Exile for the Friendship of Relations at Norwell and Southwell I am there begging pardon for sinful Compliances as in sitting late in an Ale-house in Southwell where the Company were Healthing it about though blessed be the Lord I drank not much yet I was a bad Example in sitting and sipping with the Wicked in wasting my precious Time my Prayer therefore is that the Lord would pardon that and continue Mercies and give me a thankful Heart in and a lively sense of Divine Goodness The 20th being the Sabbath-day through Mercy I find my self in a pretty good Frame of Spirit and took particular notice in my Diary of Mr. Coats's Subject which was Come unto me all ye that labour c. I there find a Desire that the Lord would work those Truths more and more upon my Heart by his Spirit that my Sins may be pardoned and my Soul prosper The 21st Under some Dulness occasioned by slavish fear of Man which I find bewail'd that Day with this Petition That the Lord would enable me to live by Faith and that I might encourage my self in the Lord my God under all outward Discouragements whatsoever who has delivered me does deliver and I trust will deliver me his poor Creature O! that my Sins may not provoke the Lord to turn away his Face The 23d Having this Day been stating Accounts with my Wife and several others with reference to Disbursements the three Months in the Summer of my Exile and Troubles in the Year 85 though I find them extraordinary large yet thrô Grace I find my self free from those Passions that upon such Accounts I used to be prone to my experience again there recorded of God's gracious Appearances for me 26th Mercy there again taken notice of in the Lord 's delivering me from Trouble and a Petition That if it were the Lord's Will I might be preserved from entering into Bonds which I and all my Friends did believe would be very ensâ—â—ring to me there I find Sin bewailed and lay heavy upon my Conscience 27th Manifestations made of Deliverance still from danger I there bless God I am still at liberty and hear nothing from the D. of N. of entering into those Bonds he required I then heard of Dr. Temple's Execution and took notice of distinguishing Mercy that he should be taken and I left who through Man's Rage and Wrath was in danger I there bless God I was not the Man 27th I took notice of the many comfortable Sabbaths that I have enjoyed since I came home without Fear or Disturbance Cousin Billingsley preached here from these Words Commune with your own Hearts which much affected me 28th A like Account as to Mercy and I remember no actual Sin that Day 29th The like Account with my Experience that God had blessed the means I had used for the cure of a Cold that held me 8th of October 1685 This day I returned from Lincoln where I had been some time and took notice the Lord gave me a very comfortable Journey no sad Providence occurred in the Journey I am yet delivered from Enemies notwithstanding their Rage and Threatning and from the ensnaring Bonds I begg'd then of the Lord That he would continue this Mercy and give me to live a thankful holy humble and fruitful Life and pardon the particular Sins of this Day and help me against it and to perform Promises made under my Afflictions 9th I there bless God for the Mercies of that Day and beg pardon for my Sins and that the Lord will cause me to live better the next Day 10th My Sins stare me in the Face being many and great there I find my self begging that I might eye the Blood of Christ and might through Grace be interested in it being the only Sovereign Remedy for a poor Sinner yet I am preserved from ensharing Bonds and enjoy through Mercy comfortable Liberty and sit under my own Vine with delight 11th This I find a comfortable Sabbath when Mr. Coats did most sweetly call invite and encourage Sinners to come to Christ O! that I may not stand out the Lord bless the Sermon to my poor Soul and pardon my Sins 12th No actual Sin that I know of I this Day begg'd Direction from Heaven about the Oath of Allegiance I and others in my Family were called to take and next day I did take it having observed no Intimations from the Lord against it but being well satisfied about it besides I feared if I refused it would be worse with us upon the account of our Meetings which I did desire to keep up I beg the Lord would enable me to keep the Oath being taken as a sacred Thing I am yet at liberty and free from ensnaring Bonds 15th I that Day begg'd the Lord would humble me under any thing of Sin that might be in my Swearing and taking the Oath the Day before 16th This Day Mr. H. acquainted me that one did say That the Lord would lie heavy upon me that I was to give a Security by Bond of 7000 l. which would ask a great time for me to get and that I was only Capt. L's Prisoner at large Well I find this hint in my Diary that Day That I can trust my God who has delivered me and that he will deliver me still from the Fury and Rage of Men and the Effects thereof 17th This Day I had an encouraging Letter from V. L. as if the Duke had done with me which I begg'd then the Lord would grant and enable me to live up to so great a Mercy For several other days after I am blessing God for the comfortable and quiet abode in my House and petition'd that the Lord would keep me from sinning away such Mercies 20th Wasting Time the great Sin acknowledged this Day and a Petition that the Lord would please to make me more active and diligent in Soul-concerns every Day as being every Day nearer Death 22d This Day I observe from Joh. 7. 44. in my reading this Passage Some of them would have taken him but no Man laid Hands on him Upon which Mr. Baxter has this Note God binders bad Men from doing what they would do and they know not how he doth it I have had great Experience of this my self the Lord be praised 25th This Day God made a very comfortable Sabbath to me and I trust will do my Soul good by it and set home another Sermon I then heard from Mr. Cotes concerning the Ease of Christ's Yoke I am yet through Mercy continued in my Family in Peace and Safety enjoy distinguishing Mercy and Love God help me to make a right use of it and still restrain Men that they do not hurt me and enable me to give thee the Glory of that Mercy thou pleasest to give me the Comfort of 26th This Day I was at Cos R's Funeral the Lord prepare me for my Change I came from thence over a dangerous way in Safety 27th God has this Day preserved
me I am out of Hell I am out of a Prison I am not as lately flying before pursuing Enemies nor absenting my self for Security from my own House I am not made a Prey to Enemies but the Lord has dealt bountifully with me What shall I render unto the Lord Some following Days after I took notice of sinful Thoughts idle Words unbecoming Actions and of the Lord's Goodness in sparing Mercy Nov. 7. 1685. I bless God then for returning me in Safety from my Yorkshire Journey and that I saw my Friends with Comfort and found all well at my return home then I petitioned the Lord to continue Enjoyments to me and mine 8th This God made a comfortable Sabbath Mr. Coats preached excellently from this Text Remember now thy Creator c. the Lord do me and all that heard him good by his blessing upon that Ordinance and pardon Sin the Morning as soon as I awakened I was full of projecting carnal melancholy Thoughts O sad Thoughts for a Sabbath-Day God seal a Pardon to me 10th This Evening being Tuesday by 7 of the Clock I set apart some Hours for Humiliation that Night with the help of Mr. B. Mr. C. c. and about half an hour after 12 a Clock I ended in that Work in my Closet the Sins I bewailed particularly was my not keeping Covenant and Promise with my God Passion with my Wife Pride Slightness in Duties especially Closet-Duties c. 15th I enjoy'd a most comfortable Sabbath by Mr. Coats's Help who preach'd from these words Remember now thy Creator c. and this Passage I took particular notice of That where Youth has been devoted to God reviews of it in old Age when Persons are less capacitated for Duty-Frames will afford sweet Comfort and Refreshing 22d This a comfortable Sabbath God bless it to me Mr. Cl. preach'd from these words Ps 67. That God even our own God shall bless us The Doct. was It 's a most desirable thing for People to have a God of their own These Marks he laid down which I desire often to peruse and examine my self by by which I may know whether God be my God or no. 1. If I have a God of my own I get what Knowledg I can of my God 2. I get what Love I can to my God 3. I would be loth to do that which this my God may take ill 4. I would then serve no God but my own God and never fall down to Graven-Images 5. I would take nothing ill from my own God 6. I would love to think of him 7. I would love to be speaking of him 8. I could love to have my own God well spoken of 9. I would often send to him and hear from him 10. I desire nothing more than while i 'm absent from him that this God would visit me by his Spirit 11. I would not live always here but die to go to this my own God and to be with him for ever And these are the earnest Requests of my Soul Several Days together I find a comfortable Account both as to freedom from Sins and great Mercies But on the 28th I find Relapses into Sin and that which aggravates it much is I was just writing the Account of my Life And O what a Mercy it is God has given me not only space for but the Grace of Repentence Decemb. 12. Hitherto much the like Account the Lord has preserved my Liberty beyond expectation and prevented my entring into ensnaring Bonds 14th I took notice of Mercy shew'd my Wife in delivering her from most acute Pains in the Tooth-Acâ— Jan. 2. â—â—8â— I this Day returned from a great Journey in which the Lord wonderfully succeded me in all my Affairs and preserv'd me from all Dangeâ—… I experienc'd Mercy in the kind Reception the D. of N. gave me on Monday to his House whither I went to return him Thanks for his Civility to me He told me I came to him on a very proper Day being Innocents-Day for that he believed I was so in the Matters laid to my charge and that he had now done with me and should as Opportunity offer'd readily serve me in any thing He desired me to be kind to my Uncle L who had taken great pains on my behalf I gave him thereupon over and above other Kindness before Here 's now a return to Prayer God help me to improve so great Mercy Passages a little before the Death of my Dear Wife and about her Sickness and Death May 13 1686. I met with Stops as to my London Journey by Business and my Dear Wife's Illness for this very Day in the Morning she was ev'n spent with a Conghing-Fit I was called from Prayer in my Family found her very Ill but blessed be God soon grew better and told me I bless God I am now pretty well Now I was earnest with the Lord that he would enable me to observe the Hints of Providence in my being stopt several times and my way to London as it were hedged up May 17 1686. I set forward for London notwithstanding the Cross Providences I met with a great Change in the Weather divers times a Cold that I had upon me a grievous Fit of the Asthma my dear Wife had insomuch as I plainly observ'd Providence against me as to that Journey at that time but notwithstanding upon Encouragement from my Wife that if I must needs go this Summer which she rather desired I would not because of Souldiers being much upon the Road going to the Camp I had as good go now as any other time I did set forward and part with my dear Wife this Day but never saw her more The Lord knows my Carriage at London was too light and vain I wonder'd I heard nothing from Ollercarr waited a Fortnight for Letters and did my self write several but through their miscarriage and as the Lord pleased to order it I received four all of a day most of which brought me the sad Tidings of my dear Wife's Death which was aggravated greatly in that I had not heard of her Illness till I heard of her Death and all came in Letters to me at London at which time I had one under my Wife's Hand to acquaint me with her late Illness but that blessed be God she was better an Account of which here follows after I have given first an Account of mine just sending to the Post directed to her at that very instant when I received this that follows A Copy of my Letter the Last I ever writ or must write to my Dear Wife now I trust with God My Dearest I Am in great expectation of Nanny's coming up to London according to the Desire of my last which Business now only stays me in Town Thou canst not imagine how much I am concerned at thy silence or at least thy Letters Miscarriage I having not received one Letter from thee since I left thee this being I think the fourth that I have
just And to his Life conform Since we Profession make we must The Gospel thus adorn He is our Lord Redeemer and We do profess that we By what he 's done are now redeem'd From all Iniquity His Name we own to call upon Are therefore strictly boâ—… To honour not reproach the same His Glory forth to sound Do we of Nature most divine Pretend for to partake Let us in all our Actions shine And him our Pattern make Do we to 's Doctrine credit give Labour we to adorn The Gospel then in every thing By sutable return Have we his Spirit then we 're led With glorious Success To live and act and walk i' th ways Of Truth and Holiness True Faith in Christ where ' ere it 's found will purge and purify It mends the Heart and every part The Life 's reform'd hereby A Love to Christ we all profess O let this Love constrain Vs for to live to him that dy'd And now is rose again Christ while on Earth was undefil'd Most Sinless was his State No stain or spot did ever soil This Lamb Immaculate He by his Blessed Life while here Did an Example give How we should carry walk and speak And Holy Lives should live In all his ways he was sincere Nothing could ever soil That perfect Innocence of his So free from Craft and Guile Meditations upon Mr. G's Text 1 Joh. 4. 7. And every one that loveth is born of God c. THe gracious Soul that 's born of God And has a saving sight Of what is Evil and what 's Good And knoweth God aright He loveth God and Godliness And every Saint that he Believes God's Image stampt upon In Truth and Verity Lord grant me Teaching from Above Illuminate me so That thou a God in Covenant I savingly may know That Light of Nature all Men have It never can afford The full Idea of that God Who is the Living Lord. Nor can the best of Creatures show Though wonderfully wrought The Splendour of the God Above Too vainly this way sought No 't is the Soul that 's born again And 's by the Spirit taught Can only fear and serve the Lord And know him as he ought Such they 'l sincerely seek to God They call and knock and cry Will learn to pray from Day to Day With Importunity Re thou the Portion of my Soul I then can be content With smallest share of Worldly Fare And meanest Settlement Give me a Christ or I 'm undone Hear Lord my Suit and Cry Let me be thine and Christ be mine Without him I must die Bless to my Soul the means of Grace Thy Institutions all Incline mine Ear O Lord to hear And to obey thy Call Meditations upon Isa 50. 10. Who is there among you that feareth the Lord c. HE that does truly fear the Lord And 's Servant doth obey Who walk's i' th dark and sees no Light May yet upon him stay He may with greatest Confidence A Succour from him claim Who is the Lord Jehovah Great By trusting in his Name Meditations upon Luk. 10. 31. By chance there came down a certain Priest that way c. ALL Mankind since the Fall are bent To travel out o' th way That leads to Bliss and Happiness And sinfully to stray Both Priest and Levite here agree When as a wounded Man They did espy to pass him by Without Compassion Legal and Moral Righteousness Can never give Relief But dreadful Comforters do prove To Souls opprest with Grief And as for formal Holiness Or bare Profession made It never can relieve a Man With Comfort when dismay'd 'T is none of these that can appease The burthen'd Sinner fainting It 's Christ alone that such an one Is longing for and panting Turn then aside my Blessed Lord A wounded Sinner see For I am sure I need a Cure Have Mercy Lord on me Other Physicians all I find But vain as to my Case I must depend unto the end O Lord upon thy Grace O thou the good Samaritan Compassionate and kind Pour in thine Oil upon my Soul Then healing I shall find Meditations on 1 Joh. 2. 29. If ye know that he is righteous c. KNowing that Christ is righteous Must necessar'ly show That he must needs be born of God That Righteousness doth do A Legal Righteousness none can Discharge since Adam's Fall But here 's our Comfort God accepts What 's Evangelical Meditations upon Mr. F's Text Phil. 1. 27. Only let your Conversation be as becometh the Gospel of Christ GOD grant our Conversations here May ever more be such As may the Gospel of our Lord Adorn and Credit much It presses Holiness in Life And teaches to deny Vngodliness and Worldly Lusts And living soberly The Gospel pure and its Rules Do reach the inward part And notice take of all Mistakes Both in the Life and Heart 'T is Holy Righteous Just and Good Directs us to abstain From all appearances of Ill From Carriage light and vain To cleanse our selves from Filthiness Both of the Flesh and Spirit T' avoid indecent Wantonness And Gospel-Rules to credit All sinful Gestures it forbids And Carriage vain and light The Glances of a Lustful Eye And Works that shun the Light Thy Word O Lord's a Word of Truth Forbids Deceit and Guile Teaches to fly Hypocrisy And ev'ry Motion vile An Hymn upon Mr. C's Text Eccles 12. 1. Remember now thy Creator c. REmember thy Creator now Whilst youthful Days do last Now know love fear and serve thy God For Age is hastning fast The Evil Days are drawing on Then now lay up thy Treasure For being come thou 'lt find and say In these I have no Pleasure An Hymn upon Rev. 2. 10. Fear none of those things c. FFar not the Troubles Jesus saith Vnto his Church below That thou may'st here be call'd to bear And forc'd to undergo The Devil by his Instruments To Prison some shall hale Yet 't is but some it is not all The Promise cannot fail A ten Days Trial such may have And Tribulation bear But being faithful unto Death ACrown of Life shall wear An Hymn on 1 Tim. 2. 5. ONE God there is and only One One Mediator High The Man Christ Jesus who for all Did pay full Price and die On 1 Joh. 2. 1 3. IF any sin we have on High An Advocate who spilt His precious Blood that he thereby Might expiate our Guilt On Rev. 5. 13. BLessing and Glory and Renown To him we give therefore That sits o' th Throne and to the Lamb Of God for evermore Psal 113. turned into other Verse and a more common Tune April 1686. OYe the Servants of the Lord His Holy Name adore Sing forth his Praise with one accord And bless him evermore Ev'n from the rising of the Sun Vnto its going down Cease not this praising Work begun Give Glory and Renown Above all Nations God is High His glittering Glory count Does very much for Majesty The Heavens High
hath done great Things for us of which we are glad O that we would put on all the Strength we have and put it forth and go to God for more and be exalted in our Desires and Zeal and Endeavours and do to our utmost for God O that all those who name the Name of Christ would part from Iniquity and labour to stand compleat in the Will of God filling up their Days and Places and Relations with Duty and leading such unblameable and exemplary Lives as may condemn the wicked World and be expressive of God and shew forth the Vertues of him that hath called them out of Darkness into his marvellous Light O that I could see the Church the Lamb's Wife in her Bravery in her Garments of wrought Gold as a Bride made ready for her Husband and so the Beauty of the Lord our God upon all those who own themselves his Children begotten to him by the Gospel Reader The worthy Author of this small Piece which is noâ— put into thine Hands by an Hand of Love was one of mine intimate Acquaintance a Gentleman yea and more than so a Godly Man a Man in Christ of a Worshipful Family and which is yet more of the Houshold of Faith one that could fetch hiâ— Pedigrâ—â— from Heaven and call God Father He had a good Temporal Estate the Câ—…ouâ—s of this Life having been boâ—…fully dealâ—â—ut to him but he did not take up with them nor value himself by them for he was rich toward God rich in Faith and good Works After many Troubles which he met with divers tosses and tumblings which disturbed that sweet Repose he otherwise would gladly have taken he did by the good Hand of God upon him fix in this City where he had a comfortable enjoyment of himself sitting with great delight under the refreshing Shadow of his dearest Lord in the most precious Ordinances of the Gospel It pleased God after a considerable time to direct and incline his Heart to join himself to that Flock of Christ over which the Holy Ghost hath made me Overseer In which he was very eminent for his constant Attendance and serious Attention and great Affection He took the Sermons deliver'd verbatim read them to his Wife and Family when he came home and several of them he wrote out in a very fair Hand that he might leave them behind him for the benefit of others He was an humble and holy Christian no Busy-body not captious nor quarrelsom a Companion of all those that feared God for in them was all his Delight as the Excellent Ones of the Earth Most willing to condescend to and be familiar with Persons of low Degree not valuing any so much by what they had of the World as by the Relation in which they stood to Christ and by the Spirit Grace and Disposition of Christ which discover'd it self in them He was no Fashion-monger Genteel but not Gaudy Neat but Modest and Sober so adorning himself as that he might adorn the Doctrine of his God and Saviour putting on Christ and Mercy and Bowels and over all Humility that was the upper Garment through which the rest were seen being immovably resolved to keep the Commandments of God He bid Evil-doers depart from him and was a Companion of them that would walk with him in the Way everlasting They and none but they were the Men of his Choice When our publick Liberty was by our good God graciously given us after very long and furious Storms had been upon us he soon made choice of me for his Pastor and that Flock of Christ which I am appointed to water and lead into green Pastures and by the still Waters he did as I said before choose to walk in a Holy Communion with And with them he continued until the Great God in whose Hand our Times are was pleased to remove him to the Church Triumphant in Heaven During all that Time he was very exemplary to others and no less pleasant to me I being desired one Day to preach the Morning-Lecture in Southwark he would needs accompany me We together crossed the Water and either going or returning he got Cold which was obstinate and kindled in him a Feaver and that Feaver consumed him his little Oil spent aspace and the Lamp of his precious and much desired Life was soon extinguished But O how did he shine and glorify God in that Fire How sweetly did he carry toward him without any Quarrelling or the least spice of Discontent I heard not the least word that spake a Dislike of the Providence No no his Spirit was as it ought to be submitted to the Divine Will and he at God's disposal ready to die for Preparation had been his Work and willing to die for that would be his Advantage His submissive Resignation to the Holy Will of God herein see in the Record he left in his Diary in the beginning of his Sickness thus March 10 Through Mercy this Day much better with me than my Desert tho I find my self somewhat indispos'd by Cold full of Aches and Pains and Chilliness and sore Eyes the Lord if it be his Will heal me this Night or grant a Preparedness for his Pleasure and that as the outward Man decays the inward Man may be renewed day by day The Lord pardon my Sin and accept of Praise for all Mercies And the Night following which was the last he writ in his Diary he recorded it thus March 21. This Day some Distemper seems to hang upon me thô not worse blessed be God than last Night The Lord in Mercy heal me and recover me or fit me for thy Pleasure The good Lord fit me for the approaching Sabbath and make it a good Day to my Soul for Christ's Sake Pardon my Sin and take Praise And God was exceeding gracious to him for he chained up Satan so that he could not throw one fiery Dart at him and he enabled Conscience to bear its Testimony to his filial State and having led his Conversation in the World in Simplicity and godly Sincerity not with fleshly Wisdom but by the Grace of God and also he lifted upon him the Light of his Countenance shed abroad his Love in his Heart by the Holy Ghost which had been given him and furnished him with such an Anchor of Hope as was fixed within the Vail and both sure and stedfast And all this being done for him it was not in the power of the King of Terrors to affright him but in his nearest Approaches he could look him in the Face without any Discomposure and not only triumph over him as a baffled and conquer'd Enemy whose Teeth were broken and Sting lost but likewise bid him welcome as a Messenger sent by his Father to do him a real Kindness And knowing whom he had believed he could with Joy breath out his Last and take his Flight to the unseen World where as he was sure his dearest Lord had taken up his own Rest at
Ollercarr We travell'd from one place to another not staying long in any till we came into Leicester-shire And the Lord preserved me in all my Wandrings blessed be his most holy Name and gave me much Favour in the eyes of those I visited and had with all most hearty Welcome and free Entertainment Many remarkable Passages and great Providences I experienc'd as I came from Place to Place mention'd particularly in my Diary and therefore less needful here only this Upon the 18th of July 1685 I find my Experience noted in the said Diary That notwithstanding my Enemies Threatnings and my Fears my Dear God had wonderfully preserv'd me so that through Mercy no Evil has hitherto befaln me O that I could take Encouragement from my Father's Goodness to live more the Life of Faith and to depend more upon God! upon that God that has brought me out of many Troubles and kept me from many Dangers he has delivered does deliver can deliver and I trust will yet deliver me O that in the mean time present afflictive Dispensations may be to his Glory to my Soul's Advantage and my Relations Benefit Upon the 5th of July I came to Mr. S. where for better safety I went by the name of there I had most friendly Entertainment found him exceeding good chearful Company himself as those also who were several of that Neighbourhood that came to see me Here I had very comfortable and Soul-refreshing Society and Safety while I staid And upon the 21st of July 1685 upon the advice of very worthy and good Friends such as Mr. S. Brother S. c. besides my own Inclinations to surrender my self to the D. of N. I came away in the Evening from Mr. S. and therefore could reach no further than Duffeild that Night We got not thither till 11 a Clock and therefore concluded it best to stay at a little Ale-house at the hither End of the Town that Godfrey Batty knew though I did not And here I observ'd a great Providence the Watch-men of that Town just stood at the Door where we lighted being I have cause to believe at that time in an especial manner directed to look strictly for me as I understand all the Watch-men for many Miles round about my House were directed to do These Watch-men demanded my Name but Godfrey very prudently by telling them his prevented their further Inquiry there we lighted and the Watch-men presently came in who I entertain'd with Ale and Tobacco and left Godfrey with them whilst I in my Clothes and Boots went to lie down upon a Bed in the next Room being both Sleepy and Weary but now being under a slavish Fear and a disquieted Mind lest I should be taken before I had surrendred for which the good Lord forgive me though I did get 3 or 4 hours Rest yet not one wink of Sleep In the Morning early the Constable came who knocking at the Window where I lay I verily thought I had been surprized but it appeared it was only to see whether the Watch-men duly observed their Office the Landlord ask'd Godfrey my Name which he refused then to tell him but promised he would the next time he saw him which as the Lord ordered it did satisfy though he told him he could stop and secure me if he would By 6 a Clock on Wednesday Morning I got to my House at Ollercarr and though in the way I met with and saw several People who I believe most if not all knew me yet through the Lord's Restraints none to hurt me By 9 a Clock that Morning after I had stay'd about 2 Hours with my Dear Wife whom I had not seen of long before and was her self under some Trouble and having Warrants out against her as was said was a little before forc'd to keep from home I went to Mr. T. at Wallen-wells who being abroad came not Home till 8 a Clock that Night I acquainted him with my Design of surrendring my self to the Duke of Newcastle and desired his Company with me I perceived him timorous and something shy he told me he would not do it till he had obtained first the Duke's leave to that purpose upon which by a Letter on purpose he acquaints the Duke with my desire to surrender my self to him To which the Duke made this Return on Thursday Morning he gave him many Complements and Thanks for his Letter but told him that as for Mr. Disney he might secure him and expected that he came along with him Upon this startling Answer I began to think I had taken a wrong Method in this Surrender and did expect nothing less from the Duke's Letter than being sent to Nottingham Goal That Day about 4 a Clock we went to Welbeck when I feared to find him the more severe upon me because of the Corporation-men of Nottingham who I understood dined with him that Day But here I again experienced the Goodness of the Lord who had so wonderfully moderated his Spirit that I found him very calm and kind I acquainted him that I understanding he had sent his Warrant out against me some time since I was now come to wait upon him to know his Pleasure He replied he never sent out any Warrant against me nor had he any thing to charge me with only a great Rumour there was of a Character-Paper directed to me which the Aldermen of Nottingham had sent to King and Council that therefore it was convenient I should be forth-coming till he had acquainted the King and the Lord Lieutenant of Derbyshire with my Surrender and did not doubt but in a Week's time he should receive Orders for my Liberty In the mean time he wish'd me to make choice of any Friend in the County to be withal I named my Uncle Lee which he readily approved of sent his Servant and Letter with me And thither we came on Friday Morning about 10 a Clock there I had kind Reception and friendly Entertainment as also my Wife and 2 Servants with me Here again the Devil set his Agents a-work to raise slanderous and lying Reports of me by some it was reported that the Aldermen of Nottingham were drawing up a Paper against me to send to London others that I was run away privately from my Uncle Lee some that I was a Prisoner at Newark others reported me hanged in the West at the same time the Lady Lisle was executed others said that John Oliver of Lincoln was just going to London to swear Treason against me and some others but I might easily prevent and stop him by laying an Action I had upon him and so imprison him But this Counsel I utterly disliked and bless God none of these things did much move me A Passage in my Diary giving this Reason for it I can heartily trust the Lord who has all along been my Helper I can with Comfort enough set a single God against all mine Enemies Whilst I was at my Uncle Lee's which was between
there was a Conventicle that Night there were so many Dissenters about the Fire How reproachfully so ever these might speak I believe Mr. Mayor then Parker at Hencross was more serious when he told me the Town of Nottingham was much beholden to our Conventicle for the timely stopping of those Flames 12. The 3d of December 1685. this Night through extraordinary Drowsiness at Family-Prayer I slep'd 2 or 3 times and awaking again did not use the best means I could and should of standing up to prevent the Drowsiness I hop'd might go off without it Upon which being dropt again asleep to my Apprehensions something gave me a great Blow upon the Middle of my Back which presently awaked me in a Fright which I did really feel paining me some Minutes after I was awaken I have purpos'd upon it and hope through Grace to perform it to be always more watchful for the future against such a Sin This brings to my Mind another Providence of like nature My eldest Brother being to repeat a Lecture-Sermon one Night in my Father's Family I being then very young and not liking that Work cry'd to go to Bed and to have my Brother with me in which after some repulse I was gratifi'd in my Desire to our Chamber we went and into Bed I got but before I could drop asleep I felt the bottom of the Bed-clothes lift up where presently something pull'd me by the Toe but nothing there was to be seen this affrighted me exceedingly and though young I could conclude it a Rebuke to me for hindring that pious Exercise of Repetition and durst never do it after Some good Sayings of good Men I find collected in my Diary out of Sermons I have heard viz. 1. THere 's few if any whose Joys in a comfortable Communion with God are not sometimes clouded with Sorrow 2. Where the Minister's Work ends there the Hearer's begins 3. It shows but little Love to God in Duty when we come with Unwillingness stay with Weariness and go away with Gladness 4. A Man may be fat in Gifts yet lean in Grace 5. In the want of all things we may taste and see how sweet the Lord is 6. It 's comfortable Musick to hear the Bird in the Breast singing whatever we suffer for it 7. That Repentance is seldom true-hearted that is gray-headed 8. Let our Thirst to worldly things be cold to heavenly things inflamed 9. It 's easy for Men to fly from Duty but impossible to avoid their Account 10. Accustom thy self to Duty but do not Duties customarily 11. Entertain none in your Houses that shut God out of their Hearts 12. Associate not your selves with those as Friends that are God's Enemies 13. They cannot be true to Men that are false to God 14. Dare not to decline Duty to preserve Liberty 15. Let the present Day 's Practice be still the Mending of the past Day 's Errors 16. I fear my Duties more than my Sins Duties lift me up but my Sins humble me 17. It 's well if Rome's Reliques amongst us do not keep Possession for Popery 18. Give not way to sleep any Night till thou hast particularly inquired into thy Carriage the Day past 19. Family-Passions cloud Faith disturb Duty and darken Comforts 20. He never wants Comfort that lives content 21. That Man never wants his own Will that makes God's Will his 22. They need not drink of another's Bucket that have the Fountain nor use Stilts and Crutches that have Spiritual Strength 23. Let Parents and Governours by their Examples endeavour to influence Children and Servants into a good Practice 24. Sanctified Troubles are Tokens of special Love 25. If your Houses be not Nurseries for Heaven they 'l be breeding Places for Hell 26. Whatever Evil we would reprove in another we must be doubly watchful against it our selves 27. Early beginnings in Goodness makes an easy Death-Bed 28. Put not that of to last that cannot be done too soon 29. We have no more to live upon to Eternity than what we lay up in Time 30. It 's better to be reproached for being too soon than damned for being too late in Heaven's ways 31. Good Families make good Churches and good Education good Families 32. The contented Man is never poor let him have never so little and the discontented Man never rich let him have never so much 33. There are two Jubilees kept in Heaven one at the Conversion of a Sinner on Earth the other at his Glorification in Heaven 34. Bad Times to live in are good Times to die in 35. Afflictions are hard Meat but Patience a good Digester 36. The best Trial of our Spiritual Estate is by the tenure of our Actions not by this or that particular Action 37. Though a sincere Christian will not overtake a Sin yet the most sincere may be overtaken with a Sin 38. Sad Conclusions might be drawn against eminent Saints if some particular Actions were a Rule to judge by 39. It 's good to be as charitable to others as ordinarily we are partial to our selves 40. The best of Saints would never arrive at Assurance if it did not consist with many Imperfections 41. A sanctified Cross hath more of Mercy in it than an unsanctified Comfort 42. The Company a Man keeps is a Commentary upon his Life 43. Persecuted Godliness is far more eligible than prosperous Prophaneness 44. It 's the very Nature of true Faith to make future Things present 45. It 's very difficult for one to be angry and not sin and very dangerous to sin in being angry 46. It 's good Scripture-Logick to draw Conclusions of Confidence from Premises of Experience 47. The poorest in the World has more than he had when he came into the World and more than he can carry out when he leaves the World 48. Duties rested in as well as Sins unrepented of are dangerous 49. If Mercy be not a Load-stone to draw us nearer to God it will be a Mill-stone to sink us deeper into Hell 50. It 's sad to lose good Men in the best Times but looks like a Judgment to lose them in the worst The Surviving Advice of a Deceased Husband to a Surviving Wife Or a Call from the Dead to the Living Written January the 30th 168 and intended for my Dear Wife's Perusal if it shall please the Lord She survive Me. Note This was written some time before the Death of his former Wife Dearest on Earth I Having of some late Months been imploy'd in setting not only my Heart which I accounted my greatest Work but my House in order which I judged likewise absolutely necessary in order to my great Change I could not but leave a few Lines of Advice to thee my best Friend on Earth which whilst I live I hope to follow with my Prayers to the great God and our heavenly Father for his Blessing upon This I was the rather induced to do now when through Mercy in perfect Health that I might
Riper-years of lost Time in Youth will prove sad and cost dear and be assured that Time 's lost that 's spent either in Eating Drinking Sleeping Visiting or Sportings more than Necessity requires 13. If the Lord should again make thee Head of a Family and bless thee with Children as well as Servants take care of their Souls train them up for God and let thy House be a Nursery for Heaven take an account every Week of their Proficiency in Spirituals and always esteem of those Children and Servants most that love fear and serve God best Travel in Birth to see Christ formed in thine and know that if any go from thy House to Hell through thy neglect their Souls will be required at thy Hands 14. Make Religion thy Business and always account the serving of God and the saving thy Soul to be the greatest Work thou art sent into the World about and continued in the World for give not Christ the World's leavings much rather let the World have his 15. Get right and well-grounded Evidences for Heaven O lay not a Sandy Foundation for the Building that 's to stand to Eternity 〈…〉 some Evidences for Heaven thou'lt find in the first part of this Treatise others in Rogers's Evidences for Heaven Examine thy State often and impartially and never be satisfied till the Interest betwixt Christ and thy Soul be compleated and cleared up 16. Sit loose from the World and seek not great things for thy self here My Circumstances in the World be such that I cannot leave thee much more than what was setled upon Marriage but all I could I have and a little with the Lord's Blessing is better than the great Revenues of many Wicked Make sure of an Estate in Heaven live much upon Invisibles choose Christ for a Portion and thou art made for ever 17. Be content with thy Condition here whatever 't is and expect Sufferings A Christian's Life here is militant If thou continue to keep thy Face Heavenwards which I trust thou wilt then may the Devil the World and the Flesh be frequently sallying out against thee But O pray that thy Faith fail not and that God's Grace may be sufficient for thee 18. Labour to persevere in the good Ways of God maintain thine Integrity and hold out unto the end whatever it cost thee Be a Follower of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises or Things promised All thy Bitters here will serve to make Heaven more sweet to thee and being Faithful unto Death Christ will give thee a Crown of Life 19. Get off from thine own Bottom place no Confidence in the Flesh look off from thine own Righteousness thine own Duties thine own Services when thou doest the best in point of Justification and depend and rest only on Christ upon whose account alone thou canst be accepted and saved It 's Christ's Righteousness alone imputed to thee for Justification and imparted to thee for thy Sanctification that can or will bestead thee 20. Be rich in good Works and go about doing Good hold on thy Charitable way of doing Good to Bodies but especially befriend poor Souls Be always as kind as thy Circumstances will allow to those worthy good Ministers of the Gospel thou and I were always beholden to and I am perswaded shall be blessing God for as Instruments in his Hand of our Good to Eternity 21. Allow thy self in no Sin for the least Sin loved and allowed is certainly damning When God has at any time convinced thee of a Sin and Conscience has flown in thy Face and thou art full of Terrour go to God down upon thy Knees and beg pardoning Grace and Mercy leave him not till thou hast obtained that Blessing and always have a care of Relapses for though we find a David and Lot and others of the dear Servants of God recorded in Scripture guilty of some great Miscarriages yet we find them sorely broken for those Things and humbled and not repeating and relapsing again into them 22. Prepare for Eternity get and keep Oil in thy Lamp that it be not to buy when thy Lamp should be found burning put on thy Wedding-Garments and be prepared c. 23. Mourn not for me excessively I am gone but thy God and my God stays with thee and I trust will guide thee by his Counsel till he conduct thee to his Glory I am dead but God lives thou hast no Husband on Earth what then If thy Maker be but thy Husband thou hast cause enough to rejoice What though they that have seen me shall in this World see me no more This is my Comfort let it be thine he does see me that has seen though my weak yet my sincere Yernings and Groanings after him he sees me that will never say I know you not being a God that will not forget Covenant he sees me who has seen my Soul in Travel and those Pangs of Desite after him that no others have O'couldst thou but hear what I confidently hope through the Morits and Mediation of my dear Redeemer I shall before thou â—â—est this Paper my God in the Riches of his Mercy saying to this effect Yonder 's poor such a one come to my Gate let him in he chose me for a Portion whilst on Earth and gave himself according to his weak Measures up to me I will in no wise cast him off Surely this would abate thy Sorrows surely then thou wouldst not wish me so Ill as to be on Earth again well live in the Faith of this and walk comfortably with thy God God has made thee indeed whilst on Earth to me the greatest outward blessing that ever I enjoyed O let me not want thy Company in Heaven And now my Dearest on Earth I commit thee to the keeping and Mercy of the Great Jehovah I resign thee to that God who is thy Maker and thy Husband serve him and thy Generation according to his Will here that thou mayest sleep in Jesus and be found in him Gervase Disney POST-SCRIPT OR A Continuation of the most Remarkable Passages of my LIFE since the other the last of June 1686. SINCE my last particular View of my Diary design'd in the Treatise of my Life I find my up's and down's and that I am but a poor vile and weak Creature unable of my self to answer by a holy and humble Carriage the Lord 's great Goodness to me in late signal Deliverances out of Trouble and that upon better Terms than I could expect I was now no sooner at ease and rest thrô the Lord's Mercy and at liberty than I grew secure and begun to be too regardless of Soul-Concerns I too little remembred and considered Promises made when under Affliction and neglected too much to pay those Vows My Circumstances when in Trouble were a Snare to me in some Particulars In my Diary the 19th of September 1685 I find my self blessing God for his Protection and Care of me in my Journey and
Carriage to her was too high and peevish apprehending her too little submissive to me as a Husband and too ready to invade the Authority I thought my self to have a Right to here I might mistake but however by it see abundance of Pride and Corruption in my Nature the Good Lord humble me for that 6. My not discharging it may be all Marriage-Duties as I ought might provoke the Lord. 7. It may be I have done this in cumbring my self with so much worldly Business in bad times and when I had no need Now the Lord seems to knock me off from such Cumbers by taking from me her that was wonderfully assisting to me in them Present Thoughts I have had with reference to my Removal since the Death of my Wife as to a retired Life After my seeking God by Prayer about my Settlement the Encouragements for my continuing at Ollercarr were such as these 1. THE Lord's Providence bringing me to this Place more particularly manifest in my Diary in the first part of my Life and his giving me great Encouragement in my enjoying Gospel-Ordinances here without very much Interruption or Disturbance 2. The Favour and Respect he has been pleased to give me from the whole Neighbourhood 3. A Settlement by House-keeping Necessaries being concerned to take care of some whom I would provide for according to my Ability 4. My having a great Husbandry upon my Hands and eleven Years Lease of this Estate 5. The Capacity I am in of serving this Neighbourhood by the publick Opportunities the Lord has blest me with here Reasons and Encouragements for Removing from Ollercarr 1. THe Loss of my Dear Wife upon whose account at first I was chiefly induc'd to this Place but now very uncomfortable to me 2. The irregular Carriages and Behaviour of Servants in Family-Affairs and my Unfitness to manage and look after them 3. In regard that I have Encouragement enough that I may let this Land or else manage it with two or three faithful Servants in my Absence and it may be more to my advantage than now 4. The very great Unsetledness of Present-times and my Obnoxiousness to their Effects seems to call me to a more retired way of Living than here at Ollercarr 5. The Debts which at present I am in I am apprehensive can no better way be soon discharged which I much desire than by giving up House-keeping at least for some time 6. By a more retired way of Living I may have greater advantage for Self-Reflections and more time than here I can have for the Management of Soul-Concerns 7. The Cumbers of the World will ill sute me in my solitary and lonesome Condition when the Language of present Providence seems to call me off from these things 8. By giving up House for a time I shall have the advantage of Visiting Conversing with and serving some Relations that need Help and Assistance and I have been too much wanting to 9. Because my present Purpose after seeking the Lord in the case is but to leave my House here for the Winter half-year it being uncomfortable enough then 10. Mr. Coats and his Dear Consort whom I heartily love and honour need be no Losers by this Alteration they may here keep House take Tablers serve their Generation and live at as little charge I believe as any where else and if so then the great Objections I have against leaving this House will be removed and my leaving it encouraged and the Ordinances of God will still be kept up here to the Refreshment of this hungering Neighbourhood 11. I may the rather go upon this account that Mr. Coats the last Year had given me notice to remove from me The Author having gone so far by his own Hand in the Account of his Life to June 86 some farther Passages since that time to the time of his Death be pleased to take a view of in the Preface written by his Worthy and Reverend Pastor In which Place it was thought best to insert them rather than to interrupt what he had collected and recorded himself LETTERS A LETTER to a Relation inviting him to forsake Sin and to pursue Holiness April 1685. SIR COnsidering the ill use you have made of some former Advice given you I have not upon that account much encouragement to make further Attempts of that nature yet knowing that the Work of Convincing and Converting is the Lord's and that the Wind blows where and when it listeth I may not despair but some Good through the Blessing of the Almighty may yet be done upon you I do indeed purposely conceal my Name at present lest you should despise or slight the Advice upon the account of the Adviser whom you have too lavishly and unjustly reproached though I am confident I have deserved better Treatment at your hands But this is not the thing such Passages I can pass by yet sadly bewail them in you as knowing them to be some of the dismal Effects of your drunken Frolicks but remember for these and the like things God will bring you to Judgment I am not ignorant that many of those that wish you well have advis'd and reprov'd you again and again for your sinful Follies and would fain have you as well remember that terrible Threatning That he that being often reprov'd and hardens his Heart shall suddenly be destroy'd and that without Remedy Wherein you have injured me by your Tongue I can pass it by I would not return Slander for Slander nor answer Railing with Railing nor Reproach with Reproach I have not so learned Christ I can heartily pity you forgive you and pray for you and would now fain perswade you to be good and what can be more your Interest than to be so Come Sir if you have any respect to a dear and tender Wife that lies in your Bosom to a small Babe to indulgent Parents to well-wishing Friends to your own Soul Body or Estate but above all to the Commands of a great God you must be good make a stand consider and take up in time It 's my Love to you makes me thus plain with you for I dare not flatter Whatever you may think or however others may endeavour to palliate great Sins by giving them easy Names Sin will be called Sin and Wickedness Wickedness Drunkenness will be call'd Drunkenness and Sweating Swearing at the Great-day and punished as such and why not now Repentance is your Duty and that can never be right and evangelical without Reformation I do believe it is your desire to be eternally happy and can you expect it if you be not holy Without Holiness no one shall see the Lord Heb. 12. 14. Can you ever expect to get in at the Strait-gate while you walk in the Broad-way no Strait is the Gate and narrow the Way that leadeth unto Life and few there be that find it O that you may be one of those few Will you do the Devil's Work and expect the Lord's
Wages it cannot be for your Bible tells you What you sow that shall you reap and he that cannot lie hath said If you live after the Flesh you shall die but if you through the Spirit do mortify the Deeds of the Body ye shall live I am not for inviting you to a Party or for tying up Salvation to this or that Opinion but I would fain prevail with you to be good for be of what Opinion you will the Scripture warrants me to tell you That without Strictness Self-denial and Holiness you cannot be saved Mat. 16. 42. Mat. 11. 12. 1 Pet. 1. 15 16. Dear Sir as you tender the everlasting Welfare of your Soul do no longer as the most but imitate the best and endeavour to be a Follower of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises or things promised Forsake bad Company for you know who has said The Companion of Fools shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. Be you a Companion of those that fear God and let not the Wicked any longer intice you or however prevail with you for the Scripture is very clear and positive in it That except Drunkards repent and reform they shall be shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6. 9 10. That except Swearers repent of their prophane Swearing and reform they shall fall into Condemnation James 5. 12. That unless Liars put away their Lying and speak every one Truth to his Neighbour they shall have their part in the Lake that burns with Fire and Brimstone Rev. 20. 8. That if Company-keepers forsake not the Foolish that is the Wicked and live they shall be reckoned amongst the Companions of the Wicked who shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. I charge you not but leave it to your own Conscience to consider how far you are guilty in any of these Matters and then get into your Closet down upon your Knees bewail before God your sinful Miscarriages and beg a new Heart and Grace that you may live a new Life and be assured that what I say is out of a sense of your deplorable Condition whilst you remain in your Sins and a Desire to see you return to that God who waits to be gracious Come to Christ and heartily accept him for he is offered to you O that I could see this great Work done what a rejoycing would it be to all that are good about you Then might your Wife bless God for such a Husband who would help her Heavenwards then would your pious Relations delight in your Society and your Parents with joy say as the Father of the Prodigal This my Son was lost but is found was dead but is alive yea the Conversion of a Sinner on Earth causes Joy in Heaven That the Lord would bless this Advice to you is the earnest Prayers of him who shall then approve himself always Your Friend and Servant in Christ Jesus G. D. A Letter to my Mother Mrs. B. D. upon the Death of her good Daughter and my dear Sister Stanyforth Ever honoured Mother AT this time I have much Business upon my hands and some that requires quick dispatch otherwise my coming to see you would have prevented my writing to you and now I should be sorry that these Lines should add weight to your Sorrows by setting your Wounds a bleeding afresh I am much readier to bear a part of your Burthen having reason enough to be concern'd for and sensible of so sad a Breach as it has pleas'd the Lord to make upon us by the Death of my dear Sister Stanyforth Something I would contribute to your Support and Refreshment under such a Dispensation therefore desire your perusal of the under-written Considerations which has wonderfully supported me the Blessing of Heaven render them useful to you 1. We may and ought to consider the necessity of Dying 2 Sam. 14. 14. For we must needs die Preceding Generations made way for us and shall not we make way for others when God calls 2. The Friends we lose are not so much ours as God's God has taken but what he first lent This comforted Job when amongst other things he had lost his Children The Lord gave saith he and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord. 3. God has a hand in the Death of Friends My Times are in thy Hand says holy David and is there not an appointed time to be upon Earth 4. God in the saddest Passages of Providence aims at his People's Good All things shall work together for them that love God c. 5. God is still with us Psal 46. 1. Though Friends forsake us through unavoidable Mortality yet an everlasting God is where he was There is Sweetness enough in God to sweeten all outward imbittering Circumstances Though the Conduit-Pipes thrô which Mercies were convey'd unto us be taken away the Fountain runs still entire in God May we have a care of doing any thing to dim the Eye of our Faith for Hagar we read had a Fountain by but her blubbering Eyes kept her from beholding it 6. How great soever the Stroke and Affliction is we yet deserve greater our Sins are heavier than our Sufferings the Fire of God's Wrath is not proportion'd to the Fewel of our Sins 7. God has taken away one great Comfort but he might have taken away all Shall we receive Good at the Hands of God and shall we not receive Evil 8. Consider the Evil that comes by Discontent and immoderate Sorrow Discontent makes us our own Tormentors Luk. 21. In Patience possess your Souls by Impatience we are Possessors of our Sins and turn'd out of our Understandings Peace and Comfort Too immoderate Sorrow wastes the Spirits Prov. 15. By Sorrow of the Heart the Spirit is broken 2 Cor. 7. Worldly Sorrow worketh Death it greatly provokes God A meek and quiet Spirit is in the Sight of God of great price but a froward peevish Spirit is abominable to him Prov. 11. 20. 17. 20. 22. 5. Psal 18. 26. God may be provoked by this Sin to lengthen out Misery and to adjourn Mercy 9. God gives and takes away Relations at his own Pleasure let us rather praise God we have enjoy'd such a Blessing so long than repine she is gone so soon bless we a smiting as well as a smiling God a taking as well as a giving God 10. The Breach made is sad but herein God has 1. Done us no Wrong 2. He has done our dear Friend no Hurt Done us no Wrong he has taken but his own his own by his Creation by your Donation by Purchase and Redemption and by her own free Resignation And has our dear Father hurt her Is it to hurt her to put her to Bed to throw off her filthy Garments from her to gratify her in her own longing Desire which was To be dissolv'd and to be with Christ and to enshrine her in Glory 11. Think of the Invalidity of Weeping If Tears could possibly bring my
to a Relation growing loose in Conversation Dear Cousin THE Contents of this may seem strange to you especially as coming from one so unfit and unable to be your Monitor yet when I tell you it 's out of a sincere Love to your precious Soul and a hearty Desire of your Well-doing I doubt not but in Kindness it will be receiv'd as indeed it is intended not only the Relation between us but the Rules of Christianity will oblige us to watch over one another And truly Cousin I am satisfi'd that Religion never receives a greater Wound than by the Miscarriages of Professors Stains in them will prove more mischievous than the Spots of a Licentious Age. O Cousin The Eyes of the World are upon you nay God's Eye is upon you to whom you and all the World must be accountable With much Grief and Sadness of Heart I have very lately heard you reflected upon for some loose Carriages and that particularly by one eminent for Grace and Goodness whose Name I am obliged to conceal what he acquaints me with is in Tenderness to you and out of a hearty Desire I should improve my Interest in your behalf Some indeed of the times having made their Observations upon you seem themselves very much to condemn you as declaring you are in the direct way to ruin your self instancing in these things viz. Your High-house-keeping your Negligence in all your Affairs your frequent Contracting new Debts your Excess in Pleasures associating your self with the Gallants of the Age and your sinful Compliances in high Drinking One Person I know whose Company is scandalous enough yet your Intimacy with him great You are not as some fear very likely to do him good it 's well if he does not do you hurt Some say it had been well if you had never left Roadnook remembring your blameless Conversation there and your Zeal for God and Godliness My Desire and Prayers are you may be still found in the same Paths of Holiness remember from whence you are faln and repent and do your first Works having begun in the Spirit beware of ending in the Flesh You did run well and who has hindered you Come Cousin we can never think of entring the Strait-Gate by walking in the Broad-way and much better it had been we had never known the way of Life than after to walk in the Paths of Death If we live after the Flesh we shall die but if we through the Spirit do mortify the Deeds of the Body we shall live I hope you and I have so learn'd Christ as to know that the way of carnal Liberty and Looseness the way of evil Company and Fleshliness is not the way to Heaven I am not for tying up Salvation to this or that Opinion for let Men be of what Opinion they will surely without Strictness Self-denial and Holiness they cannot be saved Mat. 16. 42. Mat. 11. 12. 1 Pet. 1. 15 16. O then with holy David labour to be only a Companion of those that fear the Lord for God has said The Companions of Fools shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. and who greater Fools than impenitent Sinners Yours in Christ G. D. A Letter to my dear Friend Mr. Whitaker SIR I Receiv'd yours by our Neighbour by whose Conveyance I hope this may arrive your hands I return you hearty Thanks for your good Society whilst with us for which I am abundantly obliged to you not you to me I should be very glad to see you again with good Mrs. Whitaker with you when your Conveniency and more setled-times will encourage for truly at present it 's a dark and gloomy Day with us but Light is sown for the Righteous and Gladness for the upright in Heart Psal 97. 11. Our Ministers Night and Day are so strictly watch'd for that they come not at all amongst us many have here suffer'd very much some one way some another but yet truly God is good to Israel and to them of an upright Heart his Ways are certainly the best Ways however at present attended with Trouble and Difficulty Were it with us as Men and Devils would have it it would be much worse but they are under the Lord's Restraints who triumph over us Your kind and Christian Lines were no less seasonable than welcome at this Juncture when poor I find all Helps little enough to keep me unmov'd in such shaking days as ours and to prevent Murmurings Frettings and Repinings at the Prosperity of the Wicked Dear Sir pray that my Faith fail not The Lord establish our Hearts and Minds with Grace and enable us at what time we are afraid with holy David to trust in him and with Jehoshaphat under all Discouragements whatsoever to encourage our selves in the Lord our God I do believe God will issue things well and bring Order out of all Confusion and Light out of Darkness and Good out of all Evil that 's before us It will be thus in his Time if not in ours His will be done Yours c. G. D. To Mrs. Mary Lavet after her Marriage Decemb. 85. Dear Madam I Hope when all things are consider'd you will not see much cause to blame me that I have not before now welcomed and congratulated your arrival into our Condition Till your Letter to my Wife came which some ways strangely halted in its Voyage I knew not otherways than by common Fame which of late has prov'd too false to trust whether to call you by first or second Name however now Madam I wish you much Joy in the Change of it send a Thousand good Wishes after you and heartily beg what I am sure you desire That this Change of your Condition may be to the Glory of God the Advantage of your Soul and the Mutual Comfort and Satisfaction one of another I need not acquaint you who are better able to be my Monitor that the new Condition the Lord has brought you into calls for new Duties and may be accompanied with new Trials the Lord â—it you and your dear Yoak-Fellow good Mr. Lavet for all and crown your Change with many Blessings both Temporal Spiritual and Eternal I hope Madam you will believe though when last in the Country you would not make trial that my House is as much your Home as ever and glad we shall be at any time to enjoy such Guests My dear Wife begs your pardon for not answering your kind Letter for which she thanks you and hopes those hurrying Circumstances we were about that time under may excuse the Neglect The Lord â—it us for his Pleasure support us in a time of Trial enable us to maintain our Integrity and keep our Standing in Christianity whatever comes and prevent our declining and decaying in the good Ways of God is the earnest and hearty Prayers of him who needs and begs yours And O that we and all that wish well to Sion may pray hard for the Peace and Prosperity of Jerusalem for they shall
prosper that love her I am Madam Your most obliged Friend and humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mr. Lob at London Jan. 25 83. SIR I Receiv'd your very kind Letter and Christian Lines some time since and had return'd you my Thanks sooner had not extraordinary Business prevented I have cause to bless God for your Acquaintance and for that Christian Society I had with you whilst at London O that I could be as serviceable to you in the best things as you have been to me Poor unworthy Me who needs jogging Heavenwards It 's with us as with others a very dark and gloomy Day but Light is sown for the Righteous who shall reap if they faint not and Gladness for the upright in Heart as the Psalmist speaks O that we could be like the Doves of the Valley mourning after the Lord who seems to be departing from us The Sons of Violence with us act high our Sufferings many but O that none of these things may move us neither may we account our Lives dear to us if call'd to lay them down for the Sake of Christ and his Gospel If the Lord give us but a fixed Heart that we can trust in him we need not then be afraid of the worst times nor the saddest of Tidings but may encourage our selves in the Lord our God under the greatest Discouragements from Men whatsoever Surely the People of God have greatly provok'd God O that we may repent and return to him that smiteth God will certainly arise in the behalf and plead the Cause of his People he will work Deliverance for Sion if not in our time yet in his O that this may satisfy us And that when Foundations seem to be out of course we may with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages Dear Sir pray for us and for me in particular who need your Prayers that my Faith fail not that I may with Constancy and Courage own the good Ways of God and hold fast my Integrity the very desire of my Soul being to keep close to God I would fain win as many into Heaven's-ways and as much strengthen such Hands as hang down as such an unworthy Wretch as I may What Interest I have at the Throne of Grace I hope shall not fail to be improv'd for the Church of God and for you my dear Friend Being Sir Your hearty well-wishing Friend and Humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mrs. Sarah Reyner one of my Charge Jan. 85. Dear Mrs. Sarah I Receiv'd yours which though the first receiv'd is not I perceive the first sent for which I thank you and have according to your Desire sent you by paying it to Mr. Charleton's Clerk 50 s. I much wonder your Sister Elizabeth would not vouchsafe me one Line since she left the Country but however do rejoice to hear upon enquiry you both do well as to this World and I would fain hope you will not be negligent in minding the Affairs of a better World nor dare be regardless of your precious and immortal Souls You are both the Children of Religious Parents have been blest with a good Education and many Prayers are I believe lodg'd in Heaven for you so that you cannot miscarry at so cheap a rate as others may who have not had your Advantages for being good O that I could prevail with you to live up to such distinguishing Mercy You have I perceive good Settlements in the World bless God for that But O! are you well setled and interested in Christ Have you made sure of a Treasure in Heaven have you laid hold on eternal Life and secured the everlasting Welfare of your precious Souls Be your worldly Accommodations never so great till this be done your Work is not half done You are in a City of great Advantages I pray attend upon the best most powerful Soul-searching and Conscience-awakening Ministry you can with the Leave of those who are your Superiâ—rs Be thorow-pac'd in the Ways of God dare not to be slighty and indifferent in the Family-Duties I hope you are priviledged withal nor to neglect Closet-Duties as Prayer Reading the Scriptures Self-Examination Meditation and the like at least Morning and Evening Shun and avoid Temptations as much as may be considering the great Corruption and Depravedness of Nature Remember your Creator in the Days of your Youth and having set your Face Heavenward look not back It will be much my Rejoycing to see you and all of you the Off-spring of most pious Relations now with God do well and if my poor Prayers and Endeavours may any ways contribute hereto they are not they have not they shall not through Grace be wanting I being Yours c. G. D. Some Passages of a Letter in answer to my Mother Disney complaining of Decay of her Sight Honoured Mother I Return you my humble Thanks for your welcom Lines and do hope that the uncertainty of my Man's last Journey to Lincoln will excuse my then Silence It troubles me much to hear of your Eyes Decaying and Dimming which as you please to observe is one Effect of old Age It 's great Mercy the Lord has given you the use of them so long but far greater that he has given you a Heart to use them to his Glory and your own and others Benefit and Advantage I fear your too much Reading in the Day-time and at all by Candle-light has and does that way prove prejudicial to you I would therefore humbly beg you to favour them as much as may be and this am consident of would you please to take up your Abode with us there 's no Eyes in my Family but would chearfully and readily be at your Service to excuse and preserve your own which I trust the Lord will yet continue to you My good Aunt Thornton I am perswaded will not be against my improving this Argument for the Enjoyment of your good Companies here most desirable to us My Eyes I can perceive are not so strong as they have been O that as our bodily Eyes dim and decay the Eye of Faith may grow more clear for certainly a Look within the Vail must be most refreshing and supporting to a gracious Soul and a renewed Mind Those indeed that see best in our Days with bodily Eyes see en'e little or nothing but what has a sad and frightful Aspect and may occasion Matter of sad Thoughts but by Faith we may look into an unseen World take a View of unseen Comforts and live upon unseen Riches and Happiness which are the most pleasant things the most certain and the most lasting The worst in this World need not nay cannot dismay us Whilst we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 2 Cor. 4. 18 c. A Letter to Mr. Whitaker Jan. 24 1683. SIR THis Day I receiv'd yours till
want and cannot come But here must stay and die Answer I grant O Soul 't is Faith alone That great uniting Grace By which thou must lay hold of Christ The want of it 's thy Case Well Faith 's the Gift of God thou know'st Who biddeth thee believe And true Repentance he must give Or thou canst never live Well coming Sinner come away Be always of this Mind Thou must both knock and call and seek If Mercy thou wouldst find Lord Mercy Lord O poor Soul cry Thy Mercy Lord I crave Or here I die in Misery It 's Mercy I must have I do believe help Vnbelief My hold of Christ I 'le keep If run I cannot after thee Lord after thee I 'le creep Then Welcome Sinner unto Christ Though coming for a Dole This Faith though weak yet saving is Thy Faith hath made thee whole Backsliding Sinner come to Christ Do but for this Sin mourn And thou 'lt be welcome unto him Who bids repent and turn Relapsing Sinner come away And thou shalt quickly see Thy frequent Fall's no let at all To Christ's accepting thee Delaying Sinner hasten now Before the Door be shut He that says Come will make thee room Then Sinner arise up The hung'ring Soul may come to Christ And they that weary be The Poor that has no Price to pay May have him very free Debauched Sinner hasten in Cast off thy Sins and then He will be thine as well as mine Who di'd for th' worst of Men. Drunkards and Swearers stay not out If you 'l but come in now Such have been wash'd and cleansed too And coming so mayst thou Soul O I am fully now convinc'd If happy I would be I must away to Jesus Christ My Loit'ring ruines me Object But when I come the Devil calls Whither away so fast Thou canst no Entertainment have With Christ thy Time is past Thou art not one of those alas For whom he shed his Blood Nor art thou an elected one Stay here it is as good Soul Nay but I 'le try and hasten in O that I 'd gone before And if I cannot entrance have I 'le wait at Heaven's Door But yet methinks thy fierce Assaults Encouragement do give If I but go I' st be receiv'd And if I turn I' st live The dying Soul's last Farewel to All. FArewel the World I once did love I now have learn'd to live above Farewel my Friends and welcom Grave I better Friends in Heaven have Farewel dear Wife I cannot stay Christ bids me come I must away Farewel my Body made of Dust I must to him in whom I trust Farewel those Sins I left before I 'm going where I 'll sin no more And farewel Troubles at Decease In Heaven will be perfect Peace Farewel my earthly House and Lands A House I 'll have not made with Hands Farewel all Sorrows doleful Cries In Heaven are no weeping Eyes Nay farewel all my worldly Stuff A single Christ makes rich enough To let all go is surely best To enter on Eternal Rest Yet do not say that I am dead I 'm but undrest and gone to Bed I 'm gone you see yet do not cry Meet me in Heaven when you die The Welcom to Heaven God WElcom my Child to endless Bliss Heav'n joys to see thee here Fear not this is thy Father's House Taste freely Heaven's Chear When thou thy Saviour did'st accept This Jointure he thee made It 's Heaven he purchas'd for thee Accept be not afraid But why asham'd poor Soul come in Now thou' rt arriv'd above Thy Soul is cleans'd thy Sins forgot Think now of nought but Love Spread out the Cloth of richest Gold His Foot-cloth it shall be If he be drest then bring him forth He 'll keep me Company Come all that here attend my Throne Put on him best Attire Set on the Crown that will out shine The clearest Flames of Fire Well bid him welcom to the Court He 's one of Royal Birth I must be-friend him now he 's here He was my Friend on Earth He left the World whilst in the World Did show whilst he had Breath He loved me above the World Was faithful unto Death Soul A Bride a Child a Wife a Friend Ragg'd yet adorn'd so soon My Dunghil's changed for a Throne My Midnight's turn'd to Noon Vpon a Death-bed I did lie And there did toss and turn My Friends about me weeping stood But here shall never mourn A Hymn on Isaiah 8. 17. And I will wait upon the Lord that hideth his Face from the House of Jacob and I will look for him MY God 's withdrawn and hides his Face I cannot choose but mourn Yet still I 'll wait upon the Lord And look for his return Doctrine in Verse Sometimes the Lord not only hides His Face from single Saints But other whiles on this account Whole Churches make Complaints And when it 's thus bewilder'd Souls Know'ng scarce what course to take But still they 'l pray and cry and call And after God will make I 'll seek the Lord says such a Soul And still upon him wait Who hides his Face from Jacob's House He 'll come though's Coming's late A Meditation upon Matth. 11. 28 29 30. COme Sinner come thy Saviour calls If penitent thou be And truly weary of thy Sins Thou 'rt welcom Soul to me Take up my Yoke for it is light Account it always best To learn of one in whom alone Thou canst have solid Rest My Burthen's easy you will find When you have learn'd of me To have a meek and lowly Mind Try Sinner taste and see A Poetical Remembrance of the Reverend Mr. John Oaks who died suddenly being taken with an Apoplectick Fit in his Pulpit Lord's Day Decemb. 23 1688. with some Hints of Advice to surviving Relations composed and made by a true Lover of him and his G. D. HEark heark what means the mournful Looks and Cries The pensive bleeding Hearts and blubber'd Eyes The Throbs the Throws the Sighs which do appear With sad Complainings almost ev'ry where Why so much Drooping in a Halcion-Day When with loud Acclamations we should pay Rather a Tribute to our Prince and Peers Who seasonably have rescu'd us from Fears Why so much Sorrow now If needs must be Occasion'd by some Depths of Misery I sigh to tell you yet am hereto forc'd My Heart 's so full it must have vent or burst Great Oaks the famous Preacher's lately dead Had hardly time t' undress to go to Bed And he must sensless be who now forbears To speak with Sorrow or to write in Tears The Heart 's as hard as Flint that cannot weep When such a one as Oaks is fall'n asleep Sabbaths were here unto him a Delight And on that blessed Day he took his Flight From Earth to Heaven where he ever sings High Hallelujahs to the King of Kings Thô call'd from Sabbaths here he 'd not debate That one Eternal he may celebrate Thô Warning's short to go he
5 and 6 Weeks my Uncle was unwearied in his Pains for me going twice to Nottingham thrice to the D. of N. and once to Ollercarr in my behalf was very sollicitous and desirous to set me right amongst those that had aspersed me the Lord require him more than I can August 10 1685. my Uncle Lee returned from the D. of N. acquainted me the D. was much troubled for my long Confinement but could not help it that he had sent 3 several Letters to the Lord Sunderland to know the King's Pleasure about me but could receive no Answer He concluding they had nothing against me was willing he should upon his own Head and without Order set me at Liberty and if possible afterwards take advantage against him for so doing he being sensible they watc'd to take Pique against him resolved he would give no advantage Therefore by a fourth Letter acquaints the Lord Sunderland that he was resolved he would not set me at Liberty without the King's Order and desired to hear with what speed might be his Pleasure about it On August 26 1685. being at Lincoln with my Uncle Lee my Mother Disney gave me a Letter Ben. Bromhead brought from London from my Cousin W. Disney some 3 Days before he died who was executed as Printer of the Duke of M. Declaration full of earnest Desires that I would take care of his Daughter with me she being both Fatherless and Motherless The which by the Grace of God I shall do and look upon her as a Child Providence has cast upon me as my own The Letter bore Date the 26th of June 1685. had lain some time before King and Council ere it was suffered to be sent to me but blessed be God it did me no hurt August 28 1685 being Friday the D. of N. by a Servant on purpose gave me tidings of my Liberty by a Letter he sent me which he had received from the Lord Sunderland to this purpose That it was the King's Pleasure and Command that I should be set at Liberty upon such Security as his Grace thought fit And now here 's Food for Faith to feed upon a gracious return to Prayer Thus the Lord was pleased to restrain the Hands of wicked Enemies that had threatned me Ill and to influence the Hearts of great Men to do me Good I have experienced with the Psalmist Psal 31. 13. For I have heard the Slander of many fear was on every side whilst they took counsel together against me they devised to take away my Life yet I have seen the Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living And have good encouragement with holy David to say At what time I am afraid I will trust in the Lord. My Uncle Lee and I then went to the D. of N. where the D. receiv'd me very kindly and told me though he had nothing at all against me yet being the King's Letter to him had mentioned a Bail he would advise me to enter into Bonds for the good Behaviour my self in 2000 l. and my 2 Sureties in 1000 l. a Man This I declined very much yet at the Duke's importunity after I had taken some time to consider on it I very unwillingly granted to endeavour it and indeed I must say a great many I found very ready to serve me in the Thing But the D. himself having named to me my Uncle Clay for one and my Uncle Lee having offered himself for another I concluded upon them and to that purpose desired my Uncle Lee to speak to my Uncle Clay he being just then going to Southwell which he did but sent me word by my Man who went with him that my Uncle Clay positively refus'd me but as I have since heard and do believe it 't was not in Unkindness for he acquainted the D. of N. he did not think me in earnest in that Request another made having neither Letter nor Message from me about it but my Cousin Low his Son-in-law did very chearfully accept of piece of service for me We all three accordingly went to the D. of N. to enter into Bond but the Duke declaring some great Pique against my Cousin Low fell into a Passion and declared he would not take Low's Bond for a Groat and since Clay would not Lee should not be Bail for me but I must get two others This prov'd a good Providence for meeting with this Cross I took heart to send the Duke word that I having no ways appear'd against King or Government nor any ways misbehaved my self did think it very hard thus to be call'd to enter into Bond for the Good-Behaviour The Duke return'd by Letter this Answer to me That since I had declined entring into Bonds he had by Letter acquainted the King that no Body came in against me that I was unwilling to enter into Bonds being no ways guilty and left it to his Majesty's further Pleasure only bad me remember he had mine and my Uncle Lee's Promise to come to him if sent for And thus through Mercy I have escaped those ensnaring Bonds having heard nothing from the D. of N. to this 15th of December 1685 being almost four Months and I trust I may not August 31 1685 This Day I returned and my Wife and Mr. Coats and his Wife to Ollercarr Upon the 6th of September 1685 we enjoy'd a very comfortable Opportunity being the Sabbath-Day good Mr. Coats preached a Congratulatory Sermon for the Lord's Goodness towards us in bringing us together again who had so long been separated one from another he preaching from those words Psal 116. 12. What shall I render unto the Lord for all his Benefits towards me and rais'd this Doctrine That gracious Souls have and ought to have such a Sense of Divine Favours as to be extraordinarily carried forth in Love and Thankfulness to God for them In the Application he told us We might take some Measures of the Greatness of the Mercy of Deliverance God had wrought for us by considering the Greatness of those Troubles and the Perplexity of the Condition we were most of us in says he Was it not sad for a Family once so united not only in Affection but in a sweet and delightful Society to be shattered and broken all to pieces Was 't not sad that a House should ring with Oaths and Curses that for some time before had no such Language to be heard in it Was 't not sad that a Family should be quite left and forsaken of those sweet and comfortable Sabbaths it had some time enjoy'd in great security In a word Was 't not sad that we who had so often join'd together in Family-worship as Reading Praying and Praising God should be so separated one from another that we could not assemble together for such Worship without apparent Hazard nay some of us cast into such Places where there was no Worship of God to be join'd in Here was our Misery God give us all a lively Sense of Divine