Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n
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A01794
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A neaste of vvaspes latelie found out and discouered in the Law-Countreys, yealding as sweete hony as some of our English bees
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Goddard, William, fl. 1615.
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1615
(1615)
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STC 11929; ESTC S123090
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17,024
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58
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yovr Inns Some of you old slye-pated foxes skynns Wee l make drumms heades of them in doinge soe I knowe by th' eares our foes and we shal goe Praie send vs some wee all will thank you then I knowe theire skynns to braules will stirr-vp men 24 Clarke quoth the Coun sellor I must ride downe What shall I doe ther'e 's not one horse in towne Why sir replies the Clarke that is noe lack In steed of horse bestride some Clyentes back Although an Asse vn seemelie is in showe Yet hee treades sure and whipp him on hee l goe Bestride a Clyent sir hee shall not tire I l'e spurr him on vnto your owne desire 25 A Woman to a Lawyer came sir quoth shee Beseeche your doe a fauour vnto mee What wouldst thou haue the man a lawe replies O sir your helping hand the good wife cryes For god sake sir quoth shee let me entreate You l make my husbandes smale thing very great The saie of nothing lawyers can great matters make Therefore I praie sir this thing vndertake 26 A Chauncery Clyent hauing spent his summs Vnto a vsring broker sneaking comes Broker saide hee t' is told me by a freind That you vppon a sute good gold will lend I haue a sute faire stronge but verye deare One that I 've worne almost this twentie yeare Which yet is freshe as when I firste did weare-it T' will weare-out me'till I 've noe strengh to beare it A sute soe lastinge stronge thother replies I le deale for it where is it sir hee cries Why in the Chauncrye replies the clowne There carelely my sutes throwne vp and downe And therefore praie sir ridd me oft The saie Men of your trade soone ridd mens sutes awaie The Broker scornfullie from him goes forth And tells him those old sutes are little worth 27 An old bald-pated graue graie-bearded sire Stole to a wench to quench his lustes desire shee askt him what profession hee might bee I am a Civell lawyer girle quoth hee A Civell lawyer sir you make mee muse Your talkes too broade for cyvell men to vse Yf Civell lawyers are such bawdy men Oh what quoth shee are other lawyers then 28 Take leases ho. You that haue hansome wiues Good husbandes plaie take leases for theire lives For If your wives but faire and hansom bee Phisitians will warrant em for yee If they but feele theire pulse then doubt noe lives I l'e warrant you thei le warrannt then your wiues By arte to women they cann put in life He 'es sure to gett that letts them warrants ' wife 29 Three sortes of Folkes there are which haue a trick Gold out of men and womens tailes to pick Your Panda'rs one the second of these three Is one which nightlie scoures things priuylee I de name the third and last sorte of these men But all Phisitians I should anger then 30 Lye thus the Fencer cryes thus must you guard Thus must you slipp thus poynte thus passe thus ward And yf you l kill him sir this trick learne then With this same trick you maie kill manie men A Doctor standing by cryes Fencing Foole Both you and hee to mee maie come to schoole Thou dost ' but prate my deedes shall showe my skill Where thou hurtst one a hundred I do kill 31 If warrs should cease tyme of peace should growe I would Phisitian turne that course I d'e goe Soe might I keepe my handes in vre and still Some one or other eu'rye daie might kill Oh Ide growe subtill I would learne the trick To make a sick man sound a sound man sick 32 Are you returnd my waspes I cannot see Howe manie men soe soone should stinged bee This world is spacious wide t is roundlie large Soe soone then howe could you my charge discharge Therefore abroade againe aboute goe seeke I loue to see men arie t' heare women shreeke 33 T is saide of roringe boies ther'e 's manie theeues Hee s in the truthe I thinke which soe beleeues Yet I doe think more witches are of them Then are of anie other sortes of men My reason 's this I feare I shall bee bangd Cause alwaies ther'e 's as manie burnd as hangd 34 Hee that hath wealth t is fitt that hee should haue A lock on 's trunck his gold and wealth to saue But he in whose pate there remaines noe witt Me thinkes a lock on his pate is vnfitt Then Rorers why doe you weare such huge locks Your heades are poore Of with them with a pox 35 Hath hee in question beene for pursing crymes Scap te sargants handes the hangmans twentie tymes Hath hee on whores consumd his landes and stock Beene brought to bedd deliv'red of the pock Lost'es haire from 's heade loste th'ead of you know what Yf he those scapes haue had and hath loste that Oh praie then let him passe lett him enioye This famous title yon 's a Roringe boie 36 Wouldst thou turne Rorer boye wouldst growe in fashon Learne this garbe then shalt gaine faire reputation Tobacco take run in each mercers score Visit plaies be seene to court thy whore Laughe at learning call preachers sheepishe men schollers asses stick not nowe and then To censure deedes of Kinges Naie gainst gods deytie Be bold to belche forth broadest blasphemie Must keepe a cattalogue must haue the name Of eurye merchannts wife which is of fame Must slannder all the fairest dames muste staine Must saie with conntesses with queenes t hast laine Muste bee noe coward thy selfe must proudlie carye Muste mouthe-it stoutelie in eache ordynarye Where yf but of thy losses thy tongue walke Muste of noe lesse a losse then hundreds talke Must learne to lie muste learne thy lie to face And lastelie howe to sweare God dam the with a grace Learne these younge boie great man thou shalt be then Who doe these Ill thinges well must needes bee men 37 Furious Hott-spurr a reason pry thee yeild Why thou soe fighst why thou goste soe in feild I st ' after bloude thy drye soule soe doth thriste Remember Cayn howe god that murthrer curste But tell me Hott-spurr wherein doste thou gaine When thou in feilde thy euemye haste slaine Thy venter's muche I ft ' bee but to gett bloude Then tell mee being gott wherefore i st good Thou canst not canst I tell thee thou vaine goose Thou hazardst bodie howe thy soule to loose This bloud once spilte doth not like bodies die But that reviues and vp to th'eauns doth fllie Where to the lord it pointes out that black deed Crying-out for vengeanc vengeance lord with speed Foole sheathe thy sworde avoide fond privat braules Our blades should sleepe vntill our countrie calles 38 Gooden-dagh Butter-boxe I vnderstand Thou dost in-habitt in the Netherland I pry thee Smeere-chopps doth not he which buyes A thing cald wife there paie for hir excise Who buyes an ox a cowe or such like beaste Paies for hir hornes hide flleshe excise at leaste Hee knowes not when
shee s bought beside the Boore He must betall the gelt to twentie more I pry thee Butter-boxe make mee so wise As knowe yf men maie wiue not paie excise 39 Dutchmen should paie yf they did paie theire due A taxe for eu'rye chymney old and newe Then honest Dutchmen praye nowe lett me axe Why for your womens tayles you paie noe taxe Yf those are chymneys where folkes fyers make Then your wiues tailes for chymneys I doe take For there are Fiers Fyers there they dailie keepe And therefore paie your dues those chymneys sweepe 40 Demaund you why or'e stoues Dutch-women sitts Oh strange praie why doe you putt meate on spitts I st ' not to roste the same nere wonder then For soe they sitt to roste meate for theire men Althoughe theire men all daie on hodgepodge eate Yet in the night they cloye them with roaste meate 41 Water they saie will not wild-fyer quench Then wild-fire in thy stoue thou bearst dutch-wench For yf by water it would quenched bee Then out il would soe waterd t is by thee But why it wil not out I nowe doe knowe Thy bellowes wench they alwaies puff and blowe 42 In Holland Zealand all the Netherlandes Younge men with maides allnight walk handes in handes In darkest night to walk they moste delight For doinge which some doe applaude theire sight They neede not do 't they see as other men For when t is darke they goe by feeling then 43 A Huntsman and his Dogg did latelie come To the lowe countreys from theire English home Oh Dogg quoth hee I spea kt ' with griefe of harte Wee one from tother shal be for'cd to parte I shall not able-bee to give thee meate Nowe bones and paringes I my selfe must eate Why sir replies the Dogg I hope not soe I cann and will your maisters pleasure showe Pleasure quoth hee If thou wilt them delight Thou must showe proffit Dogg or learn to fight 44 A messenger from the'auns was latelie sent T'envite poorè tradesmen vnto merryment Bruers Taylors and cookes amongst the reste Envited ' were vnto that solenm feaste But they being verye busie annswerd thus Oh messenger saide they excuse thou vs Our leasure will not serue vs there to goe The Divell here on earth employes vs soe My Country'es French the Taylor cryes and I Must liue there-in else Frenchmen straight will die As th'ynglishe nation doe theire bellies cramm Soe wee our backs To them a nurse I am I 'me Englishe quoth the Cooke my Nation lookes For naught but meate good stomacks and good cookes Therefore should I to heaun my Country men Could not devise howe they should surfett then I 'me Dutch the Bruer cryes and should I clyme Aboue the cloudes before prefixed tyme Our nations soules beneathe hells pitt would sincke For dead theire hartes growe when they want good drinke Therefore tell God the Divell staies vs here To keepe our nations from ascending there 45 When Foxe-furr walkes he treades the formalst pace When Foxe-furr talkes hee talkes with grauest grace Hee licks not's lipps nor pickes his fingers endes But to formality eache motion tendes In all thinges Foxe-furs formall I his nose At all times with formallitie hee blowes At meate at mouthe hee formallie breakes winde From meate as formallie hee breakes behind Oh since graue Foxe-furr cann saie I and noe 〈◊〉 a sheere-towne Mayor maie passe I trow 46 Aske Crafte the Merchante whether hee doth walke Why to th'exchaunge quoth hee t'exchaunge some talke Askes ' ietting wife his lisping prettie bride To what greene banck that golden snake doth slide Shee lispes-out to my garden trulie sir But wott you what t' is thither draweth hir Oh sir that 's hir exchaunge shee walketh there Tex'change hir bodie in the open aire Hir prentize there his maisters factor proues And choppes such wares as merchantes wiues best loues 47 You Sailors yf you 'l wealthy-growe and thrive Steere suche a course as you maie fairelie wiue Gett you but bewtious wiues and you shall see Againste your comming home thei 'le loaded bee I costom-free your merchanntes loade em will And with best wares your wiues ware-howsen fill 48 While Sea-horse gallopps ouer gulfes and sandes Entending to discouer vnknowne landes At home hee leaues his marchannt with his wife Who sailes with hir yet nere adventers life Nowe on a ruffe waues back his friggot daunceth Anon t' a vaultie hollowe downe it channceth Nowe is shee toste anon turnd o're and ouer Vnder nowe a non shee manlie doth recouer thus on lande strannge straightes hee seekes to find Runing his course soe longe as good 's his winde In hir hee rows but all 's discou'ries 〈◊〉 49 Ther'es three thinges makes me think that cittie wiues Are least infected with these papiste liues The firste is this they keepe noe hollidaies For then they are most occupyde men saies The second is to see them croste t' is rare For Townsmens wiues but sisdom crossed are The third is this this often hath beene tryde Fastinge and prayers they cannot well abide Ill Nunns they 'd make for who of late did see A London girll that did vowe chastetee 50 A souldyer Lawyer and a Cytizen In thicke-wide Forreste once these wandring men Had loste them selues but Fortune did provide For eache of these a beaste to bee his guide Vnto the souldyer with a mild-maiestick grace A princelie Lyon gentlye bent his pace Vnto the Lawyer did the subtill Foxe Two to the Townsman went the Ass the Oxe Eache telling in theire languadge howe that they Would t'eache of them a guider bee in 's waie The firste the Lyon thankes thother the oxe The Townsman thankes and followes th'Asse thoxe But most in gratefull hee in humane borne Robbes the mild asse ofs ' witt and th'oxe ofs ' horne 51 I' st not a braue life hoe to serue a Lorde It s naught but trusse his pointes and waite ats'borde A man shal bee assu'rd enoughe to eate Yf hee catche bones which hath enough of meate The life hath ease a man neede ueuer stirr Lesse whens Lorde t' aske doe you call mee sir. 52 Had I a thousand girles noe care I 'de take For those my girles portions to scrape or rake I 'de make em chamber maides or else they should Bee wayting gentlewomen If I could Were they not then card'-for then yf they will Vnder theire lordes they maie bee getting still 53 Ist not straunge that Townsmen daielie eates Fatt uenison as oft as other meates Noe t is not straunge for theire sweete wiues may haue As manie warrants as thei 'le euer craue Pure soules if they but lispe-out praye my Lord Giue me a warrant tha'ue it at firste worde Lordes are kinde to giue and a Cittie dame To begg a warrant neuer holdes it shame 54 Nowe good sir Iohn the beggar cryes I praie Bestowe your worshipps almes on mee to daie Releeue my wantes quoth hee I am your brother Wee borne-are one to helpe and ayde an