in a trifle I shou'd make a Complement to those Honorable Gentlemen whose Liberality has prov'd so substantial an Incouragement to me in this Vndertaking but I must change my note to an Apology for the smallness of the Edition and the best I can make is humbly to beg their Pardon I design'd it a handsom Folio with a fair Letter but there was a necessity of publishing this first Part of the Work immediately being inform'd that while it was supervising with all leisurely Care the Booksellers concerned in the old Translation had got it alter'd with all speed and resolv'd at any Rate to have it come out first I hope my generous Patrons will forgive a Delay which was the effect of my good Fortune I mean the Employment for which with all Thankfulness I am proud to own my self oblig'd to the great Mr. Mountague's Recommendation and the Favor of those noble Patriots Sir Robert Cotton and Sir Thomas Frankland This made the Bookseller think of casting this into four little portable Duodecimos and indeed there is this Reason for 't that the Book being more for Diversion than Study is therefore more proper for the Pocket than the Closet I have nothing more to add but the Names of those noble Encouragers of this Translation which I presume to insert in the Order they subscrib'd for my particular Benefit The Right Honorable Charles Mountague Esq The Honorable Colonel Codrington the Right Honorable the Earl of Dorset the Right Honorable Henry Lord Colerane the Honorable Hugh Hare Esq the Honorable Edward Coke Esq Richard Norton Esq Anthony Henly Esq Mr. John Freeman William Bridgman Esq his Grace the Duke of Devonshire the Right Honorable the Lady Vicountess of Weymouth the Honorable Henry Thynne Esq Sir Robert Worsely Bar. the Honorable H. Heveningham and J. Manners Esquires Sir John Smith Bar. the Right Hon. the Earl of Darwentwater the Hon. Charles Boyle Esq Sir Rich. Blackmore Charles Caesar Esq and Sir Godfrey Kneller THE Author's PREFACE TO THE READER YOU may depend on my bare Word Reader without any farther security that I cou'd wish this Offspring of my Brain were as ingenious sprightly and accomplish'd as your self cou'd desire but the mischief on 't is Nature will have its course Every Production must resemble its Author and my barren and unpolish'd Understanding can produce nothing but what is very dull very impertinent and extravagant beyond imagination You may suppose it the Child of Disturbance ingendred in some dismal Prison in the very seat of Wretchedness and amidst all manner of Inconveniences Rest and Ease a convenient Place pleasant Fields and Groves murmuring Springs and a sweet Repose of Mind are helps that raise the Fancy and impregnat even the most barren Muses with Conceptions that fill the World with Admiration and Delight Some Parents are so blinded by a Fatherl Fondness that they mistake the very Imperfections of their Children for so many Beauties and the Folly and Impertinence of the brave Boy must pass upon their Friends and Acquaintance for Wit and Sense But I who am only a Step-Father disavow the Authority of this modern and prevalent Custom nor will I earnestly beseech you with Tears in my Eyes which is many a poor Author's Case dear Reader to pardon or dissemble my Child's Faults For what Favour can I expect from you who are neither his Friend nor Relation You have a Soul of your own and the privilege of Free-will whoever you be as well as the proudest He that struts in a gaudy Outside You are a King by your own Fire-side as much as any Monarch in his Throne You have Liberty and Property which set you above Favor or Affection and may therefore freely like or dislike this History according to your humor I had a great mind to have expos'd it as naked as it was born without the addition of a Preface or the numberless Trumpery of commendatory Sonnets Epigrams and other Poems that usually usher in the Conceptions of Authors For I dare boldly say that tho I bestow'd some time in writing the Book yet it cost me not half so much labour as this very Preface I very often took up my Pen and as often laid it down and cou'd not for my life think of any thing to the purpose Sitting once in a very studious Posture with my Paper before me my Pen in my Ear my Elbow on the Table and my Cheek on my Hand considering how I should begin a certain Friend of mine an ingenious Gentleman and of a merry Disposition came in and surpriz'd me He ask'd me what I was so very intent and thoughtful upon I was so free with him as not to mince the matter but told him plainly that I had been puzling my Brain for a Preface to Don Quixote and that I had made my self so uneasy about it that I was now resolv'd to trouble my head no further either with Preface or Book but rather not to let the Atchievements of that noble Knight be publish'd For continu'd I why should I expose my self to the Lash of the old Legislator the Vulgar They will say that I have spent my youthful Days very finely to have nothing to recommend my Gray Hairs to the World but a dry insipid Legend not worth a rush wanting good Language as well as Invention barren of Conceits or pointed Wit and without either Quotations on the Margin or Annotations at the end which other Books tho never so fabulous and profane have to set 'em off Other Authors can pass upon the Public by stuffing their Books from Aristotle Plato and the whole Company of antient Philosophers thus amusing their Readers into a great opinion of their prodigious Reading Plutarch and Cicero are slur'd on the Publick for as Orthodox Doctors as St. Thomas or any of the Fathers And then the Method of these Moderns is so wounderfully agreeable and full of variety that they cannot fail to please In one Line they will describe you a whining amorous Coxcomb and the next shall be some dry Scrap of a Homily with such ingenious Turns as cannot chuse but ravish the Reader Now I want all these Embelishments and Graces I have neither marginal Notes nor critical Remarks I do not so much as know what Authors I follow and consequently can have no formal Index as 't is the fashion now methodically strung on the Letters of the Alphabet beginning with Aristotle and ending with Xenophon or Zoâ—lus or Zeuxis which two are commonly cram'd into the same Piece tho one of them was a famous Painter and t'other a saucy Critic I shall want also the pompous Preliminaries of commendatory Verses sent to me by the Right Honourable my Lord such a one by the Honourable the Lady such a one or the most ingenious Mr. such a one tho I know that I might have them at an easy rate from two or three Brothers of the Quill of my acquaintance and better I 'm sure than the best Quality
to mov'd by your Father's Lamentation for your Loss discover'd it the good old Gentleman dispatch'd away four of his Men in search of you and here we are all at your Service Sir and the joyfullest Men alive for our old Master will give us a hearty Welcome having so soon restor'd him what he lov'd so much That next to Heav'n is as I please said Don Lewis What would you or Heaven either please Sir but return to your Father Come come Sir talk no more on 't home you must go and home you shall go The Foot-boy that lay with Don Lewis hearing this Dispute rose and related the Business to Don Ferdinand Cardenio and the rest that were now Dress'd adding withal how the Man gave him the Title of Don with other Circumstances of their Conference They being already Charm'd by the sweetness of his Voice were curious to be inform'd more particularly of his Circumstances resolving to assist him in case of any Violence offer'd went presently to the Place where he stood contending with the Servant By this Dorothea had left her Chamber and with her Donna Clara in great Disorder Dorothea beckning Cardenio aside gave him a short Account of the Musician and Donna Clara and he told her how the Servants that purfu'd him were arriv'd Donna Clara over-hearing him suffer'd such Alterations that had not Dorothea run and supported her she had sunk to the Ground Cardenio promising to bring the Matter to a fair and successful End advis'd Dorothea to retire with the indispos'd Lady to her Chamber All the four that pursu'd Don Lewis were now come about him pressing his Return without Delay to comfort his poor Father he answer'd 'T was impossible being engag'd to put a Business in Execution first on which depended no less than his Honour and his present and future Happiness They urg'd that since they had found him there was no returning for them without him and if he would not go he should be carry'd not unless you kill me answer'd the young Gentleman upon which all the Company were join'd in the Dispute Cardenio Don Ferdinand and his Companions the Judge the Curate the Barber and Don Quixote who thought it needless now to Guard the Castle any longer Cardenio who knew the young Gentleman's History ask'd the Fellows upon what Pretence or by what Authority they could carry the Lad away against his Will Sir answer'd one of them we have Reason good for what we do no less than his Father's Life depends upon his Return Gentlemen said Don Lewis 't is not proper perhaps to trouble you with a particular Relation of my Affairs only thus much I am a Gentleman and have no Dependance that should force me to any thing beside my Inclination Nay but Sir answer'd the Servant Reason I hope will force you and though it cannot move you it must govern us who must execute our Orders and force you back we only act as we are order'd Sir Hold said the Judge and let us know the whole state of the Case O Lord Sir answer'd one of the Servants that knew him my Lord Judge does not your Worship know your next Neighbour's Child See here Sir he has run away from his Father's House and has put on these dirty tatter'd Rags to the Scandal of his Family as your Worship may see The Judge then viewing him more attentively knew him and saluting him What Jest is this Don Lewis cry'd he What mighty Intrigue are you carrying on young Sir to occasion this Metamorphosis so unbecoming your Quality The young Gentleman could not answer a Word and the Tears stood in his Eyes the Judge perceiving his Disorder desir'd the four Servants to trouble themselves no farther but leave the Youth to his Management engaging his Word to act to their Satisfaction and retiring with Don Lewis he begg'd to know the Occasion of his Flight During their Conference they heard a great Noise at the Inn-Door occasion'd by two Strangers who having lodg'd there over Night and seeing the whole Family so busy'd in a curious Enquiry into the Four Horsemen's Business thought to have made off without paying their Shot but the Inn-keeper who minded no Man's Business more than his own stopp'd them in the Nick and demanding his Money upbraided their ungenteel Design very sharply They return'd the Compliment with Kick and Cuff so roundly that the poor Host cry'd out for Help his Wife and Daughter saw none so idle as Don Quixote whom the Daughter addressing I conjure you Sir Knight said she by that Virtue deliver'd to you from Heaven to succour my distress'd Father whom two Villains are beating to Jelly Beautiful Damsel answer'd Don Quixote with a slow Tone and profound Gravity your Petition cannot at the present Juncture prevail I being with-held from undertaking any new Adventure by an engaging Promise first to finish another and all the Service you can expect is only my Counsel in this important Affair go with all speed to your Father with Advice to continue and maintain the Battel with his utmost Resolution till I obtain Permission from the Princess Micomicona to reinforce him which once granted you need make no doubt of his Safety Unfortunate Wretch that I am said Maritornes who over-heard him before you can have this Leave my Master will be sent to the other World Then Madam said he procure me the Permission I mention'd and tho' he were sent into the other World I 'll bring him back in spight of Hell and the Devil or at least so revenge his Fall on his Enemies as shall give ample Satisfaction to his surviving Friends whereupon breaking off the Discourse he went and threw himself prostrate before Dorothea imploring her in Romantick Style to grant him a Commission to march and sustain the Governour of that Castle who was just fainting in a dangerous Engagement The Princess dispatch'd him very willingly whereupon presently buckling on his Target and taking up his Sword he ran to the Inn-Door where the two Guests stood handling their Landlord very unmercifully He there made a sudden Stop tho' Maritornes and the Hostess press'd him twice or thrice to tell the Cause of his Delay in his promis'd Assistance to his Host I make a Pause said Don Quixote because I am commanded by the Law of Arms to use my Sword against none under the Order of Knighthood but let my Squire be call'd this Affair is altogether his Province In the mean time Drubs and Bruises were interchangeably given and taken and the poor Host soundly beaten His Wife Daughter and Maid who stood by were like to run mad at Don Quixote's hanging back and the Inn-keeper's unequal Combat where we shall leave him with a Design to return to his Assistance presently tho' his Fool-hardiness deserves a sound beating for attempting a thing he was not likely to compass We now return to what Don Lewis answer'd the Judge whom we left retir'd with him and demanding the Reason of his Travelling
was is or shall be that could not with his single Force Cudgel four hundred such Rogues as you to pieces if they have the Impudence to Oppose him CHAP. XIX The notable Adventure of the Officers of the Holy Brotherhood with Don Quixote's great Ferocity and Inchantment WHilst Don Quixote talk'd at this rate the Curate endeavour'd to perswade the Officers that he was distracted as they might easily gather from his Words and Actions and therefore though they should carry him before a Magistrate he would be presently acquitted as being a Mad-man He that had the Warrant made Answer That 't was not his Business to examine whether he were mad or not he was an Officer in Commission and must obey Orders but if the Superiour Power would acquit him with all his Heart But for all that the Curate persisted assuring them that they should not be suffer'd to carry Don Quixote away this Time and in short said so much and the Knight did so much that they had been greater Fools than he could they not have plainly seen his Madness They therefore not only desisted but offer'd their Service in compounding the Difference between Sancho and the Barber their Mediation was accepted they being Officers of Justice and succeeded so well that both Parties stood to their Arbitration though not entirely satisfied with their Award which order'd them to change their Pannels but not their Halters nor the Girths The Curate made up the Business of the Bason paying the Barber under-hand eight Reals for his Interest and getting a general Release under his Hand of all Claims or Actions concerning it These two important Differences being so happily decided the only Obstacle to a General Peace were Don Lewis's Servants and the Inn-keeper the first were at last prevail'd upon to accept the Proposals offer'd which were that three of them should go home and the fourth attend Don Lewis where Don Ferdinand should appoint Thus this Difference was also made up to the unspeakable Joy of Donna Clara. The Inn-keeper made a hideous Bawling having discover'd that the Barber had receiv'd Money for his Bason he knew no Reason he said why he should not be paid as well as other Folks and swore that Rozinante and Sancho's Ass should pay for their Master's Extravagance before they should leave his Stable The Curate pacify'd him and Don Ferdinand paid him his Bill Zoraida not well understanding how Matters pass'd was interchangeably merry or sad according to the Shew made by the rest but the Motions of her Spaniard on whom her Eyes were always fix'd chiefly influenc'd her Affections All things thus accommodated the Inn no longer resembled the Confusion of Agramant's Camp but appear'd hush'd in the general Calm of Peace upon which the Curate and Don Ferdinand by universal Consent had the Thanks of the House as a just Acknowledgment for their so effectual Mediation Don Quixote being now free from the Difficulties and Delays that lately embarrass'd him held it high time to prosecute his Voyage and bring to some Decision the general Enterprize which he had the Voice and Election for He therefore fully resolv'd to press his Departure and fell on his Knees before Dorothea but she would not hear him in that Posture but prevail'd upon him to rise He then addressing her in his usual Forms Most beautiful Lady said he 't is a known Proverb That Diligence is the Mother of Success and we have found the greatest Successes in War still to depend on Expedition and Dispatch by preventing the Enemy's Design and forcing a Victory before an Assault is expected My Inference from this most high and illustrious Lady is that our Residence in this Castle appears nothing conducive to our Designs but may prove dangerous for we may reasonably suppose that our Enemy the Gyant may learn by Spies or some other secret Intelligence the Scheme of our Intentions and consequntly fortify himself in some inexpugnable Fortress against the Power of our most prevailing Force where the Strength of my invincible Arm may be uneffectual Let us therefore dear Madam by our Diligence and sudden Departure hence prevent any such his Designs and force our good Fortune by missing no Opportunity that we may lay hold of Here he stopt waiting the Princess's Answer She with a grave Aspect and Stile suiting his Extravagance reply'd The great Inclination and indefatigable Desire you shew worthy Knight in redressing the injur'd and restoring the oppress'd lay a fair Claim to the Praises and universal Thanks of Mankind but your singular Concern and industrious Application in assisting me deserve my particular Acknowledgments and Gratification and I shall make it my peculiar Request to Heaven that your generous Designs in my favour may be soon accomplish'd that I may be enabl'd to convince you of the Honour and Gratitude that may be found in some of our Sex As to our Departure I shall depend upon your Pleasure to whose Management I have not only committed the Care of my Person but also resign'd the whole Power of Command Then by the Assistance of the Divine Power answer'd he I will lose no Opportunity of exalting your Highness which you thus condescend to humble to my Orders let our March be sudden for the Eagerness of my Desires the Length of the Journey and the Dangers of Delay are great Spurs to my Dispatch depending therefore on the Vigour of my Courage which neither Danger nor Hell can daunt fly Sancho saddle Rozinante harness your Ass and make ready the Lady's Palfrey let us take leave of the Governour here and these other Lords and set out from hence immediately Poor Sancho hearing all that pass'd shook his Head Lord Lord Master said he there 's always more Tricks in a Town than are talk'd of with Reverence be it spoken Ho! Villain cry'd Don Quixote What Tricks can any Town or City shew to impair my Credit Nay Sir quoth Sancho if you grow Angry I can hold my Tongue if that be all but there are some things which you ought to hear and I should tell as becomes a trusty Squire and honest Servant Say what thou wilt said the Knight so it tend not to Cowardise for if thou art afraid keep it to thy self and trouble not me with the mention of Fear which my Soul abhors Pshaw hang Fear Sir answer'd Sancho that 's not the Matter but I must tell you Sir that which is as certain and plain as the Nose on your Face This same Madam here that calls her self the Queen of the great Kingdom of Micomicon is no more a Queen than my Grandame For do but consider Sir if she were such a fine Queen as you believe can you imagine she wou'd always be kissing and slabbering a certain Person that shall be nameless in this Company Dorothea blush'd at Sancho's Words for Don Ferdinand had indeed sometimes and in private taken the Freedom with his Lips to reap some part of the Reward his Affection deserv'd which Sancho spying
so many Flesh-flies Come now for your Queston good Mr. Steward and I 'll answer it as well as I can whether the Town be sorry or pleas'd At the same instant two Men came into the Court the one dress'd like a Country Fellow the other look'd like a Tailor with a pair of Sheers in his hand An 't please you my Lord cry'd the Taylor I and this Farmer here are come before your Worship This honest Man came to my Shop yesterday for saving your Presence I am a Tailor and Heaven be prais'd free of my Company So my Lord he shew'd me a piece of Cloath Sir quoth he is there enough of this to make me a Cap Whereupon I measur'd the Stuff and answer'd him yes an 't like your Worship Now as I imagine d' ye see he could not but imagine and perhaps he imagin'd right enough that I had a mind to cabbage some of his Cloath judging hard of us honest Tailors Prithee quoth he look whether there been't enough for two Caps Now I smelt him out and told him there was Whereupon the Old Knave an 't like your Worship going on to the same Tune bid me look again and see whether it would not make three And at last if it would not make five I was resolv'd to humour my Customer and said it might So we struck a Bargain just now the Man is come for his Caps which I gave him but when I ask him for my Money he 'll have me give him his Cloath again or pay him for 't Is this true honest Man said Sancho to the Farmer Yes an 't please you answer'd the Fellow but pray let him shew the five Caps he has made me With all my Heart cry'd the Tailor and with that pulling his hand from under his Cloak he held up five little tiny Caps hanging upon his four Fingers and Thumb as upon so many Pins There quoth he you see the five Caps this good Gaffer asks for and may I never whip a stitch more if I have wrong'd him of the least snip of his Cloath and let any Work-man be Judge The sight of the Caps and the oddness of the Cause set the whole Court a laughing Only Sancho sat gravely considering a while and then Methinks said he this Suit here need not be long depending but may be decided without any more ado with a great deal of Equity and therefore the Judgment of the Court is That the Tailor shall lose his Making and the Country-Man his Cloath and that the Caps be given to the poor Prisoners and so let there be an end of the Business If this Sentence provok't the Laughter of the whole Court the next no less rais'd their Admiration For after the Governour 's Order was executed two old Men appear'd before him one of 'em with a large Cane in his Hand which he us'd as a Staff My Lord said the other who had none some time ago I lent this Man ten Gold-Crowns to do him a kindness which Money he was to repay me on Demand I did not ask him for it again in a good While lest it should prove a greater Inconveniency to him to repay me than he labour'd under when he borrow'd it However perceiving that he took no care to pay me I have ask'd him for my Due nay I have been forc'd to dun him hard for it But still he did not only refuse to pay me again but deny'd he ow'd me any Thing and said that if I lent him so much Money he certainly return'd it Now because I have no Witnesses of the Loan nor he of the pretended Payment I beseech your Lordship to put him to his Oath and if he will swear he has paid me I 'll freely forgive him before God and the World What say you to this old Gentleman with the Staff ask'd Sancho Sir answer'd the old Man I own he lent me the Gold and since he requires my Oath I beg you 'll be pleas'd to hold down your Rod of Justice that I may swear upon 't how I have honestly and truly return'd him his Money Thereupon the Governour held down his Rod and in the mean time the Defendant gave his Cane to the Plaintiff to hold as if it hinder'd him while he was to make a Cross and swear over the Judge's Rod This done he declar'd That 't was true the other had lent him the ten Crowns but that he had really return'd him the same Sum into his own Hands and that because he suppos'd the Plaintiff had forgot it he was continually asking him for it The great Governour hearing this ask'd the Creditor what he had to reply He made Answer that since his Adversary had sworn it he was satisfy'd for he believ'd him to be a better Christian than to offer to foreswear himself and that perhaps he had forgot he had been repaid Then the Defendant took his Cane again and having made a low Obeisance to the Judge was immediately leaving the Court. Which when Sancho perceiv'd reflectiong on the Passage of the Cane and admiring the Creditor's Patience after he had study'd a while with his Head leaning over his Stomach and his Fore-finger on his Nose on a sudden he order'd the old Man with the Staff to be call'd back When he was return'd honest Man said Sancho let me see that Cane a little I have a Use for 't With all my Heart answer'd the other Sir here it is and with that he gave it him Sancho took it and giving it the other old Man There said he go your ways and Heaven be with you for now you 're paid How so my Lord cry'd the old Man Do you judge this Cane to be worth ten Gold-Crowns Certainly said the Governour or else I am the greatest Dunce in the World And now ye shall see whether I have not a Head-piece fit to govern a whole Kingdom upon a shift This said he order'd the Cane to be broken in open Court which was no sooner done but out dropp'd the ten Crowns All the Spectators were amaz'd and began to look on their Governour as a second Solomon They ask'd him how he could conjecture that the ten Crowns were in the Cane He told 'em that having observ'd how the Defendant gave it to the Plaintiff to hold while he took his Oath and then swore he had truly return'd him the Money in his own Hands after which he took his Cane again from the Plaintiff this consider'd it came into his Head that the Money was lodg'd within the Reed From whence may be learn'd that though sometimes those that govern are destitute of Sense yet it often pleases God to direct 'em in their Judgments Besides he had heard the Curate of his Parish tell of such another Business and he had so special a Memory that were it not that he was so unlucky as to forget all he had a mind to remember there could not have been a better in the whole Island At last the
Lady made the best of his Way to Sancho's Village When he came near the Place he saw a Company of Females washing at a Brook and ask'd 'em whether they cou'd inform him if there liv'd not in that Town a Woman whose Name was Teresa Pansa Wife to one Sancho Pansa Squire to a Knight call'd Don Quixote de la Mancha He had no sooner ask'd the Question but a young Wench that was washing among the rest stood up That Teresa Pansa is my Mother quoth she That Gaffer Sancho is my nown Father and that same Knight our Master Well then Damsel said the Page pray go along with me and bring me to your Mother for I have a Letter and a Token here for her from your Father That I will with all my Heart Sir said the Girl who seem'd to be about fourteen Years of Age little more or less and with that leaving the Cloaths she was Washing to one of her Companions without staying to dress her Head or put on her Shooes away she sprung before the Page's Horse bare-legg'd and with her Hair about her Ears Come along an 't please you quoth she our House is hard by 't is but just as you come into the Town and my Mothers at Home but brim full of Sorrow poor Soul for she has not heard from my Father I don't know how long Well said the Page I bring those Tydings that will cheer her Heart I warrant her At last what with Leaping Running and Jumping the Girl being come to the House Mother Mother cry'd she as loud as she cou'd before she went in come out Mother come out here 's a Gentleman has brought Letters and Tokens from my Father At that Summons out came the Mother spinning a Lock of course Flax with a Russet Petticoat about her so short that it look'd as if it had been cut off at the Placket a Wastecoat of the same and her Smock hanging loose about it Take her otherwise she was none of the oldest but look'd somewhat turn'd of Forty strong built sinewy hale vigorous and in good Case What 's the Matter Girl quoth she seeing her Daughter with the Page What Gentleman is that A Servant of your Ladyship 's my Lady Teresa Pansa answer'd the Page and at the same Time alighting and throwing himself at her Feet with the most humble Submission My Noble Lady Donna Teresa said he permit me the Honour to Kiss your Ladyship's Hand as you are the only legitimate Wife of my Lord Don Sancho Pansa proper Governour of the Island of Barataria Alack a day good Sir quoth Teresa what d' you do By no Means I am none of your Court-Dames but a poor silly Country Body a Plough-man's Daughter the Wife indeed of a Squire-Errant but no Governour Your Ladyship reply'd the Page is the most worthy Wife of a thrice-worthy Governour and for Proof of what I say be pleas'd to receive this Letter and this Present with that he took out of his Pocket a String of Coral Beads set in Gold and putting it about her Neck This Letter said he is from his Honour the Governour and another that I have for you together with these Beads from her Grace the Lady Dutchess that sent me to your Ladyship Teresa stood amaz'd and her Daughter was transported Now I 'll be hang'd quoth the young Baggage if our Master Don Quixote be not at the Bottom of this Ay this is his doing He has given my Father that same Government or Earldom he has promis'd him so many Times You say right answer'd the Page 'T is for the Lord Don Quixote's sake that the Lord Sancho is now Governour of the Island of Barataria as the Letter will inform you Good Sir quoth Teresa read it me an 't like your Worship for tho' I can spin I can't read a Jot Nor I neither e'fackins cry'd Sanchica But do but stay a little and I 'll go fetch one that shall either the Batchelour Samson Carrasco or our Parson himself who 'll come with all their Hearts to hear News of my Father You may spare your self the Trouble said the Page for though I cannot spin yet I can read and I 'll read it to ye With that he read the Letter which is now omitted because it has been inserted before That done he pull'd out another from the Dutchess which runs as follows Friend Teresa YOur Husband Sancho's good Parts his Wit and Honesty oblig'd me to desire the Duke my Husband to bestow on him the Government of one of his Islands I am inform'd he is as sharp as a Hawk in his Office for which I am very glad as well as my Lord Duke and return Heaven many Thanks that I have not been deceiv'd in making Choice of him for that Preferment For you must know Signiora Teresa 't is a difficult Thing to meet with a good Governour in this World and may Heaven make me as good as Sancho proves in his Government I have sent you my Dear Friend a string of Coral Beads set in Gold I could wish they were Oriental Pearls for your Sake but a small Token may not hinder a great one The time will come when we shall be better acquainted and when we have convers'd together who knows what may come to pass Commend me to your Daughter Sanchica and bid her from me to be in a Readiness for I design to marry her greatly when she least thinks of it I understand you have fine large Acorns in your Town pray send me a Dozen or two of 'em I shall set a greater Value upon 'em as coming from your Hands And pray let me have a good long Letter to let me know how you do and if you have Occasion for any Thing 't is but ask and have I shall even know your Meaning by your Gaping So Heaven preserve you From this Castle Your Loving Friend The Dutchess Bless me quoth Teresa when she had heard the Letter what a good Lady 's this Not a Bit of Pride in her Heaven grant me to be buried with such Ladies and not with such proud Madams as we have in our Town who because they are Gentlefolks forsooth think the Wind must not blow upon 'em but come flaunting to Church as stately as if they were Queens It seems they think it Scorn to look on a poor Country Woman But look you here 's a good Lady who tho' she be Dutchess calls me her Friend and uses me as if I were as high as her self Well may I see her as high as the highest Steeple in the whole Country As for the Acorns she writes for Master o' mine I 'll send her good Ladyship a whole Peck and such swinging Acorns that every Body shall come to admire 'em far and near And now Sanchica see that the Gentleman be made welcome and want for nothing Take Care of his Horse Run to the Stable get some Eggs cut some Bacon he shall fare like a Prince The rare News he has
Father who 's also the Father of Proverbs when a Cow's given thee run and take her with a Halter When they give thee a Government take it when an Earldom catch it and when they Whistle to thee with a good Gift snap at it That which is good to give is good to take Girl 'T were a petty Fancy trow to lie snoring a Bed and when Good-Luck knocks not to rise to open the Door Ay quoth Sanchica what is' t to me tho' they shou'd say all they 've a Mind to say When they see me so tearing fine and so woundy great let 'em spit their Venom and say set a Beggar a Horse-back and so forth Who wou'd not think said the Curate hearing this but that the whole Race of the Pansa's came into the World with their Paunches stuff'd with Proverbs I never knew one of the Name but threw 'em out at all Times let the Discourse be what it wou'd I think so too said the Page for his Honour the Governour blunders 'em out at every Turn many Times indeed wide from the Purpose however always to the Satisfaction of the Company and with high Applause from my Lord and my Lady Then Sir you assure us still said Carrasco that Sancho is really a Governour and that a Dutchess sends these Presents and Letters upon his Account for tho' we see the Things and read the Letters we can scarce prevail with our selves to believe but are apt to run into our Friend Don Quixote's Opinion and look on all this as the Effect of some Inchantment So that I cou'd find in my Heart to feel and try whether you are a visionary Messenger or a Creature of Flesh and Blood For my Part Gentlemen answer'd the Page all I can tell ye is that I am really the Messenger I appear to be that the Lord Sancho Pansa is actually a Governour and that the Duke and the Dutchess to whom I belong are able to give and have given him that Government where I am credibly inform'd he behaves himself most worthily Now if there be any Inchantment in the Matter I leave you to examine that for by the Life of my Parents one of the greatest Oaths I can utter for they are both alive and I love 'em dearly I know no more of the Business That may be said the Batchelor but yet dubitat Augustinus You may doubt if you please reply'd the Page but I have told you the Truth which will always prevail over Falshood and rise uppermost as Oil does above Water But if you will operibus credere non verbis let one of ye go along with me and you shall see with your Eyes what you will not believe by the Help of your Ears I 'll go with all my Heart quoth Sanchica take me up behind ye Sir I 've a huge Mind to see my Father The Daughters of Governours said the Page must not travel thus unattended but in Coaches or Litters and with a handsome Train of Servants Cud's my Life quoth Sanchica I can go a Journey as well on an Ass as in one of your Coaches I am none of your tender squeamish Things not I. Peace Chicken quoth the Mother thou dost not know what thou say'st the Gentleman is in the right Times are alter'd When 't was plain Sancho 't was plain Sanchica but now he 's a Governour thou' rt a Lady I can't well tell whether I am right or no. My Lady Teresa says more than she is aware of said the Page But now continu'd he give me a Mouthful to eat as soon as you will for I must go back this Afternoon Be pleas'd then Sir said the Curate to go with me and partake of a slender Meal at my House for my Neighbour Teresa is more willing than able to entertain so good a Guest The Page excus'd himself a While but at last comply'd being perswaded 't wou'd be much for the better and the Curate on his Side was glad of his Company to have an Opportunity to inform himself at large about Don Quixote and his Proceedings The Batchelor proffer'd Teresa to write her Answers to her Letters but as she look'd upon him to be somewhat waggish she wou'd not permit him to be of her Counsel so she gave a Rowl and a couple of Eggs to a Young Acolite of the Church who cou'd write and he wrote two Letters for her one to her Husband and the other to the Dutchess all of her own Indicting and perhaps not the worst in this famous History as hereafter may be seen CHAP. LI. A Continuation of Sancho Pansa's Government with other Passages such as they are THE Morning of that Day arose which succeeded the Governour 's rounding Night the Remainder of which the Gentleman-waiter spent not in Sleep but in the pleasing Thoughts of the lovely Face and charming Graces of the disguis'd Virgin on the other Side the Steward bestow'd that Time in Writing to his Lord and Lady what Sancho did and said wondring no less at his Actions than at his Expressions both which display'd a strange Intermixture of Discretion and Simplicity At last the Lord Governour was pleas'd to rise and by Dr. Pedro Rezio's Order they brought him for his Breakfast a little Conserve and a Draught of Fair Water which he wou'd have exchang'd with all his Heart for a good Luncheon of Bread and a Bunch of Grapes But seeing he cou'd not help himself he was forc'd to make the best of a bad Market and seem to be content tho' full sore against his Will and Appetite for the Doctor made him believe that to eat but little and that which was dainty enliven'd the Spirits and sharpen'd the Wit and consequently such a Sort of Diet was most proper for Persons in Authority and weighty Employments wherein there is less Need of the Strength of the Body than of that of the Mind This Sophistry serv'd to famish Sancho who half dead with Hunger curs'd in his Heart both the Government and him that had given it him However hungry as he was by the Strength of his slender Breakfast he fail'd not to give Audience that Day and the first that came before him was a Stranger who put the following Case to him the Steward and the rest of the Attendants being present My Lord said he a large River divides in two Parts one and the same Lordship I beg your Honour to lend me your Attention for 't is a Case of great Importance and some Difficulty Upon this River there is a Bridge at one End of which there stands a Gallows and a Kind of a Court of Justice where Four Judges use to sit for the Execution of a certain Law made by the Lord of the Land and River which runs thus Whoever intends to pass from one End of this Bridge to the other must first upon his Oath declare whither he goes and what his Business is If he swear Truth he may go on but if he swear false he shall
much to run with him a hundred Paces with equal Weight Now he that gave the Challenge being ask'd how they shou'd make equal Weight demands that the other who weighs but five Quarters of a Hundred shou'd carry a hundred and a half of Iron and so the Weight he says will be equal Hold Sir cry'd Sancho before Don Quixote cou'd answer this Business belongs to me that come so lately from being a Governour and a Judge as all the World knows I ought to give Judgment in this doubtful Case Do then with all my Heart Friend Sancho said Don Quixote for I am not sit to give Crumbs to a Cat my Brain is so disturb'd and out of order Sancho having thus got leave and all the Country-men standing about him gaping to hear him give Sentence Brothers quoth he I must tell you that the fat Man is in the wrong Box there 's no manner of Reason in what he asks for if as I always heard say he that is challeng'd may choose his Weapons there 's no Reason that he should choose such as may encumber him and hinder him from getting the better of him that defy'd him Therefore 't is my Judgment that he who gave the Challenge and is so big and so fat shall cut pare slice or shave off a hundred and sifty Pounds of his Flesh here and there as he thinks fit and then being reduc'd to the Weight of the t'other both Parties may run their Race upon equal Terms By fore George quoth one of the Country-People that had heard the Sentence this Gentleman has spoken like one of the Saints in Heaven he has given Judgment like a Casuist but I warrant the Fat Squob loves his Flesh too well to part with the least Sliver of it much less will he part with a Hundred and half Why then quoth another Fellow the best Way will be not to let 'em run at all for then Lean need not venture to sprain his Back by running with such a Load and Fat need not cut out his pamper'd sides into Collops So let half the Wager be spent in Wine and le ts take these Gentlemen to the Tavern that has the best and lay the Cloak upon me when it rains I return ye Thanks Gentlmen said Don Quixote but cannot stay a Moment for dismal Thoughts and Disasters force me to appear unmannerly and to travel at an uncommon Rate and so saying he clapp'd Spurs to Rosinante and mov'd forwards leaving the People to descant on his strange Figure and the rare Parts of his Groom for such they took Sancho to be If the Man be so wise quoth another of the Country-Fellows to the rest bless us What shall we think of the Master ' Ill hold a Wager if they be going to study at Salamanca they will come to be Lord Chief-Justices in a trice for there 's nothing more easie 't is but Studying and Studying again and having a little Favour and good Luck and when a Man least Dreams of it see he shall find himself with a Judge's Gown upon his Back or a Bishop's Mitre upon his Head That Night the Master and the Man took up their Lodging in the Middle of a Field under the Roof of the open Sky and the next Day as they were on their Journey they saw coming towards 'em a Man a-foot with a Wallet about his Neck and a Javelin or Dart in his Hand just like a Foot-Post This Man mended his Pace when he came near Don Quixote and almost running came with a great deal of Joy in his Looks and embrac'd Don Quixote's right Thigh for he cou'd reach no higher My Lord Don Quixote de la Mancha cry'd he oh how heartily glad my Lord Duke will be when he understands you are coming again to his Castle for there he is still with my Lady Dutchess I don't know you Friend answer'd Don Quixote nor can I imagine who you shou'd be unless you tell me your self My Name is Tosilos an 't please your Honour I am my Lord Duke's Footman the same who wou'd not fight with you about Donna Rodriguez's Daughter Bless me cry'd Don Quixote is it possible you should be the Man whom those Enemies of mine the Magicians transform'd into a Lacquey to deprive me of the Honour of that Combat Softly good Sir reply'd the Footman there was neither Inchantment nor Transformation in the Case I was as much a Footman when I enter'd the Lists as when I went out and it was because I had a Mind to marry the young Gentlewoman that I refus'd to fight But I was sadly disappointed for when you were gone my Lord Duke had me soundly bang'd for not doing as he order'd me in that Matter and the Upshot was this Donna Rodriguez is pack'd away to seek her Fortune and the Daughter is shut up in a Nunnery As for me I am going to Barcelona with a Packet of Letters from my Lord to the Viceroy However Sir if you please to take a Sup I have a Gourd full of good Wine at your Service 'T is a little hot I must own but 't is pure and I have some excellent Cheese that will make it go down I 'll warrant ye I take you at your Word quoth Sancho I am no proud Man leave Ceremonies to the Church and so drink honest Tosilos in spight of all the Inchanters in the Indies Well Sancho said Don Quixote thou art certainly the veryest Glutton that ever was and the silliest Blockhead in the World else thou would'st consider that this Man thou seest here is inchanted and a sham-Lacquey E'en stay with him if thou woud'st and gratify thy voracious Appetite for my Part I 'll ride softly on before Tosilos smil'd and laying his Bottle and his Cheese upon the Grass he and Sancho sate down there and like sociable Mess-Mates never stirr'd till they had quite clear'd the Wallet of all that was in it sit for the Belly and this with such an Appetite that when all was consum'd they lick'd the very Packet of Letters because it smelt of Cheese While they were thus employ'd hang me quoth Tosilos if I know what to make of thy Master sure the Man's mad Neither better nor worse answer'd Sancho for take my Word for 't Old Boy if Madness were to pass for current Coin he has such a Stock of it he wou'd be the richest Man in the Kingdom I see it plain enough and tell him of it often enough but what does it signify Especially now that he 's all in the Dumps for having been worsted by the Knight of the White Moon Tosilos begg'd of Sancho to tell him that Story but Sancho said it would not be handsome to let his Master stay for him but that next time they met he 'd tell him the whole Matter With that they got up and after the Squire had brush'd his Cloaths and shaken off the Crumbs from his Beard he drove Dapple along and crying good by t' ye left Tosilos
of their Arrival The News having also reach'd Teresa Pança Sancho's Wife she came running half naked with her Hair about her Ears to see him Hand in Hand all the Way with her Daughter Sanchica who hardly wanted to be lugg'd along But when she found that her Husband look'd a little short of the State of a Governour Mercy o' me quoth she what 's the Meaning of this Husband You look as tho' you had come all the Way on Foot nay and tir'd off your Legs too Why you come liker a Shark than like a Governour Mum Teresa quoth Sancho 't is not all Gold that glisters and every Man was not born with a silver Spoon in his Mouth First let 's go home and then I 'll tell thee Wonders I 've taken Care of the main Chance Money I have old Girl and I came honestly by it without wronging any Body Hast got Money old Boy nay then 't is well enough no Matter which Way let it come by Hook or by Crook 't is but what your Betters have done afore you At the same Time Sanchica hugging her Father ask'd him what he had brought her home for she had gap'd for him as the Flowers do for the Dew in May. Thus Sancho leading Dapple by the Halter on one Side his Wife taking him under the Arm on the other and his Daughter fastning upon the Waste-band of his Breeches away they went together to his Cottage leaving Don Quixote at his own House under the Care of his Niece and House-keeper with the Curate and Batchelor to keep him Company That very Moment Don Quixote took the two last aside and without mincing the Matter gave 'em a short Account of his Defeat and the Obligation he lay under of being confin'd to his Village for a Year which like a true Knight-Errant he had resolv'd punctually to observe He added that he intended to pass that Interval of Time in the innocent Functions of a Pastoral Life and therefore he would immediately commence Shepherd and entertain his amorous Passion solitarily in Fields and Woods and begg'd if Business of greater Importance were not an Obstruction that they wou'd both please to be his Companions assuring them he would furnish them with such a Number of Sheep as might entitle them to such a Profession He also told 'em that he had already in a Manner fitted them for the Undertaking for he had provided them all with Names the most pastoral in the World The Curate being desirous to know the Names Don Quixote told him he wou'd himself be call'd the Shepherd Quixot is that the Batchelor shou'd be call'd the Shepherd Carrascon the Curate Pastor Curiambro and Sancho Pança Pansino the Shepherd They were struck with Amazement at this new Strain of Folly but considering this might be a Means of keeping him at home and hoping at the same Time that within the Year he might be cur'd of his mad Knight-Errantry they allow'd of his Pastoral Folly and with great Applause to his Project freely offer'd their Company in the Design We shall live the most pleasant Life imaginable said Sampson Carrasco for as every Body knows I am a most celebrated Poet and I 'll write Pastorals in abundance Sometimes too I may raise my Strain as Occasion offers to divert us as we range the Groves and Plains But one Thing Gentlemen we must not forget 't is absolutely necessary that each of us choose a Name for the Shepherdess to be celebrated in his Lays nor must we forget the Ceremony us'd by the amorous Shepherds of writing carving notching or engraving on every Tree the Names of Shepherdesses tho' the Bark be ever so hard You are very much in the Right reply'd Don Quixote tho' for my Part I need not be at the Trouble of devising a Name for an imaginary Shepherdess being already captivated by the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso the Nymph of these Streams the Ornament of these Meads the Primrose of Beauty the Cream of Gracefulness and in short the Subject that can merit all the Praises that hyperbolical Eloquence can bestow We grant all this said the Curate but we who can't pretend to such Perfections must make it our Business to find out some Shepherdesses of a lower Form that will be good-natur'd and meet a Man Half-way upon Occasion We shall find enough I 'll warrant you reply'd Carrasco 'T is but giving them Names out of some Book or other if we can find no other there are Phillis Amarillis Diana Florinda Galatea Belisarda and a thousand more are to be dispos'd of publickly in the open Market and when we have purchas'd 'em they are our own Besides if my Mistress my Shepherdess I should have said be call'd Ann I will name her in my Verses Anarda if Frances I 'll call her Francenia and if Lucy be her Name then Lucinda shall be my Shepherdess and so forth and if Sancho Pança makes one of our Fraternity he may celebrate his Wife Teresa by the Name of Teresaina Don Quixote could not forbear smiling at the Turn given to that Name The Curate again applauded his laudable Resolution and repeated his Offer of bearing him Company all the Time that his other Employment wou'd allow him and then they took their Leaves giving him all the good Advice that they thought conducing to his Health and Welfare No sooner were the Curate and Batchelor gone but the old House-Maid and Niece who according to Custom had been listening to all their Discourse came both upon Don Quixote Bless me Uncle cry'd the Niece what 's here to do What new Maggot's got into your Head When we thought you were come to stay at home and live like a sober honest Gentleman in your own House are you hearkning after new Inventions and running a Wooll-gathering after Sheep forsooth By my truly Sir you 're somewhat of the latest The Corn is too old to make Oaten Pipes of Lord Sir quoth the House-keeper how will your Worship be able to endure the Summer's Sun and the Winter's Frost in the open Fields And then the Howling of the Wolves Heaven bless us pray good Sir don't think on 't 'T is a Business fit for no Body but those that are bred and born to it and as strong as Horses Let the Worst come to the Worst better be a Knight-Errant still than a Keeper of Sheep Troth Master take my Advice I am neither drunk nor mad but fresh and fasting from every Thing but Sin and I have fifty Years over my Head be rul'd by me Stay at nome look after your Concerns go often to Confession do Good to the Poor and if ought goes ill with you let it lie at my Door Good Girls said Don Quixote hold your Prating I know best what I have to do Only help to get me to Bed for I find my self somewhat out of Order However don't trouble your Heads whether I be a Knight-Errant or an Errant-Shepherd you shall always find that I will provide for