gone Oh fond experiments of simple man Foole to thy fate since all thy project men't But mirth is now conuerted vnto death Maid Oh doe not burst me joy that modestie aside Would let me show my selfe to finish all Proud Nay then thou hast my sister somewhere villain T' is plaine now thou wilt steale thy marriage Shee is no match for thee assure thy selfe If all the law in England or my friends Can crosse it t' shall not be Ing. Would t' were so well And that I knew the Ladie to be safe Giue me no ill words Sir this Boy and I Will wander like to Pilgrimes till we finde her If you doe loue her as you talke doe so The loue or griefe that is exprest in words Is sleight and easie t' is but shallow woe That makes a noise deep'st waters stillest goe I loue her better then thy parents did Which is beyond a Brother Proud Slaue thou liest Ing. Z'oones about to strike Broth. Kill him Maid Oh hold Sir you dishonour much your brother To counsaile him 'gainst hospitalitie To strike in his owne house Ing. You Lord insolent I will fight with you Take this as a challenge and set your time Proud To morrow morning Ingen T' is that I couet and prouoke thee for Bro. Wil you not strike him now Ing. No my good Boy Is both discreete and just in his aduise Thy glories are to last but for a day Giue me thy hand to morrow morning thou shalt be no Lo Proud To morrow noone thou shalt not be at all Ing. Pish why should you thinke so haue not I armes A soule as bold as yours a sword as true I doe not thinke your Honor in the field Without your Lordships liueries will haue oddes Pr. Farewell and le ts haue no excuses pray Exit Pr. Ing. I warrant you pray say your prayers to night And bring no ink-horne w' ee to set your hand to A satisfactorie recantation Exit Maid Oh wretched Maid whose sword can I pray for But by the others losse I must find death Oh odious brother if he kill my loue Oh bloodie Loue if he should kill my brother Dispaire on both sides of my discontent Tel's me no safetie rests but to preuent Exit Enter WIDDOVV and BOVLD like Princox Wid. What 's a clock Princox Bould Bed-time an 't please you Madame Wild. Come vndresse me would God had made me a man Bould Why Madame Wid. Because I would haue beene in bed as soone as they wee are so long vnpinning and vnlacing Bou. Yet many of vs Madame are quickly vndone sometime but heerein we haue the aduantage of men though they can be a bed sooner than we i'ts a great while when they are a bed e're they can get vp Wid. Indeed if they be well laid Princox one cannot get them vp againe in hast Bould Oh God Madame how meane you that I hope you know ill things taken into a Gentlewomans eares are the quick corrupters of maiden modestie I would be loath to continue in any seruice vnfit for my virgin estate or where the world should take any notice of light behauiour in the Ladie I follow for Madame the maine point of chastitie in a Ladie is to build the rock of a good opinion amongst the people by circumstances and a faire shew she must make Si non caste tamen caste Madame and though wit be a wanton Madame yet I beseech your Lady-ship for your owne credit and mine let the bridle of judgement be alwaies in the chaps of it to giue it head or restraine it according as time and place shall be conuenient Wid. Precise and learned Princox dost not thou goe to Black-fryers Bould Most frequently Madame vnworthy vessell that I am to partake or retaine any of the delicious dew that is there distilled Wid. But why shouldst thou aske me what I meant e'ne now I tell thee there 's nothing vtter'd that carries a double sence one good one bad but if the hearer applie it to the worst the fault lies in his or her corrupt vnderstanding not in the speaker for to answere your lattine prauis omnia praua beleiue me wench if ill come into my fancie I will purge it by speech the lesse will remaine within a pox of these nise mouth'd creatures I haue seen a narrow paire of lips vtter as broad a taile as can be bought for money Indeed an ill tale vnutter'd is like a maggot in a nut it spoiles the whitest kernell Bould You speake most intellegently Madame Wid. Ha'st not done yet thou art an old fumbler I perceiue me thinkes thou doest not doe things like a woman Bould Madame I doe my endeauour and the best can doe no more they that could doe better it may be would not and then t' were all one but rather then be a burthen to your Lady-ship I protest sincerely I would beg my bread therefore I beseech you Madame to hold me excus'd and let my good will stand for the action Wid. Let thy good will stand for the action If good will would doe it there 's many a Ladie in this Land would be content with her old Lord and thou canst not be a burthen to me without thou lie vpon me and that were preposterous in thy sexe take no exceptions at what I say remember you said stand e'ne-now there was a word for one of your coate indeede Bould I sweat Madame you are verie merrie God send you good luck ha's your Ladyship no waters that you vse at bed-time Wid. No introth Princox Bould No Complexion Wid. None but mine own I sweare did'st thou euer vse any Bould No indeede Madame now and then a peece of scarlet or so a little white and red Cerusse but in troth Madame I haue an excellent receipt for a night masque as euer you heard Wid. What is it Bould Bores grease one ounce Iordane Almonds blanch't and ground a quarterne red Rose-water halfe a pint Mares vrine newly couer'd halfe a score drops Wid. Fough no more of thy medicine if thou lou'st me few of our Knights errant when they meete a faire Ladie errant in a morning would thinke her face had lien so plaster'd all night thou hast had some Apothecarie to thy sweet heart but leauing this face physick for by my troth it may make others haue good ones but it makes me make a scuruie one Which of all the Gallants in the Towne would'st thou make a husband of if thou might'st haue him for thy chusing Bould In troth Madame I but you 'll say I speake blindly but let my loue stand a side Wid. I think it not fit indeede your loue should stand in the middle Boul. I say Master Bould oh do but marke him Madame his leg his hand his bodie all his members stand in print Wid. Out vpon thee Princox no me thinkes Wel-tride a handsome fellow I like not these starch'd Gallants masculine faces and masculine gestures please me best Bould How like you Master Pert Wid. Fie vpon him when
let the Rorers meddle with me another time as for flying I scorne it I kild 'em like a man when did you euer see a Lord hang for any thing we may kill whom we list marry my conscience pricks me ah plague a this drinke what things it makes vs doe I doe no more remember this now than a puppie-dogge Oh bloodie Lord that art bedawb'd with gore Vaine world adiew for I will rore no more Bould Nay stay my Lord I did but trie the tendernesse of your conscience all this is nothing so but to sweeten the tale I haue for you I foretold you this fain'd mischance Feesi. Is it a tale belonging to the Widdow Bould I thinke you are a witch Feesi. My grand-mother was suspected Bould The Widdow has desired you by me to meete her to morrow morning at Church in some vnknowne disguise least any suspect it for quoth she Long hath he held me fast in his moist hand Therefore I will be his in nuptiall band Feesi. Bould I haue euer taken you to be my friend I am very wise now and valiant if this be not true dam-me Sir you are the sonne of a whore and you lie and I will make it good with my sword Bould I am what e're you please Sir If it be not true I will goe with you to the Church my selfe your disguise I haue thought on the Widdow is your owne Come leaue your fooling Feesi. If this be true thou little Boy Cant. Bould So true as thou tel'st to me To morrow morne when I haue the Widdow My deare friend shalt thou be Exeunt Enter MAID like the foote-boy SELDOME with a couple of SERIEANTS PITS DONNER Maid Sir t' is most true and in this shall you be vnlike to other Citizens that arrest To vndoe Gentlemen your clemencie heere perchance saues two liues one from the others sword The other from the Lawes this morne they fight And though your debtor be a Lord yet should he Miscarrie certainely your debt were lost Seld. Do'st thou serue the Lord Proudly Maid Sir I do Seld. Well such a Boy as thou is worth more money Then thy Lord owes me t' is not for the debt I doe arrest him but to end this strife Which both may loose my money and his life Enter Lord PROVDLY with a riding rod Pr. My Horse there Z'oones I would not for the world He should alight before me in the field My name and honor were for euer lost Seld. Good morrow to your Honor I doe heare Your Lordship this faire morning is to fight And for your honor Did you neuer see The Play where the fat Knight hight Old-castle Did tell you truly what this honor was Pr. Why how now good man flat-cap what d' ee lack Who doe you talke to sirrha 1. Serg. We arrest you Pr. Arrest me rogue I am a Lord ye curs a Parliament man 2. Serg. Sir we arest you though Pr. At whose suit Seld. At mine Sir Pr. Why thou base rogue did not I set thee vp Hauing no stock but thy faire shop and wise Seld. Into my house with him Maid Away with him away with him Pr. A plot a trick by Heauen See Ingens foote-boy t' is by his Masters meanes oh coward slaue I 'le put in baile or pay the debt Sel. I I I wee 'll talke with you within thrust him in Ex. Enter INGEN looking on his sword and bending it his brother like a Man Ing. If I miscarrie Franck I prithee see All my debts paid about fiue hundred pounds Will fully satisfie all men and my land And what I else possesse by natures right And thy descent Franck I make freely thine Broth. I know you doe not thinke I wish you dead For all the benefit besides your spirit So opposite to counsaile to auert Your resolution that I saue my breath Which would be lost in vaine to expire and spend Vpon your foe if you fall vnder him Ing. Franck I protest you shall doe iniurie Vnto my foe and much disturbance to Vnto my soule departing die I heere Fairely and on my single enemies sword If you should not let him go off vntouch't Now by the Master of thy life and mine I loue thee Boy beyond any example As well as thou do'st me but should I goe Thy second to the field as thou dost mine And if thine enemie kild thee like a man I would desire neuer to see him more But he should beare himselfe off with those wounds He had receau'd from thee for that time safe And without persecution by the Law For what hap is our foes might be our owne And no mans iudgement sits in Iustice place But weighing other mens as his owne case Broth. He has the aduantage of you being a Lord For should you kill him you are sure to die And by some Lawyer with a golden tongue That cries for right ten angels on his side Your daring meete him cal'd presumption But kill he you hee and his noble friends Haue such a golden snaffle for the jawes Of man deuouring Pithagorean Law Thei 'le reyne her stubborne chaps e'ne to her taile And though she haue yron teeth to meaner men So master her that who displeasd her most She shall lie vnder like a tired jade For small boates on rough seas are quickly lost But ships ride safe and cut what by they list Ing. Follow what may I am resolu'd deare Brother This monster vallor that doth feed on men Groanes in me for my reputation This charge I giue thee to If I doe die Neuer to part from the yong Boy which late I entertain'd but loue him for my sake And for my Mistresse the Ladie Honor Whom to deceiue I haue deceiu'd my selfe If she be dead pray God I may giue vp My life a sacrifice on her brothers sword But if thou liu'st to see her gentle brother If I be slaine tell her I dy'de because I had transgrest against her worthy loue This sword is not well mounted le ts see thine Enter MAID like a foote-boy Maid Your staying Sir is in vaine for my Lord Proudly Iust at his taking horse to meete you heere At Seldomes suit the Citizen was arrested Vpon an action of two hundred pounds I saw it Sir t' is true Ing. Oh scuruie Lord It had beene a cleanlier shift then this to haue had It hinder'd by command he being a Lord But I will finde him Enter Lord PROVDLY Proud You see valiant Sir I haue got loose Pro. stabs his sister For all your stratagem oh rogue are you there Ing. Most ignoble Lord Ingen stabs Proud in the left arme Proud Coward thou did'st this That I might be disabled for the fight Or that thou mightst haue some excuse to shun me But t' is my left arme thou hast lighted on I haue no second heere are three of you If all doe murther me your consciences Will more then hang you damn you come prepare In. Brother walk off take the boy away is he hurt
a nose to put it through d ee heart blow your face sirra Tear You le pledge me Sir Wilt. Indeede I will not Tear Dame me hee shall not then Tear Lord vse your owne words Dame me is mine I am knowne by it all the towne o're d' ee heare Fee It is as free for mee as you d' ee here Patch Tear I haue paid more for 't Welt. Nay I le beare him witnesse in a truth his soule lies for t my Lord Spilb. Wel-tri'd you are growne proud since you got good Clothes and haue follow'd your Lord Strikes they scuffle Whoore. I haue knowne you lowzie Wel trid Welt. Rorer you lie Draw and fight throw pots and stooles Dr. Oh Iesu All Sw. Zoones cleaue or be cleft pell mell slash armes and legges Fee Hart let me alone with 'em Breake off Welt. Why now thou art a worthy wight indeed a Lord a Lorne Fee I am a mad man looke is not that one of their heads Welt. Fie no my Lord Fee Dam me but t is I would not wish you to crosse me a purpose if you haue anie thing to say to me so I am readie Welt. Oh braue Lord manie a rorer thus is made by wine come it is one of their heads my Lord Fee Why so then I will haue my humour if you loue me let 's goe breake windowes somewhere Welt. Drawer take your plate for the reckoning there 's some of their cloakes I will be no shot-log to such Draw Gods blessing o' your heart for thus ridding the house of them Exeunt Actus quarti Scaena prima Enter WIDDOVV vndrest a sword in her hand and BOVLD in his shirt as started from bed Wid. Vnciuill man if I should take thy life It were not to be weigh'd with thy attempt Thou hast for euer lost mee Bould Maddam why Can loue beget losse Doe I couet you Vnlawfully Am I an vnfit man To make an husband of Send for a Priest First consummate the match and then to bed Without more trouble Wid. No I will not doe 't Bould Why you confest to mee as you'r Gentlewoman I was the man your heart did most affect That you did doate vpon my minde and body Wid. So by the sacred and inuiolate knot Of marriage I doe but will not wed thee Bould Why yet inioy me now Consider Lady That little but blest time I was in bed Although I lay as by my sisters side The world is apt to censure otherwise So 't is necessitie that wee marry now Wid. Pish I regard not at a straw the world Fame from the tongues of men doth iniury Oftner then Iustice and as conscience Onely makes guilty persons not report For shew we cleare as springs vnto the world If our owne knowledge doe not make vs so That is no satisfaction to our selues So stand wee ne're so leprous to mens eye It cannot hurt hart-knowne integritie You haue trusted to that fond opinion This is the way to haue a widdow-hood By getting to her bed Ahlas young man Should'st thou thy selfe tell thy companions Thou hadst dishonour'd mee as you men haue tongues Forked and venom'd 'gainst our subiect sexe It should not moue me that know 't is not so Therefore depart Truth be my vertuous shield Bould Few widdowes would doe thus Wid. All modest would Bould To be in bed and in possession Euen of the marke I aim'd at and goe off Foild and disgrac't come come you 'll laugh at me Behind my back publish I wanted spirit And mock me to the Ladies call me childe Say you denide me but to trie the heate And zeale of my affection toward you Then clap't vp with a rime as for example Hee coldly loues retires for one vaine triall For wee are yeelding when we make deniall Wid. Seruant I make no question from this time You 'll hold a more reuerent opinion Of some that weare long coates and t is my pride To assure you that there are amongst vs good And with this continencie if you goe away I 'le be so farre from thinking it defect That I will hold you worthiest of men Bould S'hart I am Tantalus my long'd for fruit Bobs at my lips yet still it shrinks from me Haue not I that which men say neuer failes To o'recome any oportunitie Come come I am too cold in my assault By all the vertues that yet euer were In man or woman I with reuerence Doe loue thee Ladie but will be no foole To let occasion slip her fore-top from me Wid. You will faile this way to vpon my knees I doe desire thee to preserue thy vertues And with my teares my honor t' is as bad To loose our worths to them or to deceaue Who haue held worthy opinions of vs As to betray trust all this I implore For thine owne sake not mine as for my selfe If thou bee'st violent by this stupid night And all the mischiefes her darke wombe hath bred I 'le raise the house I 'le crie a rape Bo. I hope you will not hang me that were murther Ladie A greater sinne then lying with me sure Wid. Come flatter not your selfe with argument I will exclaime the law hangs you not I Or if I did I had rather farre confound The deerest bodie in the world to me Then that that bodie should confound my soule Bould Your soule ahlas Mistresse are you so fond To thinke her generall destruction Can be procur'd by such a naturall act Which beasts are borne to and haue priuiledge in Fie fie if this could be farre happier Are sensitiue soules in their creation Than man the prince of creatures thinke you Heauen Regards such mortall deeds or punisheth Those acts for which he hath ordained vs Wid. You argue like an Atheist man is neuer The prince of creatures as you call him now But in his reason faile that he is worse Than Horse or Dog or beasts of wildernesse And t is that reason teacheth vs to doe Our actions vnlike them then that which you Termed in them a priuiledge beyond vs The basenesse of their being doth expresse Compar'd to ours Horses Buls and Swine Doe leape their Dams because man does not so Shall we conclude his making happilesse Bould You put me downe yet will not put me downe I am too gentle some of you I haue heard Loue not these words but force to haue it done As they sing prick-song e'ne at the first sight Wid. Go too keep off by Heauen and Earth I 'le call else Bould How if no bodie heare you Wid. If they doe not I 'le kill you with mine owne hand neuer stare Or failing that fall on this sword my selfe Bould Oh widdow wonderfull if thou bee'st not honest Now God forgiue my mother and my sisters Thinke but how finely Madam vndiscouer'd For euer you and I might liue all day your Gentlewoman To doe you seruice but all night your man To doe you seruice newnesse of the trick If nothing else might stirre ye Wid. T' is