my self who perhaps may more want an Advocate to excuse the Boldness and Trouble of the Dedication than the Book itself does a Patron and some body to plead for the Errours and Frailties of it There 's nothing that I know but an extraordinary Principle of Generosity can engage you either to forgive the one or accept the other and that at a venture I will depend upon who am My Lord Your Honour 's most obedient Servant Ed. S cy THE EPISTTLE TO THE READER THE giving Advice and Reproof has been always justly reputed one of the most Exalted Acts of Friendship that can pass between Man and Man but then they 're so commonly mis-apply'd or what 's as bad misunderstood that like a shot ill aim'd they either mount too high and fly over or descend too low and drop short and so never comes near the Mark they 're first levell'd at This is the common fate in most Cases but then when they 're Intermixt too with an Ungrateful Representation of Men and Things they are still more difficult So that in such a Case 't is next to an Impossibility to recommend 'em with any tolerable Advantage or Success As for this Poor Vade Mecum 't is so small and trivial in it self that it can hardly justify even its Pretensions to an Epistle but then considering what kind of Persons it is to Encounter 't will be necessary I think to premise a few things to prevent mis-constructions and mistakes The General Design I presume I need not mention the Title has done that before i. e. that it is intended for A Companion for Country Gentlemen and Strangers first to discover and expose and then to Guard and Fortify 'em against the Cheats Vices and Follies of the Town That 's the Design of it indeed and how far 't will Answer that Design must be left intirely to the Judgment of the Reader only with this short Caution that if he pleases he may do the Author this Justice to consider that he 's Writing Letters and then if his Characters and Representations are a little more abrupt and short than they might or perhaps ought to be in other Cases That 's a very good Plea and Excuse for ' em For the Persons and Things that are here Expos'd and Represented I presume that no Gentleman that has liv'd in London any considerable time but will allow 'em to be true in the main and that furnish's me with an Answer to an unkind Reflection which I perceive lies very ready to be past upon me i. e. That a Man must consequently be a very Vicious Person himself that is Qualified to give a general Description of the Cheats and Vices of a Lewd Town But why so I wonder they may as well repute a Man to be a Good Christian because he has gathered up some general Notions and Texts of Scripture which he makes no other use of then to deceive the World or prate over at a Tavern or an Ale-House The Case is the very same and truly I can't conceive why a Person that has Eyes and Ears and a little understanding can't have a Cursory Knowledge of these matters without being any other ways concern'd than as an Observator If some Peoples Intellects are not so good as others who can help it In short this Reflection is so Dull and Ridiculous that 't is below an Answer I 'm confident there 's none but the very Cheats and Jilts and such sort of Rabble will make any use of it and let them e'n take it and make their most on 't Well but that I may not incur My Lords Herbert Censure make my Porch too big for my House Let it be but allow'd that I have made any advances towards the destruction or discovery of Vice and but one tho the shortest step towards the Support and Defence of Vertue which I suppose few will be so hardy or unjust to deny I have gain'd my Grand Point