hart stirreth it selfe like vnto one walking with his nose lifted vp into the weather who through his retchlesnesse falleth into the botrome of a well hauing forthwith thereby beene amazed is incontinent void of iudgement falleth out with himselfe and tormenteth himselfe vntill such time as being come againe to his wits he knoweth both the place wherein he is and vnderstandeth the maner how he fell in and then beginneth by little and little to get vp againe vnto the top thereof and yet is scarslie able to note and marke the place whence he so easily fell 5 And so hauing called to minde as farre as I possibly could the memorie of things past hauing set before me in a deepe meditation the workes of thine hands and hauing exactly considered the perfection thereof yea and remembring the estate wherein thou hast created vs and besides setting before me him by whome I feele my selfe now as it were oppressed vnder the destruction of sinne I cursed in my self the houre wherein my mother conceiued me I abhorred the day which first opened vnto me mine eye lids whereby I might see heauen and earth witnesses of mine infirmitie and in the end finding nothing in the world that in this distresse might comfort and helpe me I at last addressed my selfe vnto thy most excellent maiestie 6 I fell on both my knees before thee I stretched out mine armes and hands vnto thee and my soule thirsting for thy grace waited with a great desire for the same as the chapping ground through heat looketh for a gratious and sweet showre in the hoatest daies of sommer 7 Make hast therefore vnto me O my God for I am already out of breath for loe mine heart fainteth and I am at the point of swound wilt thou stay vntill I be dead I am already so if thou make not hast for my sences do by little and little faile me my soule glideth gentlie out of me leauing my body without moouing and I am like vnto him who letting his foote bleede in the water looseth his life with his bloud without feeling the occasion or cause of his death 8 If thou O Lord holdest thy selfe aloofe from me and turnest thy face away I shall become like vnto those that go downe into the bottom of hell pale death will make my face looke wanne and my feeling to sleepe nay a worse thing then this will betide me my God for spirituall death will kill my soule make it horribly a feard and take from her the acknowledgement of thy singular goodnesse and the hope of grace which shineth in thy miracles as a bright shining starre in a duke night 9 Make me therefore O Lord in thy good time to vnderstand and feele the effect of thy mercy and when the sunne riseth in the morning vpon the face of the earth let then thy louing kindnesse rise vpon me for the enlightening of mine ignorance and leade me in the way of thy wyll But let it not deale with me O Lord as the sunne dooth who at his fall plungeth him selfe into the sea keeping away his light for a time from poore wretched and distressed men But let thy fauour and grace continually assist and defend mee and neuer depart more from me then my soule doth from my body for thy mercy is farre away more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my bodie 10 And therefore let thy mercie neuer forsake me but let her light direct my footsteps alwayes in thy wayes and leade me continually in the way which must bring me vnto thee For my spirit which hath run it self through the strange queaches of this world and strayed into the broad and thicke bushes thereof can neuer find out her tract againe but rusheth out at all aduentures and loseth both her path and also her payne going alwayes back from the abiding place whither she was determined to goe But I my God do alwayes attend thine ayd for it is from aboue that I looke for help 11 I am a captiue in the hands of the most cruell enemies of my life and therefore I most humbly beseech thee ô Lord to make haste to deliuer me I flye vnto thee for refuge receiue mee into thy protection Teach mee what thou wouldest haue me to do for thou art my God whome alone I am resolued now to serue And now away away from me deceitfull pleasure which heretofore hast bewitched my poore soule and poysoned my spirit thou hast with thy sweet delights fed me and made me with a little bait of hony to swallow a deadly potion which running through my members hath so astonished and mortified me as that there is no differēce betweene me and a dead man nay worse then that for it is not my body that is thus mortified but it is my soule wherin cōsisteth the principall matter both of this present life and also of the life to come 12 And therfore thy holy spirit must light vpon me to rewarme and fetch againe my dying soule and take it by the hand to quicken and set it in a safe place imprinting therein the image of thy righeuousnesse to serue her as a sauegard against all tentations which besiege her on euery side and threaten her destruction 13 Thou shalt come therefore and at thy comming shalt draw back my soule from tribulation and in shewing of me mercy shalt destroy all those that haue coniured against me And then shall my sorrow haue an end and theirs shall begin and the beginning of their sorrow shall neuer cease But as the streames comming out of the spring heads do still growe larger and larger vntill such time as they enter into the deepe Seas where is neyther brinke nor bottome euen so shall theyr miserie day by day encrease and in the end will heape vppon them extreame dolour and infinite distresse 14 And so shall all they perish which shall vexe my soule for I ô God am thy faithfull seruant whome thou hast remembred and wilt remember all those who in disdayne of my Lord haue thus shamelesly troubled mee They laughed at my miseries but now behold the season wherein they shall bewayle theirs Thy vengeance beginneth to waxe hoat against them and a man shall see them fall like vnto the leaues of trees in the beginning of winter O God what glorie shall I render vnto thy name and at what end shall I begin to set foorth thy prayse Shall I publish thy goodnesse in creating so many wonderfull works which are vnder the Sunne Thy wisdome in the conseruing of them Shall I preach abroad thy iustice in the condemnation and vengeance of the pride of the Angels the disobedience of men Shall I sing foorth thy mercy in the redeeming of those who by transgressing thy lawes haue cast them-selues downe headlong into the bondage of eternall death vnto what part of thy prayses may the sound tune of my voyce attaine reach Yea put the case that my voyce were
side of me but sinne which inuironeth me round about and mine iniquities which presse and ouer throwe me They lye heaped vpon my head as a very heauy burden and loe how ready they are to throttle and strangle me 5 How shall I be euer able to resist them What strength haue I to defend me from them seeing that my body is ready to fall in peeces The very filthinesse of them flowe on euery side me my vlcers and sores are no sooner closed vp but that they breake out againe and if my body be ill can my soule be well Must not she be altogether ashamed and tremble with horror and feare 6 After the same maner that a disease vndermineth my body maketh it stoope to death sorrow vndermineth my soule bereaueth her of her strength and as great cold congealeth in the bud the tender blossom withereth drieth it vp euen so dooth the finger of the Lord which hath touched my soule cause it to languish and to be out of heart 7 But alas my God what courage can I haue when as I see my selfe thus couered ouer with wounds and no part of my body free from paine and ouer and besides this my miserie the remembrance of my dissolute pleasures is still before my face and reproch me with my sinne laugh at my vanitie Then say I thus vnto my selfe must I season my life with the honie of so many delights and afterward kneade them with the gall of so bitter anguishes Where now art thou ô thou deceitfull voluptuousnesse which drownest my soule in the sweet licour of thy pleasures Oh what drinke is that that thou leauest me 8 Haue not I ô Lord endured enough hath not mine humilitie sufficiently chastized mine arrogancie If I haue through fond presumption sinned alas I haue sithence that crept vpon the earth I haue couered mine head with ashes and with mine arme haue I preuented my payne I haue cut through mine heart with crying out I haue drowned mine eyes in teares and yet thine anger continueth still 9 Is it of set purpose ô Lord that thou hast not perceiued my teares Is it thou I say who with the twinkle of thine eye trauersest both heauen and earth euen thou I meane whose sight goeth beyond the depth of our harts It is thou ô Lord that hast read euen my very thoughts and knowne mine intent What haue I desired but thy mercie Wherin haue I trusted but in thy goodnes Why haue I made open profession of repentance but to condemne my selfe If my toong hath not throughly expressed my minde and caused my desier to be vnderstood alas ô Lord thou knowest what we would haue before we once thinke of it It is enough for vs to lift vp our harts vnto thee and thou forthwith grauntest our petitions 10 Why stayest thou ô Lord so long before thou geuest me that holie coÌ„solation which thou hast promised me I am quite spent my hart is gone my senses are troubled my streÌ„gth faileth my sight waxeth dim my soule is vpoÌ„ the shore of my lips ready to fly away 11 All my friends are now about me bewailing my death they are out of all hope of my health they dreame of nothing but of my funerall saying where is now that help which he looked for to come froÌ„ his God where is his fauour which he so promised to himselfe 12 The flatterers are gon away from me they thought to haue parted my goods they meant to haue preuented my fatall houre I am noisome to the whole world in the case that I now staÌ„d 13 They whisper in mine eare and tell me a thousand tales They dayly bring me in new acquaintances and thinke of nothing but to betray me He lieth say they on his death-bed and will neuer rise vp aliue againe What do we feare that the shadowe of his bones will bite vs 14 And I as if I had bin deafe made shew that I heard them nor and as if I had bin dumb spake not one word vnto them for my patieÌ„ce was my buckler and my constancy my rampart 15 And euery man seing me so patieÌ„t said surely this man is dumb for when he is touched he saith not a word would he abide all these indignities if he had any feeling of his honor and credit or yet the least courage in the world And therefore it may well be said that he is very guilty for an innocent man is alwayes bold in his owne defence And yet all this could neuer â—oue mee 16 And why so verely because I trusted in my God and fully assured my selfe that he would assist me For although the whole world banded against me and heauen and earth coniured my ruine and ouerthrow yet if he be mine ayder and defendor I am sure alwayes to conquer For with the breath of his mouth hee made all things and in breathing againe vpon them he will destroy them all if it please him and therefore I will fight vnder his cloth and liuerie because I shall be sure to haue the victorie 17 I haue sayd vnto them many times Reioyce not at my miserie and although I be neuer so much tormented and afflicted yet braue not your selues vpon me for the hand of the Lord is able euen to reach you and therefore trust not his patience ouer much for as his feet are of wooll so are his armes also of iron For if he once lay them vpon your heads ô ye impotent soules he will so crush you together as that a man would thinke that you had neuer bene 18 And I haue taken the rods in my hand and imprinted with them vpon my shoulders the condemnation of my sinne I haue appeared before thee ô Lord with weeping teares with repentance in my mouth and with a sorrowfull hart and haue fought with my selfe that mine enemie might not triumph ouer me 19 I haue openly confessed my fault I haue in an happie houre shewed foorth my sinne and I had great care to runne vnto thy mercy whilst time and season serued 20 But the more I humble my selfe before thee to drawe the running water out of this founraine of thy grace which floweth from thy goodnes the more mine enemies glut me and deale cruelly and butcherlike with me their troupe dayly encreaseth and ioyne them selues together on euery side neuer foreseeing the tempest that will shake them in a thousand pecces They through their pride blow the hote burning coles of thine ire they despite thy power which they will too too soone make try all of to their great destruction To be short in setting most confidently their brasen faces against heauen and earth they wallow and welter them selues in their filthie pleasures and blot out as much as in them lye the mark of the deitie which thou hast sealed in their soules close vp their eyes against the hope of saluatioÌ„ which shineth brightly in thy word 21 I cease not ô Lord to admonish them of
neuerthelesse because your voyce is abhominable before God and that with your threats ye blaspheme him vnto his face he will vtterly roote ye out and throw vpon you the mountaines which your ambition and couetousnesse haue heaped vp so hye thinking thereby to scale his Throne and to rob him of his glory 5 O Lord what a spectacle hast thou made for mine eyes to behold nay I am now so assured of thy mercie so comforted by reason of the care which I see thou hast of thy faithfull seruants as that although I should see the greatest armye that possibly could be yet would I not be afeard of it Let there an armye be brought against me composed of all the nations of the world and let there be placed in the vauntgard on the right hand a battell of Scythians and on the left hand a battell of Ethiopians and in the reregard the East India and America and all the rest of the world in the middest to serue for a battell and adde thereunto whatsoeuer Arte and skill for the killing of men was â—uer able to finde out or deuise aâ—… yet if my God be my conductor aâ—… leader I will passe through them 〈◊〉 without any feare Agayne if he bee angry with the world and shaâ— like him to serue him-selfe with 〈◊〉 hands to be aduenged of them fâ—… theyr vngodlynesse I my selfe 〈◊〉 cut them all in peeces not leauing so much as a tayle of any 〈◊〉 them 6 Nay I do now reioyce when 〈◊〉 I heare saye that the wicked baâ—… them-selues against mee and doo assure my selfe that it is God which â—…lend me matter wherein to glorie For be thou O Lord onely neeâ—… mee blesse my weapons and mine enemies are confounded But what weapons verely do thou but blowe onely vppon this people and thoâ— shalt scatter them all as a great winde driueth the dust too and fro neuerthelesse O Lord I beseech thee bloâ—… not vppon them the wind and blast 〈◊〉 thy curse but tarrie a little while 〈◊〉 thou please to see if thy patience will bring them backe to do their duties And as for my selfe although I â—e couered ouer with their wounds and defamed with their iniurious deaâ—ings yet had I rather haue them subâ—ect vnto thy mercie then vnto thy â—ustice and desire if thou thinke it good that their iniustice might rather â—erue to try me withall then for their condemnation 7 Thou knowest O Lord my desires thou readest them in mine hart neither haue I euer called vppon thee â—or vengeance my vowes coniure nothing but thy mercie and my thoughts â—re addressed vnto nothing but vnto â—eace Wouldest thou vnderstand the â—umme of my desires and the end of â—ll my prayers it is O Lord that I â—ay passe my dayes in seruing thee faithfully and that thou wouldest graunt me thine holie house to dwell â—…n and that all the while that I am â—eperated from thee and a great â—ay off from thine heauenly Taberâ—acle tyed vnto the earth by reason of the counterpoise of my boâ—ye I might vnite and tye all my â—houghtes vnto thee and conforme â—nd frame my selfe wholy vnto thy will O blessed habitation that is able to couer vs from all worthly passions from all the lusts of the flesh and to be short from all the assaults of the Deuill For there ô Lord thou art present with vs and commâ—… downe from the heauens to keepe companie with vs and fillest vs with thy selfe that we might be voyd oâ— sinne and conuertest our carnall 〈◊〉 into a liuing and quickning spirit that we might effectually feele thy maruellous works comprehend thy mercies and conceiue of thy power and almightinesse 8 Suffer therefore my God thaâ— I being incorporate into thee 〈◊〉 farre-forth as mine infirmitie aâ—… thine infinitenesse will permit I may be enlightened with the beames of thy wisedome to the end that mine vnderstanding being enlightened 〈◊〉 may learne mee to knowe thy wiâ—… For this is the thread ô Lord which may assuredly guide me through the windings and turnings of the laberinth of this world and this is the passeport which must bring vs vnto that euerlasting life which we so incessantly gape and sigh for Reueale vnto me therefore this thy will and lay it vp in my soule that I may there keepe it most dearely and in the middest of thy Church I may set vp an Aulter in my mouth presenting the same dayly vnto thee for an offering vnder the holie vayle of thy most holie word 9 For seeing ô Lord thou hast morâ—…ized mee within thy holie Tabernacle shewing me the holie mysteries of thy diuinitie that in the hardest time of mine aduersitie thou hast gathered hid and drawne me vnder thine Aulter yet not content with that hast made me to enter into â—…e holie of holiest and bottomes of â—…y Sanctuarie where thou wast wont â—o reueale the greatest secrets of thy will graunt that I may so well coâ—â—eiue them as that I may cause thy faithfull seruants faithfully to vnderstand them 10 For sith thou hast aduaunced mee into so eminent and high 〈◊〉 place as one set vpon an hye rocke â—o be seene of the whole world and â—onored aboue all mine enemies let the foundation of my faith be aâ— firme as any stone and the grâ—… which thou shalt bestow vpon me 〈◊〉 be a testimonie of thy righteousneâ—… making me worthie and capable of 〈◊〉 benefits which it shall please thee 〈◊〉 vouchsafe me 11 As for my selfe O Lord I 〈◊〉 take paines reueâ—entlie to vse tâ—… ministerie which thou hast commâ—ted vnto mee Thou knowest how 〈◊〉 haue carried my selfe therein I haâ—… turned my selfe euery way reknoâ—ledge that which might best like thâ—… I haue most willingly offred vnto thâ—… calues and sheepe in sacrifice I haâ—… willingly bathed thine Aulter wiâ—… bloud but that was too too small an â—…fring for thee I haue ô Lord sacriâ—…ced mine hart consecrated mine affeâ—tion vowed my thoughts and hauing pluckt them from the verie bottom 〈◊〉 mine heart I haue offered them vâ—… thee with my voyce whereby thou hâ—… vnderstood whatsoeuer my soule haâ—… desired which was nothing else but 〈◊〉 please thee in all mine actions My crying out then hath bene my offring which thou diddest gratiously accepâ— opening the heauens to gather them together and to receiue them And therefore ô Lord I will all the dayes of my life sing thy prayse and recite an Hymne of thy glorie 12 Heare ô mercifull God my songs and receiue in good part the voyce which testifieth thy goodnesse and publisheth thy mercies Encrease my strength and courage that I may strayne my cryes and spirits to thee And sith thy mercie is neuer deafe vnto those which sincerely call vppon thee encline the same to me for all sorts of felicities follow her continually Incline the same I say ô Lord for thou hast promised it vnto all those that call vpon thee 13 How often hast thou heard mine heart I say mine heart and â—ot my mouth for I
speake not vnâ—o thee but with mine heart which â—ryeth our saying vnto thee O Lord why haue I sought thee so carefully â—ay and night both in peace and warre in quietnesse and in trouble 〈◊〉 haue desired nothing in the world â—ut to see thy face I meane nor O Lord thy diuine face wherein is imprinted that fearefull Maiestie which shineth as the lightning which no mans eye is able to abide to behold but that face at the least which is couered and courtayned with thy workes which although no man is able to see but the verie hinder parts thereof and that verie hardly also yet me thinketh it to be most wonderfull and maketh me beside my selfe as it were Sith then O Lord 〈◊〉 thou be that increated word which hath created al things which doth paâ—… of thy will and thy will a part of thy selfe doth it not represent it selfe vnto me as thy face for me to note maâ—… therein such a great number of beaâ—tifull and excellent lineaments of Diuinitie which shine most brightly in euery part thereof O Lord I am in loue with this rare beautie neyther haue I any other care thought but that I may enioy this thy presence which offreth it selfe vnto 〈◊〉 in thy word as in a looking glasse of thy Deitie 14 Seeing then that thou seeâ— mine holie and sincere loue depriue me not then of this holie obiect which sanctifieth and blesseth my cogitations and thoughts And although my sinnes which are most foule and filthie make thee to be displeased with me yet I most humbly beseech thee not to be angry with me neither turne thou away this thy faire and wonderfull face from me For thou O Lord art angry with none but with such as glorie in their sinnes and stubburnely persist in their iniquities But I thy seruant my God humble my selfe before thee and do acknowledge most vnworthie sinner that I am not once to dare appeare in thy presence if thy louing kindnesse did not bring me in vnto thee And therfore thou art not to reiect me for if thou shouldest thou must also therewith reiect thy mercie whereunto I am coupled and so fast linked as that as it cannot be seperated from thee so is it also now fast linked vnto my repentance 15 And therefore thou shouldest if it might so please thee dwell and remayne with me and seeing it hath liked thee to allow me for thy seruant and to thrust me into this combat thou art not to leaue and forsake me in it for if thou shouldest my destruction would turne to thy shame where on the other side my victorie will turne to thy glorie And therefore O Lord I beseech thee to help me euermore For as mine infirmitie striueth commonly against me so also haue I need to haue continuall help on euery side of me For if thou keepe thy selfe neuer so little awhile from me my soule will euen vanish away and so will also my bodie if my soule be once gone For thou O Lord art farre away more the soule of my soule then my soule is the soule of my bodie I right well knowe that thy Diuine Maiestie hath a most vnworthie dwelling place in mee but yet I humblie beseech thee disdaine nor to come into it for where thou once entrest all magnificence aboundeth and there is alwayes honor sufficient where thou art And besides O Lord thou receyuest no honor by comming to visit me but I thy poore seruant am honored by thy presence Why shouldest thou leaue the glorious bright Heauens and bright shining Starres and to come downe heere belowe to seeke for nothing that can bee sayd to bee honorable But it is as I thinke because thou wouldest haue thine Angelles knowe and vnderstand that they ought not to pride vp themselues in theyr magnificence seeing they are thy creatures and that thou canst make the most vile enhabitant on the earth as honorable as any one of them This is it why thou commest downe from the heauen of heauens to haue mercie vppon vs and hauing the like feeling of our miseries thou commest to reestablish vs in our auncient perfection And because that wee as much as in vs lyeth haue defaced the image of the Deitie which thou haddest imprinted in vs thou commest to recharge and recouer the liniaments of our first nature halfe defaced It is thou then who as thou wast our Creator so also wilt be our Redeemer and as thou hast beene our Father so also wilt be our protector and defender And it is thou O Lord who although the whole world hath reiected vs yet hast stretched out thine armes and gathered vs together vnder the wing of thy louing kindnesse 16 And so is it most meet for I knowe not whither else to goe My Father and my Mother haue forsaken mee I meane the Father that begot mee and my Mother that tenderly nursed me and brought me vp did abhorre mee when as they sawe mee set my whole hart vpon thee and leaue the vanities of this world They neuer looked on me but with griefe and held me but for a castaway My brethrens making much of me turned into disdaine the kinde and sweet amitie of my sisters chaunged into contempt and the gratious meetings of my deerest friends were turned into mockerie Whither then must I flye If my dearest friends entreate me after this sort what will mine enemies doo vnto me whose mouthes are full of gall and their tongs full of deadly poyson whose ordinarie actions and exercises are nothing else but doing of wrong and speaking contumeliously But euen then when I am most geuen ouer then art thou neerest vnto me embrasest me most fauourably and powrest vpon my head the treasures of thy mercie most largely 17 Now seeing it hath pleased thee thus to enlarge thy grace towards me that I might be conserued teach me I beseech thee how I may serue thee Learne me what thy law is and how I must direct my steps that I may continually walke a right in that narrow and thornie path which must conduct me vnto the port of saluation For it is long sit hence O Lord that I left that broad and easie way sowed with the pleasures of this world and which bringeth all those that follow the same vnto destruction damnation Shew me therefore my God thy way for vnder such a guide I can neuer stray shew it me O Lord I say for if I go neuer so little out of it I am vtterly vndone mine enemies lie in waite to surprise me and to make me subiect to dishonour me and so consequently thy selfe O Lord because they know that I serue thee faithfully 18 Deliuer me not therefore into their hands that they may deale with me according to their hearts desire For then were mine honour at an end They haue already made strong their part suggested a thousand accusations and framed a world of witnesses but their leasings haue returned vpon their owne heads and borne witnesse
against themselues for lying cannot be hid she is full of crackes on euery side truth pierceth it on euery part For she is made of many odde peeces which fall away one from another assoone as they are touched and in opposing her selfe vnto innocencie she melteth away as snowe against the Sunne 19 But although they had me euen as themselues would wish oppressed with slaunders quelled vnder the burthen of their iniuries yet would I not for all that be discouraged I haue not O Lord put my trust in the benefits and honours of this world for that is almost alwaies the portion of the wicked and are as it were the rewards of their vnfaithfulnesse dissimulations and wicked dealings this is the marchandise which most commonly is not bought but with this money My hope O Lord is altogether in thee the world is not capable to be able to containe it the fruite of my labours groweth not in the land of the dying but that which I looke to gather together O Lord is in the land of the liuing there is that I hope to see my felicitie nay rather thine my God Others looke for the fruite after the budding and blooming time but I O Lord looke for it after the fall of the leafe For after the leafe of the body shal be fallen I hope and trust that my soule shall bud in new fruit be clothed againe with the euerlasting verdure of immortalitie for euer 20 And therefore my soule haue patience and carry thy selfe man-like redouble thy courage valiantly and attend vntill my God commeth vnto thee Be not astonied or affeard to see the prosperitie of the wicked neither be thou amazed to see them oppresse the godly but stand to it to the end And when thou seest O Lord that I am not of my self strong inough assist me and lend me thy shoulders for feare the afflictions of the wicked cause mee to depart from my stand where thou hast placed me second my feruentnesse and zeale that hauing couragiously fought at the place where mine enemies assaulted me I may be found at the gate when thou openest it to enter with thee in triumph sitting at thy feet when as thou shalt iudge both the quick the dead Then shall we see what a great change there is betweene our life and theirs and what paiment tarrieth for them they haue had their felicitie in this world therefore then shall it be said vnto them Stand aside for yee owe the rest and consider that yee shall render an accoumpt of those benefits which were giuen you to keepe and be amerced for your abusing of them Your habitation prepared for you as you deserue depart into euerlasting paines and torments yee haue beene many times told of the rigour thereof yet haue you not so much as a very little turned away from your cursed liues therfore shall ye now feele it seeing you would not as then any whit feare it And as for those ô Lord which haue bene pacient for thy names sake and suffered for thine honor the rage of the wicked thou shalt say vnto thē Come yee blessed children of my father enter into the Tabernacle of glorie that yee may iudge with him both the quick and the dead Comfort thy selfe now therefore my soule with this expectation and hope trust in God euen in the almightie and most merciful God who neuer forsooke the iust in aduersitie nor stopped his eare against the oppressed innocent I will at all times blesse the Lord c. Psalme 34. 1 BLessed be thy name ô Lord which hast cōforted me in misery blessed be he for euer that hath holpen me in mine affliction All things haue their time and all mens actions are distributed by times and seasons change serueth for rest and rest for the refreshing of the ordinary labour of the liuing neither can any thing continue without rest in any occupation and trade Neuerthelesse here in this rule faileth that is I do blesse and for euer will blesse thy name O Lord at the sunne rising I wil praise thy name and at his going downe I will praise the same at that will I begin both moneths and yeares and at that also will I end them O eternitie I haue no feeling of thee in this world but in this my will to praise and glorifie my God for euer My body melteth away with age and my forces vanish and decay but my soule which stoutly standeth against humaine corruption dooth not onely continue but also dayly encreaseth in this holy affection For if I thinke to take my rest mine heart stirreth my thought And if I thinke to stop my mouth my soule is ready to breake out betweene my lippes and forceably frameth my voice to set foorth the glorie and praise of my God My soule who maketh thee so eager to praise thy God Thou knowest right well and I also see it very well that thou hast had thy being from him and lookest by him to be glorified what vsurie makest thou with him Thou giuest vnto him a parcell of his praises and by this meanes thou lookest that he should associate thee with the riches of his glory For from him alone thou must hope to haue some honor The heauens shall passe and weare away like an old garment and be changed as men change a couering But God shall continue still triumphing ouer the destruction of the world The peaceable and meeke people shall sit by him and heare the triumphant hymnes which shall be song in his victorie and conquests and all full of melodie and reioicing shall ioyne their voices vnto the trumpets of the angels 2 Let vs begin therefore betime to learne to sing the praises of his glorie magnifie him and exalt his name as high as our voices will serue vs let vs straine out our cries to the end they may ascend as high at the least as we are able to see so as the ayre being filled with our songs it may cary them vpon the wings of the winds vnto the vttermost parts of the earth to the end that euery one may be awakened with the sound of our notes and reioyce in hearing the name of the Lord of heauen and earth thus sounded out who is the most faithfull and most assured helper of all those which call vpon him 3 I haue fought after him and he forthwith hath vnderstood me I knew not my selfe whither to go and after I had turned mine eyes on euery side and being forsaken of the world could see nothing which was able to helpe me I returned into my selfe and pitifully beheld my selfe bewailing my calamitie and all at once he gaue me courage and strength making mine heart to leape our of the gulfe of heauinesse and tribulation which had swallowed me vp said vnto me trust in me for loe here I am Then cried I out and said O Lord where art thou make hast to helpe me quickly And I had no sooner spoken but
the rest Ye shall see them hale and pull against death and draw their ritches with them euen vnto the graues but death will set them vpon their fingers ends and cause them to leaue them euen when they haue gotten them They that are halfe dead shall goe about to lift vp a little their eye lids to â—ee if they can find their treasure at â—he wykes of their eyes but in the end â—hey must be packing they must leaue â—his worldly pomp because a mightie power hath pluckt them away But â—nto whome shall they leaue this preparation furniture forsooth it may â—e vnto a stranger whome they neuer â—…ew or euer yet once dreamed of â—ho shall bath and blesse him selfe in â—he sweate of this miserable ritch cayâ—ife churle who shall haue no more â—eft him for his portion but a graue of â—…teene or twentie soot long at the â—ost and this shall be his house for eâ—er wherein let him keepe him selfe if â—e will 11 What is become then of these â—raue waynscotted palaces these guilt â—autes these beautifull ranks of choyse â—illers these so faire curled marbles â—hese emblemes sentences engrauen 〈◊〉 brasse and all the rest of these wonâ—ers of vanitie What is nothing of â—ll this left for him he had established â—is lands and possessions from race to â—…e from generation to generation â—…d called his houses by his owne name surely this must needs be 〈◊〉 great man 12 Alasse poore man for when hâ— was in honor he knew not himselfe neither had he any knowledge he sâ— caried himself as that he is brought tâ— be of the number of the bruite beasâ—… made like vnto Asses horses whâ— haue neither wit nor iudgement For what greater honor could he desire 〈◊〉 wish to haue then to be made and formed vnto the fashion of the Deity aâ—… to be placed amoÌ„gst the works of Goâ— there to command as his lieutenant he was not as it were lesse then Aâ—…gels had a spirit to comprehend thâ— greatest wonders of the Deity but bâ— flying from the day and light of knoâ—…ledge he hid himselfe in the dens aâ— caues of ignorance blockishnes aâ— remained therein all his life long haâ—…ching there I know not what misâ—…rable ritches was found in the eâ—… to become like vnto the bruite beastâ— for as they neuer neigh bray but â—…ter otes and neuer trauell but for pâ—…sture euen so this man neuer bestirâ—… him selfe but about the getting of nâ—…cessarie things for the bodie nay 〈◊〉 did worse then so for he could not prouide and vse for the entertayning of him selfe the goods which he so eagerly coueted but became therein farre worse then all the rest of the beasts of the field whose vnruly appetites were satisfied with the vse of those things which they desired 13 O what an infamie and offence are the liues of such kinde of men who are so shamelesly brutished What remayneth then more for them both here in this world and in the world to come but shame in this and payne and torment in the other And besides let them runne on in delighting them selues in their vayne discourses and priding of themselues in their ritches Let them now a little remember the speeches which they haue whereby they seeme to esteeme of none but of them selues and their money making no better accompt of all other men then of the rushes vnder their feet 14 Thus we see how they draw them selues vnto hell eueÌ„ as sheep led to the Shambles death is come who hath deuoured them and nothing left of them but their pitifull bare bones which canker and are worme-eaten in the graue 15 And loe the iust man who patiently endured their insolencie his time is now come to reigne and is at ease he is vp by the breake of the day and after hee hath geuen thanks to God he goeth to see if he can finde the place where one of these miserable caytifs dwelt and where he is placed for insulting brauing and tyrannizing of the whole world and sayth a part vnto him selfe Thanked be God for cleansing the earth of such off-scouring and placing such as blesse his name For this wicked churle with all his glorie is become rotten and puttified He is now in torment and there is not one to help him and so let him remayne there hardly for death is a passage for him neuer to returne 16 And as for me ô Lord I right well know that I must dye for the sin of our first parent hath bound vs to pay that debt it is the reward for his disobedience we must go againe into the earth and returne from whence we came Neuerthelesse ô Lord thou shalt redeeme me from death and deliuer me from the hand of hell when it would lay hold on me Thou wilt not suffer me to go downe all below but wilt deliuer me eueÌ„ at the very mouth thereof and be contented that I acknowledge it without suffering the punishment of my deserued thraldome and captiuitie But what shall be the price of my redemption shall it be the goods and possessions of the earth and the aboundance of gold and siluer No ô Lord for hell is full thereof it maketh no reckning of this geaâ—e for thou thy selfe shalt be the price of my redemption thou shalt deliuer thine owne body to death that my soule might be deliuered from hell Thou shalt put vpon thee and cloth thee with the dolors of the dead that I might be clothed with the ioyes of immortalitie And therefore I will not from henceforth my God haue any other ritches but thee and in possessing thee I shall possesse the whole world and in louing thee I shall be in thee thou in mee and thou being there shalt bring thither all the goods strength and glorie of the world and fill me full with other manner of ritches then the ritches of these miserable carles which will not acknowledge thee for their ritches are but the fruite of their sinne which shall perish with their sinne 17 No maÌ„ ought to be abashed to see them all at once suddainly enriched ne yet to esteeme theÌ„ to be any whit the happier therby for although the false honor which they so greedily hunt after exceedeth excelleth and are filled with this vaine and vanishing glorie which carieth with it but a glorious glittering outward shew yet must we not be in an admiration thereat much lesse enuie the same 18 For although they shall at any time haue kissed the earth and put on the round compasse thereof yet shall they carry away nothing of it with theÌ„ saue their winding sheet nothing shall follow them but their shadow and yet I beleeue that it will also leaue them for the very selfe-same day which maketh the shadow will forsake them and they shall want the ordinary light and in stead of these magnificeÌ„ces pomps and swelling ostentations wherewith they make little children afeard shall wrap them vp
about O how wonderfull great is thy mercy which blindfoldeth the eyes of thy Deitie which hideth from thee that euery one seeth and maketh thee forget that which thou knewest before such time as it was done 13 From whence ô Lord commeth this great change and alteration in thee whence commeth it that to do me fauour thou puttest so farre from thee thy iustice which is naturally in thee I wonder but yet cannot I tell from whence this thy so great clemency and louing kindnesse proceedeth It is yea it is ô Lord because thou wilt saue vs whether we wil or no and to draw vs as it were by force out of that condemnation which we most iustly haue deserued For thou art the God of glory iealous of honour and praise for thou art alone worthy therof Thou knowest right well that very hell shall praise thee and thou knowest also ô Lord that death it selfe shall set forth thy praise Seeing that thou hast created all things to testifie thine infinite goodnesse and power shall death which is one of thy works make an end of thy praise Yea and seeing thou hast here placed man to lift vp his eyes vnto heauen and to behold thy glory and to sing both with the heart and mouth a continually hymne therof and if thou take away his life is not that a breache of one of the organes of thine honour And if thou send him to hell is not that to defame thy workmanship Thou hast ô Lord sowne by the mouthes of thy Prophets the truth of thy promises Shall they that are pent vp in the earth gather together the fruite thereof shall they whome the death of the body hath closed vp the eye liddes and whome the death of the soule engendred through their impenitence hath sealed vp the eyes of the spirit making them go groping to hell wandring and stumbling from paine to paine and from torment to torment No no it shall be the liuing man that shall publish and set forth thy praise the man I say that liueth and that liuing life which is maintained by those blessings which thou bestowest vpon vs here on the earth and that life which is nourished by the beholding of thy Deitie and by the blessings which thou hast laide vppe in heauen Euen so O Lorde do I at this day with them seeing it hath pleased thee to conuert my miseries into grace and blessing and to turne away from me death and dolors which brought them vnto mee Mine infirmitie is at this day seeing it so pleaseth thee an argument of thy glory thou workest such miracles in me as are able to astonish an whole world To the end ô Lord that the fathers may tell vnto their children what the effects of thy mercies are how sure the effect of thy promises and how vndoubted the truth of thy word And so wâ—…soeuer the lasâ— and hindermost posteritie shall vnderstand what hath be fallen vnto my person it will praise and blesse thy holy name 15 Seeing then my God that â—hou hast assured me this life I meane this earthly and corporall life graunt me also assurance of this heauenly and diuine life to the end that I being most full of all hope and strength may passe the rest of my daies in praising and seruing of thee continually Mine aboade ô Lorde shall be alwaies at the feete of thine aulâ—eâ—s mine action shall â—ee a song of thy praise and goodnesse and so will goe day and night into thy church lifâ—ing vp mine eyes vnto thee and hauing my thoughts fixed on thee I will openmine heart and thou shalt fill it with thy grace that it may sanctifie all mine affections and so I thereby may set forth nothing more then thy glory FINIS
esteemed amongst men as an vnnaturall and cruell Parricide Now God came not into the world to dissolue and adnihilate this naturall obligation but contrarywise more surely to strayne and tye the knot by this loue which he hath so greatly recommended vnto vs. Euen so we also see that when we once begin to cut asunder the bond of the common affection vnto our countrey that all manner not onely of disorders but of most abhominable crimes and wickednesses set in foote and thefts murders rapes extortions and sacrileges forthwith rule and reigne Now what is it in the whole world which a man can more mislike more abhorre kindle his furie more and more stirre and prouoke him to ruyne and confound people What shall wee then say whilest so many labour headlongly to ouerthrow both them selues and their countrey will you euen you I say that haue alwayes had charge and whose office bindeth you to take paines for the common weale remayne as it were carelesly in the desert to see your selfe being safe the fire burne your countrey and reserue your selfe to behold the ashes thereof What a grief would it be vnto you not to haue brought the ayde which you might haue done or at least not to haue made an assay proofe thereof Do you not dayly see that after our friēds are dead we say euen with sighs if we had done such a thing it may he that he had bene aliue Come therefore and contribute with vs your wisedome and resolute counsels that we may saue that which in this world is most deare vnto vs. Forbeare this purpose of yours to liue a solitarie life and drawe you vnto your rest euen then when wee shall all at once haue brought the Ship to the hauen or else being ouercome with that foolish opinion of such as would willingly cast away them selues be saued with some boord of the wracke But if we perish therein death which way soeuer he may come shall haue shewed vs no small fauour in taking vs away from the beholding of so lamentable a spectacle or sight A MEDITATION OF THE PSALMES OF DAuid his repentance ANCHORA SPEI 1594 A MEDITATION vpon the Psalmes of Dauid his repentance Lord in thy wrath reprooue me not c. Psalme 6. TAke away ô Lord the arme of thy seueare and heauy vengeance from me for it will else driue me downe headlong as a violent streame into euerlasting death and Condemnation and consume mee like fier and the rest of my bodie shall be turned into ashes And what eye shall be able to abide but must needs perish with feare to behold the onely looke of thine angrie face when as in casting thine eye vppon vs thou shalt pierce the verie bottoms of our hearts and discouer the secrets of our vncleane consciences For our abhominable sinnes will blowe the bellowes of thy iust anger vpon our heads and thine hote burning wrath will all at once cast vs downe headlong into that fearefull gulfe of paines torments and miseries And therefore before such time as thy furie doth arise against me and that thou with iust disdaine commest to ouerthrow and destroy me I beseech thee to geue eare vnto the humble and grieuous groanes which my fearefull heart powreth out vnto thee 2 Mercie therefore ô Lord mercie I craue Oh my God what wilt thou do Shall thy mightie power and strength make tryall of mine infirmities Thinkest thou my God that I come before thee to wrastle against thy mightie power No no O Lord it is vnto thy clemencie that I runne it is vnder her wing that I place my selfe that she might arme her selfe against the rigour of the condemnation which I most iustlie haue deserued Appease therefore somewhat what thy countenance and seeing that I haue along while called vpon thy goodnesse helpe and deliuer me from all those euils which do besiege me for behold I leade my life in most pittifull manner and me thinketh that all my bones are brused and broken 3 Howbeit it is not my poore bodie onely that is thus cruelly afflicted but my miserable soule also doth sorrow and grieue This soule of mine O Lord yea euen this soule of mine who is fully and wholy purposed with her voice to glorifie the author of her life is cast downe and become desolate without either courage or strength And as the fearfull Doue hideth her selfe in some small hole or creauie at the noise of thunder euen so my soule when she beholdeth thine heauie indignation seeketh the darkest and obscurest places for her retraite But how long O Lord will thine anger last 4 Howbeit come O my Lord come and looke vpon me with thy pittifull eyes with which thou canst not blot out my sinne alone but all the sinnes of the world also For I feele my soule sticke fast in a most filthie and deepe puddle of iniquitie therein she lieth drowned ouer head and eares and stretcheth out her hand O Lord vnto thee alas pluck her out of it O Lord and set her againe into the way of saluation Saue her O Lord for she coniureth thee therunto by thine infinite goodnesse and incredible mercy True it is O Lord that she no whit deserueth the same neither oughteth she to hope for any helpe at his hand whom she hath so cowardly forsaken against whose honour she hath so wickedly conspired the reward of whose sinne deserueth no fauour but hell fier and eternall death 5 But who O Lord shall sing thy praises and sound thy name in the infernall pit and in the bottomlesse depth of death For it is the house of sorrow for there is nothing heard and seene but howling torments where contrariwise thy praise consisteth onely in setting forth of thine infinit mercy goodnesse and clemencie 6 And besides behold on the one side how humble repentance maketh intercession for me and hath sworne that she will neuer depart from me vntill such time as she hath reconciled me vnto thee And on the other side consider how humble praier importuneth thee for me and hath sworne also that she will neuer be frō thine heeles vntill such time as she hath reconciled me vnto thee O my God thou hast often times seene my teares heard my grones I daily wash my face with tears through the remēbrance of my sins I cause my bed to swim with the teares that trickle down my eyes what is that O Lord which repentance cōmandeth me that I do not religiously obserue 7 I cast downe mine eies tremble with feare when I behold thy angry countenance I patiently beare the rebukes of mine enemies take in good part their reproches as a iust punishmēt for my sinnes I walke before their faces in sackcloth ashes and with the confession of my mouth I kneele at the feete of thine aulters I with rods make leane my flesh which caused my soule to sin howbeit mine enemies do but laugh at my trouble which place them selues round about me with
mocks to betray me 8 But when as thou hast mercie vpon me I will say vnto them Away from me yee children of iniquitie yee shall no longer laugh at my miserie The Lord hath heard my praier and my teares haue appeased his anger and behold I now enioy the fruite of his holy fauour The light of his goodnesse hath shined vpon me and behold the stormes that came about my head are calmed and dasht in a moment 9 With much a do haue I opened my lips to call vpon him for aide with much a do could I get mine heart to crie him mercy and I haue found his grace to be powred vpon me comfortting and quickening my languishing and sick soule euen as warme water refresheth a poore surbatted traueller O incredible clemency how ready O Lord art thou to pardon and forgiue I runne to offend thee and yet thou wilt shew me fauour I haue bestowed all the daies of my life both by sea and by land to hunt after ambition couetousnessc and filthie lust and when I haue beene ouer head and eares and vtterly vndone in my beastly delights yet hast thou in a moment pierced the uens and the clouds to come downe to deliuer me so as behold me now triumphing ouer my sinne which most humbly followed the trophes of my repentance which hath found grace before thee And so the hope which my sinnes had as it were strangled is now more liuely then euer it was before which promiseth me not onely the Empires of the world that bend themselues which way soeuer the Lord enclineth them but also openeth vnto me the highest heauens and assureth me after an happy life here in this world to enioy the heauenly immortalitie 10 What will mine enemies then do when as they shall see me stored with so great felicitie They will then surely blush with shame their soules will be greatly troubled and returne altogether confounded and amazed for he whom they thought to be vtterly ouerthrowne is now set in an higher degree then euer before he was Alas they all made a scorne at my ashes they laughed at my fastings and whilst I with abstinence straue against my flesh the very enemy vnto my soule they bathed themselues in the pleasures of the world but loe the arme of the Lord is ready to thunder lighten vpon their insolencie O my God giue them a long time to acknowledge the extreame danger wherein they are and to call vnto thee from on high for the onely remedy of their disease and as for my selfe who feele my soule purge her selfe of the filthy matters which are in and about her who feele my spirit inflamed with the fier of thy loue teach my lips to set forth thy praises lift vp my voice to resound thy mercies and guide mine affections sincerely to loue thee and to establish in the knowledge of thy truth my soueraigne happines chiefest felicitie Blessed are they vnto whom c. Psalme 31. BLessed are they my God whose sinnes thou hast pardoned and whose iniquities thou hast buried in the toombe of obliuion Alas what shall become of him whose iust punishment thou doost still continue vpon him for his iniquities An armie of euils encompasse him pouerty assaulteth him sicknesse afflicteth him famine presseth him and death it self which he thinketh to be the porte of this tempestuous nauigation is the bottomlesse pit which must draw him vnto euerlasting torments 2 And therefore they are three or foure times blessed whom God calleth not vnto a reckoning for their deedes but is contented to haue them humble themselues before him acknowledging their infirmities opening vnto him the very bottom of their harts For we must by true confession and with a sincere conscience call vpon him for his mercies and he that will be heard must humble himselfe before him for as he that goeth vnto a riuer or pond putteth downe the mouth of his vessell to take vp the water so must he also do that humbleth himselfe before his creator that will draw and taste of the water of this holy spring from whence runneth the moisture which onely purgeth and clenseth our consciences 3 I haue somtimes thought O my God to hide my sinnes away frō thee and haue said within my selfe how shall he vnderstand what I haue done or not And so haue my sinnes putrified within my bones and as the vlcers and foule sores of a shamefast diseased man who dareth not shew his disease vnto the Surgion encrease and waxe worse euen to the vtter ouerthrow of the body euen to haue the sinnes which I haue hid from thee mightily infected me 4 But in the end thou hast day and night so heauily laid thy hand vpon me and made me taste of such a number of sorts of miseries amongst which my soule taketh no rest being ouercome with the continuall pricking of my conscience that pierceth euen through mine heart that I haue ackowledged my fault which I presently beare vpon mine hand Behold and acknowledge this my God but not in thine anger for the dropping teares which with much weeping haue almost put out mine eyes ought also put out thy iustly hoate burning ire And besides am not I the worke of thine owne hands nay am not I rather the very liuely image of thy Deitie And what is he that is so angrie as that he wil bruse or breake the worke which it pleased him so to polish and make perfect when as he seeth it to be foule filthy In very deed I must needs confesse that this image is laden with filthie matter but is it not better to make it cleane and neate then to breake it in peeces and tread it vnder feete 5 Teach me then my God what satisfaction I shall make for I haue now laid open vnto thee all the sinnes which before I had concealed For the feare wherein I was when I hid my selfe from thee is at this present that I haue discouered my selfe vnto thee changed into hope of grace and pardon And now I cast my selfe betweene thine armes as into the most assured defence I haue euen with such a countenance as the poore pacient that sheweth his wound to the Barbar looketh wishly vpon him and couragiouslie suffereth his searching and lancing by reason of the desire and hope that he hath to be healed But that which giueth me a greater hope of health is that the sinnes wherein I before tooke pleasure make me now abhor to see them euen as the meates wherewith a man in health gorgeth himselfe are very lothsome vnto his stomack when he is weake and sickly And that which made me before bold and male part I am now ashamed of when as I consider the hazard of death whereunto my pride had exposed my poore soule I giue my most hearty thankes for the day wherein I was enlightened to acknowledge my sinne I do acknowledge my God that day to be a singular testimonie of thy goodnesse toward me graunt
before him his own pure and cleane image and to vow vâ—to his goodnesse so many fauourâ— wherewith he hath pleased to graâ—… me And he hath not onely heard me before all the rest of his creatures granting vnto me the vse of diuine reason but also hath lifted me vp amongst men into an honourable and magnificent throne so as there remaineth nothing vnto my felic it iâ— but to learne to know and after that I had forgot my selfe he enlightened me by his holy light and gaue me time and will to bewaile my sinfull life past and to amend it also for the time to come 11 And therefore my good friends do as I haue done and recouer his fauour in good time for he himselfe â—alleth you vnto the way of saluation and do not as the melancholike and froward Moyle dooth who kicketh at him that pricketh him to go eight foorth because he wanteth both sence knowledge and iudgement 12 And so thereby he hath a bitte â—ut into his mouth and is continually spurred about the flankes After the same sort The Lord at the first summons that he setteth you in his wayes if yee submit not your selues vnto his will he will poâ—… downe vpon you an huge heape 〈◊〉 calamities which will make you 〈◊〉 wretched and miserable then miseâ—… it selfe 13 Yee right well see how cleeâ—… lie the starres shine in the heaueâ—… and the sand which rolleth on these shore howbeit there is not so muâ—… sand in the sea nor so many starre in the skies as the obstinate shaâ—… endure plagues and punishment Their cursednesse hangeth ouer their heads their miseries follow them aâ— their heeles euen vntill such timâ— as that they are cast downe headloâ—… into that gulfe the thinking whereâ—… dooth terrifie whom soeuer remenbreth it and whose pleasantest resting places are full of weeping crying howling and groaning where the paine is without end the dolour without remedie and the repeatance without mercie where dead is immortall the body liueth but 〈◊〉 die and the soule but to suffer where the soule feeleth nothing bâ—… her sinne and the body nothing 〈◊〉 his paine But contrariwise they thâ—… couer themselues vnder the grace and fauour of the Lord Iesus which make his mercy their shield and buckler hope in nothing but in his grarious goodnesse follow his commaundements and precepts and are iealious of his will what felicitie and happinesse is there which they shall not attaine vnto Nay what is there in heauen neuer so good and pretious that is not opened vnto them They shall sit cheeke by cheeke with their God and being all encompassed with glory shall be filled and heaped vp with so many blessings as that the heart of man can no way possiblie be able to conceiue the least part of them so farre of is it then as that my babbling tongue cannot possiblie expresse the wonderfulnesse of them 14 I will therefore reioyce my God in carefully waiting and looking for the manifold benefits which thou reseruest in heauen to crowne the righteous withall Vnto this cheerfulnesse do I inuite al those whom thou hast sworne in the word of Sauiour which louest the law of his righteousnesse This is it that attendeth the recompence of your trauels This is it wherein you shall be placed in honour and glorie This is it that shall change the sharpe thornes of the world into the flourishing and beautifull Lillie of all eternitie Oh then shall the dropping and painfull sweating of your afflictions finde most gratious rest The golde commeth not out of the fierie furnace more pure nor brighter to be cast to make the image of some great Prince and afterward to be set vp as an ornament in some rich closet then the heart of him that loueth his God he will draw him pure and cleane out of the miseries of the world and compasse him with brightnesse and glorie What iâ— there now in the world that I shall like of What shall staie and let me from entring into the house of the Lord to liue to serue him What day of my life shall I cease to bewaile my sinnes which haue so farre estranged me from his grace And therefore I humblie beseech thee my God to reconcile these two contrary passions in me repentance and ioye to the end that as the poore traueller wandring in the deserts our of his way is glad when he seeth the dawning of the day peepe and yet cannot forget the great darkenesse out of which he is but newly gotten ne yet cast of the feare which he had of so tedious a night Euen so also haue I a continuuall horror of my sinnes past and yet a sure and ioyfull hope of enioying that euerlasting blessednesse which thou hast purchased for vs with the bloud of thy dearely beloued sonne Christ Iesus O Lorde what a loue is that when as a maister dooth not spare the life of his owne onely sonne to redeeme his slaue Wherefore O most louing Sauiour seeing that I being formed with thine owne hands bought with thy bloud and purified by thy mercie I do here offer my selfe an obedient sacrifice vnto thee my God and Sauiour and therefore reiect me not Lord in thy wrath reprooue me not Psalm 37. I Must O Lord returne vnto thee and beginne againe to call vpon thee and to beseech thee of thy mercy For it seemeth to me that thine anger is rekindled against me Alas my God wilt thou chastise me in thine anger and make me feele the violence of thy iust furie which my sinnes haue prouoked thee to do The flame being consumed by the fire falleth into ashes and I being deuoured with the heate of thine anger do so vanishaway as that there remaineth not so much as the smoake 2 For I see my God that thou hast discharged the sharpest arrowes of â—…y vengeance against me thou hast touched me with thine hand and neuer takest away the same from me I feele the gnawing and terror of my conscience which astonish and bruse me eueÌ„ as it were thunder and lightning my miseries came vpon me one after another and one mischiefe presseth another warre is no sooner finished but that the plague assaulteth me and in the end death bereaueth me of the dearest pawnes I haue in this world Wherein then shall I take comfort my God shall it be in my selfe 3 Out alas my good God I haue neuer an whole member in me for my misery is entred euen into the marrow neither is there any part of me that reprocheth me not with my sinne and for the which I am not pained I languish in griefe and there is none to comfort me mine eyes serue me for none other purpose but to looke vpon my miserie and my soule for nothing else but to acknowledge my cursednesse 4 I looke round about me and so farre as the eyes of my body and eyes of my soule can discerne what is past I see nothing either aboue me or below me or yet on any
thee 17 O what an acceptable sacrifice before thee is a broken and contrite heartâ— and an humble heart that acknowledged his sinne thou wilt neuer reiect for if it will come vp vnto thee it must first come downe and if it will touch the heauen it must first crawle vppon the ground if it will haue thee to heare it it must fyrst be silent and if it will be crowned in thy kingdome it must fyrst be beaten and scourged in the world These are the Sacrifices O Lord wherewith wee must be reconciled vnto thee and enter into couenant as thou hast set it downe vnto vs. 18 But if it be thy pleasure ô Lord that we shall offer bulls and bullocks vnto thee and perfume thine Aulters with the bloud of beasts if thou wilt that we by the death of an innocent burnt offering should represent vnto thee the death and innocencie of him whome thou hast destined to redeeme our soules If the figure of that which should come in the person of the vnspotted lambe doth please thee by the killing of Weathen and Sheepe looke then with pitie vppon thy poore people comfort thoâ— desolate Syon and encourage her poore enhabitants to the end they may set vp againe the walls of thine holie Citie and reedifie thy Temple not according to that equall proportion O Lord which thou deseruest but according to the wealth and industrie that the poore world can possibly affoord 19 Thither shall come from alâ— parts thy faithfull in great multitudesâ— to offer vp sacrifice vnto thee and there shall the expiation and purging of their sinnes be acceptable vnto thee But it shall neither be the death of beasts that shall wash away their spots for the cleansing of their disobedience and preuarication was prepared from all eternitie This is an inestimable sacrifice a burnt offering without spot which shall drawe away the curtayne disperse and destroy the darkenesses breake downe the wall or hedge that we may see the truth of our saluation face to face make the beames of his diuine mercie shine vpon vs and reassociate vs vnto the communion of that euerlasting blisse which we willingly haue renounced O most mercifull God which hast vnseeled the eyes of mine vnderstanding to see the misterie of my saluation make me O Lord to taste the excellent fruite which flourishing vppon the tree of the Crosse shall with the iuice thereof quicken and gene life vnto our dead souses preserue and warrant vs for euer from that ruine and calamitie which hath so miserably brought together the race of mankinde and ouerflowed them through their disobedience Lord heare my Prayer Psalme 102. I Haue ô Lord cryed and called vppon thee a long time for thy mercie and do yet looke for ayd and help from thee The ayte is filled with my cryes The winds haue carried the voyce of my dolor and griefe euen vnto the vttermost parts of the world and thine eaâ—e which heareth and vnderstandeth whatsoeuer is done in the bottomlesse pit of hell doth not yet heare and vnderstand my prayer which reacheth and beateth the very heauens Wilt thou therefore be deafe only vnto meâ— and shall all the world heare me saue thy selfe alone No no my God thou hast ouer-long stretched out thine armes now to reiect mee when as I come vnto thee for refuge 2 And now that I feele a thousand and a thousand sorrowes and that miseries assayle me on euery side do not turne thy backe vpon me ô Lord. Alas haue I setled my whole power and strength vpon the sweet countenance of thy face Haue I diuorced my selfe from the world to the end I might drawe neere vnto thee and haue I forsaken the children of the world that I might ioyne my self vnto the master of the heauens and wouldest thou now forsake me O Lord deale not so with me but assist mine infirmitie all the dayes of my life 3 Let my voyce no sooner cry and call vnto thee my God but that I may also soone feele thee and let thy grace descend as speedely vppon me as an Eagle hasteth her selfe to ayd her yong on s For if thou assist me not what maner of sight shall I be able to make against the enemies of my soule 4 My strength and life would dayly vanish away as the light smoke doth in flying in the ayre for the eye which seeth it goe out of the fire seeth it also forthwith consumed and in a moment accompanied both with his originall and his end and if any should aske what is become of it there is not one that can so much as tell where â—he trace only of it is to be found He that hath seene the loppings of wood wither in the sunne and loose their strength and verdure hath also seene my poore bones become both drye and consumed meete for none other thing but for the graue The graue yea surely the graue which is the happiest thing that can betide me if so be so small a pit may be able to stay the violent course of mine extreame misery 5 Who soeuer he be that hath seene grasse cut downe and tanned with the Sunne in the field and lose the coulor and wither and looke vppon my gastly and deadly face he would thinke that I were able to make death afeard Mine hart is parched within mine entrailes and my bloud drieth vp within my vaines for I remember not to put bread into my mouth and do still forget to eate my meales 6 My mouth serueth me for none other purpose but to cry out lament and the ordinary voice of my griefe is so strong as that it draweth after it all the rest of my strength Now if so be that my body being so extreamely full of heauinesse consume it selfe by little and little and my bones horribly sticke through my skinne what cause haue I to take care for the sustayning of this miserable body of mine which is the matter and substance of all my miseries Wherefore should I be watchfull for the conseruing of this life of mine which wrestleth against so many enemies and is cast downe with so many afflictions Were it not much better for me in ending my life to make also therewith an end of all miseries 7 Is the Pellican more full of greefe then I who liuing in the most solitary deserts of Egipt tormenteth her selfe for the killing of her yong ones and washeth them in her owne bloud to restore them to life which she had taken from them Is her sorrow greater than mine Hath nor my sinne procured the death of the child whome I more dearly loued then my selfe And now that I haue dried vp all my teares the bloud will gush out of mine eyes for feare I should be voide of teares in so lamentable and cursed a case But the Pellican hath redeemed with her own bloud the price of her yong ones and I most miserable wretch that I am shall be depriued for euer of the child which I so
thee with confessioÌ„ of the mouâ—… and contrition of the heart He hath 〈◊〉 sooner looked towards thy mercy but that he feeleth it working in him and breaketh destroieth the sinne which freeseth his heart with feare horror And the punishment which hangeth ouer his head recoyleth farre away from him and caryeth with it this miserable carefulnesse which tormeÌ„teth the consciences defiled with iniquitie And therefore O Lord haue I not forsaken thy lawes but haue alwaies waited to see when it would please thee to graunt me fauour and grace for the vnwise man that despaireth by reason of his sinne and giueth ouer his soule as condemned is like vnto the abhominable vsurer who hauing susteined some losse in his goods by and by bereaueth himselfe of his life also 5 My soule hath not done so my God for although she hath felt thine hand lying most heauily vpon me executing part of the punishment which my sinnes haue deserued yet hath she alwaies conserued in her selfe that sound hope which she hath had in thy promises Euen as the blowes light vpon my backe I crie out and say vnto thee O Lord my God thy will be done and giue me as great strength as thou layest affliction on me Measure my punishment by my strength and as my torment encreaseth euen so augment my courage and so hast thou done O Lord. 6 Let Israell therefore looke vp and trust in his God euen from the day breake vnto the shutting in of the euening looke for none other helpe but from him For his helpe is ready sure for him that calleth vpon him with a sincere conscience and a pure will And although the miserie hath beene neuer so great and extreame yet so soone as the Lord hath vnderstood the crie of his seruants they haue all so soone felt also their deliuerance 7 For he most bountifully powreth out his mercy and is infinitely helpfull to all those that come vnto him Insomuch as that his goodnesse putteth out as it were the sorrow which we haue for our sinnes maketh vs as it were reioyce in our fall as being the cause whereby we haue made triall of his louing kindnesse For if our sinnes surpasse all measure his grace exceedeth all our thoughts We haue deserued long and hard captiuitie and loe who it is that freeth vs and hath brought vs a most sweete libertie We haue blinded the eyes of our spirite and loe who commeth to enlighten them 8 O Israell thou hast offended the Lord thou hast scorned his lawes thou hast made a iest at his commandements thou hast forgotten the good turnes which he fauourably hath bestowed vpon thee He hath drawne thee out of most miserable captiuitie fed thee with the bread of heauen made purposely streames flow out of hard rocks to make thee drinke hath chosen for thy dwelling place the most delitious garden in the world made a couenant with thee giuen thee his will to keepe and thou hast coniured against his honour gone an whoring vnto strange goddes troden his lawes vnder thy ferre To be short thou hast deserued more punishment then there is to be had in hell And yet notwithstanding he offereth to graunt thee grace and with the price of his own bloud would redeeme thee from the bondage of sinne whervnto thou most voluntarily boundest thy selfe Behold him who hath himselfe paide their ransome that betraid him who tooke vpon him the punishment which we deserued and satisfied for our transgressions With what wordes then are we any way able to thanke him for all these mercies Open my lips therefore my God my Creator and redeemer that my voice may be heard and mine heart enflamed with a boiling affection to praise and thanke thee and humble me also in the acknowledging of my self to the end thou maiest heare me in the knowledge of the holy mysterie bâ— which we are reincorporate into thee and renued in thy couenant that we may enter into that blessed fellowship of glorie in which all they shall triumph which shall be partakers of the merit of the passion of thy best beloued sonne the true and onely Sauiour of the world Lord heare my prayer Psalm 142. O Lord man in the end is weary of all things a continuall course bringeth him out of breath ouermuch staring dimmeth the eies and a shrill sound deaffeth the eares but the more my voice cryeth vnto thee the stronger it is my courage encreaseth more and my praier better pleaseth me And therefore do I begin againe daily to crie vpon thee Lord heare my praier giue eare vnto my complaint for in praying to thee my God consisteth all mine whole comfort It is my praier O Lord which coniureth thy louing kindnesse to purge my sinnes not by reason of the seueritie of the punishment but by the meanes of the effect of the grace which thou hast graunted vnto vs by which thou doest abolish by thy souereigne and absolute power the remembrance of our sinnes 2 And therefore enter not O Lord into iudgement with thy seruant ne yet leaue him vnto the rigour of thy lawes for no man liuing that shall appeare before thee at thy iudgement seate shall be iustified No man shall escape this fearefull condemnation the punishment whereof is not onely cruell but immortally rigorous also Alas O Lord who can be saued before thee It is thou that art offended it is thou that wilt accuse vs It is thou that hast seene our iniquities and wilt attest them and it is thou that shalt iudge vs. When the accuser shall be witnesse and the witnesse Iudge what shall become of the offendor What defence can he make to iustifie himselfe O Lord my God I will not tarrie vntill this blowe light vpon me I will defend me with thy fauour and grace to oppose it vnto thy Iustice And thy grace is obtained by the acknowleding and confessing of our sinnes and the humbling and submitting of our mindes Loe I here cast downe my selfe prostrate before thee and lay open my sinnes and therefore I beseech thee O Lord to haue mercy vpon me 3 My sinnes my God the capitall enemie vnto my soule haue so terrified me and cast me downe as that I now lie crawling vpon the ground daring not once to looke vp vnto heauen For so soone as I lift vp mine eyes I see the light which shineth vpon me discouer on the day a great many of sinnes which accuse my conscience And then I feele forthwith shame take holde on my guiltie face and to make me cast downe my countenance vnto the ground a countenance vnworthy to behold the heauens the maister wherof she hath so grieuously offended too too cowardly a face to cast the eyes thereof vpon such places which haue so many thunder-bolts prepared to roote out the guiltie 4 My spirit therefore hath led me into darke places and buried me as a dead man in the crannies of obscuritie My soule is made very sad in me and mine
vnderstood thy councell therein For after I had resolued with my selfe to see the end whereunto thou haddest prepared those peoples I forthwith saw that thy iustice is most true and that although it sometimes maketh slow haste yet it payeth home at the last with seueare punishment and therefore I verie stedfastly waited and looked what should become of them 18 And truly in the end thou payedst them thorough stitch and rewardedst them according to their craftie and wicked dealing For when they thought them selues at the highest degree of honor behold thou ouerthrewst them and castedst them down headlong in a bottomlesse depth of miserie For all their pomps magnificences and ritches were nothing vnto them in the end but an high and eminent scaffold to bring them vp vnto that steepe and high breake-necke from whence they were most shamefully rolled downe ouer and ouer 19 O most true God what a desolation discomfort is this There is nothing but weeping about them for all they of their guards and all their pentioners do nothing else but beate their brests holding down their heads as the Lilly holdeth downe his when it is sore rayne-beaten and hauing compassion of those whome they were wont to enuy They most lamentably looke vpon the ruine of their idoll and consider with them selues how foolish they were to make a mortall and miserable man their God who was no better then wind or smoke For if a man considereth and marketh their end he shall see them dispatcht and gone in a moment neyther is there any thing that commeth more speedily to an end then the way of their greatnesse bringeth them thereunto and they haue bene so suddainely changed as that there could be nothing possibly to be seene of them Behold and looke on them for once they were and now they are not hardly can a man see their footsteps and marke whither their sinnes haue brought them it was a great while before the snare or grin could be made fit for them but loe in the end they lighted into it For during the time that the foundation of the house was in vndermining they climbed the higher that their fall might be the greater They continually clambered vp higher and higher and thought that whatsoeuer was below them was theirs only but in the end they clambered vp so high as that they lost them selues in the ayre before they could get againe to the earth so as they were caried away with the wind And loe they became as dreames when men awake for as a man sayth when he awaketh I dreamed well to thinke of such a thing euen so shall it fare with you for when such men as ye are shall vanish away and come to naught the people will then say surely the greatnes of these men was but as a dreame and a very meere vaine and inconstant folly For thou wilt make them of so little worth as that they shall be neuer once thought of but as in a mockerie and in discommending and condemning their pride and insolencie will say See how their houses are ruined behold the place where these outragious Sirs dwelt who cared neither for God nor men which delighted in nothing but in filthinesse wickednes who haue built so many and so many houses with the boanes of the poore and cimented their palaces with the bloud of the needy and loe there remaineth nothing of all that they had but the markes and notes of their ignominie for the tempest hath passed ouer them and there is not so much as any one tittle or iote remayning of them 21 Thus we see ô Lord that we must not rashly iudge of thy prouidence and therefore who so euer will iudge therof must patiently wait vnto the end and suffer himself to be led by thy spirit must call vpoÌ„ thee also for the comforting addressing of him for notwithstanding that I fret fume chafe sigh grone and haue set euery part of my body in a sweat with sore labor and brought my selfe as it were euen to deaths dore yet am I neuer awhit the better for it and after I had tormented my selfe I found my selfe as resolute as I was before 22 I was so vexed and grieued I say as that I knew not whether I was a man or a beast nay I was in very deed like a beast and could no more comprehend the same then if I had vtterly lost mine vnderstanding Howbeit I still stand to that hope which I haue in thee and the more I see my sense and iudgement fayle me the speedelier runne I vnto thee and humbly beseech thee to open my spirit that I may know and vnderstand what thy will is 23 Thou hast taken and held me fast by the hand and set me gently againe in the way of thy will and madest me vnderstand the purpose and mind nay thou hast done more then that for me thinketh thou hast opened both mine eyes and the heauens all at once that I might see the mightinesse of thy glorie Thou hast I say ô Lord made me to see it for this is a thing whereunto no mortall man without thee is able to reach 24 For alasse should I poore weake thing that I am go to seeke for that in heauen which I cannot very well see at my feet who cannot perceiue but â—ith much ado that which is here oâ—…â—…th before me The eyes of my boâ—e are very duskish and mistie and â—…e eyes of my soule farre worse and â—ens thoughâ—s are maruellous vncerâ—ine and weake for the earthly and â—…rruptible body dulleth and maketh â—…le our spirits and â—yeth and bindeth 〈◊〉 senses fast vnto the earth in so â—…ch as that without thee I can not â—ope for any thing here below in the â—orld nor yet promise vnto my selfe â—y certaine knowledge of what thing â—…uer What am I able being here â—…on the earth to iudge and discerne â—hout thy ayd and without it pleaâ—…h thee to enlighten my spirit with â—…se things which thou hast ordeyâ—…d in heauen in the seate of thine eâ—…itie But thou also ô Lord hast â—…plyed my want and led me by the â—…d to make me see the counsels of â—e eternall wisedome thou hast as 〈◊〉 â—ere made me in loue with thee â—…d hast heaued and thrust my spirit 〈◊〉 of my body to make it capable of 〈◊〉 heauenly light and of thy wise â—poses 25 Surely when I consider of these wondrous things I am cleane gone my hart is taken from me and I am fallen into a swound ô God What is this my God which thou hast made me see O thou the God of my hart of my thoughts of my hope and thou ô God whome I esteeme to be my only felicitie and whome to loue I haue from henceforth destined all my affections I now know ô Lord what thou art how iust and how puissant I will now neuer be abashed more ne yet astonyed to see the strange and wonderfull things of the world whereof I am
geuen them all power and â—…thoritie ouer thee Sade But God in the end began to waxe weary of their insolency because they carryed theÌ„selues too too proudly of their conquest for after they had troden vnder feet the greatnes of Ierusalem they meant againe to deale with his maiestie and blaspheme his name and hauing ouerthrowne the walles of this holy Citie they bragged that they would make warre against God him selfe and triumph ouer the spoyles of his Temple Let their example ô Ierusalem serue thy turne and take occasion to appease God by thy repentance that he may turne the punishment which he hath prepared for thee vpon thine enemies Let thine eyes forthwith burst into bloudy teares and weepe continually day and night geue no rest to thy sighes let thy pitifull eyes speake for thee and looking vp still vnto heauen attend thou thine ayde from thence Coniure by thine humble lookes this diuine mercy that it may ease thy weakenes and conuert his iustice vnto the chastising of the insolency of thine enemies Coph Lift vp lift vp I say both thy body and soule all at once and before it be day so soone as thou shalt awake put thy selfe in a readinesse to pray into God to prayse and thanke him for that he by the torments which he hath caused vs to abide hath brought thee back into the right way as men do oxen with the goade vnto the knowledge of his name and the acknowledging of thine iniquities And before his face that is to say when thou hast obtayned fauour at his hand to looke vpon thee and seest him to haue compassion on thee distill thine heart through thine eyes and melt it all into teares by thine earnest repentance euen as the Sunne would melt the snow newly fallen into water But if so that thy teares will not touch him and bring him to haue compassion of thy miserie lift vp thy hands yet at the least vnto him and beseech him to be contented with thy miseries and not extend them vnto thy poore innocent childreÌ„ who are there dispersed dying of hunger and weakenesse in corners saying vnto him Resch O Lord if thou haue any eyes behold this pitifull spectacle and if thou haue any eares harken vnto out prayers and consider how great our miserie is Behold how thou hast bene auenged of vs and see what a spoyle thou hast made of vs. And in very deed I must needs confesse that we haue deserued it and I do protest that we are vnworthie of thy mercy and do also vow that we our selues are the causes of our owne miserie But what haue these poore and wayling children done whom thou seest screaking out them selues faintly drawing their breath Why should the child whom hunger torment had drawne out before the time of the mothers womb was ready to deliuer it which is not as it were so great as a mans hand be rent in pieces by her which should bring it forth and so be eaten by her and the same to go downe by peece-meale into the body out of which it came whole and sound Surely happy and twise happy are the Tygres and Lyons whelps in comparison of these whose dammes will aduenture their own liues against whatsoeuer violence shall be offred their yong ones rather then they would suffer them to take any hurt at all O Lord how canst thou abide this horrible dealing Is it possible that thou which are altogether good gratious wouldest abide such great impietie to be wrought that thou which art so wise wouldest allow of such a cruell acte and that thou which art Almightie wouldest suffer such a strange outrage Shew thy selfe ô Lord shew thy selfe as thou art and although for a time thou art determined to exercise thy seueritie and iustice yet thinke vpon this also that thy mercy must reigne haue her course Content thy selfe that so much bloud is spilt for the appeasing of thine heauie wrath Thou hast not bene pleased with the bloud of our sheepe and oxen alone but wilt needs also haue thine Aulters couered with the bloud of thine owne Priests for they haue sacrificed their owne liues and thy Prophets likewise haue bene offred vp in oblation and yet thou art no whit appeased Syn. What more wouldest thou haue at our hands Thou hast scene abroad in the fields the gray haired and â—ecreped old men and women lye vpon the ground crying out groaning and â—eeping thou hast seene lying with 〈◊〉 our walles the slaughter of our youths our streetes strawed all ouer with legs and ames our riuers running ouer with bloud and neyther sexe or yet age spared Thou hast seene amongst the dead the yong and tender maydens with their haires sheueled about their heads hauing their breasts lying open with great wounds out of which gushed streames of bloud and thou hast seene them lying on their backs with their eyes vp vnto heauen beseeching thine ayde And thou ô Lord hast notwithstanding all this turned away thine eyes from them and as if thou haddest bene a God not to be intreated hast without either pitie or mercy run through them all with the sword of thy fury Tau Thou hast inuited all my neighbour nations round about me to come to my discomfiture as it were vnto a mariage and to take part of my spoiles Thou hast brought them in such great multitudes to take possession of me and to compasse me as that I can not deuise which way to escape theÌ„ Thou thy selfe hast sounded to the assault animated them to my destruction and stopped vp the passages for feare that any of vs should be saued And truly thy will hath bene done vpon all the children which I haue brought vp nay there is not one of them saued mine enemies haue made a shambles of theÌ„ they haue murdered and massacred them till they cryed hoe withall and lo seest thou them weary with killing yet carest thou not to see them do it to let them to do it and to cause them do it Hath the remembrance of our sins made thee forget the remembraÌ„ce of thy clemency Hast thou created vs in thy mercy to destroy vs in thy fury Be thou then no more Almightie if thou wilt not become both all curteous all kind To be short be thou no more God without thou wilt be likewise pitifull Ha ô Lord why hast thou called vs thy people if thou wilt be no more our protector Why hast thou called vs thy childreÌ„ if thou wilt not deale with vs as a father Haue therefore ô Lord compassion vpon vs and feeing thy mercy is infinite euer since before the world was cause that thine ire which was neuer vntill our sins were may take end and dye with them and that as our repeÌ„tance hath set vs againe into the especiall way of obedience godlinesse so also it may bring vs againe into thy fauour CHAPTER III. Aleph IT is I euen I my selfe that hath so many times foreseene and
an ineuitable mischiefe I had none other recourse but vnto mine eyes My teares haue trickled downe aboundantly and haue bitterly bewayled my mishap and the misery of my fellow citizens and of thee my best beloued Ierusalem Ain And as our miseries neuer ceased no more also did mine eyes so as a man would haue verely sayd that through affliction mine heart was in the presse to squeeze teares out of it as men squeeze water out of a spunge Thus did I leade my life continually vntill such time as I had enforced thee ô Lord to haue pitie on me and had with my teares quenched the heat of thine anger What other thing should I haue done when as I sawe before mine eyes so many Cities destroyed so many houses burnt so many Templs cast downe so many men slayne and so many mayds forced and defloured And surely I had had a very steely hart if I could haue held my self from weeping and although it had bene of steele yet had my dolor bene strong and able inough to haue molten it into weeping Sade Ha what a thing is this they draue vs before them as men driue cattle We fled from our enemies and yet they pursued vs we yelded our selues vnto them and yet they massacred vs and all this they did not geuing them any occasion of offence They led me into the bottome of the arse of a ditch and tyed a stone about my necke as they do about a dogs necke when they meane to drowne him And verely I had like to haue bene drowned for mine afflictions had aboundantly runne ouer the very crowne of mine head and had almost choked me and all the help that I had was to cry out and say O Lord I dye haue mercy vpon me Coph I was as it were in a bottomlesse depth in the hole of a prison I knew not but by my memorie whether there had bene eyther Stye or Sunne in the world so monstrous darke was the place wherein I was And yet ceased I not to call vpon thee my Lord my God and sent vp my faith whither my senses could by no meanes reach And thou neuer reiectedst me but receiuedst my prayer for my sobs in the end moued thee and made thee turne againe vnto thy first resolution I felt thee forthwith to assist and help me yea euen at the very first instant I say that I began to pray vnto thee And still me thought I heard thee say vnto my soule be of good courage feare not Resch And so ô Lord thou canst tell that as great a sinner as I am that thou wilt help and succour me euen for thy Christ his sake and for thy mercy promise and truth sake For thou that vnderstandest the very bottoms of our harts canst truly iudge that my soule hath bene carryed away vnto sinne by her senses and concupiscence but as soone as she felt thy rods she conuerted vnto thee her creator and redeemer from whom alone as she hath had life so also aduoweth she the restauration thereof after sinne For the question ô Lord is of the iudging betweene mine enemies and me whether it be reasonable that my misery should serue them for a sport or whether it be hye time that they should beare part of the punishmēt Iudge it ô Lord thou that knowest the righteousnes of my cause For thou knowest their thoughts their cruell purposes the plagues which they haue prepared for me I haue mine health by reason of their inhabilitie for if they had as great power as they haue will I had abidden as much as they had bene able to haue layd vpon me Syn. Thou hast sufficiently seene ô Lord that they haue dealt with me as farre as they might and thou knowest also that there is no iniury which they haue not committed and spoken against me And I do be short thou hast very well knowne their counsels and thoughts And I do verely thinke that there was neuer word came out of their lips wherwith they purposed not to hurt me and beleeue me their minds were neuer vnoccupied in finding out some cunning deuise or other to hurt me And cōsider I beseech thee whether euer they arose or lay downe that their talke was not on me neyther had they euer any other matter to sing on but to speake euil of me Tau Go to then ô Lord seeing they haue ouer come thy patience wilt thou not daunt their malice and sith nothing can driue them to repentance wilt thou not punish them And seeing they take so great pleasure in ill doing shall they not feele and abide thy displeasure by course For once I am sure that thou art iust and sith thou art so thou must needs pay them home according to the works of their owne hands And seeing that through their pride and arrogancie they haue forsaken thee to follow their own presumption thou must needs leaue them in their error and they must needs perseuere in their sinne and this hard scale of impenitencie must of force couer ouer their whole hearts and a greater curse canst thou not lay vpon them then this then to blinde their minds and take away from them their senses For when thou shalt come at once in the day of vengeance with a rod of iron in thine hand and breake them all in shards like a potters vessell there shall be nothing vnder the heauens by many thousands of degrees so miserable as they for they shall find no mercy at all because they themselues were mercylesse they shall be poore and there shall be none to helpe them and they shall be afflicted and none shall comfort them In the meane while ô Lord haue thou an eye vnto vs and second our patience with thine holy mercy to the end that as long as thou shalt please to exercise vs with the iniuries and opprobries of the wicked our hearts fayle vs not and that our soules may alwayes be able to lift them selues vp vnto thee and looke for thine ayde taking the miseries which it pleaseth thee to send vs for a tryall of our faith hoping that after our long patiēce thou wilt crowne vs as victorious wrastlers and cause vs triumphantly leade the wicked against whome we continually wrastle here in this life CHAPTER IIII. Aleph I Knowe O Lord right well that we must yeeld vnto thy will and that we do but kicke against the pricke in complayning of thee Neuerthelesse I can not keepe in my griefes much lesse my sighs when as I behold this strange desolation And although my soule biddeth me hold my peace yet can not mine heart keepe it selfe from sighing For who ô Lord would not haue pitie of this to see all the beawtifull golden walls of thy temple bescrabled and scraped all the goodly golden vessels so finely wought now melted and clipt in pieces all the ritch Iasper Porphirie of thy sanctuary brokē layd in gobbets cast about all the corners of the Citie in so