Mankind they allow not to Persons of the Quality that are of a different Opinion from themselves To avoid and flee from the Company where a Curate is as if it were a Pest-house is a common sign of Grace To affront a Prelate openly is a most meritorious Work and such as becomes a true Saint To approve and applaud the Murtherers of the Archbishop of St. Andrews is an infallible Evidence of one thoroughly reformed That the World may be satisfied of their Behaviour towards ordinary Men I shall give you some late Instances of their Carriage towards those of the highest Rank and Quality the matters of Fact are such as are known to be true by Multitudes of People before whom they were acted and themseves have the Impudence still to Glory in them and yet I will not say but some of the Party may deny them upon occasion at Court as they do other things as evident for I know what Metal their Foreheads are made of 1. Then when their Majesties Privy Council by advice of all the Judges conform to a standing Act of Parliament and common Practice appointed a Sermon upon the thirtieth Day of January 1690 The Council some time before sent a Person of Quality one of their own Stamp and Kidney to the Commissioners of the General Assembly to desire them in their Majesties and Council's Name to appoint one of their number to preach before them in St. Giles's Church on that Day and to put them in mind that it was the Anniversary for the Martyrdom of King Charles the First and that a Sermon proper for the occasion was expected according to the Religion Law and Custom of the Nation The grave Noddies of the Assembly answer'd thus Let the Council to do their own Business for we are to receive no Directions from the State nor to the take our Measures from the Council especiallly in preaching Anniversary-Sermons Upon which they appointed Shields a Cameronian one of the most wild and violent of the Hill-men to preach in the Tron-Church where-in they used to have Weekly Lectures as it happened upon that Day of the Week but where neither the Lords of Council nor Judges were used to come All that he spoke concerning the King's Murther was this Ye Sirs perhaps some of you may foolishly fanoy that I came here to day to preach to you concerning the Death of King Charles the First What preach for a Man that died forty Years ago if it be true what some Histories tells of him he is very mach wronged but if it be true what we believe of him and have ground for he is suffering the Vengeance of God in Hell this day for his own and Fore-fathers Sing The same Shields as he was holding forth sometime before at Edinburgh said That for ought he saw King William and Queen Mary were rather seeking an earthly Crown to themselves than seeking to put the Crown on Christ's Head That is in the Conventicle stile to settle Presbyterian Government This same Year again they peremptorily refused and despised the Privy Council's Order requiring them according to a standing Act of Parliament to preach upon that day 2. Inst Mr. Areskme preaching in the Tron Church at Edinburgh the day after the King by open Proclamation had adjourned the General Assembly said Sirs Ye heard a strange Proclamation the other day which I hope the Authors of may Repent some day It brings to my mind Sirs an old story of King Cyrus who once set his Hands fairly to the building of God's House but his Hand was not well in the Work when he drew it out again All is well that ends well Sirs for what think ye become of King Cyrus Sirs I 'll tell you that Sirs He e'en made an ill end he e'en died a bloody death in a strange Land I wish the like may not befal our King they say Comparisons are odious but I hope ye will not think that Scripture-comparisons are so whatever you may think I am sure of this that no King but King Jesus had Power to Adjourn our General Assembly This was spoken so lately before so great an Auditory that whatever Rule may say in his next Book yet I think the Author himself will not have the Impudence to deny it 3. When last Summer their Commissioners returned from King William in Flanders and told the General Assembly That the King had possitively told them that he would not any longer suffer them to oppress and persecute the Episcopal Subjects and desired them in his Name to acquaint the General Assembly with his Mind that for the time to come they should proceed more moderately otherwise he would let them know that he is their Master The Moderators said openly That if it were not for the great Army he had with him he durst not have said so to them and however he had been wiser to have held his peace for that they own'd no Master but Christ When King William in January last desired them by his Letter to the General Assembly to re-admit into the Exercise of the Ministry so many of the Episcopal Presbyters as should be willing to submit to and comply with a Formula which his Majesty sent to them and appointed to be the Terms of Communion betwixt the Parties This Proposal of Peace and Union which moderate Presbyterians might have been thought to have rejoyced in was insolently rejected and exclaimed against by all the Assembly except one Mr. Orack Then the common discourse and preaching of Presbyterians was That King William design'd to Dethrone King Jesus that the prescribing to them any Formula was an Incroachment upon Christ's Kingdom and a violent Usurpation of his Priviledges that any Formula but the Covenant is of the Devil 's making and ought not to be tolerated by Presbyterians The Moderator of the General Assembly in his Prayer immediately after its Dissolution reflected upon King William as sent in Wrath to be a Curse to God's Kirk He and the whole Assembly protested against the King's Power to dissolve them and before his Commissioner disclaim'd all his Authority that way Afterwards to make their Testimony that 's their word for Treason publick they went to the Cross of Edinburgh and took a formal Protestation after the old manner against the King in behalf of the People of God by which they intend their own Subjects The Magnanimous Earl of Crawford vowed before the Commissioners that he would adhere to the Protestation with his Life and Fortune two things equally great and valuable Their ordinary Doctrine and Discourse in the Pulpit and out of it speaking of the Kirk and King is Deliverance will come from another hand but thou and thy house shall perish Mr. Matthew Red holding forth the New Gospel at his Kirk in North Berwick Feb. 20th 1691-92 said The Kirk of Scotland is presently under the same condition that David was when he was so sore persecuted and pursued by Saul that he seemed to
Fitch-cape hath done to you now that ye may be kept out of his Gripes let us pray Another Lecturing on the first of Job said Sirs I will tell you this Story very plainly The Devil comes to God one day God said What now Deel thou foul thief whither are you going I am going up and down now Lord you have put me away from you now I must even do for my self now Well well Deel says God all the World kens that it is your fault but do not you know that I have an honest Servant they call Job is not he an honest Man Deel Sorrow to his thank says the Deel you make his Cup stand full even you make his Pot play well but give him a cuff I 'll hazard he 'll be as ill as I am called Go Deel says God I 'll yoke his Honesty with you Fell his Cows worry his Sheep do all mischief ye can but for the very Saul of you touch not a hair of his Tail Mr. Robert Blair that famous Presbyterian Preacher at St. Andrews was very much thought of for his familiar way of Preaching He preached often against the observation of Christmass and once in this Scotch jingle You will say Sirs Good old Youle-day I 'll tell you Good old Fool-day You will say It is a brave Haly-day I tell you it is a brave Belly-day you will say these are bonny Formalities but I tell you they are bonny Fartalities Another enveighing against the Vanity and Gaddiness of Women spake thus Behold the Vanity of Women look to them you 'll see first a Sattin Peticoat lift that there is a Tabby Petticoat lift that there is a Flanning Petticoat lift that there is a Holland Smarck lift that and there you will see what they ought not to be proud of that 's no very cleanly spectacle Eve said he was never so vain she sought no covering but Fig-leaves Mr. Simple whom I named before told That Samson was the greatest fool that ever was born for he revealed his Secrets to a Daft hussie Samson you may well call him Fool Thomson for of all the John Thomson's men that ever was he was the foolest I have a Sermon of theirs written from the Preachers Mouth by one of their own Zealots whereof this is one passage Jacob began to wrestle with God an able hand forsooth I Sirs but he had a good Second that was Faith Faith and God gave two or three tousles together at last God Dings down Faith on its bottom Faith gets up to his Heels and says Well God is this your Promise to me I trow I have a Ticket in my Pocket here Faith brings out the Ticket and stops it in God's hand and said Now God! is not this your own Write deny your own Hand-write if you dare Are these the Promises you gave me Look how you guide me when I come to you God reads the Ticket and said Well well Faith I remember I gave you such a Promise good sooth Faith if you had been another thou should get all the Bones in thy Skin broken Mr. John Welsh a Man of great esteem among their Vulgar once preaching on these words of Joshua As for me and my House we will serve the Lord c. had this Preface You think Sirs that I am come here to preach the old jocktrot Faith and Repentance to you not I indeed what think you then I am come to preach I come to preach a broken Covenant Who brake it Even the Devils Lairds his Bishops and his Curates and the Deel Deel will get them all at last I know some of you are come out of Curiosity to hear what the Whigs will say Who is a Whig Sirs One that will not Swear nor Curse nor Bann there a Whig to you But you are welcome Sirs that come out of Curiosity you may get go e're ye good back again I 'll give you an Instance of it There was Zaccheus a Man of a low stature that is a little droichy body and a Publican that is he was one of the Excise-men he went out of Curiosity to see Christ and because he was little he went up a Tree Do you think Sirs he went to harry a Pyet's Nest No he went to see Christ Christ looks up and says Zaccheus thou' rt always proving pratticks thou' rt no Bairn now go home go home and make ready my Dinner I 'll be with you this day at Noon After that Sirs this little Zaccheus began to say his Prayers Evening and Morning as honest old Joshua did in my Text As for me and my House c. as if he had said Go you to the Devil and you will and I and my House will say our Prayers Sirs as Zaccheus and the rest of the Apostles did Another time preaching in East Lotham he told them the great danger of hearing the Curates in these words Sirs if ever you hear these Rogues you will cry out at the day of Judgment O Arthur-seat fall upon us O Pentland Hills fall upon us The Grass and the Corn that you see growing there will be a Witness against you yea and that Cows Horns Passing by will be a Witness against you Another Preaching about God's sending Jonah to Nineveh acted it thus did you never hear tell of a good God and a cappet Prophet Sirs The good God said Jonah now billy Jonah wilt thou go to Nineveh for ald lang syne The Deel be on my feet then said Jonah O Jonah said the good God be not ill natured they are my people What care I for you or your people either said the cappet Prophet wherefore shall I go to be made a lyar in my face I know thou will have mercy on that people Alas alas we bide not the tenth part of that bidding yet when we come to you I fear we 'l find you like Ephraim a Cake unturn'd that is it 's stonehard on one side and skitter-raw on the other Another Preaching in the West near a Mountain called Tineock cried out in a loud voice thus What think you Sirs would the Curates do with Christ if they had him they would e'en take him up to Tintock top cut off his head and hurle his head down the hill and laugh at it Another in the South of Teviotdale in his Sermon said Our Neighbour Nation will say of us poor Scotland beggarly Scotland scabbed Scotland lousie Scotland yea but Covenanted Scotland that makes amends for all One Preaching against Bishops expressed himself thus Sirs at the day of Judgment Christ will call the Prelates and he will call one of the falsest Knaves first and say Come hither Sirrah he will not call my Lord do you remember how you put out sike a sweet Saint of mine upon such and such a day Sirrah do you mind how you persecuted one of my precious Saints that was Preaching my Word Come
hast rejected that we seek it is King Christ that has been a stranger these many years in poor Scotland It is reported of Mr. Robert Blair at St. Andrews that he had this expression in his Prayers Lord thou art a good Goose for thou art still dropping And severals in the Meeting-houses of late have made use of it to which they add Lord thou rains down middings of blessings upon us Mr. Anderson a Phanatick Preacher in Perthshire in a Prayer said Good Lord it is told us That thou knows a proud man by his looks as well as a malignant by his works but what tilt thou do with these malignants I 'll tell thee Lord what thou wilt do Even take them up by the heels and reest them in the Chimney of Hell and dry them like Bervy Haddocks Lord take the Pistol of thy Vengeance and the Mortar-piece of thy Wrath and make the hairns of these malignants a hodge podge but for thy own Bairns Lord feed them with the Plumdames and Raisons of thy Promises and e'en give them the Spurs of Confidence and Boots of Hope that like new spean'd fillies they may soup over the fold-dikes of Grace A learned Divine of that Sett at Pitsligo in his publick Prayer this last Summer said O Lord thou' rt like a Mousie peeping out at the hole of a Wall for thou sees us but we see not thee Mr. William Moncrif whom I named before pag. after his Sermon is Summer last at Largo in Fife in the Intercession of his Prayer said O God establish and confirm thy Church in Scotland and defend her from her bloody and cruel Enemies Popery and Prelacy O Lord prosper thy reformed Churches of Portugal and Piedmont and of the rest of the Low Countries and carry on thy work which is begun in Ireland and sweet good Lord finally begin and carry on a work in England Mr. Shields preaching near Dumfreis in his Prayer for K William said Good Lord bless him with a stated opposition in his Heart to the Antichristian Church of England and with Grace to destroy all the Idolatry and Superstition of their foolish and foppish Worship and bless all the people of the Land with Strength Zeal and Courage throughly to reform the State as well as the Church in these Kingdoms that they may be untied in the Bond of the Solemn League and Covenant and purified according to that pattern in the Mount which we and our Posterity are all sworn to Mr. John Welsh pray'd Lord we are come hither a pack of poor Beggers of us the day alms to the poor blind here for God's sake that never saw the light of the Gospel alms to the poor deaf here that never heard the joyful sound to the poor Cripples that have their Legs the Covenant broken by the Bishops Lord pity thy poor Kirk the day poor Woman sad is she Lord lend her a lift and God confound that filthy bitch that Gumgal'd Whore the Whore of Babylon One Mr. Hustone said Lord give us Grace for if theu give us not Grace we shall not give thee Glory and who will win by that Lord One Bâ—rlands in Gallowshiels a blasphemous ignorant Blockhead said in his Prayers before Sermon Lord when thou was electing to Eternity grant that we have not got a wrong cast of thy hand to our Souls Another time praying at Jedburgh he said Lord confound the Tyrant of France God's Vengeance light on him the Vengeance of God light on him God's Vengeance light on him but if he be of the Election of Grace Lord save him Lord confound the Antichristian crew in Ireland indeed Lord for the great man time heads them God knows we wish not his destruction we wish him Repentance of his sins but not the rest As for the crew of the Church of England that 's gone in to fight against them they are as profane a crew as themselves Lord but thou can make one man destroy another for the Interest of the people of God and to give Gods people Elbow-room in the Land One who is now a Head of a Colledge and is look't upon by the party as their great Advocate and Oracle in a publick Congregation at Edenburgh 1690 in his Prayer had these words which one that heard them and immediately committed them to Writing shewed to me O Lord give us give us good Lord but Lord you 'll may be say to us Ye are always troubling me what shall I give you now but Lord whatever thou says we know that thou in thy hart likes such trouble and now I 'll tell thee what thou should give us Lord I 'll not be greedy nor misleard now Lord then only give us thy self in earnest of better things Good Lord what have ye been doing all this time where have you been this 30 year What good have ye done to your poor Kirk in Scotland that has been so many years spurgal'd with Antichrist's riding her she has been long lying on her back and sadly defiled and many a good lift have we lent her O how often have we put our Shoulders to Christs Cause when his own back was at the Wall to be free with you Lord we have done many things for thee that never enter'd in thy noddle and yet we are content that thou take all the glory is not that fair and kind It 's true good Lord you have done gelly well for Scotland now at last and we hope that thou hast begun and will carry ony thy work in England that stands muckle in mister of a Reformation but what have you done for Ireland Lord ah poor Ireland then pointing with his Finger to his Nose he said I true I have nickt you there Lord. O God thou hast bidden us pray for Kings and yet they have been always very troublesome to thy Kirk and very fasious Company Lord either make them good or else make us quite of their Company They say that this new King thou hast sent us takes the Sacrament kneeling and from the hand of a Bishop ah that 's black that 's fowl work Lord deliver him from Papary and Prelacy from a Dutch Conscience and from the hardheartedness of the Stewarts and let us never be trysted again with the bag and baggage of the Family the black band of Bishops to trouble and lord it over thy Church and Heritage Good Lord send back our old King of poor Scotland restore him to his Throne and Dignity to his absolute Power and Superemacy from which he he hat been so long and so unjustly banished Lord you ken what King I mean I do not mean K. James na forsooth I do no mean him I mean Lord you ken well enough wha I mean I mean sweet K. Jesus that 's been long kept out of this his own Covenanted Kingdom by the Bishops and Godless Act of Supremacy Lord I have many more tales to
appear in person at it It is to you that the Nation owes her miraculous deliverance from the Idolatries of the Creed Lords-Prayer and Gloria Patri It 's your Lp. that hath rescued us from the Superstitions of observing Christmass Easter and Whitsunday and from all the Popish fopperies of Cassocks close sleev'd Gowns and Girdles It 's your Lp. that enriched Their Majesties Treasure with the Revenues of fourteen fat Bishops and with admirable expedition have voided more than half of the Churches of the Kingdom and advanced such a set of Preachers as it is certain never flourished in any period of the Church of Scotland under any of their Majesties Predecessors and now that some malignant Lords have been brought into the Council again your Lp. hath retir'd from it bravely scorning to sit at the same Board with the Opposers of the Cause My L. tho' the times have been reeling and dangerous yet your Lp. has by extraordinary management put your self beyond the greatest reach and Malice of Fortune for you have indeed deserved well of all Parties K. James is obliged to thank you for the real Service you have done him and K. William for your good Will to serve His Majesty The Presbyterian Clergy own their good Livings to you and the Episcopal Divines are bound to you for advancing them to the Honour of being Confessors The stubborn Highlanders owe all their Composition-money to your Lp and the West Country Rabble were highly enriched by your Lp's Countenauce and Protection You scorn that malignant way of making your Palace a Cooks Shop for Strangers but tho' your Commons be short yet it 's well known that your Graces are long at least after Dinner the full length of a Curates Sermon and that is three quarters of an hour There is one thing more that your Lordship is most remarkable for and that is your daily practice of Family Duty it 's well known that there have been more new Creatures begotten in your Lp's Family than in any other we have yet heard of and in this matter such is your great Goodness and Humility that you condescend often to allow to some of your Servants the Paternal Honour that 's known to be due to your Lp. But all these and many more such like extraordinary Qualifications which the World admire in your Lordship are nothing to those Supernatural Gifts and Graces which are so evident in all your Actions that you often take God to witness that you never make one step without the special Assistance and Direction of the Holy Ghost My L. these and other Reasons that I now omit since I hope this shall not be the last Address of this nature makes me bold to give your Lp. this trouble and humbly to beg your Protection to what you so much value and that you would but once at least grant the Petition of My L. Your Lp's most Obedient and most Obliged Servant Jacob Curate SECT 1. The true Character of the Presbyterian Pastors and People in Scotland OUR Blessed Saviour in his Sermon on the Mount bids us beware of false Teachers and tells us That by their Fruits we may know them Such Fruits are not open and publick Scandals for then the simple Multitude that measure Religion by the Sound and not by the Sense could not so easily be deluded by them It must be acknowledged that the End of Preaching should be the Edification of the Hearers the Design of it being to perswade Men to Piety towards God and Charity towards one another and to draw the Image of God upon the Souls of Men. But it will appear from what follows That the Scotch Presbyterians Sermons have no such tendency for the Preachers themselves who would have the world believe that they only are the Powerful and Soul-refreshing Gospellers have not been industrious to draw the likeness of God upon the Hearts of their Hearers but meerly to impress their own Image there that is they labour'd not to make good Christians but rigid Prebyterians That I may not be thought to assert this without ground for I would not slander the Devil I shall first give you the true Character of the Presbyterian Pastors and People 2. I shall say before you some remarkable passages taken out of their own Printed Books to confirm this Character 3. Some special Notes written from their own Mouths as they preach'd them under the happy Reign of K. Charles II and since the late Revolution Lastly I shall give you some taste of that Extemporary Gibberish which they use instead of Prayer and for which they have justled out not only all the Liturgies of the Pure and Primitive Church but even the Lord's Prayer it self because it is an evident Argument and Pattern for Christians praying in a set Form and in all this I shall say nothing but what I know to be true and what I am ready to make appear to be so upon a fair and free tryal if that may be had where Presbyterians Rule In the first Place then I am to give you the true Character of Presbyterian Pastors and People I shall begin with the People for they are truly the Guides and their Pastors must follow them whom they pretend to Conduct For the Preachers of the new Gospel knowing that their trade hath no old nor sure Foundation they are forced to flee to this new and unaccountable Notion that the Calling and Constituting of Ministers is in the Power of the Mob Now the World knows by too long and sad Experience that their Mobile is not led by Reason nor Religion but by Fancy and Imagination so that we may be sure when the Election of Ministers is put in their hands they will chuse none but such as will readily sooth and indulge them in their most extravagant and mad Humors What Ministers can be expected from the choice of a People void of common Sense and guided by irregular Passions who torture the Scripture making it speak the Language of their deluded Imaginations They will tell you that ye ought to fight the Battels of the Lord because the Scripture says in the Epistle to the Hebrews Without shedding of Blood there is no Remission They are generally Covetous and Deceitful and the Preaching they are bred with hath no tendency to work them into the contrary Virtues They call Peace Love Charity and Justice not Gospel but dry Morality only I had once very great difficulty to convince one of them that it was a Sin for him to cheat and impose upon his Neighbour in matters of Trade by concealing the faults of his Goods from the Buyer He ask'd my Reason I told him Because he would not wish one to deal so with himself That is said he again but Morality for if I shall believe in Christ I shall be saved I ask'd him Was not this Christ's saying Whatsoever ye would that others should do unto you that do you unto others Yes he said that was good but
in a Garret and she hearing some body coming up Stairs she said to him Ah here 's my Aunt I must devise a Trick to divert her upon which she â—ell a whining and howling aloud as these People use to do at their most private Devotions O to believe to believe O to have Experience said she And by that means she diverted her Aunts further Approaching who instantly retired commending her Niece's Zeal and Devotion The Gentleman conceals the Woman's Name out of regard to her Honour and his own begs Pardon for the Sin and tells it only to discover the abominable Nature of their Hypocrisie They are generally deluded by Persons that have but specious pretences to Godliness And such is the force that a loud Voice and a whining Tone in broken and smother'd words have upon the Animal Spirits of the Presbyterian Rabble that they look not upon a Man as endued with the Spirit of God without such canting and deformity of Holiness A person that hath the dexterity of whining may make a great Congreation of them weep with an Ode of Horace or Eclogue of Virgil especially if he can but drivel a little either at Mouth or Eyes when he repeats them And such a person may pass for a Soul-ravishing spiritualist if he can but set off his Nonsence with a wry mouth which with them is called A Grace pouring down Countenance The snuffling and twang of the Nose passes for the Gospel sound and the throwings of the Face for the motions of the Spirit They are more concerned at the reading the Speeches of their Covenant Martyrs yea such Martyrs as died for Rebellion and Murder than in reading the Martyrdom of St. Stephen or any of his Followers A Sermon of mere Railing and Nonsence will afâ—ect them more than Christ's Sermon on the Mount and no wonder for all they do is to affect the Passions and not the Judgment One Mr. Daniel Douglass an old Presbyterian Preacher in the Mers simple man as to the World yet of more Learning Ingenuity and good Nature than most of them he was not long agoe preaching before the meeting of his Brethren and agoe annalysing a Text Logically and very remote from vulgar Capacities yet so powerful and melting was his Tone and Actions that in the Congregation he spies a Woman weeping and pointing towards her he crys out Wife what makes you weep I am sure thou understandest not what I am saying my Disourse is directed to the Brethren and not to the like of you nay I question whether the Brethren themselves understand this that I am speaking Several Instances can be given of their strong delusions this is none of the least that they take it for a sure Evidence upon their Death-beds that it 's well with them because they never heard a Curate in their lifetime For an indulged Presbyterian who is the Author of the Review of the History of the Indulgence tells us thus much Page 527 and Page 528 That some of the leading people among the Presbyterians were of Opinion that Baptism by Episcopal Ministers is the mark of the Beast and the hearing of them as unlawful as Fornication Adultery or the worshipping the Calves of Dan and Bethel And I think that a Curate can tell no worse tale of them than this which a Presbyterian himself owns and declares to the World in Print I cannot here pass by what happen'd a few Years ago in the Parish of Tindrum in the South-west a person that was Executed for Bestiality there in his Prayers bless'd God that for a long time he had heard no Curate preach at which the Hearts of some Presbyterian Saints began to warm with Affection to him and exprest so much Charity that upon that account they doubted not but that he might be saved and were sorry that he was not allow'd to live because of the good that such a Zealous man might have done It is a well known truth in the Parish of Teviotdale that two or three sighing Sisters coming to a Man in Prison the Night before he was burnt for Bestiality the wholsomest Advice they gave him was this O Andrew Andrew Andrew all the Sins that ever you committed are nothing to your hearing the cursed Curates if you get Pardon for that Sin Andrew all is right with you A young Woman in Fife Daughter to a Presbyterian Preacher there reading that of St. Peter Christ the Bishop of our Souls blotted out the word Bishop and in the place thereof incerted Presbyterian of our Souls And by the same Spirit of Biggotry one of her Zealous Sisters in the same Family tore every where out of her Bible the word Lord Because said she it is polluted by being applied to the Profane Prelates Instances of their Madness and Delusions might swell into an huge Volume but I shall only mention two or three which are commonly known What greater Instance of Delusion than that Seven or Eight thousand people should be raised to Rebellion at Bothwel-bridge from laboring their ground and keeping their Sheep and that by Sermons assuring them that the very Windlestraws the Grass in the Field and Stars in Heaven would fight for them And that after the Victory they should possess the Kingdom themselves O it 's the promis'd Land and you Israelites shall inherit it but in this they found their Preachers to prove salve Prophets After their Defeat a Gentleman told me that going to view the Field where the Battle was fought he saw one in the Agony of death crying out Ah cheated out of Life and Soul The Gentleman inquired what he meant by that expression Ah said he our Preachers our Preachers they made us believe that as sure as the Bible was the word of God we should gain the day for that the Windlestraws should fight for us About the same time a person of Quality returning from the West with some of the King's Forces being necessitate to lodge in a Country House where there was but one Woman and she with child for the Men and all that were able to run had fled out of the way The Nobleman encouraged the poor Woman desiring her not to be afraid sent one upon his own Horse for Midwife and other Women to attend her The poor Woman surprised and encouraged with this unexpected kindness began to talk more freely and said Sir I see you that are Kings-men are not so ill as we heard ye were for we heard that it was ordinary for you to rip up Women with Child but pray will you tell me Sir what sort of Men are your Bishops They are said he very good Men and they are chosen out from among the Clergy to oversee the rest of the Ministers But are they says she shapen like other Men Why ask you that said he Because our Preachers made us believe the Bishops were all cloven-footed There is scarce one of an hundred among the Presbyterian Vulgar that will be either reason'd or laugh'd out of
the strange Opinions they have of Bishops as particularly that they will not suffer Witches to be burnt because as they alledge every Bishop loses five hundred Marks Scots for every Witch that 's burnt in his Diocess Nay the generality of The Presbyterian Rabble in the West will not believe that Bishops have any Shadows being perswaded by some of their Teachers that the Devil hath taken away their Shadow as an earnest of the Substance for their opposing of Covenant Work in the Land I shall add but one Instance more of the silliness of the Presbyterian People and that is of a certain person well known both in the North and South of Scotland for being not a degree and an half from an Idiot and to be a Man that can scarcely read an English Book This person takes on him to be a Preacher and among Presbyterian People has procured a great esteem to himself for a wonderful and rare Gospeller for having not the least degree either of natural or acquir'd Parts they therefore conclude him to have a large stock of Grace and to be a most heavenly Man He came lately to the Mers where he was never known before and lodging on a Saturday's Night in a Country-town he caused call in the good people in the Town to Prayers Immediately the House was fill'd with a Crow'd then he lectures to them on the first of Ezekiel and he told them that the Wheel spoken of in the Sixteenth Verse was the Antichrist and the Wheel in the middle was the Bishops and the Curates For says he here 's a Wheel within a Wheel just so the Curates are within the Bishops and both of them within Antichrist Then the Wheels are says my Text lifted up even so Beloved the Bishops and Curates are lifted up lifted up upon Coaches with four Wheels just as Sathan lifted up Christ to the Pinacle of the Temple but God will take the Hammer of the Covenant in his own Hand and knock down these proud Prelates and break all their Coaches and their Wheels to pieces Beloved and lay the Curates on their Backs so that they shall never rise again for the Prophet says here that when they went they went upon their four sides and they returned not when they went Beloved That you may see it very plain and clear for tho' they may go out and Persecute God's own Covenanted People yet they shall return falling upon their Broad-sides and get such a fall that they shall never be able to stand or return to persecute the Godly so long as they go upon their four sides and are lifted up upon four Wheels The people said they never heard such a sweet Tongue in a Gracious Man's Head He spoke much against those that took an Indulgence from K. James The next day he told them that the Episcopal Minister in the Parish was his Cousin therefore he would go to Church and hear how he could Preach Truly Sir says the people we shall go along with you wherever you go albeit it be our ordinary to go to the Meeting house in the Parish And that same very day he brought all the Dissenters in the Parish to the Church The people intreated him to deal with the Minister to turn Presbyterian and promis'd to desert the Meeting-house Preacher whom they ordinarily heard and to hear the Episcopal Minister upon his Conversion He promised to deal very seriously with him For that purpose the next day he came to the Ministers House and after a few sighs and affected groans he expostulates thus Dear Cousin what makes you own perjur'd Episcopacy What have you to say against that Office replies the Minister I have many Arguments said he and one I am sure you can never answer and you will find it in Psal 45. 1. My Heart enditeth a good thing Now is not this says he a plain Argument agaist Bishops for when will they endite good things The people wondered that the Minister could not be perswaded by so clear an Argument and said Poor Soul his Heart is heardened he has not Grace enough to believe and be Converted This Account is proved before very many famous witnesses in the City of Edinburgh All I have told of them is truth but the hundred part is not told You may judge of the Tree by these Fruits and of what a delicate Set of Reformers we have at his time in the West and South of Scotland I come in the next place to give you a true Character of their Preachers And truly to be plain they are a Proud Sour Inconversable Tribe looking perfectly like the Pharisees having Faces like their horrid Decree of Reprobation They are without Humanity void of common Civility as well as Catholick Charity so wholly enslaved to the Humours of their people that they give no other Reason why they converse not with Men of a different Opinon but only that their People would take it very ill if they should However I fear there is something in it more and that is lest their Ignorance should be discover'd for it 's certain they have as little Learning as good Nature And we have both felt and seen that that is next Neighbour to none at all They have their Souls cast into a different mould from all Christians in the World There is no Church but they differ from both in Worship and Practice They have quite banish'd the use of the Lord's Prayer and what ridiculous stuff they have foisted in for it shall be told in its proper Place The smoothest reason that they alledge for their forbearing it is That the use thereof is inconvenient This is Dr. Rule 's own Reason in that pretended Answer he has published to the Ten Questions concerning Episcopal and Presbyterian Government in Scotland Their famous Preacher James Kirktown when one of the Magistrates of Edenburgh enquired why they did forbear the publick use of the Lord's Prayer told down-right because it was the badge of the Episcopal Worship I doubt not but many have heard long ere now of a Conference that past betwixt my Lord B ... and a ruling Elder in the North. In short it is this Five Presbyterian Preachers last Year appointed themselves Judges to purge Two or Three Diocesses in the North. They took to assist or to accompany them some whom they call Ruling-Elders one of whom entreated my Lord B ... to further with his help the happy and blessed Reformation particularly by giving in Complaints against Ignorant Scandalous and Erroneous Ministers that the Church of God might be replenished with the Faithful Truly then saith my Lord there is one whom I can prove to be very Atheistical Ignorant and Scandalous At which the Ruling-Elder began to prick up is Ears And pray you Sir says he who is the Man Indeed says my Lord I will be free with you it is Mr. James Urquhart one of your own Preachers who is come with you now to sit as a Judge upon others
and by Witnesses of unquestionable Honesty I can make it appear that he said If ever Christ was drunk upon Earth it was when he made the Lords Prayer And I appeal to your self who are a Ruling-Elder whether or not this be Blasphemy Some other things of Scandalous Nature I can prove against him O but says he we are not come here to Judge our Brethren our Business is with the Curates It is ordinary to hear their People say That if Christ were on Earth again he would think shame of that Form that they could make better themselves and that he was but young when he compos'd it All which Blasphemies must needs be the Effects or Consequent of what they hear from their Preachers And as for the Apostles Creed it is not so much as once mentioned at the Baptising of Infants for all that they require at Baptism is That the Father promise to breed up the Child in the Belief of the Westminster Confession of Faith and that he shall adhere to all the National Engagements laying on them to be Presbyterians Here I cannot forget what Mr. John Dickson Preacher in the Meeting-House at Kelso said once in a Sermon Ask said he an old dying Wife if she hath any Evidence of Salvation she will tell you I hope so for I believe the Apostles Creed I am taken with the Lord's Prayer and I know my Duty to the be Ten Commands But I tell you Sirs there are but old rotten Wheel-barrows to carry Souls to Hell These are Idols that the false Prelates and Curates have set up to obstruct the Covenant and the Work of God in the Land For reading the Scriptures in Churches they have abolished that with the rest and in place thereof he that raises the Psalm reads the Sermon that was preach'd the Sabbath before And for the Gospel Hymn called the Doxology or Gloria Patri they reject that as a superstitious prelatical Addition to the Word of God A certain Maid being lately Catechised by one of these Preachers the first question he propos'd to her was Maggi Now what think you are the Saints doing in Heaven I know not Sir O Maggy that is a very easie question answer it Maggy I think then said she they are doing that in Heaven which ye will not let us do on Earth What is that Maggy says he They are singing Glory to the Father Son and Holy Ghost Sir Now that is your Mistake Maggy said he for there 's no such malignant Songs sung there you have been quite wrong taught Maggy the Curates have deceived you Maggy They have no distinguishing Garb from Lay-men and yet they took upon them to admonish the King's Commissioner to their last Assembly for wearing a Scarlet Cloak and told him plainly That it was not decent for his Grace to appear before them in such a Garb upon which my Lord told them That he thought it as undecent for them to appear before him in gray Cloaks and Cravats When the Church of Arrol was last Year made Vacant by the Expulsion of the Reverend and Learned Dr. Niclson the Elders and Heritors there whereof many were Gentlemen of the best quality met together that according to the present Law and constant Practice of the Presbyterians they might chuse and call another Minister to be their Parson after they had unanimously agreed and sign'd and sent a formal Legal Call to Mr. Lisk a person of indisputable Qualifications for the Ministry in which he has been imploy'd with great Reputation for several Years in the North and one who has given signal Evidence of his good Affections to heir present Majesties my Lord Kinnard Chief Heritor went with the rest to signifie their Calling of Mr. Lisk to the Presbytery at my Lords entering into the place where the Presbytery was sitting he ask'd if they were the Ministers of the Presbytery Do not you see that we are said the Moderator My Lord replied That by their Garb no Body could know them and that their Spirit was invisible now whether it was for this Jest or because they knew Mr. Lisk to be Episcopal in his Judgment I know not but this I know that these grave New Gospellers rejected the Call in despite both of the Heritors and of their own Law brought in a Hot-headed Young Man of their own Stamp and Election However that they use no distinguishing Garb must be acknowledged to be very Congruous for truly they are but Laicks and it will surpass all their Learning to prove that they are Ministers of Jesus Christ but meerly Preachers sent and call'd by the People who are generally but very ill Judges of Mens Qualifications for the Ministry hence their constant and vast Heats and Divisions about their calling of able Men. The Mobile ordinarily take their Measures only from the appearances of things and indeed a Presbyterian Preachers Out-side is not his worst for they appear commonly though in Lay-garb yet in Sheeps-clothing but as we have often formerly so do we now feel that they are inwardly nothing but ravenous Wolves Now as to their Sermons which is the main design of this Paper they are still upon the Government and the Times preaching up the Excellency of their Kirk-Government which they call Christ the Crown Scepter and Government of Christ This was an old Custom among them to preach up the Times and the neglect thereof they call'd sinful Silence When in the former Confusions of the State they violently intruded themselves and Usurped the Government of the Church which they never had in settled Times In those Days at a publick Synod they openly reproved one Mr. Lighton for not preaching up the Times Who saith he doth preach up the Times It was answer'd That all the Brethren did it The says Mr. Lighton if all you preach up the Times you may allow one poor Brother to preach up Christ Jesus and Eternity But this was never not is like to be the Design of their Sermons for trace them in their Politicks Morals Mysticks and Metaphysicks you shall find them Selfish Singular and full of Nonsensick Rhapsodies These perhaps may seem hard Words but an Aethiopian must be painted black and that 's no sault in the Painter For their Politicks there is no Government under the Sun could tolerate them if they but act in other Nations as they have done in Scotland since their Intrusion there to instance but in our Times Did nor Mr. Cargill one of their Celebrated Preachers Excommunicate all the Royal Family the Bishops and Curates and all that should hear them and adhere to them They indeed that affect the Name of Sober Presbyterians disown'd these Hill-men particularly because they refused to join with them in thanking King James for the Toleration which he granted to them And yet such is the Disingenuity of these who would be called Sober Presbyterians that they cry out that they suffered Persecution whereas it was the Cameronians only whom they disown that
did suffer any thing For these others were settled in Churches by an Indulgence granted by the King Against which Indulgence all the Sufferers like true Presbyterians gave their Testimony calling it a meer brat of Erastianism What Government could tolerate such Ministers as John Deckson whom I named before who in a Sermon Preached by him in the Parish of Gallashiels declar'd That it was all one to Sacrifice to Devils as to pay Cess to King Charles The Author of the Review of the History of Indulgence one of the Sober sort of Presbyterians tells Page 610. the same of a Preacher of his Acquaintance I shall say no more of their Sentiments concerning Government but only referr the Readers to their Printed Acts of General Assemblies and to those Covenants which themselves have Printed often Subscribed and Sworn and which are now again for the benefit of Strangers published in that Excellent Vindication of King Charles II. his Happy Government in Scotland by Sir George Mac Kenze in which it's Evident that they plainly renounce Monarchy and all Power but that of the Covenanted Kirk As to their Disposition to live peaceably I appeal not only to their Principles vented in these Covenants and Acts of their general Assemblies but also to the many private Murthers and open Rebellions which they have been guilty of under every Reign since their first entry into Britain Even in our own Days since 1666 they have raised no less than Three formidable Rebellions besides many lesser Insurrections and Tumults wherein many Christians have suffered With what Violence did they flee to Arms and persecute all who were not of their Party upon the occasion of the late Revolution when if it had not been for their indiscreet and fiery Zeal this Kingdom might have been happily united to England But what ever Advantage such an Union might have brought to the Church and State yet because it seemed to have no good Aspect to the covenanted cause therefore the motion of it though offered was industriously stifled and that Opportunity which we can hardly hope to recover quite lost Nay under the present Government for which they in the beginning pretended to be so zealous 't is well known over all the Kingdom that they were last Year contriving by force without any regard to Authority to have the Solemn League renewed and imposed after the old manner upon all Men Women and Children and in order to this good end many Thousands of them at Field meetings in the West conveened after their ordinary way with Bibles and Musquets Psalm-Books and rusty Swords and subscrbed a new Association for raising of Men Horse and Arms to advance the Old Cause repurge the holy Kirk and make a thorow Reformation in the Land But I shall take occasion by and by to give you some later and more evident Instances of their Neglect and Contempt of their present Governors In the next place survey them in their Learning and you shall find that it lies only in the study of some Anti-Arminian Metaphysicks and in the practical Divinity they pretend to draw from the Heads of Election and Reprobation whereby they preach Men out of their Wits and very often into Despair and Self-murder It 's generally known that Joseph Brodie Preacher in Forress in the time of the late Presbytery did in the presence of a very Learned and Eminent Person take occasion in the Pulpit to speak of a poor Man who was then in such a desperate Condition that it was judg'd necessary to bind up his Hands lest otherwise he should cut his own Throat as he continually threatned of this desperate Wretch the pious Preacher above-named pronounced thus Sirs this is the best Man in my Parish would to God ye were all like him he does truely fear Reprobation which most of you are not aware of There is a common printed Pamphlet compos'd and publish'd by a Presbyterian Preacher concerning one Bessie Clarkson a Woman that lived at Lanark who was three Years in despair or to speak in their Cant under Exercise Whosoever reads that Pamphlet will find that the poor Woman's Distemper proceeded only form their indiscreet Preaching representing God as a sower severe and unmerciful Being It is known in the Shire of Teviotdale that Mr. William Veach murder'd the Bodies as well as Souls of two or three Persons with one Sermon For preaching in the Town of Jedburgh to a great Congregation he said There are Tow thousand of you here to day but I am sure Fourscore of you will not he saved upon which Three of his ignorant Hearers being in Despair dispatched themselves soon after And lately in Edenburgh Mr. James Kirkton the Everlasting Comedian of their Party one of their famous Preachers in that City praying publickly for a poor Woman much troubled in Spirit said A wholesome Disease good Lord a wholesome Disease Lord for the Soul Alas said he few in the Land are troubled with this Disease Lord grant that she may have many fellows in this Disease Not only do they make their People distracted with such desperate Doctrine as this but moreover they incourage them in direct Impieties Mr. Selkirk preaching at Musselburgh expressed himself thus God seed no Sin in his Chosen Now Sirs be you guilty of Murder Adultery Bestiality or any other gross Sin if you be of the Election of Grace there is no fear of you for God sees no Sin in his Chosen covenanted People And this is consonant to an expression of Mr. Samuel Rutherford's printed Letters Hellfulls of Sins cannot separate is from Christ In the Parish of Mr. Macmath Minister of Leswade some of those who were lately the most active in persecuting and driving him form his Residence even after he had the Privy Councils Protection and a Guard assign'd him for his Defence have since suffer'd violent deaths two of them prevented the Hangman's pains by becoming their own Murtherers When the Earl of Lauderdale and Sir George Mackenzie dyed last year much about one time the party who pretend to unriddle all the most secret Causes of God's Providence called their Deaths a visible Judgment for their being Enemies to the good Cause altho' it be well known that both these honourable Persons dyed of a natural Death in a good age being both of them worn out with their great diligence in their King and Country's Service perhaps indeed their days were shortened by seeing such Firebrands able again to force themselves into the Church as had before ruin'd both it and the State and were the Scandal of Christianity as well as Disgrace of their Nation But when these abovenamed Self-Murtherers of the Parish of Leswade had divided Judas's death betwixt them the one hanging himself the other ripping up his own Belly till all his Bowels gushed out The Presbyterian Preacher in that Parish holding forth next Sunday was so ready of Invention as to find Arguments from thence for the Confirmation of the good Cause Ab Sirs says
all Obedience to the Civil Law and yet the Presbytery of Dalkeith permitted one Calderwood a declared Enemy of Mr. Heriot's and some others of his Accusers to sit as Judges among them and not only admitted but also invited and encouraged two or three Knights of the Post to swear That the Minister had danced about a Bon-fire the 14th of October 1688. And when it was made appear to the conviction of all Men that there was no Bon-fires in the Town upon that Day and that the Town was never wont to use any such Solemnity upon the occasion of that Day all that the Presbytery said was That they could not help it for the matter was sworn and deponed and and they behoved to proceed having a Call to Purge the Church Besides their not having good Notions of the Gospel nor of any good Heathen Morals one reason of their malicious and crabbed Nature may be that they never suffered Affliction for after they abdicated their Churches in 1662 they began every-where in their Sermons to cant about the Persecution of the Godly and to magnifie their own Sufferings by this means they were pamper'd instead of being persecuted some of the godly Sisters supplying them with plentiful Gratuities to their Families and Mony to their Purses they really lived better then ever they did before by their Stipends They themseves boasted that they were sure of Crowns for their Sufferings and that Angels visited them often in their Troubles and both were materially true I know severals of them who got Estates this way and that grew fat and lusty under their Persecutions Mr. Shields one of their honestest and best Writers being well acquainted with all that they suffered and a great Sharer in it glories in this that they were highly provided for in their greatest Difficulties and makes an Argument for it of their being God's People In his Annalysis as he calls it on the 29th of Deuteronomy delivered in a Discourse to the People on the Preparation-day before they renewed the Covenants p. 10. l. 8. these are his words Tho' in the Wilderness of Prelatick Erastian and Antichristian Vsurpations we did not meet with Miracles yet truly we have experienced Wonders of the Lord's Care and Kindness and for all the Harassings and Persecutions c. the poor Wilderness-Wanderers have look'd as Meat-like and Cloath-like a others that sat at Ease in their Houses and drank their Wine and their strong Drink The Party finding such good Fruits of their Itinerary Labours continued to preach the unthinking Mobile out of their Money and Senses and well as out of their Duty to God and Man receiving in the mean time instead of Cups of cold Water many Bowls of warm Sack the true Covenant-Liquor and the best Spirit that inspires the New Gospellers By these means the Malignity of their Nature was rather kindled than abated the only Men and suffered any thing being the poor silly Plow-men and Shepherds in the West whom the false Teachers hounded out to die for a broken Covenant It 's true indeed that many such Men being deluded into several Rebellions put the State under a necessity of defending it self by punishing some of them and killing others in Battels but yet before the danger of these Battels the Preachers were generally so wise as to save themselves by running first for ad they been so honest as to have born but a part of these Burdens which they imposed upon their Proselytes or so couragious as to have but shew'd their Faces in the day of Battel to which they always sounded the Allarm by their Sermons then it 's like we should not have been now infested with such swarms of these Locusts as have over-spread our Land and again filled our King's Chambers as the Frogs and Lice of Aegypt did that of Pharaoh's Tho' upon certain occasions the more subtile and cunning Presbyterians knowing that no art can defend or disguise the unaccountable wildness and madness of some of their party are forc'd to disprove and condemn them Yet they never fail to make use of the Sufferings of these same wild Men to magnify that Persecution which themselves pretend to have undergone but had not the least share in Eminent instances of this we have in Rule 's late book To whom among other favours we owe this new distinction of wild and sober Presbyterians Truly if the Presbyterians had met with the same measure with which they formerly served the Prelatists if they had been used as they did good Bishop Wishart whom they made to lye seven Months in a dark stinking close Prison without the conveniency of so much as changing his Shirt but once so that he was like to be eaten up of himself and the Vermine which that nasty place produced its probable that by such Severities which I am glad they suffered not they might have been brought to something of that good Man's Christian Temper and Disposition And that this was very great the worst of themselves were constrained to own when upon changing of the Scene he being deservedly advanced to the Bishoprick of Edinburgh was so Charitable as to convey large supplies to such of them as were Imprison'd for their Notorious Rebellion at â—entland Hills 1666 and that without letting them know from what hand it came nay his Compassion to them was such that he continued such Presbyterian Preachers as were any thing tollerable in their Churches and Office without imposing on them the conditions of Conformity which the Law then required But now Presbyterian Preachers even those that are called the soberest as we may see by their daily Practices and Expressions are highly galled because they are not allowed to treat the Bishops and other Ministers of God's Word after the same Barbarous manner that they formerly did that is Hew them in pieces before the Lord as they were wont to Phrase it for they commonly compare Bishops to Agag and those ordained by them to the Amalekites The Episcopal Ministers and Rulers used all Christian and discreet Methods when they had Power to gain and oblige the Dissenters and to save them from the Penalties of the Law But now such is the ingratitude of some even of those same Presbyterians whom the Episcopal Ministers had saved from the Gibbet to which the Law had justly doomed them that they were the only Persons that invented false Stories forged malicious Lybels and raised Tumults against those very Ministers who had been formerly so exceeding kind to them we have but too many instances of their rendering Evil for Good in this manner And that which makes this the more strange and odious is that it is Acted under a pretence to Religion and Reformation and that the giddy People are instigated to this Wickedness by their Preachers I shall trouble the Reader at present only with two Particulars to this purpose Mr. Monro Parson of Sterling was lately lybelled and accused before the Brethren of the Inquisition by one
are to blame for it After all this if neither Bishops nor other Ministers neither Laick Lords nor Gentry both of the Scotch and English Nation must be allowed to have any Credit when they are brought by our Authors to attest known Truths and matters of Fact whereof they were Eye Witnesses then I beseech you why should men receive that high Character and Testimony which Mr. Rule gives of himself pag. 169 when he says He did not only practice Medicine but likewise took the Degree of Doctor in it yet never giving over the Work of preaching frequently This is a terrible Man indeed who it seems can kill both Soul and Body He is far stricter to the Covenanted Work than his Brethren the Presbyterians in England for they can upon occasion for Interest and other such holy Purposes unite and joyn with Independents whereas he like a man of unmoveable Conscience withstood the temptation of having an Independent Congregation at Aberdeen when great offers of that Charge were made to him there and in Northumberland he suffered no small loss because he would not fall in with that Independent way Again if you 'll believe himself he hat no want of Latin and that he speaks false Lattin is false he is ready as he hath done to give proof to the contrary and to compete with all such as pretend to it but when and where we must not know till Elias come Nay besides all this he hath an excellent hand at Latin Prayers which he can make longer or shorter as the occasion requireth but never so short as some men alledge neither doth he use to pray VERY LONG in publick even in English and that 's more indeed than any other of his Fraternity can alledge for themselves Long Prayers serve the Party for many great ends in them they can sound the Alarms to Rebellion commend themselves highly defame the King rail against and revile Malignants raise and inflame the Mob vent false News and Stories and many other Hocus tricks their long ex Trumpry Prayers serve for Moreover Mr. Rule to shew his Parts longs for an Adversary like himself I wish says he a Sciolist would make it appear by a Solid Refutation what Ignorance I have discovered in my Writings I am ready to defend it with all the probability the subject matter is capable of But my mistakes if I be in any must not pass for proofs of my Ignorance If any Momus will make his censure on the Presbyterian Government it 's like Mr. Rule the great Atlas of the Cause or some for him will give him a farther Answer Just such another as this exceeding civil and fair Vindication And then to conclude his own Character he assures us That he exceeds all other Presbyterians both in his tenderness to the Episcopal party and in his Argumentative way rather than bitterness of all which the new Gospel Modesty and Meekness the Candor Ingenuity and Argumentation that appears every where in his late Books is a sufficient evidence Now for a man to say all this of himself because no body else will this sure is teste me ipso with a witness unless it shall be allowed that Gilbert may witness for Rule and Rule again for Gilbert that the Doctor may witness for the Principal and the honest Principal again by way of Requital does the like kindness to his beloved Doctor this is the Presbyterian way of proving things by Witnesses Mr. Rule answers our Books so throughly that he imputes to the Authors as a fault in their Method every little escape of the Printers about wrong numbering the Pages which is frequently occasioned by sending one and the same Book to several Houses for the speedier dispatch however the Alphabetical numbering of the Sheets ordinarily serves to help the misplaced Figures but tho' Mr. Rule be often dabling about the Press yet it seems he either does not or he will not know this Mr. Rule at last to confirm all the Contradictions and Falshoods of his Book brings in Mr. Meldrum one of his own Kidney and just such another Scribler as appears by his Letter Page 195. where he says That the Prelatists way is to spread Reflective Pamphlets in England keeping them as secret as they can in Scotland where the falshood of matters of Fact are not known and they might soon have their Shame and Lying discovered None but a true Scots Presbyterian could have asserted this for he himself too well knows that his Party which domineers now in Scotland allows no Episcopal Pamphlets to be brought into or dispersed in that Kingdom and that sometime before the writing of his Letter several hundreds of these Pamphlets were by the Presbyterian Party seiz'd at Berwick to prevent their being dispersed in Scotland and that contrary to all the Rules of Justice and Commerce betwixt the two Nations and to the great prejudice of the Bookseller these Books are by the Arbitrary Power of Presbyterians still kept up But we shall allow Mr. Meldrum to be more candid in this than in his former dealings with us if he will but now obtain to us the common liberty of the Press in Scotland and then we promise that he shall have a sight of all our Pamphlets sine praetio aut praece which now he says he cannot obtain by either of these means Page 196 None but a Cameronian will assert as Mr. Meldrum does That the Covenant is a Sacred Oath just as Sacred as that by which the Jews bound themselves to murther St. Paul The World is not now ignorant how that Covenant was by Subjects who had no shadow or Authority pressed upon their Brethren in despite of the King at the expence of much Treasure and many thousand Lives and Perjuries Page 197. he says That the submitting of some who had been ordained only by Presbyterians to be re-ordained by Bishops is Scandalous None but one of Rule 's Evidences would have said this the Reformed French have been always justly reputed by all other Protestants for the great Learning and Piety of their Ministers and yet the most Learned and Pious of their Ministers at their coming into England when they could have the advantage of being Ordained by Bishops have chearfully not only submitted to it but begged it of the Right Reverend Fathers of the Church Of which we have many late Instances The account he gives of his shufling and shifting about the Oath of Canonical Obedience is very Comical for he owns That he Subscribed a Paper whereof he did not seriously consider either the words or the matter and he thinks himself sufficiently absolved from that because forsooth he was not present when that paper was read in the Church and by telling the People next Lord's day that he conceiv'd he had yielded to nothing but what he first offered which they that know the matter of Fact call Canonical Obedience for which if you 'll believe him he lamented several years after all
hinder the Work of Reformation The crying Sins of the Land which we should confess with sorrow before the Lord are That the Graceless Prelates and Curates are not hung up before the Sun and that Men should be so Godless as to assist the King in his distress before he had satisfied the Kirk by publick Penance for opposing the Work of God in the Covenant Jus Pop. Throughout Act General Assembly Aug. 13. 1650. Acknowledgment of Sins and Engagement to Duties appointed and published 1648. And again renewed at Lesmachago March 3. 1688. with Accommodation to the present times SECT III. Containing Notes of the Presbyterian Sermons taken in Writing from their Mouths AT first I begin with one I heard from Zetland who Preaching on David and Goliah he told the Hearers Sirs this David was but a little manekine like my beddle Davie Gaddies there but Goliah was a meckle strong fellow like the Laird of Quandal there this David gets a Scrippie and Baggie that is a Sling and a Stone in it he slings a Stone into Goliah ' s Face down falls Goliah and David above him After that David was made a King he that was keeping Sheep before in truth he came very well too Sirs Well said Davie see what comes of it Sirs after that he commits Adultery with Uriah Nay said the beddal Davie Gaddies it was but with Uriah ' s Wife Sir In Faith thou art right it was Uriah's Wife indeed man said Mr. John One Ker at his entring into a Church at Teviotdale told the People the Relation that was to be between him and them in these following words Sirs I am coming home to be your Shepherd and you must be my Sheep and the Bible will be my Tar-bottle for I will mark you with it and laying his Hand on the Clark or Precentor's Head he saith Andrew you shall be my Dog The sorrow a bit of your Dog will I be said Andrew O Andrew I speak mystically said the Preacher Yea but you speak mischievously said Andâ—ew Mr. William Guthry preaching on Peter ' s Confidence said Peter Sirs was as Stalliard a Fellow as ever had cold Iron at his Arse and yet a Hussie with a Rock feared him Another preaching against Drunkenness told the Hearers There were four sorts of Drunkenness 1. To be drunk like a Sow tumbling in the Mire like many of this Parish 2. There is to be drunk like a Dog the Dog fills the Stomach of him and spues all out again and thou John Jamison was this way drunk the other day 3. There is to be drunk like a Goose Of all Drunkenness Sirs beware of the Drunkenness of the Goose for it never rests but constantly dips the Gobb of it in the Water You are all drunk this way Sirs I need name none of you 4. There is to be drunk like a Sheep the silly Sheep seldom or never drinks but sometimes wets the Mouth of it in the Water and rises up as well as ever and I my self use to be drunk this way Sirs But now I see said he two Gentlemen in the Kirk and Gentlemen you are both Strangers to me but I must vindicate my self at your hands I have here the cursedest Parish that ever God put Breath in for all my preaching against Drunkenness they will go into a Change-house after Sermon and the first thing they 'll get is a meckle cup full of hot Ale and they will say I wish we had the Minister in the midst of it Now Gentlemen judge ye how I am rewarded for my good Preaching After Sermon the Clerk gives him up the name of a Fornicatrix whose name was Ann Cantly Here is saith he one upon the Stool of Repentance they call her Cantly she saith her self she is an honest Woman but I trow Scantly Mr. John Levingstone in Ancrum once giving the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper said to his Hearers Now Sirs you may take Christ piping hot and finding a Woman longsome in taking the Bread out of his Hand he says Woman if you take not Christ take the meikle Devil then One John Simple a very Zealous Preacher among them used to personate and act Sermons in the old Monkish Stile spoken of Sect. 1. § 16. At a certain time he preached upon that Debate Whether a Man be Justified by Faith or by Works and acted it after this manner Sirs this is a very great Debate but who is that looking in at the Door with his red Cap follow your look Sir it is very ill manners to be looking in but what 's your name Robert Bellarmine Bellarmine saith he Whether is a man justified by Faith or by Works He is justified by Works Stand thou there man But what is he that honest-like-man standing in the Floor with the long Beard and Geneva Coul a very honest-like-man draw near What 's your name Sir My name is John Calvin Calvin honest Calvin Whether is a man justified by Faith or by Works He is justified by Faith Very well John thy Leg to my Leg and we shall hough down Bellarmine even now Another time Preaching on the day of Judgment he told them Sirs this will be a terrible day we 'll all be there and in the throng I John Simple will be and all of you will stand at my back Christ will look to me and he will say Who is that standing there I 'll say again yea even as ye ken'd not Lord he 'll say I know thou's honest John Simple draw near John now John what good service have you done to me on Earth I have brought hither a company of Blew Bonnets for you Lord Blew Bonnets John what is become of the brave Hats the Silks and the Satins John I 'll tell I know no Lord they went a Gate of their own Well honest John thou and thy blew Bonnets are welcome to me come to my right hand and let the Devil take the Hats the Silks and the Sattins This John was ordinarily called Fitch-cape and Claw-poll because in the time of Preaching or Praying he used to claw his Head and rub his Callet At a certain time he was called to preach in a Neighbouring Church and his Preface was in these words Sirs I know what you will be saying among your selves the day ye will say Here is Fitch-cape come to preach to us the day but as the Lord lives I had a great deal of do e're I could come to you for by the way I met the Devil he said to me What now Fitchâ—cape whither are you going I am going said I to preach to the People of God People of God! said the foul thief they are my People They are not yours thou soul thief said I. They are mine Claw-poll said he again to me so the foul thief and I tugg'd rugg'd and riv'd at one another and at last I got you out of his Clooks Now here is the good that
come Sirrah stand there at my left hand thou and the Devil shall together even now There is nothing more ordinary among the Generality of their Preachers than to tell that Christ did not set his foot in Scotland this eight and twenty years or this I brought a stranger to you now and a very great stranger indeed this many a year would you know who it is it is Christ Sirs hadd him fast then for if once he get out of Scotland again it 's like he 'l never return It is very well known in Perthshire that one of their Rabbies Preaching a◠St. Johnstone or thereabout a little before the Battel of Killich ankie upon these words Resist the Devil and he will slie from you he begins very gravely after this manner Humph my beloved you are all here the day even for the fashions cause but wo◠ye who is amongst you the day even the meikle horned Devil tho you cannot see him yet I do I see him Sirs by the eye of faith but you 'l say now that we have him here what shall we do with him Sirs Humph what way will ye destroy him some of you will say we will hang him ha ha my beloved there are not so many tows in all the Parish as hung him besides he 's as light as a feather What then will ye do with him for he will not hang. Then some of you will say we will drown him Humph my beloved there is too much cork in his Arse he 's as souple as an Eel he will not sink Others of you will say we will burn him Na na Sirs ye may scald your selves but ye cannot burn him for all the fire in Hell could never yet singe a hair on his tail Now Sirs you cannot find a way among you all to kill him but I will find it what way will this be Sirs we shall even shoot him Wherewith shall we shoot him We shall shoot him with the Bible Now Sirs I shall shoot him presently so presenting the Bible as Soldiers do their Musquet he crys out Touff Touff Touff Now he is shot there lies the foul thief as dead as a Haron Some Eye-witnesses report of another that was to give the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper such as they can give and having got into the Pulpit he looks about him and says Sirs I miss somebody here to day I miss Christ here the day but he promised to be here the day I think he will be as good as his word however I will go out and see if he be coming he at this went out of the Pulpit and staying out some little time he comes in and tells them Now Sirs Christ is coming I saw him on his white Horse coming to you Now what entertainment will you give him I will tell you Sirs Will ye get among you all but one Pint of Faith a Gill of Grace and a Mutchkine of Sanctification and this will make a good morning draught for him In the Mers there was a Communion given lately and as it is ordinary there is a Discourse for every Table one of the Preachers that 's most cried up for his Eloquence said You that are Wives ye will be saying ordinarily when ye meet Cummer have ye spun your Yarn yet But alas I fear there are few of you that have spun a Wedding-garment for Christ the day But Christ will be among you and see who is his well busked Bride he 'l say to them that have not on their Wedding-garment Is that nasty Slut there my Bride shame and lack fall that Bride Go nasty Slut sway'd away to Hell It is ordinary among some Plebeians in the South of Scotland to go about from door to door upon New-years Eve crying Hagmane a corrupted word from the Greek 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which signifies the Holy Month. John Dickson holding forth against this Custom once in a Sermon at Kelso says Sirs do ye know what Hagmane signifies It is the Devil be in the house that 's the meaning of its Hebrew Original Another time he told his Hearers what an Idolatrous Church the English Church is for lay two Eggs in a Dish and the one is not so like the other as the Church of Rome and the Church of England are to one another I know a Minister that went purposely to hear this man and declared upon his real truth that he held out a nonsensick rhapsody for an hour and an half time on the third of Matth. This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased All the Graces of the Spirit said he are mysterious faith is a mystery there is a faith that is not saving but that 's no mystery I believe if I should ask any of you whether or no ye believe the words that I read to you you will all say Humf we all believe that Sirs the Devil does more and yet he is not saved nor like to be in haste This is a passage of our Saviour's Transmigration Sirs says he It tells how our blessed Saviour was reform'd like an Angel of Light when his Disciples saw that Glorious sight they were all like a Country man that had never tasted outlandish wine before the wine runs up into his head and makes him dizzie so the Disciples were dizzie the 17. v. They knew not what they said t that is they were dizzie From the words we learn this note of Doctrine That Christ he is lovely O he is lovely O he is lovely First as he is the Son of God 8. Prov. v. 15. By me Kings reign and princes decree justice That is lovely Christ hath authority over all the Kings of the world The Great Turk can do nothing without him The meikle Deel and the black Pape can do nothing without him There were a pack of Deels limbs a year or two ago here and they thought forsooth all would be their own and now lovely Christ in his Providential Providence is like to disappoint them all and who kens but they 'l come begging Pease and Pottage at ours doors yet Christ is lovely as he is Mediator cut him all in pieces from head to foot every bit of him is lovely They 'l tell you now the young Prince is banished Britain but I 'le tell you of a young Prince that has been banished Britain these 28 years by the incoming of the perjur'd Prelates and drunken Curates lovely Christ is that young Prince and now he is like to come back again to get his Crown O take him now now when he is coming with a whip in his hand to scourge out the cursed Curates c. This was preached in the Parish of Smallum in Teviotdale and the effect of this Preaching followed the next Sabbath for the rabble came and pulled the Minister out of his Pulpit in the time of his Sermon One Mr. Thomas Ramsay in Mordington within the Shire of Berwick said in a Sermon upon the
preaching in Linton in Teviotdale said Our Bishops thought they were very secure this long time Like Willie Willie Wastel I am in my Castle A the Dogs in the Town Dare not ding me down Yea but there is a doggie in Heaven that has dung them all down Another preaching of the Dialogue betwixt God and Adam after his Fall Adam said he went to hide himself God comes to him and said where art thou man I am courring here Lord I 'le hazard twa and a plack saith God there is a whap in the Kape Ede has thou been at Barne-breaking Ede come out of thy holes and thy bores here Ede Mr. James Kirkson told several times in his Sermons at Edenling That the Devil had his Kirk-Government as well as God and would ye ken what a Government it is indeed it is a Presbyterian Government for he has his Minister and his Ruling Elder his Minister is the Pope and his Ruling-Elder is the King of France The same man once speaking of the Evils of the tongue said Your tongues Sirs are as foul as a dog's tongue when he licks Skitter before God it 's true But do not take this out of the House with you Sirs Mr. Matthew Selkirk preaching against keeping of days said They that keep †Yule-day Sirs deny that Christ came in the flesh and are rank Jews they keep that day in commemoration of J. Caesar the chief of the Jews Mr. Hugh Kennedy Moderator of the General Assembly being about to Christen a Child in the Colledg-Kirk looked about him and said Look Sirs and see the Devil painted in that Bairns face but we shall do the best we can to conjure him out I shall shortly nail his lug to Christ's trone till from a Calf he grow up to an Ox to draw in Christ's Plow Mr. Arskine in the Tron-Church said That the work of the Lord is like to be ruin'd for there are two sorts of people that have taken their hands from the work of the Lord. First the Malignants that never laid their hands to it 2ly The Court-party but you Lasses and Lads put your shoulders to that work take a good lift of it for it will not break your backs and ye can never use your backs in a better work One Mr. Robert Gourly preaching on the Woman of Canaan how our Saviour called her a Dog told Sirs some of you may think that our Saviour spake very improperly for he should have called her a Bitch but to this I answer a Dog is the Masculine or Feminine Gender there is a He-dog and a She-dog But you will ask why did he miscall the poor Woman and call her a Dog There are God's Dogs and the Devils Dogs she was God's Dog not the Devil's Dog Mr. Sheilds in a Sermon at Aberdeen told the people the only way to hold a fast grip of Christ was to entertain him with three Liquors in three sundry Bickers you must have a pint of hope three pints of faith and nine pints of hot hot hot burning zeal One Mr. Strange preaching on Act 2. 37 38. before several Ladies of the best Quality of our Kingdom They were pricked at their hearts said Some of you are come hither the day to get a prick I fear few of you have gotten a prick but some of you may get a prick within a short time And seeing some laugh he said Do not mistake me Sirs It is not a natural prick I mean but a prick at the heart I mean not the pricks of the flesh but the pricks of the spirit the sweet prick of Conscience One Mr. James Wilson now in Kirkmeddon in Galloway told That Faith had wonderful effects For by faith Noah saw the deluge before it came But I will tell you a far more wonderful effect of Faith than that John the Baptist saw Christ through twa wymbs was not that a clear-ey'd little one 〈…〉 One Mr. Melvin being sent by the Presbytery to the Parish of Monzie in Struthern to prepare the people by a Sermon for receiving a Presbyterian Minister in the place of Mr. Drammond a person of great Learning who was deprived at the false suggestions of a Weaver in that Parish whom he saved from the Gibbet in King Charles 2d's time the said Mr. Melvin Lecturing on this Text Touch not mine Anointed and do my Prophets no harm said The Kings and the great folks and the cursed Bishops for sooth were seeking to destroy God's own people but as sturk as they were God is starker and bad them bide back bide back pointing with his finger this is my folk they are none of your folks and so God keeped his own poor people Sirs except some few that were hanged but Oh Sirs it 's a sweet sweet denth to go off the Gallows to God for the holy Covenant But for these cursed Bishops and Curates Sirs that were leading many poor souls to Hell this long time Sirs ye see they are now put out they are put out yea they are e'en trampled under our feet This is attested by a person that then lived within two miles of the place and heard him Mr. Areskine in the Trone-Church proposed in a Sermon What is the new man He made this learned Answer in a Melancholy long tone It is the new man Mr. Kirton lately in the Church he possesses at Edinburgh began his Sermon thus Devil tuke me soul and body The people startling at the expression he anticipates their wonder with this correction You think Sirs this a strange word in the Pulpit out you think nothing of it out of Pulpit but what if the Devil should tuke many of you when ye utter such Language Another time preaching against Cockupps he told I have been this year of God preaching against the vanity of Women yet I see my own Daughter in the Kirk even now have as high a Cockupp as any of you all Another time giving the Sacramens of the Lord's Supper in Crummond at the breaking of the Bread he told the Participants Take eat Sirs your Bread is baken And that was all the form he used as one of the Communicabsts told me the day after A Presbyterian Preacher in the Parish of Killpatrick Easter above Glasgow in whose Parish there is one Captain Sanderson a Church of England man who is looked on there by them as a rank Papist he once went to Church to see their way The Preacher seeing him in Church took a Fourteen our of his Pocket and held it up before the Congregation expressing these words Here I take instrument in the hand of God that tho a man be pardoned of all his original and actual sins yet if he neglect to 〈◊〉 our Fasts he shall never go to Heaven The Preacher owns what he said and did And the Captain desires the thing to be published in his name he being ready to justifie it upon any occasion Mr. William
tell you and many sad complaint to make of our Governors and great men and of the malignants and Dundee's men and many Pardons to ask for a broken Covenant and a backsliding Ministry but I must refer them all till you and I be at more leisure and I will not end without that old musty Prayer that they now call our Lords Mr. Robert Kenedy Brother to the very learned and moderate Hugh Kenedy the Moderator of the General Assembly once praying at a Conventicle at Chidsdale said Lord grant that all the Kings in the World may fall down before thy Son and kiss his Soles not the Pope's Soles c. no nor his stinking Panton either Mr. Boyd the famous Preacher in Chidsdale finding in the Forenoon that severals of his Hearers went away after the Forenoon Sermon had this expression in his Afternoon Prayers Now Lord thou sees that many People go away from hearing thy word but had we told them Stories of Robin Hood or Davie Lindsay they had stay'd and yet none of these are near so good as thy Word that I Preach Another praying against Church Government by Bishops and Curates said Lord will thou take the Keys of thy own House out of the hand of those thieves and hirelings and make them play clitter clatter upon their Crowns till they cry Maw again he pronounced the word Maw like the noise of a Cat for thy locks have got many a wrong cast since they had the Keys About the beginning of March 1689 one prayed for a Presbyterian Election of Members to the Parliament in the City of Edinburgh in these words Good God now when Christ's back is at the wall put it in the heart of the Townsmen to chuse George Stirling and Baillif Hall Another prayed Lord thou hast said that he is worse than an Insidel that provides not for his own Family Give us not reason to say this of thee Lord for we are thine own family and yet we have been but scurvily provided for of a long time Another praying after the Baptism of a Child in the City of Edinburgh said Lord bless and preserve this young Calf that he may grow an ox to draw in Christ's Plough Mr. Areskine praying in the Tron-Church last year said Lord have mercy on all Fools and Idiots and particularly on the Magistrates of Edinburgh Another Imprecating as is very ordinary with them to do said Lord give thy enemies the Papists and the Prelates a full cup of thy fury to drink and if they refuse to drink it off then good Lord give them Kelty Mr. John Dickson praying for Grace said Lord dibble thou the kail-seed of thy Grace in our hearts and if we grow not up to good kail Lord make us good Sprouts at least Mr. Linning cursing the King or France in his Prayers said Lord curse him confound him and damn him dress him and guide him as thou didst Pharaoh Senacherib and our late King James and his Father One Frazer a young Fellow Preaching in Jedburgh after Sermon blasphemously inverted the Blessing thus The Curse of the Lord Jesus Christ and of God the Father and the Holy Ghost be upon all them that hear the Word and profit not by it Mr. Arskine in the Tron-Church prayed Lord be thou in Mons Mons Mons be thou in Mons good Lord meikle need has Mons of thee Lord for now they that be Confederates we hope they may be made Covenanters Bring the sworn enemy of the Solemn League the Tyrant of France to the place whence he came and cause his Dragons shoot him in his Retreat that he may cry out with Julian the Apostate Now Galilean thou hast overcome me One Mr. James Webster was admired lately at my Lord Arbuthnet his zealous Patron 's Table for this Grace before Meat Out of the boundless bankless brimless bottomless shoreless Ocean of thy goodness we are daily foddered filled feasted fatted and half an hours Discourse to the same purpose Mr. Kennedy before the late Assembly in which he had the name of Moderator said in his Prayer Lord Moderation is commended to us by the King we all know it 's a Vertue that 's sometimes is useful Lord but I cannot say that that which they call Moduration is so convenient at this time for thy People and Cause for even to be free with you Good Lord I think it best to make a clean House by sweeping them all out at the door and casting them out to the Midden Their famous Scrib Rule in a Prayer not at Sermon but upon another occasion as publick a little after the dissolution of the General Assembly expressed himself thus O Lord thou knows that Christ's Court the General Assembly ought to protest against Usurpers upon Christs Kingdom but if we had known that King William would have been angry with us in earnest and if the Brethren would have followed my advice we should have pleased the King for this time and taken Christ in our own hand till some other opportunity The Moderator Chrighton immediately after the Assembly was dissolved praying amongst many other reflexions upon the King and his Counsellors said these words O Lord thou knows how great a Surprizal this is to us we lookt upon King William at his first coming among us to have been sent in mercy for deliverance to this poor Kirk but now we see that our Deliverance must come from another hand Good God grant that he be not sent to be a plague and a curse to thy Kirk Hind let loose by Mr. Shields pag. 468. I conclude this Head says he with that Form of Prayer that I use for the King O Lord to whom vengeance belongeth shew thy self lift up thy self thou Judge of the Earth render a reward to the proud Lord how long shall the wicked how long shall the wicked triumph shall the Throne of iniquity have fellowship with thee that frameth mischief by a law the mighty and terrible God destroy all Kings and people that put their hand to alter and destroy the House of God overturn overturn overturn this Throne of Tyranny and let it be no more until he come whose right it is These are but a few of many thousand instances that might be given of that ridiculousness profanity and blasphemy which the Scotch Presbyterians daily use in their Preaching and Praying and tho Strangers may think it incredible that men professing Religion or Reason should thus debase and prostitute both yet they who are unfortunately bound to converse with and hear them frequently cannot be but sadly sensible that all that 's here charged upon them is but too true and that many of the worst expressions they are daily guilty of are purposely here omitted lest by such obscene Godless and fulsome stuff the ears and eyes of modest Readers should be nauseated and polluted which if these opposers of Truth and Religion should deny there are thousands in Scotland of the best quality and