this I know that he that giveth grace to will will also give grace to do for both to will and to do is from the good will of God 22. When I do any thing that is good that 's from the good spirit of God in me but when I do any thing that is evil that 's from the evil spirit of sin which is in me and Tyranizeth over me 23. All the will I have to good is from thy good will my good God but all the will I have to evil is from my own evil will 24. Ah Lord how hard do I find it to the flesh to do what I should nay what I would and how easie Ah Lord how easie to do that which I should not and would not 25. Do thou therefore O Lord I most humbly beseech thee work in me both to will and to do according to thy good will and pleasure 26. That as to please thee O Lord is the desire of my will yea my wills only desire so not to please thee my God I had rather yea much rather dye then will with my will willingly 27. Let thy holy will O God be my whole will and thy whole will be made holy in me by doing it wholly and holily by the powerfull assistance of thy holy Spirit 28. To will thy will O God with my heart is thy will O Lord written by thy self in my heart 29. Let then thy will be in my heart that with my heart I may both will and do thy good will my good God 30. When with my heart I think on thee Then from all sin my heart is free Let then my heart still think on thee That from all sin I may still flee Lord take my heart and make it thine That to no sin it may incline 31. The best of our best is so bad that our all is worth nothing at all 32. If then our best good be so bad our holy things so unholy Ah Lord how unholy is our unholyness and how bad and evil is our worst evil the evil of our worst things 33. It is not my studious care but thy care O Lord of my study that makes both my study and care prosperous and advantageous 34. It is from thee O Lord my God that I have all that I have Ah give me this mercy also to be as willing to give it thee back when thou wilt have it as I was willing to receive it when thou gavest it 35. When man speaks to man it can take no effect but when God speaks to man what ever he speaks it shall take effect 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to me and in me be effectuall for the better and not for the worse of my soul a savour of life unto life and not of death unto death of life to my soul and of death to my sins 37. I had rather hear and learn one thing from the wisdome of God then a thousand thousand from the wisdome of men 38. Let all thy truths in me O God be confirmed to me by the powerfull wisdome and working of thy holy spirit 39. Gods voyce brings me alwayes joy and comforts my sad heart but mans voyce causeth me alwayes grief and saddens my joyfull heart 40. I had rather be ever alone with God and want all other things then be one day without him to have and gaine and keep all other things besides him 41. For when God is in me then am I in Heaven but when God is not in me then am I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord is to me Heaven upon earth and thy absence O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed self that I desire and not the desires of my other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all my desires and yet when I have thee not I do not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to will or desire my own good so poor a wretch as not of my self to wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinfull lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternall destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gratious and most glorious self to mee ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdome is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retayne what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the hony of thy word to the tast of my inward man then the hony-Comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own words do nothing then my own works and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whil'st on earth by doing thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and pretious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love
desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee loose all to enjoy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whether thou wilt goe even as a Chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his armes esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine armes and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is so those that are there a thousand years seems but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seemes as a thousand years so great is there comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whil'st here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtaine that measure and degree of holiness that my earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I com to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infinitness and Eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy mercyes sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen eare hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost threepersons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawful calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obediently circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me alwaies value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no token either of thy hatred or of thy love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be alwaies as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal losse Ah Lord let the eies of my understanding be enlightened and alwaies open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingnesse whilst I shall possesse them and that worldly blisse consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem alwaies that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will alwaies please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will alwaies please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward man the New not the old man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfainedly beg and beseech thee in Jesus
Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing what ever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that Seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the daies of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my daies unto the very last hower of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witnesse a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Iesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that triest the heart and searchest the reigns thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as willingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good and blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty maker giver and preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the ends and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatnesse of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their fouls may live and not die eternally Remember O Lord God thine ancient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eies of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Iesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitternesse as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto Jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and the diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulnesse and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide nor still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to graft us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou grast in again these into their own Olive tree which be the natural branches for blindnesse is happened to Israel until the fulnesse of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulnessse of us the Gentiles that the number of shine Elect may be accomplished and that man of fin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerful assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinct of sin of righteousnesse and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers ther of that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithful Labourers into thy Vineyard and harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ that the wild Boar of the wood pluck up the roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ be mindful and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulnesse ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousnesse which is Idolatry our sins of pride and hypocrisie of self-love and hatred of
out brethren our sins of gluttony and drunkennesse of uncleannesse of malice wrath and revenge our sins of profanation and persecution our sins of blasphemy and toleration aganst thy self O God and Christ against thy holy Law and Gospel O God that art the Iudg of Heaven and of Earth pardon O Lord pardon I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ Englands sins for they are many for they are great and enter into a Covenant with them and be thou their God and make them thy people that they may serve thee for ever and for ever and thou maiest henceforth delight in them to live amongst them and never more to be wrath with them Settle O Lord I beseech thee a faithful Magistracy over us Iudges as at the first and Counsellors as in the beginning that Iustice may run down our streets as a mighty river and righteousnesse as a great stream that the cause of the poor the Widow and the Orphane may be heard and Iustice done without respect of persons that there be no cries in our Land nor no complaining in our streets Give O Lord boldnesse Zeal Courage and Faithfulnesse unto all the Ministers thereof that they may not seek the praise of men but the praise honour and glory of thee our God and that they may be ready and willing to lay down their lives for the truth and be faithful unto the death choosing rather much rather affliction and persecution for thy sake and the Gospels then to dwell in the Tabernacles of the wicked and to serve the lusts of men and to this end O Lord God give them I humbly pray thee a double Portion of thy holy Spirit which thou gavest unto thy faithful Servant Elias to lead guide govern and direct them in the wayes of all truth and Righteousness that they may not at all fear him which can only kill the body but him which is thy self O Lord who having killed the body can'st cast the soul into Hell O Lord open their eyes that they may see thee and thy strength and power on their side and therefore may not fear the power nor the policy of their Enemyes how great soever it be to the eyes of men for they are but men meer men whose breath is in their Nostrils a little creeping clay speaking earth Wormes of six foot long whose hearts thou turnest as the rivers of waters and changest them as thou pleasest and that nothing is or can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without meanes yea and against meanes and that there is no meanes so contemptable but thou canst O God our God make effctual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jerico at the noyse of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down gratiously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and Righteousness all the dayes of our lives and though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them then we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them then thou shalt be pleased to inable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them alwayes see and acknowledge that thou punishest them for less then their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to weare the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to raigne with thee hereafter and though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last dayes may be their best dayes and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithful humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may alwayes sit under the shadows of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the wayes of thy Statutes and let thy Commandements be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to goe astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindful and merciful O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever disper'st wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the
altogether that is alwaies in all thy wayes 82. Weâ—e it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy waies O God they are most yea they are only desirable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that Harbour and Haven of rest happinesse eternal felicity and blessednesse 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true folace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evill thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptyeth me euen of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my Joyes and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowst thou knowst how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowst I cannot live without the presence of thy Holy Spirit who is my only comfort and comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all my good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I man only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and alwaies live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowst my heart saith it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will alwaies chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowst that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the sole of the foot of my soul. 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot Joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy Love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That Glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O heavenly heart that is alwaies in heaven meditating on thee God the heaven of heaven in heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath alwaies heaven in his mind that minds only heaven and the things that are in heaven 110. Such ah such a heart O Lord who are the Lord of heaven and earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou maiest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superiour and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joyes that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joyes earths Joyes for ye are but earth and therefore no Joyes but even false Joyes and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114 O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savoury sweet pleasant and delight some pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoyes thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling
When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surelie beautiful in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majestie of God in some sort is on such a soul and through the glorious light of Christs gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedlie and humblie beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwood and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hateful and detestabel and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinful and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though a far off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joyes and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least hearing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eie to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure or degree or nature of the ill but it s alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and priezth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerly as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particualr as in the very gretest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his blisse his peace his Love his joy his rest his whole and only delight contentment and comfort But in the most good he seeth him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happinesse 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfaignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ alwaies thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living alwaies in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord. So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour and see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be sit to receive and be filled with thy fulnesse even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodnesse 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with World flesh of self so much lesse room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure its empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and alwaies be thus empty that we may be thus alwaies filled for its clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulnesse of unspeakable joyes and pleasures if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joyes which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfainedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou maiest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee lesse and lesse daily and thee O God more and more until I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfained sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest
me that I may feed them with this bread and with those dainties wherewith thou hast been pleased so gratiously and plentifully to feed me and that I may by communication inrich them with this same impuisable treasure where with thou hast now and heretofore inriched my Soul 133. Let me have nothing Ah Lord let me have nothing for my self alone but let me be alwaies ready and willing to give unto others whatsoever it be that thou shalt give to me to carry to them forthwith whatever thou thy self shalt bring me to make them partakers of all whatsoever thou shalt make me at any time yea the best of times partaker of that thou givest it unto me when alone yet grant O God that I may esteem it as a common gift that is to make it common by giving it freely liberally and cheerfully not repugningly repiningly or repentingly as thine O Lord as thine that we may altogether go hand in hand speaking thy praises and telling of all what ever thou doest for our Souls 134. What ever God gives his clildren what condition soever he brings them into it is intended by him for their advantage and good therefore they should alwaies rejoyce for all things for hight degree and low degree for health and sicknesse for applause and for contempt and scorn not to do as many do endeavour to turn what God intends for their comforts into sorrowing cares and heavinesse and say that they are not fit for comforts and joyes as if God knew not what were fit or fittest for them How is it to be pitied and lamented and God knows how I pity them and lament for them that thus turn his good into evil even to themselves and their very Souls that is they labour with might and main what in them lies to turn his comforts into discomforts his peace into wart his smiles into frowns his joyes into sorrowing to change his intendments for their good as much as in them lieth unto their own hurt should we not be glad when we see and plainly perceive that he intends to glad us and rejoyce when that he intends to fill our cup full of joy shall we say Ah God forbid shew me not Heaven yet give me not a foretast or a foresight of it yet leave me thus alone and come not O God so nigh me with thy comforts for thy smiles and thy most lovely and gratious presence overcome me I would rather thy absence and thy frowns for a little space What shall we be sorry for that God is so good unto us and say that he doth us too much good how dare any man choose any condition for himself how dare any man presume to think that he knoweth what condition is best for him and be so bold as to say that a contrary condition to that which God gives him and sends him would be better for him as if God knew not when best to fill us with joyes and when with sorrows and when to take the one and the other from us If he sends me alwaies joyes I will alwaies rejoyce and if he fill me alwaies with sighing and sorrows I am sure he will fit me for that condition also and also in it to make me to rejoyce Let the Lord do unto me alwaies what seemeth him good what he will not what I will his will not mine be done now henceforth and for ever more Amen 135. Deal with me O God the God of my Salvation as thou pleasest let the Issue of all things be as thou wilt only give me grace in all things to walk uprightly before thee 136. If we have O God so much cause to serve thee for what we have already received how much more for that O Lord which thou hast promised and which we know thou wilt surely give us 137. Ah Lord let me cling to thee as a sucking Child doth to the breast for 't is from thee that I can only suck the milk of consolation nourishment strength and comfort 138. T is thee in us and us O Lord in thee That doth from all sin ever make us free 139. O Lord the Heaven of Heaven doth not contain thee only but thou livest also in the lowest hearts of thy Children as well as in the highest Heavens with thy Servants Abraham Isaae and Jacob. 140. O Lord thou knowest that I am content and willing too to loose much as to my self that I may be able to give a little unto others 141. I would rather write a little for others sakes then hear much for my own sake only 142. This losse I have often had and yet I desire rather much by much to be alwayes a looser then a gayner being more others for the most part then mine own for in some measure and for which I desire Eternally to praise thy name I have what I would have and I am sure I shall never loose it 143. Ah how glad am I when I can glad others thou O Lord knowest the great joyes I have when thou art pleased to use me as a means to make others to rejoyce 144. When O Lord thou fillest me and then emptiest me as it were into others I account it not emptying but overflowing 145. So that by my loss others might but gaine I care not what loss soever I sustaine 146. When O Lord thou speakest to the heart thou preparest that is makest the heart fit to speak fitly and preparedly to thee 147. Thy tongue even thine O Lord maketh our hearts and our hands as the pen of a ready writer alwayes ready to speak or to write 148. Thy graces O Lord many times flow into our souls as the full Sea with a high tide loftily and sweetly 149. But Ah how is the soul beneap'd and muddy having no pleasantnesse when the ride of thy presence is gone out 150. Return O Lord return return unto me to fill me that I may at least be as often filled with thine overflowings as emptyed of them by mine own out-goings 151. Ah that I had thee so O Lord as I might alwayes have thee possess thee so as I might alwayes joy in these sweet pleasant and delightful enjoyments of thy blessed most blessed presence which only comforts and contents me 152. Thy presence O God thy presence thy presence is much more esteemed by me by much then life and sweeter ten thousand times ten thousand then the Hony-Comb of any pleasure more desireable then the finest Gold or most pretious Pearls and to be prefer'd above many Rivers of Wine and Oyle 153. Heap upon me O Lord I beseech hee heaps upon heaps of these thy favours and cause these thine overflowings to cover the banks of my barrennesse and filthynesse that I may be comely and pleasant in thy sight and esteem 154. Fill me O Lord I beseech thee so full as that I never grow empty againe of thy grace and goodnesse of obedience and love 155. Warm me so that I never grow cold againe
shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gratious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Crosse for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possesse thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers reign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and ever maiest be my God ever over all and blesse me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thee in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and to lye down on out beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possesse and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eie see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men reach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own reachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee then to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as drosse to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is until we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our daies so are we not at all able to tell what God is unlesse he tell us nor to hear him unlesse he open our hearts and give us understanding not comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voyce we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joyes are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happinesse and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darknesse Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls drosse to gold darknesse to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favourite O God who art King of Kings and Lord of Lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce alwaies with unspeakable joy yea that my joyes may be full 80. Let me O Lord rejoyce much more in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them alwaies under my feet and trample on them as on durt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possesse thee my only good blisse and blessednesse 82. Ah Lord God set alwaies before my eies mine Eternal and
shall see the foolishnesse of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own waies the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the history only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfaigned sincere spotlesse love wean me O Lord from the world and the worlds loves let me die to the world and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last daies be my best daies and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer then to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and Divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my minde by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the waies of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my heart by thy holy Spirit nor my prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine alwaies thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after death be neade partaker of Eternal life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to blesse thee as the Lord my Righteousnesse and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for ever more Amen HEre followes my spiritual soul-Solaces Dictates or Gleanings of Gods Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodnesse love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a Heavenly looking-glasse see know taste feel and be certainly assured of Gods loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing near and nearer unto my long wished and desired home of heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my strength and my Redeemer Spiritual Meditations Being the Gifts and Dictates of GODS SPIRIT Or The hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sinne but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ. 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstrous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the honey-comb and I desire it much more then gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the heaven of heaven in heaven the best of heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce for it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eies Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and pretious dear delight and I shall not vallue but contemne all the ill looks of all others eies 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus then a Solomon
give me O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ grace to be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must make before thee the judge of Heaven and Earth take away all my doubts fears and cares for the things of this life that I may cast all my care on thee who carest for me for the earth is thine and the fulness thereof grant O Lord that I may know how to want and how to abound and to be alwayes content in all conditions knowing that all things shall be for my greatest good and that though affliction be in the night yet joy shall come in the morning grant O Lord I beseech thee that my last thoughts may be my best thoughts and my last dayes O Lord my best dayes grant O Lord that I may be willing to loose all to gain thee and to esteem it no less but great gaine grant that I may be willing to decrease that thou maist O Lord increase to spend and to be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever thou goest grant that I may be as willing to weare the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here as the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter and grant O Lord that I may be as willing to suffer for thy glory as to raigne with thee in glory and that I may desire Heaven much more for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content With Mary to sit at thy feet and to wash them with my tears and to stand behind thee being altogether ashamed to come before thee how willingly O Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish that my head were a Fountaine of water that mine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with Peter bitterly that I might give my soul no rest untill I come into thy blessed Arms the blessed joyfull saving Ark of Rest which shall for ever cause me to flote and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan and grant O Lord that having past the time of my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour unite me O Lord I most humbly beseech thee so nâ—gh unto thy self that I may be made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy flesh make me a member of thy Mysticall body here that I may be for ever a member of thy glorious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech thee to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations unto me and lay no more upon me at any time in body or mind then thou shalt in thy goodness and for thy glory in able me to bear and take not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter from me be thou my help in want my strength in weakness my joy in sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in poverty my palace in Prison my home in banishment my health in sickness and my life in death let thy blessedness in thee O Lord cause me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy overflowing fulness cause me to see my emptiness thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light my darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches my poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy perfection my imperfection thy holiness my unholiness thy glory my shame thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy goodness my badness thy Heaven of happiness blessedness my Hell of unhappiness wretchedness thy all things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth to Heaven thou took'st my nature on thee to make me partaker of thine own holy blessed and divine nature thou becamest the Son of man to make me the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my Lord an heire of misery to make me an heir of mercy yea Co-heire with thy self of Heavens great glory and eternal happiness felicity and blessedness which is thy Father self and holy spirit three persons but one God thou wert O sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God made a curse that I might be made a blessing thou would'st dye once that I might likewise dye but once and then live with thee for ever and for ever thou did'st O King of Glory weare a Crowne of Thornes that I might weare a Crown of Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to lift me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad to shew how willing thou wert to imbrace me thy feet nail'd together to shew thy willingness never to goe from me thy head hanging down to shew thy Willingness to kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for ever thy heart opened with a speare even to let me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the length of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy arms the breadth of thy love and by the opening of thy side the sheding of thy heart blood the depth of thy love O blessed God O most blessed love there is no God like unto thee nor was there ever love like unto this thy love thou did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Fathers frowns that I might have his smiles thou did'st O Christ thou did'st drink up the dreggs of thy Fathers wrath even Vineger mingled with Gall that I might sweetly solace my self by drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of his endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviour thou did'st bear all my sins that I might appear without sin thou did'st O Christ my Readeemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood to wash me from the filthiness of my own blood and from the guilt of this thy blood shedding thou had'st O Christ thou had'st by face much more glorious then the Sun defaced with Spittle that mine might shine even as thine gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glorious thou had'st O Christ thou had'st thy body whipped that by thy stripes I might be healed thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounded that by thy deadly wounds I might be ever Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible beyond degree an offended God dyes to set offending man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah goodness that surpasseth all love that wert in love mercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not when I was a friend but an enemy not when I was in Covenant with thee but when I was out of Covenant not when I loved thee but when I hated thee not when I was lovely but loveless not when I was holy but unholy not when I desired it but when I desired it not not for asking it but when I askt it not not for having done any thing for thee but even then when I did all that I could against thee not when I was thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils and all this O God my God that
may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or tast of them is so delitious Ah how delitiously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may alwayes prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spirituall eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spirituall thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountaine of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much he is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yet by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be doâ—e on me and in me that I may do thy will here on earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falling I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be alwayes afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I beleive I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth alwayes Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gratious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternall and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and beleive that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Mans best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou maist be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is alwayes present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which afrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most hartily beg and beseech thee be thou gratiously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Iesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk uprightly in the mid'st of this crooked froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfaigned
love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gratious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdome it self not only good but goodness it self not only merciful but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repyning nor upbrayding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be alwayes seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtaine thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and as able as willing as great as good and as good as great nothing can hinder thee nothing can deprive thee of being what thou art for before any thing was thou wert all things have their all from thee thou art the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end it is the greatest and the cheifest joy of all the Angells and Saints in Heaven and on earth that thou art what thou art and that they belong unto thee and that thou art pleased to own them for thine own thy glory is their glory thine end their aime thy will their wills their chief desire to be is to please thee O God to please thee and to adore thee without thee we know we can do nothing nor should be nothing thou O Lord God art our all and our all for all our springs are in thee and from thee And now O Lord God I come at this time before thee to speak a word unto thee but I find my self as unable as unfit and as unfit as unable being empty of all good and full fit and ready for any or all evils such O Lord thou knowest is my wretched and miserable nature averse unto all that is good and prone unto all that is evil but thou O my God in Jesus Christ that art all good and able to do all good fill O Lord fill I humbly beseech thee my empty heart with thy self even with thy fulness that I may speak unto thee thine own words and not mine own for mine own words would be but words but meer words but thy words even thine O God are works and work I know effectually thou do'st not here us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our works sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake O Lord which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake thou hearest us Ah Lord God let me then so heare thy voyce as my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee O Lord is to live yea to live in thee to thee and for thee which to do Ah Lord thou knowest is the desire I have to live Ah great God be thou then gratiously pleased in the abundance of thy great goodness to speak a word in season unto this dull dead senceless heart of mine that I may be so ravisht therewith as I may forthwith come out of my self flye from my self hate loath and abhor my self in dust and ashes cause me O Lord to consider my self as indeed I am which is a little creeping clay speaking earth a worme and no man vile sinful wretched and abominable from the Crown of the head to the sole of the foot there is no whole part in me I am more Leprous then Gehazy much more unclean then was Mary Magdalen more blind in soul then Bartemeus was in body more lame to run after thee O Lord in thy wayes then was Mephibosheth in his feet my soul runs with a greater flux of sin then was the Hemorish Issue and more then thirty eight years O Lord thou knowest all these diseases have been upon me Ah Lord my Lord and my God be thou therefore pleased in love and mercy to look upon me with one of thine eyes and heale me and thou shalt do as great a work as in curing them all I know and am assured that thou hast so great a skill that if thou wilt thou canst with a word forgive the one and heale the other Ah wonder of wonders yea too too wonderful to beleive but by those whom thou dwellest in that thou wilt dwell and delight to dwell in such a heart but all such know O Lord through the power of thy goodness and the working of thy holy spirit in their hearts that nothing is hard for thee O God to do but all things are as easie as possible thou bringest light out of darkness and turnest evil into good with the word of thy mouth for he is only worthy whom thou in favour accountest worthy Seeing then O Lord God that it is thy good will and pleasure to do so much for me as thou canst do which is to give me thine own self be thou Ah be thou pleased in the riches of thy mercy and free grace to accept of my self not as a recompence O Lord for this thy great gift but as an acknowledgment that I have received so great a gift from thee and that therefore I am no longer nor no more mine own nor any others either in Heaven or on earth but
thine own O Lord and thine all and I most humbly and most unfeignedly beseech thee from the bottome of my heart in Jesus Christ that it may so continue and be unto all Eternity and that I may not henceforth think speak or do any thing by my self from my self alone without thee O Lord but that all my thoughts words and actions may be wholly guided and govern'd by thee to do all things agreeable to thy holy will and according to thine own heart who are the heart of my heart the life of my life and the soul of my soul for by thee only and all one I live move and have my being Give me then grace O Lord God that I may so love thee as to adore thee so fear thee as not offend thee so delight in thee as that thou mayest be my only delight so obey thee as to be obecient unto the death so honour thee as to walk humbly before thee and give up my self unto thee let me so run after thee as to obtaine thee and get a blessing from thee which may be a blessing unto me in life in death and after death that by receiving from thee daily grace I may give thee daily glory Ah Lord thou knowest how my heart seeketh to find thee that I may enjoy thee who art and who only art the joy and rejoycing of my heart that I may love thee fear thee adore thee praise thee prize thee and give up my self unto thee who hast given thy self for me and to me O Lord thou art all things and givest all things unto all Creatures all things have their all from thee who art all in all in all things thou art O Lord brighter and much more glorious then the Sun for the glorious brightness of the Sun is from the brightness of thy glory the Heavens have their beauty from thy beautifulness the earth and the Sea their plenty fulness from thy plentiful fulness all the Creatures have all their strength from thy strength and man his power might and wisdome to govern them and all things under the Sun from thine Almighty power and wisdome Ah most glorious Lord God who art thus glorious to behold how can I Worme behold thy glory or thee O Lord the Lord of all glory I confess and acknowledge that I am not able of my self to know my self my vileness wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and send me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to to goe and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee noâ—hing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be alwayes with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be made holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be alwayes open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine armes to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto thee that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth into Heaven to live a mortall life on earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on earth to free me from eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on earth to confirme and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st ware an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might weare a glorious Crown of glory hereafter in Heaven thou wol'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine armes nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love they feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thornes to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a speare to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus
by â—hy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandements either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptinesâ— and thy fulness reâ—dy to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and to cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautiful my own slavery and thy freedome and â—râ—eness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almigtiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were Created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdome for that would be but the wisdome of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdome which will be the words of wisdome and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lusts worlds lusts and self lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to goe from thee for thou hast the words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacobs Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his armes my armes might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine Enemyes O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucific themselves and their bosome sins hate themselves and their own wayes persecute themselves and Crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing despicable poor I untill thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most gratiously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannys of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utterr and totall destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the house of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me untill thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ what else thon knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottome of my heart unfaignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think loves God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many
in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must nad will overcome the World and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mysticall body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an Adopted Son and Child of God an heire of Heaven and Co-heire with Jesus Christ of that Kingdome life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where where their God will nor I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeale in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my dayes that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aime and desire my supreame soveraign principal chief and superiour good my sot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old wayes and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may be to delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thought but thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any tentation so as to prevaile over me but though tentations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remaine in my heart my heart may not remaine in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the world and the flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is borne of a woman that he should be righteous behold he purteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But Ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more uncleane filthy and abominable am I then any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin covered sinning and sought it as for hid treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O reach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most pretious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightfull are thy wayes and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandements and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desireable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountaine the Ocean and the Originall of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what is all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better then all thing for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctification remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked one with all the powers of the Kingdome of darkness sin Hell death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its lusts for they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born againe of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs misticall body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly members of his glorious body for they that are betrothed unto him here by grace shall be hereafter marryed unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I
wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sence and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their fouls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter then Snow purer then Wooll finer the Gold and brighter then the Sun and make them O Lord more then Conquerors and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ. Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercyes fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gratious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be alwayes willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not alwayes mourn as men and women without hope but poure down O Lord in much love and mercy poure down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercyes from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all iniquities transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemyes wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gratious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor goe astray from thy Divine and holy Commandements Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by land and bring them to their Ports and places in safety defend them from all Pyrats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire againe but that I may alwayes henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding boundful and mercyful dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy-Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledg of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledg of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be then was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness then after the knowledg of it to turn from thy holy Commandements delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me
would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinful bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judg to acquit him there must judge and condemne himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christs flock and be of his fold and of his sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to die their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness alwayes dwell within me that Heaven may be alwayes within me and that I may be alwayes in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holinesse be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may alwaies long to be filled with thy fulnesse of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may alwaies say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth then to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my one sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confesse that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodnesse love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witnesse that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodnesse is so great and thy greatnesse so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodnesse to do great good things for thy great goodnesse sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonnesse but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a lovelesse yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy waies which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantnesse of them and to delight to sit alwaies under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right wel knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy waies is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk wel pleasing
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joyes full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have I often desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to rhee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that art good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodnesse that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinsul dust and ashes the richest choycest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether fatisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are alwaies thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaring up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinckle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consists in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worchiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we are fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the life of my life yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heavens gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace So that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make Warr for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in blisse and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
be Ignominious all my days and honour my God alwayes then be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerable heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ. 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ is to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather me thinks be ever afflicted then never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and kiss the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God lead me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love nothing in comparison of thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou did'st love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I Love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor raign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me Lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to afflict my self that is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions thou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to afflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions me thinks I had never sought to learn to know thee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly fear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the mid'st of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repynings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord for that I never had affliction in the flesh to my remembrance but it brought me comfort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace my afflictions have been my best and choisest benedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord this grace to esteem them as tokens and signs of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull for all these thy afflictions which deserve so much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for that thou hast made my heart such as it doth truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thy will and to submit to all thy Wills Will. 46. Ah Lord give me grace to know thy will and a will to learn to know thy grace 47. Thy glory is my gloryes end thy end is my gloryes aime 48. I desire no other honour O Lord then to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition so I may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any work so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only longing my only joy delight desire aime and end 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed to do thy work though never so mean in the eies of men let it be alwayes beautifull honourable and glorious to my eies heart will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terms and conditions and I will confess them to be honourable terms and conditions advantagious and glorious 54. I had much rather have Communion with Christ in a dungeon then be adorned and ever possess all Solomons outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the worlds frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the worlds dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercyes in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Iesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affections and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraigne Lord who art the Fathers glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions I may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine at thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and all the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more then my life yea then the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joyes of Heaven to my self as to do thy will on earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solace may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst I am on earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yet all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit
of grace my sole comforter and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thy will O thou my Father in Iesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell O my sweet and dear Iesus if it could be then thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be in Hell and obey God then in Heaven and sin against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those things and those things only both for soul and body on earth as may prepare me and make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death then choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin here yet whilst I live here suffer me not O God at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do beleive that Christ Jesus is my Jesus and my Christ and that he makes intercession for me every moment and ever will even to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction with enjoying thee O my Saviour then all manner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosper it 82. As long O God as thou givest me bread water and grace I will acknowledge that I have sufficient meat drink and rayment yea that I fare delitiously and am arrayed more gloriously then if I were with purple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wages I desire and which will and shall ever content me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast given me a heart to be willing to part from all things most willingly so I might part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt O God do but only leave me thy self in possession 86. All good thoughts come in love O God from thee to me but woe me miserable me for that all evil thoughts come from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and all my thoughts such that I may be only such and alwayes such as thou would'st have me to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and raigne by thy power and might in me that the mighty power and raigne of sin may be cast out of me 89. Let not the things of the world put thee O Lord out of my mind not sin out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and power to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts and affections out of my heart that there be a place for thee and thee only to dwell in my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the worlds gifts without thee my Saviour as the Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beleive and esteem my best duties and performances as from my self to deserve nothing but shame confusion being but as filthy rags and a menstrous cloath and that I am less and less worth at the best then the least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can wash me nothing but thy death could satisfie for me nothing but thy resurrection can raise me and nothing but thy living can make me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony and the hony comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which are but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of the world and hate it then all the world and love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more affraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health then of sickness and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will feare neither for I know that that which he giveth is the best and I shall profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to be alwayes able to meditate on the love and sweetness that is in my Saviour I would not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one houre to gaine all that the world hath to give 99. Surely if I could alwaies think on my Saviour I would willingly alwayes think on him I would not only have him in all my thoughts but I would have him be all my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with the Spirit of grace were to be prefer'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets of sin though their end were not bitter but sweet 101. I would willingly loose all that I have of the world if so be I could loose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I should yet I remember well I never did nor I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my own words when I speak by prayer or any other way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my thoughts and my words when I take upon me to speak unto God or of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive and accept of both through thy merits and mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so to live as I may be alwayes ready willing and rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine owne thy time and thy will be done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing for sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitterer unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any affliction unless that which I cannot beare sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lord till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin dead to me and then Lord take me to thy self when thou wilt that I may live for ever to thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me poverty and Contempt with the grace of content I shall be as rich and as honourable as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord from the world and then take the world from me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace to love thee that it may extinguish all other loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant and let me know it and I will
never desire nor ask any other honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ in me and doubt it then not in me and believe it rather such true sorrow then such false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven I would not desire to be there my desire should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as I may alwayes fear thee and so fear thee as I may ever unfainedly love thee let these two graces be never sever'd from me nor I from them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but let every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ. 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy mercyes O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet untill I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more untill thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of sin and the life of Eternall Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou would'st have me to be which is I trust to be one with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to be what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give all things for thou art all things therefore of thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment longer after I have done the work of my Generation that is not live for my self but for thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to do thy will to will thy will and to submit to thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thine only thine all thine alwayes thine and ever thine here in thy Kingdome of grace and hereafter in thy Kingdome of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punishment of sin and not sin then the evil of sin and no punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want the worlds sweets and in its want to find no want but even in want most to abound 135. O Lord thou knowest I desire not so much the world as to have my thoughts and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life be purchased for to choose and commit one sin willingly I would not purchase nor have it on that condition but rather depend on the love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. 137. I am sure God is my God because he hath given me a heart to fear him in love and to love him with fear and trembling to rejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his will universally and to depend and trust on his sure mercies and faithfull promise in Jesus Christ. 138. I am sure God did ever love me because I am sure he doth now love me and therefore I am sure he will ever love me for where he once loveth he ever loveth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me a heart to hate all sin universally with a sincere and perfect hatred both in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me true conviction and sincere sound and unfaigned repentance from for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinfull both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because I delight in his wayes and for that all my longings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because I find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me because I would not commit any sin nor could I sin willingly to get his love if I doubted of it 144. I know and am sure that God loveth me because that I do most heartily and sincerely desire to love him a thousand thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me because I love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me because I desire nothing so much as to be his faithfull humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because I love every man especially such as I beleive love him and because their conditions what ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because I love every mans soul prosperity and happiness as my own and their bodies more then my own 149. I know God loveth me because those that have been and are still my Enemies in the flesh I love both in the flesh and Spirit 150. I know God loveth me because I do sincerely pray for the souls and bodyes of those whom I have cause to beleive that they hate me 151. I know God loves me because I hate nothing but what he hates which is sin 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovest me when thou wert here for I cannot else love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and be delighted ravished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my self as a token of my love Ah give me thine and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee I confess I had from thee it being now in me O let
us both abide and let me dwell in thee 163. Let it never seperated be from thee nor me but of two let us be made one and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to do thy will it is to thee and to remember thee 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never be led astray 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing by my self as for my self but all things by thy self and for thy self 167. Be thou alwayes with me that I may never be without thee O most holy and blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may be all and alwayes sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more for thy service sake then for my souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaven more to do thy will then to have my will 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaven I would not desire Heaven but my desire should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be in me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul O Lord thou knowest is only to thee and for thee and to be alwayes guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O Lord untill my soul and body shall be filled with thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever and goe not out of me never for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave 175. I am most willing and ready to loose my life to preserve thee O Lord but not to preserve my life to loose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me which is all take when thou wilt and in what manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions with me I will make none with thee but to obey thee and serve thee on thine own terms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my self as thou knowest me and to hate my self for sin as thou lovedst me when I was in my sin 179. I desire to hate sin as the Devil to fear sin as Hell and to fly from sin as from thy wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give my self O sweet Jesus receive me and accept of me 181. O Lord go with me where I am to go that I may be alwayes with thee never from thee nor do any thing without thee 182. O Lord let me only do what thou consentest unto 183. I fear sin much more then the Author of sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest and my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength O sweet Jesus to Conquer sin and I shall not fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven and thou should'st O Lord make me my own Iudge I should and could not do other wayes then condemne my self for ever into Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie Laud praise and extoll thy glorious name O Lord God for making Iesus Christ my Iudge whom thou hast appointed also to be my advocate 188. Were I to choose I would choose no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot loose my cause if he plead it nor be condemned he Iudging me who was Iudged and condemn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore I shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and therefore I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I shall ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thornes that I might ever weare a Crown of Eternall and incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity Captive that I might be delivered for ever out of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and therefore I am sure he will lift me unto him 196. He is gone to prepare a place for me therefore I am sure I shall be for ever well plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand of God and hath convinc'd and Conquer'd all my accusers and enemies therefore I shall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit down with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority given him by God therefore I am sure no power shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not be afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but thee nor love â—othing but thy feare 202. My love O Lord to thee is surely thy 〈…〉 203. O Lord put the vaile of thy fear before my eyes and my heart that I may not sin against thee by neâ—ther 204. Ah Lord God suffer me never more to doubt of thy love seeing thou hast so freely and willingly given the Son of thy love even thy dear only eldest naturall and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye for me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased so to take up thy aboad in my heart and to dwell there as I may alwayes find thee there to comfort me and to direct me how to walk well pleasing unto thee let me always hear thee speaking to me how I shall do every thing I take in hand to do so that all my thoughts words and deeds may tend only to thy honour and glory the Credit of the Gospel the good of others and the eternall Salvation of mine own soul. 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all afflictions to consider that its much less then I deserve and that thou mightest justly have sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only my desert what less thou givest me is more then I have or can deserve and less punishment then the least of my sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire to bless thy name and to praise thee with a thankfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Le O Lord all thy afflictions teach me and tell me that thou art mindfull of me and that they are friendly yea Fatherly Visitations and tokens of thy Fatherly true love in Iesus Christ. 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my portion in Heaven for any Portion of earth on earth the honours riches or pleasures thereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service and work O God be preferred by me and be dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united to him cannot be taken out of him no more then the same water cast into the Sea can be taken out again for he is become a part of Christ even as the drops that fall into the Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one with thee received me a little drop into thy self the Ocean of blessedness and of all goodness happiness and felicity My sweet Jesus I am sure I shall never be separated from thee 214. Let me O God so live the
remainder of all my life here on earth as that thou maiest not be ashamed to be called my God and to give me eternall life hereafter in Heaven 215. O sweet glorious and glorified Iesus inhabiting Eternity from all Eternity look not on me as I am in my self without thee but as one in thee even as a member of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God with thine own love even with that love in Iesus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine own 217. When O Lord I have thee though alone I have what I desire yea and all that I desire for thou art all and the only desire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self though without any thing else and I will never ask thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God give me all things else and not thy self I shall account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Iesus I have all things and having not thee I have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and that shall content me but unless thou dost give me thy self I am resolved never to be contented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lord who art my delight as I may do all things by thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may alwayes enjoy thee beholding thy glorious face and the light of thy blessed Countenance and may hear thy most sweet and comfortable voyce to comfort revive and refresh me 224. Be thou O Lord mine all and let me be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would not commit any sin yet I am not at all afraid of all the sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all sins yet I much rejoyce that I was made a sinner 227. Though I know that God justifies the ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth abound more then sin yet I would not sin that grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my sins to have their pardon I would not choose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all my sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be as unwilling to live in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the committing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before committed as the punishment after committed yea fear sin more then the punishment of sin choose the punishment and not sin rather then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because it is sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after pardoned as before and before committed as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as thou lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwilling to commit sin as thou art willing to pardon them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwilling to commit any sin as thou O Lord art willing to pardon all sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all sin that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know that thou pardonest all sins and transgressions yet suffer me not willingly to choose or commit any sin nor consent to any Transgression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dye 241. Let sin dye in me that thou mayest O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may O Lord live to thee 243. Let me O Lord dye to sin whilst I live that I may not dye in sin when I am dead 244. Let me O Lord so dye here to sin that I may not dye hereafter for sin 245. O Lord let me so dye as I may not dye Eternally 246. Let sin O Lord be rooted out of me that I may be rooted in thee and thou in me my sweet and saving Iesus 247. Let me O Lord be so rooted in thee as I may never be rooted out of thee 248. Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit 249. Let my root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the fruit be like the Tree 250. Let O Lord my death to sin appear by the appearance of the life of grace 251. Let me O Lord so live as I may never dye but to sin 252. Let me O Lord so live to thee here as I may ever live with thee and in thee hereafter 253. Were not thy work O God the work of my Salvation yet would I prefer it and do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and Eternall Lord God Glorious in Holiness fearfull in Praises doing wonders the Heavens are not pure in thy sight and yet thou art gratiously pleased in Jesus Christ to look down and to dwell in poor man who is sinfull Dust and Ashes thou livest only in the highest Heavens and in the lowest hearts the one is thy Kingdome of Glory the other of thy grace good Lord make my heart so low in my own esteem as it may be so high in thine that thou may'st make it thy delight to dwell in it for even Ah Lord when I consider all that thou hast done for me and all that I have done against thee I am ashamed and confusion seems to cover my face as a vaile having O Lord transgrest all thy holy and just Lawes and broken wilfully willingly knowingly and presumptuously all thy Divine Commandements from the first to the last from the greatest to the least as well by Commission as Omission as well by actuall sin as Originall sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both wilfully and willingly on thy dayes as well as on our dayes in thy house as in other houses in doing thy work as in doing my own work in duties as well as out of duties praying sins reading sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Sacrament sins so that my repentance must be repented off and my Prayers Prayed against even my sighs and groans have need of tears to wash them and my very tears of doubled tears How Lord have I made thy holy things unholy unto my self and turned thy graces into wantonness and quencht the motions of thy holy Spirit by wilfulness how Lord have I treasured up wrath against the day of wrath unto my poor soul and made thee a savour of death unto it when thou comest as a Savour of life how have I Lord hated to be reformed and turned from thee when thou camest running towards me in love and in mercy how have I cast thy promises behind my back and trampled thy precepts under my feet how many times have I broken my Promises Vows and Covenants made with thee in my straights with how much more eagerness and earnestness have I served my sinfull Lusts then thee in thy services my good Lord
God and how much more pains have I taken for earthly things then for Heavenly how much more delightsome have these things below and the remembrance of them been unto me then the things above how much sweeter hath sin been to me then grace and how have I bent my will against thy great and holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the wayes of Eternal destruction and how good Lord have I vehemently delighted and laboured to make others to commit the same sins and to do the same things how easily and how willingly did I believe the suggestions of the Devil and with what willingness have I left thy work and how often good Lord to do his nay which is yet worse how often have I tempted him the tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew that the wages of sin was death even Temporal Spiritual and Eternall for body and soul doing my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins to those I do not to those I cannot remember and that both for greatness and multitude yea what are all the sins I have committed to those I would have committed had'st not thou in love and in mercy O most gratious loving and most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ restrained me and come in continually unto my help succour even when I was altogether helpless and succourless thou did'st O Lord own me when I would not own thee thou did'st run after me when I did my utmost to run from thee thou did'st O Lord continue knocking when I would not open to thee and wert'st contented such was thy endearing loving love unto me to stand at the dore of my heart without untill thy locks were wet with the dew of Heaven and when I was most pitiless then did'st thou most pity me and took'st me from my self and out of the power of all my adversaries and didâ—st enter with ferceable possession into my heart there to lodge sup and dwell for ever which though thou foundest to be more unclean then a dunghill and is not this enough to cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth to stand amazed and with wonder and astonishment to admire the condescention of so great a God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay what could'st thou do more for me then thou hast done to bring me out of the death of sin to the life of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into the suburbs of Heaven me thinks Ah me thinks I may truly say out of Hell it self into Heaven it self such a vast difference there is such a blessed and glorious change there is already blessed and ever magnified and praised be thy ever blessed great and most glorious name of Jehovah my strength and my Portion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me out of the pawes of that rearing Lyon the Devil who had almost devoured me but hast given me of thine own power and strength to overcome him to trample him under my feet and to despite him to his very face thou hast discovered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my own deceitfull wicked heart that did thus betray me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretch as I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I am a worm and no man the greatest and the chiefest of sinners the very worst of the worst of men O Lord accept of what I have to give thee of these two poor mites my soul and body true O Lord I confess and acknowledge that they are not worthâ— to be put into thy rich Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stamp on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jesus Christ I am sure they will pass for currant coyne in thy Heavenly Court and thou thine own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Treasure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy heart and let thy love be setled upon mine that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee and let all my members and faculties be but as instruments to act thy holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and great as good when wilt thou by thine Almighty power utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me when shall the time O Lord come that it shall be Crucified unto me and I unto it when shall the time come that I shall see it no more when shall the time come that thou wilt O Lord give me a finall Victory over it and totally destroy it when Lord shall come that blessed day wherein I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an old garment and never more put it on when all tears fears sighs and groans for sins shall be expell'd and extinquished when thou O Lord my sweet and blessed Iesus shalt only be my all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my heart that my heart be not in sin and though sin rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it never raigne in me a moment as a Soveraigne and though I cannot live without sin yet good Lord for thy goodness sake let me live without consenting unto delighting in or approving of any sin whatsoever either in thought word or deed but let there be alwayes and continually in me a heedfull watchfull carefull Circumspect care though temptations fall on me let me not fall into temptation but deliver me from all evil O thou my Father which art in Heaven and cause me to work out my Salvation with fear and trembling and to labour more and more to make my calling and election sure before I goe hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the abundance of thy love and mercy provided for me a Kingdome which cannot be shaken let me have grace in my heart to come before thee and to worship thee the true God with reverence and godly fear that I may alwayes run and not grow weary and walk and not faint write O Lord all thy Lawes of grace in my heart and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never goe astray to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits weane me O Lord from the world ere thou take me out of the world and whilst I do live in the world let me be dead to it and to all the things of it which are the honours riches and pleasures thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life and give me those things and those things only which may make me thine and only thine that I may be alwayes thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world as if I used it not that I may not abuse it my self nor thee who hast given it me to use but not to abuse
him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me untill I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdome and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdome of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to waite that when thy Kingdome shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joyes delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it s thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul. 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be doe and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken off tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only but what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangeable unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more greater that I love thee only but more greater then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemne not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercyes for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according ot thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition then my present condition and alwaies submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost alwayes abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should goe from me I fear I should goe from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I consess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry loud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I goe softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his deare Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 95. And seeing Heavens joyes are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I
made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streames and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternall paines and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joyes he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unability my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee not can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me thee O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to beleive in thee to depend on thee and to rowle my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already own thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe thee more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expectest only an acknowledgment that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedome Lord Ah Lord the freedome all the freedome all the freedome that I desire is to be thy Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the dayes of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou alwayes in me that I may alwayes be in thee stand by me continually that I may alwayes stand unright and walk uprightly and never fall goe with me that I may never goe from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work alwayes for me that I may alwayes work for thee live in me O Lord live alwayes in me that I may alwayes live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth alwayes do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choyce Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voyce that I may alwayes answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what with thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine lawes of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandements O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then hony yea then the hony comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or pretious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth loudly and sweetly let mine eyes alwayes look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the wayes of thy Commandements and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better then life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and
Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be alwaies gratiously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthinesse his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and Conversation all the rest of my dayes and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infinitenesse and incomprehensiblenesse of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heaven even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gratious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they all are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wildernesse with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the firy furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whether thou hast by thine accustomed good and gratious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me upto a spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the forest and the greatest of thy Judgements upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodnesse and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to passe by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Crosse who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgement against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodnesse sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lust I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy waies of holinesse and righteousnesses all the daies of my life that here here O Lord where I have dispised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforthwalk wellpleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilish life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy daies O Lord and on our daies in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth in all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I beseech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is
beloved son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not alwaies thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy soul delighted only 47. Thy love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life our of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pleased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is rightly and truely love God first and most he is their ultimate end the end of all their aime and the aime of all their end is to love him they love him for all that is in him for that they know that he is all holy all just and all good and they love him chiefly that is most of all because he is God that is because he is what he is even such a God as he is they adore his greatnesse as his goodnesse and fear his goodnesse as his greatnesse they prize his mercy at the highest value and value his Justice at the highest price they admire the knowledge of his Wisdom and as much the Wisdom of his Knowledge they stand amazed at his might and are confounded at his power alike they wonder at his highly lownesse and lowly highnesse that God would be made man and that a man should be still God they are ashamed for that he would be like them and they abhor themselves that they are notwithstanding so unlike him they therefore long for holinesse knowing that it is the greatest and chiefest happinesse it making them like unto him holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect though not so perfectly or purely holy 50. All such as love God thus love themselves for him that is would himself for himself his love to love him his fear to fear him his honour to honour him his knowledg to know him his wisdome to please him his goodness to be good his justice to be just his holiness to be holy his greatness greatly to exalt his power and his might to be mighty in power for him his mercy to be mercifull as he is merciful for being by him Created for himself unto good works they would that all their works were good and all for him to live to him in him and for him for ever and for ever thus if they love themselves 't is for him it is to be his and to do his will on earth whil'st on earth as they shall in Heaven when in Heaven 51. And all such are all full of true love for all their Neighbours and their Neighbours are all men far and near Jew and Gentile bond and free all have their love they love all their condition makes no condition with them they desire and seek and pray for their happiness as for their own they mourn for them many times when they do not mourn for themselves yea they weep much and often in secret for their secret as well as for their open sins they are ashamed on their behalf because they choose not the way of life but still walk walk on still in the wayes of death they have no Enemyes but all are their friends their dear and beloved yea dearly beloved friends such as hate them they love such as curse them they bless such as speak evil of them they pray for and that God would lay none of their sins to their charge they account happiness to them even as their own happiness and rejoyce with them when they do rejoyce yea they would many times willingly and cheerfully part with their joyes their best joyes even their spiritual joyes for their sakes that they might enjoy them they would be content to be as it were in darkness sorrow and sadness that they might be in the light see the light and rejoyce in the light of Gods Countenance they would that they did enjoy these joyes here to be brought home by any meanes to enjoy them for ever hereafter for those that love God whom they never saw must doe and can do no other then love their brethren whom they see daily and those likewise whom they never saw because they are also their brethren 52. Such as love not God rightly which is to love him as God love him for the Loaves not for his love for themselves not for himself for themselves alone or chiefly and not chiefly which is alone for himself they love him because they have need of him his love is lovely not because it is in him or because it is his love and for that it makes him thus lovely as to be only lovely and desireable but they love his love because it is in him for them they love him for Heaven much more then Heaven for him they do not love him because he hath so loved them as to make them lovely and forgiving them of his own love to love him in and with true love 't is not love that they truly love or value as it
and all gain losses if I lose Christ. 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be alwaies a like as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endlesse good felicity and happinesse which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly die to live and live to die 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so fickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full of vanity and therefore the more the lesser worth the worser and the lighter be all nothing but all vanity 82. The more there is of a bad thing the worser and the lesser too is the thing that is to goodnesse 83. Well therefore may it be said of the best of this Worlds of this Worlds best as the old old woman said unto her daughter arise daughter Vanity and come to thy daughter Vanity for thy daughter Vanity hath another daughter of Vanity 84. Ah fruitful but cursed fruitful womb that brings forth so much cursed fruit full of Vanity 85. How much better were it that thou wert barren than thus to bear 86. Vanity is in the getting Vanity is in the keeping Vanity is in the spending and there is Vanity for the most part in giving of this Worlds Vanity So that all in this World even all this World is Vanity yea all Vanity and Vexation of Spirit 87. Ah vain foolish man that labourest so hard that hazardest so much for that which at the best is so vain being so full of Vanity and which is worse vexation of spirit 88. If then its best be so bad what is its worst if it s all be worth nothing at all why wilt thou then be such a fool as to labour for that which is not and to spend thy time thy dear most dear and most pretious time for that which will not for that which cannot profit thee 89. Let then Ah let then the morrow care for its self care thou O man Oh carelesse man for thy self that is for thy better self which will make thee ever happy or else thy carelesnesse ever miserable miserable for ever 90. Be not Ah be not so carelesse to put off thy care till to morrow seeing there is a change every moment but fear still Ah fear thou still that change which a day may bring forth 91. Let the World take its own make sure what is thine own if thou wilt so have it which is Christ Jesus and all his merits and say truly and bouldly I will have none but Christ I care for none but Christ nor to know nothing but Christ and him crucified be then contented if thou hast him and be not contented what ever thou hast if thou hast him not 92. For all other things give discontent and bring with them Vexation of Spirit but he gives alone all true contentment and brings with him the peace of the Spirit 93. If then our peace in believing bring so great joy that it passeth all understanding Ah how great shall our peace and joy be when it shall be above believing that is when we shall possesse the God and giver of all peace who is our rest and peace yea our peaceable rest and he will augment our understanding as much as our peace and yet our peace shall surpasse ours and all others understanding 94. And if our joy be so great when we believe the certainty thereof Ah how great in possession when we shall know certainly with the most certain and sure knowledg of God that it shall be ever most surely sure and certain 95. If then these things below be able to satisfie any a moment surely the things above above all things shall be able and will ever ever will satisfie all for all there shall enjoy all God who hath all things and is all things and more then all things and he giveth himself unto all being all in all and over all and above and more than all 96. Ah Lord God the searcher the trier and knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord thou knowest my heart and therefore knowest right well what my heart heartily chiefly and principally desireth above beyond and more than all things which is thy dear thy sweet and pretious most pretious sweet and dear self Ah let me so have thee as never to be without thee and I will never more ask any thing more of thee fill me Ah fill me so with thy blessed fulnesse as that I may never more be emptied of thee but may continually receive from thee grace for grace daily grace to give thee daily glory much grace to give thee much glory continually grace to give thee continually glory Give Ah Lord give so thy self to me as I may ever give my self to thee to be all thine alwaies thine only thine and ever thine Enter Ah Lord be thou pleased so to enter into me as I may enter into thee my Joy O my Lord even into thee who art the Lord of my Joy espouse me Ah espouse me here O Lord by grace that I may be hereafter for ever married with thee unto thee in glory Raign rule bless guide govern direct protect preserve and defend me from all evils perils and dangers that I may enjoy those blessed great gratious holy and glorious
would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the waies of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battel and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and Soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the uglinesse and the filthinesse of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a child of God and an heir of Heaven yea coheir with Jesus Christ it makes them a child of wrath an heir of hell and coheir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holinesse 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partaker of his own holy and divine nature to love the brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joyes enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for ever more 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah Holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy children and servants here on Earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may alwaies go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the waies of all truth and holinesse which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holinesse blessednesse and eternal life and happinesse 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all carelesse sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods Holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and tast and see how gratious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truely miserably poor that art Christlesse though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicasies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the gold of Ophir and the pretious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy servants and Kings daughters thy maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgement thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distresse they shall take themselves wings and flye away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou carelesse man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah Remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the pit with thee nor thy money neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are
Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infinitnesse of his goodnesse to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the world even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake then the richest of the world yea then to have all the world for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ. 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the world hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flyes away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unlesse it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the world not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to goe to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to goe to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the wayes to Heaven and never goe out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Lawes and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honour for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is Wise in his own Conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary so doing But the wicked curseth and is alwayes empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the Portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance goe along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the Portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladnesse is alwayes in the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth alwayes 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousnes 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet oyle 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and goe not out of his paths for the delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladnesse 249. Whereever the Lord is there is bountyfulnesse and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Leane upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His wayes are wayes of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want vvhere he raigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a winde which is
shall be never nearer him then it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possesse him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holinesse and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holinesse destroyes sin as light doth darknesse this eternal darknesse of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holinesse doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holinesse is from God and sin from the Devil holinesse from the Creator sin from the Creature holinesse had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holinesse was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holinesse the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and on earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullnesse ad they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulnesse without having in them any emptinesse being alwaies full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gratious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resasiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give him glory for all which is what he only requires for this his continually giving of us all even to give him continually for ever and ever all glory for his thus ever and for ever giving us all grace perfect grace and glory yea fulnesse of all perfect grace and glory 281. As on Earth we delight to have much so nothing more delights God than that we crave much the more we ask the more we are sure to have and therefore doth he did us to open our mouths wide and then he promiseth to fill them and the wider they are the sooner they shall be filled his waies nor his thoughts are not as ours he is never weary giving nor repenteth importunate beggers are best welcome and those that are not satisfied with a little he takes pleasure to give them much our dissatisfaction herein is his satisfaction our covetings causeth his liberality with our ambition to have all and to be denyed nothing at all he is right well pleased and by thus exalting him as our chief and only good doth he exalt us and set us on such high mountains that we can even see not only such a glory as is the glory of this World and the old Jerusalem but that of his Kingdom of Grace here and Glory hereafter the New Jerusalem the City of our God where he is sitting on his Throne of Majesty and great Glory unvailing himself as it were that we may behold him and his unapproachable transcendent bright glorious light of Glory 282. I would be willingly barren even of all Spiritual comforts if thereby I might be made more able to bear fruit to God and for God I would have no comfort nor delight if thereby as it were I could and did more delight and comfort my God that is I would rather Joy God than enjoy God by knowing or feeling nor that I could be content to know that I were without him that he were not my God God forbid but I prefer him much before my own chief good of Joy his glory being my only yea all my Glory 283. I would rather yea much rather do Gods work here and have no wages than have wages here and do no work 284. I had rather yea much rather whilst here be alwaies working than alwaies receiving wages for this life of time I know is appoynted for our working time and our hereafter life of time for our time of reciveing wages 285. I would whilst here be willing to spend all my time to do all good for I know that all my hereafter time shall be all spent in receiving all good 286. I would willingly most willingly work Gods work alwaies while here for that Ah for that blessed wages which I know I shall receive from him for ever hereafter which is such and so great as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man at any time to conceive I know that I shall enter not only into the joy of my Lord but also into the Lord of my joy 287. It is wages great enough and good enough to be alwais doing thy great good work O Great God 288. I would willingly Ah most willingly serve the Lord most and best of all men if I could and yet I desire as much and as willingly would that every man might serve him more and please him better 289. Ah what delight is it to that soul that delights his God what joy doth it bring to that heart that joyeth his God that is to rejoyce alwaies in him for God much delighteth in those yea most of all that make him their only delight 290. Ah Lord how unpleasant are all other pleasures to those that flow from thee how empty Ah how empty is all other fulnesse what poverâ—â— Ah how beggarly a thing is all other riches and how little Ah how little joy doth that Soul take in all other things that knoweth thee and the Ocean of joy yea fulnesse of joy and blessednesse that is O Lord in thee and prepared by thee to rejoyce them that thus wait at thy gates and are hunger-starved for want of it 292. Who can Ah who can measure the Heavens span the Earth empty the Sea count the Starrs and the sands of the Sea shore if not who then can rightly speak of or tell the mercies of our God who delighteth in mercy yea whose mercies are far above all these and all other his works 291. How willingly Ah how willingly would I forget my self to mind only my God and to do all his mind to fulfill all his will and to rejoyce in all his doings I would love my self my own self no more but only my God my God only and ever adore I would willingly deny my self that is my flesh all pleasures to please him that hath rivers of pleasures provided to please fill and satisfie me with even such as flow from his own right hand 293.
all things is to have Jesus Christ for our Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 320. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing alwaies the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou alwaies be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or maiest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lie not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfained repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Ann. 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holinesse lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holinesse is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodnesse is from his goodnesse yea from his overflowing fulnesse of goodnesse they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darknesse dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holinesse delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holinesse or Heavenly holinesse 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other things yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mistery not in the History in the Spirit not in the letter nor from notions but from motions living walking raygning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and preservingly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there then the wisdome of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meet words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grow and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse then if it were not then if it were nothing 10. Mins greatness power strength honour beauty wisdome prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certaine but that all he hath is uncertaine what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and waile this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to loose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to loose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to loose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer words true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by faith not the faith of words to say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe be doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandements 18. But to feel what a man speaks and to speak that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prise any other wisdome or to account any other things wisdome then this one thing feelingly to
us which would bring us more joy joy us more then our hearts are able to hold then we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be alwayes loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul alwayes be resatiated with thy love and kindnesse even with thy loving kindnesse O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercyes alwayes glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandements be as a Chaine of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole law which is holy be written on my heart with the singer of thy holy and blessed spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but alwayes and ever delight in them much more then on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual tast of my soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul alwayes feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corne Wine and Oyle which are the riches honours and pleasures of the world be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of Wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfainedly all the daies and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my daily food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unlesse it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eies than all the seeing eies of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth fileth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likenesse to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbraceing and rejoyciâ—g in thy Laws waies word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Crosse for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joyes and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled with this this Spirit for the peace tranquility serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and
my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmityes and to make us that with bouldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and pertake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious alwayes shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be alwayes a heart of truth a true heart serving thee unfainedly and doing alwayes all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordinglie as we enjoy God our joyes abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possossess we possess them noâ— whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would loves or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he powers and showers down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joyes of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaies seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will sit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsover either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Me thinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for other most of all for others to refresh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in povertie I should find riches in banishment libertie in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet me thinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake then for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much then my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unlovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowst O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love but for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me onlie lovelie let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or Gods love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burden for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48.
love the other because it is in it self lovelie 91. O Lord let my love be true for thee as thine is I am sure for me 92. Let my love O Lord be hot for thee as I am sure thine is for me 93. Let my love be strong for thee as I am sure thine is O Lord for me 94. Let my love be sincere for thee as thine is O my Lord I am sure for me 95. Let my love be continual O Lord God for thee as I am sure thine is and shall be for ever for me 96. All the things out of God and besides God are to a true believer but as husks but as the shell but as dry bones c. But all things in God are the pith without the husk are the kernel out of the shell are as marrow out of the bone they are truly savory and sweet much more desirable and to be desired than gold yea then much fine gold and the most pretious pearls 97. He that is in God and finds God in him that is the life of Christ within him Christ which is holiness to be writ on his heart esteemeth himself rich in the greatest poverty for he knoweth that all things are his he still carrieth about with him that unspeakable treasure that unpusible treasure that will make him truly rich wise and honourable to all Eternitie and with this riches he maketh many rich though such a one be despised he mocketh at their laughter and mockings and sincerely desires and wisheth that they had changed their estates for such an estate as will make them surely and truly for ever rich 98. He that possesseth the riches of God his spirit esteemeth the wiscome of the wise according to the flesh that is humane freshly wisdome to be but meer foolishnesse the treasures of the world though it were even all this worlds treasure to be but meer trash and all its honours and pleasures to be but meer emptiness shadows outsides nothing and can be all fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 99. Let me have thee O God alwayes and I will alwayes say as Jacob did when he had thee I have all and I am sure I shall never lack any thing at all for this life or the life to come for thou art O God more then all that is either in Heaven above or on earth below 100. He that possesseth God thus hath in some measure Gods likenesse which is holinesse within and without and that bringeth true contentment and he that is truly contented wanteth nothing but possesseth much more by much than he which if it could be should possesse all the whole world its riches honours and pleasures thus the man that liveth in God knoweth findeth and feeleth and therefore rejoyceth with unspeakable joy and this his joy as no man knoweth so no man can take it from him it is the gift of God yea it is the gift God 101. What Ah what heart is able to conceive or tongue express the joyes Ah the joyes the joyes that he enjoyes that thus enjoyes God how how Ah how doth he rejoyce and triumph having got such a Victory having such a Crown of glory such a glorious most glorious Crown put on his head much finer then the finest gold and brighter then the clearest Pearl or Diamond thus faith makes such souls triumph without controul they are so fully filled with those rivers of pleasures that flow from Gods own right hand 102. Thou art O God thou art and there is none else none besides thee God blessed for ever give me I most humbly beseech thee if it be agreeable unto thee those joyes continually that I may Ah that I may continually fear thee that I may continually love thee that I may continually serve thee and more and more O Lord much by much give up my self spirit soul and body unto thee to worship and to adore thee the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness which is so incomprehensible and without end Ah Lord I leave my self with thee leave thou thy self with me I desire thou knowest never to goe from thee goe not then I beseech thee from me but let me be all thine and alwayes thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 103. the glory of my glory is that thou hast O God created me for thine own self for thine own glory swallow me up so in thy self that all things out of thee and besides thee O God who art my best good may be swallowed up that is consumed that all mine may be all thine thee thine mine 105. I would much rather by much that God should keep from me the greatest comforts then not to see and know my failings and fallings 106. Ah Lord the sight and knowledge of my failings and fallings causeth thee to have thoughts of good for me to send me comfort by restoring me to thy wonted favour and by giving me repenting grace pardoning grace and preserving grace 107. By seeing my failings and my fallings thou pitiest me O Lord because I am in so pitiful a case 108. Ah Lord let thine eyes be alwayes open and watch thou over me to see me in what case or condition soever I be 109. I was indeed I confess heretofore ashamed and afraid that thou should'st and did'st see me and know me I was so vile and filthy and finding no true love in me for thee I thought O Lord that thou had'st noise in thee for me but that thou did'st hate me because indeed I was altogether hateful But now I know and for which I heartily and sincerely desire ever to praise thee that thine anger is turned away and that thine hand is stretched out still over me to preserve protect defend maintaine and to do me good 110. So that what I thought was my ill I now know is my greatest good that thou seest me O God that thou alwayes seest me and I would not but that thou did'st alwayes see me as well when I am in my sins in my worst case and condition as when at the very best because at the very best thou canst see I acknowledge and sincerely consess nothing in me that thou should'st do any good to me or for me so bad is my very best so empty nothing and vile is all mine all And knowing thee now O Lord God by thine own sweet name of love and mercy I am not I praise thee at all afraid that thou see in me all my sins past because thou hast given me a free pardon for them present sins because having pardoned those I am as sure that thou wilt pardon these neither am I afraid of my sins to come because I know that thou art never weary doing good and that thou never me Wherefore O Lord seeing that thou art become my Lord and my God I now most humbly beseech thee to look on me at all times in all places and things
and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy misteries Such an endlesse and bottomlesse delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 169. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 170. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodnesse of those that are good the blessednesse of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 171. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 172. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 173. Let me thus have thee I say alwaies have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 174. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that causeth me to draw back from thee 175. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 176. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confesse it s thine and not mine 177. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 178. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessednesse even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 179. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 180. For out of thee O God my heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 181. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thine own 182. Ah Lord let me be alwaies on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 183. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 184. Ah Lord God let me alwaies have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eied it and rejoyced in it aud Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 185. Ah Lord cause me alwaies to eie those things that are invisible that eie never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endlesse everlasting joyes that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 186. Let me Ah let me alwaies hearken to hear that sweet and blessed voyce of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 187. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must passe away from us in a moment in the twinkling of an eie But that our Souls are immorral and shall live for ever and ever in endlesse unexpressible joyes or endlesse everlasting unexpressible Torments 188. How low ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of men or Angels to expresse and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodnesse which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never die and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 189. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joyes that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 190. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 191. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weaknesse in such as see confesse and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that pufeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 192. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 193. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure
inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercyes pouered and showred down so gratiously and plentiously into my heart and soul on my bed of sicknesse Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my paines yea making the thoughts of death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains of the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to Communicate unto my soul heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gratious and Divine love and the pardon of all my sins the Floods O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressable and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak inrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect freedome and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercyes which thou hast been pleased so richly gratiously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my dayes not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Lawes yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the fore past time of my life by an exact serious careful watchful and holy walking in thy most holy wayes and never be truly satisfied till thou hast alâ—ogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may alwayes see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and ayme in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who disapprove of it and that thou wilt do this and blesse it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrisive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Lance to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others ' to condemne some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels rayling Shemeies sinful Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet within this sinful ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gale not guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together Laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor soul. I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodnesse O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to imbrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of persons to the
promises which thou hast been pleased from time to time to make unto me that I may live and living dye that I may dye and dying ever live to the praise honour and glory of thine ever blessed Eternal most holy and most great most sacred and most glorious name so be it Lord so be it 97. Heaven is Heaven because it is holy yea because O Lord God thou art there that art holiness therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy yea such a holy and therefore blessed Heaven as it is so as to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so greatly sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their joy in its enjoyment and holiness is the chief joy felicity and happiness in Heaven because it makes them all like unto thy self O all Heavenly God who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven being the holiness of Heaven and therefore Heavens chief joy felicity and happiness 98. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly hearts as they desire nothing but earth that is the things on earth Ah how sweet then are Heavens sweets to a Heavenly heart and how shall Ah how shall Heaven ravish their hearts with joy and contentment when that their hearts souls and bodyes shall be in Heaven and all filled with Heaven that is with all holiness and blessedness even with God himself the ever blessed and holy God then shall they be all holy all Heavenly yea all a holy Heaven being holy as God is holy but not so holy 99. If earth then or earthly things on earth be able to satisfie any on earth surely Heaven and the things in Heaven shall be able and will satisfie all in Heaven for that all there shall enjoy all that is there even all God Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all and in all 100. And therefore by how much God is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for having him sure I have all things sure I am sure 101. Ah when I enjoy that true joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerful Enemyes and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul. Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise Laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the dore of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfaigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choyce above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more then all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our delight end and aime must be to delight him that is by walking well pleasing unto him all the dayes of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be careful and heedful to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintaine us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustaine us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will faile us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would Raign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns his ever here 129. He that