Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n
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A50914
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Nevvs from hell, Rome and the Innes of court wherein is set forth the coppy of a letter written from the devill to the pope : the true coppy of the petition delivered to the King at Yorke : the coppy of certaine articles of agreement betweene the devill, the pope, and divers others : the description of a feast, sent from the devill to the pope : together with a short advertisement to the high court of Parliament with sundry other particulars / by J. M.
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Milton, John, 1608-1674.
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1642
(1642)
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Wing M42B; ESTC R23068
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14,420
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30
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bribery extortion oppression injustice unmercifulnesse and with pervertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship-money forrest-money lone-money and a multitude of Isoprises but this dish is by his majesties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar palate Pope His majesties will be done I shall ever be ready obedient to al his majesties commands nor wil I presume to taste of it but onely passe my judgement on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his majesties table What is the next I pray my Lord Card. The next may it please your Holinesse is a large golden charger contayning a very great number of base-minded covetous unjust extorting and oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them uttered at a barre of Justice at a farre higher price then your Holinesse doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins and these caterpillars his majesty king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Inhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his house to stand unlesse it be supported by one of those vermin pillars brood of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one 20 shillingspeece to 5 to 10. yea to 20 especially by those who are stiled the Judges favourites all this is given sometimes but for the speaking of two or three words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding Clyents spinning out the thread of an honest cause to its full length until the purs-strings both of Plaintife and defendant cracke and then they are tyed together by a commission into the country where these caterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestiferous pettifogging seditious ten-groat-Atturnies one of whose perfidious bils of charges in one tearme advances it selfe sometimes unto the sum of 5 10. 20. yea 30. pounds especially when he finds his Clyent naturally inclined to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes hanges five cony-catching deceitfull Solicitors properly termed lawyers-lime-twigs traps or nets to catch the poor silly creatures called Clyents and this dish his majesty hath also reserved for his own table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most damnable soveraigne King Lucifer the operation and vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his majesties palate especially if there be but the operative spice added to it call'd the action of the Case But what is this dish my Lord Cardinall Card. May it please your Holinesse this dish containes a certain number of base muck-worms stiled Doctors of our Civill Law Chancellors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the unjust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and garnished about with a most damnable crue of Proctors Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty Apparaters these have for many yeares proved notable instruments of strife and vexation unto the Inhabitants of England and through their deceiveable wayes have mightily oppressed the people being not much inferiour unto the precedent Golden Charger But to this dish may it please your Holinesse there hath happened this year a very great mischance in the cooking for when we thought it should have bin most Laudably boyled up to its greatest height of Catholick operation there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of reformation which hath made it somewhat dangerous now for your holinesse to taste of for the Lamb that was most richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden unexpected misfortune putrified and the Duck being awatry foule is quite dissolved and this dish by his majesties speciall order is to be left now to your holinesse disposall Pope I am much bound to his majesty for his gracious favour to me herein I shall be very carefull through deliberation and mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegency here and then returne it againe to his Majestyes disposall But I pray you my Lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels contain Card. may it please your holinesse this covered messe is a gallimophre or as the Flemine cals it a Hutchpot wherin are sundry meats stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the Chancery and halfe a dozen corrupt clarks of the chancery also 150. of their puny clarks commonly termed Atturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Atturnies of the Court of requests and some 60 of their puny clarks this Hutchpot is seasoned with the spice of bribery false witnesses stiled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especially in the examiners offices and the late Coventry affidavit office but his majesties speciall command is to have this covered mispreserved in its present condition least contention should cease amongst the inhabitants of England and unity and peace take place which cannot but tend much to his majesties detriment and losse of dominion in that Kingdome and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed up and to be conveyed from Coventry to Manchester by the goulden-Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardinall I beseech you let his majesties will and pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his majestyes honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card. This may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers and Clarks of the Star Chamber Chancery Court of Request Kings-Bench Common Pleas and the Exchecker this galimofre is seasoned with subornation of false-witnesses falsifying of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtill practises of the renter warden of the fleet and his imphes as also with Kilvert kilfart kilbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the operations of this dish chiefly consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppresse vertue and peace and to advance iniquity and contention to wrong and oppresse every man and to do right unto no man And this messe is also to be reserved for his Majesties Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinal I pray you let me taste of this messe the operation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable I wish from my heart that I might also grow capeable of that vertue of extracting Gold out of the English nation as some of my predecessors have don before me I confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most laudadly but alasse and woe is me it was marred by a robustuous storme of winde out of the North and quite spoyled a vehement shower of puritanicall raine and what is the next messe my Lord Card. May it please your holinesse this is also a Hutchpot
prison as are or shall be brought before them on the least occasion and that he the said Jaylor Oppression shal be ever ready to yeeld his daily attendance on the Judges in their Courts thereby to stir them up to be mindfull of him to that effect lastly it is agreed concluded that he the said JaylorOppression shal will by himselfe his servants set such snares gins for all those committed to his custody that they being once intrapped within his prison doors shall never find the way out during the continuance of their lives or of their estates at the least to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and to the eternall perdition of Jaylor Oppression Item It is agreed by and between our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer and Justice Connivence that he the said Justice Connivence shall not nor will have any regard or respect to the justnes of any poore mans cause nor shall ever incline his eare to any his just complaints but shall will ever connive and bear with the oppressor defrauder deceiver and that he the said Justice Connivence shall and will ever preferre the value of a Goose a Pig a Capon a brace of Partridges a good fat Sheep a Bore at Christmas or a letter from a friend written in favour of Sir Oppressor Mr. Defrauder and Dick Deceiver far before Justice it selfe or the justnesse of any honest mans cause whatsoever nor that hee the said Justice Connivence shall ever execute Justice in any poore mans cause but on the contrary he shall oppresse them and have his Mittimus ready written by his Clark M' double fees for the speedy commitment of them to prison neither shall hee ever incline his eare to heare their just complaints against the severall golden persons of worship afore-said to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the benefit of Jaylor Oppression Item It is agreed by and between our Soveragine Lord King Lucifer and state Negligence that he the said state Negligence shall ever preferre his own peace and present benefit before the welfare and future prosperity of his King and country also that he the said state negligence shall not at any time take notice of any the Illegal proceedings in any the Courts of Justice nor shall addict himself or ever endeavour to suppresse nor prevent by any good or wholsome lawes the practise of tyranny oppression in justice extortion bribery contention idolatry and the like But shall and will soly addict himself to the pastimes of hunting hauking gaming whoring the utter rejection of the present and future benefit and welfare of his native countrey to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer the prosperity of his Religious Vicegerent and the peace and tranquillity of all his servants the Jesuites Priests Seminaries and the Roman Catholicks of England In witnesse of the truth of these presents and of every particular contained in the same the parties above named have hereunto set their hands and seales the day aforesaid and in the 5662 yeere of the raigne of our most damnable Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer Etcetera Signed sealed and delivered in the presence of us William Laud Bishop Isoprise Crauly Judge Bribing Long Justice Corrupt Fountaine Lawyer Jumping Jumper Atturney Johnson in Graine Jaylor Robert Kilfart Solicitor And Rudine 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Notarius publicus HERE FOLLOWETH A BREIF RELAtion of a great feast which from Lucifer Prince of hell was by the hands of Cardinall Pegusius presented to the view disposall and approbation of the Pope of Rome in the yeare of Jubilee 1641. Pope MY Lord Cardinall Pegusius and you the rest of my holy Brethren I beseech you view these excellent varieties and variety of excellencies well dressed most exquisitely set forth and garnished But the contents of every dish I beleeve is best known to you my Lord Pegusius from whom I desire to be satisfied concerning the contents qualities and operation of every severall dish Card. May it please your Holinesse These varieties of dishes wch your holinesse here sees thus set forth were all of them prepared for the onely table of our high and mighty Monarch King Lucifer your Holinesse sole Patron and Protector a certain number of which dishes his Majesty hath gratiously been pleased to cause them to be presented to your Holinesse disposall and the residue of them onely to your Holinesse view and approbation being to be preserved for his Majesties owne peculiar pallate Pope I beseech you my Lord Card. let me have them brought hither before me in order according to the appointment of my Soveraigne and most munificent patron Card. Your holinesse will and pleasure shall be accomplished here in the first place may it please your holynesse to take notice that the first dish by his majesties appointment to be presented to your holinesse disposall is this large Latine charger contayning twenty two Lordly Bishops stued with the fire contention on the chafindish of exasperation and seasoned with the severall spices of mans invention as with the spice of the Masse Priesthood holy-days Altars Candles Rayles holy-bread holy-water holy-ashes devout prayer for the dead invocation of Saints offerings at the Altars excommunications and the strong and operative spice of the high commission It is also garnished about with the severall hereticall Doctrines of all the new intituled Priests of England and this dish his majesty hath appointed to be disposed of by your holynesse Pope I will surely taste of it it looks lovely oh admirable it is a most LAVDable dish of meat I can finde nothing wanting in this dish but onely three graines of the spice of accomplishments and then it had bin devoutly seasoned for my pallat but I pray-what is the next dish my lo' Card. The next dish may it please your holynesse is a silver charger comprehending all the contrivers and complotters of the dissention betweene England and Scotland of the last Spanish invasion of England and the practisers with the French for the subversion of a the heriticks in England Scotland and Ireland it is seasoned with all our Iesuitical practises Church policies and all our English Romane Catholicke trecheries and garnished with all our English Romane Statists this dish of meat is now almost cold and therefore at this present unfit for your holinesse pallat it only wants the breath of the Earle of Straffords fiery zeale to heat it by a LAVDable blast or two Pope However I pray let me taste of it oh the lamentation of a sinner pity pity yea a thousand pities is it that this dish had not bin kept hot and seasoned to the proofe that we might have sung most LAVDably â—e Lucifer Landamus But my Lord Cardinal what is the next dish Card. May it please your holynesse this dish contains a certaine number of false and corrupt Iudges it is seasoned with the spice of aged detestable covetousnesse